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View Full Version : Gamer Humor Write a bad romance! Trashy literature in fantasy settings



The Fury
2016-08-12, 05:33 PM
In fantasy RPGs, worldbuilding has always been interesting to me. In life in general people's relationship with media has been fascinating for me as well. It seems to me that in a setting where literacy is common, it's more likely that trashy novels might exist. I even had an NPC reading one when the PCs unexpectedly contacted her. Unfortunately, my familiarity with awful romance books begins and ends with casually glancing at the cover art while in the bookstore. So this is when I admit my own ignorance and try to pick the brains of folks much more clever than me.

If you were a writer of trashy books in a typical D&D/Fantasy setting what would your book be titled? What would it be about? It doesn't necessarily have to be a romance, that just happens to be where my brain is right now.

NecroDancer
2016-08-12, 06:08 PM
"Blood isn't the only thing Strahd sucks"

-a Barovian love story

Honest Tiefling
2016-08-12, 07:05 PM
'Romiel and Julithara', a story of love-struck elven and orc teenagers.

MrStabby
2016-08-12, 07:18 PM
Fifty thousand shades of grey - love in shadowfell?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - An underdark romance?
Gordon the Barbarian - the conquests of one man and his polarm?
The legend of Marribar - slightly niche publication about a ranger and his animal companion?

Lord Raziere
2016-08-12, 07:27 PM
If you were a writer of trashy books in a typical D&D/Fantasy setting what would your book be titled? What would it be about? It doesn't necessarily have to be a romance, that just happens to be where my brain is right now.

They would be titled:

The trashy love stuff:
-Lesbian Orc Warriors
-The Succubus Spy From Heaven
-The Tiefling and the Aasimar
-Loveforged

Other:
-The Genasi Crew (mercenaries who are genasi try to get by through adventuring)
-Sorcerer's Guild (the story of a fun-loving yet dysfunctional Sorcerer's Guild who have to contend with a snooty uptight Wizard's Guild in their quest to be recognized and respected, with allies in the Bards, Bloodragers and Favored Souls Guilds)
-Dashing Halfling Pirate (a high-seas story of a halfling swashbuckler and his adventures, his fights, and his loves. All the women he seduces are taller than him.)
-Oddball Dwarves (a book about a group of dwarf outcasts, none of whom fit the usual dwarven mold as they try to deal with not fitting in anywhere)
-Fake Elven Princess (The story of an elf waitress who runs away from elven lands and lies to the humans she encounters that she is an elven princess. Hilarity ensues and spirals out of control from there)
-The Foolish Wizard (a farce about a wizard who is incredibly book smart but is so bad at observing and properly diagnosing a problem that he casts all the wrong spells while thinking he solved them, only making things worse as it goes on)
-My Roommate Is A Lich (A comedy based around a normal guy and a lich sharing the same room in an adventuring guild.)

Lorsa
2016-08-13, 03:18 AM
The Three-faced Sorcerer

Living alone in a harsh part of the land, Eliera takes in a mysterious stranger who appears hurt and tends to his wounds. Enchanted by his gentle soul, they spend the night in passion. A week later while traveling, Eliera is saved from a goblin attack by a brave sorcerer. Impressed by his courage and magic, she falls into his arms. Yet another week later at the local town, Eliera finds herself falling in love with a handsome and charming nobleman who flirts with her at the tavern. Three weeks, three different men who each stole her heart in a different way. How will she choose between them?

Tiran, the son of the local baron, found his sorcerous powers at an early age. Due to his over-protective father, he often heads out into the land under magically altered appearance, to help the villages against the vile orc and goblin raids. He did not expect his travels to lead him to love, but he finds the intelligent and compassionate Eliera to be irresistible. He is tormented by a question though; which one of him does she like the most? How can he explain his three guises without the risk of loosing her?

Gentle Rogue

Heartsick and desperate to return home to [Insert country name here], Eogina Anersdaughter boards the Maiden Anne disguised as a cabin boy, never dreaming she'll be forced into intimate servitude at the whim of the ship's irrepressible captain, James Maolly.

The black sheep of a proud and tempestuous family, the handsome ex-pirate once swore no woman alive could entice him into matrimony. But on the high seas his resolve will be weakened by an unrestrained passion and by the high-spirited beauty whose love of freedom and adventure rivals his own.

------

The first one I tried to write myself, but the second one is actually a REAL book (with names slightly altered) by Johanna Lindsey. So it's quite easy to find romantic novels to fit into a fantasy setting by googling for real ones. :smallsmile:

Lorsa
2016-08-13, 03:25 AM
Other books from the quick google search whose premise fits exactly into a fantasy setting if you remove the country names:

Tender Rebel
A Loving Scoundrel

Alcibiades
2016-08-13, 04:13 AM
Revently read P.G. Wodehouse who has a fictional pulp writer featured in his 'Jeeves' stories. Some adaptations:

A Heart Twice Petrified
The Witch Who Braved All
Only a Slum Girl
A Kiss in the Feywild
'Twas Once in May
The Courthship of Lord Galofax
A Red, Red Dragon's Rose
By Oath Bound
Valet to a Mage

BWR
2016-08-13, 04:15 AM
In a mostly-L5R game we play, a young princess PC writes BL fanfics about lots of people at court, most of them about her older brother and his mysterious best friend.
The kicker is the best friend is actually a girl who dresses and pretends to be a guy (unknown to virtually everyone) and they actually did have a fling (which was kind of awkward for both and never spoken of again).

And on the subject of trashy fantasy romance: A Tale of Two Rulers (http://figmentforms.tumblr.com/post/139806271367/a-tale-of-two-rulers-archive-post)


The Right of Kings
It is the right of the lord to have the first night with any woman in the realm. The young and handsome king Roderick's eyes fall on the lovely Ashara. She is wed to the old and hideous Brian, and Roderick is in a loveless political marriage to the daughter of a neighboring king. Sparks fly and forbidden romance blooms as the two young people find solace in each other's arms.

Alcibiades
2016-08-13, 04:29 AM
I absolutely love this idea and I've decided to incorporate this into my new campaign: Have the PCs occasionally stumble upon these kind of books, sometimes in the most unlikely places: the hut of a burly barbarian, the library of an Archmage,...
A lot of them written by the same author. Then at some point have them discover he/she's someone they'd never expect writing under a pseudonym - a major antagonist or a distinguished aristocrat.

Belac93
2016-08-13, 12:18 PM
Totally stolen from Skyrim, but there is a book in that game called: The Lusty Argonian Maid. For those of you who don't know, argonians are lizard people.

The Dwarf and the Pillar

Kami2awa
2016-08-13, 02:26 PM
In a recent adventurer, we stumbled across the ghost of a young woman who was part of a cult obsessed with a particular lich. We suggested she write a novel based on her creepy obsessive relationship with an undead being...

Madbox
2016-08-13, 07:29 PM
There's more trashy literature than romance novels! How about some crappy thriller and crime novel titles?

The Mephit Protocol
Gorgons and Gangsters
The Underdark Uprising
I Married a Priest of Demogorgon

Âmesang
2016-08-13, 11:02 PM
As a WORLD OF GREYHAWK® fan my first thought fell to Wee Jas and her on-again/off-again lover, Norebo.

My second thought went towards creating an NPC based on John T. Bone, director of such films as… (insert endless stream of porn titles here)