PDA

View Full Version : DM Help Debating trying to DM again.



Odessa333
2016-05-04, 11:07 AM
Hey there!


So as the topic says, I'm torn on the issue of trying to DM again. I had a good streak of DM'ing for ten years to a core group that loved my stories, and I loved doing it. When the group disbanded, I turned to things like roll20, and have been a player for some time. I tried to DM on roll20 once, and to be frank it was a disaster. The group didn't care about the world building I had done, and openly mocked the NPC's and laughed at the names I made. The attitude rattled me, and I lost faith in that campaign. It didn't help that I became badly ill around that time and missed several sessions of my own game. I stopped it less than 2 months in. It was an embarrassment I won't ever forget.

So here I am now, and for reasons even I don't understand, I'm tempted to try it again. I have so many IDEAS of what I could do, and yet I'm hesitant to go through with it. I'm afraid to put myself out there, inviting insults from the internet as I'm already an open target (transgender lesbian pagan, so you know conservatives love me). I'm torn on running a standard module to test the waters, going nuts with a homebrew sandbox, and just giving up altogether.

I could really use a second (or third, fourth, etc) opinion, and I don't have anyone to ask. So as a test run, internet... what do you suggest?

Comet
2016-05-04, 11:40 AM
You should absolutely keep on GMing! You already know you're really good at it and can have fun with it.

But you're right to be a bit nervous about finding a new group, especially online. Honestly, this damn hobby is way too inviting for dysfunctional, bad people looking for an escape vent at everyone else's expense.

But don't let that discourage you. Instead, play the field to bypass those statistics. When you're posting your notice for a new group, be open and upfront about your past experiences. Tell any potential players about what kinds of games you like to play, what kinds of group dynamics you enjoy and what kinds of people you like to hang out with. You need to find players that you would like hanging out with, even outside of the game, so make sure to keep those lines of communication open until you find those people.

It might be awkward at first, for sure, so your idea about testing the waters with a module is not a bad one. Making a new gaming group out of thin air is kind of hard, but definitely doable.

gatewatcher
2016-05-04, 12:35 PM
From what you describe the players were just interested in different things, didn't share your sense of humor, or just came to the table to joke around. I assume these were strangers?

A group of random people can fail to have fun together. Reroll and don't let it get to you. Not just any group of 5 people can play an RPG more than a few sessions and it's no failing of yours. I've known my players for decades; which only means we're more comfortable arguing.


The most common answer I see on this, and I agree with it, is a session zero. Get your players in a room or on video chat and spend most of this time talking about what you run and what they are interested; both sides are important. Why do they play? Gradually nudge them towards speaking in character if they are the type to do that. Ask them questions to get them thinking about who you are talking to.

Concessions are fine; but don't feel like you have to commit to running a game you aren't interested in. Your excitement/boredom in the setting will be contagious.

I don't even lock character sheets in until session 1. Players may want to change their characters based upon what you, or the other players, say.

Have the first encounter be as much "you" as possible; just above normal on the interest curve to give you room to go up. Break the ice with a Tarrasque (perhaps literally). If it fails you know early. If it works you got them hooked.

But if you say "Lord Buttersnips of the Sugerfields greets you in his grand audience pastry Chamber. He beseeches you to a coffee table with every pastry you can imagine and offers one to you. You feel this may be a subtle test of your character. Which do you choose?" and they all look at you like you're mad, and not in a good way, well I guess we got that out of the way. Who wants a danish?

Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.

Honest Tiefling
2016-05-04, 12:46 PM
You should! You enjoyed it, and don't let those jerks stop you. My suggestion is to run a short little one shot that could potentially blossom into a full fledged campaign you want to run. Things like zombies attack a town, you need to escape a prison, or bandits need to be stopped. Short, simple, but can be used as stepping stones.

This way, you can filter out people based on your mutual desires. You probably won't feel like all of your hard work went to waste, as the larger stories weren't built around players that you really shouldn't invite back. There are people who want to hear about your world and stories, don't let one group get you down. If anything, I think hack n' slash types might be in the minority in a few forums here. And I'd like to think they are more polite then the group you seemed to have run into!

Airk
2016-05-04, 01:27 PM
Why not like, screen for players that aren't jerks before GMing for them? :)

And yes, for love of Bob, do NOT start with a "This campaign will run FOREVER!!!!1" game plan. Run a three-session game with tight constraints. And then you can grow it if it's working.

Brookshw
2016-05-04, 03:26 PM
Do you need to turn to online groups? Is there a local game store alternative? I've found it's a very different experience when not actually sitting at the same table, investment is different, harder to figure out how players are doing.

Can't say what's right for you but personally I don't get the same enjoyment from online so avoid dming in that medium.

MrStabby
2016-05-04, 05:12 PM
My answer is very much Yes - but...

You had problems before, take a few moments to reflect on why (sounds like you have already).

You were ill - is is recurring illness, or one that may resurface like depression, anxiety etc.? If so, then still plan a campaign but maybe wait until you are sure you are stable enough to commit to it before going forwards. At some point you will be. As you form a dedicated group they will cut you more slack if illness becomes an issue, but it is tough upfront.

If your names caused mirth before - is that a style thing or a weakness? If you are world building put some thought into language so you can make some titles, syllables etc. consistent and avoid cliches like lots of Zs Xs and harsh syllables in anyone evil's name.

The group that caused you grief - give thought to how much of the grief was them, how much was you and how much was just a mismatch. If they were bad then its a sample size of 1 group - don't be too scared. If it was you then you have identified what you may need to change, so don't be scared. If it is a missmatch then (as mentioned) a session zero might help.

A note on getting players - try for new players. The pool of available players are those who are new, those who got kicked out of groups or those whose groups were not producing rewarding enough play to justify continuing. Yes, its a simplification and no, it isnt always the players fault but generally good players from good groups are in stable long term campaigns and not looking to join new games.

Regarding your gender/sexuality/faith identity - I can't comment completely as it isn't something I have experienced (so I hope you wont be too offended by what my views are). I would wonder if there is a question of confidence? I have never felt that a DMs sexuality has been any kind of an issue, faith has only been a background of note (one guy was a little uncomfortable with any polytheist religion being good aligned - but that was simply the campaign world and we rolled with it. I get that theses things are important to you, but for most players it wont be an issue - when playing online it isn't really any more interesting that what city you live in or your ethnicity. As the players become friends then yes, it matters because they care about you as an individual, not just as a DM. If you feel that it is reflected in your game world, hence players should know all upfront, then consider if it is a positive or a negative effect and why you are doing these things. If the change to the campaign world is an act of self expression, that's fine, but be self aware about it. If not, don't sweat it.

Don't let one bad experience put you off either. I could list loads of mistakes I have made - some pretty embarrassing. Stick a new post in the forum to invite tales of mistakes that posters have made as a DM and it will fill up pretty quickly. You had 10 years of doing well.

Finding a new group may be slow and hard - I suggest finding people is better. Run a few short adventures, pick the best players from each and invite them back for more. Solicit feedback - you ran a good game for one group but different players are different. Respond to what they say.

Finally have confidence. You really sound like you have been shaken up. The internet is hard for anyone, for someone who feels like a target it must be even harder.

I wish you all the best with this, I hope it goes well and hope in a few moths that you will post back some results on how it goes.

Knaight
2016-05-04, 05:49 PM
Go for it, but like Airk says start small. You can run the epic once you have an established group that you know and like.

Odessa333
2016-05-04, 07:19 PM
(deep breathe)

Ok, positive feedback AND suggestions. Thank you! I'm so nervous trying to get back into this.

As for the local/illness thing, I am sadly permanently disabled (I won the lottery on 'labels people hate'). I can't get around anymore, which is essentially what ended my local gaming days. The one room apartment I rent isn't big enough for gaming either, as much as I wish it was. Online gaming lets me play again, but I agree, it's not the same.

As for me being LGBT/etc, as I tell DM's whose game I join, I don't go planting a rainbow flag everywhere I go, but I don't hide it either. If someone starts gay bashing as a joke, I don't smile and wave, you know? I wouldn't say that stuff is common on roll20, but it's not exactly rare either.

Still, I think this has been helpful. I needed that reassurance that I'm not crazy trying to do this. I have a LOT of free time on my hands, and I can talk myself in and out of things too often if I let myself. I think that time would be better spent working on some campaign ideas...

RazorChain
2016-05-04, 07:32 PM
I started with a new group recently because I moved to another country. Most of us were complete strangers.

First we got together and got to know each other a bit and one of us ran a quick oneshot. Then we discussed what we wanted to play, our expectations to roleplay, what we liked and then we decided on who would be a Game master and what we were going to play.

I pitched a couple of ideas and being the most experienced Game master I was voted to run a campaign. As I can only play biweekly another GM was voted to run a game in the other week when I can't play.

Then we had a session zero where we got toghether and made characters and I introduced them to the world and the basics of the system we are playing. Before this session I had sent them lot of fluff and stuff via email and answered questions about the world and character building through both email and facebook.

Session 1 we finally started to play. At this point most of us knew what we were getting into though. Now 3 months later we have lost 2 players of the original group. One stopped showing up and quit because of RL complications and another was voted out of the group because he was an idiot. Instead we recruited 2 more and things are working out splendidly.

So I recomennd if you are starting a new group to meet somewhere, get to know each other and talk about likes and dislikes in gaming and expectations. As a GM you also have to pitch your ideas, if nobody wants to play what you want to run then you have a problem. So think about 2 or 3 things you want to run and let the players choose. I pitched a Cyberpunk game and Mythic Europe and the Mythic Europe one was chosen.

Good luck and avoid jerks and idiots...sadly there are plenty of them.

Honest Tiefling
2016-05-04, 07:36 PM
Maybe try recruiting new people from here? There's plenty of LGBT people or people who don't really care about such things. You can even get an idea of people's tastes and views from their posts. And I am fairly certain if you post a game with an in-depth setting you'll have people willing to murder each other for it. Maybe even a few loved ones if you can really sell your idea.

Knaight
2016-05-04, 09:41 PM
As for me being LGBT/etc, as I tell DM's whose game I join, I don't go planting a rainbow flag everywhere I go, but I don't hide it either. If someone starts gay bashing as a joke, I don't smile and wave, you know? I wouldn't say that stuff is common on roll20, but it's not exactly rare either.

Being able to boot these people without having to lose a bunch of work you did on a campaign is one of the reasons I recommend starting small.