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Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-09, 07:03 PM
Vespe decides to take a nap on the couch.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-09, 07:23 PM
The ninja Magtok comes back, kills his drunken self, and then leaves a knife in Vespe's skull before ceasing to exist again.

Saurous
2007-06-09, 07:27 PM
Saurous sighs, and the ninja Magtok suddenly finds himself with a katana stuck in his forhead.

"Ninja's do not come from Arr El, they come from Japan."

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-09, 07:30 PM
Vespe continues to nap. Despite the knife in his brain.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-09, 07:32 PM
Quick everyone to the right!

Lord Magtok
2007-06-09, 07:48 PM
Saurous sighs, and the ninja Magtok suddenly finds himself with a katana stuck in his forhead.

"Ninja's do not come from Arr El, they come from Japan."

A regular Magtok comes out of the labs and removes the mask on the ninja-Magtok. Underneath is a face that suggests that this particular clone is of Oriental descent.

Wow. The guy really did come from Japan. That's odd. Especially since I don't remember making any ninja clones. Maybe he was a spy?

Saurous
2007-06-09, 07:50 PM
Saurous sighs.

"Maybe he's you from an alternate Earth's Japan.

No...that's too ludicrous, even for this place."

Lord Magtok
2007-06-09, 08:00 PM
It doesn't matter now, the guy's dead. And-

The ninja somehow is still alive and tries to crawl back to his feet, until Magtok's foot comes down and crushes his neck.

As I was saying, he's dead and we should-

The ninja tries to pry Magtok's foot off of his neck, until his face is filled with lead from Magtok's smoking pistol.

He's dead, he doesn't matter, and my player is an idiot. Now lets forget this happened and watch something other than Pirates.

The ninja somehow tries to climb back up and shakes his fist after hearing the word "Pirates", until Magtok grabs the sword in the ninja's back and uses it to offer the ninja to Saur.

Cut out his soul or something. This guy doesn't seem to want to die.

Saurous
2007-06-09, 08:05 PM
"Magtok, I don't 'cut out' their souls. It's more of a draini...you know what, you probably don't care."

Saurous removes the ninja's soul, and then puts the gem it makes into his pocket.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-09, 08:10 PM
Magtok tosses the soul-less ninja against the ground, and then lights it on fire with a flamethrower. The ashes try to get back up, until Magtok sucks them up with a vacuum cleaner which is then placed in cyrogenic freezing.

Hmm...this ninja guy gave me an idea. What if I were to create a being that thrived on things like bullets and destructive energies? It would be utterly invincible, and be all scary and universe-squishing.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-09, 08:12 PM
Vespe (with a nifty pair of angel wings) descends from the sky playing a guitar.
And this bird you cannot change!

Mr. Moon
2007-06-09, 08:13 PM
"I know what to watch!" Saphire comes running in, and pops a DVD into the player. Shortly after, the Naruto movie begins to play.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-09, 08:14 PM
Vespe goes into a rage, and beats the DVD player with the guitar repeatedly.
I! AM! SICK! OF! NARUTO!

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-09, 08:15 PM
Saphire, while you're working on the montage, I'll take Moon and show her some of my secret techniques, basically, Blood Magic.

Saurous
2007-06-09, 08:15 PM
"Hey! Vespe!"

Saurous tosses the ninja's Soul Gem at Vespe. It strikes him in the forhead, releasing a massive explosion that turns Vespe and anything within twenty feet of him into dust.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-09, 08:19 PM
Vespe teleports outside the base as it explodes.
You godmod, I godmod. Simple as that.

Mr. Moon
2007-06-09, 08:19 PM
Vespe goes into a rage, and beats the DVD player with the guitar repeatedly.
I! AM! SICK! OF! NARUTO!

Saphire looks up at Vespe and whimpers. "But... but.. I won't get another chance to watch it! It only came out for one day in the States! I'm Canadian! It's not faiiir!" Saphire whines.



Saphire, while you're working on the montage, I'll take Moon and show her some of my secret techniques, basically, Blood Magic.

"Sure. Anything to get away from the crazy, hormone drived teenager who calls herself my player." Moon Called says, walking over to Rex, but avoiding the whining Saphire.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-09, 08:21 PM
You know what Saphire? You get a boot to the head.
A boot comes out of nowhere at Mach 5 and hits Saphire in the head.

Saurous
2007-06-09, 08:22 PM
Saphire looks up at Vespe and whimpers. "But... but.. I won't get another chance to watch it! It only came out for one day in the States! I'm Canadian! It's not faiiir!" Saphire whines.




"Sure. Anything to get away from the crazy, hormone drived teenager who calls herself my player." Moon Called says, walking over to Rex, but avoiding the whining Saphire.

SP tapes Saphire's mouth shut.

"That should solve that."

Saurous sighs.

Mr. Moon
2007-06-09, 08:23 PM
Saphire hand waves the boot away and continues whining about how Shonen Jump was compleatly unfair to keep her from watching the movie.


SP tapes Saphire's mouth shut.

"That should solve that."

Saurous sighs.

Saphire glares at SP, toying with a plastic, over sized kunai.

Saurous
2007-06-09, 08:26 PM
SP grins, and pats Saphire on the head.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-09, 08:26 PM
Shonen Jump? Yeah, I used to read it. I was totally into Japanese stuff. Shonen Jump, video games, anime, and ramen. Good times. But then I got into gaming, and never looked back.
Except for that Yugioh Abridged Series thing.
Yeah, that was funny. Oh, and ramen. Still love ramen.
What gamer doesn't?
Indeed.

Madmal
2007-06-09, 08:28 PM
Saphire hand waves the boot away and continues whining about how Shonen Jump was compleatly unfair to keep her from watching the movie.



Saphire glares at SP, toying with a plastic, over sized kunai.

Diego grunts, coming to sight...

Dios...anyways, i'm pretty sure you can find it on the internet...besides i've heard it has snow on it..snow makes it to suck...and i've also played the evil guy on the ultimate Ninja 2...frankly, his movements were awfull...

Mr. Moon
2007-06-09, 08:29 PM
SP grins, and pats Saphire on the head.

Saphire shoots SP a look that clearly reads murder.


Diego grunts, coming to sight...

Dios...anyways, i'm pretty sure you can find it on the internet...besides i've heard it has snow on it..snow makes it to suck...and i've also played the evil guy on the ultimate Ninja 2...frankly, his movements were awfull...

((Which evil guy? Orrochimaru?))

Saphire pauses, then her eyes light up.

((Hah! I don't need my mouth to say things now!))

Saurous
2007-06-09, 08:31 PM
SP takes a step back, but continues grinning.

"You're an idiot, you know that, right?"

"Shut up."

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-09, 08:33 PM
The last two years have been devoted to getting your magical energies to the point where you can use blood magic. It's the Sadistic/Masochistic magic, and you'll learn by pain and nothing else. You will become lightheaded, you will be in so much pain that tears will arise, but it's all for one of the most powerful forms of Magic. With it, you can slaughter millions, and at it's peak, killing is it's own fuel.

I first learned of this type of magic from a man name Seccorath, he practiced with Scarring and Divine magic, but it's the same principle. Using blood where Magic flows more naturally. Trust me, magic is like Electricity, you can send it through the air, but you need massive amounts of it just for it to go, but if you send it through a conductor, let's say blood or metal, it travels with ease.

It's harder to control, the blood, but when it's controlled, it means almost certain death for your opponent.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-09, 08:34 PM
Saphire shoots SP a look that clearly reads murder.

((Which evil guy? Orrochimaru?))

Saphire pauses, then her eyes light up.

((Hah! I don't need my mouth to say things now!))

Wait a sec, can't she just handwave the tape away?

Damnit, I just doomed us to having to listen to her babble about Naruto, didn't I? :smallfrown:

Madmal
2007-06-09, 08:34 PM
Saphire shoots SP a look that clearly reads murder.

((Which evil guy? Orrochimaru?))

Saphire pauses, then her eyes light up.

((Hah! I don't need my mouth to say things now!))

((No, some guy dressed in black and purple, with a Biiiig head...according to a website, it was one of the villains of the movie with the snow on it...))

Diego grins at SP

if there's one thing i've learned in life..is to not anger fangirls...and to not eat blueberries...or ice cream and then shellfish...

*he takes a wrapped sandwich from his pocket, unwraps it, and starts eating it*

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-09, 08:34 PM
So, Saphire, do you think you're goth? (http://www.commissionedcomic.com/index.php?strip=126)
((The link is funny, seriously))

Saurous
2007-06-09, 08:36 PM
Wait a sec, can't she just handwave the tape away?

Damnit, I just doomed us to having to listen to her babble about Naruto, didn't I? :smallfrown:

Both SP and Saurous blast Magtok at the same time.

Shut up.

Mr. Moon
2007-06-09, 08:41 PM
So, Saphire, do you think you're goth?
((The link is funny, seriously))

((I have no clue. My Parental Controls block it.)) Saphire glares at her mom.


Wait a sec, can't she just handwave the tape away?

Damnit, I just doomed us to having to listen to her babble about Naruto, didn't I?

Saphire hand waves the tape away, and grins. "Belive it!"


((No, some guy dressed in black and purple, with a Biiiig head...according to a website, it was one of the villains of the movie with the snow on it...))

"Really? Well, the Naruto movie is supposed to be pretty weird. But I have a reputation to keep up. I have to find a way to watch it."


The last two years have been devoted to getting your magical energies to the point where you can use blood magic. It's the Sadistic/Masochistic magic, and you'll learn by pain and nothing else. You will become lightheaded, you will be in so much pain that tears will arise, but it's all for one of the most powerful forms of Magic. With it, you can slaughter millions, and at it's peak, killing is it's own fuel.

I first learned of this type of magic from a man name Seccorath, he practiced with Scarring and Divine magic, but it's the same principle. Using blood where Magic flows more naturally. Trust me, magic is like Electricity, you can send it through the air, but you need massive amounts of it just for it to go, but if you send it through a conductor, let's say blood or metal, it travels with ease.

It's harder to control, the blood, but when it's controlled, it means almost certain death for your opponent.

Moon Called nods, not liking the sound of it. Of course, she didn't like the sound of letting that acursed paladin continue slaughtering her kin a lot worse, so she decided to pay attention.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-09, 08:44 PM
Oh. I see...
Carlos considers trying to upload the comic to his Photobucket account for a minute, then decides against it.
It wasn't that funny anyway.

Madmal
2007-06-09, 08:45 PM
Wait a sec, can't she just handwave the tape away?

Damnit, I just doomed us to having to listen to her babble about Naruto, didn't I? :smallfrown:

Meh, i can take it..unless she gets too graphical about her obsessions...

...hmmm, and if i know something of human nature, i have just awakened the urge to talk about that in her...

*looks absent-mindedly to a bookshelf and shrugs*

Meh, that's why i have this chicken and olive sauce sandwich for...

takes a bite of the sandwich.

Mr. Moon
2007-06-09, 08:46 PM
((Rex, my brother wants on. Wanna continue our studies tomarow?))

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-09, 08:50 PM
Basically, every time, you deal damage to your opponent when preparing a BloodSpell, your spell becomes more powerful. Every time you take damage when preparing a BloodSpell, it becomes more powerful. Certain BloodSpells can only be used when you have so much blood shed. For purposes of Mechanics, let's call them "Blood Counters." Now, I can say that focus and concentration is key, I cannot, however, tell you a spell that activates BloodMagic. It can only be done through Trial and Error.

That said, with all the training that was done, you should do very well with it. So, start off concentrating on your palm, imagine your desired result, then use this knife, he tosses a black dagger at Moon Called, it's slick, covered with something, plunge it into your palm, with your desired result in mind, always keep the desired result in mind, Let the magic and blood flow.

I highly doubt you'll get this in the first week, you won't get it in the first day.

(Sure, plan on what spell you'll try. The more creative, the better.)

Saurous
2007-06-09, 08:53 PM
"Why do I get the feeling Magtok's going to go off with jokes about Moon 'going emo'?"

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-09, 08:58 PM
Well, this has been mocked as Emo-Magic long before Moon's time,

Madmal
2007-06-09, 08:59 PM
I bet what i have in the upper pocket on the left side of my pants that he isn't gonna talk about that.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-09, 09:00 PM
I bet what i have in the upper pocket on the left side of my pants that he isn't gonna talk about that.

What do you have in the upper pocket on the left side of your pants? Me, I have..
Vespe checks that pocket.
A +4 Flaming Burst Rapier. Wow. I really do have too many rapiers.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-09, 09:01 PM
"Why do I get the feeling Magtok's going to go off with jokes about Moon 'going emo'?"

No, I'm not going to do that. It wouldn't be funny, because I'd just be stating a obvious fact. Besides, if I ridicule their crazy emo magic, they'll probably do some creepy satanic cultist thing to summon some scary demon thingy to smite me. I'm going to just pretend they don't exist for a while.

Now lets watch a non-anime movie and try to pretend this emo/goth satanic occulty thing isn't really happening.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-09, 09:02 PM
Holy @#$%! Magtok, was that a sign of a Positive Wisdom Modifier?

Madmal
2007-06-09, 09:04 PM
seems like the contents of my pocket will be left in a mystery....

if there's a movie show on, i suggest "Sleepy Hollow"...that maded me laugh so hard first time i saw it...

Saurous
2007-06-09, 09:07 PM
Holy @#$%! Magtok, was that a sign of a Positive Wisdom Modifier?

And then the universe collapsed.

It was promplty fixed by a useful plot device.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-09, 09:08 PM
Magtok tries his best to pretend the scary guy with the black clothes doesn't exist by repairing the DVD player and watching the Godfather Part 1. He hums along with the music and eats some popcorn, trying to hide the fact that he's panicking at the idea of another Rex.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-09, 09:10 PM
Vespe takes out all the bags he has in his room, and dumps them all out in the living room. What comes out is about 27538475638724153451363 rapiers of varying size, construction, and enchantments.
Yep. Wayyy tooo many.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-09, 09:18 PM
To avoid being skewered by the flood of rapiers, Magtok turns himself into a worm, and continues watching the movie.

Madmal
2007-06-09, 09:22 PM
Diego wonders about magtok, but decides to screw it, sits on a chair, and starts reading a book taken from the pocket on his jacket.

after some time, he's no longer there.

Uberblah
2007-06-09, 09:30 PM
Uber looks around and holds his head.
I've missed a lot and my head hurts really bad.

Saurous
2007-06-09, 09:31 PM
"Magtok, you do know that Blood magic isn't the only gothic satanic style of magic out there. I could show you a few, just to teach you/annoy you."

Lord Magtok
2007-06-09, 09:35 PM
I know they're out there. Do you think I've forgotten about necromancy already? Now shut up and let me watch Luca Brasi die.

Uberblah
2007-06-09, 10:33 PM
Uber decides to pull out a book and read while it's somewhat quiet.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-09, 10:40 PM
Magtok finishes watching the Godfather trilogy, and decides to watch Super Mario Bros. Z, an amazingly good series of movies you can find on Newgrounds.

PirateMonk
2007-06-10, 08:27 AM
PM sighs and walks in, while its player bumps the thread and wonders if anyone else is on.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 09:07 AM
Saurous wanders in, and he has apparently turned into...wait, he hasn't changed at all. That can't be right.

"Hah! I didn't get turned into an animal! For once, I'm glad my player it too lazy to get/make an avatar."

I hate you.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 09:10 AM
Carlos falls over on the floor laughing in agony, and dies.
The only thing he leaves to this world is this link. (http://www.commissionedcomic.com/index.php?strip=323)
His last words are Second Panel...
Then Vespe chainsaws him up and throws him to the buzzards.
I'm free!

V Junior
2007-06-10, 12:17 PM
((Carlos, check PvN. I have a little suprise for you...))

"What the heck?" "Our player. Take no notice, Princess." "Mmph! Mmph Mmph Mmph MMPH!" "Shut up, paladin scum, or this cutlass goes through your head." "You shut up, Darkie, or this katana goes through your he- what was that?" The base is suddenly flooded with Coka-Cola.
"YAY!" "MY ROBES!!!" "Oh dear. Ohhhh dear." "Damn you, Victoria." Darkie drowns. "Now my miserable existance ends..."

Saurous
2007-06-10, 12:21 PM
Saurous jumps up, and hides in the rafters, above the soda flood.

"V and her counterparts are only here for about an hour every two days, but she can screw everything up in that amount of time."

V Junior
2007-06-10, 12:26 PM
"Yep, we can. Has anyone else noticed that the Coke level is rising??" "I AM FREED! Now, evil scum, you die! SMITE EVIL!" Light Junior smites Shadow, Exy, Darkie and Magtok in that order. Junior kicks her in the back. "You did not just smite Magtok, did you?" "I did." "DIE!!!" "I'm just gonna swim over here... towards the dry cleaners..." "Dry cleaners?? YES!!!" "THE COKE IS POISONED!!!"

"...

I swallowed some :eek:..."

zeratul
2007-06-10, 12:27 PM
((everyone look into the epic saga, it's good times))

Zeratul looks on confused at the flood. He then procedes to dive in, drinking the soda.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 12:29 PM
Saurous sighs, and dashes through the rafters. He jumps up into an opening in the ceiling, and out onto the roof.

"Magtok and his annoying girlfriend..."

He shakes his head.

V Junior
2007-06-10, 12:33 PM
Junior dives deeper into the Coke, and finds a Coke tap. It's on. She turns it, but the wrong way. The Coke spills out onto the rooftop, and into AMEN's pocket dimension. "Oops." "I hate you." "As do we all, scum." "Will you guys just shut up and let me sort this out??? I have a plan..." She turns the knob the other way. It sucks in the Coke- and everyone in it- into a large tank. The Junior gang hold onto a big strong bar in the rafters.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 12:36 PM
Saurous is sucked off the rooftop, and catches a bar in the rafters. He flips up, and balances on top of said bar. He then thanks the gods for his levels in Assassin.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 12:44 PM
Ah well, it's not like I even bothered to check that game...also, how did you figure out my real name? You'll have to be exterminated.
Carlos pulls out two assault rifles (one in each hand) and does a Matrix-style-jump-slo-mo-shoot-at-V-Junior.

V Junior
2007-06-10, 12:45 PM
((C-boy, you post your name as Carlos all the time. So shut up and sit down. And put the guns away. Also, FYI, my name is Victoria. Also, I am undecided on whether I'm a pirate or a ninja. So rope-swing-ninja-dodge-move-thing.))


Light Junior and Kid Junior fall off the rafters, paralyzed by the poison. They're sucked into the tank. "Good riddance." "Agreed." "How can you leave a child to die???" "...Wait, you're Neteral with Evil tendancys. Why are you bothered?" "Chaotic Neteral." "I see."

"A little help here?" "Oh shut up."

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 12:57 PM
Magtok looks around, nursing his smite-wound, and remaining oblivious to everything else around him and unaffected by any environmental hazards due to a hand-wave field surrounding him.

Damn, I forgot how much smiting really hurt. But why did Light Junior attack me instead of some freaky goth kid like Saur?

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 12:59 PM
Vespe walks in.
What's going on here?
They've discovered my identity! We have to neutralize the base!
Wait wha-
The base explodes in a twenty billion megaton anti-handwave atomic bomb blast.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 01:00 PM
Magtok looks around, nursing his smite-wound, and remaining oblivious to everything else around him and unaffected by any environmental hazards due to a hand-wave field surrounding him.

Damn, I forgot how much smiting really hurt. But why did Light Junior attack me instead of some freaky goth kid like Saur?

Saurous lowers himself from the ceiling on a rope. He hangs upside down next to Magtok.

"That is because Light Junior is Good, and thus must kill Evil, unless it helps Good that she doesn't kill evil people. I am Evil, and I only attack others who are Evil if it helps me."

Saurous is unaffected by the explosion for some reason.

V Junior
2007-06-10, 01:01 PM
"She probably wanted to annoy me, dear." Junior sighs, and dodges a shortsword flying at her face from the tank. "Thank you for illustrating my point so beautifully, Lightie." Darkie sighs, and climbs down from the rafters.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 01:11 PM
Carlos sighs and handwaves the explosion away.
No one even CARES anymore. :smallfrown: Used to be they'd at least say "oh, I dodge it," or "I teleported away," or some kind of witty response involving ninjas and potatoes, but they just ignore me now.
Well aren't we going to do that big d20 battle thing?
They ignored that too.
What about the Karakoke?
Ignored it.
What about the-
They ignored THAT too. I swear, I could streak around the base and no one would give me so much as an "oh gods, my eyes are on fire."
Then why don't you get the RPG done-
Vespe suddenly bursts into flames.
That's better. :smallbiggrin:

Saurous
2007-06-10, 01:15 PM
Carlos sighs and handwaves the explosion away.
No one even CARES anymore. :smallfrown: Used to be they'd at least say "oh, I dodge it," or "I teleported away," or some kind of witty response involving ninjas and potatoes, but they just ignore me now.
Well aren't we going to do that big d20 battle thing?
They ignored that too.
What about the Karakoke?
Ignored it.
What about the-
They ignored THAT too. I swear, I could streak around the base and no one would give me so much as an "oh gods, my eyes are on fire."
Then why don't you get the RPG done-
Vespe suddenly bursts into flames.
That's better. :smallbiggrin:

"There are a few that still pay attention to you. It's just that many of the others want this place to be as boring as possible.

*coughPMandMagtokcough*
*coughohwaitimeanFusinsteadofMagtokcough*"

PirateMonk
2007-06-10, 01:19 PM
"There are a few that still pay attention to you. It's just that many of the others want this place to be as boring as possible.

*coughPMandMagtokcough*"

"*coughCastarascoughcough*"

PM stabs Rex and Saurous repeatedly until something interesting happens.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 01:22 PM
Saurous dies. His ghost floats nearby.

"See? Can't be original with anything. And when something interesting does happen, you either kill it, steal it, or remove it with your 'DM powers'."

PirateMonk
2007-06-10, 01:26 PM
Saurous dies. His ghost floats nearby.

"See? Can't be original with anything. And when something interesting does happen, you either kill it, steal it, or remove it with your 'DM powers'."

"Or ignore it. Besides, you ranting on how boring this place is certainly doesn't count as 'interesting'."

Saurous
2007-06-10, 01:36 PM
"Well, I've gotten my point across, so I'm going to wait until I can create a new corporeal form now."

PirateMonk
2007-06-10, 01:39 PM
"Here ya go." An exact duplicate of Saurous's body appears. It is entirely identical to Saurous's last body in every way. Saurous amy take control of it at any time.

V Junior
2007-06-10, 01:45 PM
Junior pours petrol on Vespe. "I swear that said 'Water'!" "Whatev- HEADS UP!" "SMITE EVIL! TAKE THAT YOU STUPID EVIL DUDES!"

Suddenly, Light JUnior's mount appears. It's a Yound Adult Saphire Dragon. She mounts it.

"Damn it! Why do you HAVE to have a light side???"

"Who wants to make her Fall?"

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 01:49 PM
I swear, I could streak around the base and no one would give me so much as an "oh gods, my eyes are on fire."

I would probably lodge a chainsaw in my eyes and pour a few of Castara's potions on my head if that ever happened. :smalleek:

Saurous
2007-06-10, 01:53 PM
"Here ya go." An exact duplicate of Saurous's body appears. It is entirely identical to Saurous's last body in every way. Saurous amy take control of it at any time.

"Well, actually I was just-"

Saurous's ghost suddenly becomes corporeal again.

"-waiting for that."

PirateMonk
2007-06-10, 02:16 PM
"Well, actually I was just-"

Saurous's ghost suddenly becomes corporeal again.

"-waiting for that."

"Okay. I'll just keep this then. :smallamused: "

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 03:37 PM
Magtok looks around at some posts, and notices Saur is offline.

Oh goody, the elf is offline. That means he won't be able to stop me.

Magtok takes a pair of knives and sticks them in the eyes of Happiness. He cuts open Saur's head, and shoves a shotgun into the wound, which he fires directly at the necromancer's brain.

That was satisfying. Now I think I'll go watch Super Mario Bros. Z.

Magtok leaves the messy scene, and turns on a computer to go do what he said he would.

Exachix
2007-06-10, 03:44 PM
Exachix appears, groans, and goes to bed, blasting whoever he can see.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 03:44 PM
http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/8602/postapyt5.gif

Check it out, it's my rex from the future.

Yeah, he's based slightly on the Six-String Samurai.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 03:47 PM
Exachix appears, groans, and goes to bed, blasting whoever he can see.

Fortunately, Magtok is just around the corner and out of sight. He casually waves hello to the future-rex, and then returns to watching a flash movie.

CurlyKitGirl
2007-06-10, 03:51 PM
Curly admirres the latest epic piece of art done by Magtok."If I could I could introduce a plot but it'll get handwaved away. Besides more plot happens in my alternate Universe anyway.... I've just realised. I've accidently created a device that sucked what little plot remains here.:smallsigh: Curly walks over to Magtok and watches this film he's been talking about for the last three pages or more 'cos she's nosy"...So, what's it about?"

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 03:57 PM
Curly admirres the latest epic piece of art done by Magtok. Curly walks over to Magtok and watches this film he's been talking about for the last three pages or more 'cos she's nosy"...So, what's it about?"

((When did I make any art? You mean Rex, right?))

Its some movie on newground made by some guy who calls himself Alvin Earthworm. It uses a lot of sprites from Sonic 3 and Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga, and it has a lot of neat actiony scenes.

I wish we had a flash movie guy like that around here. Not that Rex's animation stuff isn't cool too.

CurlyKitGirl
2007-06-10, 03:59 PM
((When did I make any art? You mean Rex, right?))

Its some movie on newground made by some guy who calls himself Alvin Earthworm. It uses a lot of sprites from Sonic 3 and Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga, and it has a lot of neat actiony scenes.

I wish we had a flash movie guy like that around here. Not that Rex's animation stuff isn't cool too.

No, I consider your minor butchery of Saurous to be a small piece of art. However there have been better murders and massacres. I suppose Rex is the true master; especially in the spray of blood. Also, his avatar from the future's cool too.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 04:03 PM
The ghost Saurous floats over to Magtok.

"Jackass."

Castaras
2007-06-10, 04:04 PM
Castaras comes out of the portal, a red and blue potion floating beside her. She looks around to see who's online, changing one of the potions to a bright pink love potion.

As Castaras disappears, a love potion smashes into Magtok's face.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 04:08 PM
No, I consider your minor butchery of Saurous to be a small piece of art.

That thing? I could do way better than that if I wanted to. If I really wanted to put on a show, I'd stick wires in his brain and fry him while using the wires as puppet strings to make him dance the Macarena while launching fireball spells at his own son. :smallamused:

The potion hits Magtok in the face, and he instantly turns his gaze to the offline Junior. He then grabs a moist cloth and tries to carefully remove the shattered glass from his face.


The ghost Saurous floats over to Magtok.

"Jackass."

And proud of it, elf. :smallbiggrin:

Saurous
2007-06-10, 04:18 PM
Saurous becomes corporeal again, and draws out a scalpel and a very large katana. He kills Magtok with the katana, and then cuts a pentagram into Magtok's forehead with the scalpel. He drops the katana, and then casts a spell that causes Magtok to turn into a puddle of melted skin and blood.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 04:25 PM
The next Magtok shows up, and takes a look at the puddle.

Hmm...interesting. If I were you though, I wouldn't have killed the target so quickly. He didn't even get to feel the scalpel against his face. Its alright to make a mess of the corpse, but I always feel its best that the worst of the attack is experienced while the subject is still alive and able to suffer.

Castaras
2007-06-10, 04:26 PM
I dunno, try and actually do something for once and my player has to make me chuck a potion. Idiot.

Castaras reappears, turning to a group of pies.

Go on then. You know what to do.

They run back into the kitchen. Castaras picks up a mirror and blasts some magic into it, before heading into the kitchen after the pies.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 04:28 PM
"Oh, but I'm not done yet."

Saurous raises a hand, and the puddle begins to shift. It rises, and begins to take the form of a human. When he finishes, it appears to be some mix-matched, inside-out Magtok, with the pentagram visible on it's 'forhead'.

"And, it's soul is still technically in that, and that process is unimagninably painful."

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 04:31 PM
"And, it's soul is still technically in that, and that process is unimagninably painful."

I see. But wasn't our soul removed last thread? I distinctly remember you giving some shiny gem to some woman named Death.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 04:31 PM
A killing Contest, Eh?

*Rex Dominates both Magtok and Saurous, He uses Magtok to plant a Spike bomb on Saurous, and Saurous to carve a rune into Magtok's spine. He then uses a bit of magic on the run that makes it burn off Magtok's Skin, but not his Organs or Muscles, he has Magtok then trigger the Spike Bomb and thus piercing many holes into Saurous, He then gathers up all the resulting blood and uses it to form a blade, which he uses the swing Magtok and Saurous into the wall, leaving Splat-marks, bones, and Cyborganic Parts embedded into it's surface.*

Saurous
2007-06-10, 04:35 PM
"Sonuva crap!"

Saurous's ghost floats off, mumbling several vulgar words under his breath.

Castaras
2007-06-10, 04:37 PM
Castaras comes back out of the portal, carrying a roll of wire. She heads up onto the roof with some animated fruit, and starts attaching the wires and stuff.

Mr. Moon
2007-06-10, 04:39 PM
Moon Called watches Cassie for a few moments, then asks "How can you do that without thumbs?"

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 04:39 PM
The next clone shows up, and inspects the mess. He drops a palm into the blood, making sure to get both his and Saur's blood on it. Magtok quietly returns to the lab with his red palm, to try to create some new kind of freak.

Castaras
2007-06-10, 04:42 PM
Castaras looks at Moon Called.

Great...you just reminded my player...

She shifts into a pony again.

Stupid player... :smallmad:

Castaras trots off the roof and into the base. The fruit carry on attaching wires and stuff.

Great...

Saurous
2007-06-10, 04:43 PM
The Saurous part of the blood begins melting Magtok's hand.

Meanwhile, Saurous becomes corporeal again, and walks over to the horrible blood abomination. He takes out a vial of poison out of his belt, and pours it on the Magtok's head. That will hurt.

Mr. Moon
2007-06-10, 04:43 PM
The elf/drow/white bengal tiger winces. "Ohh... Sorry." She mutters.

Castaras
2007-06-10, 04:46 PM
Eh, don't worry about it. Will go away soon, hopefully.

Castaras trots over to the portal, glaring it into closing.

Hmm...and I can't actually do much of my magic...other than...

She summons a massive pie demon and sends it to the roof.

Phew.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 04:47 PM
Don't give a hoot, pollute!
* Rex chugs a bottle of Soda, tosses the empty bottle(Somehow with the Little plastic rings Six-packs of cans come in,) into the ocean, then jumps into his H3 and drives off with open Toxic Waste cans in the back. *

Saurous
2007-06-10, 04:47 PM
"I'm glad my player couldn't get an avatar on time."

Saurous kicks the abomination in the legs, and then walks away from it.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 04:48 PM
The next Magtok clone continues where the other left off, making sure to put the blood in a vial so he doesn't hurt himself. He fails to think of anything to do with the DNA right now, so he stores it away in the cryogenic freezing room for later.

He suddenly turns back into a worm, and curses.

Thanks a lot, MC. :smallannoyed:

Mr. Moon
2007-06-10, 04:50 PM
Moon Called grins at the little worm. "You're welcome."

Castaras
2007-06-10, 05:02 PM
So Saurous hasn't got an inner animal avatar to plague his time in AMEN? Lucky bastard.

A pie comes down into the base.

All done.
Good. Guard it.
'Righty.

The pie heads back onto the roof.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 05:06 PM
So Saurous hasn't got an inner animal avatar to plague his time in AMEN? Lucky bastard.

We can still make jokes about Saurina. Here's (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-34553.html) the thread where *giggles* she appeared.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 05:06 PM
So Saurous hasn't got an inner animal avatar to plague his time in AMEN? Lucky bastard.

A pie comes down into the base.

All done.
Good. Guard it.
'Righty.

The pie heads back onto the roof.

"For once, I'm glad my player is a lazy bastard!"

"HEY!"


We can still make jokes about Saurina. Here's (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-34553.html) the thread where *giggles* she appeared.

"Shut. The. F***. Up."

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 05:07 PM
Carlos pulls out an electric guitar.
I didn't know you had an electric guitar.
I do. And I am going to learn how to play it.
You would if you weren't too busy playing Guitar Hero, you mean. :smallamused:
Shut up.
Or what? You'll-
Vespe gets lightning'd.
Oh, that.

Castaras
2007-06-10, 05:10 PM
We can still make jokes about Saurina. Here's (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-34553.html) the thread where *giggles* she appeared.

Oh yeah...that was funny. :smallamused:

Although maybe I shouldn't say anything...since some of the stuff there can be used against me I think...

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 05:13 PM
Oh yeah...that was funny. :smallamused:

Although maybe I shouldn't say anything...since some of the stuff there can be used against me I think...

Oh yeah Cas. Especially the time you...heheh...
Vespe bursts out laughing and fails to finish his sentence.
Um, is there actually anything you're thinking of?
Hehe....no. :smallfrown:
I thought so.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 05:19 PM
Oh yeah Cas. Especially the time you...heheh...
Vespe bursts out laughing and fails to finish his sentence.
Um, is there actually anything you're thinking of?
Hehe....no. :smallfrown:
I thought so.

What about CasMantaras? :smalltongue:

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 05:20 PM
http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n291/rexidiotarum/Magtok.gif
Hehehehee


Hehehe,,,, That too.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 05:22 PM
Hehehe,,,, That too.

Saurous bursts out laughing.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 05:23 PM
What about CasMantaras? :smalltongue:

I don't think I was around when that happened....

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 05:25 PM
Saurous bursts out laughing.

Magtok takes a giant pencil from nowhere, and uses it to wipe away the avatar. He then has his player handwave the current subject of conversation away.


I don't think I was around when that happened....

I suppose that would explain why you adore Castaras so much. Wait...was that supposed to be a secret?

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 05:31 PM
I suppose that would explain why you adore Castaras so much. Wait...was that supposed to be a secret?

Eh, it doesn't really matter anymore. Everyone already knows anyway.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 05:40 PM
So I don't get chainsawed out of rage? Yay!

Hmm...things are getting a little boring around here. Wanna smack Saur around with your +3 stick?

zeratul
2007-06-10, 05:44 PM
Zeratul stands remmenissing "I remember plot, plot was so nice, organized *sigh*"

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 05:44 PM
So I don't get chainsawed out of rage? Yay!

Hmm...things are getting a little boring around here. Wanna smack Saur around with your +3 stick?

To answer both your questions, I don't really feel like beating Saurous, and you get chainsawed out of boredom, not rage.
Vespe chainsaws Magtok out of boredom.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 05:52 PM
Magtok comes out of the cloning labs, spots Vespe wielding a chainsaw, and decides at that very moment to dedicate the rest of his life to avenging...nah. He ignores the mess and tries to watch TV.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 05:55 PM
This trailer (http://youtube.com/watch?v=KIWsMKZt3Eg) comes on.
((Sorry Magtok, I know you can't watch it, but I really think the other Associates would think it's funny. It's-

A Hard Days Night of the Living Dead. It's basically mixed footage of A Hard Days Night with Night of the Living Dead set to the Beatles music.))

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 05:56 PM
Zeratul stands remmenissing "I remember plot, plot was so nice, organized *sigh*"
Lies, I've been heere since the beginning, and there has yet to be an organized plot!
We haven't really had an Organic Plot either. Synthetic all the way.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 06:00 PM
All right, who else is convinced the Town is dead and gone?
Vespe raises his hand.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 06:18 PM
Magtok looks at the Town subforum and raises his hand.

Wow, I never thought I'd see this day come. Do you know what this means? I can add another thing to the list of important playground events I was around to see!

Magtok takes out a small list. Written already on it is:
EVIL vs. AMEN
Birth of AMEN
The Cookie Revolution

Mr. Moon
2007-06-10, 06:25 PM
Saphire glances at the Town. "Meh. I rarely post there anyway."

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 06:45 PM
Hmm...maybe in a week or two we should all head there in a thread called "Ding-Dong the Town is Dead!" and dance on the graves of the forgotten Townies?

It'd be fun, but we'd have to run back here once they get mad and start chasing us with torches and pitchforks. :smallbiggrin:

Mr. Moon
2007-06-10, 06:48 PM
Saphire grins. "Sounds like fun."

"I'm not gonna do that, you know."

"I know. I'll use your Town version."

"Oh, that phsycopathic drow? Go ahead."

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 07:01 PM
Hmm...the thread just got really quiet. Are we the only one here? :smallconfused:

Yup. Just you, me, Saphire, and MC.

Should I start looking for a place to hide before she gets bored? :smalleek:

Sure, there's a mousehole on your left, though I doubt you can squirm away fast enough. :smallamused:

Mr. Moon
2007-06-10, 07:03 PM
Saphire looks at the mousehole, then at her (computer) mouse. "How could a mouse make a hole like that?"

"Not that kind of - You know what? Never mind."

Saurous
2007-06-10, 07:05 PM
Saphire looks at the mousehole, then at her (computer) mouse. "How could a mouse make a hole like that?"

"Not that kind of - You know what? Never mind."

"Please tell me that she said that on purpose, just to make a joke?"

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 07:06 PM
Magtok begins squirming towards the hole, and as he dashes away, he notices Saur's light turn back on.

Oh crap, now they're both here! :smalleek:

Mr. Moon
2007-06-10, 07:07 PM
Moon Called looks at Saphire, then shrugs. "Somehow, I think she's serrious."

Saphire continues examining her mouse. "I suppose it could click repetitivly."

((Mom wants on, see ya tomarow.))

Saurous
2007-06-10, 07:09 PM
Moon Called looks at Saphire, then shrugs. "Somehow, I think she's serrious."

Saphire continues examining her mouse. "I suppose it could click repetitivly."

((Mom wants on, see ya tomarow.))

"For some reason, I'm not- Saurous tosses a knife at Magtok. -surprised."

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 07:12 PM
The knife cuts Magtok in half, but he continues squirming until he finally reaches the mousehole. When he gets there, the mouse who lives there eats him.

Oops. I probably should've told him a rabid worm-hating mouse lived in there.

zeratul
2007-06-10, 07:14 PM
Zeratul suddenly leaps in to liven up the thread. He hugs moon called, smashes a molotav cocktail on Magtok, and shakes hands with Saurous. "Odd day isn't it?"

Saurous
2007-06-10, 07:17 PM
"Yes, yes it is."

As Zeratul shakes his hand, a wave of comes from Saurous's hand and begins peeling Zeratul's skin off.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 07:21 PM
The next Magtok clone shows up, slaps Saphire and SP, and then points at the epic saga thread. He also wonders why MC's light is still on after she said she had to go.

((Nevermind, its off now.))

Saurous
2007-06-10, 07:33 PM
SP handwaves a grenade into the Magtok clone's skull.

"Hitting a player is not the best idea."

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 07:39 PM
Magtok dies horribly, and his player has to make a will save to avoid making a lame joke about how SP "Totally blew his mind."

Saurous
2007-06-10, 07:50 PM
Saurous sighs, and waves a hand at the blood abomination/Magtok. It collapses back into a puddle of blood.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 08:03 PM
Magtok's player decides to not have the next Magtok clone show up just yet. Instead, he handwaves a pair of rifles into existence, tosses one to Saur, and opens up a portal to the Pokemon world.

I'm bored. Lets go Pokemon-hunting.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 08:04 PM
"You know Saphire would murder us both if we actually go through with this, right? I don't want to deal with her violence/whining."

zeratul
2007-06-10, 08:05 PM
I'd be cool with that. I love the smell of fried pokemon in the mornin!

((My Pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard
And their like, you wanna trade cards?
damn right, I wanna trade cards
I will trade this, but not my charizard...)) teeheeeheee:smallbiggrin:

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 08:05 PM
* Rex loads his 12-Gadge *
I'mma gonna bag me a Pikachu.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 08:12 PM
"You know Saphire would murder us both if we actually go through with this, right? I don't want to deal with her violence/whining."

I'm a player. I can just handwave my death away. :smallamused:

MP runs through the portal, where he hunts both wild and privately owned Pokemon and their trainers.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 08:18 PM
Rex chatrges through the portal after MP, hunting Pokemon with deadly accuracy.

zeratul
2007-06-10, 08:19 PM
Zeratul goes through the portal attacking pokemon with a giant blender. He thens drinks the contents of the blender.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 08:21 PM
"Eh."

Saurous follows after the others, and begins effectively killing several Pokemon.

PirateMonk
2007-06-10, 08:22 PM
PM wanders by, carrying rapid fire missile launcher.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 09:04 PM
Magtok's player activates off the almighty bump warhead, a nuke that will utterly destroy the thread and everyone who has ever been there if nobody posts in the next ten minutes.

Muhahahahahaha! Now they shall all pay for these long and boring silences!

Wait...won't it be even quieter when everyone's dead? And what's gonna stop them from handwaving your nuke away?

...Damn you! I thought I finally came up with a foolproof plan to eradicate AMEN! :smallfrown:

Why the hell would you want to do that?

Umm...I forgot.

Idiot.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 09:06 PM
I walk by and Handwave the warhead away.
Players, be-yoch.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 09:12 PM
MP handwaves the nuke back and yells something about wanting a third person to resum eposting before he'll give up on this idiotic plot to destroy AMEN.

zeratul
2007-06-10, 09:21 PM
Zeratul attempts to assassinate Magtok, in an attempt to stop AMEN's destruction.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 09:26 PM
MP cries when he finds Magtok's corpse, and feels guilty for causing the death of someone who had noting to do with his evil plan. He vows to never again try to do such a ridiculous thing like destroy AMEN.

Uberblah
2007-06-10, 09:31 PM
Uber wakes up and pulls the book down from his face just in time to see the killing.
Wow, talk about good timing.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 09:35 PM
Carlos slumps in his seat.
Whatcha doing?
Nothing.
Why aren't you working on that cool campaign setting idea you had?
'Cause I'm lazy.
What about the AMEN RPG?
Stuck trying to think of more skills.
Playing the guitar?
Too lazy to grab my music book in the other room.
Why aren't you playing Guitar Hero?
Because I'm on teh intarwebs.
Why are you on the internet?
Because I wanted to write something to put on my DA.
Why aren't you doing that?
Because the only good idea I have right now has to do with my neat campaign setting idea.
Why aren't you writing it?
Because people would say it's a ripoff of Shadowrun, despite the fact that it's really different.
Why would people say that?
Because to most people, Magic + Technology = Shadowrun.
Why do you suppose that is?
Because people are stupid.
Why are people stupid?
Because LIGHTNING BOLT.
Vespe gets lightning'd.
I see your point.
Indeed.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 09:39 PM
Magtok gets bored, and decides to hand Carlos a random link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=av6fWfmugds&NR=1) to entertain him while he tries to think of skills for the RPG.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 09:45 PM
THEY'RE
MAKING
A
THOR
MOVIE?!?!?
*GLEE*
Since when have you been a Thor reader?
Dude, he's a superhero, and he's Thor. How can it NOT be awesome?
True that.
Plus Ares might be in it! :smallbiggrin:
You mean....
Yep.
SPARTAAAAA!

Uberblah
2007-06-10, 09:50 PM
Uber's player realizes that he wasn't reading correctly when posting the previous post. He reads the three posts above and gets all excited about the new movie. Uber just shakes his head in disgust.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 09:51 PM
Superman might actually fight a super villain in his next movie! :smallbiggrin:

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 09:52 PM
Wait a minute...Magtok, I thought you couldn't watch this stuff because your internet sucked! What's going on here?

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 09:55 PM
Streaming. Magtok finally learned that he can watch it, it just takes.... F....o...r....e...v...e...r....

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 09:56 PM
Wait a minute...Magtok, I thought you couldn't watch this stuff because your internet sucked! What's going on here?

I watched the first forty seconds of it, and then gave up. My internet took about ten minutes to get me forty seconds. Only forty bleepin' seconds. :smallfrown:

zeratul
2007-06-10, 09:56 PM
THEY'RE
MAKING
A
THOR
MOVIE?!?!?
*GLEE*
Since when have you been a Thor reader?
Dude, he's a superhero, and he's Thor. How can it NOT be awesome?
True that.
Plus Ares might be in it! :smallbiggrin:
You mean....
Yep.
SPARTAAAAA!

Where did you find out the thing with Ares?

Uberblah
2007-06-10, 09:58 PM
Uber watches the morons with a smile. He knows to keep his excitement to himself so he doesn't look as stupid as Vespe right now.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 09:58 PM
I feel sorry for you Magtok. I'd love to brag right here about how my computer and internet are freaking awesome, but I'm feeling something almost like pity towards you. Here. Have a cookie. This ones not poisoned or anything, but if you want any more I'll have to steal them from Cassie's kitchen, and gods know what those will have in them.
*hands Magtok one certified non posioned or anything cookie*


Where did you find out the thing with Ares?

I don't know for certain, but I do know Ares is a villain in the Thor universe, so it could happen.

Lord Magtok
2007-06-10, 10:04 PM
Magtok reaches to take the cookie, but his player suddenly dives in the way, steals the cookie in slow-motion, and then swallows it whole.

Why the hell did you have to do that? That was the thread's only good cookie! :smallfrown:

Umm...I was hungry. :smallbiggrin:

For that, I'm going to kill you in your sleep tonight. Jerk.

Saurous
2007-06-10, 10:07 PM
Magtok reaches to take the cookie, but his player suddenly dives in the way, steals the cookie in slow-motion, and then swallows it whole.

Why the hell did you have to do that? That was the thread's only good cookie! :smallfrown:

Umm...I was hungry. :smallbiggrin:

For that, I'm going to kill you in your sleep tonight. Jerk.

"You are not a very good assassin, Magtok. You're not supposed to tell your victim when you're going to kill them. You're supposed to strike when they least-" Saurous abruptly snaps Vespe's neck. "-expect it. Thank you for being my example, Vespe."

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 10:13 PM
No problem Saur!
Vespe stands up and twists his neck back into position.
Dammit, now I'm gonna have to go into....The Kitchen!
Dun dun duuuunnnn!
Carlos teleports to the Completely Overstocked Armory and back, armed with assault rifles, bazookas, over-enchanted melee weapons of all types, and armor composed of leather, mail, power armor, etc.
If I don't come back alive, stay the hell away from my dice bag.
Carlos kicks open the door and sprays machine gun fire across the room, then charges in.
Leeerrooooyyy Jeennnnkkinns!

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 10:17 PM
Di-did he just go in there?

@#$%! Move it, move it!

*Rex charges into the kitchen after Carlos. *

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 10:19 PM
Carlos pulls out a greatsword and cleaves through legions of pie soldiers.
Great Cleave! Great Cleave! Great Cleave! Dammit Rex if I hear one word out of you I'm going to Great Cleave! your kidneys!

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 10:23 PM
* Rex summons Dancing Chains to begin to rip apart the savage pastries. He hurls a few fireballs at some of the larger pies. *

C'mon, we just have to break a hole in the line to the Refrigerator, and grasp the cookie jar. I'll keep the place open. Go!

Uberblah
2007-06-10, 10:24 PM
Uber follows after Carlos and Rex, since he's never been inside the kitchen. Seeing all the food warriors, he calls into play his trusty nail-gun. He starts shooting all the foodstuffs that come at him, all of them ending up nailed to a wall.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 10:25 PM
Right! All right, just got to...
A giant huge Colossal pie soldier stomps in, carrying a *whatever is bigger than Colossal* greatsword.
Mommy.
Carlos jumps up and does a really long and intricate (but really cool looking) anime/Final Fantasy style attack.
The pie collapses, and Carlos rushes over it towards the fridge.

Uberblah
2007-06-10, 10:28 PM
Uber sees the objective of the group and fires at the pies attacking at Carlos. They end up against the wall behind the fridge, kicking and squirming.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 10:28 PM
*Rex hurls quite a bit of lightning across the room. *

You're really lucky Cassie isn't on, or we'd be toast.

Uberblah
2007-06-10, 10:30 PM
Uber's player thanks the gods that Cassie isn't on.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 10:31 PM
Suddenly whatever is controlling all the pies begin to zerg rush with the Colossal pies.
Oh #^*$. All right guys, we are officially screwed.
No Carlos, it's not all lost yet!
It's not?
No! The moral of this episode is teamwork, and to represent that, everyones giant robot can combine into a super robot!
We have giant robots?
Evidently.
You've been watching Super Freakin' Parody Rangers too many times. All right then, robots, come together!
Come Together by The Beatles starts playing, and then Carlos is in command of a freakin' huge robot.
I love Super Freakin' Parody Rangers.
Carlos begins crushing all the pies that stand between him and the cookies.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 10:34 PM
Stop wasting your time, just grab the pot and Run, you won't destroy them all!

*The Colossal++ Oven starts to move.*
Get the hell out of here, now!

Uberblah
2007-06-10, 10:34 PM
Uber ditches the nail gun for a large welding torch.
Let's over cook some pies.
That's exactly what he does and some of the colossal pies burn up and crumble to the ground.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-10, 10:58 PM
Carlos grabs the cookie jar and retreats as the Kitchen explodes.
While that was cool...Cassie is going to hate this.
Carlos writes a small note and tacks it to what remains of the kitchen.


Castaras,
I totally did this and Carlos is not to blame in the least
Rex

Rex Idiotarum
2007-06-10, 11:01 PM
Rex, now dressed as Gandalf separates the Giant Oven and the rest of the Party.
"Run, now, the path is open!" He turns to the Giant Oven, "You shall not pass!"

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 12:09 AM
*casts Anti-Robotics Field, Anti-Insanity Field, Anti-Undead and Semi-Undead (liches, too) Field, Anti-Animal Field, Anti-Plushie Field, Anti-Bad Spelling and Grammar Field, Anti-Meerkat (and people who have something to do with them) Field, Anti-Ghost Field, Anti-People with an avatar that is not Fus.Weapon 1337, Anti-People without an avatar that is not Fus.Weapon 1337, Anti-Spartan Field, Anti-Teleportation Field, Anti-Clone and Resurrection Field, and pretty much every other field that is the bane of everyone in AMEN (and not in AMEN) that is not Fus, Lifebane, or Castaras*

*Casts Anti-Field Dispel too*

Everyone! Melt to ashes!

Korith
2007-06-11, 07:17 AM
*Shapechanges into Castaras*

*Stabs Fus in the back*

You first.

Saurous
2007-06-11, 07:56 AM
*casts Anti-Robotics Field, Anti-Insanity Field, Anti-Undead Field, Anti-Animal Field, Anti-Plushie Field, Anti-Bad Spelling and Grammar Field, Anti-People with an avatar that is not Fus.Weapon 1337, Anti-People without an avatar that is not Fus.Weapon 1337, Anti-Spartan Field, and pretty much every other field that is the bane of everyone in AMEN (and not in AMEN) that is not Fus, Lifebane, or Castaras*

*Casts Anti-Field Dispel too*

Everyone! Melt to ashes!

"You know? That would actually be kind of bad if you actually specified how big the fields were."

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 11:22 AM
Carlos sits down on the couch, with the cookie jar in his hand.
Yay, cookies!
He eats one.
And not poisoned or anything either! I think the jar is bottomless! I've found it! I've found the infinite cookie jar!
You do realize that Castaras and Lizzie are going to murder us for destroying their kitchen and stealing the cookie jar, right?
We'll cross that bridge when she signs on, my friend.
You mean, run across as many bridges as possible as fast as we can, burning them behind us?
Yeah pretty much. Cookie?
Sure.

V Junior
2007-06-11, 11:56 AM
"I've got it this time guys!"
"Uh oh." Darkie hides in the rafters.
"Here goes!" Junior drinks an odd liquid. Suddenly, about ten thousand Juniors appear, squabbling. Ther's a few that Victoria's bother to name: Happy Junior, Angry Junior, Demonic Junior, Celestial Junior, Unlucky Junior, Luckly Junior, Rich Junior, Poor Junior, Neteral Junior, Mad Junior, Mad Scientist Junior. That's all the new ones that are named.

"Who wants me to smite the idiot?"
"I do Light Junior."
"NOT MY FAUL- WHO TURNED THE COKE TAP ON???" "Oh no. :eek:"

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 11:59 AM
"You know? That would actually be kind of bad if you actually specified how big the fields were."

15 by 15 cubed.

Miles.


*Shapechanges into Castaras*

*Stabs Fus in the back*

You first.

*dagger phases through*
Hey! Genius! Non-Solid!

Saurous
2007-06-11, 12:07 PM
"So, we'll basically be flu-"

Saurous is suddenly flung through a wall, and flies until he reaches the end of the barriers.

"-ung 15 miles."

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 12:13 PM
No, these are different Fields. They kill anything inside it that fits the description.

V Junior
2007-06-11, 12:15 PM
"Actually, Saur, 5x5=25, not 15. So we've been flung 25 miles. Ow." "That was the one time when being smart was a bad idea, you idiot." "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 12:19 PM
Damnit Junior, stop stretching the page!
Carlos pulls out a spoiler and throws it on Juniors page stretching text.

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 12:21 PM
"Actually, Saur, 5x5=25, not 15. So we've been flung 25 miles. Ow." "That was the one time when being smart was a bad idea, you idiot." "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I said, 15 by 15 miles cubed. Not 5x5 miles.

*sigh*


"It's 15 miles by 15 miles. That means it is 15 miles wide, and 15 miles long. The fields have a volume of 3375 miles cubed, correct?"

Yeah, something like that. Oh, and it's more of a dome, actually; the ends are solid. No escaping for you.

And, why aren't you dead yet?

Saurous
2007-06-11, 12:24 PM
"Wait. If we were in the center of the fields, we'd only be sent flying 7.5 miles, as we're supposed to measure the radius, instead of the diameter."

"Why do you even care anymore? You're supposed to be dead."

"Oh, right."

Saurous abruptly dies, via the effects of the fields.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 12:25 PM
I'm in the giant robot.
Me too.
The giant robot abruptly crushes Fus.

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 12:28 PM
I'm in the giant robot.
Me too.
The giant robot abruptly crushes Fus.

Non-Solid. Sorry. :smalltongue:

The Fields phase machinery. And, I'm pretty sure the first Field I set down was "Anti-Robotics Field."

Yes, it is.


"Wait. If we were in the center of the fields, we'd only be sent flying 7.5 miles, as we're supposed to measure the radius, instead of the diameter."

"Why do you even care anymore? You're supposed to be dead."

"Oh, right."

Saurous abruptly dies, via the effects of the fields.

*rips out Saurous's heart and devours it hungrily*

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 12:32 PM
No, I've been watching this flash animation called Go Go Parody Rangers way too many times. This is one of those freaky bio-mechanical-friendship-powered Zord things.
It's powered by our teamwork!
Carlos abruptly slaps Vespe.
I'm only in the giant robot because of the parody flash. Still don't like Power Rangers.
Fine...but, you have to admit, that it's pretty safe from the anti robot field.
Indeed. Now where's that freaky super cannon that can destroy non solid stuff?
Right arm.
Cool.
Carlos fires the cannon at maximum power right where Fus. is.

V Junior
2007-06-11, 12:35 PM
"I stretched AMEN?! Nice!" Junior leaves to do music practise and such.

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 12:36 PM
*cannon phases through*

Non...solid...

Really! Will you ever learn that I CAN'T BE HARMED??!

*anti-robotics field decimates robot*

*other fields kill Vespe and whoever the hell Carlos is*

Saurous
2007-06-11, 12:36 PM
SP slaps Junior in the back of the head.

"Spoiler it!"

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 12:37 PM
SP slaps Junior in the back of the head.

"Spoiler it!"

SP...? Who?

Oh, Junior, you're dead too.

Saurous
2007-06-11, 12:39 PM
"Saurous's Player."

SP sighs, and then raises a hand.

"Fus, when you say you're non-solid, do you mean as in gaseous, or as in ghost-like?"

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 12:42 PM
"Saurous's Player."

SP sighs, and then raises a hand.

"Fus, when you say you're non-solid, do you mean as in gaseous, or as in ghost-like?"

Gaseous.

Oh. You should be dead, too.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 12:46 PM
Carlos is my player.
Let's see, how can we get out of dying...
To France?
Sounds good to me.
The two teleport to France.

Saurous
2007-06-11, 12:47 PM
Gaseous.

Oh. You should be dead, too.

"Too bad."

Saurous's player walks over to a table, and picks up a very complicated piece of machinery. He holds out what appears to be a nozzle, aims it at Fus, and then turns on the machine.

"This is essintially an air-tight vacuum cleaner capable of taking in any gaseous material and changing it into solid, or at least liquid.

No save."

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 12:48 PM
Carlos is my player.
Let's see, how can we get out of dying...
To France?
Sounds good to me.
The two teleport to France.

Nope. Anti-Teleportation Field, too. :smallamused:


"Too bad."

Saurous's player walks over to a table, and picks up a very complicated piece of machinery. He holds out what appears to be a nozzle, aims it at Fus, and then turns on the machine.

"This is essentially an air-tight vacuum cleaner capable of taking in any gaseous material and changing it into solid, or at least liquid.

No save."

*form shifts into solid*

NOW I'm a solid.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 12:52 PM
Well....$&*#.
Carlos collapses dead.
At least this way Cassie and Lizzie can't kill us...
Vespe collapses dead as well.
Their spirits rise from their bodies.
So we're ghosts now?
Evidently so.
Niiice.

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 12:54 PM
Well....$&*#.
Carlos collapses dead.
At least this way Cassie and Lizzie can't kill us...
Vespe collapses dead as well.
Their spirits rise from their bodies.
So we're ghosts now?
Evidently so.
Niiice.

Oh, the ghosts die too. Anti-Ghost Field.

*rips out Carlos's and Vespe's hearts and eat them, too*

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 12:56 PM
Dammit.
Carlos spirit vanishes.
Fus, you son of a-
Vespe's spirit vanishes as well.

Saurous
2007-06-11, 12:56 PM
"Quit adding goddamned fields as you go along!"

Saurous chimes in for a bit of ghostly advice.

"Ghosts don't 'die'. They are merely destroyed, and whatever is left of them moves on to the next realm."

Saurous sighs, and walks off, obviously not wanting to be a part of this any longer. SP follows.

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 12:59 PM
"Quit adding goddamned fields as you go along!"

Saurous chimes in for a bit of ghostly advice.

"Ghosts don't 'die'. They are merely destroyed, and whatever is left of them moves on to the next realm."

Saurous sighs, and walks off, obviously not wanting to be a part of this any longer. SP follows.

Oh no you don't.

*holds Saurous at gunpoint*
*SP, too*

Saurous
2007-06-11, 01:03 PM
"Ghost Form."

Saurous phases through Fus, and then floats away.

SP kicks Fus in the groin, and runs off.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 01:03 PM
That's it!
Carlos walks in, surrounded by an anti-field field.
You're going down Fus!
Carlos rips out Fus. heart and stabs it.
Now I'M the captain of the Dutchman...er, I mean, the fields should be gone.
The fields vanish.

Castaras
2007-06-11, 01:05 PM
Castaras comes out of the kitchen, big pie demons following her.

You are very lucky that I was offline. But you are unlucky that I am online now, as are you, Vespe Ratavo.

She moves back to let the big pie demon's pass. She starts to open a portal to the pudding plane.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 01:07 PM
Oh #&**$#&$(*%&(*#&(#*@(*#$(#*&!@#)^)(^($^).
Woah. Never heard that one before.
Run!
Carlos runs as fast as he can.
Wait for me you #&**$#&$(*%&(*#&(#*@(*#$(#*&!@#)^)(^($^)!
That's not a noun!
The two flee the base as fast as they possibly can, Carlos still carrying the cookie jar.

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 01:08 PM
That's it!
Carlos walks in, surrounded by an anti-field field.
You're going down Fus!
Carlos rips out Fus. heart and stabs it.
Now I'M the captain of the Dutchman...er, I mean, the fields should be gone.
The fields vanish.

No, they don't.

I don't have a heart to stab. And, the fields only vanish if I die, which is nigh on impossible.

Lifebane
HP: 9999
MP: 9999

[FIGHT] <-
[MAGIC]
[ITEM]
[RUN]

*slash, slash, slash, slash*

*1680*

Castaras
2007-06-11, 01:10 PM
The portal opens, and Castaras heads back into the kitchen, not watching the hundreds and thousands of pie creatures pouring out of the open pudding portal.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 01:13 PM
We can't outrun them!
There's too many of them!
Beam me up Scotty!
Vespe, this isn't Star Trek, there is no Enterprise waiting to beam us up, and the actor who played Scotty is dead! If you think, we're going to be magically beamed up onto-
The two are suddenly beamed up onto the Enterprise.
You were saying...:smalltongue:
I'm never going to hear the end of this, am I? :smallannoyed:
Nope.
Thought so. Scotty, warp factor nine.
The ship flies away at nine times the speed of light.

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 01:15 PM
Damn. Well, at least I still managed to get 3 hearts eaten.

Saurous
2007-06-11, 01:16 PM
"That reminds me."

Saurous floats over to Fus, reaches a spectral hand into the shapeshifter's stomach, and takes his heart back. He then floats to his chambers.

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-06-11, 01:18 PM
Whatever. I'm going to go play Starcraft II.

Castaras
2007-06-11, 01:18 PM
The pie creatures carry on wandering round the base, and those that had chased after Carlos and Vespe wander back in.

Castaras comes back out of the portal, very very angry. Lizzie, on the other hand, carries on laughing.

Grr...stupid little...And what is so funny for you, eh?

Hehe...nothing, just that expression...

You're my player. Hand wave the two back.

Nah...its too amusing seeing you grumpy like that. :smallbiggrin:

Right that does it...

Castaras glares at Lizzie, and casts something at her. Suddenly, Lizzie is in the place of Castaras, and Castaras is sitting at the keyboard, grinning.

(( Now lets see how you like it...:smallamused: ))

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 01:23 PM
Hurrgh!
Carlos collapses on the bridge.
What happened?
A terrible scream...as if all the Associates cried out in pain, and were suddenly silenced.
You mean....
Castaras and Lizzie have switched places.
What do we do?
We either continue to flee at very very high speeds, or go back.
I like the first idea better.
Me too. Warp factor 14.
But Cap'n, that'll rip tha ship apart!
There are worse fates than death, Mr. Scott. Warp 14.
Aye Cap'n.

Castaras
2007-06-11, 01:33 PM
Lizzie looks around the base.

Crap. Now what? :smallannoyed:

(( You stay there. Taking whatever I attack you with. :smallamused: ))

Double crap. :smalleek:

Lizzie runs past the pie demons, and gets lightning bolted. A clone walks in, and gets attacked by some pie bugs. She runs like hell out the base.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 01:39 PM
Carlos watches this all through a monitor on the Enterprise.
My mind is split. On one hand, it's kind of funny to watch Lizzie get attacked by Castaras. On the other hand, maybe we should help her out.
Hell no. I'm NOT going back there.
Well what are we going to do then? Just keep flying away for the rest of AMEN's existence?
Probably longer.
Screw that, we should head back.
No, I don't think we should.
Yeah well... VULCAN MIND CRUSH!
What the...dude, you're getting your science fiction universes mixed up.
True. Still, maybe we should head back.
But come on, this is hilarious!
Vespe points Carlos towards the monitor.
Yeah, let's head back.
Give me one good reason.
There'll be high budget action scenes, and lots of stuff to kill.
Bootlegger reverse, Mr. Scott.
Aye sir.

Castaras
2007-06-11, 01:44 PM
A pie elemental picks up Lizzie and chucks her into the kitchen.

Hmm...this is quite fun actually...

Castaras sends a bolt of lightening into a group of pie elementals, fusing them into more elementals that gradually get bigger and bigger.

And the player powers are pretty awesome.

Lizzie searches through the strangely empty kitchen, trying to find some kind of weapons.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 01:50 PM
The Enterprise crashes into the base, and Carlos and Vespe leap out.
You need to work on your piloting, methinks.
It's not like you do any better.
All right, so what now?
We need to split up. You head to the armory, and I'll....um...hm...
Try distracting the pie elementals.
Since when is pie an element?
I don't know, just go already!
Vespe walks up to one of the elementals.
Mr. Pie? You're under arrest for impersonating an element.
Idiot...

Castaras
2007-06-11, 01:53 PM
The pie looks at Vespe, and hits him on the head with a massive fist.

Lizzie comes back out of the kitchen, carrying a massive potion pistol.

Now how the hell do these things work...Ah!

She starts disintegrating the pie elementals.

Korith
2007-06-11, 01:56 PM
*Transmutes potion of pie dissolving into potion of pie growth*

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 02:02 PM
Carlos rushes in, watching the pies grow.
Oh, that reminds me. Look what I found.
Carlos pulls out the Infinite Ammo Chicago Typewriter.
Heheh...
Carlos begins firing at pie elementals.
Vespe limps in.
What took you so long?
These pies are resisting arrest.
I see.

Castaras
2007-06-11, 02:08 PM
Lizzie drops the gun, glaring at Korith.

Hmm...

She runs back into the kitchen, grabbing a strange symbol. She comes back out, brandishing the symbol in front of her.

My apologies, Dancing Man... Back, pies! Back, to the oven whence you came!

Korith
2007-06-11, 02:16 PM
With a raised eyebrow,

*Korith transmutes the symbol into a serpent*

Castaras
2007-06-11, 02:26 PM
Lizzie drops the serpent, backing away.

Eeep...snakes...:smalleek:

She runs back into the kitchen.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 02:27 PM
* shoots the snake *
I'm...
Don't say it.
I'm...
Don't say it...
I'm...
For gods' sake man, don't!
SICK OF THESE MOTHER#&*#ING SNAKES IN THIS MOTHER#(@ING BASE!

Saurous
2007-06-11, 02:44 PM
Saurous walks in, corporeal again, holding a still-beating heart that isn't his own.

"So it is possible to do that...heheheh..."

He glances about, teleports the heart away, and sighs.

"Castaras swapped places with Lizzie as the player, and is now causing havoc, right?"

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 02:48 PM
Yep. So then we crashed a starship, killed pies, and quoted Snakes on a Plane.

Castaras
2007-06-11, 02:52 PM
Lizzie peeks out of the kitchen.

So the snake seems to have been killed...the pies are just wandering about randomly...safe...

She comes out of the kitchen, holding a potion pistol.

Castaras, get back down here now.
No, I think I'll stay up here. Much safer.
I'll make your life hell when I become the player again.
What makes you think you'll come out of there, eh?
I'll work something out. :smallannoyed:
Hehehe...

Saurous
2007-06-11, 02:53 PM
Yep. So then we crashed a starship, killed pies, and quoted Snakes on a Plane.

"No more mother#@&(ing snakes in this mother%$#@ing base?"

Korith
2007-06-11, 02:54 PM
*Casts Reduce Person on Lizzie*

*Followed by Protection from Player Wrath*

HEY, WHEN DID YOU GET THAT ONE?

*Korith sticks out his tongue*

Castaras
2007-06-11, 02:59 PM
Lizzie shrinks to the size of an ant. She says some unrepeatable stuff about Korith's parents, before making her slow way back towards the kitchen.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-06-11, 03:05 PM
Lizzie peeks out of the kitchen.

So the snake seems to have been killed...the pies are just wandering about randomly...safe...

She comes out of the kitchen, holding a potion pistol.

Castaras, get back down here now.
No, I think I'll stay up here. Much safer.
I'll make your life hell when I become the player again.
What makes you think you'll come out of there, eh?
I'll work something out. :smallannoyed:
Hehehe...

Having some player troubles are we? Need some help?

Saurous
2007-06-11, 03:11 PM
"Oy vey."

Saurous snaps his fingers, and SP, up wherever Castaras is, shoots a tranquilizer dart at the rampant half drow.

Castaras
2007-06-11, 03:18 PM
Castaras handwaves it out of existance.

Interesting powers.

She turns to look behind her in the real world.

Holy $*@! :eek:

Reappearing back in the base, Castaras runs into the kitchen to find some acid. Lizzie watches her.

Hmm...

Exachix
2007-06-11, 03:19 PM
"Why is her player here?"

Exachix has arrived.

"And she's trying to run"

He casts Dimension Lock.

Saurous
2007-06-11, 05:55 PM
Saurous casts Banish Silence.

"Quick, someone do something funny to get the thread started again."

Lord Magtok
2007-06-11, 06:05 PM
Carlos pulls out a greatsword and cleaves through legions of pie soldiers.
Great Cleave! Great Cleave! Great Cleave! Dammit Rex if I hear one word out of you I'm going to Great Cleave! your kidneys!

Hehehehe...Vespe has boobies. :smallbiggrin:

Saurous
2007-06-11, 06:08 PM
Saurous slaps his forhead.

"That is not what I meant."