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DJ Yung Crunk
2016-05-01, 09:49 AM
Howdy, y'all. Just wanted to get a little chin wag going about that old roleplaying minefield. It's inspired partially by a campaign that I'm currently in. My character is getting quite close to the sorceress, as played by another person. Although the DM and other players have said they'd welcome this development in our PCs I've looked online and found some very reasonable pitfalls to consider.

So, in a story driven game is it feasible for two players to have their characters shack up? The potential benefits from a story perspective are boundless, of course. Aside from giving new insight and perspectives on our characters it could give us stakes or motivation to fuel plot hooks. On the flipside, however, we do run the risk of taking focus away from other players. It's easy to say now that we'll be vigilant but in the moment things can be difficult to tell.

So, I'm leaning towards going for it and keeping a close watch, but how do you feel about it? Have you had any experience with this in your own campaigns? Successes? Failures? Just general thoughts on the concept?

DigoDragon
2016-05-01, 10:08 AM
I recently participated in a campaign with PC-to-PC romance. What the two players did was discuss how far they wanted to go with the romance interest and then kept it to downtime where it wouldn't get in the way of the story. Basically, when on business of dungeon delving and the like, business comes first so the romances doesn't get in the way of the group. But on downtime when everyone is doing their own thing, that's a good time for it.

As long as the players are all mature enough to handle romance subplots, it should be okay.

DJ Yung Crunk
2016-05-01, 12:05 PM
As long as the players are all mature enough to handle romance subplots, it should be okay.

We're all completely immature, but we're on the same wavelength so I don't think it'll be a problem.

Honest Tiefling
2016-05-01, 12:07 PM
If the players cannot handle romance, they likely couldn't handle other entanglements such as kinship ties, similar religion or favoring one person's company over another. I do have to agree with the idea of keeping it to downtime. Don't be the couple that wants to make out on the altar to unspeakable creatures, please! But honestly, unless one of you is married in real life and the RP causes issues with that or you focus solely on each other or hog the spolight, you'll be fine.

If the other players and the DM are okay with it, it sounds like they trust you not to do something silly. They've given you the a-okay, so go ahead! If there's one person in the group whose better at bringing things up, I'd occasionally check in with them if things are getting out of hand.


I am also going to assume this the same campaign where everyone decided to enact a plan with skimpy clothing, in which case, I'd suggest expecting and tossing out some dirty jokes. Seems in line with the story.

DJ Yung Crunk
2016-05-01, 12:27 PM
I am also going to assume this the same campaign where everyone decided to enact a plan with skimpy clothing, in which case, I'd suggest expecting and tossing out some dirty jokes. Seems in line with the story.

Well, yes, this entire thing was brought up for its comedy potential. You already know the characters for which I speak, but we're going for that odd-couple sitcom cliche, you know. "One's an uptight dragonborn Paladin, the other's a fun-loving elven Sorceress, coming Thursdays to CBS!"

We figured that since character interaction is the prime directive of this campaign we could get away with it. Still, I'm a chronic overthinker and didn't want to commit unless I had braced myself for the pitfalls.

Plus the subject just fascinates me and I want people's thoughts on it.

Honest Tiefling
2016-05-01, 12:38 PM
Prepare some ways to involve some others. Such as...Concerns about physical differences that you have to bring up to the rest of the party. Or it worked for you, how about you meet that nice lady paladin from my church? I think you'll like her! Uh-oh, your lady friend's birthday is coming up. You need to acquire the perfect gift and need some help from your friends to do so. If they're smart, perhaps they can nudge your character into completing a job they want done and incidentally get a gift along the way. Of course you'll agree to owe them one afterwards! So now they have a hook to decide the next wacky adventure because of the relationship.

DJ Yung Crunk
2016-05-01, 12:41 PM
Prepare some ways to involve some others. Such as...Concerns about physical differences that you have to bring up to the rest of the party. Or it worked for you, how about you meet that nice lady paladin from my church? I think you'll like her! Uh-oh, your lady friend's birthday is coming up. You need to acquire the perfect gift and need some help from your friends to do so. If they're smart, perhaps they can nudge your character into completing a job they want done and incidentally get a gift along the way. Of course you'll agree to owe them one afterwards! So now they have a hook to decide the next wacky adventure because of the relationship.

All good. The first one has been exhausted. These two have been adventurers-with-benefits for some time.

Talyn
2016-05-01, 06:17 PM
Are you and the other PC in a romantic (or potentially romantic) relationship outside of the game?

If you are, then be aware of two pitfalls.
(1) Annoying the other players at the table. As some of the other posters have said, don't waste other players' game time with you and your SO having a 'date' in game.
(2) Confusing OOC and IC problems. If you are dating and your characters are dating, it's tempting to bring whatever issues you are having in one area into the other, and that's just a recipe for arguments and hurt feelings.

If, on the other hand, you and the other PC are NOT in a romantic relationship OOC, you should be wary of how non-gaming significant others view the IC romance. Jealousy, misunderstandings, and the potential for really unpleasant drama abound, especially if, as you stated before, you and the people at your table will have trouble being mature about it.

Jay R
2016-05-01, 07:46 PM
I've posted this before, but it's still the best example of PC romance that didn't disrupt the game.

In a 2E game, my character was Ornrandir, a male elven mage/thief, given the title of the Earl of Devon by the king. He was an outcast orphan who had only recently formed any attachments to anybody. I had played him as emotionally undeveloped but brilliant. My wife was playing Rowena, a female human wizard, a lady-in-waiting to the queen. She had been in an ivory tower (literally) studying magic since she was a child. She played her as an extreme nerd. The royalty had started leaning on us to make political marriages, which is to say that the DM wanted to do some political intrigue. We decided to trump the whole romantic process and sent the following email to the entire gaming group.

A situation has occurred. It will affect the party to some extent, so I guess you should all hear about it. The two of us decided to explain it to you in character, so here it is.

(You may ignore which account this email came from; it was written by the two of us together.)
-----------------------

Rowena has been traveling to Devon Manor regularly to do magical research stuff and help set up the schools there, make scrolls, etc. The next time she visits after a Certain Conversation with the Queen, once she and Ornrandir are alone in the study where they work together on magic, she initiates the following conversation:

Rowena: The Queen tells me I really ought to give some thought to perpetuating magical bloodlines and recommends I consider marrying you.

Ornrandir: I’ve heard similar rumblings. Countess Elanor told me I have to find someone to marry, too. Something about an heir for the county.

Rowena: It is a rational idea. It is just that I have never really considered it before. I have been rather busy learning magic; all that physical stuff seemed so…worldly.

Ornrandir: I certainly know little about it. I’ve never had any family, and I've been an outcast all my life, except for those occasions when the only female I’ve traveled with was Lorelei, the paladin.

Rowena: The gaggle of giggling girls I must spend time with these days seems so focused on the idea.

Ornrandir: I know. Everyone but you is so stupid.

Rowena: I am already spending a lot of time here anyway.

Ornrandir: My servants wouldn’t have to prepare separate rooms for you each time. That would be convenient. And we seem able to get along.

Rowena: After all, we worked well together blasting hundreds of goblins with lightning bolts.

Ornrandir: I enjoyed casting coordinated lightning bolts with you. I’ve never felt so connected to another person before.

Rowena: After that, how difficult could this marriage thing be?

Ornrandir: Love is one of the strongest and most mysterious forces of the universe. Of course, controlling arcane cosmic forces is what wizards do. Maybe we should research a spell for it?

Rowena: As a mage, I will not age as quickly as normals; being elven, you of course will not age at all, so I really do not see why we need to be in a big hurry. And why should I care about being considered – how did she put it? Oh, yes – an "old maid".

Ornrandir: That seems like a meaningless phrase. Everybody becomes old, and an unmarried woman is of course a maid.

Rowena: On the other hand, your life expectancy, given your penchant for getting into trouble, isn’t exactly eternal. [looks him up and down appraisingly] At least if I marry you, you won’t keep getting ripped off by the tailors. You paid far too much for that rag you’re wearing.

Ornrandir: Fine by me. I’d be happy not to have to think about clothes any more.

Rowena: You thought about … that?

Ornrandir: Of course. It has a fleece collar, so I always have the material component for Phantasmal Force, feathers as decorations so I can fly, and several pockets worked into it here for other components. It has two internal pockets for scrolls, this hidden pocket for a dagger, and Lorelei will never figure out where the thieves’ tools are. It's green, for easy concealment in the trees. See? I carefully considered every relevant sartorial issue.

Rowena: I see. Yes, I believe I should take over those decisions. [Pause.] I would prefer to avoid that spectacle that Aduphus went through to marry Lady Stanley. The collective intelligence of her Majesty’s ladies dropped like a stone the instant someone said, “wedding”, and all they could talk about for weeks was fripperies and lace. Why do you think I spent so much time here writing out scrolls?

Ornrandir: Believe me, I understand. Since I developed the gold and mithril mines, all the nobles have been throwing their daughters at me. A year earlier they were offended that I was allowed to carry a weapon, and now they want me to sheathe one in their daughters.

Rowena: So how quickly can we get this over with?

Ornrandir: Well, when they assigned us to go fetch the Prince, we started out on the task immediately. Is the priest available today?

Rowena: I suppose we need to tell the Queen first. She might have an opinion about how it is done. So we are fully agreed about the marriage?

Ornrandir: It does seem like the logical thing to do [says the pointy-eared member of the couple].

Rowena: I’m glad we were able to work this out rationally, without the usual tawdry, emotional mess.

Ornrandir: Of course. We may be the two most intelligent people on the planet. We won’t let maudlin sentimentality distract us from rational analysis.

Rowena: Well, I am glad that that is settled. Now back to important matters - about that scroll we were discussing…

DJ Yung Crunk
2016-05-01, 09:11 PM
Are you and the other PC in a romantic (or potentially romantic) relationship outside of the game?

I only know her from the game. She's got a girlfriend I've never met.


If, on the other hand, you and the other PC are NOT in a romantic relationship OOC, you should be wary of how non-gaming significant others view the IC romance. Jealousy, misunderstandings, and the potential for really unpleasant drama abound, especially if, as you stated before, you and the people at your table will have trouble being mature about it.

They'll have trouble being mature about it, but probably not in that way. This group has rather 12-year-old humour and we frequently get into those tangents. Our Rogue once flashed a noble in order to distract them and that turned into a 45 minute detour with dice-rolling to determine the specifics of his anatomy. I suspect the romance will be embraced as an opportunity to make cracks.

Remember, they've already been shacking up for a few in-game months now. We've heard quite a bit of it already.


-snip-

I'm not super familiar with your characters, so maybe I'm misreading them, but that doesn't seem a whole lot like romance or love.

LibraryOgre
2016-05-02, 11:59 AM
Sure, it's possible, but it should be driven by the players. I've had it happen on several occasions, both as a player and as a GM, and have only really had problems when one or both players were involved in relationships with others at the table...

If it's a couple out of game playing a couple in game, their real-life problems MIGHT bleed to the table.
If it's one member of an out-of-game couple coupling with someone else in-game, there can be interpersonal issues.

My go-to story was from L5R, years ago. The wife of a player was the GM, and the player himself started getting flirting with an NPC. She had to stop and take some stock when she realized she was getting jealous... of his character, flirting with an NPC, played by her.

ImNotTrevor
2016-05-02, 02:51 PM
The best experience I've had with this sort of thing is in a game of Apocalypse World I ran about a year ago now.

Basically, I managed to have two PCs who both became romantically involved with NPCs. One with minor prodding from me, the other entirely out of the blue.

Believe it or not, Apocalypse World has the assumption of romance and sexual relations already baked in, with actual mechanical benefits. (For instance, if the class called The Faceless has sex with someone, and later that person is in danger, they can spend a resource to just arrive there. No explanation required, they're just there.) In a way, it makes sexual/romantic relationships between characters less awkward, because it has those actual mechanical benefits, and you can always just fade to black before things get heavy.

I dunno. I had a better experience with it in AW than in other systems. Ymmv.

DJ Yung Crunk
2016-05-20, 08:55 AM
I dunno. I had a better experience with it in AW than in other systems. Ymmv.

Having mechanical benefits should bring the people who don't exactly role play out of our shell. But we're all pretty lackadaisical about the rules and mostly use this as a springboard for a collaborative story.

kraftcheese
2016-05-20, 09:57 AM
Prepare some ways to involve some others. Such as...Concerns about physical differences that you have to bring up to the rest of the party. Or it worked for you, how about you meet that nice lady paladin from my church? I think you'll like her! Uh-oh, your lady friend's birthday is coming up. You need to acquire the perfect gift and need some help from your friends to do so. If they're smart, perhaps they can nudge your character into completing a job they want done and incidentally get a gift along the way. Of course you'll agree to owe them one afterwards! So now they have a hook to decide the next wacky adventure because of the relationship.

"What do you soft-skinned, pith-fleshed mammals gift your lovers? The still warm, bloody carcass of a beast? A princess with flaxen hair? A hoard of hard gems to stick to your belly as protection from arrows? It's the gems, isn't it?"

GrayGriffin
2016-05-20, 10:38 AM
I have dragged multiple games into the romance zone, but always with a willing OOC partner and the GM's approval. Currently I'm trying to build a slow burn for one of my ships in a PBP game. Meanwhile both the live games have had their couples get together already.

kraftcheese
2016-05-21, 04:33 AM
I also love
Me too buddy, me too

Jay R
2016-05-21, 08:26 AM
I'm not super familiar with your characters, so maybe I'm misreading them, but that doesn't seem a whole lot like romance or love.

Oh, they've grown to love each other, in a Sheldon & Amy sort of way. But she's still a naive ivory-tower research wizard, and he's still a socially inept loner.

DJ Yung Crunk
2016-05-23, 08:39 AM
Oh, they've grown to love each other, in a Sheldon & Amy sort of way.

Rrrriiiigghhht...

Those guys...

Those two and their... chemistry and their... y'know... love and...

Ah, screw it. Who?

Evelyn Elliott
2016-05-23, 12:36 PM
Have you had any experience with this in your own campaigns? Successes? Failures? Just general thoughts on the concept?

I'm probably the minority here, but I love involving romance in my campaigns. You want characters to care about each other and have relationships with each other... as friends, as rivals, as mentor and student... or even as lovers.


If you want to hit on another player's character, ask them ahead of time if it's okay.
If it feels awkward, don't do it.
If another player doesn't like romance, don't hit on them.
Don't do sexual stuff on-screen. Fade to black.


My latest romance:

Bear and Coyote are mercenaries. Bear is a big, burly hero. Coyote is a sweet-talking bard who follows Bear around and sings songs about how great he is.

Anyway, Bear is gay. It started off as a joke where he'd hit on Coyote and Coyote would turn him down. Over time, though, Coyote has been warming up to the idea. They've been best friends since childhood, and they've adventured together for years. They fight side by side... they saved the world together...

It's added a lot of drama. There was a session where Coyote betrayed the group and Bear punched him in the face. Later, Coyote was captured and tortured by the Bad Guy, and Bear had to track him down and save him. We're at the point now where they're both in love, but they haven't slept together yet.

As long as you don't make it awkward, it won't be awkward. Also, keep it out of the spotlight. If there's something important you want to roleplay, but you don't want to bother the group, you can roleplay the conversation by yourself. I'm doing that with another player right now. She wants to talk to Coyote alone (she's trying to steal him away from Bear) so we're roleplaying it out through text messages.

Jay R
2016-05-23, 08:17 PM
Rrrriiiigghhht...

Those guys...

Those two and their... chemistry and their... y'know... love and...

Ah, screw it. Who?

Characters on The Big Bang Theory. As a Ph.D. who plays D&D and reads comics, I love that TV show about Ph.D.'s who play D&D and reads comics

Lorsa
2016-05-25, 09:12 AM
Characters on The Big Bang Theory. As a Ph.D. who plays D&D and reads comics, I love that TV show about Ph.D.'s who play D&D and reads comics

Sadly, I am just an engineer. I haven't even been to space.

ElFi
2016-05-25, 09:52 AM
Like everyone else has said, if you handle it maturely (or as closely as you can manage), and keep IC and OOC problems separate, it should be fine.

I'm currently GMing a campaign wherein two PC's are romancing two unrelated NPC's. All of my players are heterosexual males who play heterosexual males (well, one of the PC's has a sentient plant for a girlfriend, but that's another story for another day), as am I (though I'm occasionally known to play female characters, whatever fits the concept). So far, nothing sexual has happened in either case, but it'll just fade to black if it does.

So, yeah. As long as it doesn't get weird, and you handle it with some level of maturity, you hopefully shouldn't expect any issues.