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View Full Version : 101 reasons why Greg's PC isn't with the party this week.



woodlandkammao
2016-03-07, 09:48 AM
What weird and wonderful reasons in game have you seen for a party member not being with the party for a session while the player was away?

1) The Lawful Evil Rogue had to meet with his parole officer.

2) The Wild Magic Sorcerer had turned himself invisible last session, and no-one could find him. Not even himself.

3) The Warlock had a tea party with his patron (the great Old One)

Douche
2016-03-07, 09:57 AM
4) We're doing a seafaring campaign, so every time this one guy doesn't make it (it's always the same guy) we say he's seasick and is below decks puking his guts out.

eru001
2016-03-07, 10:13 AM
We have used all of these excuses in various campaigns

*our barbarian went fishing, hooked a whale, and still hasn't given up trying to land it.

*The Mecha Pilot is stuck trying to navigate the Mech Support automated answering system "press 1 for ammunition"

*the vampire ran out of sunscreen

*Mage accidentally polymorphed self into squirrel, his familiar is a red tailed hawk, he has as such gone into hiding

*what do you mean he wasn't there last session, he was totally right behind you the whole time

*Pon Far

*Was arrested for Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking.

*as it turns out "pull the pin, throw the pin", is the wrong set of instructions, he'll need a day or two in the infirmary

*Friend Computer demanded Doughnuts, NOW! and he is making the delivery.

*the mountain offended him, he'll be back once it's a molehill

*Who? I'd don't know anyone by that name?

Segev
2016-03-07, 10:14 AM
5) Black-and-white disease. Strange affliction, usually relatively benign. Just causes people to fade into the background, be inept at anything plot-critical, but reasonably competent at minor background activities such as keeping watch over night or using skills passively. The party healbot can even do dumbfire point-and-click hit point restoration, if needs be. Just don't expect them to contribute much beyond that.

6) In a game I witnessed, but did not play in, the PCs all had a weird curse which would cause them to seemingly-randomly transform into plushies. This coincided, less than OOC mysteriously, with the presence or absence of the controlling player. There were other weird magics involved, including whatever one had dragged the PCs to the setting, as each had come from Somewhere Else.

Raimun
2016-03-07, 10:40 AM
Not really as per the original topic but instead of a PC going mysterious AWOL, there's the following:

Sudden, mysterious, unexplained change of personality. The party member acts very subdued and/but tries his/her best to act like normal but there will be bursts of uncharacteristic action from time to time. Cautious mages go all gung ho. Over zealous paladins lacking zeal. No one acts like there's something unusual going on. Is it a doppelganger or one of the pod people? No. An another player is playing the character.

Noyoki
2016-03-07, 10:52 AM
Here's a few that's been tossed around at my table.

The bard got into a music contest with a devil.

The bard is being forcibly wed to the mayor's daughter that he bed.

The wizard got lost in the mage section of the library.

The sorcerer has had a disagreement with the universe. He's currently spending time in the plane of nonexistence working things out.

The barbarian got angry at a particularly annoying fly and is currently running around the countryside trying to kill it.

The barbarian has been asked a math question and has warned the party with beheadment if they dare interfere.

The barbarian was wearing metal when it got really cold and is currently dealing with frostbite.

The alchemist is performing a delicate experiment and can't move from his location at this time.

The alchemist perfected his secret sauce recipe and is trying it out at the local tavern.

The cleric is currently having tea with his deity and won't be coming out of trance anytime soon.

The monk got drunk and we have no idea where he teleported off to.

The fighter has been mistaken for a member of the town militia and is now stuck on guard duty.

The fighter is donning his armor. He'll be with you in about twelve hours.

The rogue spotted something shiny and must have it no matter the consequences.

The rogue is reporting in to the local branch of the thieves guild.

The rogue had a favor called in from an old friend.

The assassin Leap of Faith'ed (or however you would past tense it) into a cart of cacti. Currently having needles removed from his posterior.

The necromancer has been chased out of town and has gone into hiding.

The ninja is there, he just decided not to do anything to help.

The druid pissed off a bear.

The druid pissed off a tree.

The paladin got into a debate about coconuts and swallows with another paladin.

Elderand
2016-03-07, 10:58 AM
Spastic colon.

Sam113097
2016-03-07, 11:21 AM
One of the potions they took last session was expired
They're just too good at hide-and-seek
Their in-laws came to visit

Inevitability
2016-03-07, 11:39 AM
34. Killed by a random monster. At the end of the session, they find a scroll of Resurrection.

Pex
2016-03-07, 01:03 PM
Unfortunate coincidence.

The reason Greg's PC is not with us this week is because we really do have a player named "Greg" and he passed away last year.

woodlandkammao
2016-03-07, 01:21 PM
Crap. Sorry for your loss man.

NRSASD
2016-03-07, 01:34 PM
Upon leaving our campaign, uncertain if they would return:

36. Our fishman heard a low-frequency call and jumped overboard, yelling "My people need me!"
37. We work in an expendable guard unit. PC is on another case, trying to solve the case of the missing mushrooms. Unrelated, the Queen's chef has just become a raving loony.

Taet
2016-03-07, 02:42 PM
Upon leaving our campaign, uncertain if they would return:

36. Our fishman heard a low-frequency call and jumped overboard, yelling "My people need me!"
37. We work in an expendable guard unit. PC is on another case, trying to solve the case of the missing mushrooms. Unrelated, the Queen's chef has just become a raving loony.
38. ...and is busy running for parliament. :smallwink:

Lord Torath
2016-03-07, 04:32 PM
Greg's character came down with a case of the "Vanishing Flu," a milder version of the deadly"Vaporizing Flu (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0387.html)". Typically lasts for 1-2 weeks, but usually results in a full recovery.

Genth
2016-03-07, 04:49 PM
38. ...and is busy running for parliament. :smallwink:

He's a real monster...

BootStrapTommy
2016-03-07, 06:11 PM
40. Because Greg's not here.

Pluto!
2016-03-07, 06:26 PM
Chronosynclastic Infundibulae.

Mith
2016-03-07, 06:36 PM
42) He has vanished in a poof of blue fire. Truesight will reveal him in the form of a ball of blue fire following the party.

(No you cannot load him up with all the loot in the temple so that you can haul it out)

Keltest
2016-03-07, 06:37 PM
42: He fell into the Bag of Holding looking for an item. Fortunately, we keep air tanks in there for just such an occurrence.

Jormengand
2016-03-07, 06:38 PM
We've had "He's in the magical land of Devon" (because the player was in Devon for some reason).

goto124
2016-03-07, 08:06 PM
I literally laughed out loud at plenty of these. Keep 'em coming!


2) The Wild Magic Sorcerer had turned himself invisible last session, and no-one could find him. Not even himself.

Related (http://i.imgur.com/QN2eo0t.jpg).

- The barbarian is busy in another dungeon. Guess she just wanted some time alone with the monsters.

Madbox
2016-03-07, 08:53 PM
The rogue did too well on his stealth check, and has transformed into a shadow.

Alex12
2016-03-07, 11:19 PM
A portal opened up, a guy reached out and grabbed the PC while yelling "You need to come right now, it's a matter of life or death!" dragged him through, and then the portal closed. He'll return later once his solo quest is done, with a reward that is mysteriously precisely appropriate to what the rest of the group got while he was gone.

Left to go on a smuggling mission to help advance the party goals while the rest of the party went to do the main quest.

His evaporating flu is acting up. Evaporating flu is a simultaneously mysterious and well-known disease that afflicts all adventurers, and only adventurers, and is completely incurable even by Epic-level magic and never goes away. People with evaporating flu occasionally evaporate (along with all their gear), and then later rematerialize (typically in the general vicinity of those they evaporated near) completely unharmed. Absolutely nobody questions this well-known phenomenon.

The Oracle's curse changed temporarily, such that at the start of any fight, he transforms into a completely indestructible statue until the end of the fight. His spell selection also changed such that he can only cast restorative spells. The mysterious forces that power his magic should return to normal soon enough.

Inevitability
2016-03-08, 12:33 AM
51 (let's keep track of the numbers, shall we?). The PC finds a one-use time machine, enters it, and travels to the future. He reappears as the session ends.

Coidzor
2016-03-08, 04:06 AM
52. (Used by a former DM) There's a disease plaguing the area that causes people and animals attached to them to fall into comas randomly for hours or days.

53. Accidentally stumbled into a portal to Sigil on the way to the loo.

54. Thrown into a labyrinth just as the incumbent Minotaur died of old age along with some Greek dude with a lotta twine.

55. Temporarily turned into a newt by a witch. (He'll get better)


The rogue did too well on his stealth check, and has transformed into a shadow.

A. Or hid in the big guy's shadow so well he got stuck.

B. Or hid in his own shadow, causing the universe to return an insufficient cheese error and reset. He should be reconstituted down the timeline.


We've had "He's in the magical land of Devon" (because the player was in Devon for some reason).

A. Devon being the local courtesan.

JohanOfKitten
2016-03-08, 04:12 AM
56. Busy to prepare her wedding (well, it was for a long time, cause she became DM for a while)

57. Busy to stitch the wedding dress of the other player (no kidding, big investment in Craft(stitching), fight with other players to kill the knock-out beast to keep its fur etc...)

nedz
2016-03-08, 04:30 AM
58. He's having a tryst with the Mule.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-08, 07:58 AM
59. We were supposed to rescue him this session, but the police are stumped (he freed himself in a solo session as the police arrived and turned up next week on about 1hp).

One I really want to use:

60. The bard's wives have caught up with him, and are arguing over which crossbow wedding is legitimate.

goto124
2016-03-08, 08:16 AM
60 a) And the bard's husbands! How did he get them pregnant?

60 b) ... and the rock too.

Talyn
2016-03-08, 09:29 AM
61. The wizard's thesis advisor is demanding an update, and teleported her back to his Tower. (We actually used that one in my current campaign.)

62. It was the paladin's turn to cook dinner, and he was therefore away from the rest of the group when they fell into the cave.

63. Guarding the duergar prisoners (who can change size and turn invisible, so that's a major, full-time job).

64. Off scouting the other branch of the dungeon.

Anonymouswizard
2016-03-08, 11:06 AM
60 a) And the bard's husbands! How did he get them pregnant?

60 b) ... and the rock too.

Sorry, my bad, I let him take Polymorph .

JAL_1138
2016-03-09, 10:51 AM
65. The gnome's latest invention exploded. Again. (Note: the missing PC need not be the gnome.)

66. The rogue spotted someone [to whom they owe a lot of money / from whom they stole something important].

67. The bard has to preserve one of their alternate identities and needed to make an appearance elsewhere.

68. The gnome exploded. Again.

69. Mazed by the Lady of Pain. They'll be back in 4,000 years from their subjective experience; next session from the party's. DM assigns an appropriate long-term/indefinite madness.

70. The warforged just BSOD'd with "Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot."

71. Taken by the mists; spend a while in Ravenloft. Somehow escaped, but they were too drunk to remember how.

72. The wizard was having a bad flashback to the time a housecat killed a good friend; spent the session with a thousand-yard stare doing nothing.

73. The first-level wizard cast their one spell for the day already and went back to town.

74. The bard found a silly-hat shop and may not leave for a week.

75. The bard was arrested on 823 counts of failure to make child-support payments.

76. The bard was arrested on 4,795 individual counts of fraud.

77. The cleric can't adventure on Sundays.

78. The paladin fell and is off at the temple. We're not sure exactly how he fell, but alcohol was involved. Three stories too; he's lucky he just sprained his elbow.

79. The monk is busy making a mandala at a nearby temple.

80. Someone linked the decker to TVTropes.

Roland St. Jude
2016-03-09, 10:54 AM
Sheriff: If you make this an actual discussion, it can stay here. But if it's a numbered list, that has to be moved to the message board game section.

wumpus
2016-03-09, 02:44 PM
70. The warforged just BSOD'd with "Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot."

In case of cleric, guru meditation error.



80. Someone linked the decker to TVTropes.
That is for more permanent loss of player/character. Or possibly similar to the Lady of Pain's 4000 years subjective time.

Coidzor
2016-03-09, 04:59 PM
The real question is, did TV tropes mutate and become lovecraftian in the forgotten depths of the abandoned old internet or did it evolve and persevere through the great server crashes and is still alive and well in the mundane way?

nedz
2016-03-09, 05:40 PM
The real question is, did TV tropes mutate and become lovecraftian in the forgotten depths of the abandoned old internet or did it evolve and persevere through the great server crashes and is still alive and well in the mundane way?

Well I'm pretty sure there are Lovecraftian tropes - which shouldn't be in TV Tropes, but apparently are at least ever since the day TV Tropes became all medium Shibboleths.

Anyway - about Greg's PC; haven't we created a new Trope here already ?
And no, I'm not going to check.

cobaltstarfire
2016-03-09, 05:48 PM
They turned into a balloon, which we got to tote along with us as we went...


The character is drunk/sick/distracted helping out with the natives at base camp.


Had I missed a day of the last RL campaign I was in it probably would have been something like "You don't know where Rylie got off to but she's not here" followed by "Rylie returns with new dents and dings in her armor" next time I'm around (there was a background reason for it, but it wasn't something that had yet been divulged/discovered about her yet to the other players)

JAL_1138
2016-03-09, 07:39 PM
In case of cleric, guru meditation error.


:smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin::smallbi ggrin::smallbiggrin:


For anybody wondering what we're talking about, "+++Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot+++" is a Discworld reference, a spoof of "divide by 0" errors. It was an error message that Hex, the sentient magi-tech computer at Unseen University, gave in response to a question, I think in Hogfather, might have been Reaper Man, been a while since I read them. "Guru Meditation Error" is an old error message from Amiga computers (has cropped up several places since) and perfectly in the spirit of the reference.

Vizzerdrix
2016-03-09, 08:15 PM
Had a character for a 3.5 game that I knew I wasnt going to be able to attend every session. Was a divine minion ardent into fiend of possesion. That way the party could just turn me into an item when I wasnt able to make it, or a croc and leave me to guard the horses.

goto124
2016-03-10, 01:08 AM
That is for more permanent loss of player/character. Or possibly similar to the Lady of Pain's 4000 years subjective time.

But much less painful. In fact it's heaven!

JAL_1138
2016-03-10, 01:35 AM
But much less painful. In fact it's heaven!

Except for the part where the decker dies of thirst while browsing tropes, anyway. :smalltongue:

DrewID
2016-03-11, 12:03 AM
Wadsworth: "Your first husband also disappeared."
Mrs. White: "But that was his job. He was an illusionist."
Wadsworth: "But he never reappeared!"
Mrs. White: "He wasn't a very good illusionist."

DrewID

Rater202
2016-03-11, 12:17 AM
Obviously what happened was that he wandered off alone in the dark and was eaten by a grue. However, it was a very large grue that ate him in one bite, and his armor is durable enough to protect him from the acid and cruhing stomach motions.

Geg's PC will be back next week, once he's either cut his way out, been coughed up, or...other.

arcane_asp
2016-03-11, 09:27 AM
:smallsmile:

In terms of "What happened to Greg's PC..."


Greg's PC got side-tracked following the party through the woods, and has stopped to pick flowers. He'll return once the bouquet is to his satisfaction.
As the sorceress teleported the PC's to the new location, Greg's PC got folded into a different space and will pop back into existence with the rest of the party after a few more encounters (or the start of the next session as it is otherwise known)

Lurking drunk
2016-03-11, 10:59 AM
· Greg's PC is doing...stuff with his GF and probably forgot they were fighting a demigod riding on a great wyrm red dragon

goto124
2016-03-11, 11:16 AM
A different kind of demigod is riding on a different kind of great wyrm red dragon :smallamused:

Segev
2016-03-11, 11:27 AM
· Greg's PC is doing...stuff with his GF and probably forgot they were fighting a demigod riding on a great wyrm red dragon

She must be pretty, um, engaging if she can interrupt such a fight so thoroughly that it is forgotten about mid-combat!

goto124
2016-03-11, 07:53 PM
- Greg's PC is off playing board games at the local inn (https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/tabletop_roleplaying.png).


She must be pretty, um, engaging if she can interrupt such a fight so thoroughly that it is forgotten about mid-combat!

Sneak peek of the upcoming list, 101 reasons why Greg's PC won't be with the party ever again:

- Greg's PC's GF turned out to be a succubus.

Alex12
2016-03-11, 08:39 PM
- Greg's PC is off playing board games at the local inn (https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/tabletop_roleplaying.png).



Sneak peek of the upcoming list, 101 reasons why Greg's PC won't be with the party ever again:

- Greg's PC's GF turned out to be a succubus.

Greg's PC's GF turned out to be a succubus, and Greg's PC had to go rescue his real girlfriend.

Greg's PC's GF turned out to be a succubus, and has been all along. Greg's PC needs some time to come to terms with this fact.

Coidzor
2016-03-11, 09:04 PM
Greg's PC went temporarily insane and is in the looney bin ranting about some entity named Greg abandoning him until he gets better.


Greg's PC's GF turned out to be a succubus, and Greg's PC had to go rescue his real girlfriend.

Greg's PC's GF turned out to be a succubus, and has been all along. Greg's PC needs some time to come to terms with this fact.

Greg's PC found out that he was actually the succubus and went to go kick Greg's actual PC out of her personnel files after he took over her spy ring.


Wadsworth: "Your first husband also disappeared."
Mrs. White: "But that was his job. He was an illusionist."
Wadsworth: "But he never reappeared!"
Mrs. White: "He wasn't a very good illusionist."

Clue movie?

DrewID
2016-03-11, 10:44 PM
Wadsworth: "Your first husband also disappeared."
Mrs. White: "But that was his job. He was an illusionist."
Wadsworth: "But he never reappeared!"
Mrs. White: "He wasn't a very good illusionist."

Clue movie?

Yes, indeed. Please take one "Communism was only a red herring" point.

DrewID

oshi
2016-03-12, 06:09 PM
They fell into the plot hole.

ZamielVanWeber
2016-03-12, 06:17 PM
One guy was really bad about showing before stopping entirely so he had a few. My favorites were the time he took the wrong road at a fork while scouting and went into the tengu infested canyon or when the DM decided to wave him off until we had word if he would be coming back so he was kidnapped be liopleurodons and went on an adventure went them.

gmoyes
2016-03-12, 07:29 PM
These were all in a campaign I was in.

-The barbarian is off getting drunk. Again.

-The catfolk is off chasing squirrels. Again.

-The alchemist is off hiding because of an experiment backfiring. Again.

-The oracle is off acting on vision they had. Again.

-The monk is off meditating. Again.

-Weird Sapphire bull**** deu ex machina Stuff. Again.

-Seriously, is the bard the only one who has been here the whole time?

Madbox
2016-03-12, 10:05 PM
Greg took a few courses on computer science and got full of himself and decided to swap it for a Linux :smalltongue:

The barbarian got in a staring contest with a painting.

The warlock's patron called in a favor.

The fighter was asked to give a presentation on the history of bladed weapons at the nearest university.

The bard's new band got a contract! It'll take a week for the band to disintegrate from petty rivalries and heavy drug use.

The druid went to a hippie jam band music festival.

The paladin or cleric's temple's high priest died, and they must attend a conference where the new leader will be chosen.

Alex12
2016-03-12, 11:20 PM
A freak magical accident meant the other PCs can no longer see the invisible stamp on Greg's forehead that says "PC" and so they no longer trust him with Important Party Matters.

Kami2awa
2016-03-14, 03:18 AM
Continuity error - the writers just forgot about him this week.

Erth16
2016-03-17, 12:17 PM
The wizard has come down with a horrid case of the sniffles and can't cast his spells today. Poor guy, fifth time this week.

Inevitability
2016-03-17, 02:55 PM
The character is sleeping and won't wake up. At all. If anyone tries to wake him up, he just mumbles a bit and then goes back to sleep. If the party moves, he sleepwalks after them.

I actually did this last session. It worked fine.

JAL_1138
2016-03-17, 04:47 PM
The gnome inadvertently sent himself into another dimension. Again.

JoeJ
2016-03-17, 05:03 PM
Another one of the gnome's pranks backfired. She'll be back as soon as she finishes getting all that honey off of her clothes.

edit: and out of her hair.

Esprit15
2016-03-17, 05:43 PM
The Warblade wanted to try his hand at scouting ahead.

The Thri-Kreen is going hunting with his people.

Keltest
2016-03-17, 06:34 PM
The wizard saw a sign that said "Up" and decided to see what it was talking about.


This has actually happened.

Tiri
2016-03-17, 11:05 PM
The ranger stepped on a single-use trap that teleported him 100 miles away. Luckily, he makes his way back in time for the next session and having levelled up like the rest of the party from the adventure of getting back to them.

Tiktik Ironclaw
2016-03-18, 07:27 PM
Well, numbering's all off, so I won't bother.

This is how my kobold sorc left the final session of an adventure in my group's morning D&D game:

The kobold face/leader, tired of waiting at the edge of town for his capricious and dimwitted allies, rides off into the sunset on his courser, ready to solo the graverobbers. Instead, he wanders into the desert with some beer, meets a dehydrated Eilistraeen priestess, and together with her ginger highwayman friend they rob a bar and start a pro-Eilistraee organization.

Kesnit
2016-03-19, 08:34 AM
Vampire: the Masquerade game. I had to miss about 2 months (we play every other week) because I was preparing to take a major professional exam. I am playing a Malkavian.

"Kevin is sitting in the corner, drooling on himself." Our housekeeper dusted me every few days.

When I made it back to the game, I just joined the party. They asked how I knew where to find them.

"I read the notes you left on the computer." (There were no notes on the computer.)

SimonMoon6
2016-03-20, 02:06 PM
One time, when a player was missing, the reason the PC was missing was: one night while everyone else was sleeping, he wandered out into the forest for a call of nature and got turned to stone by a wandering monster.

Or at least, that's what seemed to be the case. In actuality, the PC had been kidnapped by monsters who then very very quickly sculpted a statue that looked like the missing PC, so that the other PCs wouldn't come looking for him.

They eventually found him and rescued him anyway.

eru001
2016-03-21, 10:26 AM
From one of my campaigns

accidentally plane shifted self to the demi-elemental plane of bureaucracy, spent all of last session filling out form 47b193-A Request for Extra Planar Transport, Form 92g152-Q Interplanar Transport Licence Application, and defeating a red tape elemental.

goto124
2016-03-21, 10:34 AM
And I thought nothing could possibly defeat the Elemental Plane of Ranch Dressing :smallbiggrin:

eru001
2016-03-21, 12:59 PM
And I thought nothing could possibly defeat the Elemental Plane of Ranch Dressing :smallbiggrin:

to give credit where credit is due, that was the inspiration.

woodlandkammao
2016-03-21, 01:29 PM
From one of my campaigns

accidentally plane shifted self to the demi-elemental plane of bureaucracy, spent all of last session filling out form 47b193-A Request for Extra Planar Transport, Form 92g152-Q Interplanar Transport Licence Application, and defeating a red tape elemental.

I kinda want to sig that now.

upho
2016-03-23, 11:58 PM
This is hilarious! Here's a few I've witnessed:

The tiny petal sorcerer is having a terrible headache from last night's partying, and has locked himself inside his red velvet and satin clad private quarters in the top section of the half-ogre fighter's helmet. He'll come out once the bouncing has stopped and he's had some sleep.
The somewhat marinated "hill-billy" abyssal bloodline bloodrager tiefling has (inexplicably) opted to gain yet another rank in Craft (Alchemy), and is off fermenting his old socks in the hopes of making "fine spirits with a uniquely deep flavor"...
The goblin alchemist accidentally stepped on one of his bombs and concluded the "badaboom" was dangerously weak. He's hobbled back to town to improve the formula and have his eardrums and leg regenerated back.
The master summoner is off to a retreat for burned-out senior executives, having found out that getting "Leadership" actually just made leading even harder.

And of course:

Some kind of evil genius reads this thread out loud to Greg's PC via sending, and he's incapable of helping the party while laughing his guts out.

JAL_1138
2016-03-24, 08:29 AM
The gnome was called away on urgent matters involving Giant Space Hamsters. Apparently the fire-breathing phase doppelgänger Giant Space Hamster (and yes, that was a real, published monster in the Compendium in 2e) got loose again.

Lord Torath
2016-03-24, 01:34 PM
The gnome was called away on urgent matters involving Giant Space Hamsters. Apparently the fire-breathing phase doppelgänger Giant Space Hamster (and yes, that was a real, published monster in the Compendium in 2e) got loose again.Also know as the FBPDGSH:
"We completely fail to see why everyone is so upset, especially since biology is such an inexact science and for every step we take forward there must be two steps backward but anyway we said we were sorry and we'd like our funding back so we can pay our bail and go home."

137ben
2016-03-24, 01:38 PM
One we actually got to use is
P1: Hmm, Greg's PC died last week. Again.
P2: No problem, we can raise them again for the 235902375th time.
P3: Actually, Greg's PC could be more trouble than help in what we're about to do. Let's just wait to raise them until a more appropriate time (like whenever Greg is back).

runeghost
2016-03-24, 03:16 PM
The temperamental mad scientist PC took offense at something he said, and injected him with a substance that put him in suspended animation for a week. And then locked him in the trunk.

eru001
2016-03-24, 03:23 PM
there was an unfortunate incident involving a bag of holding, angry chickens, a scrying orb, and a 404 error. Greg has not been found

JAL_1138
2016-03-24, 03:42 PM
Also know as the FBPDGSH:
"We completely fail to see why everyone is so upset, especially since biology is such an inexact science and for every step we take forward there must be two steps backward but anyway we said we were sorry and we'd like our funding back so we can pay our bail and go home."

I loved the running gag in the entry of the gnomish biologists trying to defend their increasingly-poor decisions. That one was the best of the lot. :smallbiggrin: