View Full Version : The Grab Bag of Madness!!!

Shackled Slayer
2018-01-12, 04:44 AM
"The demon stares at you licking it's chops menacingly as it grasps the paladin in it's left hand, divine fire rolling off it like water, seemingly. The wizard is chanting feverishly from within a salt circle. You look down and see the deceptively innocuous harlequin patterned blue and orange bag tied to your belt. Reluctantly and desperately, you reach in, and pull out... A toilet plunger?"

The Grab Bag of Madness started off as the bag of useless items, described to me from a close friend from her previous RPG misadventures. I sought to recreate the 100 item list-table, but became more ambitious and more insane. Thus, the Grab Bag of Madness; a ten page table of 1,000 assorted items, ranging in magic, power, useless-ness, and general shenaniganry. Each of my friends who GM games have access to one, which i have printed out 3 copies so far.

For reasons of obeying forum rules i have opted not to post the list in it's entirety, instead selecting a general assortment of the favorites and less-than favorite bag items. There is a number of iteems on my list which include sexual content and profanity. Your Grab Bag of Madness might have different things, but they are made in the same spirit of massively de-stabilizing games and potential TPKs
And of course this list owes many items to a thread on this very site, somewhere, about darn near absolutely useless magical items. If you know it be a dear and link to it in the comments, eh? Much appreciated. So without further ado, a sampling of what you could pull from the bag:

An ancient red wyrm dragon

A toilet plunger

A keg of elven high potency alcohol called "jungle juice"

A displacer kitten

A demonically possessed fruit juicer

The spiffy bowler hat of gender bending

The encyclopedia Britanica

The dwarven armor of "weild me!" spiked dwarven plate with a handle to use the party dwarf as a weapon

A basket of assorted fine cheeses and sausages

A uni-hamster

A chain of inverse force (pulling on it pushes it away)

A dancing flame burst throwing returning adamantine vorpal +5 double sword that dissappears if not used in every combat

1D100 immortal, invincible chickens

A sens of foreboding (DC 25 fear effect)

And there's always a chance to pull another Grab Bag of Madness. They like to reproduce

The bags are indestructible save only for putting one inside another (any item that is attempted to be "stored" in the bag is instantly destroyed) and otherwise they can be found within a cooled lava flow, at the heart of suns, locked away in deep vaults, etc. Nobody knows where they came from although there are thousands of theories. They show up if detect good/evil/law/chaos is cast as chaotic evil. They are sentient and respond to threats or violence towards them by belching out a massive threat (like the ancient red wyrm).

Use magic device MAY be used to get specific objects or creatures, but the bag is not always cooperative (read: if a player makes a habit of going for the more game breaking items regularly then feel free to blame it on the bag refusing) and all such failed attempts result in the normal bag reaching in procedure

To use, a user need only reach into a bag. The player then rolls 3D10, preferebly a percentile and a different colored dice. They then read the result as one result being the list, one result being the tens place and the last being the ones place. A ten in the tens place is a single digit number unless the ones place die also rolls ten, which denotes item 100.

This bag has ended games at first sittings. This bag has saved the proverbial bacon of my players several times. This bag has caused level one players to rocket to level 10. This bag is incredibly fun to roll on, and to give answers for, granted the items are largely varied and ludicrous. I don't suggest it for serious toned games, but i would be lying if i said it wasn't the most wildly entertaining thing i've ever homebrewed.

Thoughts? Suggestions? I'm thinking of writing out 10 more lists for a total of 20 (that's 2,000 items for those of you keeping score at home)

2018-01-13, 03:00 PM
You got a google doc with the full list lying around somewhere?

Hugh Mann
2018-01-13, 11:10 PM
If you want some complete and utter madness you could go to the SCP wiki joke section for inspiration. Just looking at their highest rated joke SCPs it includes the following:
1. A rock that makes people procrastinate
2. A bunch of bugs that everyone agrees looks scary
3. A normal person. Any time that person drives/steers/pilots a vehicle that vehicle and every person on board except the that person are doomed as every possible hazard in the nearby area becomes exponentially more dangerous.

You can find them listed here

Shackled Slayer
2018-01-14, 06:49 AM
You got a google doc with the full list lying around somewhere?
FINAL EDIT: no, i don't know how to make google docks work for my buggy laptop, but i could message you the items. It'd be an arm long message though.

If you want some complete and utter madness you could go to the SCP wiki joke section for inspiration. Just looking at their highest rated joke SCPs it includes the following:
1. A rock that makes people procrastinate
2. A bunch of bugs that everyone agrees looks scary
3. A normal person. Any time that person drives/steers/pilots a vehicle that vehicle and every person on board except the that person are doomed as every possible hazard in the nearby area becomes exponentially more dangerous.

You can find them listed here

Thanks! I'll definitely give that a look here one of these days. I've currently got to prep some plot for my IRL campaigns so it might be a couple days

Shackled Slayer
2018-02-13, 03:59 PM
I know that posting two comments in a row is frowned upon but it's been a while since anybody commented on this and i feel that this is important to write as a stand alone comment:

while i may not have posted the list itself, it really doesn't matter. if you can think of 100 random objects that can pop out of a magic bag, some of which are completely useless and others being game breaking but flighty, then write them out on a list from 1 to 100. there you go! it's your very own, custom made grab bag of madness. want more lists for players to draw from? write out more, each list having 100 items, the number of lists equal to the number of sides on a single die.

why should you do this instead of having me just post the list itself in it's original glory?
1) What i find humorous to be randomly given to a bunch of players in a fantasy setting may be different than what you find funny. Lolth's panties, still warm to the touch, appeal to my perversion and sense of absurdist humor, where you may have a more PG rated humor and not appreciate having a bag that spit's out the evil spider god's undies, possibly garnering the player who drew them out the disfavor of Lolth.

2) you might not want the player to have a weapon that could potentially 1-shot your BBEG, but still want randomized whimsy.

3)You are a creative sort and play RPGs to express that, and honestly i would be robbing you that experience if instead of letting you come up with 1,000 random chunks-o-junk i just plastered up a list that honestly you would probably tweak to fit your needs. maybe toilet humor isn't your thing, or maybe a succubus sex slave just doesn't make sense in your game.

my point is, the idea of an item that functions as a randomized item dispenser is more the idea than showing you how clever a home-brewer I am. and believe me, sitting in a room full of friends laughing hysterically about absurdly stupid magical items to put on a table for your next session is almost more fun than the finished product.

2018-02-15, 04:11 PM
I think I may have to use this now in one of my less-serious sessions. I have one player in particular in mind for whom this would be amazing...

2018-05-05, 11:04 AM
What would the different tables be? Would they be different sections such as "monsters" or "random stuff?"

2018-05-05, 05:24 PM
FINAL EDIT: no, i don't know how to make google docks work for my buggy laptop, but i could message you the items. It'd be an arm long message though.

Oooo. Yespls. I'd love to have a look at what crazy stuff you came up with. :3

2018-05-06, 01:59 PM
[QUOTE=Shackled Slayer;22751492]FINAL EDIT: no, i don't know how to make google docks work for my buggy laptop, but i could message you the items. It'd be an arm long message though.

any chance i could get a message of this list also? i love this idea!

Shackled Slayer
2018-06-19, 01:21 AM
EDIT!: we'll see if i get in trouble for this or not, if so, well, I learned a valuable didn't I?

>>>List 1<<<

1. The encyclopedia Britannica
2. A toilet plunger
3. A magic 8 ball in packaging
4. A model hand grenade
5. A T-shirt cannon
6. A foot long purple dildo
7. A ripe avocado
8. A literal shaved beaver
9. An ice-cold coca cola
10. $10,000 in Canadian coins
11. A raw, uncleaned turkey
12. The “Shield of direct hits”
13. A collectible bobble head
14. A beehive
15. Stephen King’s “the mist” on DVD
16. An enraged hamster
17. Every lost sock from a given year tied into a rope
18. A woman’s evening gown
19. A tuxedo outfit
20. An original I-pod
21. A “world’s greatest dad” coffee mug
22. One grab bag of madness
23. A beholder
24. A jar of mayonnaise
25. A possessed furbee
26. A confused looking, disheveled looking scientist
27. A “deck of many things”
28. A “wand of wonder”
29. A “bag of beans”
30. An I.O.U
31. A defective swifter wet jet which sprays cleaning solution with 4D10 force before failing catastrophically
32. A chastity belt, still warm to the touch
33. A book describing 101 ways to prepare potatoes
34. The second the user’s hand reaches in, 10,000 origami swans erupt from the bag
35. A monopoly board game missing the cowboy and thimble game pieces
36. A shrubbery
37. An unidentifiable, pulsating mass of bio-matter
38. One paddle ball, which breaks after 10 hits
39. One of the PCs that were pulled into the sky by the user’s hand, giant sized
40. A stiff pornographic magazine with what appears to be water damage
41. A lit bundle of dynamite (5D20 blast)
42. A large bean bag chair
43. A Frisbee with razorblades glued half-assedly glued to the edges
44. The lament configuration, which summons 4 level 15 chain devils
45. An elephant the size of a tea cup poodle
46. An unicycle
47. An enraged red great wyrm
48. A pamphlet on the benefits of “jazzercising”
49. A French horn
50. A friendly floomph named Fred
51. A bar of soap
52. A poorly maintained chainsaw (2d10 slicing)
53. A live fetus in a disembodied placenta
54. “The wizard’s guide to necrophilia” with a forward by Geth Dreadcorpse
55. The “spiffy belt of gender-bending”
56. An ominously ticking box
57. A Victorian love letter
58. A ring of explosive flatulence
59. A taco bell quadruple stuft burrito (consuming causes uncontrollable diarrhea for 1D4 days)
60. An unmarked potion
61. A rubber chicken given life by dark unholy forces
62. An overripe watermelon
63. A 90’s cassette player with a “backstreet boys” cassette inside
64. A disembodied pair of lungs which continue to breathe
65. An etcha-sketch
66. A Ouija board which beckons to be used (will save DC 17)
67. Bagpipes
68. Banjo
69. A rope elemental
70. A Nothic
71. A rope elemental & a Nothic
72. A jar of screams
73. A bag of devouring
74. A croquet mallet covered in Vaseline
75. A 10 foot long centipede
76. A bottle of Rogaine
77. “The unstoppable door-stop”, which rips any door it is wedged under off its hinges and away.
78. A 50 lb. bag of potatoes
79. A book containing every unspeakable deed ever committed by humanoids
80. A vessel containing a slime girl named Ona who can transform into any medium humanoid form and follows the orders of whoever pulled her from the bag.
81. A literal can of worms
82. A button that turns night into day and vice versa
83. A muffin button
84. A hookah that produces chlorine gas instead of regular smoke.
85. 1 lb. of crystal meth
86. A calligraphy set which only writes obscenities
87. A normal hookah
88. A button, which when pressed causes whoever pressed it to explode and die instantly
89. A tap dancing frog named Jeremiah
90. A set of 8 poke’balls and 8 “gym badges”
91. An MK 12 rotary grenade launcher with a single shot replaced with a confetti blast (normal rounds deal 2D10 blast damage in a 5 foot radius)
92. A 12 speed mountain bike
93. A live corpse crawler
94. The object of a future quest line
95. “Abs of steel in a week” diet book
96. A bucket with a discreet hole
97. The “fishing pole of boot catching”
98. A horny octopus
99. A “vase of endless bouquets of flowers
100. You pull out exactly what you needed at the moment.

>>>List 2<<<

1. A Grab Bag of madness
2. A bale of sparkplugs
3. A silent bell
4. A helmet with moose horns (+1 AC, -1 hide)
5. A Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel disc
6. 1D4 hand grenades (2D10 force in a 20 ft. radius)
7. A “Rope of untying”
8. Boots of cannon fire foot fall
9. The unmovable door (once set anywhere it becomes set on that point and does not move.)
10. A bouquet of bologna
11. A whistle which awakens the Tarasque
12. A grumpy but loveable Treant named Treant
13. The “chastity belt of seduction”
14. A weaver’s loom
15. A water squirting flower
16. A **** skin hat
17. A gem and gold covered cod piece
18. A torch which casts darkness when lit
19. A mummified whale penis
20. A haunted toaster
21. A bundle of weasels
22. Rubber lock picks
23. The “tiara of narcissism”
24. The “whip of animal malice”
25. 20 lbs. of marbles
26. 1D4 dire boars
27. A chuul
28. The “chimera stick” which polymorphs whatever limb it hits permanently to one of a creature in the monster manual/bestiary selected randomly
29. A ginormous squirrel
30. Dragon skin boots of dragon taunting
31. A guardian naga girl named Adhita friendly to the bag user
32. A crystal ball that creates beautiful images
33. A pair of weighted dice that usually roll snake eyes
34. A ring of invisibility that only works when nobody is looking at the wearer
35. A skimpy set of swimwear
36. A rock with a magical aura
37. A blurry photo of big foot or a U.F.O
38. An elixir which induces a mating frenzy in all nearby monsters
39. A carving of a hand with its middle finger extended
40. A fine hat
41. 1D12 combustible lemons
42. A hammer that, upon striking a nail, which causes all adjacent nails to pop out of place
43. A shaving razor that grows hair instead of cutting it
44. Intestines inflated with helium and twisted into a balloon animal
45. A stale baguette (1D6 bludgeoning)
46. A crown of bones
47. A staff made of a pair of blackened spines and a skull
48. A cloak of human leather
49. Cursed fine pants which when worn cause burning, itching pain
50. A burlap sack
51. A box with a switch that when flicked causes a mechanical finger to pop out of it and return the switch to its original position
52. An ominous tiki that returns to its owner regardless of how it’s disposed
53. A 4 ft. long iron rod
54. A feather
55. A chain of 7,239 paper clips
56. A lustrous watermelon sized chromed orb that rockets with incredible force through anything in its path
57. An amulet which makes the wearer feel as though they are being groped
58. A ukulele
59. An un-openable, indestructible chest
60. A human hand
61. A foot long baton that constantly changes colors
62. An old man who doesn’t speak & Grants a wish whenever the player makes a statement starting with “I wish”, disappearing after granting 3 wishes
63. A blast of wind erupts from the bag
64. A blast of water erupts from the bag
65. A chunk of earth erupts from the bag
66. A blast of fire erupts from the bag
67. 1D20 hostile imps
68. A statue of a snapping turtle that can be brought to life as an ally (move speed 1 foot)
69. A letter from an ancestor of the bag user describing a family secret
70. A jack in the box which never opens
71. A book of dirty limericks
72. A “hat of all hats”
73. A token which when placed on an I.O.U turns into any mundane object the user wants (ANYTHING)
74. An annoying talking item
75. A trombone
76. A pot large enough to cook a chuul
77. 10 lbs. of old bay seasoning
78. Cram, the original meat in a can!
79. Roll again (for list and item) and multiply the result by 10
80. A dissertation on mollusk anatomy
81. A crystal skull of indeterminate value
82. A coin which when flipped never lands or stops spinning
83. One “grog of substantial whimsy”
84. A true cure-all potion
85. A literal bleeding heart
86. A can of peanut brittle which releases 1D8 hydras upon being opened
87. A choker of choking
88. A cane which trips its user
89. An air raid siren
90. A “scroll of burning” which ignites when read
91. A yodeling sword which enrages all nearby monsters
92. A can of air freshener
93. A pair of bongos
94. 1d100 fortune cookies with ominous prophecies
95. A jar of “unicorn cheese”
96. A high powered laser pointer
97. The scroll of “summon ultra-mega chicken”
98. The pebble of misfortune
99. A 10 ft. long Italian sub
100. A flame burst, dancing, adamantine, returning, throwing, vorpal double sword (1D8 + 1D10 fire) with +4 to hit and disappears if not used every combat.

>>>List 3<<<

1. 9 Grab Bags of Madness, 7 Bags of holding, 4 handy haversacks and a single mimic hiding amongst them disguised as a bag of one of the aforementioned types
2. A fart gun
3. The fuzzy dice of misfortune
4. A box of un-holding
5. “broken armor” appears to be a set of full plate adamantine but drops the wearer’s AC to 0
6. A weasel
7. A bat
8. An Abyssal drake
9. A 2 ft. tall brick wall
10. A surge protector power strip
11. A peg leg infested with termites
12. The “brush of lice”
13. Makeup of goblin appearance
14. A damned soul from hell
15. The “Bra of boob sweat”
16. A young blue dragoness who takes the form of a blue haired Lolita
17. A spoon
18. A fork
19. A knife
20. The “staff of fire extinguishing”
21. The “cone hat of peanut gallery comments” (the user is compelled to comment on conversations they aren’t involved in)
22. 1D4 rice cakes in a bento box
23. Bukkake illustrated
24. The sword of cure minor wounds
25. 200 ft. of bubble wrap
26. A backpack full of chocolate pudding
27. An adult black dragon
28. A wreath of poisonous flowers
29. A helmet of confusion
30. A ring of detect magic that detects itself
31. Geese
32. Your inner demons manifested as actual demons
33. A portable glory hole
34. Lady cha-cha, goblin pop diva renowned for wearing a controversial meat suit
35. Chunks of dead hitchhiker
36. The bucket of endless all-you-can-eat shrimp
37. A vile of bubonic plague
38. A book on the art of seduction
39. A friendly fire elemental named smoky
40. Edible underpants
41. Hot cheese nachos
42. A dark crusading vigilante millionaire
43. 1D20 centaurs
44. Land mines (3D10 force, 35 foot radius)
45. The pope
46. A subscription to Men’s health magazine
47. Ass-less chaps
48. 1D20 goblins neutral towards you
49. A pair of nubile slave boys
50. A punch inflated birthday balloon
51. A cooler full of humanoid organs
52. A glass mace (1D8 bludgeoning)
53. Passive aggressive advice written on sticky notes
54. A zesty breakfast burrito
55. A warforged disguised as a human looking for somebody named “Tom donner”
56. The bag inflates like a balloon and shoots off unless grabbed firmly
57. A catapult that launches itself instead of what’s loaded into it
58. A crossbow that fires rainbows heralded by the cheering of children (1D10 radiant damage)
59. A basketball sized wad of ambergris
60. A keg of “elven jungle juice”
61. Two bottles containing universal glue and sovereign solvent, with the labels switched
62. A cannon which fires glitter that sticks to the victim and acts as faerie fire
63. A fan of sucking
64. Earmuffs of amplify sound
65. A clap activated +3 flame sword
66. A suit of mythril chainmail that has a 1 in 20 chance to cause the wearer to be struck by lightning
67. A box of infinite boxes of infinite boxes (and so on)
68. A throwing jackalope
69. A tickle whip
70. A skeleton key of alarm
71. “staff of the wild mage”
72. An ever-smoking cloak
73. A barrel of Dwarven centurion whiskey
74. A ring which petrifies the user
75. A watch that tells you your geographical coordinates instead of the time
76. A ring which fills the wearer with fear
77. A ring of vivid hallucinations
78. A necklace of androgynous appearance
79. A necklace of corporeal instability
80. A plain copper ring
81. A reusable polymorph scroll that functions at random
82. A parrot which screams obscenities
83. A bone seed: when buried grows into a tree of bones with rib cage leaves, 10% chance to grow a single monkey skull
84. A wand which spews loud colorful fireworks that deal 1D4 force damage if they hit a creature
85. A staff which inverts the effects and elements of a spell cast using it.
86. A plain staff of polished redwood
87. An anvil enchanted to be weightless
88. The instant fortress of pain
89. The instant outhouse of madness
90. A keg of raw sewage
91. A flame bat and flame snake that fuse into a flame coatal when they hit half health
92. A jar which billows thick fog so long as it is open
93. A rod of mass summon squirrels
94. A book titled “how to master magic” with each page scrambled except the first, which is a spell of of decipher script for the next page, and that page deciphers the next, and so on. The book has infinite pages.
95. The grab bag of madness attunes to the user and speaks psychically to them
96. A ticket for a pleasant cruise down the river styx
97. A jar of flesh eating beetles
98. A friendly banshrae
99. 300 head of animated cabbage
100. A grab bag of madness

>>>List 4<<<

1. The corpse of random humanoid
2. A robe of disrobement
3. A left handed hammer
4. A chisel of mending
5. A ball gag of amplify voice
6. A solar powered torch
8. A 2 dimensional sphere of adamantine
9. The lariat of lies
10. A sword which doesn’t cut sending the user and target to a random destination
11. A winged viper
12. A uni-hamster
13. A 4 foot long duck
14. A 3 legged toad
15. An 8 oz. rock with drawn on eyes
16. A jester’s cap of regal delusions
17. A tin of pickled sardines
18. A plesioth (from monster hunter)
19. A queropico (from monster hunter)
20. An uragaan (from monster hunter)
21. The solid gold statue of king Midas
22. An aerodynamic orphan
23. A cup of destroy liquid
24. Glasses which show the wearer whatever they wish to see with brief images of horror
25. Grapes of wrath
26. 8 quarts of liquefied rodents
27. One jar of dirt
28. A rod of anti-magic
29. A coin purse of devouring
30. A bag of bad advice
31. A can of LSD
32. The belt of pants destruction
33. A single chopstick
34. A wand of magical girl transformation
35. Binoculars of see into infinity
36. A scroll of perceived etiquette
37. A +5 ring of pretzel making
38. A chain of inverse force
39. The invisibility cloak of dancing lights
40. The blindfold of dark-vision
41. A kazoo of +10 performance
42. A tsundere drider friendly to the user
43. Disappearing shower curtains
44. The stein of sobriety
45. The Dwarven armor of “wield me”
46. A shield made of Styrofoam
47. A stuffed deer’s head
48. A gargantuan half-dragon dinosaur
49. Gloves of switch dominant hand
50. A Grab Bag of Madness
51. A shaker that produces any spice the user names
52. The +20 spoon of vampire slaying
53. A headless goat that defecates grape skittles
54. A cape of billowing
55. A drow centric B.D.S.M erotic novel
56. A Clydesdale warhorse
57. A ring that gives the wearer a magnificent beard or moustache in a style the wearer desires
58. Adamantine boots which devour the wearer’s feet in the style of a blender
59. The “wand of necromantic cooking” which enchants a corpse or cut of meat to cut, prepare, season and expertly cook themselves
60. A cinnabun which if torn in half explodes into 1D100 cinnabuns
61. A pygmy beholder
62. A dart that deals 1 point of damage when thrown before returning to the user
63. An inner tube
64. A riding ostrich
65. The stone tablet of learn language
66. The “shield of accordion polka” which can attune to the sword of yodeling, then granting +3 to AC and attacks, but causes all nearby monsters to focus on you
67. 1D100 indestructible chickens
68. 1D12 hat dancing Russians
69. A message in a bottle
70. A taxidermy python that may be used as a staff/spell focus
71. A displacer kitten
72. The jug of create drink
73. A bag of multiply tubers
74. The rod of “I wonder…”
75. A basket of assorted cheeses and sausages
76. A leather recliner chair
77. The “boots of walking”
78. A literal shoe tree
79. The talking conch of true or false
80. A huge monstrous toad
81. A cursed “amulet of hideous laughter”
82. A swarm of locusts
83. An ingot of diamond worth 10,000 GP
84. Four stones of Marco polo (one user says Marco, the other three scream polo)
85. A brooch which causes whoever looks at it to forget math for 1D6 days
86. A bow tie that reacts to the user’s jokes by spinning
87. A children’s book with of an uplifting tale
88. A plot device
89. A book on how to lie convincingly
90. The “mug of Dwarven hate” which turns any alcohol poured into it into non-alcoholic and to taste like sewage
91. The “ring of summon penguins” which summons XD20 penguins whenever a spell is cast, where X = the spells level
92. A clown who attacks any mimes
93. A mime who attacks any clowns
94. A “ring of racism” keyed to a random race
95. A single immortal mosquito which buzzes around the bag user for 1D4 days (will 17 not to go into blind rage)
96. A mated pair of tribbles (from star trek)
97. A war hammer which deals 5D20 bludgeoning, but enchants the target to be immune to bludgeoning damage
98. A water wiggle
99. A 10 person hookah of cure wounds (3D20)
100. An amulet of summon Io

>>>List 5<<<

1. A kinky kyton named Karen
2. Bolt cutters
3. A plate of rocky mountain oysters
4. A Chinese finger trap
5. A clown horn
6. An entire sail ship
7. A folding chair
8. A war axe which explodes on impact (1D20 force, 30 foot radius)
9. A jar of eyeballs
10. A skull in a wizard’s hat
11. Gloves of +3 sleight of hand
12. A mask of crushing sorrow
13. An extendable ladder
14. A cellular phone whose only contact is Cthulhu
15. A can of beans
16. Maracas
17. A Spanish guitar
18. A trumpet
19. 2D12 hour potion of troll form
20. A bundle of ballpoint pens
21. A boom-box playing “everybody dance now” on infinite loop
22. A candle of electric sparks
23. A ring of distraction (-5 to concentration checks)
24. Cardboard plate mail
25. Gauntlets of insufficient grip (enemy is guaranteed to succeed on disarm attempts)
26. A can of peanut brittle
27. A pogo stick (+1 to jump checks)
28. A shock collar and remote
29. A confetti cannon
30. An amulet of “become gnome”
31. A loaded stapler
32. A book of everything you forgot which is now too late to change
33. Hallucinatory mushrooms
34. A “staff of sheep shearing”
35. A pen of “ruin paper”
36. The glove of the thriller
37. A rose
38. A Lillie
39. A Daisy
40. A tulip
41. A quiver of 2D20 arrows of darkness
42. A croquet ball
43. A box of surgical gloves
44. A realistic fake moustache
45. A monocle
46. A wand of banish chickens
47. Gloves of crab hands (1d12 natural claw attack)
48. A necklace made of teeth
49. A curse ring of overpowering musk
50. A deed to a property in hell
51. A dancing +5 mop
52. An air horn disguised as a fire extinguisher
53. A T-shirt which read “I used the grab bag of madness and all I got was this T-shirt”
54. A portable hole
55. A bucket of children’s tears
56. A strange sense of foreboding sets upon the bag user
57. A gun which shoots a torrent of thick green slime
58. The bag produces thick smoke which smells like burning electronics
59. A black pair of stiletto heels
60. The sombrero of bottomless tostada chips
61. 5 lbs. of crispy cooked bacon
62. 1D20 explosive raccoons
63. The saddle of hold monster
64. “Cory’s chair of restlessness”
65. An angry gnome
66. A cup of randomize drink (10% chance of it being poisoned
67. The spiffy belt of gender-bending
68. An eastern brush painting of a cross between a mantis and a crane titled “The sea snipe”
69. A grab bag of madness
70. Top ramen
71. The party hat of imminent drunkenness (-10 to saves against the effects of alcohol)
72. Romeo & Juliet’s dead bodies
73. A button which launches whoever presses it into the air
74. A bottle of fine elven wine
75. A grenade of 2D10 healing
76. A Humvee engine block
77. A rave candy bracelet
78. A large clock on a chain necklace
79. The katana of dishonor
80. A refrigerator
81. Eternally wet coals
82. A bottle of dehydrated water
83. An IKEA bookshelf
84. A Mayan calendar
85. A dry erase board
86. A bottle of deer musk
87. A plastic poke’ball
88. A giant isopod
89. A cursed sleeping cap of comatose state
90. A rabid unicorn
91. A blue koopah shell which when thrown hit’s the individual with the highest current hit points for 10D20 force damage
92. The scratch and sniff encyclopedia of body odors
93. A pack of chewed gum
94. A bottle which can hold any liquid
95. A portal gun
96. A bag of golf clubs & balls
97. A voodoo doll with a photo of its victim attached
98. An instant roller coaster
99. Ninety nine squirrels stampede from within the bag
100. You pull out a box with bars carved into the outside. Inside there are 12 animal figures of power: a steel dragon, an ivory mammoth, a turquoise bison, a copper mega boa, an onyx dire gorilla, 4 silver wolves, an opal owl-bear, and a yellow diamond dire lion. Each creature can become the creature it represents, but can only be used one at a time. The activation and deactivation phrases can be set by the user by attuning to the box and all it’s figures. Anyone can use it with the activation phrase being “menagerie” and deactivation being “****zoo”. The creatures automatically return to figurine form upon being reduced to 0 HP and each figure can only be used once per day.

Shackled Slayer
2018-06-19, 01:22 AM
>>>List 6<<<

1. A vampiric blade that heals who it hits and deals damage to the user (2D8)
2. Tube socks
3. A tennis racket
4. A marble bust of a loathsome NPC
5. The instructions on how to become a lich missing a single key component
6. A rot-iron dagger (1d4 + 1D6 necrotic)
7. An obsidian altar worth 10,000,000 GP
8. The soul of an old man in a sacrificial effigy
9. The soul of a young child in a sacrificial effigy
10. An adamantine, skull shaped box carved with the runes necessary to be a phylactery
11. A voodoo doll of the bag user
12. A black cat, a ladder, & an extremely fragile mirror
13. A stained glass mosaic of the bag user’s deity or most beloved loved one
14. Shoes of slip-&-slide
15. Origami paper
16. The grab bag of madness
17. A cat of nine tails
18. An hourglass frozen in time
19. A top carved in runes which when spun creates a tornado centered on it
20. A scroll which reads “it’s raining men”, which causes men to fall from the sky
21. A skeleton horse engulfed in blue flames
22. A squirt gun filled with skunk stink
23. A list of fool’s errands
24. A literal book of lies
25. A cursed turtle shell backpack of become tortoise
26. A recipe marked “The elixir of eternal life” but is actually a recipe for a deadly poison (DC 25 fort save)
27. A bard instrument of -40 to performance
28. Thirteen black sheep
29. A heart shaped locket
30. A cloak of peacock feathers (-10 stealth)
31. What appears to be a monkey’s paw but is actually a snack made of pretzels, cheese & jerky
32. A roast ham
33. A top hat of animation
34. Gloves of cast “prestidigitation”
35. A blanket of cold
36. The pretty tutu of gender-bending
37. A paintball gun
38. A great axe of ultra-bouncing
39. A Roc feather quill
40. A blunderbuss of bouncy balls
41. A dancing cannon
42. A didgeridoo
43. A 12 piece Tupperware set
44. A tin of mints
45. A mousetrap snaps on the bag user’s hand
46. A kinky leather collar
47. An exquisite tea set
48. A plate of pancakes with assorted syrups
49. An enchanted set of self-playing jazz instruments
50. The bag screeches a dial up sound
51. The nearest tree explodes dramatically
52. A pair of flip flops and sun glasses
53. A handful of sand
54. 5 bolts, 4 washers, 3 nuts, 2 nails & a wrench
55. A skeleton playing “careless whisper” on a saxophone
56. A box full of photos of a man living a happy, fulfilling life
57. A cheap Halloween costume
58. A jar full of toenails
59. A great club that may be used as a finesse weapon
60. An abacus
61. Literal lady fingers
62. 1D6 onions
63. A book which induce epileptic seizures
64. Communist propaganda
65. 300 lbs. of chains
66. An anchor
67. A bonsai tree
68. A literal skin flute
69. A succubus named Lilith who is in love with the bag user
70. A packet of parasite eggs
71. A potion of void stomach
72. A rope, a couple of railroad spikes, a sturdy chair, & a corkscrew
73. A masterwork adamantine halberd
74. The seal of approval, a talking seal who approves of all your ideas and actions
75. The duck of distraction
76. The fishbowl of destroy water
77. An umbrella of storm calling
78. A pumpkin
79. An afro wig
80. A holy pickaxe (1D4 piercing + 1D6 radiant)
81. A troll
82. A castration kit
83. A mango sized geode
84. A block of wood
85. A block of cheese
86. A book titled “how not to suck at playing music”
87. A push broom
88. Toe nail clippers
89. A bowl of primordial soup
90. A staff of command vermin
91. Centipede breeding pheromones
92. The “bag of infinite marshmallows”
93. The bag belches poisonous gas
94. A pair of pliers
95. The “ring of uncontrollable flatulence”
96. A grass skirt and coconut bra
97. A carved wooden clam which creates 1D4 pearls worth 300 GP each day
98. A teddy bear with human dentures in its mouth
99. A pillow stuffed with human hair
100. A black and silver pocket watch which when activated stops time for 5 minutes. May be used once per day without risking damage, but may be used a second time with 20% chance of breaking, adding another 20% each consecutive use that day. If broken it becomes useless, repairable only by a 9th level wish spell. Or it can be repaired as a regular pocket watch

>>>List 7<<<

1. An anime body pillow
2. A ball of drain hair
3. An ornate animated filigree clockwork peacock
4. A gold and obsidian pocket watch (worth 10,000 GP)
5. An orc in gimp-wear
6. A lunchbox of crayons
7. A cauldron
8. A sock puppet
9. A slingshot
10. A literal pound of flesh
11. A pair of wax wings of flying
12. One liter of fine caviar
13. A remote control drone
14. A cloak of invisibility
15. A scroll of dragon fear effect
16. A Deed to a random fort
17. A displacer moose
18. A Dwarven urgosh
19. A book of smart remarks
20. A Dwarven romance novel written in elvish
21. A nargacuga (from monster hunter)
22. A zinogre (from monster hunter)
23. A deviljho (from monster hunter)
24. A 25 lb. bag of cat nip
25. The rock of extreme throwing (3D20)
26. A 20 card deck of blank fancy bordered cards
27. A scroll of recall fine detail
28. Glasses of astral perception
29. A sundial
30. An incredibly detailed world globe the size of a steamer trunk
31. A piece of the fabric of time & space
32. A blank wall scroll
33. An un-magnifying glass
34. A heavy crossbow
35. A towel
36. A literal cat-of-nine-tails
37. A silent cannon
38. “The bardic flute of un-making” (DC 30 perform to erase from existence target creature/object)
39. Soap on a rope
40. A book of draconic insults
41. A 12 piece set of Dwarven beard combs
42. A rotary dial phone
43. A pitching machine
44. A bag of trail mix
45. Sexy fishnet stockings
46. A sock filled with 500 copper coins
47. 2,000 ping pong balls
48. A plate of delicious shrimp and grits
49. A stale fruit cake with a treasure map inside
50. An animated chocolate bunny
51. A bag of holding bags of holding
52. An angry dire bear
53. A hand vacuum
54. A jar of freshly wrangled bull semen
55. A lightning rod
56. A list of everything that could go wrong
57. A tuft of moist alpaca hair
58. A jar of pickles
59. Saran wrap
60. A “kamen rider” belt
61. A dark elf Matron
62. The “level grindstone” grants EXP equal to your current level, for killing small harmless creatures
63. Klingon anemones
64. 1D100 axiomatic entities rounded to the nearest increment of ten under the bag user’s control
65. A 10 foot by 10 foot giant D6 that can only be moved by attacking it
66. A guide to loving one’s self (not like that you pervert!)
67. A full noble house of dark elves which disappear into the underworld after 24 hours
68. A peanut plant
69. A banana phone
70. A fully equipped taco truck
71. A dagger signed by Dritz Do'urden
72. A tower shield of intangibility
73. Fortune cookies of Dwarven quotes
74. A pizza paddle
75. A unicorn corpse flailing and flying around wildly
76. Cheetah print boots
77. A squid whistle
78. A ring of crustacean sex appeal
79. The bag changes colors and expels 90 gallons of ocean water and flotsam
80. A writing desk
81. A gibbering mouther
82. A compulsory hat of high noon (the wearer proclaims the exact time of 12:00 p.m.)
83. A Grab Bag of Madness
84. A literal dancing sword
85. A scabbard of amplify yodeling
86. A dragon’s egg (hatches in 4D20 days)
87. 50 lbs. of wax
88. A decorative lantern
89. A 100 count package of coffee filters
90. Irrational fear in a 100 foot radius (DC 30 fear effect
91. A box of infinite fine cigars
92. A button with “**** this I’m out” written on it. Pressing it automatically allows the user to escape through any solid surface by floating away. Attempts to stop you cause people to bounce ineffectively away
93. The bag explodes into tiny threads and it rains copper coins for 1D6 hours
94. The bag emits the Wilhelm scream
95. A book explaining how all living things are related title “You’re eating your distant relatives and I can prove it” DC 25 will save not to have an existential crisis after reading
96. The bag trumpets like a war-horn & an army of gnomes mounted on dog sized jackalopes appears from the nearest hills or forest attacking your enemies before disappearing in a stampede
97. A portal to a sunny beach with folding chairs under parasols & an ice chest full of beers and sodas
98. The diary of a teenage girl struggling with the changes in her life
99. An origami crane with “You can do it I believe in you!” written across its wings
100. A 4-inch tall Moai figure that can become a full sized Moai iron golem mech with an activation phrase decided by the user

>>>List 8<<<

1. A delicious 7-layer dip (party size)
2. A demonically possessed fruit juicer
3. A tuba
4. An R.C. car
5. A large clay jar filled with ball bearings, 5 lbs. of black powder, & a 20 second fuse (10D10 + 20)
6. Bread
7. Peanut butter
8. Jelly
9. A bucket of tar
10. A pumpkin
11. A scarecrow built around a desiccated humanoid corpse
12. A ring of Jell-O form
13. The ingredients for stone soup
14. A tentacle
15. 80 lbs. of cinnamon
16. A golden Rajang (from monster hunter)
17. A Kushala Daora (from monster hunter)
18. A Gore Magala (from monster hunter)
19. A Chameleos (from monster hunter)
20. A Brute Tigrex (from monster hunter)
21. A Gammoth (from monster hunter)
22. A massive shredding machine
23. A black lotus (containing 20 9th level spell slots)
24. A mantle of dramatic entrance
25. A staff of point blank A.O.E spellcasting
26. A hostile iron golem
27. A whip cream gun
28. A suspicious crossbow
29. A mask of anonymity
30. Songedge (dancing adamantine bastard sword, +5 to hit, x2 damage to drow, deals 1D6 con damage on failed save DC 20)
31. A carriage
32. A literal clockwork orange
33. A solid gold giant’s fist
34. A halo
35. A small sarcophagus containing a mummified falcon
36. A cursed amulet that grants +4 to all checks except against the DC 25 will save against its dark influence
37. AXE body spray (+10 charisma bonus towards creatures of orcish or Dwarven decent)
38. A ruby sequin jumpsuit
39. A perm wig
40. “A teapot of tea time” every day at noon the teapot produces hot tea
41. “The teapot of terror” every day at noon an unspeakable aberrant horror emerges from the teapot
42. The meat grinder of infinite humanoid flesh (always come out ground)
43. A blacksmith’s tool kit cursed to destroy metal
44. Boots of friction-less movement
45. A newton’s cradle & a cardboard box
46. The ukulele of induce madness (DC 30 will save)
47. An elven heart crystalized as jet and wreathed in black roses
48. The +20 5D10 slingshot of annihilation (has a 50/50 chance to break)
49. A coffee table with lewd carvings in it
50. A platinum piece which eats other coins
51. A hermit crab the size of a dog
52. Bladed nun-chucks
53. 20 sticks of TNT (20D20 force)
54. A rock
55. A delightful floral scented candle
56. A “501 laws you didn’t know!” book
57. A twister spinner
58. Gnomish lawn dart cone hats (12)
59. Undead repellent
60. Thieves tools & a fondue kit
61. A voodoo doll kit
62. A ring of infertility
63. A roll of “hello my name is” stickers
64. A picnic basket, which magically produces any food the user wants
65. Gloves of +20 perform rude gesture
66. A concrete mixer
67. Cursed dentures of gluttony
68. An invitation to a royal wedding
69. A rifle of silly string spray (web spell)
70. A giant’s walking stick
71. An instant (haunted) mansion
72. An adamantine coffin
73. A jack hammer
74. A magic energy charged stone
75. A diamond and adamantine vial
76. A 50 gallon barrel of astro-glide
77. A scroll which causes the reader to forget the last year of their memory
78. A scroll of recover lost memories
79. 7 daggers hot glued to a club
80. 500 feet of spooled barbed wire
81. A plain silver ring
82. A book of Asian cuisine
83. A wand of conjure glaciers and icebergs
84. A bedazzled leather jacket
85. A finely crafted set of mythril chainmail
86. A masterwork dragon bone and demon heart-string les Paul Gibson guitar with dragon scale body plates, manticore knucklebone tuning keys, troll hide padded kyton chain shoulder straps & a compressed angel feather guitar pick (+10 to bard spellcasting and +8 to perform rolls)
87. A masterwork dragon bone and angel feather string flying V guitar with purple wurm body plates, basilisk bone tuning keys, woven nymph hair shoulder strap, & a Tarasque scale guitar pick (+8 to bard spellcasting rolls & +10 perform)
88. An adamantine frying pan (+2 to hit)
89. An out of tune tuning fork
90. A jar of finger bones
91. A used mattress
92. A toothless saw blade
93. An enchanted anvil of feather fall
94. The snappy gloves of brick summoning
95. An un-enterable tent
96. An F-shirt
97. A British naval uniform
98. A solid gold Great sword
99. Russian nesting dolls
100. A small vial of purest diamond gilded in gold filigree angel wings. Contains 9 angel’s tears. A single tear can cure any disease or resurrect any dead creature, 3 can purify any polluted environment, or all of them can be used to cast greater wish. Purifies any liquid put in it, can create holy water or be used as a holy symbol

>>>List 9<<<

1. T-shirt of ominous description
2. An Astalos (from monster hunter)
3. A Seregios (from monster hunter)
4. A Glavenous (from monster hunter)
5. Gloves of (3D20) rocket fists (hands do not return or re-attach)
6. Shpoopty’s (4D8) healing stick
7. The red solo cup of spawn red solo cups
8. The chisel of stone exploding
9. A rolling computer chair with a jet engine attached
10. A Grab Bag of Madness
11. The ring of Bass desires, spawns 1D4 bass guitars with a 10% chance to summon a wide mouth bass fish instead
12. The flail of BOOM (1D12 + 3D6 damage in 30 foot area, fort DC 20 to resist explosion as the user, otherwise thrown back)
13. The fly swatter of clone flies
14. 4D20 rockets
15. 1D20 shuriken and a set of nun chucks
16. Josh’s goat horned helm of stubbornness
17. A purple jewel of demonic power
18. A spray bottle
19. A wheelbarrow
20. A map of another world
21. A suit of bear trap plate mail
22. A 100 color pen
23. A weed whacker with a dire flail attachment ( 3D8 -3)
24. You gain a rank in a class of the DM’s choice
25. The bag screams rape in a female voice for 1D4 minutes
26. A coupon for a free roll in the hay at a brothel
27. A noose
28. Exotic incense
29. 1D20 ingots of lead
30. A jar which keeps its contents ice cold
31. 24 lbs. of yarn
32. A bio hazard bin full of used needles
33. A jar of jellybeans which cannot be opened unless the user guesses how many are inside
34. The muffin-mancer’s handbook
35. A secret decoder ring
36. A cheese lamp (it’s like a gravy boat)
37. The ring of sass
38. A dire, explosive chicken
39. A go-kart sized catapult
40. A thieving pixie
41. A bamboo dining set
42. The cursed searing hot potato, can only be gotten rid of by being thrown at somebody and yelling “hot potato!”
43. A map showing the location of all maps in the world
44. A random teleportation device
45. The ring of change-spell-to-turn-target-inside-out
46. A rainbow-zooka (4D6 energy damage)
47. 6 flash-bang smoke grenades
48. A potion that makes you part ooze
49. A bucket of endless blood
50. A salt shaker filled with parasite eggs
51. A cactus golem
52. A wacky arm waving inflatable tube man
53. 5 rolls of duct tape
54. A manual on mold casting plastic
55. A dildo with “go **** yourself” carved into its side
56. A literal inch worm
57. A jet ski armed with machine guns
58. A US army survival guide (+3 ranks to survival after studying
59. An aluminum foil hat that protects the wearer against all mind altering & reading effects
60. A sock puppet crafting kit
61. An epic heavy metal poster
62. An I-pod with all the music in existence psychically attuned to the user
63. A raincoat with 4 sleeves
64. A beginners guide to antiquing
65. A replica of the Venus De’ Milo
66. The answers of the upcoming ivy league math finals
67. A platter of fried chicken (strips and traditional
68. A pair of fuzzy dice
69. A trumpet archon seeking adventure but sworn against violence
70. S P I D E R S ! ! !
71. A portable DVD player
72. A jar of broken hearts
73. A “wand of welding”
74. A wedding cake
75. A camper trailer
76. A jar of chaotic evil butterflies
77. A potter’s wheel
78. A collection of small glass animal figures
79. Sailor moon: the complete animated series on DVD
80. A bucket of endless quick setting concrete
81. A couple’s counseling handbook
82. A random vegetable or fruit
83. A jar of pasta
84. A Victorian era vanity
85. A finely crafted wooden box
86. A woodworker’s tool kit
87. A box of assorted artisanal teas
88. An aromatic fall candle
89. A lobster trap
90. Lolth’s panties still warm to the touch
91. Upon reaching in, the bag changes color
92. A manual on identifying a wide range of arthropods
93. A rotor-tiller
94. A honking clown nose
95. A Fiji mermaid
96. A -1 to hit cursed dagger
97. A ship mounted harpoon gun
98. A pirate ship
99. A wand of bubbles
100. The rod of crimson butterflies; the rod has 3 charges which refill every day at dawn. When used the rod creates a swarm of thousands of butterflies that flutter randomly, exploding wherever they land or die dealing 10D10 force damage in a 20 foot radius. Any that don’t detonate flutter away to parts unknown. The rod has a 25% chance of summoning a mundane swarm of non-explosive butterflies.

>>>List 10<<<

1. A shape-shifting spork which transforms into whatever utensil the user wants/needs
2. Monopoly cowboy and thimble game pieces
3. A Malefestio (from monster hunter)
4. A Daimyo Hermitaur (from monster hunter)
5. A Mizutsune (from monster hunter)
6. A wet dog scented candle
7. A ring of undeath (instantly kills the wearer & reanimates them as a white)
8. An undead porcupine
9. 200 lbs. of Sudafed
10. A wand of melt mundane metal
11. A hang glider
12. The bag grows arms and legs and begins to running around like a child after a double shot of espresso
13. A ring of shocking grasp handshakes
14. A plow
15. An ebony fly figure of power
16. A shocker lizard
17. The ultimate golem manual
18. A protractor
19. A bottle of clear coat nail polish
20. A large wrought iron cart
21. An amulet of an unknown god
22. An excremental (use lemure with double HD
23. A sliver queen egg
24. A dragon claw drinking horn
25. A wyrmling dragon plush
26. A +5 holy relic which when used spouts heretical , blasphemous things
27. A snowbank falls from the sky onto the bag user’s head
28. A tye-dye blanket
29. A 3 lb. cheeseburger
30. A laser sword (4D8 energy)
31. The blueprints for a water park
32. A hand held gaming device pre-loaded with Tetris
33. A photo of the bag user, in which they have been brutally murdered
34. A polluted water elemental
35. A gallon of Tabasco hot sauce
36. The bag shoots lightning into the sky & calls forth a vicious storm
37. A deck of first generation Yu-Gi-Oh! Trading cards
38. A high powered flamethrower (5D6 fire)
39. The user’s genitalia become barbed or fanged. Can be undone by remove curse
40. A cloud of black flies
41. An assortment of magic markers
42. A returning boomerang of guaranteed hits (100 bludgeoning damage)
43. An orb which produces fun facts on a variety of subjects
44. An adorable fuzzy creature
45. A clam shell bra
46. A scroll which returns it’s owner to life after they have been dealt enough damage to kill them
47. A kasuri-gama made from an anchor and a guillotine (STR 22 to wield, 10D4 bludgeoning or slashing)
48. A haunted porcelain doll
49. A cleansing facial mask
50. An instant luxury shower stall
51. The user pulls out a lesser succubus, nymph, angel or elemental spirit (1D4) who becomes their familiar
52. An amulet of epilepsy
53. A literal shoe horn
54. Any combination of food items
55. A tank of helium
56. A friendly Utah raptor
57. An eight piece set of luxury patio furniture
58. A carnivorous plant
59. A bell
60. The bag shudders before a steady stream of slugs begin to pour out of it
61. The bag glows before sucking energy out of the user before spitting it back into them. The bag user loses a single level (but keeps skill points and HD from that level) they gain 5 x the level lost in skill points. The bag user also gains any feat they want ignoring prerequisites and an ability adjustment
62. Industrial cleaner
63. A collar
64. The dead carcass of a lesser demon, a wyvern, or a giant snapping turtle
65. A pamphlet of California time shares
66. A leather couch and love seat
67. A handful of colorful figurines
68. A pickup truck
69. A lusty goblin cheerleader willing to do anything with you
70. A bouncing war hammer
71. A piece of drift wood
72. A tiny mischievous lighting elemental
73. A wand of create wands which disintegrates after one use, the next wand doing the same
74. A journal which automatically records events from its perspective
75. The core rulebook for “litigators & law rooms”, a roleplaying game
76. A trashed bicycle
77. A tackle box
78. A spell book to learn “cone of shame”
79. A jellyfish tank
80. The parts to assemble a merry-go-round
81. The transcripts from a murder trial
82. A back pack filled with 10,000,000 GP worth of gold bars
83. A totem pole
84. An instant stripper pole
85. An 1800s film projector
86. A quad cycle
87. 22 empty beer bottles glued together
88. A hungry-hungry hippos game
89. A button which simulates popping bubble wrap
90. A fidget spinner
91. An executioner’s axe which crits on a 10-20, but has -30 to hit if used in combat
92. A guide on how to build traps directly into your own dungeon
93. A book of cute baby animals
94. The user doesn’t pull anything out but a rumor starts somewhere else about you
95. A tin of curiously strong mints
96. A 12 pack of canned soda
97. The bag shrinks to the size of a coin purse
98. A can of paint
99. Two metric tons of bread rain from the sky
100. A grab bag of madness made of gold

>>>List 11<<<

1. A tin can
2. A floor buffer
3. A USB flash drive filled with nothing but porn
4. A spiral notebook
5. A remote control vending machine
6. A $100 gift card to chipotles
7. A walrus high on LSD
8. A “rat king”
9. Predator wrist blades (1D12)
10. A laser projector
11. A hula girl desk thingy
12. 50 lbs. of rage dust (drug)
13. A rhino horn
14. A toaster oven
15. Today’s newspaper
16. A pair of auto-cleaning, prestidigitation underwear
17. A satellite laser controller
18. A defibrillator
19. The cremated remains of a previous character
20. An air cannon
21. A top-tier hacking computer
22. A phaser stuck on “annoy”
23. A 3 headed dire crocodile
24. An Omnitrix
25. A Seras Victoria cosplay outfit
26. A grab bag of madness
27. A watering can
28. A shadow
29. An atlatl
30. Cursed Gauntlets of pixy strength (reduces strength to 1)
31. Bandoliers of garlic bread
32. A pocket healer named Mercy
33. An all knowing cuttlefish
34. A camcorder
35. An interactive A.I. holographic camgirl
36. A busted up 18 wheeler truck
37. A toilet
38. The deed to an alligator farm
39. 25 “Better Than Life” chips
40. A rune based fortune telling kit
41. A neon sign proclaiming “live nude girls” with a charming naked woman design next to the words
42. A trucker hat with a honey badger logo
43. The bag makes an fog horn noise
44. A wooden ruler
45. 120 tabs of acid
46. A tire iron
47. A roll of toilet paper
48. A doughnut making kit
49. A tooth fairy
50. An aluminum-carbon fiber bastard sword (treated as a light weapon)
51. 20 pitons, A sledgehammer, A crowbar, A mallet, And lockpicks
52. Holy water, A holy symbol, A silver ingot, 10 wooden stakes, A mallet and a healer’s kit
53. Tongs, a billows, flint & steel, A hammer, and an anvil
54. A live peacock
55. A taxidermy kit & handbook
56. Fine silk curtains
57. A Ham radio
58. A book of candle making tips & tricks
59. Notes on the bag user’s s mind, as if made casually by a psychiatrist
60. A warpshot shirren-eye rifle (10D10) with 8 rounds
61. A lich (50/50 chance of being hostile)
62. A meat smoker
63. A griffon door (knocking on the door turns it into a griffin)
64. A random protean (pg 213-217 bestiary 2)
65. An “exorcism me” Elmo
66. A Literal Ham radio
67. A jar of marshmallows
68. 200 brown paper bags
69. An evil sadomasochistic pixie named Navi
70. A pseudo-dragon
71. A drum set on wheels
72. A men’s corset
73. A 12 foot sandwich
74. A sexton
75. A pair of shears
76. You gain unspeakable honor
77. A Tron battle disc
78. An ox cart, bloody and missing a wheel
79. A three eyed ox named Billy
80. The nearest shed becomes an immaculate mansion
81. The nearest mansion becomes a run-down shed
82. A portrait of the king & an assassin approaching him from behind
83. A pig
84. A yacht
85. A hula-hoop sized chakram (1D8)
86. A large outboard motor
87. A guide on how to pilot a starship, and docking protocols & procedures
88. A hula hoop
89. A 3-pack of cans of “Raid” (casts finger of death on vermin and insects)
90. Fine slacks
91. A shrink-dink oven and supplies to use it
92. An air conditioner unit
93. 200 lbs. of asbestos
94. A hand-held LRAD non-lethal sonic cannon
95. A bowl of fried rice
96. A scratching post
97. Assorted spools of ribbon
98. A diorama of the hotel California
99. A 1st edition copy of “gray’s anatomy”
100. The scepter of Ra, a staff topped with a large, faceted diamond containing 10 charges, which may be used to shoot a (10D6) ray of fire, or to cast prismatic orb, prismatic wall, daylight, dancing lights, cone of flame, protection from fire, cure serious wounds, or smite on a single person (1 charge each) all charges are regained at sunrise, each day. Every time all 10 charges are used, roll a percentile; anything below 20 causes the staff to disintegrate.

>>>List 12<<<

1. Twenty tons of lumber (various types)
2. A step stool
3. A master balloon animal making kit
4. A limbo game setup
5. All the parts of a bicycle except bolts, nuts, and washers
6. A lich button
7. 1D12 pink elephants
8. A literal chocolate starfish
9. 3 large pizzas with random toppings
10. One hundred gallons of bleach
11. A ruby sequined suit and top hat
12. A penguin launcher
13. Fifty traffic cones
14. 1D20 tree grenades
15. A garbage dumpster (clean)
16. A solid 10 lb. chocolate laxative bar
17. A Dwarven arcane laptop
18. A bloody goat’s leg
19. A stick of chalk
20. An Ifriit in a lamp (light making kind)
21. A reclining chair with an airbag in the seat, activated when the user reclines in it
22. A rod of summon small fortress
23. A herd of caribou stampede out of the bag
24. A “Yahtzee” board game
25. Rainbow stripe paint
26. Your character gains a crippling fear of treasure chests
27. A can of beans
28. $200 worth of top ramen
29. A literal turtle dove
30. Water tube toys for each PC
31. A giant cockroach
32. A pamphlet of “is the magic bad?” providing detailed instructions on discerning whether magic is harmful or not
33. A battering krasis
34. A tapir
35. A wrestling ring
36. A tattoo kit which can only create tramp stamps
37. One of 5 parts of a hookah
38. A soft serve ice cream machine
39. An 8 legged chair
40. A comb which turns any hair it brushes into metal wire
41. An endless tape measure
42. Indestructible ribbons that WERE restraining Fenrir the wolf
43. A button that delivers the party to the time they started the adventure, with subtle differences. All character levels and memories remain
44. A rock of purify water
45. A pair of blade edged tower shields (1D12)
46. A paintbrush that paints whatever color the user wants
47. A firetruck
48. A gray alien
49. 10D20 inhalers
50. A hummingbird feeder filled with red bull
51. A jack-in-the-box coffin
52. A fully automatic log firing cannon
53. A crematorium
54. A UPS uniform & a Fed-ex package
55. A slut detector ring
56. A tiny rain cloud nimbus
57. The Doomhammer (1D10 bludgeoning, fire, cold, lightning, & acid [5D10 total])
58. A vorpal T-shirt
59. A vorpal butter knife
60. A housecat sized Tarrasque
61. A potted cactus
62. An alchemist’s field guide
63. A Warhammer wiggle
64. A soap making kit
65. “Crop rotation for dummies”
66. 11D10 exploding porcupines
67. A phase spider with a nervous disposition
68. A magnetized set of plate mail
69. The complete works of Daniel Steel
70. Pink Floyd’s “The wall” on cassette
71. An easy bake oven
72. The world soul
73. A biplane with no fuel
74. A washing machine and dryer
75. A spell tome of the spell “disrobe”
76. An orc loaf sandwich
77. The cursed wig of compulsive hair eating
78. Hon Jodgeman
79. The gerbil of anal burrowing
80. Roll again, what you pull is now dire
81. Roll again, multiply result by 100
82. The Flintstone’s car
83. A dracolich
84. The black knight (lvl 20 fighter)
85. 1D20 javelins of yeet (1D12 piercing)
86. Deafening bass erupts from the bag
87. A pack of condoms
88. Time reverses 5 minutes
89. Shampoo and conditioner
90. An instant railroad
91. Tickets to the nearest circus
92. A gentle souled Balor named Baku
93. 20 kobolds of various types
94. A unicorn horn headband that adds “uni’ to the wearer’s creature types
95. 10D100 X20 mice & rats erupt from every Tree, outhouse, stove, fire place, sewer grate, &from underneath every bed within a 10 mile radius
96. A (10D20) potion of heal, cure poison/disease & remove curse
97. A decanter of “lich’s brew” poison (anything that drinks it is instantly killed, no save)
98. A single grain of rice
99. Every nearby wall becomes covered in bottles of beer
100. A living wheel capable of towing nearly any cart, sled, vehicle or mobile base at high velocity, requiring no rest.

Shackled Slayer
2018-06-19, 01:28 AM
so apparently out of EVERYTHING on the list, the abbreviation of rack-koon, and the name of a certain dog whose name ends in zoo, both trip the language filters. I mean i understand WHY, but that just makes me laugh. and then apparently the word dildo doesn't trip it? crazy!

2018-06-19, 01:16 PM
That list is hilarious. So many wrong things, it's awesome. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. xD

2018-06-19, 02:21 PM
The player then rolls 3D10, preferebly a percentile and a different colored dice. They then read the result as one result being the list, one result being the tens place and the last being the ones place. A ten in the tens place is a single digit number unless the ones place die also rolls ten, which denotes item 100.Or just use these (https://www.gamesquest.co.uk/games/dice/specials-dice-games/dice-d10000-set-of-4-dice-standard-size/) (without the most significant digit).

Anyway, thanks for posting the list. You're not wrong about the fun of coming up with one's own, but it would be a lot of work and some of use like to plageri- I mean, borrow the work of others.

I like that a Wand of Wonder is on the list. I was going to suggest it.