Terrible Character Ideas You Love

[EvilAnagram]

What are some character ideas you're sure will be awful, but want to try anyways? I was thinking a Beast Master Halfling with a pet Pteranodon (Medium beast, CR 1/4) because I want to fly on the back of my pet dinosaur. My damage output would be terrible and it wouldn't work well in most dungeons, but I'm flying on a dinosaur!

What are yours?

[Fwiffo86]

How about a mute half-orc Bard that communicates by banging on a drum in specific rhythms?

[Yorrin]

My idea also involves a halfling, amusingly enough. Specifically a blue-blooded Draconic Sorcerer whose primary offense is shocking grasp, and who picks up a couple Rogue levels for expertise in stealth and deception. But since spells cant sneak attack in this edition there's very little synergy there.

[obryn]

For 13th Age...

One Unique Thing: Only mortal to have ever beaten the Lich King in a rap battle.

[hawklost]

An Evil Necromancer who is obsessed with undead in a campaign with a Paladin, a Cleric and a Druid who all revere life :smallbiggrin:

[DrLemniscate]

Dragonborne Bard, metal Bagpipes he breathes fire out of with each musical spell. I was thinking of bringing a bagpipe soundboard and see how long the table lets me live.

Halfling Barbarian, several Bear characteristics from the Totem Spirit. Maybe even an insane AC of 24.

Half-Dragon Dragonborne Sorcerer with a Draconic Origin, either all with the same element or different. You can even try and make it make sense.

[DrLemniscate]

An Evil Necromancer who is obsessed with undead in a campaign with a Paladin, a Cleric and a Druid who all revere life :smallbiggrin:

Pathfinder managed to have a good sort of Necromancer, if that would make the party tolerate you a bit more. Basically thanking corpses for their service, not animating them for too much longer than needed, and maybe even asking permission.

Or you could just take the opposite route, and flaunt your necromancy wherever you can; having skeletons carry your stuff, make you tea.

[Beige]

I just finished the backstory for a Charlatan Oath of the Ancient Paladin - it shouldn't work, but it's too awesome not to use :smallamused:

[Vowtz]

Two levels in every class, it's an epic goal.

[TripleD]

Pathfinder managed to have a good sort of Necromancer, if that would make the party tolerate you a bit more. Basically thanking corpses for their service, not animating them for too much longer than needed, and maybe even asking permission.


Book of Exalted Deeds, in one of it's few interesting ideas, had a similar concept. Can't remember what they were called, but they were people who chose to be undead not out of fear, but duty. Sort of like warriors willingly drinking poison to serve in the afterlife.

Now I've got my own idea for a character: "Le Corpse Nikita". My guy travels to the deathbeds of people who have led boring, uninteresting lives and asks them "You've done nothing with this life, how about the next?".

[Sartharina]

An Evil Necromancer who is obsessed with undead in a campaign with a Paladin, a Cleric and a Druid who all revere life :smallbiggrin:"But I love life too, and want to give it all a second chance!"
What are some character ideas you're sure will be awful, but want to try anyways? I was thinking a Beast Master Halfling with a pet Pteranodon (Medium beast, CR 1/4) because I want to fly on the back of my pet dinosaur. My damage output would be terrible and it wouldn't work well in most dungeons, but I'm flying on a dinosaur!

What are yours?Why would the damage output be terrible? Between his extra attack, full archery getup, and damage-boosting spells, his damage should be on par with any other ranger's.


Right now, I'm trying to see how a Leonidas-like Halfling functions, using Shield andShortsword. I really wish Shields were light weapons like they were in the playtest.

[EvilAnagram]

Why would the damage output be terrible? Between his extra attack, full archery getup, and damage-boosting spells, his damage should be on par with any other ranger's.

It lacks the Hunter's damage-increasing features, and my animal won't be able to contribute to damage. In fact, if we have to go inside, the Beast Master path is completely wasted since the Pteranodon will be useless in a dungeon or hallway.

That said, I would name him Falcor.

[Grynning]

Two levels in every class, it's an epic goal.

Only if it's a goblin, and you name him Senor Vorpal Kickasso (http://www.goblinscomic.org/02032006/)

Thinking about it, this edition would be pretty good for that if it wasn't for the fact that you'd miss out on all your ability score increases. 4 levels in 5 classes, on the other hand, could be pretty good.

[Twelvetrees]

Battlemaster Fighter who parries and trips with a blowgun. Damage is abysmal, but the idea is fun.

[DrLemniscate]

Battlemaster Fighter who parries and trips with a blowgun. Damage is abysmal, but the idea is fun.

Shoot a dart in someone's eye, they drop their weapon.

Shoot a dart in someone's eye, they trip.

I see no problem with this.

[Vowtz]

Only if it's a goblin, and you name him Senor Vorpal Kickasso (http://www.goblinscomic.org/02032006/)

Thinking about it, this edition would be pretty good for that if it wasn't for the fact that you'd miss out on all your ability score increases. 4 levels in 5 classes, on the other hand, could be pretty good.

I agree that the funniest (saddest to some) part of dodge feat was having people declare it once every round, it's hilarious!

[hawklost]

A Cleric of an Evil god spending the entire game pretending to be one of a good god until the end where he can backstab the party in the climatic finally!

EDIT:
I actually had a player do this in 3.5 a long time ago. He collaborated with the DM when he created the character. It was hilarious and painful at the end :smallfrown:

[EvilAnagram]

A Cleric of an Evil god spending the entire game pretending to be one of a good god until the end where he can backstab the party in the climatic finally!

EDIT:
I actually had a player do this in 3.5 a long time ago. He collaborated with the DM when he created the character. It was hilarious and painful at the end :smallfrown:

But... but you explicitly told me that you don't worship the Prince of Lies and Treachery!

[hymer]

I want to fly on the back of my pet dinosaur.

Not on the back, go beneath it!

http://www.monstershack.net/reviews/cartoons/gfx/dinoriders/ep2/soar.jpg

My bad idea is a druid that prefers to fight in normal form using Shillelagh, Flame Blade, etc.

[ambartanen]

I've always wanted to play an intelligent monk/paladin. MAD was, is and shall forever be against me.

[Inevitability]

A fighter with the Magical Training feat or whatever it's called. Has picked up Shillelagh, dumped strength and boosted wisdom. All the time he's wacking people with his quarterstaff and manages to hit because he's so wise.

Of course, it is a terrible idea, as you are exchanging a feat for the ability to get slowed down by your armor and get forced to wield bad weapons. But still, the idea of a fighter who only focuses on mental stats is a fun one.

[Confusion567]

A player in one of my games has a thousand of these, though some are actually mechanically strong:

"The Onion Knight," a poor farmer who was spoken to by the voice of nature, which said "the power to change the world is all around you." At the time, he was out in his field, looked around him, and saw... onions. So when he embraced his natural druid powers, he attributed everything to the influence of "the mighty onion." His build, of course, is a standard onion druid.
The best part about him is that every skill he has is justified in the same way:
"Wow, you're really amazing at disguises!" "Yes, I have many layers, like the wily onion."
"You're really strong!" "Yes, like the mighty onion."
"That was a really clever solution to that problem!" "Yes, like the wise onion."
So far, he has also imitated "the crafty onion," "the devious onion," "the illustrious onion," "the pneumatic onion," "the boisterous onion," "the mysterious onion," "the enigmatic onion," "the nutritious onion," and "the charismatic onion."

A Lawful Good Drow Paladin with Oath of Devotion who rebels against the evil of Lolth and seeks to bring the light to the rest of the Drow. Only problem is, every time he Channels Divinity to make his sword glow, his Sunlight Sensitivity blinds him [yes I know that's not RAW, but I don't care]. "Wicked Drow, see the glory of the AUGH dammit that stings light!"
Also, because of how much he hates Lolth, he destroys spiders wherever he sees them, but this represents as "EEEEK A SPIDER kill it kill it kill it! What? No, I wasn't afraid, of course not, why would you say that is it dead yet?"

A sorcerer raised by unicorns who gets really confused by people who just "can't do magic." "What are you talking about, BAM, mage hand. No, no, you're not doing it right, just BAM, mage hand. Augh, no, why can't you get this, didn't your parents raise you right?"

Half-Orc Barbarian with Noble Background, Artemis V. Bartleby, switched at birth with human noble child. V stand for "Von," but Artemis not understand it not middle name. Artemis have many elocution lessons as child, but not get hang of prepositions. Him sometimes fly into rage at fancy party, but always pay for damages.

Finally, not to plug my own thread, but I've always been a fan of the sandwich wizard (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?370669-You-Could-Seriously-Play-a-Sandwich&p=18074512).

[MustacheFart]

Not sure if this would work/be allowed but:

Step 1) Play a warlock with blade pact.
Step 2) Find a siege weapon such as a scorpion or cannon or whatever.
Step 3) Have a wizard cast Magic Weapon on it and concentrate for an hour.
Step 4) Use that hour to make it your pact weapon.
Step 5) Summon a siege weapon wherever and whenever.

Only issue I could see would be ammo so maybe do it to a trebuchet/catapult. Then you could fling your party barbarian/fighter/melee guy at the enemy.

[Lord Raziere]

Noble background Kender Wild Magic Sorcerer.

The name pretty much says it all really.

[EvilAnagram]

Kender are forbidden at my table, you sick bastard.

[Lord Raziere]

oh thats ok, I'll just switch to halfling and play someone who steals things permanently. :smallbiggrin:

after all, Kender were originally conceived to solve the "thieving good race" problem that the author had, so technically a halfling who actually steals stuff would be even worse!

but yeah, thats kinda why its a terrible idea, and why its in this thread.

[hawklost]

A Mute character. It was fun for a while but got really frustrating when trying to warn people of problems.

Better. A Mute Sorcerer who uses Silent Spell Meta-magic for everything!

[MustacheFart]

Here's another one:

A Pokemon Trainer-

You could theoretically play a pokemon trainer. Just get a Magic Net. Make that your pact weapon as a warlock. Then cast it onto some creature/animal. After one minute away from you it will disappear to the extra-dimensional space. If the creature hasn't escaped by then, CONGRATS! You just caught a DnD-mon. Now just summon that net to release your new DnD-mon. If you combo that with Charm you will be one stronger trainer... Don't forget that you can use Sleep or Hold Person (fluffed as Stun Spore) on the tough ones to ensure you capture them.

[EvilAnagram]

oh thats ok, I'll just switch to halfling and play someone who steals things permanently. :smallbiggrin:

Ha! Did I say, "you bastard?" I meant, "you magnificent bastard!"

[Graustein]

A literally random Wild Sorceress.

Background, race, spell list; all are determined by dice roll

I have allowed guaranteed access to damaging spells to stop my fellow players kicking me from the table, but I can't choose which damaging spells, which means I've so far got Chill Touch and Witch Bolt to use in combat. She's also allowed to pick which spell on her list she swaps out each level, but can't pick the new spell.

It's a lot of fun, to be honest.

[EvilAnagram]

I had a random sorceress in 4e. She was a changeling Wild Magic Sorceress with a Wisdom of 8.

I named her Prudence.

The concept was that she had never really gotten the hang of magic. Sometimes she pointed at things and they combusted. Sometimes they froze. I selected powers that involved random chance, and anytime I tried to attack, I rolled on a table to see what ability I used. As I leveled up, she learned to utilize her abilities on purpose, but they still had unpredictable results. My favorite was when I tried to put out a fire and I accidentally added more fire to it.

She also had a twelve-man Chaos Bolt chain, which was just beautiful.

[Monakai]

I had an idea for a Tiefling Warlock with a fiend pact. He's the son of a human mother and a fiend father, but the mom won the custody battle, so he spends most of his time on the material plane with her. The dad still loves his son and is trying to be supportive, but is very disconnected from him and doesn't quite know what to do. So, he gives him the various fiend powers in an over protective manner.

My favorite part are the conversations they have. "Now son, I want to make sure you always know Burning Hands because you never know when a good damage spell will come in handy. Now, I also got you a Command spell because sometimes you just want to win people over, you know? And please, make sure you keep your tome on you. I want you to stay smart, and that will really help diversify-"
"Oh my god, shut up dad! I don't need your help! I can do this stuff on my own!"

[Stan]

underpants gnome. A gnome barbarian who fights in his underwear and who takes underwear as trophies. I'm sure he'll eventually find a way to make a profit from all the underwear.

If possible, I'd enchant his underwear so it functions as Heward's handy haversack so he can store everything he needs there and reach in to pull stuff out he needs. He's not scratching his butt, he's looking for his tool set.

[rlc]

moon druid with lycanthropy. sometimes he can't control his wild shape.

[DrLemniscate]

underpants gnome. A gnome barbarian who fights in his underwear and who takes underwear as trophies. I'm sure he'll eventually find a way to make a profit from all the underwear.

If possible, I'd enchant his underwear so it functions as Heward's handy haversack so he can store everything he needs there and reach in to pull stuff out he needs. He's not scratching his butt, he's looking for his tool set.

Real women want men who need a Bag of Holding for underwear.

[Stan]

Real women want men who need a Bag of Holding for underwear.

:smallbiggrin:

[Logosloki]

A druid who only wildshape into small category creatures.
A druid who only wildshapes into beasts of burden.
A warlock, theme it as a magical girl.
Play as a warlock, 'mother may I' an elf, half-elf or a tiefling in your group is your patron.
As a conjuration wizard, make a deck of cards or a wooden ball you have painted half red and half white as your arcane focus.
A reformed barbarian who never rages
As a human (variant) warlock make unarmed fists as your pact weapon, take tavern brawler.

[toapat]

Blind Oath of Devotion High Elf paladin. Its less fun then in Third though and until 5th's FRCS we wont have access to Glassteel, however that has changed for this edition if its still even possible to manufacture. Noble with "I will break you" trait

[Falka]

Noble background Kender Wild Magic Sorcerer.

The name pretty much says it all really.

I guess some people just want to see the world burn.

[Yenek]

Only if it's a goblin, and you name him Senor Vorpal Kickasso (http://www.goblinscomic.org/02032006/)

Thinking about it, this edition would be pretty good for that if it wasn't for the fact that you'd miss out on all your ability score increases. 4 levels in 5 classes, on the other hand, could be pretty good.

Well, the race has been homebrewed already. (reddit.com/r/dndnext/comments/2fwcwj/goblin_as_a_pc/)
Did he take every background, as well, though? (That would be complicated.)

[Janus]

A Paladin of Vengeance based on this fine gentleman:
http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/hot1047.com/files/2013/09/John-Kreese.jpeg

"SHOW NO MERCY!"

[Yenek]

Hill Dwarf Land Circle (Grassland) Druid.

[Snails]

In 3.0, Heward's Handy Haversack allowed you to retrieve any contents for a Free Action. Pick up the feats Quick Draw and Throw Anything.

I would wander around with the party doing their bidding and whining about how lousy my lot in life is. When combats occurs I would squeal in terror and throw random stuff at opponents: pots, pans, food, tent poles, canteens, etc.

[Beige]

a female warlock - or team of them - empowered by the great old ones to help save the world from great evil in miniskirts. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYXftk1tJzw)..

or this version in a darker setting XD
http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/152/e/5/kyubey_by_alice13th-d3hsqeb.jpg

I might actually have to go through with this one :smallamused:

[Gracht Grabmaw]

A ranger with high sleight of hand and bluff who tries to convince people he is a conjurer. He carries a collection of small animals that he tamed under his coat and "summons" them out of thin air so he can sic 'em on people.

[Beige]

A ranger with high sleight of hand and bluff who tries to convince people he is a conjurer. He carries a collection of small animals that he tamed under his coat and "summons" them out of thin air so he can sic 'em on people.

I once played an artificer who specialized in bags of tricks - was a simmilar concept, and was fun as heck :smallbiggrin:

[Naanomi]

I've had a soft spot for the FR Goddess 'Waukeen' for a long time; and with her return to the pantheon list I started making a few Waukeenite characters.

One was a Paladin of Vengeance serving the church... hunting without mercy the 'evil' of unpaid debt, overzealous thieves, and any business practices that disrupt the overall economy. 'Of course we should slay the dragon, all the coin in all it's horde needs to be redistributed into the local economy!'

[EvilAnagram]

I've had a soft spot for the FR Goddess 'Waukeen' for a long time; and with her return to the pantheon list I started making a few Waukeenite characters.

One was a Paladin of Vengeance serving the church... hunting without mercy the 'evil' of unpaid debt, overzealous thieves, and any business practices that disrupt the overall economy. 'Of course we should slay the dragon, all the coin in all it's horde needs to be redistributed into the local economy!'

No one knows that mysterious hero's name. We just call him... The Regulator...

[jkat718]

underpants gnome. A gnome barbarian who fights in his underwear and who takes underwear as trophies. I'm sure he'll eventually find a way to make a profit from all the underwear.

We had a CN Rogue in our party who, after every. single. battle. would cut off the nipples of the dead, and throw them in his "nipple sack," which was his backpack. This contained nothing but a metric butt-ton of nipples, the penis of a statue we found (this was, at one point, shoved up our Cleric's ass while he was unconscious), and a sewing kit. Once his backpack was full/his carrying capacity was reached, he sewed the nipples into a cape, clothes, and suit of armor. I forget why he eventually stopped; I think it was a matter of weight. We ruled that 20 nipples = 1 coin = 0.2 lbs, so 0.01 lbs per nipple, but then again, we did blast through half an army of mooks for fun after handily defeating the boss, so I don't really want to know how many nipples he looted after that. Good times, good times.

TL;DR: CN Rogue stills ALL THE NIPPLES and fashions them into a full outfit.

[Bubzors]

One of my friends I am currently playing with is a Fighter/Sorceror Warforged with the charlatan background. He either uses his disguise hat or the disguise self spell to look like an elderly man wearing heavy armor. He is also pretending to be a low duke in a nearby kimgdom. He spends most of his time convincing the party and NPC's he is nothing but a human fighter, and constantly uses silent spell to hide his casting as he rushes head first into combat. The name of this genius character? Lord Chauncey, duke of Binderbottom (AKA Robo Jones). His objective is to infiltrate the human nobility so he can bring upon the robot revolution.

It is quite entertaining.

[EvilAnagram]

Chaotic Evil Tiefling Paladin dedicated to Pelor. He really wants to be good but it's just so hard! Every time he uses a Paladin power he takes 1d4 points of damage for daring to let his blasphemous tongue utter Pelor's name.


One of my friends I am currently playing with is a Fighter/Sorceror Warforged with the charlatan background. He either uses his disguise hat or the disguise self spell to look like an elderly man wearing heavy armor. He is also pretending to be a low duke in ahis time convincing the party and NPC's he is nothing but a human fighter, and constantly uses silent spell to hide his casting as he rushes head first into combat. His objective is to infiltrate the human nobility so he can bring upon the robot revolution.

It is quite entertaining.

I love it. :smallbiggrin:

[shadow_archmagi]

My next character is going to be a Warforged Monk who insists he is human, and uses his Warforged traits as evidence for how great a monk he is.

IE: "Such is my discipline and bodily mastery that I can turn my skin as hard as iron, allowing me to shrug off even sword blows!"

"My Ki is so perfectly balanced I can hold my breath for days at a time. Days!"