ARCHANICA - Mecanotechnics Handbook: The last power source for 3.5

[Archanica]

http://i.imgur.com/2hZMaeam.jpg (http://imgur.com/2hZMaea)

Good evening, my friends.

I'm about launching an initiative to finally publish my RPG handbook I've been writing for D&D 3.5, the MECANOTECHNICS HANDBOOK. Official summary:

http://i.imgur.com/yuotYdjt.jpg (http://imgur.com/yuotYdj)


This was a really ambitious project and it took me more than 10 years to complete it, with very limited resources, so I think it's time to release it professionally.

I'll be posting previews of the new features my book contains almost daily, as well as other stuff, until by the end of month I'll oficially launch a crowdfunding campaign.

You can also follow me on Facebook and Twitter:
https://www.facebook.com/archanica
https://twitter.com/Archanica



Feel free to comment! :D

[Archanica]

And this is the schedule for our release of previews, we'll be posting new content on Facebook daily:

http://i.imgur.com/sVxtl5nm.png (http://imgur.com/sVxtl5n)

Head over to our Facebook page and let's make this THE MONTH OF MECANOTECHNICS :D

[Archanica]

What is exactly the MECANOTECHNICS HANDBOOK, and what's its CONTENT...?

http://i.imgur.com/pJDJqFCt.jpg (http://imgur.com/pJDJqFC)

Look at everything we have for you on our book with these new promos!!

http://i.imgur.com/9ZxYE1Rt.jpg (http://imgur.com/9ZxYE1R)


:D

[qazzquimby]

Does releasing professionally mean you're not interested in working in feedback? That usually happens before big openings.

Hopefully you get the attention you want. Amazing things appear on these forums semi-regularly, and things have to be pretty impressive to get a big response. Having lots of content to release might help, or might make it seem more like a wall to sift through.

What do you mean by "The last power source?" That will be really awkward next time someone makes a power source.

[Archanica]

Of course! We're interested in bringing our readers the best possible product :) There will be an extended period of testing to receive feedback and suggestions.

I know there are big obstacules to overcome if we want a "big response" but we'll do our best.

"The last power source", well... every product needs a tagline. There aren't many new power sources for 3.5 out there, and I think you can't go beyond the introduction of science :P


Thanks a lot for the interest, we'll keep on with the work :D Anything else? Don't be afraid to ask.

[qazzquimby]

Can you summarize what you do differently from things like Dragonmech and Chaositech? There is also a lot of technology homebrew, though the only large subsystem I can think of is gramarie.

[Archanica]

Can you summarize what you do differently from things like Dragonmech and Chaositech? There is also a lot of technology homebrew, though the only large subsystem I can think of is gramarie.
Dragonmech is more sci fi and mech-oriented in a post-apocalyptic-like setting, IIRC. Our book can be applied to any setting.

It's a generic handbook, so it's more of an accessory than anything. Imagine the Psionics Handbook only using science instead of psychic powers. We also bring some new races that keep on with the heroics/fantasy tone of general D&D, rather than creating a drastically different tone.

Chaositech has some magic/supernatural connections, while the technology of our book is completely mundane.


The system for Mecanotechnics is very complete and well developed, including different science fields for characters and lots and lots of cool options (you can see in the contents summary). It also feels like the most natural way to develop science. I think once you start seeing how everything's organized, you'll find it to make much sense :)

[qazzquimby]

Have you read gramarie? It's probably quite different from what you're doing, since it gives so much macro power to the player it's practically a world building tool, but it is almost without a doubt the most impressive system I've found in 3.5 (or possibly any system).

I'm about done with questions since actually seeing the content would be much easier, but since you're so quick to answer, and I have work to avoid doing, how much emphasis is there on device interaction and tweaking in the system? To demonstrate what I mean, drawing technology off a list with no augmentation would have none, some weapon enchantment style augments would have little, dragonmech style enhancement with amplifiers and discriminators and things would have quite a lot, and gramarie has virtually nothing but.

If you have no idea what I'm asking I can word that differently.

[Archanica]

Never heard of Gramarie. Hope my book doesn't look like an idiot next to it :P


To demonstrate what I mean, drawing technology off a list with no augmentation would have none, some weapon enchantment style augments would have little, dragonmech style enhancement with amplifiers and discriminators and things would have quite a lot, and gramarie has virtually nothing but.
There's an specific list of enhancements ("Upgrades") per machine, and you have to choose yours every level, like a wizard chooses the spells they know.

There are numerous features to combine machines and mix substances, so that's not much of a problem.

The game also features an alternate system of mecanotechnics, based around lesser devices that can combine with each others to create bigger machines. "Amplifiers" like the ones you say enter on this alternate system to a certain degree.


This MONTH OF MECANOTECHNICS the idea is simply giving you a taste of what the book contains, samples of the system will be shown later ;)

[Lord Raziere]

I'm interested.

but I cannot comment until I see something of substance.

[qazzquimby]

Can the alternate system work simultaneously with the main system, or are they exclusive?
I'll PM you about gramarie to stop clogging up your thread :p

[Archanica]

Can the alternate system work simultaneously with the main system, or are they exclusive?
I'll PM you about gramarie to stop clogging up your thread :p
I don't want to talk too much about the system right now (well, it's already protected by copyright, but my plan's not exposing it in detail yet XD).

I'd say the systems are mutually exclusive... kind of. As a player, you either pick one or the other, although different characters working with different systems can totally coexist. Just stay tuned, you'll learn more of that through the previews :P

[Quarian Rex]

Looks interesting. One thing that seems to be missing is a release date. When and where will it be available? Soon? DriveThuRPG?

[Archanica]

Looks interesting. One thing that seems to be missing is a release date. When and where will it be available? Soon? DriveThuRPG?
We'll launch a crowdfunding project by late July, hopefully, with the idea of publishing the handbook on March 2016 if everything goes right.

[faustin]

So, is like http://http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/ in D20?

[qazzquimby]

Hopefully this doesn't sound intensely negative, but what is the purpose of professionally publishing, when so many similar projects are distributed for free? So it can be made into physical books? Do people even buy physical books anymore?
Whether or not most of this work being free is right (I of course believe in people being rewarded for their efforts), you may have a hard time getting sales.

[Archanica]

So, is like http://http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/ in D20?
Ha ha, there's a little of that, I guess. But like we've said, this is not Steampunk or Victorian setting, it's fantasy just like regular D&D.


Hopefully this doesn't sound intensely negative, but what is the purpose of professionally publishing, when so many similar projects are distributed for free?
Our intention to present a professional work with digital design and quality artwork, and our resources are limited, so I guess free distribution it's not an option.
As for similar products, I don't think there's a book that is quite like this, we offer numerous new ideas and I can assure you there's a lot of work and thought put on our product.


So it can be made into physical books? Do people even buy physical books anymore?
Our aim right now it's a digital release so I guess probably not.


Whether or not most of this work being free is right (I of course believe in people being rewarded for their efforts), you may have a hard time getting sales.
I'm aware of that, the only thing we can do here is keep on with our work and promotion, and hope for the better.


It's up to you to support us, but even if you choose not to, I really appreciate people's taking the time to take a look of our project and give us their opinion :)

[Adam1949]

I'll probably take a look at this; if I like it, it'll be something to add to the collection of subsystems at the table for use along with Psionics, Binding, Mythos, and Martial Initiating!

[Archanica]

I'll probably take a look at this; if I like it, it'll be something to add to the collection of subsystems at the table for use along with Psionics, Binding, Mythos, and Martial Initiating!
Well, that's an honor :)


Today's update.

What is, exactly, MECANOTECHNICS?

http://i.imgur.com/TScJzV5t.jpg (http://imgur.com/TScJzV5)

[umbrapolaris]

the idea of the book seems quite good but to be honest:

1- if i have to pay for a book, i want check it from first to last page, before buying. i guess that will going to happen. :smallbiggrin:
2- with all the free (and non-free but can be get for free) stuff , it will be very hard for you to get serious incomes from it. i don't even mention homebrew sites like here...

now i realize the effort, time and resources you surely have put on it, so i can't blame you wishing get incomes from it.

in the case you don't get enough from it, in the future , you can do like people in computer software creation do: they give for free with a possibility of donation from the audience.

You will reach a wider audience and if they like they will donate.

[Archanica]

now i realize the effort, time and resources you surely have put on it, so i can't blame you wishing get incomes from it.
Well, the fact is this wouldn't be "income" at all. The book is entirely written in Spanish (my mother language) and most of the money would go to the English translation (because my English is far from perfect). That, considering the book is kind of lenghty, can be quite expensive. I won't be doing any money from this, just paying for the production costs.

[qazzquimby]

I was about to say "I could translate for you!" and then realized that kind of required speaking spanish. What if you ran it through an online translator and had someone reword to sound not terrible? I could help with that.

[Archanica]

The idea is to present the best quality possible so I would definitely go for a professional translator.

I already have someone with experience in professional RPG publishing.


Anyway, thanks for the offer to help, that means much to me :D

Maybe in the worst case I could do something using Google Translate, but that's definitely not the idea.

[Archanica]

Today's promo

MACHINES are the tools for mecanotech classes... What are their advantages and disadvantages?

http://i.imgur.com/XpxE7bft.jpg (http://imgur.com/XpxE7bf)

[Archanica]

What does it take to be a MECANOTECH HERO?? Discover a new landscape of heroes with today's update!

http://i.imgur.com/WoW6HZ6t.jpg (http://imgur.com/WoW6HZ6)

Tomorrow: Our first character class, and a surprise TOP SECRET ARCHIVE ;)

[Adam1949]

I cannot wait!

I don't suppose you have a rough price-guide as of yet?

[Archanica]

I cannot wait!

I don't suppose you have a rough price-guide as of yet?

No, not yet. Artwork will be austere (11 color pictures), around $600 dollars or so.

Graphic design I'll try to do most I can here but probably around $400 dollars.

And for the translation, I'll try to reach for a deal for the translation because it's really expensive.



BTW, tomorrow I probably won't be able to post in the forums, if you want to check the class I progranmed the new content to publish automatically on the Archanica RPG Facebook, at 5:00 pm.

[Amechra]

Jesus Christo, puedes cambiar el color de las letras? Rojo y amarillo es...

Oh wait, English forum. Right.

Anyway, I'm personally a bit lukewarm about your project (sorry) - I just hope you aren't going to be using that dark red on weathered yellow look. Because it's kinda painful to look at.

What dialect of Spanish is your native?

[Archanica]

I just hope you aren't going to be using that dark red on weathered yellow look. Because it's kinda painful to look at.
Mmmh, thanks for the advice. It sometimes depend on the configuration of your screen. In mine it looks right, I have to admit I raised a little the contrast so the letters could be readed more easily. You can also read the very same text in the FB page, right in the picture description, I apologize if that bothered you.

Anyway, next promos will be white over grey and black over white. Easier to read :)


What dialect of Spanish is your native?
Mexican.

[qazzquimby]

Your image host is inviting me to view "EXTREME PORN," so you might want to consider changing services.

[umbrapolaris]

Your image host is inviting me to view "EXTREME PORN," so you might want to consider changing services.

where ! where ! i dont get any :( :smallbiggrin:

[nonsi]

A nitpick: if "Mecano" spells out something that has to do with machines, then I suppose "Mechanotechnics" would be a more suitable name.

[Archanica]

Your image host is inviting me to view "EXTREME PORN," so you might want to consider changing services.
Wow, we had no idea of that. But done. We changed hosts, just in case.


A nitpick: if "Mecano" spells out something that has to do with machines, then I suppose "Mechanotechnics" would be a more suitable name.
We're giving this a thought, but in terms of visual harmonics... two "h"s would make the title look clunkier, and a little cacophonic to the eye (I don't think if that word can be used that way, but bueh).
Title's also a little too long already, so we prefer to go without that extra "h". Still, thanks for the suggestion, we might reconsider later, maybe.

[Palanan]

"Mecanotechnics" looks misspelled to me.

Either that, or something with an Aztec influence, which I'm not sure if you're going for. If this is for an English release, "Mechanotechnics" would be the proper form.

Also, I'm not sure if Homebrew is the appropriate subforum to advertise a new game supplement, since you're not actually posting content anyone can review.

[Archanica]

We proudly present you our first character class: INVENTOR, the ultimate scientist B|
http://i.imgur.com/nRMLtDVm.png (http://imgur.com/nRMLtDV)

Also, INVENTORS GUILD top secret archive associated, for expanded background:
http://i.imgur.com/P4lyX3Fm.jpg (http://imgur.com/P4lyX3F)
Bleed, eyes, BLEEED!!!


Just kidding. Here's plain text for you to read :)

The INVENTORS GUILD

In a world ruled by magic and superstition, the only way to stay alive is to stick together.

Magic is a millennial tradition and it offers numerous and
often instantaneous advantages over the practice of natural sciences, so it’s not to wonder why it usually flourishes in most civilizations much earlier than mecanotechnics.

The only way for mecanotechnics to survive is being treasured and kept safe by the group that appreciates it, until it finds a way to rise to the outer world. The Inventors Guild is an association of scientists and inventors that groups individuals
of different races and civilizations, across cities, regions and continents, dedicated to study and practice mecanotechnics with an agenda in mind.

For a rookie inventor, joining to the Guild is extremely convenient. Inside the Guild, beginners have access to academic mentors and lessons, and science libraries. They can join research projects from other members, or propose theirs. A membership also allows them to work in advanced laboratories in the development of their own projects, and they can buy supplies and technology components at affordable prices.

On the other hand, being part of the Guild also means being in debt with them. Fulfilling missions for the Guild when is needed, is mandatory for all members. The Guild’s rules also require its members not to associate with other organizations with opposing agendas, specifically the ones dealing with supernatural forces.


"Mecanotechnics" looks misspelled to me.

Either that, or something with an Aztec influence, which I'm not sure if you're going for. If this is for an English release, "Mechanotechnics" would be the proper form.
Bottomline, it's an invented term :p


Also, I'm not sure if Homebrew is the appropriate subforum to advertise a new game supplement, since you're not actually posting content anyone can review.
Is there a Kickstarter subforum or something? O.O

[Archanica]

We start with the first Inventor subclass: MECHANIC, the lord of gears and levers :D

http://i.imgur.com/ppHDQ7wm.jpg (http://imgur.com/ppHDQ7w)

[faustin]

I have a question: like in the case of alchemist or enchanters, why bother being one of them and spending your time (and XP) in the lab instead of having an NPC friend or a friendly supplier who provides you with the fruits of their labor ....by a reasonable price?

[qazzquimby]

I'm confused how constructive feedback can be given when you're only posting the fluff.

[Archanica]

I have a question: like in the case of alchemist or enchanters, why bother being one of them and spending your time (and XP) in the lab instead of having an NPC friend or a friendly supplier who provides you with the fruits of their labor ....by a reasonable price?
There's a couple things:
That's sort of explained in the Guild preview I released. Inventor Guilds try to protect their "secrets of science". Any inventor from the Guild is not allowed to sell any kind of machine or technology to others.
Of course there's still some alchemical substances that are regularly sold, but they're far less powerful than what we bring with this handbook. Some of them are also harder to use for mundane classes, sometimes you need to use a new skill similar to Use magic device, to try to activate and use correctly machines and substances.

I'm confused how constructive feedback can be given when you're only posting the fluff.
Well, excuse me but this month's solely dedicated to give previews and create some awareness of the project. On August I'll start giving you, right now I just try to start getting you into the idea of the book. Not sure if that's forbidden in this forum. And by the way, I've still received feedback from this and other forums and websites with the previews.

[Archanica]

Here's the second Inventor subclass: Enter the CHEMIST.

http://i.imgur.com/La6wTmBm.jpg (http://imgur.com/La6wTmB)

[qazzquimby]

Ah ok. I'll probably check less often, so if I don't respond when crunch is posted feel free to pm me. I don't think its forbidden here, but its something I've never seen before.

[Archanica]

Learn the role of mecanotechnics in RACES and CIVILIZATIONS with this new promo.

http://i.imgur.com/OOVZPB1m.jpg (http://imgur.com/OOVZPB1)

[Archanica]

Today we introduce you to our first character race: The ATLANTEANS, lords of ancient science.

http://i.imgur.com/SNil59om.jpg (http://imgur.com/SNil59o)

[Archanica]

The final inventor sub-class: ELECTRICIAN, who dominates the power of energies.

http://i.imgur.com/30oh4rem.jpg (http://imgur.com/30oh4re)

[Archanica]

Today we're adding our second playable race: KYRI, the society from the future.

http://i.imgur.com/wQhZYSmm.jpg (http://imgur.com/wQhZYSm)

[Debihuman]

What are the game mechanics that go with the descriptions? Why aren't they mentioned? It looks like you have never looked at anyone's previews before. All you are giving us is description out of context,which is nigh on useless for giving feedback. For example, Energy Familiarity seems like wasted verbiage for an an Electrician.

I recommend you look at Etherscope previews (there are several). Note that they show whole pages and have both crunch and fluff for their previews. http://www.goodmangames.com/WW17620preview.html.


Debby

[The_Doctor]

@bove:

Well, excuse me but this month's solely dedicated to give previews and create some awareness of the project. On August I'll start giving you, right now I just try to start getting you into the idea of the book. Not sure if that's forbidden in this forum. And by the way, I've still received feedback from this and other forums and websites with the previews.

And this is why.

[Archanica]

What are the game mechanics that go with the descriptions? Why aren't they mentioned? It looks like you have never looked at anyone's previews before. All you are giving us is description out of context,which is nigh on useless for giving feedback. For example, Energy Familiarity seems like wasted verbiage for an an Electrician.

I recommend you look at Etherscope previews (there are several). Note that they show whole pages and have both crunch and fluff for their previews. http://www.goodmangames.com/WW17620preview.html.


Debby
Thanks, we're still preparing the sample pages for our Indiegogo project that will publish by the end of this month.

For now we're only giving teaser previews :)

[Archanica]

Enter our second character class: MECH KNIGHT, The warlord of technology.

http://i.imgur.com/0X6kqIVm.jpg (http://imgur.com/0X6kqIV)

[Debihuman]

Can we assume the final write up won't have the BAB written up but shown in a chart? Because if not, it's redundant.

[qazzquimby]

The double post every day is spammy and clogs up the front page. I'm pretty sure rules indicate you're supposed to either reserve all posts you're using when you make the thread (which is designed for when you're posting more content than will fit in a post, which is not a problem here), or to edit the original or last post.

[Archanica]

Can we assume the final write up won't have the BAB written up but shown in a chart? Because if not, it's redundant.
Naturally.


The double post every day is spammy and clogs up the front page. I'm pretty sure rules indicate you're supposed to either reserve all posts you're using when you make the thread (which is designed for when you're posting more content than will fit in a post, which is not a problem here), or to edit the original or last post.
Alright, buddy :)

---------------------

Surprise Top Secret File: THE ORDER OF MECH KNIGHTS.

http://i.imgur.com/4T11nh1m.jpg (http://imgur.com/4T11nh1)

----------------------

And meet our third character race: Desert dwelling, military-oriented, perseverant, the ERRON.

http://i.imgur.com/51yJptTm.jpg (http://imgur.com/51yJptT)

----------------------

Third character class revealed: GUNSMITH.

http://i.imgur.com/LvhfUAhm.jpg (http://imgur.com/LvhfUAh)

----------------------

The first of the Gunsmith subclasses: MUSKETEER, precise and deadly.

http://i.imgur.com/L9dAj5Bm.jpg (http://imgur.com/L9dAj5B)

----------------------

Our fourth playable race. Psionic, fiery and imposing: FRIL, the Red Race.

http://i.imgur.com/6tLnbnMm.jpg (http://imgur.com/6tLnbnM)

----------------------

The second subclass of Gunsmith: The rampageous GUNSLINGER.

http://i.imgur.com/BAzVA1Cm.jpg (http://imgur.com/BAzVA1C)

----------------------

The final Gunsmith subclass: GRENADIER, the power of explosives.

http://i.imgur.com/hkyUvJwm.jpg (http://imgur.com/hkyUvJw)

----------------------

Our final character class, one of a kind: The TECHNICIAN.

http://i.imgur.com/Ndfe7fUm.jpg (http://imgur.com/Ndfe7fU)

----------------------

We end the week with our final character race: Greasy GREMLINGS.

http://i.imgur.com/tFj1C9Am.jpg (http://imgur.com/tFj1C9A)

But the Month of Mecanotechnics is still not over... What can be coming next?

----------------------

??

http://i.imgur.com/Jx1xCN0m.jpg (http://imgur.com/Jx1xCN0)


----------------------

More secrets of mecanotechnics disclosed: LOW SCIENCE and HIGH SCIENCE.

http://i.imgur.com/K92mNc8m.jpg (http://imgur.com/K92mNc8)


----------------------

??

http://i.imgur.com/SfLdoeem.jpg (http://imgur.com/SfLdoee)


----------------------

From our archives, now we tackle the options for MECANOTECH SETTINGS.

http://i.imgur.com/OjeokQrm.jpg (http://imgur.com/OjeokQr) http://i.imgur.com/1sXlIoem.jpg (http://imgur.com/1sXlIoe)


----------------------

??

http://i.imgur.com/NrHLrb9m.jpg (http://imgur.com/NrHLrb9)


----------------------

Final archive: ADVANCED TECHNOLOGIES.

http://i.imgur.com/ehEqQgWm.jpg (http://imgur.com/ehEqQgW)

[Quarian Rex]

I'm getting pretty excited to see the mechanics of this. It just pains me that you're not planning on making the book actually available till March.

[Archanica]

http://i.imgur.com/quxSrQrm.jpg (http://imgur.com/quxSrQr)


I'm getting pretty excited to see the mechanics of this. It just pains me that you're not planning on making the book actually available till March.
Thanks for the interest. I want to clear some things:

We'll be publishing, God's will, the main core of rules for free by the end of this month or first days of August, as a part of the samples for the crowdfunding project.

The main obstacle with the book is that it's a huge package and everything's written in Spanish. Translation will take time so we couldn't give it away instantly even if we wanted.

Third, our crowdfunding plan includes an early access reward for backers, that would mean the concents of the books in plain, probably within the first three months if the goals are reached. We'll take advantage of this to conduct extended testing of the book to receive feedback from our backers and solve potential problems until the public version is released.


We'll keep you informed :smallsmile:

[Nantuck0.husk]

As a consumer of your product and a graphic designer, please stick to the white and black pages over the yellow and red, after 2-3 hours of gaming through a screen that is going to go from very bright to painful to look at.
if you must go with the yellow pages, use them sparingly or lighten the yellow significantly.

That said, I'm very intrigued at your creation and I will be checking in when you throw some more information our way. I really like what I see. Especially the idea of being a mech knight.
Chainsaw specialist anyone?

[qazzquimby]

So community feedback and editing comes after the pre-release and the main release?

[Archanica]

As a consumer of your product and a graphic designer, please stick to the white and black pages over the yellow and red, after 2-3 hours of gaming through a screen that is going to go from very bright to painful to look at.
if you must go with the yellow pages, use them sparingly or lighten the yellow significantly.
Thanks, we're aware of that. Previews had a sort of accidented story, but we'll fix that for the crowdfunding samples (the ones that will include actual rules).


That said, I'm very intrigued at your creation and I will be checking in when you throw some more information our way. I really like what I see. Especially the idea of being a mech knight.
Chainsaw specialist anyone?
Thanks for the interest, I think all of our classes have something that can appeal to everyone :)


So community feedback and editing comes after the pre-release and the main release?
Yeah, this is our first professional attempt and rules are kind of complex so we'll do our best to fix everything, I'd go to say we can release for free one or two updated versions after the "official" release, for our backers.

Whatever. If you think interesting character classes were over...

Preview: Meet the OBSCURANTIST CLASSES (Alchemancer, Mecanophant, Hermeticon), they are supernatural replacements for the inventor classes, in case you want to keep a stronger fantasy flavor for your campaign world :)

http://i.imgur.com/UbWuMVmm.jpg (http://imgur.com/UbWuMVm)


---------------------

The Month of Mecanotechnics ends with a preview of our ADVANCED RACES :)

http://i.imgur.com/sIljCIbm.jpg (http://imgur.com/sIljCIb) http://i.imgur.com/zRJepCym.jpg (http://imgur.com/zRJepCy)

[Archanica]

ATTENTION
Exclusive Preview package coming really soon.
It's around 60 pages. Prepare to know the main rules for character races, classes, skills, feats, machines, technologies and more...

:D

[Archanica]

ARCHANICA proudly presents to you an Exclusive Preview of MECANOTECHNICS HANDBOOK. Unleash the power of machines, technologies and mecanotechnic heroes. Here you'll know the main mechanics of this full-fledged scientific power source for 3.5 and PF.

ENGLISH PREVIEW
http://bit.ly/1Oodj7D


PDF with clickable links. Hope you like it, pals!

[Archanica]

So, anyone's checked it? :) Any comment would be very valuable for us :D

[Debihuman]

Normally the OGL goes at the end of a product rather than the beginning. There's a lot of white space. Are there going to be pictures?

Page 5.

Footnote below chart doesn't seem to make sense as it's not linked to anything on that page. "Before growing old (check the race’s description)." I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean.

Page 6.

Atlantean should be capitalized as it is a place (Atlantis) rather than just a racial name. You should probably note that somewhere in the beginning.

In 3.5 it is not a "Walk" speed that creature's have, it is a base land speed.

You should put the New Ability Types BEFORE you use them. Put them before Atlanteans to make it easier to reference. What is an "Sb" ability? Psionic abilities are Supernatural "Su".

Sloppy use of apostrophe for prime symbol for feet throughout. I recommend spelling out feet or abbreviating it to "ft." Likewise, spell out 20-foot square, 100-foot cone, etc.


Change: "Electric Lantern (sheds light in a 100’ cone or 60’ radium..." to Electric Lantern (sheds light in 100-foot cone or 60-foot radius).

Page 8
If kyri is both singular and plural, you should mention it. Note: I am not a fan of this.

Kyri's hair is weird and overly complex. How do you even pronounce "sbibbles" ? Do you use this unit of measurement anywhere else other than in the race traits? Because if you don't, you should reconsider this. Also, is Kyri both the singular and the plural? If so, you should mention this in the first sentence. Do Kyri have ways to prevent creatures from cutting off all their hair? By the way 1/4 of an ounce is approximately 7 grams. Sbibbles are a ridiculously small measure of weight. 40 = 1/4 of an ounce? Who wants to calculate that out? A sbibble weighs approximately .175 grams or 175 milligrams.

Page 10

If erron is both singular and plural, you should mention it. Note: I am not a fan of this.

Page 12

Ditto for fril. Frils, errons, and kyris make a lot more sense.

Psionic spark should be Su not Sb.

Page 24
Why doesn't the gunsmith have Craft (weaponsmithing) as a skill? He needs to be able to make his own weapons apparently.

Debby

[Quarian Rex]

Hey there. I've been looking forward to this for months now and from the limited amount that I've seen I'm still quite excited. I like the direction that you're going in here (the seperate levels for machines and technologies, basing everything on the Craft skill instead of some odd spellcasting analog, etc.) but there are some things that seem to be causing difficulties.

The main problem seems to be your extremely tight integration of the fluff with the mechanics of the system. You are trying to make a universal system for fantasy technology and yet you are writing rules that cripple a character that is not specifically made within your setting. For example, the cost of creating machines and substances is tripled when the crafter is not part of your guild. That is absolutely insane. Most games that use these rules will not actually be based around this system. A player will be bringing this into an established setting due to generous DM permission to test out new possibilities. The character will most likely be some lone mad genius or a stranger from a strange land where the guild may technically exist but has no functional presence in the campaign world. To say that such a character needs to pay triple to access his class abilities is unaceptable and grossly warps any form of game balance.

When designing these classes you need to make sure that they are balanced in a vacuum. You need the classes to be fully playable without the DM having to bend over backwards trying to figure out how to put a machine shop on the 7th layer of hell just so a player can progress his class. This sort of thing is doubly restrictive for the Mech Knight since, as you have written it, he cannot learn any technologies, and loses access to his entire Initiation class feature, if he is cut off from his NPC superiors in the Order. This needs to be changed. This kind of restriction is not functional inside of an actual game.

Remember, you can have all kinds of benefits to being in the Guild, it just has to be logical and functional. If you want guild members to have a (reasonable) discount in machine creation, fine. Add a High Science machine that provides such a discount and then say that all guild outposts are set up with one. That way an unaffiliated/exiled Inventor can make his own when he gets to a high enough level, perhaps even starting a rival guild, etc. That way the party can try to take over a guild outpost to usurp those benefits for a while before the guild mounts a counter attack. Do not just wave your hand and say that guild members get a massive discount 'just because'. That's the kind of thing that those namby-pamby mage guilds try to get away with with their nonsensical 'Wish' spells. Don't be like them. Science needs to make sense (sort of).

Another thing that stood out as needing to be addressed were the Antimagic Skills of the Inventor class. I see what you're doing here but saying that men of science (even fantasy science) would deliberatly turn their back on knowledge, any knowledge, completely breaks the concept. Don't exclude the Knowledge skills. While science may not be able to find a physical basis for undeath it will study the hell out of it trying to find one. Remember, the Knowledge skills only really cover the lore in their field and the weaknesses of their associated creatures, not the application of occult powers. TL;DR - saying Inventors cannot manipulate the occult with Spellcraft and UMD = good. Saying that Inventors willfully ignore info on the weaknesses of the dragons, golems, undead, and other monstrosities trying to kill them in their world = bad.

Other than that I have to reserve judgement until I see some specific Machines and Technologies. While I like what I'm hearing about the upgrade system and such there is no way for me to judge it till I see more.

While I'm not sure how critical I've been sounding so far, just remember that I'm really excited to see the rest of this. It looks like you are on the right track, I just haven't seen enough to tell if it works yet.

[Archanica]

First of all thanks everyone for the feedback.


Normally the OGL goes at the end of a product rather than the beginning.
Really? I've seen it in the beginning of some books.


There's a lot of white space. Are there going to be pictures?
What I presented in the EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW is just the text of the rules. We have some pictures but we'll add along with all the graphic design but that would be for the final version, not the previews or samples.

The white space is used to separate the different sections of the book.


Page 5.

Footnote below chart doesn't seem to make sense as it's not linked to anything on that page. "Before growing old (check the race’s description)." I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean.
If you inspect carefully you'll notice the footnote refers to the number "1" next to the Fril's ability adjustment. They have +2 Str until they begin to grow old (feature's called "Red Dusk"), you have to check on the race descriptions for more information...


Page 6.

Atlantean should be capitalized as it is a place (Atlantis) rather than just a racial name. You should probably note that somewhere in the beginning.
Atlantean don't come from "Atlantis", in this case is just the racial name, there's no such a place called like that in our book... I could probably adjust the race's name to avoid confusing readers.

As for the races, there's much more background for all them in the book but we haven't translated that, we'll be saving it for the complete edition, we just put a few tidbits of background to give you an idea of what's the race about.


In 3.5 it is not a "Walk" speed that creature's have, it is a base land speed.
Sloppy use of apostrophe for prime symbol for feet throughout. I recommend spelling out feet or abbreviating it to "ft." Likewise, spell out 20-foot square, 100-foot cone, etc.

Change: "Electric Lantern (sheds light in a 100’ cone or 60’ radium..." to Electric Lantern (sheds light in 100-foot cone or 60-foot radius).

Well, sorry about that, it's my bad. I just want to make clear in the Spanish editions of D&D (mother language), feet are abbreviated as an apostrophe. I guess I forgot to correct that in some parts of the preview. Thanks for the clue.


You should put the New Ability Types BEFORE you use them. Put them before Atlanteans to make it easier to reference. What is an "Sb" ability? Psionic abilities are Supernatural "Su". Psionic spark should be Su not Sb.
Thanks for the suggestion, I want to make clear these text boxes I added are supposed to be similar to the "sidebar" section of the 3.5 PH.

And as for the "Su" abilities, yeah, my bad too, I forgot to translate that.


If kyri is both singular and plural, you should mention it. Note: I am not a fan of this.

Page 10

If erron is both singular and plural, you should mention it. Note: I am not a fan of this.

Page 12

Ditto for fril. Frils, errons, and kyris make a lot more sense.

Thanks a lot. Gonna fix that.


Kyri's hair is weird and overly complex. How do you even pronounce "sbibbles" ? Do you use this unit of measurement anywhere else other than in the race traits? Because if you don't, you should reconsider this. Also, is Kyri both the singular and the plural? If so, you should mention this in the first sentence.

Do Kyri have ways to prevent creatures from cutting off all their hair? By the way 1/4 of an ounce is approximately 7 grams. Sbibbles are a ridiculously small measure of weight. 40 = 1/4 of an ounce? Who wants to calculate that out? A sbibble weighs approximately .175 grams or 175 milligrams.
Alright. Going to check thatit.


Why doesn't the gunsmith have Craft (weaponsmithing) as a skill? He needs to be able to make his own weapons apparently.
Firearms are treated as machines and according to our system, machines don't require a skill check to be crafted, only have it on your "Known machines" list, just like spells.


The main problem seems to be your extremely tight integration of the fluff with the mechanics of the system. You are trying to make a universal system for fantasy technology and yet you are writing rules that cripple a character that is not specifically made within your setting. For example, the cost of creating machines and substances is tripled when the crafter is not part of your guild. That is absolutely insane. Most games that use these rules will not actually be based around this system. A player will be bringing this into an established setting due to generous DM permission to test out new possibilities.
Don't worry about this. The book actually contains a chapter for DMs to create the world of mechanotechnics that adapts better to their taste.
The main rules of costs we mention are based on the primary option, the "Guild" option, and they're recommended to contain a little whatever drastic changes machines and technologies can bring into the world, avoid extreme powergaming, among others.
But the chapter I'm talking about also includes other options that eliminate some restriction or let you combine magic and mecanotechnics through original character classes, in case you don't like too much advanced technologies in your game world.


Add a High Science machine that provides such a discount and then say that all guild outposts are set up with one. That way an unaffiliated/exiled Inventor can make his own when he gets to a high enough level, perhaps even starting a rival guild, etc. That way the party can try to take over a guild outpost to usurp those benefits for a while before the guild mounts a counter attack. Do not just wave your hand and say that guild members get a massive discount 'just because'. That's the kind of thing that those namby-pamby mage guilds try to get away with with their nonsensical 'Wish' spells. Don't be like them. Science needs to make sense (sort of).
Don't worry about that. The Guild has rules. They're better explained in the chapter I'm talking about :smallsmile:


Another thing that stood out as needing to be addressed were the Antimagic Skills of the Inventor class. I see what you're doing here but saying that men of science (even fantasy science) would deliberatly turn their back on knowledge, any knowledge, completely breaks the concept. Don't exclude the Knowledge skills. While science may not be able to find a physical basis for undeath it will study the hell out of it trying to find one. Remember, the Knowledge skills only really cover the lore in their field and the weaknesses of their associated creatures, not the application of occult powers. TL;DR - saying Inventors cannot manipulate the occult with Spellcraft and UMD = good. Saying that Inventors willfully ignore info on the weaknesses of the dragons, golems, undead, and other monstrosities trying to kill them in their world = bad.
You make some great points here, we'll DEFINITELY reconsider changing that.

As for the machines and technologies, you can wait for our complete SAMPLE PACK very soon, as it will contain a selection of Level 1-2 machines and substances, as well as some Level 1 technologies. Or if you're curious enough, the Spanish EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW already included that (albeit in Spanish, obviously; sorry, we couldn't translate all that before the end of the year).


Thanks a lot, guys!! :smallsmile:

[Archanica]

IMPORTANT.

Dear Audience:

We're still calculating the costs for the funding and it's more than USD$10,000, which we guess can be a hard goal to reach.
So, we're considering to propose a stripped down version of the MECANOTECHNICS HANDBOOK instead, with less material and less pages (right now it's 530 pages), to make sure we roach our goal.
It could be a letdown but we're insecure about because we don't see a response to the project.

Tell me, what do you think? The clock keeps moving... YOUR OPINION IS VITAL FOR THIS PROJECT.

(The image below corresponds to the FULL EDITION material)

http://i.imgur.com/ohTlRsk.png


CONTENT INDEX FOR THE FULL EDITION:

http://i.imgur.com/aUMyotA.png

[Debihuman]

Personally, I find treating firearms as machines to be a very bad concept. It isn't intuitive and makes a core skill obsolete, which is not going to be fun for characters that take ranks in Craft (weaponsmithing). I never like sourcebooks that purposefully change mechanics for no good reason. Unfortunately, this means I wouldn't be able to give this project a good review. The more compatible with the core books a project is, the more interest it will generate as it appeals to the widest audience.

I sympathize with your plight but from what I can see this project is nowhere near ready. You still have a lot of editing and proofreading to do.

The cost vs. the number of people who'd be willing to pay for this does not look so good. You are competing with existing products already such as Etherscope, DragonMech, Iron Kingdom (the D20 version is available as a PDF) and OGL Steampunk, etc., which are easier to import into existing campaigns. Even Eberron has mechanics that compete with your concepts. And when someone looks for bombs and other technology related stuff on Pathfinder online (all of which is free online), they aren't likely to feel compelled to buy your product. In today's market, you need to be aware of the things that already exist, especially since you post bland teasers.

There are numerous gunslinging classes from established 3rd party publishers and mad inventors are hardly new. You need people to be wowed by your gunslinger, and you are missing that mark thus far.

Did you even read your race descriptions? Ugh. There was nothing eye-catching there. You need to make the descriptions dynamic.

The biggest obstacle that I see is that you are coming late to the game and aren't bringing your "A" game with you. The project isn't eye-catching and the language is clunky in spots. This isn't ready for public consumption.

Have you posted on other gaming site? What kind of feedback are you getting?

Debby

[Archanica]

First of all thanks a lot for the comments.


The cost vs. the number of people who'd be willing to pay for this does not look so good. You are competing with existing products already such as Etherscope, DragonMech, Iron Kingdom (the D20 version is available as a PDF) and OGL Steampunk, etc., which are easier to import into existing campaigns.
I'm aware there's a lot of professional competition out there, and maybe my ideas won't "wow" everyone, but I believe I'm doing something cutting-edge here: An all-encompasing system to develop and use technology, so I distinguish a little my book from the competition. And I think my book will be by far the easiest one to import into existing campaigns since that is the main idea.

As for the firearm rules, I'm no longer treating them as machines in the stricter term, but I agree with your indications and I can definitely understand your idea of changing the mechanics.


Even Eberron has mechanics that compete with your concepts. And when someone looks for bombs and other technology related stuff on Pathfinder online (all of which is free online), they aren't likely to feel compelled to buy your product.
I don't see that as much of a problem, considering in different books (all of them compatible) there's always different options, for "magic", for example, which compete each other. The warlock, to name something.
And I honesty think my sistem is appealing since it offers a higher degree of combination and customization of machines and science weapons along with a more familiar system of development and creation.


There are numerous gunslinging classes from established 3rd party publishers and mad inventors are hardly new. You need people to be wowed by your gunslinger, and you are missing that mark thus far.
Agree on that too. Let's see what we can do.


Did you even read your race descriptions? Ugh. There was nothing eye-catching there. You need to make the descriptions dynamic.
Well, I know I'm not the best writer, but thanks for the feedback.


The biggest obstacle that I see is that you are coming late to the game and aren't bringing your "A" game with you.
Yes, that is XD


The project isn't eye-catching and the language is clunky in spots. This isn't ready for public consumption.
It's been a long since we posted the teasers, and circumstances were not the best one for some of them (sorry if my English is not working right here, but I have a translator for official release). We have more promo and sample material already prepared but we're waiting the right moment to release it, along with the funding project.

And it looks like you're judging the book only by the teasers, my question here is: Have you checked the Official Preview I've posted, with the main "crunch" rules?


Have you posted on other gaming site? What kind of feedback are you getting?

Debby
You've been my only feedback so far. Thanks a lot.

[Quarian Rex]

Don't get discouraged by Debi. There is always a market for quality work. Worried that there hasn't been more buzz about the project? That is a side effect of there being so little useful info and the extreme length of time between updates. And remember, these are the homebrew forums. People come here to find interesting things that they can actually use in a game. As of right now you you haven't presented anything usable and so there has been little feedback/hype.

What you have released so far shows promise (it looks like it might be fairly comprehensive and like a lot of thought has gone into it) but here we are nine months after your initial announcement and I still have no idea whether you have a valid subsystem or not. Everything released so far has essentially been fluff and what rules have been revealed are just a very limited amount of support material, nothing to show whether you have something actually playable.

As an analogy, this is almost as if you were responsible for releasing the magic system and magic classes for the 3.5 Player's Handbook. You have given us info on the Wizard and Sorcerer classes, provided a spell list summary, and even provided the section on how to copy spells into a spellbook. But you haven't shown a single spell yet. Or meta-magic feats, or the magic item list, or anything else. Wizards and Sorcerers are useless and uninteresting without their spells. Inventors are useless and uninteresting without their tech.



We have more promo and sample material already prepared but we're waiting the right moment to release it...

The right time to release that was last August when you laid the expectation in July. Like I said, it has been nine months since the announcement and I still have absolutely no idea whether or not you have a valid system. Even looking at what you have provided so far it looks like you will need some heavy tweaking on some things. Everything I said in my previous post still stands. If you want to make a successful supplement you need to make sure that it is accessible to as many campaigns as possible (this is your stated intention after all) and yet your tight integration of the Guild with the mechanics of the classes forces the GM to make massive alterations to his campaign world to accommodate a single player. I know that you said there are options in the campaign section for GMs to remove Guild influence but you have it backwards. Provide the GM with options to restrict things if they so wish. Do not start with the restrictions. Remember, there were options to make Sorcerers learn their spells from dragons and outsiders and such, but those were not part of the base mechanics of the class for a reason. Even beyond that you need to be careful of feat bloat (you have the Two-Weapon Shot and Improved Two-Weapon Shot feats that are already covered by the Two-Weapon Fighting and Improved Two-Weapon Fighting feats) and such.

If you want to do this right I would suggest taking a note from Dreamscarred Press and posting an open beta like they have done with Path of War (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?444869-Dreamscarred-Press-Path-of-War-Expanded!-%28Thread-VII%29), Akashic Mysteries (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?409134-Dreamscarred-Press-Presents-Akashic-Mysteries-Thread-2) and Arcforge (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?452172-Dreamscarred-Press-Presents-quot-Arcforge-Technology-Expanded-quot). Post the crunch of your system (Classes, Skills, Arsenals, Technologies, etc.) and let people find the weaknesses while you hold back on the fluff and campaign elements. They will get excited about it and you will come out of it with a much better product. You might be worried about this seeming like you are releasing your work for 'free' but it has only helped Dreamscarred's sales, and for good reason. By the time they release something it is some of the most well tested, well balanced, and thoroughly polished material available for the game. And geeks are willing to pay for that, even if they have been playtesting it for months already. Remember, GMs are sketchy about homebrew but tend to allow 3rd party material. We all know that having the finished book means that we might actually get to play the neat new thing we found.

And please give a slap to whoever is giving you marketing advice. Having a minor teaser campaign followed by dead silence is a great way for people to have their interest peaked, get bored, and then forget about you. Don't tell people that you have an idea. Everyone has ideas. No one gets excited about ideas. Show us that you can make your idea a reality. Then we can get excited. Don't wait for the right moment. That moment was last August. That moment is now.

[Archanica]

Thanks a lot for the comments, Quarian Rex, the problems in the marketing obey to different things but I have to apologyze because of the "big silence", that's entirely up to me and a few mostly fortunate circumstances, getting new jobs that require most of my attention while I had to put this as a side project.

As for the idea of an open Beta, the idea sounds good but the main problem is that we don't have the text in English, only in Spanish, and the translation can be expensive. And well, the Spanish RPG market is different to the international market and not too open to new systems, our attempts to sustain betas with said market have not worked.
But your suggestion is great, I had been planning the extended Beta to be an "early access" reward for backers, but you are right on your thoughts, I'll discuss with my partners the idea of making it open to everyone, that way we might have better results.

Thanks a million, guys, your ideas are really REALLY valuable.

[Quarian Rex]

Glad to hear about new job goodness. No need to apologize on that front, just remember that it has an effect on feedback and such.

A benefit of the open beta would be that by releasing only the crunch you would need less initial translation. Look at spells, most of the info is in the statblock whose base template can be copy/pasted. The actual text of the Arsenals/Technologies could be translated by you (seriously, your english is good) with any mistakes corrected by community feedback. The more costly bits of translation are going to be with the fluff and campaign bits to make sure that tone and such are carried over. Text for the mechanics can be much more basic, and indeed should be to make sure that the rules are clear.

Just some thoughts. And I'm still really looking forward to this.

[Archanica]

Glad to hear about new job goodness. No need to apologize on that front, just remember that it has an effect on feedback and such.

A benefit of the open beta would be that by releasing only the crunch you would need less initial translation. Look at spells, most of the info is in the statblock whose base template can be copy/pasted. The actual text of the Arsenals/Technologies could be translated by you (seriously, your english is good) with any mistakes corrected by community feedback. The more costly bits of translation are going to be with the fluff and campaign bits to make sure that tone and such are carried over. Text for the mechanics can be much more basic, and indeed should be to make sure that the rules are clear.

Just some thoughts. And I'm still really looking forward to this.
Thanks. And well, I still have to test if we have a big enough audience to justify an open beta, you know, I came to notice people usually cares more for a book project when they can already donate and demand a good work.

The idea here would be opening a beta after the funding is completed, and only for the backers, I think it wouldn't be fair that people who didn't donate for the book get the rules just for free, that could discourage people from donating.

And well, this is... well, let's say top secret, but this is an advance of the stat blocks format we plan to handle for machines:

http://i.imgur.com/OwF2Xzy.jpg

[GnomeWorks]

You are competing with existing products already such as Etherscope, DragonMech, Iron Kingdom (the D20 version is available as a PDF) and OGL Steampunk, etc., which are easier to import into existing campaigns.

Not to mention Steamworks from 12 to Midnight, Steam & Steel by Fantasy Flight, and The Fantastic Science by EN Publishing.


this is an advance of the stat blocks format

...okay, honestly? That's basically unusable, both from a form and a function standpoint.

Form: a lot of people play on paper. How do you expect them to transcribe this information onto a sheet, or even free-hand onto just a regular piece of paper? You have a ton of information in a presentation that is completely unlike anything I've ever seen used in a d20 product, on top of complex mechanics.

Function: Um... lots.


"...and a +2 additional bonus." What kind of bonus is that? Did you intend it to be untyped?
Why are you getting skill checks involved in these effects, with ludicrously low DCs for something that looks like it's ostensibly for... a 1st-level character? I can hardly read your layout. Skill checks to use primary class features - which, you're writing a tech-based set of classes, the tech is the draw here - is not cool. I realize you might think it's flavorful, but they got rid of Scry as a skill for a reason.
Traction Disk again, still... the line about a Reflex save, in parens. What is that all about? Why is there a Reflex save? What is this tied to?... oh wow, I see, so not only do you require a skill check to use this thing, you make the PC have to make a Reflex save against their check or take damage? We're two rolls into this ability's resolution already, and we haven't even gotten to the actual attack roll! (I left my initial confusion there as an example of confusion over the layout here).
I'm going to go ahead and assume that you didn't think that balancing mechanics with money was a good idea (I bring this up because you have things here with gp costs listed). Because it isn't. Do some research on the concept of the "Wish economy" to understand why in more detail.
"...prevents targets from trying to trip you on a failed trip attempt as a free action." What, exactly, does this mean? Are you trying to say that failing to trip a creature does not allow that creature a free trip attempt against you in return? Because that... ah, okay, language-bits are dangling here, that's what's going on. You need a better editor or translator. Just copy-pasta the text from Improved Trip for this, it'll be way clearer.
Everything about "Sticky Band" is horrible. No idea what kind of bonus this is. Creatures have to make skill checks to "stand up without being stuck again"? I don't even know what that means.
"Finger Control" is a bad ability. Letting characters use skills in checks opposed by attack rolls is a very, very bad idea.

[qazzquimby]

Please thoughtfully consider: I suggest translating to English non-professionally, and releasing to the playground for free. If the content is interesting enough, people might be interested in improving it themselves. This is how I see the project becoming the most valuable. Given that it has so much quality competition and isn't getting terrific reviews from this thread, I think developing it into something impressive independently might be insurmountable.

Or, at the very least: Rather than posting things that have obviously taken considerable work, to have reviewers find things fundamentally wrong with it, work with the playground during development. The degree to which this would work partially depends on the degree to which you're willing to release the content here.

Hopefully I'm not out of line or anything. People should speak over me if I'm wrong.

[Archanica]

Thanks for the comments.


Form: a lot of people play on paper. How do you expect them to transcribe this information onto a sheet, or even free-hand onto just a regular piece of paper? You have a ton of information in a presentation that is completely unlike anything I've ever seen used in a d20 product, on top of complex mechanics.
There will be special log sheets for the characters, something like this:
http://i.imgur.com/qGdCwuD.jpg


"...and a +2 additional bonus." What kind of bonus is that? Did you intend it to be untyped?
First of all: All 4 "sub entries" marked with numbers are upgraded functions for the machine, just in case someone got confused here.
Sorry if the sheet doesn't make it clear but format is supposed to be explained in another part of the book (which is, indeed, present in the "text only" sample pack), this one's actually just a sample of the digital format used only for show (in matters of how the book is going to look like). The next Sample Pack (already finished) contains the whole explanation on how to read machine and upgrades entries.
Again, apologies if I didn't include the whole context for you to interpret the sample sheet.

And well, as for the "... +2 additional bonus". It's just a bonus provided by the machine because of its design, I think that's not always specified when it comes to objects, for example in the ranseur in PHB1 if simply says it provides you with a +2 bonus for disarm and trip attempts, doesn't specify the kind of bonus.


Why are you getting skill checks involved in these effects, with ludicrously low DCs for something that looks like it's ostensibly for... a 1st-level character? I can hardly read your layout. Skill checks to use primary class features - which, you're writing a tech-based set of classes, the tech is the draw here - is not cool. I realize you might think it's flavorful, but they got rid of Scry as a skill for a reason.
I'm not sure what you mean, but the DC checks are low because they're indeed for 1st level characters.
An inventor character is going to have it easy to use special attacks depending on the skill because they're already proficient with machines they crafted by themselves, while non-trained characters which are using Low Science machines (treated as exotic weapons) are going to have it a little harder.


Traction Disk again, still... the line about a Reflex save, in parens. What is that all about? Why is there a Reflex save? What is this tied to?... oh wow, I see, so not only do you require a skill check to use this thing, you make the PC have to make a Reflex save against their check or take damage? We're two rolls into this ability's resolution already, and we haven't even gotten to the actual attack roll! (I left my initial confusion there as an example of confusion over the layout here).
Well, I apologyze for the confusion, the description of the weapon and special attack was indeed longer but we reduced it a bit to fit it better into more compact stat blocks. It's clear this is not working out quite well. I'll be more careful with that after this, gonna ask for more opinions before going forward with descriptions so we can complete it better.
About the special attack, I think you may be right, doing two rolls in order to see the outcome of the attack might be too much. But it's important to limit the ease of performing it for non-proficient characters. I guess we can simply put the skill check as a requirement for non-proficient characters, while a proficient character can perform the attack without having to perform a skill check first. That's going to work better.


I'm going to go ahead and assume that you didn't think that balancing mechanics with money was a good idea (I bring this up because you have things here with gp costs listed). Because it isn't. Do some research on the concept of the "Wish economy" to understand why in more detail.
OK, gonna check that.


"...prevents targets from trying to trip you on a failed trip attempt as a free action." What, exactly, does this mean? Are you trying to say that failing to trip a creature does not allow that creature a free trip attempt against you in return? Because that... ah, okay, language-bits are dangling here, that's what's going on. You need a better editor or translator. Just copy-pasta the text from Improved Trip for this, it'll be way clearer.
It means that you can cut the rope as a free action so you won't be subject of a trip attempt after you failed. And don't blame on the translator here, my initial phrasing was not clear enough.


Everything about "Sticky Band" is horrible. No idea what kind of bonus this is. Creatures have to make skill checks to "stand up without being stuck again"? I don't even know what that means.
OK, I thought it was pretty clear. The bonus is because of the material and nothing more, not sure if there's a kind of bonus linked to that.
A tripped opponent who is in the floor shall make an Escape Artist check in order to get up and not being stuck again (as they were stuck with the initial tripping).


"Finger Control" is a bad ability. Letting characters use skills in checks opposed by attack rolls is a very, very bad idea.
Well, if you think so, we may revamp the mechanics of Finger Control for the final release.


Please thoughtfully consider: I suggest translating to English non-professionally, and releasing to the playground for free. This is how I see the project becoming the most valuable. Given that it has so much quality competition and isn't getting terrific reviews from this thread, I think developing it into something impressive independently might be insurmountable.
Or, at the very least: Rather than posting things that have obviously taken considerable work, to have reviewers find things fundamentally wrong with it, work with the playground during development. The degree to which this would work partially depends on the degree to which you're willing to release the content here.
Not trying to be rude or anything, but I think there's no chance of doing non-professional translation. Amateur takes a lot longer and it's not easy to find anyone willing to do it for no money, also things get messier when you have different people working in the project in an informal way.
I, for myself, have the commitment to coordinate everything to make it work, and we have devised ways to do it so.

In the draft for our project we make clear that we're going to coordinate extended testing to receive feedback from backers, so everything that players might find problematic may be fixed before the official release. But first thing we need is a little support for the translation; after that, everything's going to be easier.


Hopefully I'm not out of line or anything. People should speak over me if I'm wrong.
Not at all, man. Really really appreciated.


Bottomline: I apologyze. We are no professional writers and this is our first try, so the start may be a little rocky, but we're committed to improve and solve any problem and our schedule is going to allow us to take and implement all kinds of feedback. Almost everything's subject to change if someone's not convincing enough.

Thank you everyone for the feedback, you're helping a lot to keep us on check.

[qazzquimby]

I've never done a massive translation or anything, but I would do this:

1. Find all keywords in spanish and find/replace with the keyword in English.
2. Use an online translator to hard translate everything.
3. Edit to be comprehensible and fit game terms.
4. Edit to be polished.

Somewhere between 4 and 5 release to playground.

The attention you've got so far is more than I would have expected, and rather than risking it fizzling out, I think you should try to build a community of editors and contributors. That will naturally happen if really interesting content is posted here (there are many great examples).

Anyway, good luck with whatever you do.

[Archanica]

Thank you.

[GnomeWorks]

There will be special log sheets for the characters, something like this:
http://i.imgur.com/qGdCwuD.jpg

Having a prebuilt sheet is well and good, but again, this is a lot of information for someone to put down on a piece of paper. I don't recall the last time I had a player that used a prebuilt sheet; I know one of my current players is using a single sheet of regular printer paper.


And well, as for the "... +2 additional bonus". It's just a bonus provided by the machine because of its design, I think that's not always specified when it comes to objects, for example in the ranseur in PHB1 if simply says it provides you with a +2 bonus for disarm and trip attempts, doesn't specify the kind of bonus.

As a counterpoint, from the SRD: "If you drink antitoxin, you get a +5 alchemical bonus on Fortitude saving throws against poison for 1 hour."

Items do not always give untyped bonuses.

I would argue that the existence of untyped bonuses is bad design, but that's a bit beyond the scope here... I suppose since this is an actual item you have to hold, you won't run into the stacking problem that spell buffs would. I still don't like it, but it's not wrong or inconsistent with the rest of d20, so... whatever, I guess.


I'm not sure what you mean, but the DC checks are low because they're indeed for 1st level characters.

...sigh.

Okay. So now let's take a look at a 20th-level $tech-class. He still has to make a DC 15 Sleight of Hand check to use this device in this way, despite that check either being (1) difficult because he still has no ranks in it, or (2) laughable because he has enough ranks in it to not care.

But wait! The Reflex save DC to avoid cutting yourself for 1d4 damage (kind of a big deal at 1st, laughable at 20th) is equal to the check result. This means that your goal in using this device is to get a bonus such that you always make the check, but by as little as possible. That is patently absurd. The better you are at being sneaky and deft with your hands, the harder it is to avoid cutting yourself? That is some backwards logic, and makes no sense from a versimilitude standpoint.


An inventor character is going to have it easy to use special attacks depending on the skill because they're already proficient with machines they crafted by themselves, while non-trained characters which are using Low Science machines (treated as exotic weapons) are going to have it a little harder.

I fail to see why a Proficiency feat would obviate skill checks? Unless your feats are weird.


About the special attack, I think you may be right, doing two rolls in order to see the outcome of the attack might be too much. But it's important to limit the ease of performing it for non-proficient characters. I guess we can simply put the skill check as a requirement for non-proficient characters, while a proficient character can perform the attack without having to perform a skill check first. That's going to work better.

...is there any particular reason you feel it necessary to punish a lack of proficiency more than it is already punished by standard Proficiency rules?


It means that you can cut the rope as a free action so you won't be subject of a trip attempt after you failed. And don't blame on the translator here, my initial phrasing was not clear enough.

"Cut the rope." What rope? You mean the thing in the flavor text? Because it's mentioned literally nowhere in the rules text of this machine. There is no reason that "cutting the rope as a free action" has any effect whatsoever on anything, because you have not described why that matters, or even the fact that there is a rope. Flavor text is not rules text, yo.


OK, I thought it was pretty clear. The bonus is because of the material and nothing more, not sure if there's a kind of bonus linked to that.

Alchemical, most likely. But again, most bonuses have types, to avoid bonus-stacking and to avoid rolls flying off the RNG. So most likely it does not particularly matter what kind of bonus it is, just so long as it has one.


A tripped opponent who is in the floor shall make an Escape Artist check in order to get up and not being stuck again (as they were stuck with the initial tripping).

Okay, this seems like a language problem. "and not being stuck again" is a completely unnecessary clause in this sentence. Just saying "The target must succeed on a DC 15 Escape Artist check to stand" is sufficient.

But then, as I write that, I have no idea what kind of action the target has to spend to do that. You should maybe include one.


Well, if you think so, we may revamp the mechanics of Finger Control for the final release.

Well okay then.

[Archanica]

Having a prebuilt sheet is well and good, but again, this is a lot of information for someone to put down on a piece of paper. I don't recall the last time I had a player that used a prebuilt sheet; I know one of my current players is using a single sheet of regular printer paper.
Rules of machines are not as complicated as spells, because machines are usually simple weapons with a few special properties. I devise the log sheets to just take note of a few keywords. But if you think so, I guess we can make the space for properties bigger and fit three spaces for machines per sheet instead of four :)


Okay. So now let's take a look at a 20th-level $tech-class. He still has to make a DC 15 Sleight of Hand check to use this device in this way, despite that check either being (1) difficult because he still has no ranks in it, or (2) laughable because he has enough ranks in it to not care.
You are right on that. We will change it, then, to make everything smoother.


But wait! The Reflex save DC to avoid cutting yourself for 1d4 damage (kind of a big deal at 1st, laughable at 20th) is equal to the check result. This means that your goal in using this device is to get a bonus such that you always make the check, but by as little as possible. That is patently absurd. The better you are at being sneaky and deft with your hands, the harder it is to avoid cutting yourself? That is some backwards logic, and makes no sense from a versimilitude standpoint.
It's not to prevent cutting yourself, the opponents in the line of attack must do a Reflex check to avoid receiving the 1d4 damage.
So, I guess you were right, compressing the description of the machine made the writing very confusing.


I fail to see why a Proficiency feat would obviate skill checks? Unless your feats are weird.
Well, you're right, they may sort of overlap.


...is there any particular reason you feel it necessary to punish a lack of proficiency more than it is already punished by standard Proficiency rules?
Using the more special functions of machines should be a little harder than the regular ones, but as I said above you're right and we can make it smoother.


"Cut the rope." What rope? You mean the thing in the flavor text? Because it's mentioned literally nowhere in the rules text of this machine. There is no reason that "cutting the rope as a free action" has any effect whatsoever on anything, because you have not described why that matters, or even the fact that there is a rope. Flavor text is not rules text, yo.
OK... shame on me again, then.


Alchemical, most likely. But again, most bonuses have types, to avoid bonus-stacking and to avoid rolls flying off the RNG. So most likely it does not particularly matter what kind of bonus it is, just so long as it has one.
I don't know if a regular glue substance can be considered alchemical... more like "chemical" maybe?


Okay, this seems like a language problem. "and not being stuck again" is a completely unnecessary clause in this sentence. Just saying "The target must succeed on a DC 15 Escape Artist check to stand" is sufficient.
Fine.


But then, as I write that, I have no idea what kind of action the target has to spend to do that. You should maybe include one.
Okay. Gonna check that again.


Thank you very much.

[GnomeWorks]

Rules of machines are not as complicated as spells, because machines are usually simple weapons with a few special properties. I devise the log sheets to just take note of a few keywords. But if you think so, I guess we can make the space for properties bigger and fit three spaces for machines per sheet instead of four :)

I'm not talking about the sheet you have... I'm talking about someone writing this stuff down free-hand on not-your-sheet-paper.

What you have there is probably fine. It looks comparable to what I recall standard 3.5 sheets looking like. But that's not what I'm getting at; I mean it kind of is, what with the potential look-up times, but I'm more concerned about how players would transcribe this stuff onto regular paper.


It's not to prevent cutting yourself, the opponents in the line of attack must do a Reflex check to avoid receiving the 1d4 damage.
So, I guess you were right, compressing the description of the machine made the writing very confusing.

Um... yes, then. If that was the intent, then yeah, that language was not clear.

And in that case: you're setting a saving throw DC by using a skill check? There is no world in which that is not terrible.


I don't know if a regular glue substance can be considered alchemical... more like "chemical" maybe?

The goal of typing bonuses is so that players can't stack them to fly off the top-end of the RNG and stomp everything.

If you want to give it a weird bonus type, go nuts. Call it chemical, nutritional, Bob Dole, whatever. But you have to keep in mind other mechanical elements the player may - or may not - find and use to combine with that bonus, to achieve over-the-top numbers.

[Archanica]

The goal of typing bonuses is so that players can't stack them to fly off the top-end of the RNG and stomp everything.

If you want to give it a weird bonus type, go nuts. Call it chemical, nutritional, Bob Dole, whatever. But you have to keep in mind other mechanical elements the player may - or may not - find and use to combine with that bonus, to achieve over-the-top numbers.
Yes, I was suggested that once, I guess I'll have to implement it.

[Debihuman]

My criticism isn't that you have a bad product but that your product isn't ready yet. You have to make a lot of changes still and finish translating. That is a lot for one person. I wish you all the best on this project. I hope it turns out great. And I look forward to seeing it completed

[Archanica]

We launch our official website :D

http://archanica.com/

Official Indiegogo project in matter of days...

[DracoDei]

I'm late to the party, but I'm just going to leave this here as another point of comparison...
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?114229-Base-Class-The-Engineer-3-5-PEACH

[Archanica]

http://i.imgur.com/YRgmGhZ.png

Our INDIEGOGO project has finally launched!

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Take a look to everything we offer, download our SAMPLE PACK and pledge if you feel like!

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