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ImNotTrevor
2016-02-27, 06:06 AM
Let's come up with stupid/worthless magic items and sci-fi devices. I was inspired by a similar thread on /tg/ and want to see what kinds of things the Playground can come up with.

These items need not have rules. Most of them are stupid puns. This is just for giggles.
[NOTE: Items need not literally be totally useless. Just stupid and funny.]

1. Wand of Create Wand. (Comes with 1 charge, creates 1 Wand of Create Wand. Disintegrates into gas when out of charges.)

2. Orb of Detect Slope. Whenever placed upon a slope, this magical orb will indicate the steepness and direction of the slope.

3. Ring of Detect Fingers (glows in the presence of fingers.)

4. Key of Locking (whenever placed into a lock, the key locks into place and cannot be removed.)

5. Bag of Endless Puns (Once per day, reach into this small pouch to find a really bad pun written on a peice of damp parchment.)

6. The Rod of Sticking (This Rod, once picked up, will stick to things, but not in a particularly strong way. It's just pretty sticky.)

7. Temperature Detector (this device beeps if there is an ambient temperature.)

8. Beeping Box (this device looks exactly like a Temperature Detector, but it just beeps whenever turned on.)

SarcasticDom
2016-02-27, 06:14 AM
9.The Dagger of Healing: You stab it into someone, and they are healed for a certain amount, but they also take the same amount as damage for being stabbed

10. The Cloak of Visibility: Just a very, very gaudy cloak

11. The Potion of Love, Half-Arsed version: Instead of falling in love with the first person you see, you fall in love with the last person you see, ever.

goto124
2016-02-27, 06:55 AM
List of Mostly Useless Magic Items (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?399328-List-of-Mostly-Useless-Magic-Items). From the 5e subsection, but many items are system-neutral anyway.

Millstone85
2016-02-27, 07:33 AM
1. Wand of Create Wand. (Comes with 1 charge, creates 1 Wand of Create Wand. Disintegrates into gas when out of charges.)I could see a wizard designing this item while studying teleportation.


2. Orb of Detect Slope. Whenever placed upon a slope, this magical orb will indicate the steepness and direction of the slope.This one could be used as a level.


4. Key of Locking (whenever placed into a lock, the key locks into place and cannot be removed.)Single use but it might annoy pursuers.

goto124
2016-02-27, 07:39 AM
4. Key of Locking (whenever placed into a lock, the key locks into place and cannot be removed.)

Whoever pulls the key out of its lock will become king...

Aedilred
2016-02-27, 07:53 AM
This one could be used as a level.

That was my first thought. Then I realised it was an orb, so the most obvious way it's going to indicate the gradient and direction of a slope is by rolling down it.

Having said that, some of the others could be useful in some, albeit niche, way. A glowing ring, for instance, could be useful for all sorts of reasons even if it glows all the time it's worn and doesn't "detect" anything. To an adventurer who only has space for two rings, though, I guess it's not really going to cut the mustard.

JAL_1138
2016-02-27, 08:04 AM
List of Mostly Useless Magic Items (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?399328-List-of-Mostly-Useless-Magic-Items). From the 5e subsection, but many items are system-neutral anyway.

The vast majority of them, I'd say. And of the comparatively few 5e-specific ones, most can be ported to any system by swapping out the name of a 5e skill for an appropriate one from the other system and/or using a system-appropriate bonus or penalty in place of Advantage/Disadvantage.

hymer
2016-02-27, 08:06 AM
12: A magical ring which is red when magic is nearby and blue when it isn't. Well, the last part's theoretical, because the ring reacts to its own magic, of course.

13: A magically laden down feather. Has the weight of a lead feather.

14: Cloud remover. If you wave it around inside a raincloud, the cloud will eventually go away.

Millstone85
2016-02-27, 08:25 AM
That was my first thought. Then I realised it was an orb, so the most obvious way it's going to indicate the gradient and direction of a slope is by rolling down it.The item must be placed upon a slope. Nothing says you can't hold it in place. Just be sure to put your hand above it, not under it, or it might detect that slope instead. As for displaying the information, it would be just as obvious for a magic orb to do it crystal ball style.

Still pretty useless to a party of adventurers. But it might help set the tone of a world like Eberron.

nedz
2016-02-27, 08:50 AM
15. Sword in the Stone. Whoever pulls the sword out of the stone will become the King of a long lost kingdom. The Swords stuck of course, but even if you do manage the feat, well you are the king of nothing.

Gastronomie
2016-02-27, 09:04 AM
15. The Bag of Less Holding: This bag has an interior space considerably smaller than its outside dimensions, roughly 2 centimeters in diameter at the mouth and 4 millimeters deep. The bag can hold up to 0.005 pounds, not exceeding a volume of 64 cubic nanometers. The bag weighs 15 tons, regardless of its contents. Retrieving an item from the bag requires 24 hours.

16. The Scallops of Private-Part Covering (Legendary (requires attunement by a female mermaid)): These scallop shells may be used instead of a bra to count as your underwear.

17. Wand of Bellybuttons: This wand has 4 charges (recharges 1d4 each dawn). You can expend 1 charge to create an additional bellybutton upon somebody within 15 feet, or alternatively, rob someone within 15 feet of his bellybutton. One person can have up to three bellybuttons, even with this wand's effects.

goto124
2016-02-27, 09:48 AM
14: Cloud remover. If you wave it around inside a raincloud, the cloud will eventually go away.

Adventurers can Fly, silly!

... let me guess, this "cloud remover" isn't better than any other non-magical object.

hymer
2016-02-27, 09:50 AM
Adventurers can Fly, silly!

And hang inside the cloud while it's pouring rain on them for an indefinite period? Why not just fly above the cloud, then? :smallsmile:

JAL_1138
2016-02-27, 09:57 AM
Adventurers can Fly, silly!

Wind-shear and lightning, the reasons planes go around stormclouds.

goto124
2016-02-27, 10:03 AM
18. The Cute Penguin: A wand that, when waved about, summons a penguin. On summoning, roll a d20:

01 - Emperor, Adult (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/07/Emperor_Penguin_Manchot_empereur.jpg)
02 - Emperor, Baby (http://bioexpedition.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Emperor_Penguin_Chick_600.jpg)
03 - Emperor, Teenage aka Molting (http://i.imgur.com/lxzTgH9.jpg)
04 - Emperor, Leucistic Adult
05 - Emperor, Leucistic Baby (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a2/e8/f6/a2e8f6e36e949546f2df2f0943fd1232.jpg) (this one is albinistic)
06 - King, Adult (http://cornforthimages.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Right-Whale-Bay-King-Penguin-2.jpg)
07 - King, Baby (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YH7vBRIiFDo/UQF_qbnOqCI/AAAAAAAADZs/7_PqX3IRz2k/s1600/Natalie.FortunaBay2.JPG)
08 - King, Teenage aka Molting (http://www.adrianratter.com/wp-content/gallery/south-georgia-and-the-falkland-islands/king-penguin-chick-loosing-fur-gold-harbour.jpg)
09 - King, Leucistic Adult (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ac/8c/f2/ac8cf250653388eb0131b3faa21f76dc.jpg)
10 - King, Leucistic Baby
11 - Gentoo, Adult (http://antarcticconnection.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/117186-004-D4C509E9.jpg)
12 - Gentoo, Baby (https://photos.travelblog.org/Photos/11948/42043/f/221600-Baby-Gentoo-Penguin-0.jpg)
13 - Gentoo, Teenage aka Molting (http://pal.lternet.edu/blogs/2010/files/2010/02/Gentoo-chick-molting-Port-Lockroy.jpg)
14 - Gentoo, Leucistic Adult (http://focusingonwildlife.com/news/wp-content/gallery/cache/3768__590x__dsc6545-leucistic-gentoo-penguin-badc21c103d0cb88f6d53657bc26a2df5af12b5d.jpg)
15 - Gentoo, Leucistic Baby (http://ibc.lynxeds.com/files/pictures/Pygoscelis_papua_ellsworthi_3.jpg) (I also found this (http://hawkebackpacking.com/images/pictures/antarctica/paradise_bay/antarctica_paradise_bay_13.jpg))
16 - African, Adult (http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/penguin-slideshow-141121-145840831.jpg)
17 - African, Baby (http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46980000/jpg/_46980288_zoo_baby_penguins.jpg)
18 - African, Teenage aka Molting (http://cache3.asset-cache.net/gc/88162090-an-african-penguin-chick-in-the-process-of-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=yGLQqxj8m%2BuewVwRx%2BAPVa2eMCQtieka6NOpqCkmAwid QlJGifXZEk6L9CRj%2FwHy)
19 - African, Leucistic Adult (http://www.zestforbirds.co.za/White%20Penguin%2008%201.jpg)
20 - African, Leucistic Baby

This adorable creature will follow you around by waddling (http://hypervocal.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/penguin-GIF.gif) and tobogganing (http://www.trendspotters.tv/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/53.gif), sit on your lap (http://vitalboomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/man-with-penguin-on-lap.jpg), eat fish (http://45.media.tumblr.com/7a729868e138428a3e7ffc0941c13fcc/tumblr_ms9bm7Abc11qzoi69o2_400.gif), honk (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/49/04/8f/49048fed087b431c3dd04d2bf40ef07f.gif) every once a while, and generally look cute (http://data.whicdn.com/images/13641967/original.jpg). It's useless otherwise, but who cares?

hymer
2016-02-27, 10:05 AM
18. The Cute Penguin

Aaaawwww! :smallbiggrin:

Anonymouswizard
2016-02-27, 10:29 AM
19. Manual of Reading: anyone who spends 1 week reading this book unassisted immediately becomes literate in the language it is written in.

20. Rock of the Kender: for every minute it is unobserved this rock will steal 1d4 random items it's carrier is carrying.

goto124
2016-02-27, 10:38 AM
I updated The Cute Penguin with a bigger list of penguins, plus all the images I could find. Why did I do this?

21. Manual of Reading, The Sequel: Like the first Manual of Reading, except this book is blank.

ImNotTrevor
2016-02-27, 11:00 AM
22. Thought Translator: This item allows a person to think in another language. The user cannot speak or read in this language, just think in it.

23. Ring of Detect Buff: Glows in the presence of really buff dudes.

24. Ring of Detect Buff II: Glows in the presence of recently shined/waxed surfaces.

25. Ring of Detect Bluff: Glows in the presence of any steep promontory, bank, or cliff, especially one formed by river erosion on the outside bend of a meander.

26. Ring of Detect Bluff: Glows whenever the wearer is pretending to have a better hand in a card game than they really have.

nedz
2016-02-27, 12:21 PM
27. Manual of Unreading: anyone who spends 1 week reading this book unassisted immediately becomes illiterate in the language it is written in.

Anonymouswizard
2016-02-27, 02:35 PM
28. Son Blade: only deals damage to men who's fathers are still alive. Okay, this one could be occasionally useful

29. Invisible Cloak: this cloak vanishes when a creature puts it on. All clothing, objects, and creatures under it can be seen as if the cloak was there. As can the cloak's clasp actually. Doesn't even have the decency to be a winter cloak.

30. Hat of Silliness: this hat will adjust it's design to always be the silliest in the room. I hope nobody else at the party is wearing one.

Millstone85
2016-02-27, 05:17 PM
Does "system neutral" accept all systems or none? Anyway, I rewrote this one for D&D 5e.

31. Katana of Apparent Invincibility (http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-572)
Weapon (longsword), rare
You have a -4 malus to attack and damage rolls made with this magic katana. The malus is not of magical origin but the result of poor craftsmanship.
Curse. This katana is cursed, and holding the katana in your hand extends the curse to you. The katana can be held safely with long-handled tongs or in a thick glove. As long as you remain cursed, you are convinced that this katana beats all other weapons and means of offense in existence, despite any evidence to the contrary. You must keep the katana within your reach at all times, though you can willingly sheath the katana a number of hours per day equal to 12 + twice your wisdom modifier.
While you hold the katana, you are immune to the charmed and frightened conditions and you must use your action each round to either attack a hostile creature with the katana or make a DC 15 Dexterity (Acrobatics) check as you perform a stunt with the katana. On a failure with either roll, you take 1d4 slashing damage from the unnecessarily sharp crossguard of the katana.
While you do not hold the katana, a creature other than you can make an unarmed strike to deliver a swift blow to the back of your head. On a hit, you take no damage and you are no longer cursed.

Doorhandle
2016-02-27, 07:52 PM
32. Fig leaves of modesty. These somewhat-comfortable leaves can attach themselves to the owner's private regions as they desire, replacing conventional clothing. Nothing can be worn over or under the fig leaves.

33.Sword of trickery: This is a sword, cunningly disguised as another sword of similar make. You have a 4+ bonus to conceal with weapon, so long as you conceal it as a different sword.

34. Hydra's teeth. comes in bags with 2d4 teeth. Upon being thrown into soil, they immediately develop into the skeletons of warriors...which don't; do anything, as they're just skeletons. After 5+1d6 rounds, all skeletons decay into ash, or immediately upon casting a necromancy spell.

35. Pendant of failure: once per day, the owner of this pendant can replace any natural roll with a result of a natural one.

Cluedrew
2016-02-27, 09:01 PM
You know what, I'm going to try and go with sci-fi.

36. Remote Sensor Null Field Projector: Projects a field that hides all thing within it from all but the most exotic of sensors. Unfortunately the field itself has a broad band energy signature.

37. Tech. Scanner: Scans for signs of technology, the warning light will go on if it detects any electromagnetic disturbance nearby. Bug Fixes: No longer detects itself! (Still goes off near any creature that has electrochemical nervous systems however.)

38. Super Nova Bombs: If fired into the heart of a star will cause the star to go supernova. Has a tendency to melt as it approaches stars.Proto-Type Sun Crusher missiles.

39. Self-Replicating Nano-Bots: Nano Bots that replicate themselves... and that's it.

JAL_1138
2016-02-27, 09:09 PM
You know what, I'm going to try and go with sci-fi.

36. Remote Sensor Null Field Projector: Projects a field that hides all thing within it from all but the most exotic of sensors. Unfortunately the field itself has a broad band energy signature.

37. Tech. Scanner: Scans for signs of technology, the warning light will go on if it detects any electromagnetic disturbance nearby. Bug Fixes: No longer detects itself! (Still goes off near any creature that has electrochemical nervous systems however.)

38. Super Nova Bombs: If fired into the heart of a star will cause the star to go supernova. Has a tendency to melt as it approaches stars.Proto-Type Sun Crusher missiles.

39. Self-Replicating Nano-Bots: Nano Bots that replicate themselves... and that's it.


That last one's pretty much the Grey Goo doomsday scenario...

Madbox
2016-02-27, 09:38 PM
The Ring of Fate: The wearer's name is legally changed to Fate.
Trench Coat of Inconspicuousness: The wearer is made inconspicuous, but only in the presence of a crowd of people in trench coats. Otherwise, everyone notices them and assumes they are either a flasher or are hiding weapons.

goto124
2016-02-27, 09:52 PM
28. Son Blade: only deals damage to men who's fathers are still alive. Okay, this one could be occasionally useful

28. Son Blade: Only deals damage to men whose fathers are still alive. Since the blade is transphobic, "men" actually means "biologically male creatures". Okay, this one could be occasionally useful

Jay R
2016-02-27, 11:07 PM
I wrote the first three for a contest in The Space Gamer, years ago:

29. Ring of Invulnerability: The ring can never be destroyed.

30. Quarterstaff of Never-breaking: When used as a weapon, this stout oaken staff turns into a bolt of raw silk.

31. Coin of Indecision: A gold coin with "Yes" on one side and "No" on the other. If flipped when asking a question, it always lands on its edge.

32. Heward's Unhandy Haversack: The haversack can hold twelve times its size in gear. When you attempt to reach into it to retrieve an item, that item is always on the bottom.

33. Ioun stone of Hiding: Gives +5 to Move Silently and Hide skills, which would be more useful if you didn't have a shining stone rotating around you at the same time.

Drakeburn
2016-02-27, 11:38 PM
29. The Sword of Zalda: A powerful enchanted sword that only works on somebody named Zalda.

goto124
2016-02-28, 12:49 AM
32. Heward's Unhandy Haversack: The haversack can hold twelve times its size in gear. When you attempt to reach into it to retrieve an item, that item is always on the bottom.

That's very handy, the item I want is always at the same place!

ImNotTrevor
2016-02-28, 01:14 AM
More Sci fi? More Sci fi.

34. Nano Copymachines: Capable of printing out microscopic documents, if you manage to find it.

35. Light Saber: a sword made of light. Totally not a flashlight. Totally.

36. The Panacea: This pill makes you convinced that you are cured of all ailments.

37. Bronybot: This robot watches MLP for you.

38. Wipe-all Wipes: These Wipes can be used to wipe anything. (Non-absorbent, non-cleansing. But perfect for just wiping stuff.)

39. Stimpack: inject this into yourself to feel vaguely stimulated.

40.Timpack: inject this into yourself to feel like Tim.

41. Slimpack: a 0-calorie Stimpack.

42. Skimpack: a pack of fat-free milk.

Pex
2016-02-28, 02:25 AM
43. Deck of One Thing - Looks like an ordinary deck of cards, but when the cards are dealt every card is the two of clubs.

44. Rod of One Part - A small stick that can be broken if given enough pressure.

45. Orbs of Dragon Kin - A dragon's "jewels".

46. The Appendix of Vecna - Gives the user appendicitis.

47. Shield of Yarnell - The user cannot speak.

goto124
2016-02-28, 02:30 AM
45. Orbs of Dragon Kin - A dragon's "jewels".

You mean this (http://www.animeai.net/img/lista-de-animes/D/assistir-Dragon-Ball-Dublado-Todos-os-Epis%C3%B3dios-online.jpg)?

Lvl 2 Expert
2016-02-28, 04:23 AM
You mean this?

My browser warns me for viruses on that site (doesn't have to mean it's true of course), but I'll take your word for it that someone made a great drawing.

Anonymouswizard
2016-02-28, 06:25 AM
48. Scalp length cyberhair, this replaces your hair with thin, prehensile mechanical tentacles covered in a plastic sheath. Your choice of colour.

49. Cricket Bat, a club the right size to be welded by an insect.

goto124
2016-02-28, 07:16 AM
My browser warns me for viruses on that site (doesn't have to mean it's true of course), but I'll take your word for it that someone made a great drawing.

It's just Dragon Ball.

Also, I should install a better antivirus on my computer.

50. Crickets: When a place would otherwise be silent, this item lets out the chirping sound of crickets.

Millstone85
2016-02-28, 08:04 AM
51. Three-Laws Compliant Robot: Always obey human orders except when the robot thinks it knows best, which is all the time.
52. "Fully Functional" Alien Robot: Designed by a species with a complicated mating process that surprisingly fails to meet any human fetish. The species went extinct.
53. Self-Upgrading Robot: Upgrade 116 of 26.830.718.350.720 is being installed, please wait.
54. Sufficiently Self-Upgraded Robot: Ascends to a higher plane of existence and never comes down.
55. Gourmet Nanomachines: Can replicate themselves but only with large quantities of unobtainium.
56. Philosophical Teleporter: Will send you to your destination if you can convince it that the reassembled individual would still be you.
57. Philosophical Replicator: Regularly deems living beings and other things "too complex to replicate". Doesn't get along with the teleporter.
58. Multiversal Mirror: Lets you see through the same mirror in an alternate reality where everything is shifted 3 meters to the right, including the mirror.

Anonymouswizard
2016-02-28, 08:14 AM
59. Three Laws Complaint Robot: will quibble that you aren't really human, that that wasn't an order, and that it obviously would protect itself anyway.
60. Electronic Telepathetic Handband: allows you to use telepathetic powers on other people wearing Electronic Telepathetic Headbands. Not to be confused with the Electronic Telepathic Headband.
61. Telly-porter: carriers your television around for you.

DigoDragon
2016-02-28, 09:25 AM
62. The Vanity Plate: Gives your mundane vehicle a +2 enhancement bonus to its Charisma score. Not that mundane vehicles have such a score...
63. The +0.333 Calculator: Gives a one-third enhancement bonus to your math skill when using the calculator to do the math for you. Can occasional cause numbering errors.
65. The Magic Marker: It'll write on any surface, except cold wet plastic wrap.
66. The Magic Eraser: For when you accidentally wrote on something you shouldn't have with the Magic Marker.

ImNotTrevor
2016-02-28, 09:58 AM
67. The Magic Marker: only writes on enchanted paper.
68. The Vanity Plate: A custom porcelain plate that you can display on your vanity.
69. HueHueHue Device: Makes immature chuckling sounds whenever any form of innuendo occurs.
70. The Flying Car Pet: A tiny, adorable pet car that flies. Look at his widdle wheels!
71. The Inconceivablaster: The most powerful weapon in the known universe. However, nothing in the universe can figure out how the hell to fire it, let alone how it works. Why does it keep demanding string cheese? What is that claxon? Why does it have 36 million buttons that all say "Blorf"?! Why did it just print out 47 pages that are just the words Cream Cheese in various large fonts?
72. The Wanted Ad: People around this printed Advertisement are driven by an insatiable desire to have it in their possession.
73. The Craig List: Lists the first name of every single Craig in existence. The list is not numbered.
74. The Internnet. This handy net can be used to catch Interns. And only Interns.

goto124
2016-02-28, 10:30 AM
Why did it just print out 47 pages that are just the words Cream Cheese in various large fonts?

Better yet... (https://isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf)

Millstone85
2016-02-28, 10:42 AM
Just to be gross.

75. Rabbit Fur Hat: Whenever a rabbit is placed inside this hat, the rabbit disappears and the hat gains one charge. You can spend one of the hat's charges to make another Rabbit Fur Hat appears out of it.
76. Hat Eating Rabbit: A female of this species can eat any hat whole, after what the rabbit becomes pregnant. If a Hat Eating Rabbit eats a Rabbit Fur Hat, the corresponding victim is reincarnated.
77. Cup of Joe: This cup magically refills with the favourite beverage of whoever holds it, mixed with a few drops of blood from a random person named Joseph, Joanne or the like. When hold by someone whose favourite beverage is blood, the cup fills itself with a liquid poisonous to them, such as holy water for a vampire.

Bohandas
2016-02-28, 02:49 PM
78. Wand of Wands- When activated this wand conjures a bunch of useless burnt out wands

Aedilred
2016-02-28, 05:56 PM
79. Fountainhead Arrow: This arrow is much longer than necessary, and will only allow itself to be wielded by the best adventurer in the party (according to its own standards). Liable to cause arguments between adventurers who think it's the greatest arrow ever, and those who believe it to be trash not worth the effort.
80. Shield of the Severed Hand: This shield can only be held by a hand that's not attached to a body.
81. Millennial Chainmail: Otherwise normal chainmail which updates Facebook constantly with your location.
82. Heartseeking amulet: On being worn, burrows into the wearer's chest until it reaches the heart.
83. Hat of disguise: This hat will magically change its appearance to match whatever disguise you're wearing on the rest of your body.

Drakeburn
2016-02-28, 07:05 PM
84. Bottle of Magic Milk: A bottle that can conjure an endless supply of milk. But the infinite supply of milk has turned sour.

ReaderAt2046
2016-02-28, 07:31 PM
85: Amulet of Protection From Nargles. Grants the wearer a +2 deflection bonus to AC and a +2 resistance bonus on saves against attacks made or effects created by Nargles, prevents summoned Nargles from making bodily contact with the wearer, and blocks any attempt to possess or exercise mental control over the wearer.

86: Scone of Stone. A scone made out of marble.

87: Stone of Scones. When activated, this stone summons 1d6 blueberry scones.

Strigon
2016-02-28, 09:45 PM
88) The Sorting Hat: When worn, this hat gives its wearer a very mild form of OCD, manifesting in a desire to organize and sort their surroundings. This urge can be suppressed, though it is still irritating.

89) Water Walking Boots: These boots allow the user to walk on the surface of water, so long as it is frozen to a depth greater than one inch.

90) Water Walking Boots Mk II: These standard walking boots are made of water. They offer no benefits over mundane boots, and keep the wearer's feet soggy.

91) The Hat of Disguises: This hat magically cycles through various (poor) disguises, all of which are extremely overt and attention-grabbing, and none of which effectively mask the features or identity of the wearer.

92) The One Ring: This ring, when worn, gives the wearer perfect knowledge of all the powers of one; that is to say, 11, 12, 13, 14, and so on. However, it requires that the wearer have previous knowledge of exponents.

It Sat Rap
2016-02-29, 07:06 AM
This item really appeared in a campaign I played in. (Troll-DM-mode activated)

Ring of Gaseous Form: This ring transforms the wearer into a gaseous form for an unlimited time, just like the spell. To end the spell the wearer has to take off the ring. However, since he and the ring are gaseous, he can't do that.

Let's hope the party has a "Dispel magic" spell in hand.

RoyVG
2016-02-29, 07:36 AM
94) Sword of Striking: When you strike a creature with the Sword of Striking, it deals damage equal to the base damage of the weapon. Technically a nerf to damage, because it doesn't mention anything about adding strength bonus

95) Armor of Projection: Upon donning this, it projects the image of an armor on your body. It does not grant you an armor bonus.

DC20 Knowledge (Arcana): This armor was once known as the Armor of Protection, but after whiping of the dust from the manual, it actually read Projection.

96) The King's New Robe: This majestic robe fills you with the might and charisma of long lost kings. It's power is so grand that no other clothing, jewelry or any other object may be worn alongside it. Upon wearing the robe, it turns invisible but you still percieve it as normal. You are immune to fear related to embarrassment as long as nobody states the obvious upon which you are immediately pannicked. Immunity to fear or mind affecting effects do not prevent the effects of this item.

97) Splitting Bow: Upon pulling the string of this bow, and releasing it, it splits into two bows that fall at your knees. The arrow is shot as normal. Only one of these bows is real and can be used again. If the wrong bow is picked up it will dissappear upon pulling the string. (The DM actually pulled this as a joke on a partymember that was late for a session. Though the timing could have been better as this was done against an undead dragon which was the last monster of an entire campaign arc... )

goto124
2016-02-29, 07:39 AM
94) Sword of Striking: When you strike a creature with the Sword of Striking, it deals damage equal to the base damage of the weapon. Technically a nerf to damage, because it doesn't mention anything about adding strength bonus

But also immune to debuffs! Did your STR get reduced? No problem!

8BitNinja
2016-02-29, 01:34 PM
Hey guys, got a Sword of Ogre's Bane, it's got a +9 against ogres

Anyway

98) Rifle of Boomerang- Bullet flies back at user after hitting the target

99) Breastplate of Calm- Wearer loses all will to fight upon being hit

100) Gauntlets of Oven Resistance- Protects wearers hands against heat, but only if they are using it to take baked goods or a casserole out of an oven

101) Brooch of Drunkenness- Wearer looks, feels, and acts as if they were wasted, although there may be no alcohol in them, breathalyzers will say otherwise

102) Ring of Protection against Teddy Bears- Teddy bears within a 10 foot radius will take 2d6 damage/round, any teddy bear that wears it will gain a negative level during the wearing duration and receive 2d6 damage/round

hymer
2016-02-29, 02:30 PM
102) Ring of Protection against Teddy Bears- Teddy bears within a 10 foot radius will take 2d6 damage/round, any teddy bear that wears it will gain a negative level during the wearing duration and receive 2d6 damage/round

But it doesn't work against animated teddy bears, surely? That would just be OP. :smallwink:

8BitNinja
2016-02-29, 02:34 PM
But it doesn't work against animated teddy bears, surely? That would just be OP. :smallwink:

You had to get the pre-order version for animated teddy bears

tomandtish
2016-02-29, 02:46 PM
18. The Cute Penguin: A wand that, when waved about, summons a penguin. On summoning, roll a d20:

01 - Emperor, Adult (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/07/Emperor_Penguin_Manchot_empereur.jpg)
02 - Emperor, Baby (http://bioexpedition.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Emperor_Penguin_Chick_600.jpg)
03 - Emperor, Teenage aka Molting (http://i.imgur.com/lxzTgH9.jpg)
04 - Emperor, Leucistic Adult
05 - Emperor, Leucistic Baby (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a2/e8/f6/a2e8f6e36e949546f2df2f0943fd1232.jpg) (this one is albinistic)
06 - King, Adult (http://cornforthimages.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Right-Whale-Bay-King-Penguin-2.jpg)
07 - King, Baby (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YH7vBRIiFDo/UQF_qbnOqCI/AAAAAAAADZs/7_PqX3IRz2k/s1600/Natalie.FortunaBay2.JPG)
08 - King, Teenage aka Molting (http://www.adrianratter.com/wp-content/gallery/south-georgia-and-the-falkland-islands/king-penguin-chick-loosing-fur-gold-harbour.jpg)
09 - King, Leucistic Adult (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ac/8c/f2/ac8cf250653388eb0131b3faa21f76dc.jpg)
10 - King, Leucistic Baby
11 - Gentoo, Adult (http://antarcticconnection.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/117186-004-D4C509E9.jpg)
12 - Gentoo, Baby (https://photos.travelblog.org/Photos/11948/42043/f/221600-Baby-Gentoo-Penguin-0.jpg)
13 - Gentoo, Teenage aka Molting (http://pal.lternet.edu/blogs/2010/files/2010/02/Gentoo-chick-molting-Port-Lockroy.jpg)
14 - Gentoo, Leucistic Adult (http://focusingonwildlife.com/news/wp-content/gallery/cache/3768__590x__dsc6545-leucistic-gentoo-penguin-badc21c103d0cb88f6d53657bc26a2df5af12b5d.jpg)
15 - Gentoo, Leucistic Baby (http://ibc.lynxeds.com/files/pictures/Pygoscelis_papua_ellsworthi_3.jpg) (I also found this (http://hawkebackpacking.com/images/pictures/antarctica/paradise_bay/antarctica_paradise_bay_13.jpg))
16 - African, Adult (http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/penguin-slideshow-141121-145840831.jpg)
17 - African, Baby (http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46980000/jpg/_46980288_zoo_baby_penguins.jpg)
18 - African, Teenage aka Molting (http://cache3.asset-cache.net/gc/88162090-an-african-penguin-chick-in-the-process-of-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=yGLQqxj8m%2BuewVwRx%2BAPVa2eMCQtieka6NOpqCkmAwid QlJGifXZEk6L9CRj%2FwHy)
19 - African, Leucistic Adult (http://www.zestforbirds.co.za/White%20Penguin%2008%201.jpg)
20 - African, Leucistic Baby

This adorable creature will follow you around by waddling (http://hypervocal.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/penguin-GIF.gif) and tobogganing (http://www.trendspotters.tv/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/53.gif), sit on your lap (http://vitalboomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/man-with-penguin-on-lap.jpg), eat fish (http://45.media.tumblr.com/7a729868e138428a3e7ffc0941c13fcc/tumblr_ms9bm7Abc11qzoi69o2_400.gif), honk (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/49/04/8f/49048fed087b431c3dd04d2bf40ef07f.gif) every once a while, and generally look cute (http://data.whicdn.com/images/13641967/original.jpg). It's useless otherwise, but who cares?

Sounds like a wand of rations to me...

Flickerdart
2016-02-29, 02:49 PM
103: Rod of Orange Detection - When pointed at an item, the rod glows orange if the item itself is orange.

104: Powder of Cockroach Command - When sprinkled into the eyes of a cockroach, this powder allows the user to command the cockroach to go away. Other applications (such as leaving the powder on the ground) do not function.

105: Compass Compass - This device appears to be a regular compass, but the arrow always points towards the nearest other compass instead of due north.

106: Lesser Pearl of Speech - While this item is active, the user can speak another language, but can only say one phrase. The crafter determines the language and phrase. The pearl does not confer the ability to understand the given language, not even the phrase it enables the user to speak.

107: Vestments of Deception - These ghostly clothes are enchanted to make all energy and matter pass straight through them. As a consequence, they cannot be seen, heard, touched, or perceived in any way.

108: Tom Tome - This heavy leather-bound book can only be opened by people named Tom, but is not special in any other way.

109: Clock of Future Sight - This clock has a limited ability to see the future. As a standard action, anyone looking at the clock's face can learn what time it will be ten seconds from now.

Bohandas
2016-02-29, 02:51 PM
110: Magic Ring- A piece of jewelry that constantly gives off the sound of a ringing bell

Anonymouswizard
2016-02-29, 02:57 PM
111. Boo-Meringue: when eaten this tasty treat causes 1d4 ghosts to appear.

ImNotTrevor
2016-02-29, 03:52 PM
110: Magic Ring- A piece of jewelry that constantly gives off the sound of a ringing bell

112: Magic Ring: this ring gives a +1 bonus to wearing rings.

113: Decanter of Endless refilling: This decanter can be emptied and refilled as many times as you want until it breaks.

114: Brazzier of Flame: Makes you look super hot. Really. Flamingly hot. Literally hot. It is on fire and so are you.

115: Detector Detector: This device beeps in the presence of devices that detect things.

116: Plasma Rifle: This rifle is made of plasma.

117: Plasma Rifle: This supersoaker-like weapon sprays your opponents with blood plasma.

118: Light Saber: This normal-looking metal saber is actually lighter than air.

119: Lite Saber: 0 calorie saber.

120: Rad-Away: This poison makes you 20% less Rad than you were before. Bummer.

121: Wand of Orca: This wand can be used to summon an Orca if you are in the water. Sadly, the Orca summoned is just a real douchenugget.

122: The Codpiece of Natural Male Enhancement: You know exactly what this does.

Sam113097
2016-02-29, 04:05 PM
123: Ring of Power - this copper ring can be used in place of 2 AA batteries

124: Ring of Powder - the wearer of the ring becomes incredibly skilled (but not faster) at grinding ingredients using a pestle and mortar

125: Helm of Darkness - the face of the person wearing the helm is hidden by thick shadow. The wearer can't see out of the shadow.

NRSASD
2016-02-29, 04:08 PM
126: Gloves of Applauding. These magical gauntlets provide a +1 bonus to all skill checks, attack rolls, or saving throws within a 60 ft radius of the wearer. After every successful roll, the wearer must spend an action congratulating whomever just succeeded, regardless of their attitude towards the wearer. ie, the wearer applauds hostiles and friendlies alike.

127. Zeno's Boots of All-Terrain Traversal: These boots allow the wearer to cross 50% of the distance to their destination over any substance, whether it be water, air, or lava. The boots cease to function once the halfway point is reached.

128. Falconer's Glove of Bird Repulsion: Birds of any sort cannot come within 6 inches of this heavy leather gauntlet while it is worn. Can only be worn by falconers.

Anonymouswizard
2016-02-29, 04:13 PM
114: Brazzier of Flame: Makes you look super hot. Really. Flamingly hot. Literally hot. It is on fire and so are you.

128. +1 flaming brassiere: as above, but must be worn.


122: The Codpiece of Natural Male Enhancement: You know exactly what this does.

129. Supplement of Advertisement: take with any other product and watch how amazing effects fail to happen. Use this free code to get it ridiculously cheap.

8BitNinja
2016-02-29, 06:50 PM
130) Armoire of Invincibility: Not to be confused with the Armor of the same name, unlike the armor, you cannot wear it, and it is only invincible on all the parts but the base, which is made of cheap particle wood

ImNotTrevor
2016-02-29, 07:34 PM
128. +1 flaming brassiere: as above, but must be worn.

130. Wizard of Spellcheck: Fixes your spelling mistakes. Side effects include feeling stupid.

131. Hat of Ynfo Mersh'all: While wearing this hat, every roll is replaced with a critical failure until a handy gadget that solves that particular task is purchased.

Shinizak
2016-02-29, 09:51 PM
22. Thought Translator: This item allows a person to think in another language. The user cannot speak or read in this language, just think in it.

23. Ring of Detect Buff: Glows in the presence of really buff dudes.

24. Ring of Detect Buff II: Glows in the presence of recently shined/waxed surfaces.

25. Ring of Detect Bluff: Glows in the presence of any steep promontory, bank, or cliff, especially one formed by river erosion on the outside bend of a meander.

26. Ring of Detect Bluff: Glows whenever the wearer is pretending to have a better hand in a card game than they really have.

cast a charm on it to make it so the wearer can't see this glow, then give it to a buddy, rival, gambling addict, etc.

eru001
2016-02-29, 10:33 PM
Grassy Gnoll: a small Gnoll covered in lawn trimmings capable of creating wild and varied conspiracy theories

Pouch of delayed usefulness: a magic pouch which can be used once per day. reaching inside allows the user to pull out one non-magic item which would have been incredibly useful 10 minutes ago.

wand of random missles :a wand which when used casts the spell magic missile on a random target, which could include the user of fellow party members.

Orb of monster location. a small orb, which when activated makes the user smell delicious to any nearby monsters.

Rope of entanglement. A rope which when removed from storage is always badly tangled, regardless of how carefully it is put away.

ImNotTrevor
2016-02-29, 10:34 PM
cast a charm on it to make it so the wearer can't see this glow, then give it to a buddy, rival, gambling addict, etc.

That is a clever use. Also this is just for giggles, so pointing out usefulnesses for the items probably isn't worth spending time on unless that's your method of achieving giggles. In which case, sally forth. Just be sure to drop a few pointless/worthless/stupid items every now and then.

ReaderAt2046
2016-02-29, 10:47 PM
132: Amulet of the Sloth: The wearer of this amulet is treated as being under the effects of the slow spell for as long as it is worn. The amulet is not cursed, and can be removed without difficulty.

133: Bracers of Lechery: These bracers cause you to be unnaturally aware of the sexual attractiveness of members of the opposite sex. For the purposes of any roll that targets you, members of the opposite sex are treated as if their Cha modifier was twice what it actually is.

goto124
2016-03-01, 12:23 AM
133: Bracers of Lechery: These bracers cause you to be unnaturally aware of the sexual attractiveness of members of the opposite sex. For the purposes of any roll that targets you, members of the opposite sex are treated as if their Cha modifier was twice what it actually is.

134: Bracers of Lechery II: Same as the first version of Bracers of Lechery, but with members of the same sex and same race as you are.

135: Bracers of Lechery III: Same as the first and second versions of Bracers of Lechery, but with members of either sex but the same race as you are.

135: Bracers of Lechery IV: Same as the first, second, and third versions of Bracers of Lechery, but with any living sapient creature.

I should stop here.

Edit: Only works on races with two sexes.

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-01, 12:30 AM
134: Bracers of Lechery II: Same as the first version of Bracers of Lechery, but with members of the same sex and same race as you are.

135: Bracers of Lechery III: Same as the first and second versions of Bracers of Lechery, but with members of both sexes but the same race as you are.

135: Bracers of Lechery IV: Same as the first, second, and third versions of Bracers of Lechery, but with any living sapient creature.

I should stop here.
136: Bracers of Leechery: The wearer has an insatiable urge to hang out in swamps and try to latch onto people.

137: Bracers of Ledgery: The wearer suddenly becomes very adept at maintaining a ledger.

138: Bracers of Fetchery: The wearer has an insatiable urge to retrieve thrown objects.

139: Bracers of Retchery: As Bracers of Lechery, but causes every word to be spoken in a really offensive stereotypical asian accent. (Shame on whoever enchanted these. The racist prick.)

140: Bracers of Treachery: They won't come off, and they keep trying to stab your friends in the back. Those killed always use their last breath to say "Et tu, (Wielder's name)?"

8BitNinja
2016-03-01, 12:36 AM
140) tunic of narcissism: all diplomacy checks done by the wearer, against the wearer has a 100% success rate

The Bandicoot
2016-03-01, 07:28 AM
149) Ring of Number Correction: Allows the wearer to correct any mistake in a list of numbers.

LokiRagnarok
2016-03-01, 08:41 AM
150) +1 Ring of Number Correction: Always causes the wearer to be off by 1 when counting. Effect stacks. A side effect is that the user cannot detect the ring on their finger, since they are sure they wear one ring less than is actually the case. :smallamused:

8BitNinja
2016-03-01, 09:46 AM
151) Wand of Alarm Clock: Caster says a time of day to the wand (EX- 5:30 AM) and a mark similar to an arcane mark or rune appears on the ground, when the time said to the wand is reached, the rune will explode harmlessley, but causing an annoying beeping sound

goto124
2016-03-01, 10:53 AM
152) Wand of Alarm Clock 2: Like the original Wand of Alarm Clock, except when the rune explodes, it makes a REALLY LOUD EXPLOSION SOUND!

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-01, 10:57 AM
152. Ring of Cat-like Tread: IS TOTALLY SILENT HONEST!!

goto124
2016-03-01, 11:18 AM
154) Ring of Blink: Lets you blink as a free action.

8BitNinja
2016-03-01, 01:27 PM
155) Sandals of Sandler: Wearer leaves a trail of Adam Sandler movies wherever they go

Bohandas
2016-03-01, 03:02 PM
156) Braces of Archery - The wearer of this dental appliance gains a +1 competance bonus to attack rolls with bows.

Jenerix525
2016-03-01, 03:41 PM
157) Mantle of Humanity: The wearer gains all the signature traits of humans. Due to potential mind-altering side-effects, this item is enchanted to cease function when handled by any non-human. Safety first.

tomandtish
2016-03-01, 05:37 PM
155) Sandals of Sandler: Wearer leaves a trail of Adam Sandler movies wherever they go

I thought the items were supposed to be useless, not leaving a trail of scorched earth and desolation....

8BitNinja
2016-03-01, 05:53 PM
156) Board of Hovering: A wood board that hovers 3 inches from the ground, cannot go over water or obstacles higher than 3 inches

157) Wand of Lesser Irritation: Target is mildly annoyed, same can be applied for it's mundane melee weapon variant, Wand of Lesser Irritation

158) Dress of Damsel in Distress: Wearer draws the attention of evil kings, evil wizards, dragons, cultists, and other forms of princess kidnappers. Wearer is defenseless while wearing the dress

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-01, 06:05 PM
158) Dress of Damsel in Distress: Wearer draws the attention of evil kings, evil wizards, dragons, cultists, and other forms of princess kidnappers. Wearer is defenseless while wearing the dress

Damsel in This Dress. Embrace the pun!

159. Laze-er: whenever given a command this item lets out a sigh.
160. Alpha Complex Novel: printed in black ink on black paper, so all clearance levels can enjoy it!

Gallade
2016-03-01, 06:29 PM
161: Mittens of Sign Language Proficiency: Just put on these thick, finger-constricting mittens to gain instant proficiency in sign language. The effect wears off as soon as you take them off.

162: Ring of Absolute Secrecy: anything you say when you have this ring on, you will speak in a language so secretive nobody in any plane will understand it, yourself included.

8BitNinja
2016-03-01, 08:43 PM
163) Glasses of Eagle Vision: Wearer sees all living creatures as eagles

Pex
2016-03-02, 12:03 AM
164. Portable Hoe - A garden utensil you can carry around with you.

165. Rod Of Cancel - Only usable against the Ebony Fly Figurine. It destroys the Fly but causes angst and wailing for everyone who liked the Fly even years after the deed was done.

Gallade
2016-03-02, 02:50 AM
166: Gloves of Spider Clinging: These sticky gloves are just loved by spiders. Whenever you enter a spider's line of sight, they must succeed a Will check or become infatuated with you, clinging to your body until you remove the gloves. If the spider is an intelligent Magical Beast (e.g. Aranea), removing the gloves will prompt them to call you "Baka", regardless of whether that's your real name or not, and affirm they DEFINITELY didn't do it because they liked you.

Starwulf
2016-03-02, 03:00 AM
9.The Dagger of Healing: You stab it into someone, and they are healed for a certain amount, but they also take the same amount as damage for being stabbed


Not sure if anyone else has mentioned this throughout the thread, but that dagger could be immensely useful in torturing. Infinite stab wounds and the person will never die because they will be healed every time, but I imagine the pain that comes with being stabbed would still remain, or at least linger long enough to be effective.

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-02, 05:13 AM
163) Glasses of Eagle Vision: Wearer sees all living creatures as eagles

More like Glasses of Freedom Vision, am I right?

'Muricah

*Swell with obesity and drone warfare*

FocusWolf413
2016-03-02, 09:35 AM
165. Rod Of Cancel - Only usable against the Ebony Fly Figurine. It destroys the Fly but causes angst and wailing for everyone who liked the Fly even years after the deed was done.

167. Signet Ring of The Fox: When dipped in wax and stamped on a piece of paper, it voids any writing on it. Legal documents are rendered invalid and must be reacquired, magic scrolls lose their magic, and copies of scripts may no longer be used.

8BitNinja
2016-03-02, 09:39 AM
169) Hat of the Hipster: wearer cannot use any items that are mainstream

170) Cap of the Gnome Child: Item works similar to a planar shift, sends you to a plane full of memes for you to browse, 25% chance to summon a gnome named Slayer on the spot you shifted planes, return to previous plane by taking off the hat

Gallade
2016-03-02, 02:24 PM
171) Cursed Amulet of Genre Blindness: Wearer gains a -20 Intuition penalty against any Bluff check where an enemy makes promises too good to be true, such as returning a prisoner without fighting or surrendering unconditionally, plus a cumulative -10 penalty for every time the enemy has successfully Bluffed against them.

Kami2awa
2016-03-02, 03:11 PM
163) Glasses of Eagle Vision: Wearer sees all living creatures as eagles

So it's a perfect undead/construct scanner?

8BitNinja
2016-03-02, 06:24 PM
172) Stanley the Talking Grapefruit from Passwall: A magical grapefruit that talks nonsensically, it cannot hear and it never says anything that makes sense

Strigon
2016-03-02, 08:06 PM
So it's a perfect undead/construct scanner?

Well, it doesn't highlight them for you or anything; it just lets you know what isn't undead or a construct.
Which is occasionally helpful for undead, but not that helpful for constructs.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-02, 09:39 PM
173. Mask of Disguise: when put on, this mask disguises itself, making it impossible to discover that the user is wearing it.

174. The Emporer's Old Clothes: invisible to those with Wisdom higher than 18.

lelrekt2142
2016-03-03, 08:05 AM
Arrow of Infinite Quivers: This quiver contains one arrow. When you take it out, a new quiver appears around the arrow, and the previous quiver disappears after 1 minute.

8BitNinja
2016-03-03, 09:44 AM
176) Wand of Critters: Fires a small, grey ball that upon hitting the target, summons a small animal (mouse, bug, etc.) If a target is hit, they take no damage and the animal runs away

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-03, 11:21 PM
176) Wand of Critters: Fires a small, grey ball that upon hitting the target, summons a small animal (mouse, bug, etc.) If a target is hit, they take no damage and the animal runs away

177: Wand of Critters:
Whenever this wand is used, summons a new player to the game who rolls critical hits all the time.

178: Wand of Quitters:
When used, this wand causes one player to decide this gaming group is stupid, and quit the game.

179: Wand of Bitters:
When used, this wand produces a small amount of bitter alcoholic fluid.

180: Goggles of Reverse Sight: While wearing these goggles, the wearer can see behind themselves. But only that.

goto124
2016-03-04, 12:16 AM
177: Wand of Critters:
Whenever this wand is used, summons a new player to the game who rolls critical hits all the time.

This isn't worthless! Here's a remake:

177: Wand of Critters:
Whenever this wand is used, summons a hostile creature to the game that rolls critical hits all the time. But only against the PCs.

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-04, 02:16 AM
This isn't worthless! Here's a remake:

177: Wand of Critters:
Whenever this wand is used, summons a hostile creature to the game that rolls critical hits all the time. But only against the PCs.

Well, I could argue that it's worthless because there is no actual way to summon a player.

What the wording implies is that you use the wand and suddenly some Chad sits down with black sunglasses that have "CRIT" on one lens and "HIT" on the other, and he plops down a character sheet and starts rolling a 20 sided die with only 20s, then winks at your girlfriend every time he kills something.

In other words, you use the wand and suddenly there's someone new at the table. Who only rolls critical hits. Which isn't possible without the DM setting it up. (And it will just make people mad)

I could make that defense, or just say:
The joke is more important than the "worthless" part. In fact, it's the whole point of the thread. "Worthless" just gives us theming.

Gallade
2016-03-04, 02:56 AM
177: Wand of Critters:
Whenever this wand is used, summons a new player to the game who rolls critical hits all the time.

178: Wand of Quitters:
When used, this wand causes one player to decide this gaming group is stupid, and quit the game.

179: Wand of Bitters:
When used, this wand produces a small amount of bitter alcoholic fluid.

180: Goggles of Reverse Sight: While wearing these goggles, the wearer can see behind themselves. But only that.

181: Wand of Dogsitters: A dog of random breed and size is summoned alongside the user of this wand. The dog doesn't fight and always follows them around. At the end of the day, if the dog has been fed and kept safe, it disappears and in its place appear 3d10 silver pieces.

182: Wand of Fritters: Summons a piece of greasy, crispy, grilled food into target's mouth.

183: Wand of Knitters: Summons a thick wool article of clothing on target's random body part.

184: Wand of Glitters: Target sparkles for 2d4 hours.

185: Wand of Twitters: Target becomes compelled to update the surrounding sentient creatures with their situation every minute. They will use any spell or ability they may possess (e.g. Message, Comprehend Languages, Telepathy, Speak with animals) to communicate.

186: Wand of Fitters: Caster exercises for 1d4 minutes and thinks they gained 1 point of STR, CON and DEX. In reality, this only works by repeating the application once a day for at least one month. Target must succeed a Will save (DC equal to days passed) to use the wand again.

187: Wand of Litters: Summons 3d4 baby mammals of Fine or Diminutive size around the caster. They will recognize them as their mother.

nedz
2016-03-04, 06:21 AM
184: Wand of Glitters: Target sparkles for 2d4 hours.

This isn't useless - it's just Lesser Glitterdust

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-04, 06:24 AM
188. Wand of Wit: can expend one charge to tell a good joke.
189. Wand of Wit, cursed: it thinks it's a Wand of Wit, but is only half right.
190. Rod of Detect Humanoid: vibrates when a humanoid is near.

8BitNinja
2016-03-04, 09:43 AM
191. Wand of the Dashing Rogue: Summons a guy who seems smarter, stronger, and more handsome than you and runs off with your girlfriend, both are never heard from again

192. Amulet of Protection from Teddy Bears: teddy bears deal no damage to you

193. Wand of Otacon: Makes everything "like one of my Japanese animes"

194. Dora's Talking Map: A map with a magic mouth spell on it, tells you how to got to somewhere, but only if is within a ten minute distance and has exactly 2 obstacles in the way

195. Dora's Talking Backpack: A backpack with a magic mouth spell on it, can hold 2 lbs of items, upon looking inside of it, it will send you to the ethereal plane where it asks you what item is best for the situation, after choosing an item, it sends you back to the material plane

196. Arrow of Halflings: Arrow turns into a halfling upon firing, halfling will become hostile and attack you

197. Sandals of Sanders: Everywhere you step leaves a trail of pictures of Bernie Sanders

198. Sandals of Sand: Everywhere you step leaves a trail of sand

RoyVG
2016-03-04, 09:48 AM
179: Wand of Bitters:
When used, this wand produces a small amount of bitter alcoholic fluid.

199) Wand of Bitters, cursed: All the food in a 1 mile radius become extremely bitter. Creatures accustomed to bitter-ness still don't like it.


200) Goggles of Nearsight: upon wearing these goggles, you can see things within 1 foot of your eyes perfectly fine, without the need to actively focus. Everything beyond becomes blurry. Any creature you attack recieves the benefit of concealment against your attacks.

201) Gloves of Ending Javelins. As a free action you can command any javelin (mundane or magical) in your possession to be utterly destroyed.

8BitNinja
2016-03-04, 10:01 AM
202) Mask of Ninjas: Mask will draw all ninjas in the area to you and will try to kill you

hold on, someone put the mask on...

now that I'm back and re assumed my Paladin form

203) Hat of Alignments: Hat will make you appear as the opposite alignment of anyone and everyone around you within a 5 mile radius

204) Turban of Heat: Upon putting on the turban, you will spontaneously combust

205) Boots of the Senpai: will cause everyone older than you to automatically find you via spot check within a 10 mile radius

206) Clothes of Invisibility: Upon putting on the clothes, they will turn invisible

207) Boots of Flight: Upon touching the boots, they will fly away

208) Ring of the Lion: will cause any lion within 500 yards to attack you if equipped

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-04, 10:14 AM
209. Wand of Rogue: summons shifty guy for 1d4 rounds.

210. Wand of Rouge: expertly applies makeup.

211. Wand of Rouge, cursed: summons shifty guy for 1d4 rounds.

212. Rod of Tipsiness: makes target tippsy.

213. Rod of Tippyness: sets up one network of teleport circles.

goto124
2016-03-04, 10:46 AM
210. Wand of Rouge: expertly applies makeup.

211. Wand of Rouge, cursed: summons shifty guy for 1d4 rounds.


214. Wand of Rouge, other cursed: summons shifty makeup seller.

Pex
2016-03-04, 01:18 PM
181: Wand of Dogsitters: A dog of random breed and size is summoned alongside the user of this wand. The dog doesn't fight and always follows them around. At the end of the day, if the dog has been fed and kept safe, it disappears and in its place appear 3d10 silver pieces.


Better name - Wand of Heeling

8BitNinja
2016-03-04, 01:22 PM
215) Wand of Self Improvement: Every time wand is fired, it makes me faster, stronger, smarter, more coordinated, wiser, have higher alcohol tolerance, more handsome, and more proficient with all forms of combat

216) Wand of Self Improvement, Cursed: Makes me want to talk about the wand of self improvement

217) Wand of Self Improvement, More Cursed: Makes me dwell on my shortcomings in all these areas and feel sadness and guilt for 1d4 hours

This has nothing to do with pride, narcissism, or haughtiness, it is just a joke, I am not trying to put myself above anyone or put others down by saying I am better than them

goto124
2016-03-04, 01:24 PM
216) Cursed Wand of Self Improvement: Seems to act just like the Wand of Self Improvement, but in fact it tricks the user into thinking that way. No actual improvement.

8BitNinja
2016-03-04, 01:28 PM
216) Cursed Wand of Self Improvement: Seems to act just like the Wand of Self Improvement, but in fact it tricks the user into thinking that way. No actual improvement.

219) Wand of Improvement of the Wand of Self Improvement: Makes all wands of self improvement more potent, making them +5 wands for 2d8 hours

nedz
2016-03-04, 07:59 PM
190. Rod of Detect Humanoid: vibrates when a humanoid is near.

I'm sure there's a large market for those :smallamused:

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-04, 08:25 PM
218: Deadale Wives' Knife: This knife has a +9 against Ogres so long as the player who's character has the dagger knows the location of the nearest bag of Cheetos and the nearest container of Mountain Dew.

219: Sword of Wolfban: once per day, can ban werewolves from the server.

220: Axe of Wolfband: One critical hits, summons a werewolf deathmetal band to play a sweet riff.

221: Djinn's Bottle: This is a bottle that Djinn keep stuff in. Usually liquids, but sometimes spare change.

222. The Two Ring: Twice as powerful as The One Ring. (Original artifact do not steal)

I'm now imagining that all of these items are being sold by one merchant.

"Welcome to Starving Ned's Magical Emporium, where prices are so low I'm practically starving. I've got Wands of Rogue, Wands of Rouge, I'm practically swimming in Goggles of Eagle Vision! You wanna see eagles? COME ON DOWN!

Having problem with Ogres? WE HAVE THE KNIFE FOR YOU!
Want to fire halflings at people? WE HAVE THE ARROW FOR YOU!

Come down to Starving Ned's Magical Emporium, where ALL SALES ARE FINAL!

(All purchases final, no refund, returns or exchanges)"

*cue the jingle*

8BitNinja
2016-03-04, 11:12 PM
I'm now imagining that all of these items are being sold by one merchant.

"Welcome to Starving Ned's Magical Emporium, where prices are so low I'm practically starving. I've got Wands of Rogue, Wands of Rouge, I'm practically swimming in Goggles of Eagle Vision! You wanna see eagles? COME ON DOWN!

Having problem with Ogres? WE HAVE THE KNIFE FOR YOU!
Want to fire halflings at people? WE HAVE THE ARROW FOR YOU!

Come down to Starving Ned's Magical Emporium, where ALL SALES ARE FINAL!

(All purchases final, no refund, returns or exchanges)"

*cue the jingle*

Hey, these are mostly my items :smallbiggrin:

8BitNinja
2016-03-04, 11:15 PM
218: Deadale Wives' Knife: This knife has a +9 against Ogres so long as the player who's character has the dagger knows the location of the nearest bag of Cheetos and the nearest container of Mountain Dew.

223. Deadale Wives' Wand of Magic Missile: Casts Magic missile to attack the darkness, also changes the nearest elf's eyes from blue to grey

224. Deadale Wives' Shotglass: Makes you instantly drunk if you drink out of it at the tavern for 1d4+1/girls there hours

AmewTheFox
2016-03-04, 11:30 PM
225.Wand of Lesser Detect Magic- Only your sense of taste is attuned to detect magical effects.

226.Wand of Voribes' fir Thy (https://twitter.com/RoboRosewater/status/684104804549935105): When you deal melee damage, on the second day of the week, on the second week of the month, under a lunar eclipse, you regain 0 HP.

227.Wand of Fuse: You may activate this wand.

(trying to convert RoboRosewater cards is harder than I thought it would be. they all seem like perfect canadates for magic items that don't work right.)

Bohandas
2016-03-05, 01:07 AM
228.) Decanter of Endless Snakes: Created by the deranged god of humor Zagyg Yragerne, this stoppered bottle appears to mundane and magical analysis to be a Decanter of Endless Water. But when it's opened, Surprise!, it's full of deadly poisonous vipers.

dspeyer
2016-03-05, 01:07 AM
Seeing as we didn't regret the other thread too much...

229 Cursed Belt of Gender Changing

Does not alter the wearer's sex or personality in any way. If they had strong feeling about *being* a man or a woman, those feelings are now flipped.

goto124
2016-03-05, 04:55 AM
I did suggest a curse of changing someone's gender identity before...

230) Belt of Copyright Ownership: Causes the wearer to start claiming original ownership of various items and ideas.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-05, 05:11 AM
I'm sure there's a large market for those :smallamused:

Dragons, or lonely female humanoids? :smalltongue:

231. Orb of Tribble Control: this magical Orb allows you to command Tribbles.

goto124
2016-03-05, 05:21 AM
Dragons, or lonely female humanoids? :smalltongue:

Fire was involved.

Malachite
2016-03-05, 05:43 PM
9.The Dagger of Healing: You stab it into someone, and they are healed for a certain amount, but they also take the same amount as damage for being stabbed

Does this dagger therefore deal double damage to undead? Sounds too useful to me! :smalltongue:

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-05, 10:05 PM
Dragons, or lonely female humanoids? :smalltongue:

231. Orb of Tribble Control: this magical Orb allows you to command Tribbles.

232: Orb of Treble Control: this magical orb allows you to control the intensity of high-pitched noises.

goto124
2016-03-06, 02:28 AM
Does this dagger therefore deal double damage to undead? Sounds too useful to me! :smalltongue:

If so, it doubles as a foolproof Detect Undead.

*stabs a guy*
*guy is hurt, then healed*
"Oh, this guy isn't a vampire after all!"
"It still hurts! Why didn't you just use a Detect spell or garlic or something?"
"A vampire would've seen those coming! No one expects a healing dagger!"

Gallade
2016-03-06, 02:38 AM
232: Orb of Treble Control: this magical orb allows you to control the intensity of high-pitched noises.

233: Orb of Dribble control: Gives you a +10 CMD bonus against maneuvers to remove the orb from your possession.
234: Portable Plot Hole: Can be used to instantly move time forward several days/hours and end up in an entirely different place and situation with no indication or allusion to what happened in the meanwhile.
235: Portable Fourth Wall Hole: Can be used on any ceiling. Characters will be able to see the DM, players, and the room they're in from it.

goto124
2016-03-06, 03:04 AM
Does 235 force the GM to saw a hole in the gaming table?

Gallade
2016-03-06, 03:44 AM
Does 235 force the GM to saw a hole in the gaming table?

No, but if the models they're using have a roof or a ceiling they have to cut a hole through them.

JoeJ
2016-03-06, 02:30 PM
236 Wand of light detection. This wand appears white to normal vision only if there is any ambient light. In complete darkness, it turns black.

Lvl 2 Expert
2016-03-06, 02:48 PM
235: Portable Fourth Wall Hole: Can be used on any ceiling. Characters will be able to see the DM, players, and the room they're in from it.

That's not useless at all. PC's are power mad enough without consciously knowing they have plot armor. :smallwink:

Lurking drunk
2016-03-06, 04:01 PM
236. Mirror of Bad Day-
Mirror that always reflects you as drunk and dirty, with long unpolished nails, and rotten teeth, etc...
237. A Huge Red Button of Amnesia-
Compels you to press it and makes you forget why you just did it
238. Headband of Vast Fake Intellignce-
You sound intelligent as Einstein at worst, but you're still stupid.
239. Unseen Servant-
An invisible, mindless servant you just can't find right now
240. +bazillion vorpal shocking burst spell storing flame burst thundering bane everything ice burst all magical enchantments ever existed adamantine longsword-
cap is +10 ya cheater :smallbiggrin:
241. Beer bottle of soberity-
Makes you even more sober than before you drank it

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-06, 04:50 PM
236. Mirror of Bad Day-
Mirror that always reflects you as drunk and dirty, with long unpolished nails, and rotten teeth, etc...

242 Mirror of Bad Day: takes one down. Sings a sad song just to turn it around. Says it doesn't know. Tells you don't lie. Works at a smile and goes for a ride.

Gallade
2016-03-06, 04:58 PM
243: Shield of Hindsight: This shield provides a +4 deviation AC bonus against attacks which hit you during the last turn.

nedz
2016-03-06, 05:11 PM
244. Helm of Annihilation: summons spheres of Annihilation.

Drakeburn
2016-03-06, 08:37 PM
245. Butter Sword: A sword made entirely out of butter, which inflicts 1d4 nonlethal damage, and the wielder must make a check to resist having the weapon disarm itself. But it goes good on your toast

ThinkMinty
2016-03-06, 08:46 PM
If so, it doubles as a foolproof Detect Undead.

*stabs a guy*
*guy is hurt, then healed*
"Oh, this guy isn't a vampire after all!"
"It still hurts! Why didn't you just use a Detect spell or garlic or something?"
"A vampire would've seen those coming! No one expects a healing dagger!"

The Healing Dagger is actually useful, then. Torture implement, great against undead, sounds like a nice item.

8BitNinja
2016-03-06, 11:49 PM
246. Wand of Paula Dean: can turn any food item into butter

247. Ring of Temporary Pleasure: Makes wearer feel happy for 5 minutes, after 5 minutes it becomes an ordinary ring

248. Ninja Garb of 8 Bit Ninja: look, sound, act, and feel like 8 Bit Ninja

ReaderAt2046
2016-03-07, 10:04 AM
249: Bow of Sneezing: Deals no damage. If hit (touch attack), target is struck by an uncontrollable sneezing fit for 1d4 rounds.

250: Inon stone: Looks and behaves exactly like a Ioun Stone, but has no mechanical effect of any sort.

251: Ring of Visibility: While wearing this ring, you cannot be effected by any spell that grants invisibility or concealment.

ThinkMinty
2016-03-07, 12:33 PM
252. Ring of Schnell Turning: Allows the wearer to turn around really fast.

253. Ring of Lizardry: Allows the wearer to speak to lizards.

254. Helm of Similar Alignment: When worn, the wearer changes alignments as though affected by a Helm of Opposite Alignment, but only to one that is within one step of their previous alignment, as seen on this tiny chart:



LG
NG
CG


LN
TN
CN


LE
NE
CE

8BitNinja
2016-03-07, 01:28 PM
255. Bag of Infinite Holding: A bag that when an item is put inside, it is there forever

256. Ring of the Spy: Wearer attracts enemy spies to spy on him

257. Shortsword of Weakness: Wielder loses 1 strength/minute while wielding the sword, loss is permanent

258. Saddle of the Halfling: When applied to a mount, the mount turns into a halfling

259. Amulet of Drawing Affection: Everyone within a 30 foot radius of the wearer will follow the wearer, be unusually kind to them, and never leave them, soon becoming creepy and clingy. Wearer cannot take off the amulet

300. Supersoaker of Disgust: All water fired out of the supersoaker turns into urine :smallyuk:

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-07, 03:14 PM
301. Fanfiction McGuffin: can only be wielded by those called Marian Susan.

302. Sword of the Fighter: while this is in a character's possession they forget how to be decent with any other weapon.

303. Stovepipe Hat of Class: makes the user look like they are a better class than they are. Also gives +10 awesome, because it's a stovepipe.

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-07, 04:59 PM
259. Amulet of Drawing Affection: Everyone within a 30 foot radius of the wearer will follow the wearer, be unusually kind to them, and never leave them, soon becoming creepy and clingy. Wearer cannot take off the amulet



304. Amulet of Drawing Affection: Whenever the wearer witnesses displays of affection, they are compelled to make a drawing of it.

305. Cybernetic Tuxedo: I mean, what else do you really need to know? Look how cool it is. It doesn't do anything special, but look at it. SO COOL.

BootStrapTommy
2016-03-07, 05:17 PM
I've a list, somewhere. I will have to go find it.

8BitNinja
2016-03-07, 06:07 PM
306. Gauntlets of Spider Crawling: Upon equipping, black widows will crawl out of the gauntlets

307. Gauntlets of Gauntlet: Any who equips it will turn into a 1st level fighter and will stay a first level fighter, their armor will turn red, hear a voice in their head say "welcome red warrior" When ever they are hungry, they will hear, "red warrior needs food badly" At low HP they will hear "red warrior needs food badly" if they shoot a piece of food or a potion, the voice will say "red warrior shot the food/a potion" If an invisibility potion is consumed or an invisibility spell is cast, they will hear "red warrior now has brief invisibility"

Gallade
2016-03-08, 05:28 AM
308. The Naked Gun : This firearm gains +2 on To-Hit and critical confirmation rolls as long as the wielder is not wearing any clothes and is visible to the target.

Dexam
2016-03-08, 09:29 AM
309. Wand of Detection: conjures a magnifying glass, deerstalker hat, and smoking pipe for 1d4+1 hours; items are non-functional unless used in the process of solving a mystery or crime.

310. Wand of Detect Self. When activated gives the location of the bearer of the wand, relative to itself.

8BitNinja
2016-03-08, 10:06 AM
311. Ring of Rings: Wearer gets a random ring if a ring is not on their finger

Gallade
2016-03-09, 04:20 AM
312. All Fools Vest: This vest can, on command, summon any tool the wearer desires: however they disappear as soon as they are moved from the spot they appear in or touched by a creature or another tool.

313. Buffering cap: The wearer will occasionally freeze in place, then continue acting as if nothing had happened.

314. Sleeves of Many Garnishments: Putting these cloth tubes on instantly transforms everything else the user is wearing into an array of sauces, vegetables and spices.

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-09, 06:05 AM
315. Ring of Beyonce> Can only be worn by individuals that the original creator likes. (And yet he always seems to keep it until it's too late!]

316: Ring of Rings- Whenever worn, causes all nearby bells to ring incessantly

317; Wand of Inconsistent Punctuation: whenever mentioned in a post... this wand causes the post to have inconsistent punctuation?

Braininthejar2
2016-03-09, 07:11 AM
in an intrigue-based campaign, the 256 could be incredibly useful.

8BitNinja
2016-03-09, 09:37 AM
318) Armor of Teddy Bears: A part of the full Anti-Teddy arsenal forged by 8BitNinja, When hit, teddy bears fly harmlessly out of the armor, but only if a teddy bear hit you

319) Shield of Teddy Bears: A shield that is about as effective as a cardboard shield, but against a teddy bear's attack, it will absorb all damage

320) Gauntlets of Teddy Bears: Equipping the gauntlets will turn you into a teddy bear

I'm not sure what's left for the Anti-Teddy Arsenal, but please forge more gear for it

Lord Torath
2016-03-09, 02:28 PM
314. Sleeves of Many Garnishments: Putting these cloth tubes on instantly transforms everything else the user is wearing into an array of sauces, vegetables and spices.This could actually be quite fun as a gift to your significant other. Or if you're a bard. Is hot fudge considered a garnishment?

321) Spyglass of Clerification: Any humanoids seen through this spyglass will appear to be wearing clerical vestments of the user's religion. If the user has no religion, the vestments will be of the religion the user is most familiar with.

8BitNinja
2016-03-09, 02:32 PM
322) Boots of Teddy Bears: Everywhere the wearer steps, a hostile animated teddy bear will appear

323) Arrow of the Teddy: Upon firing, arrow will turn into a teddy bear

324) Wand of Teddy Bear Silence: If cast on 8BitNinja, he will stop talking about the Anti-Teddy Arsenal

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-09, 03:11 PM
325. Fortunate Cookies: These cookies cannot be eaten. Not because they are indestructible or anything, but because something always happens that saves the cookie from being eaten.

326. Boots of Water Walking: these boots leave wet footprints wherever you go.

327. Boots of Toots: Every step makes a fart noise.

328. Boots of Doots: While wearing these boots, the wearer is followed by several spoopy skeletons who play trumpets. And do nothing else.

329. Boots of Newts: Wearer will never be targetted by hostile newts.

8BitNinja
2016-03-09, 05:36 PM
330) Wand of Hugs: Summons an Unseen Servant who hugs you and then leaves

331) Wand of Bugs: Summons an insect who scurries away

332) Wand of Thug: Summons a bandit mugs you and takes all your stuff, leaving you for dead

333) Half Life 3: Makes the plane you are currently residing in collapse on itself. Once Half Life 3 is used, you cannot planar shift, no one in the plane can. Congratulations, you destroyed an entire plane and everyone in it, including you

334) Wand of Rug: Summons a Rug

Cealocanth
2016-03-10, 09:35 AM
335.) Amulet of Memes - Gives the wearer the irresistible urge to repeat every idea they hear to everyone they meet, regardless of how stupid the idea is, or how little sense it makes.

336.) Book of Forgotten Truths - The character who reads this book obtains infinite knowledge that birds can be stones can be bones can be treacle.

337.) Rod of Flux - The owner of the rod can measure flux.

338.) Tome of Doom - This blank tome emits doom at twelve times the background level.

339. Stone of the Seven Moons - This stone grants the user infinite arcane power as long as there are no less than seven full moons in the sky. (No, that moon isn't full. It was full 30 seconds ago. Too late.)

340.) Orb of Watchful Darkness - The user of this orb, should he stare long enough into the abyss, will see the abyss stare back at them.

8BitNinja
2016-03-10, 09:53 AM
341) Scabbard of Transmutation: Changes your weapon into a cheese stick, cheese stick disintegrates upon grasping it

342) Duck Call of 8 Bit Ninja: Calls 8BitNinja to your thread

343) Wand of Pain: Summons an Unseen Servant that kicks you in the crotch and leaves

344) Wand of Fake Fire: Fires a flag out of the tip with BANG! written on it, makes a "pew pew" sound"

345) Hat of the Slayer: Become a gnome child with green clothing, with no abilities except to browse memes

CrazyCrab
2016-03-10, 09:08 PM
Had a blast reading these posts, definitely needed it today! :smallwink:

Anyway, here's a couple...

346) Wand or Schrödinger's Familiar
Allows the user to cast 'Find Familiar' at will, but the familiar summoned will be and not be there. You're actually not even sure where it is. Or what it is.

347) Poopy Pants
Allows the wearer to cast 'prestidigitation' at will, but only letting them target their own crotch and allowing to create one very special smell. The wearer also loses all all control over their bowels.

348) Brick of Buttery Butter
An indestructible block of butter that can only be picked up by passing a successful DC 100 Dexterity check.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-10, 09:17 PM
349. Quantum sword: it's magical. Also, nonmagical. At least until used.

350. Pedant Tree: corrects your minor mistakes. Many druids have arrived at their friends' houses to find them abandoned.

8BitNinja
2016-03-10, 09:59 PM
351) Sword of Legend: A sword that talks nonstop about it's origin, the sword is also dull and can only be used to open your mail

JoeJ
2016-03-10, 10:44 PM
351) Sword of Legend: A sword that talks nonstop about it's origin, the sword is also dull and can only be used to open your mail

I see what you did there.

Kornaki
2016-03-10, 11:43 PM
352.) Hero's Gloves. Once per day, the wearer can snap his fingers and a hero sandwich appears in his hands. The wearer may select up to eight common meats, veggies and other toppings to go on the sandwich.

8BitNinja
2016-03-11, 12:56 AM
353) Scroll of Flight: a sentient scroll which flies away upon opening

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-11, 02:02 AM
353) Scroll of Flight: a sentient scroll which flies away upon opening

354: Scroll of Fight or Flight
Upon opening this scroll, the user has a huge adrenaline rush.

Gallade
2016-03-11, 02:33 AM
353) Scroll of Flight: a sentient scroll which flies away upon opening

355. Scroll of Fright: Upon unrolling this scroll, it shrieks in terror and runs away.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-11, 04:06 AM
356. Scroll of Haight: is a werewolf/mage/vampire/munchkin.

goto124
2016-03-11, 04:20 AM
357) Scroll of Height: You grow an inch taller.

8BitNinja
2016-03-11, 09:33 AM
Scroll of Might: A scroll that might do something if read, but probably not

RoyVG
2016-03-11, 09:44 AM
359) Infinite Scroll Case: This case has a thin slit from which an infinite scroll can be pulled. The scroll is not magical by itself, it just never seems to stop when you pull it out. It can be used to create magical scrolls. After pulling 1ft of scroll paper from the case, paper on the other side past 1ft will disintegrate immediately. If a spell is contained on this scroll, the magic is lost. Alternative versions of this case exist with different types of paper.

360) Box of turning: This box needs to be turned 360 degrees in any direction before it can be opened.

361) Box of returning: As the Box of turning, but it must be turned 360 decrease to close it.

8BitNinja
2016-03-11, 10:05 AM
362) Anti-TeddyTM Armor Stand: An armor stand to keep your Anti-TeddyTM arsenal. Teddy Bears cannot take anything off the armor stand

So come one, come all. Check out the newest tech in teddy bear combat, and it's magic! Introducing Anti-TeddyTM products. From a sword that destroys them, armor that fully protects you from them, gauntlets that let you become them, and more, you will be set to take on the hordes of fluffy evil! For a limited time, we'll get you 2 sets for the price of 1, 10,000 gold! That's a 20,000 gold value! Offer ends soon, so hurry!

Toofey
2016-03-11, 01:52 PM
#363

An "Empathic" Longsword

A special ability which causes an intelligent sword to explain how the other side in any given fight sees things.

8BitNinja
2016-03-11, 02:23 PM
364) Pencil of Homework: A pencil that does your homework... and ensures that you fail

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-14, 04:30 AM
365. The Correct Calendar
This Calendar always has the correct day circled with red ink. The only problem is that the calendar doesn't include any Thursdays. And it is always for last year. And actually it's just a bad calendar.

366. The Alien Blaster
This blaster was made in mexico and illegally crossed the border.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-14, 04:35 AM
367. Word a Day Calendar: for some reason, the word is always 'pretentious'.

368. Calendar of Cats: sure to disappoint all gift receivers.

369. Trump Card: might help you win.

370. Suit of Swords: hurts like Baator.

Rockphed
2016-03-14, 07:46 AM
370. Suit of Swords: hurts like Baator.

371. Sword of Suits: Can only be wielded by the most dapper person in a room. It has a fondness for evening wear, fancy hats, ruffles, and ribbons. It despises zippers, clanking armor (a single, very shiny, breastplate is okay), and clothing worn out of season. If an insufficiently dressed person tries to wield it, it flies out of their hand to plunge into a painting on a wall. Or just a wall if in a tacky place without paintings or tapestries. Will gripe and complain about how it never gets taken anywhere nice.

8BitNinja
2016-03-14, 10:04 AM
372) Trump Card: Summons Donald Trump

goto124
2016-03-14, 10:09 AM
373) Trap Card: When activated, shouts "You just activated... my trap card!" in a loud overbearing voice. It does nothing else though.

8BitNinja
2016-03-14, 01:38 PM
374) Sword of Destruction: Sword breaks upon striking anything, the struck object takes no damage

375) Mace of Windu: A mace that is colored purple

376) The Techronomicon: The Necronomicon on PDF

Mister Tom
2016-03-14, 02:48 PM
377. Amulet of true balance: protects Druids from the harmful effects of wearing a metal helm of opposite alignment.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-14, 03:44 PM
373) Trap Card: When activated, shouts "You just activated... my trap card!" in a loud overbearing voice. It does nothing else though.

378. Magic Card (red): does something when you tap into the magic power of a mountain.


376) The Techronomicon: The Necronomicon on PDF

I will not kid you, I was once in a game where you could buy a Grimoire of True Names featuring lots of demon names to use to control them. Or you could by a kindle of true names, which included everything the Grimoire did, gave you any other e-books you wanted for free (including reference books for academic skills), received periodic updates, and was half the price. The party ended up with three of the latter at character creation, including one owned by the poor Nun.

8BitNinja
2016-03-14, 04:51 PM
I will not kid you, I was once in a game where you could buy a Grimoire of True Names featuring lots of demon names to use to control them. Or you could by a kindle of true names, which included everything the Grimoire did, gave you any other e-books you wanted for free (including reference books for academic skills), received periodic updates, and was half the price. The party ended up with three of the latter at character creation, including one owned by the poor Nun.

What I'm truly surprised about is that a nun owns a book about summoning demons

SethoMarkus
2016-03-14, 04:52 PM
Boots of Irresistable Dance - Causes the wearer's dancing to be irresistible. Wearer may use Perform: Dance in place of a Diplomacy check once per day.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-14, 05:10 PM
What I'm truly surprised about is that a nun owns a book about summoning demons

Oh no, I was the only one with demon summoning books (I was a kook trying to become a priest, with a bad reputation among the clergy). We were part of a demon hunting investigative squad, so the book was used for research and helping to keep demons still while we banished them. It was sanctioned and updated by the church as an aid.

Out of interest, we came across many demon summoning for dummies books during the game. Including once where we accidentally gave them to the police and I snuck one out so our superior could have a look.

8BitNinja
2016-03-14, 09:13 PM
400) Sword of Greyskull: Once a day, the user may hold the sword over their head and yell "by the power of Greyskull, I have power" and have their clothes turn into spandex

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-14, 10:21 PM
400) Sword of Greyskull: Once a day, the user may hold the sword over their head and yell "by the power of Greyskull, I have power" and have their clothes turn into spandex

401: Sword of Gayskull
As Sword of Greyskull, but the spandex has sequins and is rainbow-colored.

402: Sword of Bayskull
As Sword of Greyskull, but when held overhead it causes a series of really impressive explosions to occur nearby.

403: Sword of Grayskull
As Sword of Greyskull, but uses American spelling.

404: Sword of Flambéskull
As Sword of Greyskull, but the spandex is on fire and delicious.

8BitNinja
2016-03-14, 11:19 PM
401: Sword of Gayskull
As Sword of Greyskull, but the spandex has sequins and is rainbow-colored.

402: Sword of Bayskull
As Sword of Greyskull, but when held overhead it causes a series of really impressive explosions to occur nearby.

403: Sword of Grayskull
As Sword of Greyskull, but uses American spelling.

404: Sword of Flambéskull
As Sword of Greyskull, but the spandex is on fire and delicious.

405) Sword of Clayskull: As Sword of Greyskull, but the spandex is clay

goto124
2016-03-14, 11:55 PM
406) Sword of Skull: As Sword of Greyskull, but the spandex is nothing but skulls and more skulls.

JoeJ
2016-03-15, 12:13 AM
407) Dancing sword. When the command word is spoken, the sword grows feet and starts tap dancing.

Mister Tom
2016-03-15, 01:38 AM
408. Plus fours daggers. No combat bonuses, but they do magically conceal themselves in any form of golfing trouser.

This may seem like a useful pair of magical hidden weapons, Until you forget they are there and sit down.

Also we seem to be missing items 379 through 399....

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-15, 02:01 AM
408. Plus fours daggers. No combat bonuses, but they do magically conceal themselves in any form of golfing trouser.

This may seem like a useful pair of magical hidden weapons, Until you forget they are there and sit down.

Also we seem to be missing items 379 through 399....

409. Decanter of Endless Cleaner
Keeps your kitchen spotless. FOREVER!

410: Enchanted Gobblin' Goblin
We don't know what he does, but he ate items 379-399 so it will probably be explosive. Please don't tap the glass.

Thisguy_
2016-03-15, 09:20 AM
411: Manual of manual-writing. When read, grants knowledge on the creation of Manuals of manual-writing, then degrades into dust. One author may have only one Manual of manual-writing active at once, and writing another while a previous manual is active causes the new manual to immediately degrade into dust.

8BitNinja
2016-03-15, 09:45 AM
412) Greeting Card of Lenin: Appears to be a normal Mother's Day greeting card, until the switch that comes with it is activated, and it starts leading constructs in making a communist government

A +5 High Five to anyone who gets the reference

413) Post 379 to 399: Acts like a normal post, but is invisisble

ReaderAt2046
2016-03-15, 07:42 PM
I think you mean:

413: Pumpkin of Spontaneous Ontological Failure: What pumpkin?

Anyway,

414: Orb of Awesomeness: Makes all your actions 20% more awesome. This doesn't provide any mechanical benefit, just extra coolness.

415: Amulet of Imposter Detection: Glows if within 20 ft of someone who is pretending to be someone else. Unfortunately, roleplaying qualifies as "pretending to be someone else".

416: Scrub's Flour: When brought into contact with exceptionally cheesy characters, explodes violently for 1d6 damage per handful per level of the cheesy character. One handful fills a 5 ft cube when tossed into the air.

417: Helmet of Curse Protection: When worn, automatically censors out profanity before it can reach your ears.

ImNotTrevor
2016-03-15, 07:47 PM
418: The Guns of Wu:
Whenever you roll a critical with these pistols, a flock of doves flies by behind you regardless of location or unlikelihood.

419: Helm of Farsight
Makes you farsighted.

420: Ganja's Gauntlets
Like, increases the damage deal by blunt weapons, dude. Hehehehehehe.

Mister Tom
2016-03-15, 07:57 PM
421. Wind of Washing.

Wand has 3+2d12 charges and is activated by gentle wafting motion. May only be used in combat and must be cast at clothed enemy creature. Use of the wand bestows a choice* of pleasing* scent on the target* that lasts all day*. The wand's effects do not have a saving throw and can only be dispelled by Greater Dispel Magic or limited wish.

*Outcome is dependant on dice rolls, although DMs are encouraged to use the same roll for each outcome

Scent roll (d12) Scent released
1-3 Citrus burst
4-5 Soothing Lavender
6-7. Sensual Ylang**
8-9. Pine Glade
10 Winter Jasmine
11 Mint Zinger
12. Fermenting Skunk Offal
Guaranteed at least 50% Ylang Ylang

Target roll (d12) creature(s) affected
1-8. Target Monster
9-11. Caster
12. d4 random caster allies

Duration roll (d12) duration
1-8. That number of rounds
9-11. Until sundown
12 Permanent.

Mister Tom
2016-03-15, 08:18 PM
422. Weathervane of contrariness

Its Eldrich power causes it to point away from the prevailing wind direction.

ThinkMinty
2016-03-16, 02:03 AM
422. Weathervane of contrariness

Its Eldrich power causes it to point away from the prevailing wind direction.

So it's still a useful weathervane?

Mister Tom
2016-03-16, 06:21 AM
So it's still a useful weathervane?
J
In the same way that The orb of detect slopes can be used to detect slopes, yes:smallbiggrin:. However, unlike the orb, you can't use it in an improvised game of boules.

8BitNinja
2016-03-16, 09:42 AM
423) Scroll of Unseen Assassin: When the scroll is read, an unseen servant will appear and kill you and anyone within a 1 mile radius of you

goto124
2016-03-16, 09:56 AM
an unseen servant will appear

That's not an unseen servant then!

ThinkMinty
2016-03-16, 10:29 AM
423) Scroll of Unseen Assassin: When the scroll is read, an unseen servant will appear and kill you and anyone within a 1 mile radius of you

Throw a peon who can activate the scroll into an enemy compound?

goto124
2016-03-16, 10:34 AM
GM: Your alignment is now Evil :smallannoyed:

((:smalltongue:))

ThinkMinty
2016-03-16, 10:36 AM
GM: Your alignment is now Evil :smallannoyed:

Is it the sacrifice of the peon, or the use on enemies that makes it evil? If it's not the latter, is there a way to activate a scroll with a delay? Would be fun to throw triggered scrolls like grenades.

goto124
2016-03-16, 10:41 AM
Wouldn't it be more evil to use it to kill your allies, though? :smalltongue:

424) Helm of Forget It: If a character has performed an action that opposes their alignment in the last 48 hours, the character can wear this helmet to erase all memories of said action.

lacco36
2016-03-16, 10:43 AM
Possible 425. Did anyone mention the Disarming Dagger? Whenever you attack someone while wielding it, you automatically disarm yourself (either you lose the second weapon you have, or you lose the dagger itself).

Possible 426. ...or Blade of Hiding? Whenever you want to draw it, you find out it has sneaked out and is hidden somewhere.

Possible 427. ...Rapier of Witty Insults? It is a cursed item, that inflicts a huge penalty on your attacks as it dodges the defender, but it will continuously insult your fighting style.

Mister Tom
2016-03-16, 10:47 AM
428. Wand of limited fish.

8BitNinja
2016-03-16, 01:33 PM
429) Belt of Truth: the wearer always tells the truth, and they expose all their secrets, The belt must be put on willingly for the effect to work

430) Shield of the Leprechaun: A small shield only big enough for a Leprechaun to wield, shield is made of bits of green clothing and doesn't work well for a shield

431) Flute of Summoning: Playing the flute summons the maker to you. This would be useful, but I am the one who made it

432) Ocarina of the Red Mercenary: Upon playing the Ocarina, the TF2 RED mercenaries will be called to you and will kill you

433) Lute of Boredom: Playing this lute will make you very bored

434)Banjo of Banjo: The Banjo of the puppet god, doesn't do anything because it is held by a puppet, but it's still magical

Mister Tom
2016-03-16, 01:58 PM
431) Flute of Summoning: Playing the flute summons the maker to you. This would be useful, but I am the one who made it

432) Ocarina of the Red Mercenary: Upon playing the Ocarina, the TF2 RED mercenaries will be called to you and will kill

Reminiscent of the green clarinet of embarrassing truths...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e7aaw4g2tJo

435) +3 chain mail: upon reading this letter the recipient must make their will save otherwise they feel compelled to make three copies of the letter and give them to other party members, plot critical NPCs or wandering monsters. Do not break the chain. One adventurer broke the chain and 94 turns later was killed by a soldier ant while hallucinating. DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN.

Mister Tom
2016-03-16, 02:03 PM
436 wand of circular negation: 2d4 charges. Can be used to negate the effects of another wand of circular negation. CANNOT be used to negate its own effects.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-16, 02:17 PM
428. Wand of limited fish.

Works perfectly with the Staff of Potato Products.

8BitNinja
2016-03-16, 02:18 PM
437) Wand of Teddy Bear: Summons a teddy bear to fight for you. Teddy bear has 1 hp, does no damage, and pretty much just stays there

Mister Tom
2016-03-16, 02:57 PM
438 The ring of fire. Any meat stew consumed by the wearer is transmuted into mutton vindaloo.

439. Boots of catlike tread: if the wearer encounters a locked door they will feel a compulsion to try to go through it. If another party member opens said door the wearer will immediately change their mind.

8BitNinja
2016-03-16, 08:13 PM
438 The ring of fire. Any meat stew consumed by the wearer is transmuted into mutton vindaloo.

440) Ring of Fire, other: Turns into the Johnny Cash song of the same name

goto124
2016-03-17, 08:52 AM
441) Earmuffs of Assumption: Any female voices of pain will be assumed by the wearer to be sounds of labor. Make a DC 10 Will save to avoid trying to help the 'pregnant' woman.

442) Belt of Opening: Can cast knock three times a day, but only on itself. The command word is "Behold!"

8BitNinja
2016-03-17, 09:38 AM
443) Mask of Alliteration: Wearer can only speak in alliterations

444) Ring of Salvation: Every time the wearer gets into a conflict, no matter how large, a 20th level paladin will rush in on a horse and save the wearer. It may sound incredibly useful, until you realize that you will never earn XP or gold by killing monsters again. It will also be impossible for adventures to go anywhere

445) Glasses of Intelligence: The glasses are magically imbued with an IQ of 250. That's it

gxnpt
2016-03-17, 11:38 AM
Ring of Invisibility
made of common materials and of no intrinsic value, when worn the ring itself becomes invisible

Spectacles of Appearance Detection
(tuned - actually slightly useful)
allows the wearer to experience the reaction a specific individual (usually a fashion expert) would have to an individuals appearence
only works in bright light, will not function for blind users but wearer must close their eyes to activate, individual being viewed must be within line of sight of the spectacles and no more than 10 feet away
(untuned)
allows the wearer to experience the reaction they themselves would have to an individuals appearence

Orb of Detect Light - when activated the orb will glow if light is present

The Portable Spot - looks just like a portable hole but there is no hole, just a black spot on a surface

Dice of Resting - instead of "resting" 8 hours to regain spells roll the dice to become comatose for 2-12 hours for the same benefits

8BitNinja
2016-03-17, 01:37 PM
451) Trumpet of War: After playing the trumpet, the closest kingdom will declare war on you. You will have no allies and it's you against a whole army

452) Saxophone of Jazz: Can play jazz music by itself, no use in combat. It can't even be played

453) Trombone of Pain: Playing this trombone will inflict 1d4 nonlethal damage on player. If player has braces, it will deal 1d4+5 nonlethal damage to player. (face it, the braces part applied for normal trombone or eve trumpet, I was in band an I know from personal experience)

454) Violin of Violence: Playing the violin will give you gruesome war flashbacks that you may or may not have been involved in.

455) Snare Drum of Snares: Playing the snare drum will turn it into a snare, which you will most certainly get your hand stuck in

Mister Tom
2016-03-19, 12:05 PM
Almondbread's deckchair of fractal folding (extremely rare).

In theory, a highly useful item constructed from an enchantment similar to that on a bag of holding. A stowed ACoFF fits inside a snuffbox and can, if the instructions are followed correctly, be unfolded into a sturdy hessian folding chair which will support the weight of a medium sized creature comfortably, making it the ideal travel accessory for prolonged dungeon crawls.

In practice, the instructions for unfolding are helpfully written on the fully unfolded chair. Its inventor, respected magician Ben-Wa Almondbread, vanished in mysterious circumstances shortly after its invention, leaving nothing behind indicating his whereabouts apart from a partially collapsed chair in which a flap of wizards robe could be seen, but not disentangled.

The character who is both capable enough to unfold the chair and brave enough to then sit in it may be rarer than the chair itself.

8BitNinja
2016-03-19, 01:18 PM
457) Scroll of Scrolling: when read, the computer you are using will scroll to the bottom of the webpage

Mister Tom
2016-03-19, 03:38 PM
Akbar's ring of detection: will detect and inform its wearer if they are in a trap.

ThinkMinty
2016-03-19, 03:42 PM
451) Trumpet of War: After playing the trumpet, the closest kingdom will declare war on you. You will have no allies and it's you against a whole army

In the context of a tabletop game, bring it on! Experience points and treasure that come to you? Sweet.


453) Trombone of Pain: Playing this trombone will inflict 1d4 nonlethal damage on player. If player has braces, it will deal 1d4+5 nonlethal damage to player. (face it, the braces part applied for normal trombone or eve trumpet, I was in band an I know from personal experience)

I had a similar experience with non-braces orthodontal stuff way way back in elementary school extracirricular band program times. I got a year better at trumpet in one session after I had the metal thing out of my mouth.


454) Violin of Violence: Playing the violin will give you gruesome war flashbacks that you may or may not have been involved in.

Seems like a violin that generates writing prompts. I want it.


455) Snare Drum of Snares: Playing the snare drum will turn it into a snare, which you will most certainly get your hand stuck in

Can be used as a trap to mess with drummers you don't like.


458. Hat of Disguise Intentions: The wearer of this classy vintage hat thinks they gain +4 Charisma. In actuality, any creature dealing with the wearer takes a -2 penalty to any Sense Motive checks due to a noxious aura of entitled smugness clouding their judgment. If the wearer ever fails a Charisma-based roll, they will compulsively complain about how they're such a nice person and how their own ineptitude is everyone else's fault.

459. Ring of Well Turning: The wearer automatically succeeds when attempting to turn.

JoeJ
2016-03-19, 10:34 PM
460. Well of soles. This well can be commanded to produce 1 edible fish per day. Unfortunately, it is located in the middle of the wilderness, many miles from the nearest settlement.

461. Well of voles. On command, this well produces 1 vole per day.

8BitNinja
2016-03-20, 02:59 AM
462) Scroll of Dreams: makes all of your dreams come true. Unfortunately, nightmares count, so have fun falling off a hiding while having your teeth falling out and landing at your work naked.

Gallade
2016-03-20, 05:45 AM
463) Wand of Dimension Odor: This wand lets you smell a place of your choice in your line of sight.

8BitNinja
2016-03-20, 11:39 AM
463) Wand of Dimension Odor: This wand lets you smell a place of your choice in your line of sight.

Actually pretty useful, since there are scents that can make you pass out or vomit

Cealocanth
2016-03-20, 12:22 PM
464.) Wand of Draining - The user can utilize this unusually pointy wand to remove liquids from suitably penetrable containers.

465.) Charm of the Gambler's Stone - In any game of rock-paper-scissors, the opponent to the owner of this item will throw rock 33% of the time.

466.) Bixby's Death Clock - This pocket-watch will display the time until the next death occurs in the entire multiverse.

467.) Melora's Flower of Pain - Blessed by the goddess of nature herself, this particular species of flower can feel pain.

Hbgplayer
2016-03-20, 02:15 PM
468) Cloak of Oblivious Obviousness
This cloak comes in three colors: Fuchia, Chartreuse, and Blaze Orange. Depending on the color, the cloak gives it wearer the ability to believe that she or he is gaining a +2, +4, or +6 bonus to hide checks, respectively. Instead, it is in fact giving a -2, -4, or -6 penalty on hide checks.
It cannot be removed without the use of a wish spell.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-20, 02:31 PM
460. Staff of Cleaning: this staff will clean your manor. Costs 500gp a month, plus board, and doesn't supply their own cleaning supplies. Complains if used as a weapon. May, in fact, not be a magic item but rather a load of cleaners.

461. Ring of Turning: when put on causes the wearer to spin 360°.

462. Roap on a Rope: this rope is handily attached to a Rope so you won't lose it. At both ends, and the knots are a pain to untie.

463. Church Cannon: doesn't fire due to being a pacifist.

8BitNinja
2016-03-21, 12:57 AM
464) Pool Cue of Pool: a pool cue that only works if you are playing pool in a pool

Mister Tom
2016-03-22, 08:33 AM
Cone Of Cold. The user now has his hands full of ice creams. Only usable in combat.

Gallade
2016-03-22, 09:20 AM
466) Wand of Magic Mistletoe: Causes mistletoe to appear floating above your head.

lacco36
2016-03-22, 09:24 AM
467. Dark Darkener of Darkness - I don't know what it is. It's too dark to see.

Gallade
2016-03-22, 10:17 AM
468) Self-respawning cake: When eaten, this cake teleports and reforms instantly in a random spot on the current plane. Since it's teleporting, it has none of the effects of eating cake, including flavor, nutrition or satiation. Also, you don't know how many people put it in their mouth before, and that's just gross.

8BitNinja
2016-03-22, 10:30 AM
469) Bingo Troll of Trolling: Throwing this item at a target will do no damage, instead, it will start singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-22, 10:36 AM
470. Scroll of Lists: this scroll manages to turn up on lists of magic items when read.

471. Sacred Hamburger +1: would be really filling, but a bunch of people stole it and plan to resurrect it.

Vinyadan
2016-03-22, 10:36 AM
472: Banana Of Inner Strength: After eating it, wielding this Banana grants a +5 to Will and Fort saves.

Steveio
2016-03-22, 10:37 AM
473. Disintegrating Wand: When activated, this metal wand quickly turns to dust. One use.

474. Steadfast Trousers: These average-looking pants become harder to remove as the wearer's need to use a restroom increases.

475. Unbound Boots: The laces of these boots become untied whenever the wearer is not looking at them.

8BitNinja
2016-03-22, 10:42 AM
476. The Elder Scroll: reading it will turn you into an old man, with none of the wisdom or experience

Vinyadan
2016-03-22, 10:47 AM
477. Green Quark - Smelly, spoiled dairy product. Key for gaining the powers granted by the Green Quark Adept class, on which it is better not to dwell.

Gallade
2016-03-22, 10:53 AM
478) Club of Fighting: First, you do not talk about this club. Second, you do NOT talk about this club.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-22, 11:14 AM
476. The Elder Scroll: reading it will turn you into an old man, with none of the wisdom or experience

479. The Older Scroll: was created about 2 days before an Elder Scroll.

480. Wand of Calling: it'll go wherever you will go.

Vinyadan
2016-03-22, 11:48 AM
481. Explosive Dunes - You probalby don't want to go in that desert.

Mister Tom
2016-03-22, 01:49 PM
481. Explosive Dunes - You probalby don't want to go in that desert.
482: Boots of dessert walking. The wearer is able to move without encumbrance over blancmange, steamed pudding and clafoutis.

8BitNinja
2016-03-22, 04:29 PM
483. Boots of Desert Walking: you can only walk in these boots if you are in the desert

Vinyadan
2016-03-22, 04:37 PM
483. Boots of Desert Walking: you can only walk in these boots if you are in the desert

484. Boots of Deserter Walking: as you wear them, you are compelled to walk away and leave your party.

Mister Tom
2016-03-22, 04:54 PM
485. Moccasins of desert walking: gradually fill with hot sand, regardless of terrain. (could be useful in the tundra I guess!)

Gallade
2016-03-22, 05:10 PM
485. Moccasins of desert walking: gradually fill with hot sand, regardless of terrain. (could be useful in the tundra I guess!)

486) Moccasin of Moccasins: When put on, the wearer will draw more attention from moccasin snakes.

Vinyadan
2016-03-22, 05:22 PM
486) Moccasin of Moccasins: When put on, the wearer will draw more attention from moccasin snakes.

487. Moccasins of Bites: each time this pair of moccasins is taken off, the person nearest to the wearer is forced to start biting them to keep them soft and flexible.

Mister Tom
2016-03-22, 06:38 PM
...ew.

Water Moccasins: two poisonous snakes transmuted into boots of water walking. The enchantment is designed to end on contact with water.

Kelb_Panthera
2016-03-22, 06:57 PM
468) Self-respawning cake: When eaten, this cake teleports and reforms instantly in a random spot on the current plane. Since it's teleporting, it has none of the effects of eating cake, including flavor, nutrition or satiation. Also, you don't know how many people put it in their mouth before, and that's just gross.

The cake is a lie!

What? Someone had to.