Just die already! [Template]

[Khoran]

Alright, this is my first shot at homebrewing a template and my first attempt at homebrewing something, so I've probobly messed up big time. *Prepares to be laughed off the site*

The Ever-dying

It’s said that sometime when someone’s around magic so long, it begins to rub off on them. The Ever-dying are living proof to this theory, exposed to the foul powers of necromancy, the ever-dying are neither living nor dead, but seem to be caught in some

Stats: Str: +4, Dex +2 Con: -4
Size and Type: The creature gains the (Undead) subtype to its creature type.
Hit Dice: Hit die is increased by 2 steps, but may never exceed a d12
(d4->d8, d6->d10, d8->d12)
Speed: As base creature
An Ever-dying is immune to poison, sleep effects, paralysis, stunning, disease, and death effects.
Ever-dying are not subject to nonlethal damage, ability drain, or energy drain, but are still vulnerable to critical hits.
Armor Class: The Creature gains a natural AC bonus based on its size
{table=head]Size|AC Bonus

Small or Smaller|
+0
Medium or Large|
+1
Huge|
+2
Garganutan|
+3
Colosal|
+5[/table]
Attacks: As Zombie
Damage: As Zombie
Special Qualities:
DR3/Slashing: a Ever-dying flesh is mostly inconsequential, though certain organs are still necessary for its survival.
Partially undead: An Ever-dying is subject to spells that specifically target undead (Hide from Undead, Disrupt Undead.), but are immune to turning, rebuking ect from clerics.
CR and Level Adjustment: (I have no idea, honestly, if anyone would be willing to suggest, I'd be more then happy to listen.)

So... how was my pathetic attempt at homebrew?

[Maldraugedhen]

Contrary to what your self esteem would have you believe, it seems to be... not that bad. It's a bit of more of the same--there seem to be a lot of partial dead templates floating around--but the penalty to constitution would give creatures afflicted with this one a slightly different feel. If you want to make it more distinct, I would recommend some fluff. The combination of increased hit die along with the constitution penalty, though, would make me wonder whether you're trying to make them tougher or weaker for damage taken. Was it that you were trying to make them more susceptible to alternative means of killing them than straight up damage (such as anything that requires a fortitude save, except they seem to be immune to most sources of those), or were you simply unsure which direction to take their HP in for the purpose of the template? The combination of hiked hit dice and a constitution penalty makes their HP more random but average slightly higher. You have a few typos here and there--dying, for example, and as the template's title, you'll probably want to fix that up. Paste it into Word so you can clean it up a bit, and you'll be all set there. Also might want to finish your last fluff sentence.

As for CR / LA, let's see... You'll probably want the opinion of somebody more experienced than me on this. While you based it off of a preexisting template, the zombie template has the problem of having a sliding CR and no LA. I suspect you'll also need a sliding CR and LA, if you want an LA at all.

[Khoran]

On the confusing Con and Hit Die thing: It's confusing, but I was trying to show the change from Living to Undead. Your Constituion starts to disapear, but you become more reslient as your flesh dies. It was mainly just a theme thing with that. However, I will admit that it does seem a bit redundant mechanics wise, and I think I'm going to revise it a little.

As for fluff, I will admit it, I am lacking in that department and need to focus more on that. What made me think of it were the Spelltouched feats, since those are mainly the possitive benefits of exposure to magic. I started thinking, couldn't that backfire and magic effect someone negativly.

As for the typos, I was trying to rush it so my ideas stuck around so I forgot to re-read after I typed :P.

[Caelestion]

At the risk of sounding obvious, either you're Undead (type, Con -, d12 HD etc.) or not. If you want a nearly-dead person, go with a living person and modify from there.

[XtheYeti]

At the risk of sounding obvious, either you're Undead (type, Con -, d12 HD etc.) or not. If you want a nearly-dead person, go with a living person and modify from there.
as true as this may be i like that you have this template inbetween. it is very cool. i also think that you should have the con score not modify hp but have charisma like a real undead

[Proven_Paradox]

It's not a bad template. You should add some details about how to go about aquiring it.

[Tor the Fallen]

What about exposure to cure/inflict spells?
I assume that cures hurt it and inflicts heal it.

[Umarth]

Could really mess with people and give cures/inflicts a random 50% chance of healing or damaging.

That would be a fun twist.

[Maldraugedhen]

Or you could do it the outside-of-the-cycle way and declare them immune to both.

[Khoran]

Thanks for the feedback everyone, I really appriciate it.


At the risk of sounding obvious, either you're Undead (type, Con -, d12 HD etc.) or not. If you want a nearly-dead person, go with a living person and modify from there.
Well, the point isn't exactly that they are nearly dead, it's that they're "damaged" by necromancy and that they're nature is warped and it's hard to destinquish what you are. I may go back and change this, however, I still want them to have a constitution score, to represent that they are alive.


as true as this may be i like that you have this template inbetween. it is very cool. i also think that you should have the con score not modify hp but have charisma like a real undead
Undead don't get bonus HP from Charisma, accourding to the SRD (Don't have a MM with me, so maybe it got left out.) It does say that they use Cha for Concentration checks though.


It's not a bad template. You should add some details about how to go about aquiring it.
I'll post some info on it this weekend, most likely. I've been having writers block recently.


What about exposure to cure/inflict spells?
I assume that cures hurt it and inflicts heal it.
I completly blanked on that whole aspect. I'll sort that out later. I'm leaning towards Cure will heal, but less effectivly, and inflict will hurt, but less effectivly. Maybe cutting down them to be 3/4ths effective?


Could really mess with people and give cures/inflicts a random 50% chance of healing or damaging.

That would be a fun twist.
Fun, but I can picture someone being upset if a cure spell ended up destroying their character when it was supposed to save them.