Vampire race I made (Help please)

[foL]

I'm practically fresh out of the womb when it comes to D&D, but I'm already writing my own homebrews.
Well okay then...

Here's the link to my first attempt. v

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1N42fkgBzj11iG28oqI8-jwyFsNmInFD6/view?usp=sharing

The link (spoiler alert it's a vampire) ^

If anyone could give me any sort of feedback, but especially with regards to balance, or recommend other good forums for advice, that would be real swell.

[Gorum]

1. A level 10 fighter has less mass than the amount of blood he can provide. I would solve that by stating the vampire feeds off vitality, of which a higher level character has a higher concentration of. This way, it wouldn't break verisimilitude as easily.


2. Instead of tracking the number of days since the vampire has fed with a combat ability that makes tracking it useless anyway (bonus action: I reset the timer), have the vampire not recover hit dice naturally. To heal hit dice, he must feed on HELPLESS (E.G. Asleep) humanoids, and for each hit die he recovers that way, the target recovers one less (or loses 1).


It will also make for strategic awesomeness: If the Vampire is a tank, other PCs will sacrifice their Hit Dice to heal their tank. Also, expect either way that players WILL carry around blood puppets, captured foes they keep fed and feed on. This, in turn, will make the predator's aspect far more real than "use natural second weapon and ignore the rest".


3. Don't give skill training for free. A better idea would be to allow any vampire to be trained in them, regardless of class / background.


4. Nightmare Dweller: As part of an intimidation check, you may reveal to all observers your vampiric nature. If you do, you have advantage on that Intimidation check. You cannot convince a creature that observed you that you are not a vampire, although you can still intimidate it or convince it into remaining silent, and spells may still affect this memory.


5. Have the language line in the Original Specie's choice, not in both the Vampire's and Original Specie's entries.


6. The spell-like abilities might be too strong. Don't have them all be recovered on a short rest. The way I would make it is:

Innate Spellcasting.​ As a vampire, you have the innate ability to cast spells. You know the prestidigitation cantrip. As you increase in level, you also gain the ability to cast new spells, as shown in the spell table. Each of the spells in the table can be cast once per short long rest and only in Dim Light or darker. When you are at least 4 levels over the minimum level to cast an innate spell, that spell can be cast once per short rest and in daylight. Your spellcasting ability for innate spells is charisma.

[foL]

Thank you so much for your feedback!
I just have a few questions/comments regarding your suggestions.

2. Do you think that being able to use the bite on restrained people is too generous? I'm not sure how common that situation would be in combat.

What I was imagining was that there would be vampires in a lot of Good/Neutral parties that go on grand adventures, and they'd want to keep their vampirism a 'secret'. That's why I specifically said 'creature', rather than humanoid. I really didn't want too make things too difficult for those people.
Also, they'd be less likely to want to use it as a combat ability. ... ?

3. I don't entirely understand what you mean by this. Could you elaborate?

Other than that, I really like what you suggested.

[Blackbando]

3. I don't entirely understand what you mean by this. Could you elaborate?

I believe they're saying that you shouldn't give skill proficencies in the race (something a lot of races already do?) and instead have a trait saying they could replace a skill proficiency they'd normally get (like from background or class) with any of the listed ones there.

My thoughts on that? I dislike that idea. Skill proficiencies are given by a lot of races already, so it wouldn't be much harm to give it.

...Except for here. This race is like, really overpowered. As a base race, it's fine (until Innate Spellcasting, that is) but the subraces are pretty busted. Human, for example, is literally just "variant human but better except with sunlight sensitivity and less freedom in ASI". I think on Detect Balance the human subrace vampire is like, a 40 or something? Comparatively, a more balanced race on the scale is between 25-27. Here's the scale, it might help you with balancing it out, further. (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1vq1kz6PRAbw5LHy6amH-bNb4OuB8DBXL1RsZROt03Sc/edit?usp=sharing)

There's also some small wording errors (a vampiric bite attack? so not a weapon or spell attack?), too. I would point them all out and offer suggestions, but I'm actually about to be ripped away from my laptop for roughly half an hour in just under 5 minutes, so I'm afraid I can't.

[Gorum]

P.S. As I wrote this post, I noticed the Vampiric Bite only targeted willing, incapacitated or restrained targets. You shouldn't need an attack roll against such targets, and it makes little sense as a Full Action. Better have it as a good old off-hand weapon that doesn't require a free hand.


Thank you so much for your feedback!
Don't mention it, I enjoy those threads! Plus, there might be a genius coming in some of those threads that, if his/her interest is kept alive, might end up creating a new and awesome TTRPG from scratch. So I might as well keep creativity alive! (while constrained within' existing rules)

Please: Keep yours!



2. Do you think that being able to use the bite on restrained people is too generous? I'm not sure how common that situation would be in combat.
It's generous, as it basically allows a character to use a life-draining dagger and a shield at the same time. But pair that with the fact it REVEALS that you're a vampire, and suddenly it becomes somewhat costly to use. Which reminds me:

You should stipulate the bite only drains life against non-plant living creatures.
You should add the D&D's staple of weakness to running water. In 5th Ed, it is 10 Acid Damage per turn, if I recall..

Otherwise, it wouldn't be a vampire.



What I was imagining was that there would be vampires in a lot of Good/Neutral parties that go on grand adventures, and they'd want to keep their vampirism a 'secret'. That's why I specifically said 'creature', rather than humanoid. I really didn't want to make things too difficult for those people. Also, they'd be less likely to want to use it as a combat ability. ... ?
You travel weeks at once with a vampire and its IMPROVED darkvision, its spell-like abilities that work only in the dark, its bite attacks, the fact it doesn't eat food, its allergy to running water and strange reaction to the Cleric's Turn Undead will start to be noticed in-character as well. Hiding it to all but the dumbest (or willfully ignorant) party members will be impossible. It is up to the Vampire PC to convince its allies to collaborate with it.

I would suggest Trial by Fire, or a completely undead group. Wights, Lich Husks (Lesser Liches), Skeletal Champions, Ghosts, Ghouls, Dulahans, Wraiths and Mohrgs could all become playable to some extent.



3. I don't entirely understand what you mean by this. Could you elaborate?

I mean that the number of skills PCs are trained in, and the available choices, are dependent upon a combination of class and background. I understand to play the Vampire as you imagine it, being trained in Deception AND EITHER Persuasion, Stealth, Survival or History might seems like a given, but I urge you to re-evaluate.

So here we go.

Ability Score Increase.​ You may choose one: Your Charisma score increases by 2 or your Charisma score increases by 1 and you may increase your Strength, Dexterity or Intelligence by 1.

Age.​ As undead, Vampires do not age, and can live indefinitely.

Alignment.​ As their survival is predicated on the suffering of others, Vampires are almost always evil.

Vampire Weaknesses.​

You are undead.
You can be affected by a Cleric's Channel Divinity: Turn Undead.
You are considered an Undead of your Character level for the Destroy Undead feature.
You can't enter a residence without an invitation from one of the occupants.
If a piercing weapon made of wood is driven into the vampire's heart while the vampire is Incapacitated, the vampire is Paralyzed until the stake is removed.
You take 10 acid damage if you end your turn in running water.
Unless properly dressed (according to the GM), the vampire takes 10 radiant damage when it starts its turn in sunlight.
While in sunlight, it has disadvantage on Attack rolls and Ability Checks.



Unholy Metabolism

If an attack would reduce you below 0hp without killing you outright, you are sent into a coma-like torpor in which you appear completely inanimate.
You do not roll for Death Saving Throws (but can still be made to fail some if attacked while unconscious).
You rise with full hp the next time the sun sets, or 24 hours later, whichever comes first.
You do not regain hit dice naturally, but if you can spend 1 minute uninterrupted with an helpless (Example given: Asleep) creature, you can drain its vitality.
When you do, the creature loses a number of Hit Die chosen by you, and you recover that same number of hit dice.
Draining more than half that creature's maximum Hit Dice AND more than one Hit Die may force it to make a Constitution Saving Throw. DC 13 + 2 per extra Hit Dice, minimum 15. On a failure, and for each margin of 2, the creature gains one Level of Exhaustion*.
A creature cannot be drained of more Hit Dice than double its Maximum Hit Dice minus currently missing hit Dice, and if that amount is reached, it is killed outright.
Creature drained of more Hit Dice than they had to spare and that manage to survive do not wake up at full HP: It is missing HP equal to the average roll of those missing extra Hit Dice. Apply the creature's Constitution Modifier to the roll.
You do not need to eat or sleep.
You still recover all hit points after an extended rest.


* Exhaustion Levels here. (https://roll20.net/compendium/dnd5e/Conditions#content) Note that this means a save failed with a Margin of Failure of 12 (E.G.: 3 on a Save DC 15) kills the target.

Superior Darkvision.​ You have an unparalleled ability to discern your surroundings in darkness. You can see in dim light within 120 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it were dim light. You can’t discern color in darkness, only shades of grey.

Vampiric Bite.​ As a bonus action, you may bite and drain the vitality from a non-plant living creature that is adjacent. Make a vampiric bite (DEX or STR) attack against the target. On a hit, the target takes 1d4 necrotic damage. You regain hit points equal to half the damage dealt, rounded up.

Nightmare Dweller.​ As part of an intimidate check, you can reveal your vampiric nature to creatures within 10 feet of you. If you do, you have Advantage on that check and any other Intimidate Check you make against these creatures. These creatures now know without a doubt that you are unnatural, and creatures who succeed a knowledge check know exactly what you are. These creatures can still be coerced or otherwise convinced to keep your nature secret.

Innate Spellcasting.​ As a vampire, you have the innate ability to cast spells. You know the prestidigitation cantrip. As you increase in level, you also gain the ability to cast new spells, as shown in the spell table. Each of the spells in the table can be cast once per long rest, and only in Dim Light or darker conditions. When you reach 4 levels over the minimum level to cast a spell or more, you can cast that spell once per short rest and are not limited by the light level. Your spellcasting ability for innate spells is charisma and your Caster level is your Character Level -2.

Subrace.​ The blight of vampirism affects members of many mortal races. You must choose one of the following race, to which you belonged before being affected by the curse of vampirism. You gain all abilities related to that race.

IMPORTANT: Nerf the Tabaxi, Half-Elf and Gnome so that they only get +1 extra Ability Score, especially since the base Vampire now allows them to reach a +2 in their favored one.