Creative Cursing

[TheManicMonocle]

So I was wondering if you guys would share any creative ways characters curse in D&D. Like, I know Erevis Cale is fond of saying "Dark and empty!" When something bad happens, or Dahl from brimstone angels says "Ohgma's bloody papercuts!" Or "Watching Gods!" And I think the varied curses of faerune are interesting, so care to share?

[Koo Rehtorb]

I feel like most other cultural cursing immediately loses all emotional impact and just sounds silly. The way to get around that is to take something that already sounds offensive in real life, and give it a D&D twist.

"Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".

[Stealth Marmot]

"Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".

I think I might sig this. Mind if I do so?

[Koo Rehtorb]

I think I might sig this. Mind if I do so?

Feel free. :smallsmile:

[Jay R]

I compiled a list of alliterative oaths for a bard many years ago.

By ...

... Aladdin’s luminous lamp
... Aragorn’s arrogant armpits
... Arthur’s argent armor
... Balin’s burial box
... Belkar’s brazen boxers
... Belle’s belligerent beast
... Beowulf’s brown breeches
... Bilbo’s busted buttons
... Boadicea’s bodacious bodice
... Boromir’s bloody boxers
... Buttercup’s boned breastcups
... Cinderella’s spare slipper
... Conan’s copper codpiece
... Cyrano’s sorry surcoat
... Dorothy’s dropping domicile
... Dumbledore’s dappled drawers
... Durkon’s dirty digit
... Elric’s elegant elbows
... Eowyn’s excess of earwax
... Fezzik’s festering flower
... Flitwick’s floating feather
... Frodo’s fractured finger
... Galahad’s garish greaves
... Gimli’s grimy girdle
... Hagrid’s howling hounddog
... Haley’s happy hairstyle
... Hamlet’s happy homelife
... Hercules’ hairy helmet
... Horus’s horrible horcrux
... Inigo’s nasty kneecop
... Kimble’s constant quest
... Lancelot’s lurid leers
... the lush lurid alliteration of Lee
... McGonnagle’s magical madrigal
... Merlin’s maroon mittens
... Daenerys’s Naughty Knickers
... Oberon’s ochre overalls
... Peter’s precious panpipes
... Pinocchio’s pinewood p___
... Poppins’s purple pantaloons
... Rincewind’s rum-soaked robes
... Richelieu’s rancid rantings
... Saladin’s soiled smock
... Santa’s silver snowflake
... Screwtape’s scarlet skivvies
... Shelob’s short chemise
... Siegfried’s screeching solo
... Sinbad’s sinful snifter
... Smaug’s smoking smallclothes
... Snape’s snarls and snivels
... Snorri’s sordid saga
... Thorin’s thrilling thong
... Zorro’s zestful zither

[TheManicMonocle]

I love it thank you, any help with coming up for a good curse for my paladin of ilmater?

[Anderlith]

For Ilmater
Blight used like the f word. Blight this, blight that, blight you, blight this blighting blighter!!!
Suffer this!
Red ties

Warfaring cultures might swear using Peace
Falling Stars!
Draught & famine! For cultures reliant on water
Dragon teeth!
Doglegged craven
Dumber than ugly & twice as stupid
Thrice cursed, illfaced, wreched, crosseyed bandyman
Seller of high priced fruit
Pigbrowed, deplorable, filthlicking, horseswindling crow eared, odorous, vagrant, gnash toothed, sidejawed, fool theft of good temper & quiet company
Elves or druids might swear by Ash & Oak


Some from Jim Butcher
Stars & Stones
Hell's Bells
Empty Night

Brandon Sanderson has excellent curses derived by worldbuilding. Which is the best way to do it.

[TheManicMonocle]

Oooo good ones all (it's funny you mention jim butcher, I just finished dresden files)

[Bohandas]

just the name of any deity, or the name of their symbol, or of an object used in worship

Those trying not to blaspheme might substitute a similar sounding word or phrase (ie. "by george" instead of "by jove", "sacre bleu" instead of "sacre dieu" or "sacrement", etc. in the real world.) (In game perhaps "armadillo" for "olidammara", "veluna" for ehlonna and/or vecna, "trash dump" for "tharizdun", "solar" for "pelor", "caroline" for "corellon",

References to the lower planes are also a good place to start, particularly if they evoke a strong mental image (ie. "hell's bells", "bloody hell", etc. in the real world) (in game, perhaps "gray wasting", "infernal engine", "hellfire", "charon's changepurse", "chemada's forges", "hell's hosts", "dark eight", "prince of demons", "wasted towers", "corpse strewn pesh", "abyssal abominations, etc. Plus both real world examples)

[iceman10058]

as bad as a blasted gnome is a favorite of mine

[The Vanishing Hitchhiker]

I feel like most other cultural cursing immediately loses all emotional impact and just sounds silly. The way to get around that is to take something that already sounds offensive in real life, and give it a D&D twist.

"Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".

Other fun variations: "Ludicrously Specific Body Part", "Biologically Implausible Body Part", or both. Tiamat's third teat!

[Cernor]

You could always call people "VACUOUS, TOFFEE-NOSED, MALODOROUS PERVERTS!" Screaming it at the top of your lungs is not optional.

[Stealth Marmot]

You could always call people "VACUOUS, TOFFEE-NOSED, MALODOROUS PERVERTS!" Screaming it at the top of your lungs is not optional.

Hey I came to this thread for an argument!

[Telok]

Well I heard a curse on someone else recently: "May you have an injury that is not covered by workman's comp."

[JeenLeen]

One thread a while ago talked about a setting where the gods were malevolent beings (or at least perceived as such), so common oaths and curses involved things like asking for their blessing or attention to come upon one's foes.

[Red Fel]

Hey I came to this thread for an argument!

Oh, I'm sorry, this is abuse.

Anyway, my usual methods are the alliterative/rhyming deity + object combination ("Sweet bacon of Boccob!" "Sweet fjords of Kord!" etc.), or word substitution.

Here's one of my favorite word-substitution strings:

Vegeta: Son of a gum-chewing funk monster! Why the fruit does all this funny stuff happen to me? Forget my life! Always surrounded by miserable failing clods, like this whole world decides to bend me over and find me in the Alps, like I'm some sort of schlock receptacle! Well, as far as I care, these miserable cows can have a fancy barbecue WITH A GODDAMN PIG!
Both methods do require a quicker mind. The thing I like about the former method is that you can make it situationally appropriate. For example, say your party is in some kind of ancient temple, and discovers the central chamber - "Sweet altars of Abaddon!" Say you're walking into the castle treasury - "Sweet topaz of Tiamat!" You can make it fit the context.

[Stealth Marmot]

You could always look at some quotes from Sam from Sam & Max. Dude had many expletives that weren't expletives.

[Jay R]

Other fun variations: "Ludicrously Specific Body Part", "Biologically Implausible Body Part", or both. Tiamat's third teat!

In my next game, my character will swear by shouting, "Ludicrously Specific Body Part!"

[2D8HP]

The quote below has inspired my IC cussing:


why for the love of Lolth's blue panties did you bother bringing a nine year old kid to a gang fight?! Your babysitting privileges are hereby revoked! :smallannoyed:

[Bohandas]

Oh, I'm sorry, this is abuse.

Anyway, my usual methods are the alliterative/rhyming deity + object combination ("Sweet bacon of Boccob!" "Sweet fjords of Kord!" etc.), or word substitution.

Both methods do require a quicker mind. The thing I like about the former method is that you can make it situationally appropriate. For example, say your party is in some kind of ancient temple, and discovers the central chamber - "Sweet altars of Abaddon!" Say you're walking into the castle treasury - "Sweet topaz of Tiamat!" You can make it fit the context.

So like a combination of Robin and Hermes Conrad?

[danielxcutter]

The quote below has inspired my IC cussing:

You won an internet. Yes, you did.

Here's my two cents;

By...

Mordenkainen's graying beard

Bigby's saggy left glove

[insert high-level NPC name]'s [whatever]

[Stealth Marmot]

You won an internet. Yes, you did.

Here's my two cents;

By...

Mordenkainen's graying beard

Bigby's saggy left glove

[insert high-level NPC name]'s [whatever]

By Elminster's ever-wandering genitals!

[Red Fel]

So like a combination of Robin and Hermes Conrad?

More like a combination of Hermes Conrad and a generic D&D character. Who is played by Hermes Conrad.

[DigoDragon]

Here's one of my favorite word-substitution strings:

Classic. :D



You could always look at some quotes from Sam from Sam & Max. Dude had many expletives that weren't expletives.

I've done some weird swearing based on the old Sam & Max Hit the Road computer game:

Sam: "Percent sign, ampersand, dollar sign."
Max: "And colon, semicolon too!"
Psychic: "What are you [bleep]ing doing?"
Sam: "Swearing in longhand, asterisk-mouth."



The quote below has inspired my IC cussing:

XD

After we were visited by the third god due to invoking their name too many times, the party forbids me to use that phrase anymore because they don't want her showing up as number four.

[dps]

Bellow random words/phrases in Finnish (or any other language members of your gaming group don't speak).

[Bohandas]

just the name of any deity, or the name of their symbol, or of an object used in worship

Those trying not to blaspheme might substitute a similar sounding word or phrase (ie. "by george" instead of "by jove", "sacre bleu" instead of "sacre dieu" or "sacrement", etc. in the real world.) (In game perhaps "armadillo" for "olidammara", "veluna" for ehlonna and/or vecna, "trash dump" for "tharizdun", "solar" for "pelor", "caroline" for "corellon",

"watch fob" "corncob" or "mee krob" for "Boccob", "clavichord" for "Kord", "squirrel" for "Nerull", "cupboard" for "Cuthbert", "rescind" for "Ye'Cind", "wow" for "Rao" (possibly the expression's in-setting etymology), "teacup" or "placemat" for "Tiamat", "abattoir" for "Abbathor", "ouija" for "Wee Jas", "vegetation" "vicodin" or "percodan" for "Vergadain", "umlat" for "Ulaa", "mordant" or "mordent" for 'Moradin", "automat" or "fungo bat" for "Kurtlmak", "luck" "lol" or "cloth" for "Lolth",

and that's without getting into gog/jebus/crikey type minced oaths with no other meaning

[Jay R]

"Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Offensive Body Part".

I recommend a change to

"Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Name of Offensive Body Part".

The original version is subject to ... unfortunate misinterpretation.

[iceman10058]

There is a book series called Widdershins Adventures where the main character curses by saying things like hopping hens or figs instead of using real curse words. Also a good read i recomend it.

[Stealth Marmot]

I recommend a change to

"Insert God Name"'s + "Insert Name of Offensive Body Part".

The original version is subject to ... unfortunate misinterpretation.
Well...to be fair...it is creative in its own way...