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ezkajii
2015-03-06, 03:55 PM
The Flesh Alchemist's Convention: Monster Homebrew Competition Chat Thread

This is the dedicated chat thread for the new Monster Homebrew Competition. Please post any questions, concerns, comments, PEACH requests, and miscellaneous discussion about the contest in this thread!

Current Contest: And Now For Something (not) Completely Different! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?415967-The-Flesh-Alchemists-Convention-II-And-Now-For-Something-(not)-Completely-Different)

Past Winners:
Zaydos' Mimonkey (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=19069204&postcount=3) - Making a Mockery (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?402328-The-Flesh-Alchemist-s-Convention-Monster-Homebrew-Competition-I-Making-a-Mockery) contest

Fako
2015-03-07, 03:29 AM
Are we allowed to use the contest's picture for our entry? I have a wonderful idea for a monster, but I want to use that picture...

ezkajii
2015-03-07, 04:02 PM
I can't see why not!

inuyasha
2015-03-07, 08:24 PM
Hey man, good luck! I brought back the monster competition a long time ago, but I couldn't keep up. I hope that the same doesn't happen to you.

I may add an entry because I keep meaning to get back into homebrewing, this may just be the perfect opportunity :elan:

ezkajii
2015-03-07, 11:10 PM
Thanks! I haven't run a competition before but I've got a good feeling about it. :smallsmile:

Jormengand
2015-03-14, 10:51 AM
Well, have a seventh of the first part of a three-part boss fight. :smalltongue:

Zaydos
2015-03-14, 11:50 AM
I've got an idea, just got to make the time to make it. Which won't be for a few days at least. And make it where the PCs don't find a way to abuse it for twinned spells.

Debihuman
2015-03-14, 04:56 PM
To keep things fair, I'll gladly PEACH any entries.

Note: Envy has too many feats (please designate bonus feats with (B) or B. Looks like some abilities are missing designation (probably Ex abilities). Where are the saves? Hit points should still round down; not a fan of changing the rules without a good reason. There should be game mechanics associated with Special Abilities.

Devils normally do not have Unarmed Strikes. This creature should have levels of Monk.

Jormengand
2015-03-15, 02:10 PM
To keep things fair, I'll gladly PEACH any entries.

Note: Envy has too many feats (please designate bonus feats with (B) or B. Looks like some abilities are missing designation (probably Ex abilities). Where are the saves? Hit points should still round down; not a fan of changing the rules without a good reason. There should be game mechanics associated with Special Abilities.

Devils normally do not have Unarmed Strikes. This creature should have levels of Monk.

If you look carefully, it becomes more obvious that those are monk levels, not outsider hit dice. I've changed it to designate bonus feats, Deadly Sin and Shrug Off should indeed be (Ex) - no trying to lock them down in an AMF or whatever. The saves are where the saves are (Between SQ and abilities), and the monk special abilities are monk special abilities.

Debihuman
2015-03-15, 11:54 PM
If you look carefully, it becomes more obvious that those are monk levels, not outsider hit dice.

if that is the case then the creature designation is wrong. It should say:
Medium Outsider (Devil), 10th level monk.

The save mechanics of the creature's special abilities are missing. Let me explain.

Since curse of green eyes is a supernatural effect, the target should have a chance to save against it. DC is 18 (10 +1/2 creature's HD + Cha modifier). This is what I mean by game mechanics. Also, how many times a day can Envy use this ability? This is exceedingly powerful as an At Will effect for a creature with only 10 HD. I recommend that the curse only last 1d4+1 rounds rather than be a permanent effect as that would be overpowered.

The mechanics of Shrug Off aren't detailed enough. Rather than using current hit points, it should be based on the creature's total hit points. Again, this prevents it from being math intensive for the DM. I removed the first sentence as it isn't necessary and does not pertain to the special ability.


These would be my recommendations; feel free to copy and paste:

Curse of Green Eyes (Su): At will as a standard action, Envy can attempt to curse any target within a 60-foot radius with its green eyes. Any target that fails its Reflex save (DC 18) swaps its ability scores, base attack bonus, base save bonuses and armor class (including flat-footed and touch armor class) with those of Envy. The curse lasts for 1d4+1 rounds unless Envy chooses to lay a curse on a new target (including the existing target) or chooses to end the curse early. Targets keep their own hit points. The save DC is Charisma-based.

While the curse is in effect, both Envy and the target's AC values are locked until the curse ends. Neither removing existing armor nor donning new armor has any effect until the curse ends. However, other effects that would change the AC value, such as a morale effect and spells such bull's strength work normally. Envy can only have one curse active at a time.

Shrug Off (Ex): A creature with a Shrug Off ability can negate the effect of any spell or ability that would affect it or negate an adverse condition without requiring an action for it, even if it is not on its turn. However, the creature must pay 20% percentage of its total hit points to do so. These hit points are only temporarily lost and can be regained normally. If a creature has fewer than the number of hit points needed, it cannot use this ability. Envy can spend 9 hit points to shrug off a spell effect or avoid being the target of an adverse condition. If using the ability would take a creature to 0 or fewer hit points, the ability simply fails and no hit points are lost.

Debby

Jormengand
2015-03-16, 01:41 PM
Trouble is, CoGE'ing something and then running up and monking something in the face is all envy can really... do. A save that a 16th-level character (even with low reflex) should not be able to fail kinda takes the kick out of that.

In fact, being a monk makes the ability a lot worse, with Envy's high saves and medium BAB. A 16th-level wizard should still be able to take Envy even with the full-strength curse on the party's barbarian. Barbarians aren't known for their great reflex saves, so a halfway-competent blaster should be able to shoot him down. Yes, you're surrounded by the other sins, but you have the rest of your party.

Shrug Off I guess could use total hit points, but that would make it way too easy to take the squadron of so-powerful-that-normal-cr-isn't-good-enough sins. I mean, at the lower power level, this is what happens:

- Whoever wins initiative wins initiative.
- Envy is a monk, so the party focuses on, say, pride if they win initiative.
- Envy uses Curse of Green Eyes and the opponent passes a reflex save.
- Envy gets killed by pretty much whatever. Like, say, empowered fireball?
- GG.

Otherwise,
- Whoever wins initiative wins initiative.
- Envy is a monk, so the party focuses on, say, pride if they win initiative.
- Envy uses Curse of Green Eyes to get better stats.
- Barbarian rages to get better stats.
- Envy does a bit of damage to barbarian, but ultimately dies because the barbarian is still a barbarian and the monk is still a monk.

I mean, it's the mantra of nearly every brewer that more numbers don't help. And all Envy's doing is swapping his mediocre numbers for your good numbers.

Debihuman
2015-03-16, 04:33 PM
So Envy basically takes your better abilities and gives you is worse ones in exchange and it can spend its hit point to avoid things but otherwise looks like a fairly standard monk. Unfortunately this means it's not all that interesting either. Not listing a CR is a bad idea. It should be geared to a specific level and if you aren't sure, then use Vorpal Tribble's CR Estimator. It's pretty good. Right now it doesn't have enough oomph to challenge a party (CR 10 for monk levels and really it should have some defining devil traits and racial hit dice. Without its monk levels, it's basically a 1 HD devil. It should probably NOT substitute it's first racial HD for monk level. It would be a little better with the extra racial HD.

Flurry of blows damage is missing (it's a melee attack that does 1d10+ str modifier damage). It needs to take the -2 penalty too. So it should be +7 not +9. See monk chart and text. You should copy all the pertinent monk abilities it should have (that is all open content).

I'm not sure why it's listed as as having the devil subtype since it seems to be lacking those traits. Devil traits are in the SRD under Devil and were not repeated under Subtype.

Devil Traits
Most devils possesses the following traits (unless otherwise noted in a creatureís entry).

Immunity to fire and poison.
Resistance to acid 10 and cold 10.
See in Darkness (Su): Some devils can see perfectly in darkness of any kind, even that created by a deeper darkness spell.
Summon (Sp): Some devils share the ability to summon others of their kind (the success chance and type of devils summoned are noted in each monster description).
Telepathy.


Also it is missing a feat.

Debby

Zaydos
2015-04-06, 12:00 PM
Made a mimic monkey inspired/influenced by Jester of Doom's Mime (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=13761970&postcount=21) and Sun Wukong.

Mountain dwelling monk monkeys who copy your magic and hit you back with it.

ezkajii
2015-04-09, 06:05 PM
Just a reminder to everyone, there's just under a week left to get your entries in and/or finished, as appropriate. While a direct one-on-one battle between giants is great for story tension, I'd love to see a few more entries in here! :smallsmile:

Debihuman
2015-04-10, 07:34 AM
Just a quick note, Minmonkey's full attack line is missing the words "flurry of blows" for the 2nd attack.

Full Attack: Unarmed Strike +8 melee (1d6+2) or flurry of blows +6/+6 melee (1d6+2)

Organization -- how many are in a troop? A standard monkey troop is 10-40.

Voice Imitation has an awkward sentence in it. I recommend changing it to: A mimonkey can imitate any sound within the range that can be produced by a human voice. Also, there are no game mechanics associated with this ability. Just because it can sound like someone doesn't mean it uses the same vocabulary. These aren't very bright, so anyone listening for a minute or longer should be able to figure out that the person being imitated suddenly sounds a lot dumber than normal (provided the original speaker had Int 7 or higher). I would say it takes a successful DC 15 Listen check for someone to suspect that the voice isn't coming from the original speaker. I'm giving the mimonkey a +2 racial bonus for the check since it has perfect mimicry skills.

Skills: creatures "have" racial bonuses, they don't "gain" them unless they are gained through another source.

For example: a blahblahblahmonster is hyper-vigilant and has a +2 racial bonus to Perception checks, or a blahblahblah monster is hyper-vigilant and gains +2 Circumstance to bonus to Perception checks for 2 hours after it has drunk a cup of coffee. In the first case, the bonus is part of the racial make up of the creature [a true racial bonus]. In the second case, the bonus is gained only when the coffee is drunk and is dependent on that action occurring [a circumstance bonus]

Debby

P.S for anyone else who wants to enter the contest, there isn't much time and I cannot guarantee that I'll have time to review your entry.

Zaydos
2015-04-10, 10:33 AM
Added a Will save to Voice Imitation since that was used for a various Sound Imitation abilities that it is a more limited version of. Made Troops have 4d6 members for aid in random generation and because I see them as having smaller population than monkeys since they are magically modified creatures and therefore rarer, and also because they are bigger and need a smaller population density to function as hunter/gatherers (farming can expand this).

ezkajii
2015-04-26, 11:05 AM
The contest and the voting have finished, and Zaydos has acquired victory!


The next question, then: Should I make a second contest? We had a pretty poor turnout to this one and I don't want to run it if there's not any interest in it.

inuyasha
2015-04-26, 11:19 AM
I think that you should definitely make a next one! Even though this had a poor turnout, I probably would have participated if I could have thought of anything.

If you make a new one I'll try my hardest to think of something cool!

Temotei
2015-04-26, 11:33 AM
I really liked this theme. I just didn't really have the time to participate. I'd like to see more.

ezkajii
2015-04-26, 07:11 PM
I think that you should definitely make a next one! Even though this had a poor turnout, I probably would have participated if I could have thought of anything.

If you make a new one I'll try my hardest to think of something cool!


I really liked this theme. I just didn't really have the time to participate. I'd like to see more.

Encouraging! Excellent; does anyone have any ideas for the next theme?

inuyasha
2015-04-26, 11:01 PM
I've always thought more goblin variation could be nice.

Could Grand & Gross Goblinoids be the next one?

Just a thought.

Debihuman
2015-04-27, 09:41 AM
In keeping with previous contests, I peach all entries (as long as I have time). This makes it easier for others who aren't as proficient with the rules or the English language to be in a level playing field. So even if you don't think you are good at this, it doesn't matter. These contests are for fun.

If I make a suggestion, don't think you HAVE to take it either. We can all use a second pair of eyes (goodness knows I have seen errors in my own stat blocks when I write and I was a professional proofreader!). That said, I try to be respectful (and you should call me out if you think I'm being too harsh as that is not ever my intent.). I also try to keep to YOUR vision of the critter. Again, i can get off track so if I miss something or don't understand it, let me know because if I can't figure out what you mean, chances are the voters will be confused too.

Feel free to ask me anything about monster creation, I've been doing this a long time.

Also, I would like to suggest everyone use Vorpal Tribble's CR Estimater to judge the CR. As long as you aren't changing rules around (and house rules do make it harder to judge these). It's not perfect by any means but it gives a pretty general idea of the CR.

VT's CR ESTIMATOR

#1. Divide creature's average HP by 4.5 to 6.5.
4.5 for 5 HD or lower, 5 for 6-10 HD, 5.5 for 11-15 HD, 6 for 16-20 HD., 6.5 for 20-25 HD.

#2. Add 1 for each five points above 10 its AC is, subtracting 1 for every 5 below.

#3. Add 1 for each special attack (+2 to +5 or more if it has a decent number of spells in its spell-like abilities).

#4. Add 1 for each quality unless you deem it worthy of more. Add 1 for each resistance and 10 points of DR it has, and 2 for each immunity. Subtract 1 for each vulnerability.

#5. Add 1 for every two bonus feats it has.

#6. Divide total by 3. This should be its rough CR.


I was thinking a Flora and Fauna theme for May as Spring in the US is upon us (and still many areas aren't feeling it yet).

Debby

ezkajii
2015-05-01, 11:47 AM
Darn, I'm trying to come up with a way to fuse a goblin theme with a flora&fauna theme to please everyone but I'm drawing a blank. Any other suggestions, or votes for either?

inuyasha
2015-05-01, 12:03 PM
What about a specific contest for taking an existing monster (orc, goblin, bugbears, gargoyles etc.)
and then "merging" them with a more fey-like theme.

This could also be done with the elves and gnomes to make them "closer to their roots"


Just a thought ezkajii

What do you think?

P.S. I'll still totally participate.

Zaydos
2015-05-01, 12:23 PM
I think I prefer Flora (& Fauna) to Goblinoids.

Edit: Illithid stuff could be fun too, all fear the mindsquids!

Debihuman
2015-05-02, 07:13 AM
Not a fan of illithids. Plus, they're not open content. However if we just call em "mindsquids" that's okay. Though I think they've kind of limited.

Debby

inuyasha
2015-05-02, 10:40 AM
Not a fan of illithids. Plus, they're not open content. However if we just call em "mindsquids" that's okay. Though I think they've kind of limited.

Debby

Ooh Illithids! I think that a lot of fun could be had with them. If they're limited then this is your chance to make them less so.

Think of your standard mind flayer, 4 tentacled, psionic, cthulhoid, spooky.

Now, think of the existing variants that exist, most are 4 tentacles, psionic, cthulhoid, and spooky

But then...think of the really weird variants that people don't bring up enough:

The Urophion, roper mind flayer, strange, bizarre as hell, different
and the Neothelid, feral, huge, complete lack of subtlety, but still a powerful psionicist.

And yes, there is the Uchuulon and the Half Illithid template, but the two above are classics, so they are the only ones that got mentioned.

My point though, is I think we can work to make these cool beasties different.

ezkajii
2015-05-03, 12:08 PM
Hmm... What about something along the lines of one or more variants of your favorite creature? Special rule, up to 3 creature variants, or you could make a new creature kind of based on it, either mechanically similar or whose fluff says it was derived from existing creatures. A) Does that make sense? and B) Does that sound interesting?

Temotei
2015-05-03, 02:18 PM
That could be cool. I'd get behind that, though we'd likely have to be careful about variants with non-OGL content.

Debihuman
2015-05-03, 03:37 PM
Nothing with illithids is open content. It's all IP. They're not even in the SRD.

inuyasha
2015-05-03, 03:52 PM
For the idea stated above, yes that sounds amazing and yes I would participate.

As for the Illithids, this is why we call them mindsquids (or I have a third party book that calls them Illeths [not very subtle is it...])

ezkajii
2015-05-18, 11:01 AM
New contest is up! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?415967-The-Flesh-Alchemists-Convention-II-And-Now-For-Something-(not)-Completely-Different)

Zaydos
2015-05-18, 11:18 AM
Excellent... time to start percolating ideas... and to resist the desire to make true dragons.

Also I want a Red Pidgey, although the Blue one is probably smarter since it seems to be a Blue Jay and blue jays are corvids and corvids are scary smart (blue jays understand how to lie and to bury food and time it to keep it from rotting, and they're the stupid corvids).

inuyasha
2015-05-19, 08:50 AM
As we can make 3 variants of an existing thing, I'm picking vampires. The first to come is the Senovial Vampire. Let's see what comes next...

Zaydos
2015-05-29, 11:27 AM
Would a dwarf cerebromorphosed transformed by a mind flayer squid, a creature used as a pet/guard by mind squids, and a mind squid larva mutated by something count, or would I need to go say 3 of their pets, 3 transformed creatures, or 3 larval mutations?

Jormengand
2015-06-01, 01:35 PM
Hey Debby - thanks for the critique. Can't respond properly with your inbox full, tho. :smalltongue:

Debihuman
2015-06-01, 01:50 PM
Hey Debby - thanks for the critique. Can't respond properly with your inbox full, tho. :smalltongue:

Ooops. Didn't realize I had reached the limit. Time to cull. Thanks.

Debby

ezkajii
2015-06-01, 03:32 PM
Would a dwarf cerebromorphosed transformed by a mind flayer squid, a creature used as a pet/guard by mind squids, and a mind squid larva mutated by something count, or would I need to go say 3 of their pets, 3 transformed creatures, or 3 larval mutations?

The three-entry is only for variants of the existing creature, so I think three mindsquid larvae variants would be fine, but a transformed dwarf or mindsquid pet would each count singly as the entry for the contest. Though... I think three dwarf variants, inspired by mindsquids, would work.

Zaydos
2015-06-01, 03:58 PM
The three-entry is only for variants of the existing creature, so I think three mindsquid larvae variants would be fine, but a transformed dwarf or mindsquid pet would each count singly as the entry for the contest. Though... I think three dwarf variants, inspired by mindsquids, would work.

What about transformed dwarf, transformed giant or ogre (not sure which), and transformed (something more exotic)? Ultimately more mindsquids made from X instead of near-human species.

Jormengand
2015-06-01, 04:33 PM
So, the Lunar's done too...

One more to go. : 3

Debihuman
2015-06-03, 08:59 AM
Lunar Angel critique:

1. It has one too many feats (or one is a bonus feat but not designated as such)

2. Bane Holy weapon? Is it Bane (evil outsiders), Holy? Because Holy isn't a choice for bane. Also, should be a
+5 anarchic axiomatic bane (x) holy weapon and it should be in italics. It is also missing x3 critical multiplier (x2 is standard and not designated but variants should be noted in the stat block). BTW, as neutral good, there is no reason their weapons can't all the abilities listed (exactly HOW they're created could be interesting, but I digress).

Note: A typical Large character wielding a reach weapon of the appropriate size can attack a creature 15 or 20 feet away, but not adjacent creatures or creatures up to 10 feet away. Glaives are reach weapons. You should probably note this in the text (and these are statted as Large weapons even though many resize so you should state whether or not these magically resize).

3. Is this creature missing a slam? Most angels have a slam attack. If not, be aware this has no defense against enemies that close against it.

4. You forgot to add the weapons to treasure. Ditto for the Cometar too.

5. Needs typical spell list. See Solar stat block.

Looking forward to the last one though I generally don't critique epic creatures (too many variables and you may be biting off more than you can chew if the advancement is any clue).

Jormengand
2015-06-03, 09:16 AM
Lunar Angel critique:

1. It has one too many feats (or one is a bonus feat but not designated as such)
I should stop copying from the Solar's stat block.


2. Bane Holy weapon? Is it Bane (evil outsiders), Holy? Because Holy isn't a choice for bane. Also, should be a
+5 anarchic axiomatic bane (x) holy weapon and it should be in italics. It is also missing x3 critical multiplier (x2 is standard and not designated but variants should be noted in the stat block). BTW, as neutral good, there is no reason their weapons can't all the abilities listed (exactly HOW they're created could be interesting, but I digress).

"Lunar angels are the quiet assassins of the angelic hierarchy. They wield weapons of the correct bane and alignment for the creature they're trying to kill. They tend to be neutral good so that they can wield axiomatic or anarchic weapons without penalty."


Note: A typical Large character wielding a reach weapon of the appropriate size can attack a creature 15 or 20 feet away, but not adjacent creatures or creatures up to 10 feet away. Glaives are reach weapons. You should probably note this in the text (and these are statted as Large weapons even though many resize so you should state whether or not these magically resize).
Mhm, good point.


3. Is this creature missing a slam? Most angels have a slam attack. If not, be aware this has no defense against enemies that close against it.
I should really copy more from the Solar's stat block.


4. You forgot to add the weapons to treasure. Ditto for the Cometar too.
That's also true. EDIT: No, it's not: Astral, Planetar and Solar don't have them listed either.


5. Needs typical spell list. See Solar stat block.
I did note that: "They prepare spells for each individual encounter.", implying that there is no real typical spells prepared for a Lunar. I suppose I could write some up, and I need their spell-like abilities too.


Looking forward to the last one though I generally don't critique epic creatures (too many variables and you may be biting off more than you can chew if the advancement is any clue).

Heh, entirely possible. :smalltongue:

Debihuman
2015-06-03, 10:05 AM
I should stop copying from the Solar's stat block. You say that NOW....

"Lunar angels are the quiet assassins of the angelic hierarchy. They wield weapons of the correct bane and alignment for the creature they're trying to kill. They tend to be neutral good so that they can wield axiomatic or anarchic weapons without penalty." Sample creature should have a correct sample weapon even if it can use more than one type. Or all of them in this case....

I should really copy more from the Solar's stat block. I see what you did there....



That's also true. EDIT: No, it's not: Astral, Planetar and Solar don't have them listed either. Just because WotC had terrible stat blocks (the balor's stat block includes the weapon so the angels should too), doesn't mean you should follow suit with a similar bad stat block. Magic weapons should be listed in treasure. [Because it's really gonna kill WBL].

I did note that: "They prepare spells for each individual encounter.", implying that there is no real typical spells prepared for a Lunar. I suppose I could write some up, and I need their spell-like abilities too. Sample creatures show sample spells is all I'm saying.

Heh, entirely possible. :smalltongue: LOL!

My treants are up. Note to self: do not make up monsters when hungry. CL not given in spell-like abilities since it is equal to HD. "If no caster level is specified, the caster level is equal to the creatureís Hit Dice."

Jormengand
2015-06-03, 10:20 AM
What's the range increment, if any, on a coconut?

Debihuman
2015-06-03, 10:25 AM
What's the range increment, if any, on a coconut?

There is no increment only a maximum range of 30 feet.

Jormengand
2015-06-03, 10:28 AM
There is no increment only a maximum range of 30 feet.

Fair enough. I feel it should be specified, though.

ezkajii
2015-06-03, 05:49 PM
What about transformed dwarf, transformed giant or ogre (not sure which), and transformed (something more exotic)? Ultimately more mindsquids made from X instead of near-human species.

That seems reasonable.

Zaydos
2015-06-11, 02:12 AM
I have apparently decided to go with Hound Archon as my something more exotic, and I might go with worg instead of a giant.

Dwarf ones are sort of melee.

Hound Archon loses the signature abilities, but gain a mixture of new abilities and archon ones.

Not sure what to do with worg if I do them (giant would be big bruiser which is boring), might do winter wolf instead of worg, or look for some other animalistic magical beast (not unicorn).

If I get the third done I might include a sort of combined arms tactics for how they'd work in defending a city and/or raiding for slaves.

Xallace
2015-06-11, 02:35 PM
Made my first entry into the contest! And it's... also trees! Sorta.

I'll be adding a couple more dryads to the lineup, since we're allowed three, once I decide on which sorts of suitably fun flora they should be attached to.

Zaydos
2015-06-11, 02:48 PM
My vote is for prehistoric giant mushroom (http://www-news.uchicago.edu/releases/07/images/070423.fungus-prototaxites.jpg) trees (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/58/Prototaxites_structure.png/220px-Prototaxites_structure.png). Seriously the (fossils of the) things almost look like they have secondary growth under a microscope.

If I'm not allowed to vote for prehistoric stuff, giant underdark mushrooms are still a standard of D&D settings. If mushrooms aren't ok, then what about lepidodendrons (https://www.ayurtimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/lepidodendron-fossil-plant.jpg) from the Carboniferous period (i.e. where lots of coal comes from)?

Or just Pine trees, for some arctic dryads if you don't want prehistoric or mushrooms.

Xallace
2015-06-11, 02:59 PM
Giant Mushroom Trees and Prehistoric Dire Dryads are certainly really interesting possibilities! I'm also considering:

Giant Sequoia Dryads who are ancient, wise, and can grow to massive size.

Quaking Aspen Dryads who can command basically a whole forest because it's all one tree.

Strangling Vine Dryads who parasite onto other dryads.

Kudzu Dryads who are very rapidly overtaking everything else.

Debihuman
2015-06-11, 04:46 PM
Yay more entries. Since the Saguaro Dryad seems to be complete, I can critique it.

It's a bit slow. 30-foot movement is standard for Medium creatures so you may want to add something about that in her description.

Since she attacks with unarmed strikes, that should be how you present her attacks. Not sure why you didn't give her a weapon. Not having a ranged attack puts her at disadvantage in a fight. x2 crit is standard so it doesn't go in the stat block. Good choice of feats by the way.

Attack: Unarmed Strike +6 melee (1d3 plus 1d4/19-20 piercing)
Full Attack: Unarmed Strike +6 melee (1d3 plus 1d4/19-20 piercing)

Otherwise, it seems fine.

Debby

Xallace
2015-06-12, 09:10 AM
Thanks Debi! Changes have been made, some formatting has been cleaned up, and most of monster variant #2 has been uploaded. I think I'm really going to want to add an ecology & such section to each of these to help them stand out more.

Temotei
2015-06-17, 07:47 PM
I finally have an idea. I hope I can finish on time. I'll be expanding on the manticore.

Debihuman
2015-06-18, 03:18 AM
I think new manticores would be an excellent idea. We haven't had ones in a long while.

Debby

ezkajii
2015-06-23, 11:10 AM
Well, it's three days past the listed contest finish - I got wrapped up in stuff and I apologize. Temotei, I'm gonna extend the contest to the end of the week (end of day Friday) to give you a chance to get those manticores in, then I'll throw up the voting thread.

Temotei
2015-06-23, 04:35 PM
Well, it's three days past the listed contest finish - I got wrapped up in stuff and I apologize. Temotei, I'm gonna extend the contest to the end of the week (end of day Friday) to give you a chance to get those manticores in, then I'll throw up the voting thread.

Sweet. I got tied up with our town days and having a friend over, but that should be plenty of time to finish.

Jormengand
2015-06-23, 05:25 PM
The horrifically powerful Cosmic Angel is also now done.

Debihuman
2015-06-24, 04:34 AM
Okay will try to get some critiquing done quickly.

Cosmic angel is horrifically slow. 30 feet land movement is like a snail's place. 120 fly. Sheesh, even a Medium Astral Deva has a land speed of 50 and flight of 100.

Holy Power weapon and Divine Might need to be explained. I have no idea what those attacks are. If you are treating them as manufactured weapons then they should be a type of weapon. BAB + Size mod + Str = 35-8+ 17= 44 so this is not a weapon with any magical abilities. Seems lame. Also what kind of damage is that? Just untyped? This isn't very "cosmic". Shouldn't it have 2 slams as a full attack option?

Change shape is listed but no mention of what it can change shape into.

Why does it have two weapon fighting feats when it only has one melee weapon? Dire Charge is the Epic Feat. Devastating Charge is not listed in the SRD so cite please.

Lore strikes me off. No way is this a match for a deity with 60 HD.

I just noticed that the Protective Aura and Tongues text is missing from all your angels. This should be added:

Protective Aura (Su): Against attacks made or effects created by evil creatures, this ability provides a +4 deflection bonus to AC and a +4 resistance bonus on saving throws to anyone within 20 feet of the angel. Otherwise, it functions as a magic circle against evil effect and a lesser globe of invulnerability, both with a radius of 20 feet (caster level equals angelís HD). This aura can be dispelled, but the angel can create it again as a free action on its next turn. (The defensive benefits from the circle are not included in an angelís statistics block.)

Tongues (Su): All angels can speak with any creature that has a language, as though using a tongues spell (caster level equal to angelís Hit Dice). This ability is always active.

Salience should have (Gift of Life) added in stat block.

My only complaint with this creature is that it is kinda boring. None of its abilities seem "cosmic" or even related to one another.

The sample creature should include the the god it serves and all its spells should fit the domains of said deity. This feels flat and unfinished. Why does this have Gift of Life and not a mess of healing spells to go with it? It's lacking in focus.

Debby

Jormengand
2015-06-24, 09:48 AM
Okay will try to get some critiquing done quickly.

Cosmic angel is horrifically slow. 30 feet land movement is like a snail's place. 120 fly. Sheesh, even a Medium Astral Deva has a land speed of 50 and flight of 100.

Well, I'd hardly call human speed a "Snail's pace." It is meant to be a towering avatar of good, rather than a swift, deadly hunter like the Lunar.


Holy Power weapon and Divine Might need to be explained. I have no idea what those attacks are. If you are treating them as manufactured weapons then they should be a type of weapon. BAB + Size mod + Str = 35-8+ 17= 44 so this is not a weapon with any magical abilities. Seems lame. Also what kind of damage is that? Just untyped? This isn't very "cosmic".
Probably untyped in a "Results directly from divine power" kind of way. And yeah, I should probably make them more powerful.


Shouldn't it have 2 slams as a full attack option?

Yeah, probably.


Change shape is listed but no mention of what it can change shape into.

Oops.


Why does it have two weapon fighting feats when it only has one melee weapon?
It TWFs its Divine Might.


Dire Charge is the Epic Feat. Devastating Charge is not listed in the SRD so cite please.
Oops. It's meant to be dire charge.


Lore strikes me off. No way is this a match for a deity with 60 HD.
Okay, point. Fair enough.


I just noticed that the Protective Aura and Tongues text is missing from all your angels. This should be added:

Protective Aura (Su): Against attacks made or effects created by evil creatures, this ability provides a +4 deflection bonus to AC and a +4 resistance bonus on saving throws to anyone within 20 feet of the angel. Otherwise, it functions as a magic circle against evil effect and a lesser globe of invulnerability, both with a radius of 20 feet (caster level equals angelís HD). This aura can be dispelled, but the angel can create it again as a free action on its next turn. (The defensive benefits from the circle are not included in an angelís statistics block.)

Tongues (Su): All angels can speak with any creature that has a language, as though using a tongues spell (caster level equal to angelís Hit Dice). This ability is always active.

Okay, fair.


Salience should have (Gift of Life) added in stat block.

True.


My only complaint with this creature is that it is kinda boring. None of its abilities seem "cosmic" or even related to one another.

The sample creature should include the the god it serves and all its spells should fit the domains of said deity. This feels flat and unfinished. Why does this have Gift of Life and not a mess of healing spells to go with it? It's lacking in focus.

Debby
Mm, fair point.

Debihuman
2015-06-24, 12:32 PM
It's a contest but take your time J. I know you could pull out something stellar (pun intended). BTW, the full attack line only lists ONE Divine Might as a single attack with multiple iterative attacks. If it has 2 weapons then show it correctly. It should say 2 Divine Mights +30/+25/+20/+15 ranged. See for example, the Ettin.

Special attacks that have no description are difficult to suss out. I'm not sure if I would even know what kind of attack a "divine might" would be. I do not recommend treating natural weapons like manufactured weapons because it messes up with things like sunder. You would have to state in the description whether or not they can be sundered. I think if you narrowed your focus on what a cosmic angel is, it would help.

30 ft. land movement is LUMBERING for a creature of this size. It takes up 30 squares but can only move 30 squares. That's the equivalent of moving 5 ft. for a Medium sized creature. Stone giants move 30 ft. and they're supposed to be slow but they are also only Large. This is Huge. Sorry but I'm not getting why it's speed is hamstrung.

Debby

Jormengand
2015-06-24, 03:53 PM
It's a contest but take your time J. I know you could pull out something stellar (pun intended). BTW, the full attack line only lists ONE Divine Might as a single attack with multiple iterative attacks. If it has 2 weapons then show it correctly. It should say 2 Divine Mights +30/+25/+20/+15 ranged. See for example, the Ettin.

Pssh, divine might is clearly a double weapon. A ranged double weapon. Uh, yeah.


Special attacks that have no description are difficult to suss out. I'm not sure if I would even know what kind of attack a "divine might" would be.
I imagine it as blasts of holy power coming from the Cosmic's hands.


I do not recommend treating natural weapons like manufactured weapons because it messes up with things like sunder. You would have to state in the description whether or not they can be sundered. I think if you narrowed your focus on what a cosmic angel is, it would help.
Mmm, maybe.


30 ft. land movement is LUMBERING for a creature of this size. It takes up 30 squares but can only move 30 squares. That's the equivalent of moving 5 ft. for a Medium sized creature. Stone giants move 30 ft. and they're supposed to be slow but they are also only Large. This is Huge. Sorry but I'm not getting why it's speed is hamstrung.

Debby

Well, if you flew everywhere all the time, wouldn't you be a bit shoddy at walking? Anyway, bear in mind that in real life, speed isn't directly proportional to size either - I mean, elephants are barely faster than cosmics and rhinos are by your measure as fast as armoured halflings. Baleen Whales move at a snail's pace. Even lions are no faster for their size than dwarves. The correlation between size and speed simply doesn't work the way you want it to.

Debihuman
2015-06-24, 06:46 PM
Pssh, divine might is clearly a double weapon. A ranged double weapon. Uh, yeah.
LOL exactly.

I imagine it as blasts of holy power coming from the Cosmic's hands. Then why isn't it a ray attack, which is kinda what I thought but then the stat block didn't support it.

Well, if you flew everywhere all the time, wouldn't you be a bit shoddy at walking? Anyway, bear in mind that in real life, speed isn't directly proportional to size either - I mean, elephants are barely faster than cosmics and rhinos are by your measure as fast as armoured halflings. Baleen Whales move at a snail's pace. Even lions are no faster for their size than dwarves. The correlation between size and speed simply doesn't work the way you want it to.
Not necessarily. Just because a creature can fly doesn't mean it can't walk. See other angels. Most of them have average land speeds and a few are faster than average. 30 ft. is average for a Medium creature while 50 ft. is average for Huge creature. See for example how speed affects Jump checks. The lion is of average speed, 40 ft. for a Large creature.

Here's the thing: I'm not complaining that your creature is slow and lumbering (because it's 20 feet slower than average), I want to know WHY is it so slow. Saying "because it can fly" is a tad silly because other angels can fly and that doesn't negatively affect their land speed. It's because you didn't consider the ecology of this. Not giving you the stink-eye here but I can see that this has conceptually evaded you.

Consider the following: What if there isn't room to fly? Ceilings, tree canopies, being in a cavern, etc. can all impede flight. Unrestricted flight presumes that the creature never goes indoors. Odds of this showing up in some temple or church is fairly slim because of its height, unless we're talking cathedral-like heights. So part of a good creature ecology will match the stat block or vice versa. This is where good description matters. Perhaps they are lame in some way that can't be healed except by their deity (punishment for some past transgression perhaps).

Form follows function.

For example, most cat-like creatures will have pounce and rake attacks just like a lion. This includes the sphinxes. Wemics got short shrift if you ask me since, despite being like lions, they didn't get rake and pounce attacks. Although in WotC's defense, these were supposed to be playable characters and the LA would have made that difficult. I just add those attacks back in. YMMV.

The key thing is that the stat block isn't just a set of numbers and abilities all thrown together like a Jackson Pollack painting. It should also have some ties to how this fictional creature would behave if it were "real" for the players and in this case, voters. That's just part and parcel of being a good DM. The more attention to the details the more gravitas your creature will have. It won't necessarily garner you votes, but I can guarantee lack of attention will cost you votes. A brilliant concept will always capture the imagination first. After that, it's just getting the numbers right, which is a lot easier.

A brilliant concept with crappy execution will still beat perfect stat blocks with less stellar concepts. Every time. A badly done stat block is a lot easier to fix than a half-cocked concept.

Debby

Jormengand
2015-06-25, 11:05 AM
LOL exactly.
Though pathfinder has the weird sling-staff which actually is, from memory, a double ranged weapon.


Then why isn't it a ray attack, which is kinda what I thought but then the stat block didn't support it.
I dunno, I imagine it as more of a blast of divine power than a ray.


-Snip-

Debby

I get your point. I just don't imagine Cosmics moving that fast. They're meant to be towering avatars of good, not the mobile legions of heaven (Cometars), the simple emissaries of the gods (Astrals), the divine warriors (Planetars, who share the Cosmic's movement speed), the necessary swift assassins (Lunars) or the champions and commanders of the cause (Solars). They're almost the guardians of the gates of heaven; moving isn't their schtick.

Debihuman
2015-06-25, 11:14 AM
So just say that they are slow in the description. That kinda resolves the issue.

Temotei
2015-06-28, 06:55 PM
So, I didn't finish on time (obviously). I'll probably do the manticores more slowly for a while until I finish and post them in another thread if anyone is interested.

ezkajii
2015-06-29, 11:12 AM
Voting thread is up! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?424720-Flesh-Alchemist-s-Convention-II-Voting-Thread&p=19466793#post19466793)

ezkajii
2015-07-06, 08:13 AM
Just one day left to vote y'all!

Debihuman
2015-07-06, 08:49 AM
Next time bump ONLY the voting thread. It has been off pages for days. Contest has ended today unless you change it and quickly please.

ezkajii
2015-07-06, 11:32 AM
Oops, sorry about that. I've extended the voting by an additional week and updated the voting thread accordingly.

Elandris Kajar
2015-07-06, 12:01 PM
Will there be a third thread? Because then I might enter. I have some ideas.

ezkajii
2015-07-07, 10:00 AM
I'll definitely run another iteration of the contest - anything you guys wanna see for the next one?

Zaydos
2015-07-07, 10:02 AM
You might want to PM Xallace and remind 'em to vote.

Xallace
2015-07-08, 12:01 PM
I got two separate notifications, thanks folks. :smalltongue:

Ehhhhh I'll finish the dryads up sometime soon. I'd totally forgotten about them after getting stuck figuring out how exactly I wanted the size-changing power of to work.

Jurai
2015-07-13, 10:11 PM
Constructs sounds cool.

ezkajii
2015-07-14, 12:26 PM
Congratulations Debihuman and Xallace, tied for first place! Good hustle. :smallsmile:

Onto brainstorming for the next contest!

inuyasha
2015-07-14, 02:03 PM
Man I got so distracted and so much stuff was going on I totally forgot to contribute :smallfrown:

Oh well maybe this time!

As for the idea, could we do one with crossbreeds?

Elandris Kajar
2015-07-24, 07:57 PM
I vote constructs, or plants. I think of the former as a very under represented type with few unique examples and the latter has nothing in it. (Definitely zero near done ideas for each :smallbiggrin:)

Debihuman
2015-07-25, 03:14 PM
I kinda like the theme contests instead of all of us making the same Type of creature. Now, if we could just get more people to participate, that would be even more fun.

Xallace
2015-07-25, 03:23 PM
It's getting on in summer... We could have a contest themed around the beach, or tropical locales.

Zaydos
2015-07-25, 03:33 PM
I can think of ways to make non-construct creatures which would fit into a construct theme :smalltongue:

I'd say Jungle or Ancient Ruins as a theme.

inuyasha
2015-07-26, 02:14 PM
How about..."Weird Science"?

Elandris Kajar
2015-08-01, 08:50 AM
I like it. Seconded.

Jurai
2015-08-01, 01:48 PM
"We're just throwing out monsters and seeing what sticks to the wall!"

Cave Johnson, D&D 3.5 Homebrewer.

Pelican
2015-08-02, 01:47 AM
How about..."Weird Science"?

Or, along the same lines, B movie monsters could be fun/have a lot of potential:
http://m.artician.com/pu/6JPMHBFZSPODHRVGYWMOXIHVTOM5RJVH.preview.jpeg

Also, hi! I'm pretty new to homebrew in general, but this looks like it could be a fun learning experience, so color me interested.

Xallace
2015-08-02, 07:51 AM
I can 100% get behind B-movie monsters.

inuyasha
2015-08-03, 06:21 PM
B-movie monsters could be just as fun! Though I think perhaps be could open it up to just weird science, the reasoning being that some people may want to make Sharktopus, but other's might want to do something relating to Herbert West Reanimator (the book).

Temotei
2015-08-03, 09:28 PM
B-movie monsters could be just as fun! Though I think perhaps be could open it up to just weird science, the reasoning being that some people may want to make Sharktopus, but other's might want to do something relating to Herbert West Reanimator (the book).

I figure a B-Movie theme would include monsters that could fit into those films, but are not necessarily from such a film. That would allow for inspiration from them, translations, and plenty of other ideas to be let into the contest while keeping with the theme.

Jormengand
2015-08-04, 10:13 AM
Can we just stick with mad science? I feel science is cooler than whatever the hell "A monster that could appear in a B-movie" is supposed to mean.

inuyasha
2015-08-04, 12:02 PM
I figure a B-Movie theme would include monsters that could fit into those films, but are not necessarily from such a film. That would allow for inspiration from them, translations, and plenty of other ideas to be let into the contest while keeping with the theme.

Well the whole "Sharktopus" and "Herbert West: Reanimator" thing was a metaphor, I don't think anybody would make those. But I think that it would be nice for those who may want to create a mildly more serious or less cheesy application of weird science than what B-Movie implies.

Jurai
2015-08-04, 01:21 PM
Mad science!

Pelican
2015-08-04, 01:38 PM
I think there's enough overlap that I'd be happy either way. The big thing is that both themes have that sort of pulpy colorful feel that a lot of the original D&D was born out of. I suggested B-Movies specifically because I recently learned that, according to this (http://blackmoor.mystara.net/greg01.html) account, the very first monster ever to appear in the dungeon crawl was some version of The Blob (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blob) and I think tradition like that is kind of fun. However, I think B-Movies could easily be seen as offshoots of pulp sci-fi magazines like "Weird Science" or "Weird Tales."

Elandris Kajar
2015-08-04, 02:42 PM
B Movies makes more sense to me, but either works.