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Leviting
2014-04-24, 01:25 AM
This is my second successful(?) homebrew, please critique it and explain any errors I made. Thanks in advance!


The Shard Seeker



[i]No one will escape

The shard seekers are those who, rather than using traditional magic or psionics, instead magnetically manipulate tiny clusters of sharp medal, called shards. They use these to destroy their opponents, but also for utility purposes in times of peace.

Adventures: Many adventure to see the world, away from the confines of monasteries where they were raised.

Characteristics: Strong (hopefully) ranged damage, and tracking down targets.

Alignment: Shard Seekers are either Lawful or Chaotic, though most are lawful, due to their monastic upbringing.

Religion: I have no idea how dnd religion really works. Primus (of mechanus), I guess?

Background: Most Shard Seekers were raised in monasteries from birth or early age, though some join cults as teens or adults.

Races: Humans, usually, though other races, likes Elans and Elves, also may find it appealing.

Other Classes:

Role: Ranged blaster, with tracking capabilities, and a bit of skillmonkey-ship
Adaptation: They could potentially use crystals, or even sand.

GAME RULE INFORMATION
Shard Seeker's have the following game statistics.
Abilities: Wisdom, as it determines their total number of shards, and some of their techniques strength.
Alignment: Any Lawful or chaotic
Hit Die: d6
Starting Age: 20 + 3d4
Starting Gold: What amount of currency your class starts at level one with normally ("As barbarian," "As cleric," "As druid," "As fighter," "As monk," and "As sorcerer" are the standard options, though feel free to put down the numbers, as well.).

Class Skills
Autohypnosis(Wis), Balance(Dex), Climb(Str), Decipher Script (Int), Disable Device(Int), Escape Artist(Dex), Gather Information(Cha), Hide(Dex), Intimidate(Cha), Jump(Str), Move Silently(Dex), Search(Int), Sense Motive(Wis), Spot(Wis), Survial(Wis), Tumble(Dex)

Skill Points at First Level: (6 + Int modifier) x 4
Skill Points at Each Additional Level: 6 + Int modifier

Shard Seeker


Level
Base Attack Bonus
Fort Save
Ref Save
Will Save
Special


1st

+0

+0

+2

+2
Clusters, Wind Slash, Track


2nd

+1

+0

+3

+3
Distracting Cuts, Empty Hand


3rd

+2

+1

+3

+3
Forceful Shards


4th

+3

+1

+4

+4
Skewer


5th

+3

+1

+4

+4
Reservoir


6th

+4

+2

+5

+5
Cluster Plate, Searcher


7th

+5

+2

+5

+5
Maglev


8th

+6/+1

+2

+6

+6
Crumple


9th

+6/+1

+3

+6

+6
Runed Shard


10th

+7/+2

+3

+7

+7
Whirling Reservoir


11th

+8/+3

+3

+7

+7
Hurricane Slash


12th

+9+4

+4

+8

+8
Particle Lift


13th

+9/+4

+4

+8

+8
Improved Skewer


14th

+10/+5

+4

+9

+9
Rupture


15th

+11/+6/+1

+5

+9

+9
Convergence


16th

+12/+7/+2

+5

+10

+10
Advanced Metals


17th

+12/+7/+2

+5

+10

+10
Torrent


18th

+13/+8/+3

+6

+11

+11
Brainstorm


19th

+14/+9/+4

+6

+11

+11
Isolation


20th

+15/+10/+5

+6

+12

+12
Unstopping



Class Features
All of the following are class features of the Shard Seeker.

Weapon and Armor Proficiencies: The Shard Seeker is not proficient in any armor. The Shard Seeker is proficient in the gauntlet, dagger, punching dagger, spiked gauntlet, kukri, short sword, longsword, scimitar, greatsword, and spiked armor as a weapon (but not as an armor)

Clusters: The Shard Seeker uses clusters as a resource. Clusters are the groups of sharp, metal shards orbiting the Shard Seeker. They can be hidden in the Shard Seekerís pack as a free action. You have [class level] + [wisdom] shards. Every round, 1 quarter of your total shards returns to orbit.
Techniques: The Shard Seeker uses techniques when manipulating shards. These all use one standard action, and require a free hand to use.

Wind Slash (Su):(1st Level) The Shard Seeker slices through the air with a sheet of metal shards, dealing [class level]d4 + [class level] x 4 damage. Requires 2 clusters

Empty Hand (Su):(2nd level) The Shard Seeker can now manipulate items up to ten pounds per class level up to forty-five feet away. If the item is metal, increase this to fifteen pounds per class level. An object may be moved up to twenty-five feet in any direction. Requires one cluster.

Skewer (Su):(4th level) The Shard Seeker launches a harpoon formed of shards at a target enemy up to forty five feet away. Upon hitting an enemy, the harpoon deals [class level]d6 damage. Upon striking the target, you can either choose to knock the target prone and stunned, or pull it fifteen feet in any direction. If the target succeeds on a Reflex save(DC 10 + [class level] + Wisdom modifier), It only takes damage, but dos not suffer from any additional effects. Every additional cluster spent increases the save DC by two. Requires a minimum of 4 clusters.

Reservoir (Su):(5th level) The Shard Seeker Sends a minimum of five shards onto the ground to a location of his choosing. The Shard Seeker may use techniques from the location of the Reservoir, though each shard pulled from the Reservoir returns to Shard Seeker, as opposed to the Reservoir. A DC [class level] x 2 spot or search check is required to notice the Reservoir. A Shard Seeker can have one Reservoir at 5th level, two at 8th level, three at 12th level, four at 16th level, and five at 20th level. The Reservoir(s) can be placed and moved as a move action.Requires a minimum of 5 clusters.

Cluster Plate (Su):(6th level) The Shard Seeker forms plates of tightly clustered shards to defend himself. This requires 2 clusters per one AC(Deflection Bonus).

Searcher (Su):(6th level) The Shard Seeker expands the orbit of his shards to reach out and feel what he cannot see. The Shard Seeker gains Blindsight and a +3 bonus to Search, Survival, and Track checks. For every additional cluster spent, add one to the bonuses. Requires a minimum of 5 clusters.

Maglev (Su):(7th level) The Shard Seeker can now levitate with the power of magnetism. He gains a fly speed equal to his base land speed times 1.5(perfect maneuverability), and becomes immune to effects that would hurt one touching the ground. For every additional cluster spent, increase the fly speed by five feet per second. If the Shard Seekerís boots are metal, subtract one cluster from the cost. Requires a minimum of 3 clusters.

Crumple(Su):(8th level) The Shard Seeker crushes the target with the targetís own armor, killing it. If the target succeeds on a fortitude save(DC 10 + [class level]/2 + [wisdom modifier]), it survives, but takes [class level]d4 damage due to the immense strain. This only works on creatures containing metal or having some other form of armor plating. If the target is wearing metal armor, subtract four clusters from the cost. For every additional cluster spent, add two to the save DC. Has a base cost of six clusters.

Runed Shard (Su):(9th level) The Shard Seeker launches a single, unique shard at a target. The Shard Seeker must succeed on a ranged touch attack for this to work. If the attack succeeds, the shard embeds itself deep within the target. The Shard Seeker now knows exactly where the shard is at all times. In addition, the Shard Seeker may violently expel the shard from the target, dealing [class level]d4 + [class level] x 4 damage. The Shard Seeker must prepare each Runed Shard individually, each taking twenty minutes of undistracted carving to create. The Shard Seeker may own one Runed Shard per three class levels. For every additional cluster spent, add one to the touch attack roll. Requires a minimum of two clusters.

Whirling Reservoir(Su):(10th level) The Shard Seeker can now have any Reservoir he forms rise from the ground and spin in a mass of shards, causing anything standing in or passing through it to take [class level]d6 damage, as per the spell Blade Barrier, but without the 15d6 maximum damage cap. The Reservoir loses the required spot or search check to be seen.

Hurricane Slash(Su):(11th level) This technique acts as a standard wind slash, but hits all enemies within fifteen feet of the target, and deals an additional 3d4 damage to all victims. Requires six clusters.

Particle Lift (Su):(12th level) The Shard Seeker lifts the target up to twenty feet into the air for up to 2 rounds. If the target succeeds on a reflex save(DC 10 + [class level]/2 + wisdom modifier), it is unaffected. If the attack is successful, the target is staggered for the duration of the technique. This ability deals no damage and can be used on friendly targets, though the target is still staggered, and still takes damage from falling. For every size category above medium, add one cluster to the cost, and subtract one cluster for every size category below medium. Has a base cost of four clusters.

Improved Skewer (Su):(13th level) Rather than launching single harpoon of shards, the Shard Seeker launch five smaller ones, each impaling the target at a different point. This functions the same as a standard Skewer, but all targets gain +2 to all rolls against the target, and the target is rendered helpless. If the target succeeds on a fortitude save(DC 10 + [class level] + wisdom modifier), it is not rendered helpless, but still is otherwise affected by the ability as normal. For every additional cluster spent, add two to the save DC. Requires a minimum of five clusters.

Rupture (Su):(14th level) The Shard Seeker cause one of his Reservoirs to explode, dealing [class level] x [number of clusters in reservoir] + 3d4 damage to all creatures within ten feet of the explosion.

Convergence (Su):(15th level) The Shard Seeker targets a space between at least two of his Reservoirs. Suddenly, all Reservoirs used (minimum two) rapidly converge and explode, dealing [class level] x [total number of shards used] + 3d4 damage to all creatures within ten feet of the impact, and an additional [class level]d4 damage to the targeted space. Requires one cluster to use.

Torrent (Su):(17th level) The shard Seeker channels his shards at high speeds, dealing [class level] + [total shards used]d4 damage to all enemies within a forty-five foot line. Requires a minimum of one cluster per affected target to use, but the Shard Seeker can use as many as he wants.

Brainstorm (Su):(18th level) The Shard Seeker sends shards into the brain of the target through any possible openings, and proceeds to violently rip them out. This deals [class level] x 5 + 5d4 damage, and deals 1d6 damage to all the targetís mental stats. In addition, the target is blinded and deafened, and must save individually for both senses (Fortitude DC [class level] + 10 +wisdom modifier). The target is also rendered stunned for one round. Consumes one runed shard and, and only affects targets with a brain.

Isolation (Su):(19th level) The Shard Seeker marks a target. All rolls against that target are increased by +3. In addition, when that target is at least five feet away from any allies, it takes an additional 2d6 damage from all sources. Lastly, when a target marked by Isolation is killed, the Isolation effect is passed on to its nearest ally. Requires one cluster.


Passive Abilities

Track (Su):(1st level)The Shard Seeker gains track as a bonus feat.

Distracting Cuts (Su):(2nd level) Add [class level] to all Concentration DCs caused by the Shard Seeker.

Forceful Shards (Su):(3rd level) The Shard Seeker manipulates his shards with immense force. All techniques used by the Shard Seeker deal either force or physical damage, whichever is more convenient.

Advance Metals (Su):(16th level) The Shard Seeker can now use more advanced metals. He has two options:
Mithral: A very light metal, the Shard Seeker can manipulate much more of it. The Shard Seeker can now use 1.5 times as many shards (rounded down).
Adamantine: An incredibly strong metal, the Shard Seeker deals 1.5 more damage (rounded down), and all save DCs are increased by five.

Unstopping (Su):(20th level): The Shard Seeker has mastered the use of shards, he never messes up. Whenever you roll a natural one, roll again and add the two results together. Treat the final result as what you originally rolled.

zegram 33
2014-04-24, 06:14 AM
Ok, this is REALLY cool, and has some handy skills besides (I especially like the reservoir set of skills)
one thing: as written, this guy has basically nothing to do with his move action (having kinda deja vu here, cuz I got told the exact same thing on my second homebrew haha). I would maybe make setting reservoirs a move action, cuz otherwise he basically has to waste a turn to do so, which a lot of people would skip out on.


Clusters: nice, but you end up with a LOT of them, so there wont be much limit of his higher tier skills (especially if you go with mithril)

wind slash: get someone elses opinion on this , but im a little concerned about the base damage of the attacks. specifically, the [+class levelx4] part. bear in mind, a constant 4 per level is considered equal to 1d8/level, so you've essentially given this guy 1d12 on every hit (higher for his brainstorm move)
That's fine if you were intending it, just might be a little overpowering (depending on what tier you're going for)

Empty Hand: how far can he manipulate it?

Skewer: same sort of point (heh), and the first thing that jumped out at me: damage is fine, but as written, this guy can knock the enemy prone and stun him with no save. maybe add a fort save to avoid the secondary effect? It can be fairly high, but you just wanna avoid being able to insta-stunlock everything dangerous.

Reservoir: niiiice, maybe change to move action but, niiiiiice. incidentally: I assume the clusters used in reservoirs do not return to the shardmaster at the end of his turn? like, it puts a temporary lower cap on his max clusters?
as a complete aside: im currently working on a class which animates weapons to fight for him with some minor similarities to this, and one of the skills there would work well for this: what if reservoirs eventually threatened the area around them, so they could retaliate with attacks of opportunity? no worries if not what you were imagining, just thought id mention it.

Cluster plate: weak, but works well as a panic button to stack a ton of ac. flavourful and cool

Searcher: Very nice. I might add say...tremorsense and Blindsense to the mix if they spend...8 and 10 clusters, respectively. also: Do they have to spend that cluster price every turn?

Maglev: cool ability, nice fluff with the metal boots thing..i like it.

Crumple: Clever. flavourful SoD. the fact its an at-will SoD this early is neatly balanced by only working on limited enemies. I like it.

Runed Shard: nice move. does the shard damage whilst going in? does the target KNOW they've been hit? if so, they may well dig it out once they escape. maybe make it so the shard master can choose to hit them properly (allowing the attack) or embed it in clothes/natural armour/whatever for tracking. in this case, cuz its so hard to set up (relatively) I like the damage

Whirling reservoir: Nice and cool

Hurricane slash: nice. quite powerful, but I think its fair for mid-level.

Particle lift: good. powerful but not overtly so. might wanna clarify what it does to flying enemies, If anything.

Improved skewer: nice skill, helps allies whilst dealing damage. same problems as original skewer.

Rupture: nice. allows for a powerful prepared explosive if the shard master places a ton of shards pre-emptively. handy skill.

Convergence: as above, but more useful on-the-fly. maybe allow an option to make a blade barrier between the two at....I dunno.... [your CL+ total number of clusters in the reservoirs]/2?

Torrent: Hey, magical railgun. powerful, cool, and effective.

Brainstorm: wow. Hits like a truck, and weakens all their mental stats. debuff-y wizards are gonna love you. my gut says allow a save before it hits. I know at this level guaranteed 90 damage isnt as good as some moves, but its still pretty powerful, and the secondary effects (plus the fact that at this point you have 7 runed shards to burn) make this....
I dunno. I'd wait for someone elses opinion, im not so hot at the top levels of play.

Isolation: that being said, THIS one I like. Very nice synergy with skewers pull effect and the reservoirs blade barrier effect to separate one guy from the crowd and bring him down good and proper


Track: nothing to write home about but a nice out of combat skill.

Distracting cuts: nice! yeh, wizards will hate this guy.

Forceful shards: id personally make it piercing or slashing at this level, then add force at a higher level. Or, hell just make it ignore maybe....1 point of DR for every 2 CL's, since I assume that's what your going for.

Advanced Metals: Mithral: seems like a good upgrade
Adamantine: again, get this double-checked, but...Gah! I'd personally say this was too good. doesn't seem much reason to go with mithral (since even at level 1, you'd be rocking like 12 shards.), and 1.5x damage would mean some pretty heavy damage.

Unstopping: strong, but then its a capstone. I like what this does, its just a little...unspectacular.

you also seem to have forgotten to add BAB and the saves to the table, unless +x is shorthand for something im just unaware of.
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I know that looks like a lot of problems, but probably 90% of it is just wording clarifications and stuff that I expect you meant to add.
very solid class, I like it

Leviting
2014-04-24, 09:10 AM
Thank you very much, I can't believe I forgot the saves and BAB.