Perv's Guide to Gnomes?

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Alright, I used to be a big fan of that David the Gnome show on Nickelodeon, and we taped like a hundred episodes when I was younger which my little brothers are now addicted to. So, hey, thought I might check out Gnomes from the library, the book all this is based off of.

Open it up, start reading to them, and err... what in the boop is wrong with these people? I mean, I'm all for realism in fantasy, but COME ON. Reads and is illustrated like a little kid's book but then you go and have an entire page devoted to the 'bosom' of the female gnome, with big ole pictures on the subject.

You then have naked gnomes milking a goat, breastfeeding babies, and whats up with the page about them carving little knick-knacks while on the toilet? Surprised he wasn't reading the latest issue of PLAYFEY or something.

I'm really thinking the maker's of this book had just a bit too much unhealthy interest in the little guys.

[J_Muller]

That really is a strange, strange book.

It's probably Belgian.

[SDF]

I REMEMBER THAT SHOW! And I never want to see the book for that reason.

[ray53208]

its not playgnome... its national geognomic. those gnome bosoms are educational.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

I REMEMBER THAT SHOW! And I never want to see the book for that reason.
Hey, when you're 5-8 its great ;)

However, I was greatly confused as a youngster about how certain shows seemed to have the same bits but a different plot... and now that I watch them again I see they ARE the same bits. They just keep recycling scenes.



those gnome bosoms are educational.:smalleek:

I really need to start saving quotes...

[bosssmiley]

That really is a strange, strange book.

It's probably Belgian.

"Dashed unsporting..." :smallbiggrin:

Wasn't the original "Gnomes" book European? I know the perfidious Continentals have a markedly higher tolerance for showing the less 'wholesome' (inverted commas used advisedly) aspects of life in their children's publications than we relatively squeamish Anglos. I for one never understood the sheer, gleeful fascination with poop that German cartoons took. :smallconfused:

[Brickwall]

Gnomeish boobs. Are we talking D&D gnomes here, which are very human-like, or are we talking those ugly smurfish things? Because the first one is perfectly healthy.

[Chunklets]

I believe that the book in question was Dutch, if it's the one with the Wil Huygen drawings (I can't remember the author). I remember it very fondly from my childhood; oddly enough, it was one of the books (along with The Hobbit etc.) that shunted me in the direction of D&D.

[Kyral]

That book is...creepy. On so very many levels.

[Druid]

I almost want to read this book. It just sounds too bad to miss.

[InaVegt]

I believe that the book in question was Dutch, if it's the one with the Wil Huygen drawings (I can't remember the author). I remember it very fondly from my childhood; oddly enough, it was one of the books (along with The Hobbit etc.) that shunted me in the direction of D&D.
Sure, make another connotation to the dutch and indecency, while we're not as much hiding it as the americans this kind of stuff would never be allowed in a childrens book over here nowadays.

[Chunklets]

Sure, make another connotation to the dutch and indecency, while we're not as much hiding it as the americans this kind of stuff would never be allowed in a childrens book over here nowadays.

It was certainly not my intention to make any insinuations about Holland, Gezina. As a kid, I didn't find there to be much wrong with the book (although the trolls were a bit scary), and neither did my parents, since they bought me Gnomes when I was about ten years old (this may explain a lot :smallwink: ).

Anyway, just to make sure that we are actually talking about the same book, I looked it up on Amazon. Here's a link (http://www.amazon.com/Gnomes-30th-Anniversary-Rien-Poortvliet/dp/0810954982/sr=8-1/qid=1171584541/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-0295172-5594230?ie=UTF8&s=books); apparently it was originally published in Dutch in 1976. Is this the one that the OP was talking about?

As I said above, I have very good memories of that book (not including, unfortunately, where my copy of it is now), and it influenced my eventual interest in D&D.

Edit: I just realized the mild irony of somebody who uses a kobold avatar giving effusive praise to a book about gnomes! :smallbiggrin:

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Gnomeish boobs. Are we talking D&D gnomes here, which are very human-like, or are we talking those ugly smurfish things? Because the first one is perfectly healthy.
The latter, though I wouldn't exactly call them 'ugly' per se...




Anyway, just to make sure that we are actually talking about the same book, I looked it up on Amazon. Here's a link (http://www.amazon.com/Gnomes-30th-Anniversary-Rien-Poortvliet/dp/0810954982/sr=8-1/qid=1171584541/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-0295172-5594230?ie=UTF8&s=books); apparently it was originally published in Dutch in 1976. Is this the one that the OP was talking about?
Aye, tis the same.

[Saithis Bladewing]

Edit: I just realized the mild irony of somebody who uses a kobold avatar giving effusive praise to a book about gnomes! :smallbiggrin:

Nothing and everything about you is ironic, Chunky. :smallbiggrin:

[InaVegt]

Holland
It's called the Netherlands, why doesn't anyone ever use the correct name, If I started calling the USA washington, or the UK england, how would you feel if you were from the country but not from that particular region?

*le mad*

[ampcptlogic]

It could be for the same reason that people called the People's Republic of China 'China' and the Republic of China 'Taiwan': Less of a mouthful. It's also possible that most people are completely unaware of the existence of Luxembourg and say 'Belgium' when they mean 'Belgium'.

But I can also see your point. As a Texan, being accused of being from the New York, New Jersey, or anywhere in New England would annoy me.

[Mauril Everleaf]

Gez, where are you from in The Netherlands? Which province or state or whatever you call them?

Also, yes, that book is creepy. All of those series of books were creepy. Barnes & Noble carries one on goblins and another on elves, I think, both of which give me the jibblies.

[InaVegt]

It could be for the same reason that people called the People's Republic of China 'China' and the Republic of China 'Taiwan': Less of a mouthful. It's also possible that most people are completely unaware of the existence of Luxembourg and say 'Belgium' when they mean 'Belgium'.

But I can also see your point. As a Texan, being accused of being from the New York, New Jersey, or anywhere in New England would annoy me.
Well, I can understan not calling the kingdom of the Netherlands that and shortening it to the netherlands instead. However Holland is part of the Netherlands, just like a scot most liekely wouldn't like it when people would constantly use england when they meant UK, I don't like it when people use Holland when they mean the Netherlands.

I'm a good Overijsselian, let the Hollanders stay in their way too big cities.

[ampcptlogic]

Gezina: I take your point and will apologize if you prefer. My European geography is not what it used to be. I'm only really aware of specific regions within the UK and Germany.

[InaVegt]

Just don't do it again, m'kay?

[ampcptlogic]

Gezina: You can rely on that.

[Chunklets]

Gezina: I take your point and will apologize if you prefer.

Likewise! :smallsmile:

[Yuki Akuma]

I might be annoyed if people call the entire UK "England".

However, I wish people would stop calling England "Britain" and just call it bloody England. No, I am not British, I am in fact English, thank you very much. *grumble*

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Bah, you guys are from Britain and Holland and if you wanna call me a Texan thats just fine.

...now, back to the discussion on gnome bosoms...

[Brickwall]

I'd personally just like to see the text of the boobs page...the images can be withheld.

[J_Muller]

I might be annoyed if people call the entire UK "England".

I do that. But then again, I'm American enough to think that the terms 'England', 'Britain', 'Great Britain', and 'UK' are interchangeable.

But, hey, you can be from the United States of America and not live on the American continent, so it's all good.

[Steward]

I do that. But then again, I'm American enough to think that the terms 'England', 'Britain', 'Great Britain', and 'UK' are interchangeable.

Did you know that the Queen of Great Britengkinungain is the only woman who has ever been the monarch of more than one sovereign nation in the world? Isn't that weird? So technically, if you mock the Britengkinungainish, they can send 1/3rd of the world's armies after you? I know that's politically and logically impossible, but it's pretty weird, huh?

However, for some on-topic nonsense; boy! Gnomes! Gnomes with breasts? How about that? Maybe the artists felt that they would be betraying their artistic values if they sugar-coated it for the kiddies.

[J_Muller]

I'd personally just like to see the text of the boobs page...the images can be withheld.

There's some dubious pseudoscience about decreased gravity allowing female gnomes to go without a bra.

[Totally Guy]

Get your gnomes here! (http://www.gnomeland.co.uk//Shop.htm)

What aa babe. (http://www.gnomeland.co.uk/Web%20Susi.gif)

[Logic]

Get your gnomes here! (http://www.gnomeland.co.uk//Shop.htm)

What aa babe. (http://www.gnomeland.co.uk/Web%20Susi.gif)

You lead me to believe you are mentally disturbed, my fine young friend. :smallbiggrin:

[Don Beegles]

I don't know, Jibar. I'd totally hit that if given half a chance.

Hit it with a crowbar, that is. It's really creepy, actually.