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Fax Celestis
2007-05-04, 12:09 PM
Ahimanu
Large Magical Beast (Fire)
HD 16d8+64 (136 hp)
Speed 15 ft. (3 squares); fly 80 ft. (Good)
Init: +12
AC 27; touch 17; flat-footed 19
(-1 Size, +8 Dex, +10 Natural)
BAB +16; Grp +28
Attack Beak +23 melee (1d6+8+1d6 fire, 19-20/x2)
or
Feather +23 ranged (1d6+4+1d6 fire, 19-20/x2)
Full-Attack Beak +23 melee (1d6+8+1d6 fire, 19-20/x2) and 2 talons +18 melee (1d8+4+1d6 fire, 20/x3)
or
5 feathers +23 ranged (1d6+4+1d6 fire, 19-20/x2)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
Special Attacks Spell-like abilities, feathershot, fiery repercussions
Special Qualities Fire absorption, spell resistance 26, damage reduction 5/mithral, rage, bolstering voice, fire aura, fire traits
Saves Fort +14 Ref +18 Will +7
Abilities Str 26, Dex 26, Con 18, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 20
Skills Concentration +23, Perform (Sing) +24, Sense Motive +21, Use Magic Device +24
Feats Awesome Blow, Combat Reflexes, Flyby Attack,Improved Bull Rush, Improved InitiativeB, Power Attack, Quicken Spell-Like Ability (Fire Shield)B, Wingover
Environment Volcanoes, meteor craters
Organization Solitary, in threes, or with 1-3 medium fire elementals
Challenge Rating 18
Treasure No art, 50% items (weapons are all of unique metals), 150% gems
Alignment Usually Chaotic Neutral
Advancement As magical beast
Level Adjustment --

Ahimanu are rare creatures that inhabit areas of extreme heat. Appearing as gigantic red birds with ridges made of obsidian on their face and neck, these creatures live in highly dangerous areas and appear to thrive off of heat.

Ahimanu speak Ignan, Dwarven, and Draconic.

Fire Absorption (Su)
An ahimanu that is dealt fire damage from any source does not roll any save. Instead, it negates the damage and gains hit points equal to the damage it would have taken. Hit points gained in this manner above and beyond an ahimanu's normal maximum hit points are instead gained as temporary hit points, to a maximum of four times the ahimanu's hit dice. These temporary hit points dissipate in an hour. Effects that circumvent or overcome fire resistance or immunity do not affect fire absorption.

Rage (Ex)
Ahimanu are not known for their complacency or patience. Twice per day, an ahimanu can fly into a rage similar to a barbarian. The ahimanu gains a +4 bonus to Strength and Constitution, raising its attack bonus by two points, granting it an additional 2 points of damage on its beak attack and an additional point of damage on each claw attack, as well as a 32 extra hit points. However, the ahimanu takes a -2 penalty to AC. Unlike a barbarian's rage, the rage of an ahimanu does not prevent them from concentrating on other effects. This rage lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the ahimanu's increased Constitution modifier. The ahimanu can use this ability twice per day.

Bolstering Voice (Ex)
Ahimanu have strong voices, and can bolster their own strength and their allies' strength with unnatural song. As a standard action, an ahimanu can begin singing. This song affects the bird and all its allies within 30'. All creatures affected by the song gain the following for each point of Charisma bonus the Ahimanu possesses: +1 to attack rolls, +1 fire damage to all melee attacks, +1 to Will saves, +1 to DCs for supernatural abilities, and +1 deflection armor class. All these bonuses are considered morale bonuses and last for a number of rounds equal to the ahimanu's Charisma modifier. The ahimanu can use this ability three times per day.

Fire Aura (Su)
Ahimanu exude heat in waves. Any creature within 30' of the ahimanu at the start of its turn takes 1d6 points of fire damage, plus 1 for each point of Charisma bonus the ahimanu possesses. In addition, any creature making an unarmed strike against the ahimanu must make a Reflex save (DC 10 + 1/2 the ahimanu's HD + Cha mod; default 23) or take 1d6 points of fire damage. Lastly, the ahimanu adds 1d6 fire damage to all attacks (this is already accounted for in the statistics above).

Feathershot (Ex)
Ahimanu have many feathers that are hardened by heat and are very sharp. As a standard action, the ahimanu can launch up to five feathers with a range increment of 50'. The attack pattern is detailed in the statistics above.

Fiery Repercussions (Su)
If reduced to 0 hit points or less (including below -10), an ahimanu immediately explodes in a sphere of flame. All creatures within 50' of the ahimanu immediately take 1d6 points of fire damage per Hit Die of the ahimanu. Creatures caught within the blast further than 10' from the creature may make a Reflex save (DC 10 + 1/2 the ahimanu's HD + Cha mod; default 23) for half damage.

This explosion totally destroys the ahimanu but immediately creates 1d4-1 eggs that look like especially large pieces of obsidian. These eggs gestate in one week and hatch, giving birth to young ahimanu. Within two more weeks, these birds reach full maturity. An egg has 10 points of hardness, 20 hit points, and a break DC of 23. These eggs are worth upwards of 30,000 gold to the right people; the efreeti especially like these birds as pets.

Spell-like Abilities (Sp)
An ahimanu's caster level is equal to its Hit Dice for its spell-like abilities.

5/day - burning hands; 3/day - channeled fireburst (http://corporation.walagata.com/fax/wiki/index.php/Spells#Channeled_Fireburst), fireball, Rutaus' blazing salvo (http://corporation.walagata.com/fax/wiki/index.php/Spells#Rutaus.27_Blazing_Salvo); 1/day - delayed blast fireball, fire shield, Rutaus' solitaire (http://corporation.walagata.com/fax/wiki/index.php/Spells#Rutaus.27_Solitaire)

[hr]
Do note that this entry would include the spells linked above.

DracoDei
2007-05-04, 03:53 PM
Numerous continuity errors(all pretty easy to fix):
-Number of sides on the hit-dice
-should be 1 to 3 from the eggs unless they are double/triple embroed in some cases
-need to specify they roll no save vs fire effects
-numerous numbered footnotes in the Feats that don't match anything).

Also seems strange to give something spell-like abilities and rage type thing (which precludes the use of spell-like abilities while under it), but that could be seen just an interesting twist.

A quick glance at the spells linked reveals that 2 of the 3 are pretty short, but still, three is a bit much to introduce with one creature... then again why not? Need to specify if Channeled Fireburst is in ADDITION to the existing level 4 Fire Domain spell or is available a SUBSTITUTION for it. If a substitution need to clarify if this should be a campaign design level decision or made when the cleric becomes able to cast 4th level divine spells.

Fax Celestis
2007-05-04, 04:06 PM
Numerous continuity errors(all pretty easy to fix):
-Number of sides on the hit-dice
Fixed. d8s.


-should be 1 to 3 from the eggs unless they are double/triple embroed in some cases
Fixed wording to be more ambiguous.


-need to specify they roll no save vs fire effects
Added under Fire Absorption


-numerous numbered footnotes in the Feats that don't match anything).
Those aren't footnotes. They're indications of what HD the creature gained them at.


Also seems strange to give something spell-like abilities and rage type thing (which precludes the use of spell-like abilities while under it), but that could be seen just an interesting twist. Realistically, it depends what range they're at. Long range, the ahimanu might open up with a channeled fireburst. Shorter range, it'll go for Rutaus' solitaire against a single opponent, or Rutaus' blazing salvo or fireball against a group. Once in melee, it'll rage and attack from there.


A quick glance at the spells linked reveals that 2 of the 3 are pretty short, but still, three is a bit much to introduce with one creature... then again why not? Need to specify if Channeled Fireburst is in ADDITION to the existing level 4 Fire Domain spell or is available a SUBSTITUTION for it. If a substitution need to clarify if this should be a campaign design level decision or made when the cleric becomes able to cast 4th level divine spells.

It is in addition to.

Lord Iames Osari
2007-05-04, 06:14 PM
Is the fire absorption similar to resistance/immunity to fire at all? I.E., is it overcome by things which overcome fire resistance/immunity?

Fax Celestis
2007-05-04, 06:21 PM
Is the fire absorption similar to resistance/immunity to fire at all? I.E., is it overcome by things which overcome fire resistance/immunity?

Let me clarify.

Icewalker
2007-05-04, 06:32 PM
I like it, but one real issue. In two places you say something like "one per charisma point of the Ahimanu". This is either a typo, or kiiiinda high...
According to Bolstering Voice, the Ahimanu can start singing as a standard action, then start fighting again, except with +20 to hit, damage, Will saves, spell DCs, and AC. That'd bump it's AC to 47...
I think you meant 1 per point of charisma bonus. so +5 not +20...

Other than that, I love it. Nice spells by the way.

Fax Celestis
2007-05-04, 06:43 PM
I like it, but one real issue. In two places you say something like "one per charisma point of the Ahimanu". This is either a typo, or kiiiinda high...
According to Bolstering Voice, the Ahimanu can start singing as a standard action, then start fighting again, except with +20 to hit, damage, Will saves, spell DCs, and AC. That'd bump it's AC to 47...
I think you meant 1 per point of charisma bonus. so +5 not +20...

Other than that, I love it. Nice spells by the way.

Fixed. Anything else?

Lord Iames Osari
2007-05-11, 02:51 PM
Bump. Keep voting, people!

Zherog
2007-05-15, 03:45 PM
Hey look - it's your turn. :smallwink: The usual - I haven't read other comments, blah blah blah...


HD 16d8+64 (136 HP)

I'm 99% certain "hp" should be lowercase.


Attack Beak +24 melee (1d6 + 8 + 1d6 fire, 19-20/x2)

I get 23 for the primary attack. BAB +16, Str +8, size -1.


Full-Attack Beak +22 melee (1d6 + 8 + 1d6 fire, 19-20/x2) and 2 talons +22 melee (1d8 + 4 + 1d6 fire, 20/x3)
or
5 feathers +22/+22/+17/+12/+7 (1d6 + 4 + 1d6 fire, 19-20/x2)

Natural attacks "progress" differently than what PCs get with manufactured weapons. The primary attack, as we've determined above, is +23. All other attacks are secondary natural attacks, and they occur at 5 points less than the primary. If you take the Multiattack feat, that difference drops to -2.

So your beak attack should be at +23 still; the talons are at +18.

As for the feathers... First, you need to denote that it's a ranged attack. Second - kudos for giving the creature a ranged attack - otherwise, it's just a matter of PCs staying away and peppering it with arrows and spells.

Those are little things though. The progrsssion is off. It looks to me like you're using the creature's BAB to determine the other attacks - and you've probably mixed in Rapid Shot, too, from the looks of it. As mentioned above, natural attacks don't progress the same as manufactured weapons.

I'm trying to think of something that has a similar attack. I'm currently coming up blank to think of an example creature - something with a quill blast or whatever. I'll keep pondering, but if you think of one it's worth looking up. I think, though, it'll get whatever number of ranged attacks you want and all of them will occur at the "primary" value (+23).

Also, the damage on the feathers should probably be full Strength, not half.



Special Attacks Spell-like abilities, Feathershot, Fiery Repercussions

These should be lowercase, and in alphabetical order.


Special Qualities Fire Absorption, Spell Resist 26, Damage Reduction 4/Starmetal, Rage, Bolstering Voice, Fire Aura, Magical Beast traits, Fire traits

A few things here.

Lowercase for all the names (except the first).

As a magical beast, it should have darkvision out to 60 ft. That gets listed as the first SQ.

Spell out "spell resistance."

Is Starmetal the substance from Complete Arcane that the one Prestige Class is built around? If so, you can't use it - it's not open content.

Typically, "magical beast traits" isn't include - mostly because darkvision is the only one anybody really cares about. ;)


Skills Concentration +23, Perform (Sing) +24, Sense Motive +21, Use Magic Device +24

UMD is an interesting choice. Especially since, as it exists, this bird can't speak to use the command words of wands and such. ;) Make sure you cover how it speaks (either by adding languages to the description, or by creating a "mimic voice" ability).

Numbers check out, though.


Feats Improved InitiativeB, Quicken Spell-Like AbilityB, Power Attack1, Improved Bull Rush3, Awesome Blow6, Flyby Attack9, Wingover12, Combat Reflexes15

A few things here, too.

Alphabetical order.

Quicken Spell-Like Ability only applies to one of the creature's SLAs, and you have to pick it at the time you pick the feat.

What are all the footnotes for? I'm guessing it's the level you took the feat? If so, it's unnecessary.


Alignment Chaotic Neutral

Always CN? Or usually CN? You need to specify, and if you go with "always" you need a very good reason for a sentient non-outsider to always have a given alignment.


Advancement As magical beast or by class; Favored Class Sorceror

"Sorcerer" is misspelled.

You need to provide the HD progression for when the creature adds Hit Dice rather than taking levels. Does it cap? Does it ever became Huge sized?

I'm thinking it's really inefficient for these birds to ever take sorcerer levels. Let's consider a "standard" bird; it takes one level of sorcerer - it gains 2.5 hit points, +2 Will save, some sucky skills, 2 1st level spells known, 4 0-level spells known, 3 1st level spell slots a day, and 5 0-level spell slots per day. Oh, and it can have a familiar. Frankly - whoop-dee-doo. So I can cast mage armor as a 1st level caster? Or color spray? And for that, its challenge rating is supposed to increase by 1? Alternatively, I can add 3 Hit Dice to the creature and get the same +1 CR. I think it's a no-brainer which is better.

In my opinion, just have them advance by Hit Dice and drop the ability to gain class levels.

And, um... on re-reading that, it sounds kinda harsh. Oops. It wasn't meant to be harsh - just point out how advancing as a sorcerer isn't a good decision for a GM.


Ahimanu are unique and rare creatures.

If they're uinique, how do they appear in three's? :smallwink:


Fire Absorption (Su)
An ahimanu that is dealt fire damage from any source does not roll any save. Instead, it negates the damage and gains hit points equal to the damage it would have taken. Effects that circumvent or overcome fire resistance or immunity do not affect fire absorption.

Does it gain these as temporary hit points, healing, or some combination of the two? For temporary hit points, you need to specify if there's any limit, and you need to specify a duration (one hour is typical).

My recommendation would be to have it heal until the creature is at full hit points, then have the rest gained as temporary hit points. Set Max temp hp to something reasonable, like 4 times its Hit Dice, and have them expire in an hour.


Rage (Ex)
Ahimanu are not known for their complacency or patience. Twice per day, An ahimanu can fly into a rage similar to a barbarian. The phoenix gains a +4 bonus to Strength and Constitution, raising its attack bonus by two points, granting it an additional 2 points on its beak attack and an additional point on each claw attack, as well as a 32 extra hit points. However, the Ahimanu takes a -2 penalty to AC. This rage lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the Ahimanu's increased constitution modifier. The Ahimanu can use this ability twice per day.

*ahem* Phoenix? :smallwink:

Capitalize the last mention of Con (the underlined one).


Bolstering Voice (Ex)
Ahimanu have strong voices, and can bolster their own strength and their allies' strength with unnatural song. As a standard action, An ahimanu can begin singing. This song affects the bird and all its allies within 30'. All creatures affected by the song gain the following for each point of charisma bonus the Ahimanu possesses: +1 to attack rolls, +1 fire damage to all melee attacks, +1 to will saves, +1 to DCs for supernatural abilities, and +1 armor class. All these bonuses are considered morale bonuses. The Ahimanu can use this ability three times per day.

Capitalize ability names (Strength, Charisma, etc)


Feathershot (Ex)
Ahimanu have many feathers that are hardened by heat and are very sharp. As a standard action, the Ahimanu can launch a number of feathers at targets within 15'. Treat these as thrown weapons. The attack pattern is detailed in the statistics above.

I'd give serious consideration to increasing the range - quite a bit, actually. 15' isn't very far. PCs are just going to stay away and blast it to death with arrows and spells, without too much fear of getting the worst of the creature's attacks and defenses.


Fiery Repercussions (Su)
If reduced to 0 hit points or less (including below -10), An ahimanu immediately explodes in a sphere of flame. All creatures within 50' of the Ahimanu immediately take 1d6 points of fire damage per Hit Die of the Ahimanu. Creatures caught within the blast further than 10' from the creature may make a Reflex save (DC 10 + 1/2 the pyrrhic's raptor's HD + Cha mod; default 23) for half damage.

Be consistent with the name of the creature. You have "pyyrhic raptor" in your thread title, but I'm pretty sure this is the first time that phrase has appeared in the entry.

Also - wow, it sucks to deliver the death blow to this thing!


This explosion totally destroys the Ahimanu but immediately creates 1d4-1 eggs that look like especially large pieces of obsidian. These eggs gestate in one week and hatch, giving birth to young Ahimanu. Within two more weeks, these birds reach full maturity. An egg has 10 points of hardness, 20 hit points, and a break DC of 23. These eggs are worth upwards of 30,000 gold to the right people; the efreeti especially like these birds as pets.

So it's possible to get 0 eggs? Is that intentional?


Spell-like Abilities (Sp)
An ahimanu's caster level is 10.

In my opinion, you should set the caster level equal to it's Hit Dice.


burning hands 5/day; channeled fireburst (http://corporation.walagata.com/fax/wiki/index.php/Spells#Channeled_Fireburst), fireball, Rutaus' blazing salvo (http://corporation.walagata.com/fax/wiki/index.php/Spells#Rutaus.27_Blazing_Salvo) - 3/day; delayed blast fireball, fire shield, Rutaus' solitaire (http://corporation.walagata.com/fax/wiki/index.php/Spells#Rutaus.27_Solitaire) - 1/day

By the "standard" you have these backwards; first list the number of uses per day, then list the SLAs.

***

Interesting critter. Even if I did make a lot of comments...

Fax Celestis
2007-05-15, 04:17 PM
I'll address major points:


Natural attacks "progress" differently than what PCs get with manufactured weapons. The primary attack, as we've determined above, is +23. All other attacks are secondary natural attacks, and they occur at 5 points less than the primary. If you take the Multiattack feat, that difference drops to -2.

So your beak attack should be at +23 still; the talons are at +18.

As for the feathers... First, you need to denote that it's a ranged attack. Second - kudos for giving the creature a ranged attack - otherwise, it's just a matter of PCs staying away and peppering it with arrows and spells.

Those are little things though. The progrsssion is off. It looks to me like you're using the creature's BAB to determine the other attacks - and you've probably mixed in Rapid Shot, too, from the looks of it. As mentioned above, natural attacks don't progress the same as manufactured weapons.

I'm trying to think of something that has a similar attack. I'm currently coming up blank to think of an example creature - something with a quill blast or whatever. I'll keep pondering, but if you think of one it's worth looking up. I think, though, it'll get whatever number of ranged attacks you want and all of them will occur at the "primary" value (+23).

Also, the damage on the feathers should probably be full Strength, not half. The feathers, actually, are supposed to imitate arrows, but I wanted that done within the bounds of a natural attack. You are correct: It's using Rapid Shot in conjunction with high BAB to get iterative attacks.

Looking at it now, though, I could just have been on acid. I think I'll make them natural attacks that act like natural attacks.


Is Starmetal the substance from Complete Arcane that the one Prestige Class is built around? If so, you can't use it - it's not open content.

As written, it's a different version of starmetal, one for my homebrew setting. I'll change that to an OGL material.



UMD is an interesting choice. Especially since, as it exists, this bird can't speak to use the command words of wands and such. ;) Make sure you cover how it speaks (either by adding languages to the description, or by creating a "mimic voice" ability).

Numbers check out, though. Man, I forgot languages? What's wrong with me?


Does it gain these as temporary hit points, healing, or some combination of the two? For temporary hit points, you need to specify if there's any limit, and you need to specify a duration (one hour is typical).

My recommendation would be to have it heal until the creature is at full hit points, then have the rest gained as temporary hit points. Set Max temp hp to something reasonable, like 4 times its Hit Dice, and have them expire in an hour. That's reasonable. I'll edit that in.


So it's possible to get 0 eggs? Is that intentional? Yes. It's between 0 and 3. Considering the nature of their creation, I don't find that unreasonable.

Zherog
2007-05-15, 04:20 PM
I'll address major points:

The feathers, actually, are supposed to imitate arrows, but I wanted that done within the bounds of a natural attack. You are correct: It's using Rapid Shot in conjunction with high BAB to get iterative attacks.

Looking at it now, though, I could just have been on acid. I think I'll make them natural attacks that act like natural attacks.

Poke around and find something to mimic. There's critters with things like quill blasts and the like. As long as they can launch at least two in a round, you have something to copy.


Man, I forgot languages? What's wrong with me?

Good question. :smallwink:


Yes. It's between 0 and 3. Considering the nature of their creation, I don't find that unreasonable.

Yep, it's mostly reasonable. I think as a player I'd be annoyed about facing off against that thing only to find my GM has a sucky d4 that rolled a 1. ;)

Fax Celestis
2007-05-15, 04:36 PM
Okay. Updates and alterations made, as per the Pint of Guinness.

DracoDei
2007-05-18, 05:40 PM
Are they fatigued after rage?

Having a moral bonus that grants fire damage seems a little odd... but OK.

Do they stay in old meteor craters for hundreds of years afterwards? Only until they cool down (which would be a matter of days/weeks at most I should think)? Only until vegetation starts regrowing?

What is the Spot DC to track an egg in flight and/or tell it from actual obsidian so you know what to take back to town to sell?

Fax Celestis
2007-05-18, 08:38 PM
Are they fatigued after rage?
No.


Do they stay in old meteor craters for hundreds of years afterwards? Only until they cool down (which would be a matter of days/weeks at most I should think)? Only until vegetation starts regrowing? Their presence (and heat aura) would probably prevent vegetation, but yes.


What is the Spot DC to track an egg in flight and/or tell it from actual obsidian so you know what to take back to town to sell?
Egg in flight?

DracoDei
2007-05-18, 11:20 PM
I assumed that the eggs went flying out of the explosion, if they simply appear at the creatures original location (and then fall to the ground in all likeliness, of course NOT breaking usually), then that is different, but the question of how hard they are to tell from the obsidian that is quite possible to be in such areas as these live in anyway still remains.

Fax Celestis
2007-05-18, 11:23 PM
I assumed that the eggs went flying out of the explosion, if they simply appear at the creatures original location (and then fall to the ground in all likeliness, of course NOT breaking usually), then that is different, but the question of how hard they are to tell from the obsidian that is quite possible to be in such areas as these live in anyway still remains.

They're left where the creature died. As for telling the difference, they look and feel like egg-shaped obsidian with a fetal bird inside. You tell me.

DracoDei
2007-05-18, 11:35 PM
Ah... so the lack of sharp edges would pretty much be a give away... except for the 'needle in the hay stack' effect... you would know when you found one, but it might take some searching...

Fax Celestis
2007-05-18, 11:37 PM
Ah... so the lack of sharp edges would pretty much be a give away... except for the 'needle in the hay stack' effect... you would know when you found one, but it might take some searching...

Pretty much, yeah.

DracoDei
2007-05-19, 01:40 AM
I voted yes, because after the number of posts you traded with me you are obviously dedicated enough to this monster that I can safely infer that it is well crafted... and it is the only one I see so far that mixes in new spells, which is a good thing.

Fizban
2007-05-20, 12:15 AM
I'm pretty sure that SLA's always take a standard action to use unless specified, so you should specify that it can use the fireburst as the spell is intended.

Also, your blazing salvo spell confuses me. I assume it's meant to deal 1d4+1d6 per rock, but the way it's worded it deals 1d4/level +1d6 per rock. Stackable on one person. For a total of CL squared d4's on one target.

NakedCelt
2007-07-24, 08:30 PM
[language pedantry]
If this thing's name is taken from Māori ahi "fire" + manu "bird" or Hawai'ian, which I think would be the same then the descriptor should go after the noun: manuahi.
[/language pedantry]

Fax Celestis
2007-11-12, 05:18 PM
[language pedantry]
If this thing's name is taken from Māori ahi "fire" + manu "bird" or Hawai'ian, which I think would be the same then the descriptor should go after the noun: manuahi.
[/language pedantry]

That is where the name is taken from. I decided to spell it this way since I thought it sounded better off the tongue.