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Orion Hamby
2016-09-21, 07:00 PM
Hello all I made this and I would like criticism

THE GREY ALIEN
The Grey Aliens are a race of people whom have lived for thousands of years and are slowly starting to understand the “new races” that appeared so recently.
Physical Description: Greys stand between 4’ 5” and 6’. They have hairless bodies with a pale grey or green-grey flesh tones. They weigh between 90lbs. and 130lbs. Most Greys are very lanky. All Greys have large black eyes.
Society: Greys are in a state of constant discomfort, causing the majority of Greys to go into science in order to find a way to relieve themselves
Relations: Greys do not really understand other races, and most other races don’t understand Greys either. This leads to the majority of Greys just keeping their distance, rather than being openly hostile.
Alignment and Religion: Greys tend towards lawful neutral, though there are plenty of good and evil Greys as well, there is no stigma for being non-lawful but chaotic Greys are rare none the less.

GREY RACIAL TRAITS
+2 int, +2 dex: Greys have a thirst for knowledge and are generally quite graceful.
Medium.
Normal Speed.
Darkvision 60ft.
Alien Biology: Greys don’t “sleep” like other races making them immune to magical and mundane ways of putting them to sleep.
Defensive Training: Greys get a constant +2 dodge bonus to their AC.
Moon Touched: Greys have DR 5/Starstone.
Superior Intellect: Greys add their int mod to their AC instead of their dex mod.
Languages: Greys begin play speaking Common and Reticuli. Greys with high intelligence scores can choose from the following: Dwarvern, Elven, Gnome, Orc, Undercommon, Draconic, and Giant. The Grey language is made with mental waves, it can be understood but not spoken by other races. The written form can be written and read by other races.

Age
Adulthood
Middle Age
Old Age
Venerable
Max

200 Years Old
350 Years Old
520 Years Old
700 Years Old
+8d% Years

Kaje
2016-09-21, 07:39 PM
Humanoid or Aberration? Level adjustment?

Âmesang
2016-09-21, 08:02 PM
This makes me regret not saving the racial stats I wrote up for the Irkens from Invader Zim. :smalltongue:

Orion Hamby
2016-09-21, 08:09 PM
Humanoid or Aberration? Level adjustment?

Humanoid. No LA

J-H
2016-09-21, 08:48 PM
So they're basically Space Elves with a few bonuses that put them at LA+1?

Orion Hamby
2016-09-21, 08:49 PM
So they're basically Space Elves with a few bonuses that put them at LA+1?

You know I didn't even realize how similar they are to elves...huh

Libro
2016-09-21, 08:54 PM
I'll give some input.
Commentary in bold. (I will assume the system in question is 3.0/3.5)

Hello all I made this and I would like criticism

THE GREY ALIEN
The Grey Aliens are a race of people whom have lived for thousands of years and are slowly starting to understand the “new races” that appeared so recently.
Physical Description: Greys stand between 4’ 5” and 6’. They have hairless bodies with a pale grey or green-grey flesh tones. They weigh between 90lbs. and 130lbs. Most Greys are very lanky. All Greys have large black eyes.
Society: Greys are in a state of constant discomfort, causing the majority of Greys to go into science in order to find a way to relieve themselves
Relations: Greys do not really understand other races, and most other races don’t understand Greys either. This leads to the majority of Greys just keeping their distance, rather than being openly hostile.
Alignment and Religion: Greys tend towards lawful neutral, though there are plenty of good and evil Greys as well, there is no stigma for being non-lawful but chaotic Greys are rare none the less.

Description is always useful when creating something, as it gives a basis for the work

GREY RACIAL TRAITS
Couple of things stand out that push this out of LA+0
+2 int, +2 dex: Greys have a thirst for knowledge and are generally quite graceful.
Ability score bonuses at +0 LA usually have a penalty or penalties associated to help balance things out.
Medium.
Normal Speed.
(Insert creature type here)
Should note 30ft base land speed, if that is the value, as there is no "normal speed"
Darkvision 60ft.
Alien Biology: Greys don’t “sleep” like other races making them immune to magical and mundane ways of putting them to sleep.
So, do they trance like an elf? Also, make a note that spell casters would still require 8 hours of rest to regain spells.
Defensive Training: Greys get a constant +2 dodge bonus to their AC.
Moon Touched: Greys have DR 5/Starstone.
Superior Intellect: Greys add their int mod to their AC instead of their dex mod.
These abilities are too potent for no LA.
A)Dodge bonuses stack. You're giving people +2 AC for just being a member of this race. Dwarves get +4, and only against giants. Reducing by 2 does balance it enough to have it apply against everybody.
B)DR alone can be worth +1 LA for DR/magic when combined with what you already have, and if this is a rare material, then it is worth the LA.
-If you want to show that they are especially weak against this material, have them take extra damage from it, +1 or +2 per hit.
C)Superior Intellect's name doesn't mesh well with what it does. Also, anyone with a focus on intelligence will want to play one of these.
Languages: Greys begin play speaking Common and Reticuli. Greys with high intelligence scores can choose from the following: Dwarvern, Elven, Gnome, Orc, Undercommon, Draconic, and Giant. The Grey language is made with mental waves, it can be understood but not spoken by other races. The written form can be written and read by other races.
Favored Class?

Age
Adulthood
Middle Age
Old Age
Venerable
Max

200 Years Old
350 Years Old
520 Years Old
700 Years Old
+8d% Years

Would have responded before the space elves comment came up, (and I agree), but I'm a slow typer:smallredface:

If you'd like, I can give you a hand with mechanics matching your concept.

Also, for future reference, creations are best posted in the Homebrew Design (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?15-Homebrew-Design) forum. You'll get more critique there than here.

InvisibleBison
2016-09-21, 08:56 PM
Humanoid. No LA

I think this race is too strong for no level adjustment. Compare them to gray elves, the most similar LA 0 race I can think of off the top of my head. Both Grey aliens and gray elves get +2 Int and Dex, but the elves are suffering from -2 to Strength and Constitution, while the aliens have no ability penalties. Moreover, the racial Int-to-AC is a huge advantage. Look at a 1st level wizard, with no active buff spells. An elf is going to have an AC of 12 or 13; a grey alien is going to have an ac of 17, as well as 5 points of DR and more HP. The alien is definitely stronger than the elf, and I'd say it's enough stronger to justify a +1 LA.

Orion Hamby
2016-09-21, 08:58 PM
I'll give some input.
Commentary in bold. (I will assume the system in question is 3.0/3.5)


Would have responded before the space elves comment came up, (and I agree), but I'm a slow typer:smallredface:

If you'd like, I can give you a hand with mechanics matching your concept.

Also, for future reference, creations are best posted in the Homebrew Design (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?15-Homebrew-Design) forum. You'll get more critique there than here.

Pathfinder actually. But thanks for the input. And I would appreciate help if you're offering

Libro
2016-09-21, 09:07 PM
Pathfinder isn't my forte, but it's close enough to 3.0/3.5 that I should be able to help.


What sort of role is this race meant to fill? I am inclined to guess an Intelligence-based spell caster, psionic manifester, or something along those lines.

Orion Hamby
2016-09-21, 09:37 PM
Pathfinder isn't my forte, but it's close enough to 3.0/3.5 that I should be able to help.


What sort of role is this race meant to fill? I am inclined to guess an Intelligence-based spell caster, psionic manifester, or something along those lines.

Yeah essentially

Libro
2016-09-21, 09:41 PM
I'll monkey around with a few ideas in my head and see what comes forth in the morning.

Any additional descriptive text? It could help with abilities to give them.

Orion Hamby
2016-09-21, 09:45 PM
I'll monkey around with a few ideas in my head and see what comes forth in the morning.

Any additional descriptive text? It could help with abilities to give them.

Ehh not really, to be honest I statted this up because I was bored and the description was just cuz I wanted it to be cool, oh I have a racial archetype for the gunslinger if you'd like to see it

Libro
2016-09-21, 09:51 PM
Ehh not really, to be honest I statted this up because I was bored and the description was just cuz I wanted it to be cool, oh I have a racial archetype for the gunslinger if you'd like to see it
To be honest, I probably wouldn't be able to help with that part. I've barely skimmed the surface of Pathfinder, and wouldn't know what to say.

A thread in Homebrew Design would probably help more, with a link back to this thread if it references the race.

Orion Hamby
2016-09-21, 09:52 PM
To be honest, I probably wouldn't be able to help with that part. I've barely skimmed the surface of Pathfinder, and wouldn't know what to say.

A thread in Homebrew Design would probably help more, with a link back to this thread if it references the race.

Fair enough, thanks anyway

Libro
2016-09-22, 10:11 PM
Proposed traits are in the quote:


GREY RACIAL TRAITS
+2 Dex., -2 Con., +2 Int, -2 Cha.: Greys are graceful and possess a keen intellect, but are not particularly hardy nor able to interact with other creatures well.
Medium Size.
Humanoid type.
30ft. Base land speed.
Darkvision 60ft.
Alien Biology: Greys don’t “sleep” like other races making them immune to magical and mundane ways of putting them to sleep. They must still rest for 8 hours to prepare/regain spells.
Moon Touched: Greys are immune to Lycanthropy, and gain a +1 racial bonus to all d20 rolls in [natural] moonlight.
Superior Intellect: Greys gain a +1 bonus on all knowledge checks, and opposed intelligence checks.
Languages: Greys begin play speaking Common and Reticuli. Greys with high intelligence scores can choose from the following: Dwarvern, Elven, Gnome, Orc, Undercommon, Draconic, and Giant.

Reticuli is the native language of the Grey. It is generated through an extremely weak form of telepathy, and may only be "spoken" by the Grey.
It can be understood by other races, and its written forms can be penned and read by other races as well.


How does this look?

Orion Hamby
2016-09-23, 07:59 PM
Proposed traits are in the quote:



How does this look?
I like it, thanks a million

Orion Hamby
2016-09-23, 10:07 PM
I also posted in the paizo boards and I received this

+2 Dex, -2 str, +2 Int: Greys are graceful and possess a keen intellect, but are not particularly strong.
Medium Size.
Humanoid(Grey) Type.
30ft. Base land speed.
Darkvision 60ft.
Alien Biology: Greys don’t require sleep like other races and are immune to sleep effects.
Moon Touched: Greys have DR1/silver
Superior Intellect: once per day, Greys may reroll knowledge checks before they gain the benefit of the roll. they must use the 2nd roll even if it is worse.
Languages: Greys begin play speaking Common and Reticuli. Greys with high intelligence scores can choose from the following: Dwarvern, Elven, Gnome, Orc, Undercommon, Draconic, and Giant.

Libro
2016-09-24, 11:58 AM
I think any of the proposed racial stats should work at LA +0. At this point, it's just a matter of personal preference as to which one you would prefer to use.


GREY RACIAL TRAITS
+2 Dex., -2 Con., +2 Int, -2 Cha.: Greys are graceful and possess a keen intellect, but are not particularly hardy nor able to interact with other creatures well.
Medium Size.
Humanoid type.
30ft. Base land speed.
Darkvision 60ft.
Alien Biology: Greys don’t “sleep” like other races making them immune to magical and mundane ways of putting them to sleep. They must still rest for 8 hours to prepare/regain spells.
Moon Touched: Greys are immune to Lycanthropy, and gain a +1 racial bonus to all d20 rolls in [natural] moonlight.
Superior Intellect: Greys may roll twice for knowledge checks and take the better result a number of times per day equal to their intelligence modifier.
Languages: Greys begin play speaking Common and Reticuli. Greys with high intelligence scores can choose from the following: Dwarvern, Elven, Gnome, Orc, Undercommon, Draconic, and Giant.

Reticuli is the native language of the Grey. It is generated through an extremely weak form of telepathy, and may only be "spoken" by the Grey.
It can be understood by other races, and its written forms can be penned and read by other races as well.