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View Full Version : Gamer Drama Issue With Being Active?



Melville's Book
2014-03-12, 08:04 PM
I'm the type of player who tends to be fairly lax. I'm not bad at roleplaying and do fairly well at it when drawn in, but I don't really actively seek to involve myself most of the time (and make appropriately quiet characters so I don't step outside my comfort zone too often). I usually just go along with plans, contribute when I'm needed, and don't take a lot of initiative on things in-game.

My DM came to me recently and told me that some of the other players took issue with the fact that I don't speak often and that I generally don't contribute to things like planning, thinking outside the box in fights, or pursuing plots that were designed with my character in mind. I don't really know what to say to this... I pay a lot of attention to what's going on, so it's not like I'm doing something rude like texting, but I'm just not really the type to put effort into getting involved in that sort of stuff. It's not like I'm too busy gaming the system, either, I just sort of listen and don't do much.

I didn't get any sort of "start getting active or I'll boot you" ultimatum so no need to worry about that, but she did bring to my attention that I was making the other players upset, and I personally want to correct it. However, I'm just more of a simple-minded person who doesn't like thinking of complex plans and the like, and I prefer not to have to think on my feet too much either, and since I'm fairly quiet I feel really uncomfortable interjecting while people are having a conversation as I would generally do if attempting to roleplay. What should I do to make the others feel better without sacrificing my own enjoyment of the game?

Slipperychicken
2014-03-12, 11:17 PM
My DM came to me recently and told me that some of the other players took issue with the fact that I don't speak often and that I generally don't contribute to things like planning, thinking outside the box in fights, or pursuing plots that were designed with my character in mind. I don't really know what to say to this... I pay a lot of attention to what's going on, so it's not like I'm doing something rude like texting, but I'm just not really the type to put effort into getting involved in that sort of stuff. It's not like I'm too busy gaming the system, either, I just sort of listen and don't do much.


Well, the least you could do is bite the plot hooks. I consider doing so respectful to the GM: the poor guy took time out of his day to write a whole adventure for you, so you might as well go along with it. Just alert the party that there's something you'd like to do.

I know that I'm saddened when other players pass up good plot hooks. It's wasteful and impolite, like throwing out a gift before unwrapping it.

ElenionAncalima
2014-03-13, 08:21 AM
First, I'll say that at the very least you seem like a nice person. A lot of people would get defensive and shut down at a comment like that...you seem generally interested in becoming a better player.

I have a very similar player to you who I both play with and DM for. I will admit that we often get a little frustrated, because she when it comes to roleplaying situations she feels like deadweight. However, I do sympathize because she is just a very shy person and she has a lot of trouble with articulation when put on the spot. This causes trouble because out regular DM is very quick to shut people down. However, she is a lot better in my game, because I try not to jump on her for stuttering or have NPCs react in game to her obvious discomfort. Perhaps you can come to an agreement with your DM...that you will try harder to participate if he/she helps ease you into it.

Its also worth talking to the other players to find out where they wish you would contribute more. When they ask for your opinions on things, don't just say you agree with everyone else...even if thats true try to list at least one reason. Just going along with everything gives the impression that you weren't listening/don't care, even though that probably isn't the case. If strategies aren't your strong point...be open with them as players and characters. Perhaps even make it a part of your character, that he/she isn't particularly tactically minded. Sometimes a little emphasis can make the difference between bad playing and good roleplaying

If you want to make a shy character, that shouldn't be a problem. However, the other players should still feel like you are a character in the game. Perhaps describing your actions would help a little more. If the other PCs put you on the spot, something like, "I look nervous to be put on the spot and stutter...'I don't know. I'm not good at this stuff'" is a lot more immersive that just saying, 'I don't know'.

Also, I have to agree with SlipperyChicken...if your DM writes a hook for you...take it. If you haven't noticed him doing it...have him make eye contact with you or something. The best way to make yourself participate is to put yourself in a situation where you have to.

At the end of the day, there are lots of ways I could suggest improving roleplaying. However, if you are just a naturally shy person, there is only so much you are going to feel comfortable with. If you are playing with reasonable and understanding people, I would say come to some sort of compromise and lay down what the expectations for participation are.

Talos
2014-03-13, 08:40 AM
I can not agree more with the above post. It seems that you struggle alittle with speaking in front of people alittle bit. You by no means have to jump in and be a mary sue or anything not at all. take baby steps discribe what your charactor is doing rather than, hey i got the uber idea to take down that baddy. A good thing to do maybe is give your charactor a quirk, that you can discribe in a RP situation. like they always sit at he bar instead of the tables in a tavern or they stand for have to have something a certain way. Anything that you can do to ease your way into feeling more comfortable role playing.

something as simple as, I wipe the dust off the old bottle with me sleave, wiggle he stained cork stopper out and drink it's contents, my eyes widen in disbelief as my broken leg mends itself. ( first time with a healing potion)

sakuuya
2014-03-13, 08:54 AM
If you're genuinely uncomfortable having your character take the lead in a plot, maybe ask your DM if she'll avoid your-character-focused plots in the future. Make it clear that you understand that she's trying to give everyone a chance to shine, and that's admirable, but being thrust into the spotlight like that makes you uncomfortable. Plus, then the other players don't have to grind their teeth while you ignore plot hooks.

Joe the Rat
2014-03-13, 11:32 AM
Have you considered being a Sidekick? Be the character actor in an ensemble cast. Entertaining, but not a mover of plots. Ask questions, point things out, and generally facilitate the others doing their clever/awesome/crazy stuff. Depending on the group and dynamics, you may be able to play Foil - provide a contrast against which others can shine like the crazy diamonds they are.

Something else you can try is asking more questions of the DM - getting more details of the world and situation that the rest of the party can use in their planning and scheming. You might not need to actually do more, just talk more.

Felhammer
2014-03-13, 12:01 PM
I don't see the harm in contributing a bit more. It doesn't have to be much, just push yourself to be a bit more of an active player. Yes it is slightly out of your comfort zone but this is a social game that is most enjoyable when everyone contributes.

Fabletop
2014-03-13, 01:12 PM
Well, the least you could do is bite the plot hooks. I consider doing so respectful to the GM: the poor guy took time out of his day to write a whole adventure for you, so you might as well go along with it. Just alert the party that there's something you'd like to do.

I know that I'm saddened when other players pass up good plot hooks. It's wasteful and impolite, like throwing out a gift before unwrapping it.

This.

I prefer encorage and train more activity from players. It sometimes takes a sociological shift but we can get there given time. As long as the player can embrace their role: Playing.

The Mormegil
2014-03-14, 05:46 AM
I'm gonna drop this (http://lookrobot.co.uk/2013/06/20/11-ways-to-be-a-better-roleplayer/) here. From a DM perspective, this is pretty solid advice.

I'm also gonna say go with the flow and have fun. Do not put your own fun behind the expectations of others or you'll regret it in the long run (I should listen to my own advice sometimes :smallsigh:).