How do you rein in a chaotic group?

[MonkeySage]

You're trying to run a game, you're all having a good time; of course, you may only be able to run the game once a week or less. You want to get some stuff accomplished that session, but the group has gotten onto a tangent. Two players have gotten into a debate about Magic the Gathering, two players are talking about league, and one player is still listening to you. The 4 who are not currently paying attention have now gotten so loud that you pretty much have to yell to be heard....
And this isn't just one session; it's almost every session. It's not that they aren't into the game, it's that they have other common interests. This happens to the one time a week that they can talk about that stuff in person.

You, the gm, are trying your best to keep things moving, but a session that should only take a few hours ends up taking several days. There is only so much you can do.

[Thrudd]

Yes, there's only so much you can do. Talk to everyone about it, if they want to play the RPG then they should be amenable to making an effort to cut down on the off-topic talk during the session. When it starts, get something that makes a loud sound, like wav file of a buzzer or a horn or something. Ask them if they are ok with you using the horn to get everyone's attention, if the talk gets out of hand. That way you don't need to yell at everyone.

[RickAllison]

A few options, some jokes and some not so.

1) Have the players designate what their PCs are doing when they get distracted. If the players' brains are on MtG, their PCs' brains are on Science: the Joining. Maybe the LoL player has a PC who can't help but think about strategies for dragon chess, even when he is in a real battle. This is kind of a joke, but could be effective.

2) Split the party when they break off on tangents. Let the others do something productive while the players without distractions get to have some solo time.

3) Speak your mind. When they get distracted, set an hourglass timer and call them to order when it is done.

[SethoMarkus]

If this is the only time your group can get together in person to play ttrpg and discuss other mutual interests, perhaps split the difference and make every othwr meetup strictly hanging out? Boardgames, M:tG, LAN games or split screen, etc. Then, make it a strict "no non-game talk during the ttrpg" for the other weeks you do play. This way everyone still gets to geek out together, but without it impeding game play.

[Garimeth]

If this is the only time your group can get together in person to play ttrpg and discuss other mutual interests, perhaps split the difference and make every othwr meetup strictly hanging out? Boardgames, M:tG, LAN games or split screen, etc. Then, make it a strict "no non-game talk during the ttrpg" for the other weeks you do play. This way everyone still gets to geek out together, but without it impeding game play.

This is good advice. Also you can just get there early and have some snacks and hang out, or go out to eat before/after. (I'm all about social food.) Build in breaks into the session, and then time them. This is a chance for everyone to smoke, use the bathroom, talk, or whatever.

[goto124]

Don't forget the pizza!

[Cernor]

Keep an electric cattle prod on hand.

[dps]

Cernor is stealing my schtick. And my cattle prod.

[Blitheslayer]

At some point, when the group chooses dedicated time to the game, you can hold them to it by making some game actions time sensitive. If they are in to the game at all then they care about their characters they created. If they start missing actions or critical information, causing those characters to fail, they will have a built in game reason to pay more attention. Kind of like playing a video game before everything had a pause button. I would also suggest upping your descriptions and details. The more narrative you are the more thought and attention they will put into following your descriptions. I usually write out scene descriptions with plenty of detail with occasional critical clues for them to try to recognize while the rest is just catering to their imaginations. Even hack-n-slash can be fun as everyone wants a good description for what that natural 20 did to that orc.

[Kami2awa]

1) Have the players designate what their PCs are doing when they get distracted. If the players' brains are on MtG, their PCs' brains are on Science: the Joining.

Science: the Collaboration, surely.

[RickAllison]

Science: the Collaboration, surely.

Can this be a thing? Please!!!

[trikkydik]

I know everyone has their own style for handling conflict, but in terms of D&D and DMing i have this one policy:

STFU and play. I run a very tight ship when it comes to D&D, NO MAGIC, NO VIDEO GAMES, NO DISCUSSION ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THE CAMPAIGN.

I told my players before the campaign began, that my time is too valuable to waste. I let a lot of things slide, but MTG is completely banned on D&D game night.

Be prepared to walk away from the game, i know its the worst thing to consider. But if you play your cards right, the universe will bend to your will.
3 possible outcomes if you try my method:

1.) the game will end, and you'll save yourself the stress of playing a game with people who aren't interested.
2.) the players will respect your wishes, and the campaign will become awesome.
3.) Certain players will stay, and the bad seeds will leave, leaving you with a smaller, but better campaign.

If option 1 comes around, try to start a new campaign with other people. (i know that's easier said than done.)

But treat this relationship as you would any relationship. Why be in a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate you?
(especially considering how much homework the DM has to complete for each session.)

I wish you the best of luck.

[Mr Beer]

I talk in a normal voice, you don't respond because you're too busy talking to someone else about something non-game related, you miss your turn. I run GURPS, so if you don't respond to an attack, you generally get hit because you didn't defend. I seldom have to do this because my players don't like dying.

Also no playing fkn side games, we can finish early and play cards but it takes too much effort to run a game to be ignored while doing it.

EDIT

Sounds like you have a social gathering going on. Maybe have an official pre-game get together that runs for a couple of hours, during which time you play MtG or something else together while you all BS about whatever and get it out of your system. Then get down to the game proper.

[RickAllison]

Also, don't be afraid to ask for help from your players. Let another player (especially one who isn't playing MtG) keep everyone focused so the DM can keep attention on the world rather than the table. Plus, delegating the table-enforcer aspect to a player allows the DM to focus on what the game is really about: having fun. This strategy has worked for my DM. He gets to think about how the world reacts while the players who aren't so easily distracted keep the rest on task.

[Pugwampy]

Make a sudden statement that shocks em all .


DM : OMG !! So and so a thief just stole your magic goodie .
Player : Da feq did you say bruh ?
DM: You just became a crime statistic
PLayer : Eeep how did did this happen to me ?
DM : You tell me but i am going to assume you dunno since you were discussing porn downloads .

[Zman]

The easiest thing is simply assert yourself, this problem is most comment when the person who is tasked with keeping others on task fails to assert themselves. If there is not another dominant personality that takes over the role things often degrade, even worse when the dominant personality in the geoup is tangential.

My group can get off topic, and I let it go for a couple minutes max before I shift attention back to the game. You have to reign them in, or lose them. Too tight of control can be detrimental as well.

Another possibility is the game is not engaging enough, this can be a DM failure. Ideally, if you get off topic you'll have your players demanding "What happened, I must know!"

Basically it boils down to the DM failing to be assertive, a particular problematic player, or poor DMing and a less than engaging game.

Alternatively you can make lack of attention detrimental in game.

Ok, a mod of children are passingly you in the market. Insight roll? The one person that was paying attention makes the roll, make it very easy to pass. They see the danger and hold their items right, the others have items or gold pillaged. Ohh, that new magical dagger you just found, it's gone. Guess your character should have been paying attention... If they gripe say well you choose not to roll and got an automatic failure for being distracted.

Now, that's kind of petty and I wouldn't do it, but the threat of doing it can be effective.

[Garimeth]

I know everyone has their own style for handling conflict, but in terms of D&D and DMing i have this one policy:

STFU and play. I run a very tight ship when it comes to D&D, NO MAGIC, NO VIDEO GAMES, NO DISCUSSION ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THE CAMPAIGN.

I told my players before the campaign began, that my time is too valuable to waste. I let a lot of things slide, but MTG is completely banned on D&D game night.

Be prepared to walk away from the game, i know its the worst thing to consider. But if you play your cards right, the universe will bend to your will.
3 possible outcomes if you try my method:

1.) the game will end, and you'll save yourself the stress of playing a game with people who aren't interested.
2.) the players will respect your wishes, and the campaign will become awesome.
3.) Certain players will stay, and the bad seeds will leave, leaving you with a smaller, but better campaign.

If option 1 comes around, try to start a new campaign with other people. (i know that's easier said than done.)

But treat this relationship as you would any relationship. Why be in a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate you?
(especially considering how much homework the DM has to complete for each session.)

I wish you the best of luck.

He didn't do this at the start of the game though, so the expectation was not initially set. Compound that with these are friends outside the game, not some group of randos. I agree that a hard line and clear expectations up front would have been best, but to just jump from nothing to this is going to wound some pride and possibly damage friendships.

OP:
I still think the best thing you can do is move back your start time, or a lot a half hour or so at the beginning for that stuff, and build in smoke breaks. Then if the disruptions continue, you go do what the above quoted poster said, making sure to mention that you have already set time aside for that stuff.

[Jay R]

Wandering monsters. When the group gets completely off track, they are attacked. Nothing focuses your attention like rolling for initiative.

[RickAllison]

Wandering monsters. When the group gets completely off track, they are attacked. Nothing focuses your attention like rolling for initiative.

Even better, ask your disruptors to turn over their decks/turn the computer towards you. How does the party suddenly like being attacked by whatever the top 5 monsters in the players' decks are? Planeswalkers help them if you draw a Platinum Angel...

"You see a silvery streak above your head..."
"I finish off the BBEG's lieutenant!"
"Your blade bounces off the lieutenant's neck."
"Tolfdir casts Imprisonment!"
"Tolfdir's spell mysteriously fails. Something seems to be interfering with your victory..."

Now that I think about it, I want to make some MtG stat blocks... TO THE HOMEBREW SUBFORUM!!!