New Group - All Strangers!

[Ser Loras]

Hello, all!

So, through the miracle of social media I've met a few people in my city who, like me, were in search of a new group to play with and so we are meeting Friday for a "Session Zero" to get to know each other and talk about character ideas before, hopefully, getting started in a weekly game in a week or so.

This'll be the first time I've done anything like this before - i.e. meet up with random folks online to play (I haven't even played on Roll 20 with strangers) - and I'm wondering, are there any dos and don'ts, any etiquette to observe or anything like that when starting a game with strangers? I've historically played with friends who I can bash ideas around and discuss things in earnest before, during and after sessions, so this'll be a whole new dynamic that i'm not used to and, would appreciate any pointers and tips you all could kick my way :)

Not that this has anything to do with my question, but, it appears from what the DM's said we'll be playing the Starter Kit adventure with full customisation options for characters. I am, in spite of the existential dread inherent in, you know, talking to other human beings, extremely excited to get started :D

[Kane0]

Basic common courtesy pretty much. Have your stuff prepared, pay attention, don't cut in on others, resolves disputes out of session, etc.

Have a couple of character ideas ready to go and be flexible if you can, it helps to be a team player rather than incessantly push for a certain character or playstyle you want.

And have fun!

[furby076]

Shower before game and make sure your clothes are clean. Dont eat foul smelling things. Dont talk politics or sex until you are all friends. Refrain from cursing, being offensive or aggressive.

Be reasonable about game rules, needs and wants.

Show up on time.

If you are all rotating game house, offer yours, unless you have a good reason (your dog bites, your mom doesn't like your weird demon worshipping friends, parking is touht to find, etc)

Essentially, be a good person

[Sigreid]

Save your super edgy, secretive character idea for when you are all comfortable playing with each other.

Don't go in hoping to play something too far from the norm. Don't make a DM you all haven't worked with before try to figure out how to fit your drow in with a party of lawful good dwarven and elven paladins, for example.

[Falcon X]

Be prepared for people to have their own house rules in their mind. Hopefully everyone can agree to abide by the DMs ruling for consistency.

[Safety Sword]

The most important thing to work out is whether the DMs game is something like the one you want to play in.

Ask questions about the game world, DMs love that :smallsmile:

[CaptainSarathai]

You guys already know that you'll be playing the intro campaign, so that's cool.
I joined into a group like this a while back, and there was... drama. Turns out, everyone except myself was new or returning after a decades-long stint away from the game (so, practically new). This included the DM. I was under the impression that we were going to run the intro, and then discuss our next course of action - either him handing over DMing, disbanding, or coming up with a new game or continuation. We found out later that he was already planning a new game, but it was a setting that none of us were interested in or particularly liked, and it fell entirely flat. Group would have shattered, but I grabbed the best folk and set a different meet-up night. Not sure how many, if any, are still attending his sessions.

So I would definitely say that you need to have a talk with the DM at some point, and work out what the plan is after LMoP. Get everyone on the same page - will they be able to keep their LMoP characters? What is the next game going to be like? How much does gaming experience does everyone have, and what are they looking for in D&D?

Also, beware the reluctant gamer. I find that with strangers, especially those who are new to the game, that there is usually one reluctant player in the group. They want to play D&D or thought that they did, but then they meet the group or experience the reality of the game, and suddenly they don't want to anymore. The problem is that we're all socially-stunted nerds, so we avoid conflict and just quietly nod and "go along with it" in hopes that we can sneak out unnoticed. Personally, that's not me - I'm up front and honest, but I've seen others do it. They're too polite, or too shy, or otherwise don't want to ruffle feathers and say,
"No, I don't like this setting, or game, or these weird people and their strangely shaped dice"
or
"No, I'm not okay meeting here each week - it smells like cat pee"
or
"Yeah, it's cool if we meet ever 1st and 3rd weekend, whatever's good for you guys" while conveniently leaving out that every 3 weeks they're On-Call at work and therefore will miss every-other session.
You need to find that person, and you need to confront them. Maybe you can fix their concern and make the game enjoyable for them, or maybe you can catch a problem player and get them away from the table early on. This should be the DM's job, but sometimes the DM is busy and doesn't notice until it's too late (speaking from experience here).

[Contrast]

Everything everyone else said about being polite and considerate. I would say one of the key things I found was establishing a timetable and method of communication for organising games. Some sort of group text is probably best so everyone is on the same page. Questions to raise - are you playing every week on the same day, same time, same location? If not, is there another system or will it be ad hoc for each session? How many people missing will result in the session being called off? I'd also check what experience everyone has with the game (someone without a copy of the PHB for instance is probably going to struggle leveling up at home).

If someone is going to be hosting - what are you expected to bring? Dice, pencils, paper, snacks, alcoholic or soft drinks? With strangers I'd err on the side of caution about bringing money to contribute for food right off the bat but you'll have to see what everyone else wants to do. Are there any other issues (parking so as to not annoy neighbours, kids asleep upstairs, etc)?

Be honest with people - if you think you can't make a session or something I always prefer getting a maybe a week in advance instead of a yes which turns into a no an hour beforehand (though a no an hour beforehand is better than nothing at all!).

Also:


Also, beware the reluctant gamer. I find that with strangers, especially those who are new to the game, that there is usually one reluctant player in the group. They want to play D&D or thought that they did, but then they meet the group or experience the reality of the game, and suddenly they don't want to anymore.

Remember keep an eye on yourself as well. Give it a few of weeks and then sit down and check you're having fun. If you're not, address it or make your excuses. Just don't be that guy who says he's going to turn up and never does :smalltongue:

[Asmotherion]

-Show up on time. Maybe even 15 minutes earlier if it's a comon place and not someone's home.
-Be polite (don't overdo it though, you don't want to come out as weird)
-Be sure to have your own set of dice, notebook, pen&pencil and any D&D Books you have available on your person. It's ok to to let someone have a look at your books (if he looks like he won't destroy them) but never lend them to people you don't know if you'll ever meet again.
-Be properly dressed in a casual style. You don't know what you'll walk into, so it's better to do a good first impression.
-Smile. Don't get too involved in arguements from day one, and instead, focus on having a good time. Everyone likes having a good time, and nobody likes striffness.
-Get to know the other persons there if possible. If the game does not start as soon as you get there, it's good to know your co-players.
-Don't give too much personal information from day one. Get to know everyone first, and share information latter on.