View Full Version : It was an epic fight....

2007-03-20, 11:16 AM
Last Wednesday, I was playing in a 1st-level game, and it was so funny, I had to spread the news. The party of 4 was attacking a fortified goblin village. Once we got past the ditch and blowgun-poison darts, the Enlarged paladin started tearing through the gobbos in melee. My rogue knocked down a few with sneak attacks, and the wizard couldn't hit worth a darn with his crossbow. The Cleric was busy looking for the spell-chucking shaman, and dodging the scorpions he was summoning. Not too threatening, but the hp damage on us was mounting by bits.
Eventually, the wizard cornered the shaman, and then failed a Will save vs. Hypnotism, so he stis down and lets the shaman escape. The last two goblins with clubs are forced into a corner. My rogue takes out one, takes a 2 point hit from the last clubber, and fails his Fort save against the secondary poison damage-- he passes out. The DM mimics the goblin flexing and brandishing his club in victory.
The paladin advances on the goblin and misses. The goblin hits for 3, and the paladin fails her secondary Fort save from the earlier poison, and passes out. The goblin is now really bragging, pointing to his club and taunting the cleric.
The cleric advances, despite the player announcing that she is down to 2 hp. The DM admits the goblin is down to one. They both miss, and the goblin continues talking smack. They both miss. They both miss. They both miss. Neither one is rolling higher than 10. The goblin is really laying it on, and the cleric can see the tribe's females and children watching from a nearby cave mouth.
I (player) start cheering on the goblin-- if he wins, he gets to be the new alpha male in this tribe! If he wins, I get to tell my wife we got TPK'd by a goblin with a club! "Go Thrag, Go!"
They miss again. They miss again. They miss again. We are all laughing real hard now. Finally, the cleric connects, and ends the life of Thrag the Mighty. :smallfrown:

I think in some future game, I will play a goblin warrior, son of Thrag, out to continue the legend of his father. Maybe I can get a statue of Thrag and his club for my avatar?

2007-03-20, 11:20 AM
Better yet, go forth wielding the Sacred Club of Martyred Thrahg. It will be the most epic use of a scavenged stick/cracked femur in all D&D. >_>

2007-03-20, 11:24 AM
Talk your DM into letting you take the Ancestral Relic feat from Book of Exalted Deeds with the club as the Relic.

2007-03-20, 11:27 AM
Didn't this happen in the "Goblins" webcomic?

2007-03-20, 11:36 AM
Didn't this happen in the "Goblins" webcomic?

...not particularly?

2007-03-20, 11:39 AM
Fighting a goblin fortification / village is a staple of low level D&D. The game starts from level 1 you know..!

At any rate.. sounds awesome. You should totally talk to your DM about playing the son of Thrag, wielder of the mighty club :P

2007-03-20, 11:45 AM
...not particularly?

I meant a bunch of 1st levels storming a Goblin encampment and getting severely beaten up in the process.

2007-03-20, 11:54 AM
Well, that's funny. The kind of thing you can never, ever plan.

2007-03-20, 12:40 PM
I meant a bunch of 1st levels storming a Goblin encampment and getting severely beaten up in the process.That did happen. But it has also happened in a thousand first campaign sessions. Having one particular goblin polish off two foes and have a nail-biting several-round showdown with the last man standing is a far more unusual event - and it sounds like one that the DM played up marvelously. :smallsmile:

2007-03-20, 12:52 PM
Yep, the DM did play it up well... I'm also in the game, and it was hysterical.

It would come to his turn, and he'd hold his hand up, mimicking the club, and (since none of us spoke Goblin), he'd holler "rar rar rar HA gggarrhh!!" while pointing at the club then at me.

I tried ALL of my dice, and none of them wanted to roll above a ten.:smallyuk:

2007-03-20, 04:04 PM
Haha, someone should ressurrect him, Thragg could be a great recurring villain. Some of the best ones I've seen were ones that started out as no-name canon fodder and miraculously stood up to a party.

2007-03-20, 04:48 PM
Have Thrag join the party! You could have the DM make it so that he didn't die, as he was helped by the children and women of the village, but suffer amnesia and think of the party as allies. Then, he will be immortalized forever. (Or he could be a recurring villain / have his son take up his mantle and get revenge.)

2007-03-20, 04:52 PM
Hello, my name is Gurgboth son of Thrag. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Miles Invictus
2007-03-20, 06:06 PM
Stop saying that! *flees*

Heh. Great story.

2007-03-20, 08:03 PM
Thrag will be forever imortalized. In that, he's totally going in my next game.

2007-03-20, 10:56 PM
nice, oh gobbos, its been a really long time since i fought those, them and the kobolds, ooohh those damn kobolds. sigh i miss first level

2007-03-20, 11:12 PM
We once had a colossal battle with a giant animated stone wolf. We're about seven stories off the ground, and there are large arched windows along a wall.
The thing rushes the dwarf and grapples him.
The rogue/wizard enlarges the dwarf and then JOINS THE MELEE.
My paladin does the smart thing and stays out of the grapple, chipping away (literally) with his greatsword.
The wolf is trying to drag the dwarf cleric towards the window.
The dwarf is resisting.
The rogue is trying to drag them towards the window too. (Dwarf: What?!)
So for rounds and rounds, they oppose and oppose their rolls, I'm hacking away at the damn wolf, and eventually, they get to the window, and NONE of them can make the kill. (The DM ruled it to be a grapple, pin, and then strength check to oust.)
The dwarf's managed to pin the wolf. Finally, the low-strength mod rogue nat 20's his strength check and LIFTS THE STONE WOLF OVER THE EDGE.
He flexes. The cleric tells him he did well, but to stop bragging.
My paladin gives him a funny look, walks over to the rogue and puts his hand around the rogue's tiny arm, then pats him on the back.

Best fight EVER.