View Full Version : Exotic Weapon: Cats

2007-05-20, 03:33 AM
(Okay, so my friends keep linking me lolcats and I got to thinking...)

Exotic Weapon: Cats
1- or 2-Handed
Damage: Special
Range: Sight

Hand-drawn portraits of felines in differing positions. Whenever shown a portrait, depending on its type, all humanoid creatures must make a Will save to avoid falling under the effect.

Cute Cat:
The picture of an undeniably cute kitten. DC Will 15+Cuteness Factor to avoid being struck dumb, as by a "Feeblemind" spell. Drooling may or may not occur.

Sad Cat:
The picture of a heartbreakingly sad kitten. DC Will 16 + Sadness Fator to avoid being struck by a "Crushing Despair" effect. Weeping uncontrollably and muttering "poor kitty" may occur.

Angry Cat:
A picture of a cat that is pissed right the hell off. DC Will 17 + Anger Factor to avoid being struck by a "Fear" effect. Screaming "JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION!" may occur.

Funny Cat:
A cat doing something insanely funny. DC Will 16 + Funny Factor to avoid being struck by a "Hideous Laughter" effect. Killing oneself to make the laughter stop may occur.

2007-05-20, 04:15 AM
I think it need range much shorter than sight.

Also, write how cuteness/anger factor are calculated and it will be great weapon in everyone's arsenal.
Will be probably soon baned in Geneva conventions.

2007-05-20, 04:28 AM
(I lol'ed, I had to read the thread name twice to take it all in.)

yea, maybe 10 feet, as so they can see the kitten's clearly enough for their frightening (or cutesy) visage to take affect. Although I dont think anyone will use the sad cat though, especially when the cute cat is oh so good :smallbiggrin:

2007-05-20, 04:53 AM
Also DC are strange. Why angry cat view is hardest to resist?

Cute cat should be most deadly in this way:smallbiggrin:

Green Bean
2007-05-20, 05:00 AM
There should be some damage. Otherwise, how will the cats kill off low level wizards? :smallbiggrin:

2007-05-20, 10:37 AM
There should be some damage. Otherwise, how will the cats kill off low level wizards? :smallbiggrin:

They won't. You're thinking of the deadly "cat-chuck," which involves getting a pair of cats angry, tying their tails together, and tossing them onto something. The weapon presented uses the cat's awesome photogenic powers for a more subtle assult, with a far less likely chance to shred you to bits.

Human Paragon 3
2007-05-20, 01:55 PM

I made you a cookie, but I eated it.