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View Full Version : I just won the UK Lottery!



Mr. Moon
2007-04-25, 08:58 PM
When I went to check my Email today, the only new message went along the lines of this:


Congratualtions! You have won the UK lottery! Please confirm and send us this unnesicary personal information to claim your prize!

Yeah, of course I won the lottery I never even entered. Of course it makes more sence to tell me I won the UK lotto rather than the Canadian lotto. And of course, the fact that it never mentions my name doesn't seem to matter either, does it?

Needless to say, it really made me laugh.

What about you? Have you ever gotten rediculessly obvious SPAM messages?

Raistlin1040
2007-04-25, 09:00 PM
Lets see, according to the internet I've won 3 free laptops, an Xbox 360, a bundle of "hourly prizes", a PSP, and a trip to the US.

Amotis
2007-04-25, 09:00 PM
I've really gotten the Prince from Nigeria ones. *rolls eyes*

I also get a lot of those broken English, like then ran it through a Chinese translation back into English, emails that don't make any sense at all.

Samurai General
2007-04-25, 09:11 PM
Ever seen the popups that if you shoot rubber duckys, you win an Ipod?:smallyuk:

Koga
2007-04-25, 09:11 PM
You just won the UK lottery!

Now after the ridicously high taxes...


You owe us seven dollars!



The EU Lottery: Don't hate the player, hate the game!

Dorni
2007-04-25, 09:11 PM
The most aburd-and-obviously-spam message I've gotten informed me that I won a free 11 day vacation in Cancoon. All I had to do was send a bit of personal information...

Raistlin1040
2007-04-25, 09:11 PM
"I lasered that gnome like 10 times!"

J_Muller
2007-04-25, 09:37 PM
I once got a popup proudly declaring that I had just won 20 pounds of lobster.

Jack Squat
2007-04-25, 09:38 PM
Wow...I won the UK lottery a couple months ago. What a coincidence :smallwink:


I've really gotten the Prince from Nigeria ones. *rolls eyes*

Same here, I've also gotten a few that were the same wording, but different countries.

The Extinguisher
2007-04-25, 09:40 PM
Oh sweet, you too?

That's awesome. We're lotto-buddies!

FdL
2007-04-25, 09:40 PM
I won a car the other day. Pity that I was too lazy to call the friendly automated message back. She seemed really nice, totally my type.

Ettlesby
2007-04-25, 09:44 PM
I've had several strange ads, too...One I remember is that they said I won a PSP, but in one of the pictures of the 'lucky winners', the guy was holding an iPod, and not a PSP.

Helgraf
2007-04-25, 09:46 PM
Wow...I won the UK lottery a couple months ago. What a coincidence :smallwink:



Same here, I've also gotten a few that were the same wording, but different countries.

I've won it twice in the last 7 days. Neat, eh?

Vaynor
2007-04-25, 10:19 PM
Window once popped up in the Windows... well, window, and said "Be virus free with our new program!!!!!!! *flashy lights*"

I'm on a Mac. :smalltongue:

Geode
2007-04-25, 10:23 PM
There used to be a cool website where you could play games and win prizes. Yeah, now-a-days it would be a scam. But the web was new and they were pretty open about the purpose. The games were scavanger hunts on participating companies' websites and the prizes were inexpensive promotional items. The games weren't terribly easy, you had to really dig through a website to find the target image. If you found it before anyone else did, all the info you had to give was a shipping address. Our lab won some bags of free gormet coffee from a company in California. A new game would start with directions to a different website as soon as someone won. Too bad that gamesite isn't still around.

Indurain
2007-04-25, 10:38 PM
My favourite of the banner ads is the "Outdrink Santa" one. That's just priceless.

phoenixineohp
2007-04-25, 11:28 PM
I'm surprised at the number of people giving me exclusive stock tips. And of course everyone wants me to increase the size of my 'member' to impress my partner.

I'm pretty sure that if I grew or increased the size of my member I would impress my partner... and most of medical science.

Amotis
2007-04-25, 11:38 PM
I'm surprised at the number of people giving me exclusive stock tips.

Yeah! I'm getting those too!




THE INTERNET SECTOR IS HOT AGAIN.



Symb.oL: CHVC
Current: $0.69
1 Day Target price: $1.5
Action: Aggresive Buy/Hold...


Short-term KST. Insider Buying Alert!!

Uberblah
2007-04-25, 11:42 PM
I get really... bad... spam. I don't know why. I just get it. I don't know how to stop getting it either.

phoenixineohp
2007-04-26, 12:32 AM
Gmail is pretty good. Since it's invite only it screens out a lot of the jerks who send that stuff.

Lord Herman
2007-04-26, 01:37 AM
You would be surprised how often I've been the 1,000,000th visitor on a website.

As e-mail goes, I have a fairly reliable spam filter. My spam : useful mail ratio is about 1:2 now. Used to be 20:1 or something.

s.donahue
2007-04-26, 01:44 AM
My favorites are the e-mails in which an aging, accomplished doctor in Africa needs my money in order to complete his research into some obscure disease or affliction. Whoever's writing this stuff gets into it, giving this fake doctor titles, awards, a detailed history. Pretty funny stuff.

I thought I had read something about this somewhere (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=03052007).

Glaivemaster
2007-04-26, 01:57 AM
Ever seen the popups that if you shoot rubber duckys, you win an Ipod?:smallyuk:

My friend enjoys that one, since he has a popup blocker which prevents whatever is supposed to appear from appearing. So he just gets to shoot hundreds of ducks as much as he likes :smallbiggrin:

I get a lot of spam on my hotmail, but since that's my 'spam email' address, I don't really care.

Thiel
2007-04-26, 02:01 AM
Hi

My name is cortney. I found your email on that dating site.
I also love sex on the side. I have a loving partner but he is working 16 hours a day and we have sex only once a week :(
If you are interested and wanna see my pictures just email me at ccortney456@mindspringemail.info
Don`t reply, use the email above (my boyfriend doesn`t know about that email!)



hello, I am pretty russian girl, bored tonight.
would you like to chat with me and see my pics?
if so then email me at etonya339@mindspringemail.info

I've received about ten of each from ten different people.

Also, you know about those ads for dating sites that show you a picture of some girl and a line of text underneath right?

Sometimes they manage to show the same girl twice but the text says that she lives in two different countries.

Dispozition
2007-04-26, 02:34 AM
I won the UK lottery a few months ago...That's the latest piece of spam I've gotten...I get very, very few spam emails...Really good, if you think about it...

The_Chilli_God
2007-04-26, 04:17 AM
When was the last time I received spam...?
I think it was about 3 or 4 years ago, actually. But that may have just been a chain letter.
"My name is Tracey. I am 7. I am Dead.
If you don't send this to 20 other people today, then you will die by 9:00pm..."

You think that's scary? I don't even do anything about my e-mail accounts to stop the spam! I just have a simple, free hotmail account and that's it!
...
Maybe it's the Godly Aura or something.

The Pale Knight
2007-04-26, 04:41 AM
That's the same with me. I use gmail, and I have almost ever gotten a spam email. Gmail has changed my life. Now I no longer live in fear. You should get it too. Hopefully if I keep saying things like this then the dark ovelords of Google will deign to give me money, or just give me my soul back. Both are good.

Khantalas
2007-04-26, 04:46 AM
I think my Yahoo account was filled with spam.

Then I learned not to click any of those "hobbies / interests" options.

Then I moved on to Gmail. My current ratio of spam to normal mail is like 1 / 350. And even the "spam" are from places I actually was expecting mail from.

The Pale Knight
2007-04-26, 05:03 AM
The simple fact is, Gmail emitts and aura of dark energy that overpowers all other negative forces, including spam. The Google secret heaquarters is more filled with evil than Hell, Hades, and Tartarus put together. This is their secret.

The Prince of Cats
2007-04-26, 05:24 AM
Window once popped up in the Windows... well, window, and said "Be virus free with our new program!!!!!!! *flashy lights*"
I'm on a Mac. :smalltongue:
Yeah, that reminds me of an odd one I got once.

It was a pop-up that was a perfect representation of the Yahoo-Mail login page in Internet Explorer. It looked like Yahoo has just logged you out and asked you to log back in. It even had my username (culled from the email-address, no doubt)

Of course, since I was using Firefox in Ubuntu, I kind of noticed the discrepancy...

I have had the Nigerian prince one too; that one was just so obviously fake, especially since I got three from different addresses in the same inbox...

Om
2007-04-26, 05:31 AM
I'm the billionth visitor to this site

Lady_Library
2007-04-26, 05:37 AM
I got an E-mail once from a movie website that seemed perfectly legitimate, and looked like one of my friends had sent it. So I went to sign up, and they asked me for my AOL password. *Flashing warning lights* Even though AOL, and almost all E-mail services, say that they will never ask for your password.
Suspicious!

Cyrano
2007-04-26, 08:58 PM
The simple fact is, Gmail emitts and aura of dark energy that overpowers all other negative forces, including spam. The Google secret heaquarters is more filled with evil than Hell, Hades, and Tartarus put together. This is their secret.

I get around 50 spam a week from Gmail. They send it dirRECTly to the spam box, of course. And the spam filter rocks.

My worst spam was probably the nonsensical story extract.

"Andre walked into the room, looking around for DO YOU LIKE LEO TOLSTOY BUY SEVEN THOUSAND CAMELS AND WE'LL SEND YOU A FREE DISEMBODIED OVEN MITT ORDER NOWTODAYNOTOMORROW OR YOU WILL DIE SEND THIS MESSAGE TO SIX OTHER EMAIL ACCOUNTS TO BE SAVED and then he saw her, the most-"

Thes Hunter
2007-04-26, 09:34 PM
My email address (Or ip) has been randomly chosen from some or other website many times. (Forget that ip and email isn't linked)

People in Nigeria, Britain, South Africa, Columbia, Hong Kong, Croatia and today South Korea, all seem to think I am going to be their next important business partner. They are quite silly, they should know I am highly unreliable.

I keep becoming an Ebay silver seller, even though I haven't sold anything on Ebay in like 10 years.

Om
2007-04-27, 07:49 AM
I keep becoming an Ebay silver seller, even though I haven't sold anything on Ebay in like 10 years.Frankly after learning that you can manipulate time like that I'm tempted to ask you for help :smallwink:

Steve_the_ERB
2007-04-27, 07:59 AM
My favorite are the ones where if you send them $10,000 they can somehow use that to unlock $150 million, which of course they are more than happy to split with you. I had no idea that there was so much money just sitting around doing nothing all over the world.

Penguinizer
2007-04-27, 10:11 AM
I almost never get spam....

whitedog20
2007-04-27, 10:19 AM
I get around 50 spam a week from Gmail. They send it dirRECTly to the spam box, of course. And the spam filter rocks.

My worst spam was probably the nonsensical story extract.

"Andre walked into the room, looking around for DO YOU LIKE LEO TOLSTOY BUY SEVEN THOUSAND CAMELS AND WE'LL SEND YOU A FREE DISEMBODIED OVEN MITT ORDER NOWTODAYNOTOMORROW OR YOU WILL DIE SEND THIS MESSAGE TO SIX OTHER EMAIL ACCOUNTS TO BE SAVED and then he saw her, the most-"

Hey, wull i don't get any spam, and i'm on gmail. :smallconfused: I have currently 0 spam emails. see?

ok maybe you sent an email to the wrong people, that's how you get spam. :smallsmile:

Penguinizer
2007-04-27, 10:20 AM
I only get emails from game companies I registered games to. Or some other things.

InaVegt
2007-04-27, 10:31 AM
I haven't gotten any spam on my current mail address yet.

Probably because it's something like: way.to.long.name.for.an.e-mail.address@provider.countrycode (let me inform you, it's not .nl)

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-04-27, 10:35 AM
I get lots of "bad" emails.
Yes, those kinds.

Eldpollard
2007-04-27, 10:37 AM
Ah the good old. "Hello this is [generic foreign country] give us some money and we'll give you more. This was due to a disaster, look we're genuine here is a link."
I have a new way of replying. First is to give their email to a sex site, second reply with an attachment with pictures of *things*. Also a good one is to get their message go to babel fish translator and run it through a few languages and return it.

They'd work better if it didn't say on the bottom, sent by yahoo! france.

Aotrs Commander
2007-04-27, 10:59 AM
I have frequent spam, but then again I use Outlook and the same account since I started on teh Interwebs half-a-dozen years or so ago. I now just have a list of addresses that can filter through (or whose title has a specific word in it); everything else goes in the Spam folder. I still have to check through occasionally to clear it out to make sure I'm not taking out anything important (but of course then I just skim for the name of the thing I'm looking for). The rest I just ignore. It's clunky, but it works.

The spam that makes me laugh the most is the ones which quite clearly are spam, since they don't even get my email address in the contents of the email right apart from the first letter...

On the computer on Bleak Despair, whe have a system whereby any spam communications immeidatly send a power discharge back through the system and cause the original sender to explode. I'm thinking of setting one up down here too...

Dr._Weird
2007-04-27, 11:06 AM
I have Gmail. I collect spam. I mean, that's what all that space is for, right? ATM I've got... 376 pieces of spam. Woo.

Oh, have you guys seen this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ0c5F6pFi4) and this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=c03b5A_gfIU&mode=related&search=)?

Thes Hunter
2007-04-27, 11:30 AM
Well, my primary email address was listed on the internet for many years.

Because I made a website at my school somewhere around 95? or so, whenever that Netscape thing came out and trumped mosaic. That website was soooo cool, it even blinked. However, it did also contain my email address. By the time they invented spiders I was too lazy to remove it.

And then I started using it as a way to try to promote myself into getting some sort of job with a unspecified arty degree. Which again I was too lazy to take down. (http://www-personal.umich.edu/~wolfsong)

Though about a year ago, I believe I did take my email address off the site... or at least remove it from the <email> tags.

Which is why, I get spam.... and more spam, and spam, spam, bacon, spam and spam.

Good thing spam filters have evolved. :smallbiggrin:

Narmoth
2007-04-27, 12:18 PM
Todays spam on my gmail:


"Your history shows that your last order is ready for
refilling." - (it's a erection pack)

"Do not ignore me please,
I found your email somewhere and now decided to write you.
Let me know if you do not mind. If you want I can send you some pictures of me.
I am a nice pretty girl. Don't reply to this email." - Yeah, right, as I'll leave my official, busines and personal mail address on any netsite. The only forum that has my mail is this one, and sites where I buy stuff like ebay, amazon and some bands netshops

"Please complete your application
Dear Home 0wner

Are you tired of paying high interest rates?. Your loan approval is waiting.

You can receive $250,000 for
$602 per month." - dear Home Owner, is that me? I don't own a home

"Spring Sale! Limited stock!
Check out our new prices on AUTHENTIC Viagra and Cialis:
Real Viagra (not generic!) - 90 pills - $299 (was $720)
Real Cialis (not generic!) - 90 pills - $299 (was $1250)
Smaller packages also available!
*New product: Cialis and Viagra Mix - check our site for the price.
Remember, we`re the only ones on the Internet who sell AUTHENTIC drugs.
You won`t find any generics on our site!" - If I wanted to buy, I would go to my doctor, who also would take the medication in account when prescribing other drugs, like hypertension-drugs, and buy this stuff at a real store where I could go and complain if things didn't get up.

"Yo Kiran.nasa!!!
A Genuine University Degree in notime!
Have you ever thought that the only thing stopping you from a great job and betetr pay was a few letters behind you name?
Well now you can get them!
BA BSc MA MSc MBA PhD
Within notime!
No Study Required!
100% Veriifable!
These arer eal, genuine degrees that include Bachelors, Masters, MBA and Doctorate Degrees. They are fully verifiable and certified transcripts are also available.
Just call the number below.
Y
ou?ll thank me later?" - great! Now I don't have to prepare for my exam in medicine. And if some of my patients die, I'll blame John <522godart@linkssoft.nl>

"Salamu Alaykum

I am pleased to introduce a business opportunity to transfer to your overseas account the sum of($ 18.600 Million.USD) United States Dollars from one of the Prime Banks here in Dakar Senegal...
...I discovered that the owner of the account died long ago in a plane crash along with his family without leaving a[His/WILL], hence the floating of the funds and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing.
Therefore ,with a personal conviction of trust and confidence ,I wish to contact you as a foreigner, to stand as a relative because you share thesame surname with the decease's , thus I can work out the release of the funds..." - if it was real, and I agreed, I would be participating in a major crime, namely fraud.

"Does Size Matter'?
-----

60% of WOMEN said thay were UNHAPPY with their lover"s P* size!

Introducing the Newest. Safest, and Most Advanced
Solution in Pnis En1argment, Anywhere!" - I'm single, so why should I bother. Also, I would preffere to be loved over more than my, as they put it, "P* size"

"ADOBE ACROBAT 8.0 PROFESSIONAL $79.95
MICROSOFT WINDOWS XP PROFESSIONAL SP2 $49.95
ADOBE PHOTOSHOP CS2 V 9.0 $69.95
CORELDRAW GRAPHICS SUITE X3 $59.95
ADOBE CREATIVE SUITE 2 PREMIUM $149.95
MACROMEDIA DREAMWEAVER 8 $49.95
AUTODESK AUTOCAD 2007 $129.95
MICROSOFT WINDOWS VISTA BUSINESS $79.95
MICROSOFT OFFICE 2007 ENTERPRISE $79.95
START DOWNLOADING" - wonder what I would be downloading?

"WATCH OJU.F TRADE LIKE CRAZY ON FRIDAY!
THIS FRANKFURT STOCK IS GOING THROUGH THE ROOF!
COMPANY: ORAMED PHARMA
SYMBOL: OJU.F
PRICE: 0.65
TARGET: 2.15
WKN : A0J3FG
ISIN : US68403P1049
WE ARE PREDICTING AMAZING GAINS ON THIS ONE!
BE PART OF IT! ADD IT TO YOUR PORTFOLIO!
WATCH OJU.F ON FRIDAY APRIL 27TH!" - Or I could flush my money down the toilet and gain just as much


and a lot of porn.

Narmoth
2007-04-27, 12:22 PM
Ah the good old. "Hello this is [generic foreign country] give us some money and we'll give you more. This was due to a disaster, look we're genuine here is a link."
I have a new way of replying. First is to give their email to a sex site, second reply with an attachment with pictures of *things*. Also a good one is to get their message go to babel fish translator and run it through a few languages and return it.

They'd work better if it didn't say on the bottom, sent by yahoo! france.

My brother ran a long mailing with some nigerian guy, signing "Hestkuk Slapppeis".
In his last mail to this guy he wrote what the name really means in Norwegian, namely "the equipment of a male horse" "hanging male equipment"
strangely enough he didn't get a reply


My favorite are the ones where if you send them $10,000 they can somehow use that to unlock $150 million, which of course they are more than happy to split with you. I had no idea that there was so much money just sitting around doing nothing all over the world.

Interesting enough they want to put those $150 million on your account and then hope you give it over to them

Vazzaroth
2007-04-27, 12:34 PM
My spam isn't even trying anymore. The title reads: "SEXUALLY EXPLICIT! 231XV3" and I get about 5 of those a day.

Also, my famly e-mail gets ots of those "HI, REMEMEBR ME?! I'M (Geneic cheerleader name)! I WANT SEX YOU!"

My mom thinks I'm a pervert.

Rykaj
2007-04-27, 12:36 PM
I barely ever get spam, and I've had the same hotmail address for close to 10 years now. The spam I get are chainletters from gullible contacts. For the rest I guess I'm incredibly lucky. :)

Vonriel
2007-04-27, 12:41 PM
I have two accounts set up. One is my GMail account that only family knows, the other is a Yahoo account that I use for everything else. It's a fairly nice system, really, because I can just delete everything in the Yahoo account, and only pay attention to what's in the GMail one. :smalltongue:

Wiggle
2007-04-27, 02:32 PM
I actually play the UK lottery (am a UK resident, so all above board) and would love the National Lottery to send me a notifier of my massive winnings.

I think the only lottery I've won was 150 Million Rand in the South African Lottery - ooooh that was so tempting and so non-fake.

Yeah, right.

potatocubed
2007-04-27, 04:10 PM
I miss the good old days of spam, before all this 'customer profiling' nonsense. I once got a spam email trying to sell me industrial diamond-cutting equipment. If it hadn't been for the fact that I was fourteen and skint, I'd have gone for it, too.

What? It would be a talking point in the living room... :smallwink:

Thiel
2007-04-27, 04:17 PM
I remember those.
I was once offered a genuine Saturn 5 rocket.

Cyrano
2007-04-27, 04:35 PM
Hey, wull i don't get any spam, and i'm on gmail. :smallconfused: I have currently 0 spam emails. see?

ok maybe you sent an email to the wrong people, that's how you get spam. :smallsmile:

I don't SEND emails to anyone but myself. All my friends are plenty happy to talk to me on MSN, the real world, or...
*sniff*
here.

Yeah, I don't actually have any friends BUT ANYWAY no I don't send emails to anyone.

Dr._Weird
2007-04-27, 05:01 PM
I don't SEND emails to anyone but myself. All my friends are plenty happy to talk to me on MSN, the real world, or...
*sniff*
here.

Yeah, I don't actually have any friends BUT ANYWAY no I don't send emails to anyone.

You don't have friends? What kind of rates are you offering people?

Cyrano
2007-04-27, 08:11 PM
You don't have friends? What kind of rates are you offering people?

Free smack talk, a mocking every week, detestation of all of your tastes and a lack of physical violence.

TheThan
2007-04-27, 08:37 PM
I remember those.
I was once offered a genuine Saturn 5 rocket.


Ok that officially wins this thread… Move along, nothing to see here.

I don’t get much spam, what little I do get is in the letter format type and the non-prescription “male enhancement” crap, it all goes into my spam box and gets deleted quite regularly.

Exachix
2007-04-28, 02:10 AM
He heh heh.

I get too much spam.. I just delete it.

Thiel
2007-04-29, 04:30 PM
Ok that officially wins this thread… Move along, nothing to see here.

I don’t get much spam, what little I do get is in the letter format type and the non-prescription “male enhancement” crap, it all goes into my spam box and gets deleted quite regularly.

Wow, I won a thread. That's a first.
I received that mail way back when everybody talked NetScape 4.0

Shhalahr Windrider
2007-04-29, 10:21 PM
I'm surprised at the number of people giving me exclusive stock tips.
I don't even know how those are supposed to be comprehensible at all.


Also, you know about those ads for dating sites that show you a picture of some girl and a line of text underneath right?
What I love about those ads are the ones that use whatever network information they're able to glean out of your ip or whatever other network information they can get and then customize it to say, "Meet Hot Girls in the <insert your city name here>!" The great part is they always get my city wrong, consistently naming a small town on the other side of the city next door.


Of course, one of my favorite ads came from a few years ago. It was a pop up. A new window opened on my browser, completely unsolicited. In this new, unwanted pop up window, there was, of course, an advertisement. "What was the product being advertised in this utterly annoying pop up window?" you ask?

Why, software to block annoying pop up ads while on the internet!

...

...

Can you say, "Lacks credibility?" Sure, I knew you could.

Adlan
2007-04-30, 01:05 AM
I have actually won the Uk lottery. Took me a while to realise, and it was only a tenner (£10). The lottery will never, ever tell you that you've won. when you win, they just get to keep the cash for a roll over.

Shhalahr Windrider
2007-05-02, 07:17 AM
So, Adlan. You gonna share the wealth? Maybe buy everyone here a round or two? :smallwink:

Adlan
2007-05-03, 05:08 AM
Fat chance. I won it when I was 16.

Penguinizer
2007-05-03, 05:22 AM
Ive won 5 Euros in a scratch card... I bought another one with it XD. Or my dad bought...

We've also won 5-10 Euros in the Finnish lottery.

Vampiric
2007-05-03, 06:47 AM
I kept getting some emails on my Yahoo email informing me that my great-uncle's lawyer wanted some personal information because he was going to give me lots of money if I 'gave the correct personal information'. Fat chance.
And I also got this two-part one of some doctor-y guy who wanted my help, or something, or was taking a trip to some third-world country, and needed my assistance/had asked for me personally, etc. etc.

Thomorn_BattleFate
2007-05-03, 07:24 AM
Within a few weeks of my anti-spyware program running out, I was infected with adware. Everytime I openned Internet explorer, it would pop up a new window saying I was infected with Spyware, and I should purchase their product to remove it. Funny thing was that the company selling the removal tool, was the one that INFECTED MY COMPUTER IN THE FIRST PLACE! Why would I pay them a cent?!?

I got a free program from the net and removed it myself. Aint "Modern Internet Advertising Methods" grand?

p.s. FYI Canadian Lottery is tax-free. You win 10 Million, you keep 10 MILLION!

Jack Squat
2007-05-03, 09:39 AM
I just got this little gem


Dearest Friend,

I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from paraguay. Presently I'm in Paraguay for investment projects with my own share. Meanwhile,I didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how.

Now contact my secretary,his name is Mr. Frank EMAIL : (frankumar@yahoo.fr) you can reach him with this phone number 229-9391-3542 Ask him to send you the total $850.000 which I kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter. I appreciated your collective efforts at that time so feel free and get in touch with my secretary Frank and instruct him where to send your check Draft to.

Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness at that time.In the moment, I'm very busy here because of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand,finally,remember that i had forwarded instruction to the secretary on your behalf to receive that money,so feel free to get intouch with Frank without any delay.

Best Regards,
Mr Yusufu Haji


I feel pity for anyone stupid enough to actually believe this

Penguinizer
2007-05-03, 10:01 AM
Jack Squat, do you have any enemies to speak of?

Send them the particular enemys address :P

Gygaxphobia
2007-05-03, 10:47 AM
Gmail was excellent for about a year, but recently a Chinese chemist has tracked me down and is spying on me.
Now I get loads of scary emails from someone who thinks I have really small genitals and a terrible sex life.
How did he know?!

Supagoof
2007-05-03, 11:43 AM
I send the spam e-mails back with a picture of chuck norris about to sidekick. Surprisingly that stops a lot of them.

Seriously though, I just send a picture of me naked.....what? It cut down the number of spam. Now I just get a ton from some FBI.com place

Gmail - I love it. I get about 1 spam a day in it, but the "delete forever" really does that. Far better then yahoo, which has lie 40ish a day there, or hotmail which has 20ish a day there.

Yep, I just plain get a lot of spam. I've been informed that I have about infinity+ of target gift cards, ipods, xboxes, cash waiting in an african bank account, best buy gift cards, and new cars for me to claim. I'm holding out for a free house. It's coming, I can sense it.

Honestly, if they want me to have it, then they should send it via paypal. You can do that with any e-mail y'know.

Spam - too large a problem on too cheap a medium for it to be stopped completely. Build a better mouse trap, build a better mouse.

Korith
2007-05-03, 11:47 AM
When I went to check my Email today, the only new message went along the lines of this:



Yeah, of course I won the lottery I never even entered. Of course it makes more sence to tell me I won the UK lotto rather than the Canadian lotto. And of course, the fact that it never mentions my name doesn't seem to matter either, does it?

Needless to say, it really made me laugh.

What about you? Have you ever gotten rediculessly obvious SPAM messages?

Yep, I've been saving this one...it's very similar to the Norwegian Banker emails of internet legend:

--
Dear Friend,

I am Mr.paul leech Executive Director of the Hang
Seng Bank Ltd, taiwan.

I have a lucrative 44.5 Million USD Business proposal
for you, should be interested in executing this with me; indicate your interest by sending me the following:

1. YOUR NAME
2. YOUR RESIDENT ADDRESS
3. YOUR OCCUPATION
4. YOUR PHONE NUMBER
5. DATE OF BIRTH
6. COUNTRY OF RESIDENT

Your response with the requested information should be sent to reach me at my personal email address below:contact_paulleech@yahoo.com.tw (contact_paulleech@yahoo.com.tw).

I shall then provide you with more details on this
operation when I hear from you.

Sincerely,
Mr.paul leech.

--
Wippies-vallankumous on täällä! Varmista paikkasi vallankumouksen eturintamassa ja liity Wippiesiin heti!
http://www.wippies.com/

Penguinizer
2007-05-03, 12:23 PM
Korith...

You're Finnish?

I never get spam for some reason. Except from Skype spambots.

Korith
2007-05-03, 12:26 PM
Korith...

You're Finnish?

I never get spam for some reason. Except from Skype spambots.

No, but the email originator probably was.

Penguinizer
2007-05-03, 12:44 PM
ah, ok.

The add at the bottom confused me.

Kitya
2007-05-05, 09:34 PM
I've gotten all the obvious spams, the "Carry on this chain, and every email you send it to 25 cents will go towards whatever disease we're fighting today", the personal info, the Lottery, etc. The ones that scare me the most are the ones where you receive an email from a store (in my case it was Circuit City), saying that someone used my credit card to buy some items and they need to verify that it was me that made the purchases. Now, of course I had not made these purchases, but in the email here are these two things listed, complete with serial number and everything. Fortunately, I called Circuit City, rather than go to the website given, and was told that this was a scam that a LOT of people were falling for. I forwarded my email to our local news channel who has a guy that specializes in these things, and what do ya know? My email and someone else's made the 6 o clock news that night as a warning. A couple years later I received another one, different store this time, but still just as legitate looking as the first one, but since I recognized it that time, I just deleted it. The scary thing about them are that they have the store's logo and banner and everything. It looks very very real.

Oh, I also get a lot of spams offering me college degrees and seats for Oprah and other obviously fake things like designer purses. I don't even get to carry my NON designer purse around anymore! I'm always carrying a diaper bag. *laffs*

Mr. Moon
2007-05-05, 09:44 PM
I've actualy figured out how to bump up Yahoo's spam protection. Now pretty much everything gets filled away in my spam holder, which empties itself every two weeks. ^_^

Sometimes I check it out just to see if theirs anything funny. Like that famous "very rich person needs you to send him lots of money, and he will give you lots of money in return". Or the "we trust you will become a valued buisness partner" one. Of course, that makes so much sense. I'm a Canadian teenager with no training in the buisness world, let alone a credit history. Or a good one, at lest. :P

skreweded
2007-05-05, 09:44 PM
I personally use Gmail. I get a helluva lot of Spam. Too bad for them, it all goes back into the spam section. Mail:Spam? 187:5792. Too bad I have never read a bit of that spam.

Hell, before i hit 1000, i tried to sign up for spam to get to 1k. Now i wanna hit 10. Gmail, you have made me an 'after'!:smallamused:

Lingire stores. Getting out of "D3bt". True love in seven days. Business in a box. DO I WANNA BE ON THE OPRAH SHOW?? Ooh, a NEW sexually explicit dating website! Yo, free tones! Something from "atari".. It finally finds Newgrounds to be spam!

Cade Shadow
2008-01-30, 03:04 PM
You would be surprised how often I've been the 1,000,000th visitor on a website.

As e-mail goes, I have a fairly reliable spam filter. My spam : useful mail ratio is about 1:2 now. Used to be 20:1 or something.

I've been the one millionth visitor to the same site on two different days. I was really surprised.

JasonDoomsblade
2008-01-30, 06:21 PM
I was the 999 999th visitor on Photobucket and won a TimCard with $500 on it.

FoE
2008-01-30, 06:31 PM
A friend of mine once joked that, even though he gets dozens of e-mails telling him how he can increase the size of his (you know), he still has all these hot, young (and occasionally underage) girls e-mailing him to say how much they want to have sex with him. :smallbiggrin:

vivi
2008-01-30, 06:41 PM
When I used to play rune scape, I got to be the 100,000,000 visitor 3 times in one day:smalltongue:

The Extinguisher
2008-01-30, 06:54 PM
I won the UK Lottery once.

I didn't even know I was a citizen!

Shas aia Toriia
2008-01-30, 07:16 PM
I think I've been the 999,999th visitor to Goblins at least 12 times so far. :smalltongue:

potatocubed
2008-01-30, 07:19 PM
The best spam I ever got was from before the days of consumer profiling and suchlike. It was trying to sell me industrial diamond-cutting equipment.

If I ever suddenly find myself with a need to cut diamonds, I'm going to be kicking myself so much for not taking them up on their generous offer.

Jagg
2008-01-30, 08:19 PM
I never get spam on the work e-mail. there's a whole team of helpful people downstairs who man the firewall equivalent of the GREAT WALL OF CHINA. Nothing that's spam gets past the firewall. Mind you it also stops mates from sending you a picture of the fish they caught on the weekend, but you can't have everything...

I'm actually thinking it's time to update my home e-mail address. I get way too much spam.

JAGG

Shadow
2008-01-30, 09:00 PM
I'm pretty sure that everyone here has probably seen this already, but I still had to link it because it's absolutely freaking hilarious!

Red vs. Blue
Real life vs. the internet (http://youtube.com/watch?v=dqEvSJ8IQYk)

d'Bwobsling
2008-01-30, 09:17 PM
when I loged on to photobucket it said that I was the 10,000th person, and that it wasn't a joke

Raider
2008-01-30, 09:54 PM
Congrats on your luck I suppose.

I myself have been the winner of numerous 360s,timeshares, and cars.

I love this country

ForzaFiori
2008-01-30, 10:20 PM
i forget which site it was, but i used to long on once a day and EVERY TIME i was the 1,000,000th visitor.

the stupid thing was the site had one of those hit trackers, and it was well above 1,000,000 every time.

Paragon Badger
2008-01-30, 10:42 PM
I've really gotten the Prince from Nigeria ones. *rolls eyes*

But he told me it was 100% LEGAL!!! (http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/72.html) :(