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View Full Version : Prototype for a new monastic tradition. Feedback welcome.



Gydian
2018-05-07, 04:03 PM
Way of the Broom

Level 3:

The secret Weapon
Your quarter staff magically becomes a broom or mop every morning through a ritual prayer to the mighty bald god Master Clean. When fighting with a quarter staff it always does 1d8 damage.

I clean, it’s what I do
You have the prestidigitation cantrip. You can cast Unseen Servant as a ritual, when you do so it lasts 12 hours. You have advantage on medicine or survival checks when dealing with unclean things. You have advantage of persuasion or deception checks when impersonating or acting as cleaning staff. You always have soap on your person and can make a bucket of soapy water as a bonus action.

Level 6:

I do not fear the dirt the dirt fears me
You can infuse your darts with a cleaning agent adding 1d6 acid damage. Once a turn when you attack with your quarter staff you can inflict acid damage instead of bludgeoning.

The sorcerers Apprentice
Once a day you may cast Tiny Servant as a ritual, when you do the object you cast this on first becomes a broom before becoming the servant and you hear ‘L'apprenti sorcier’ and maybe other people hear it too. You may spend 4 ki to cast it again.

That’s the smell of clean
You have resistance to poison and acid damage. You have advantage on saves to being poisoned.

Level 11:

The martial art of Déjà Fu
You can spend 4 ki to cast disguise self, when you do you transform into a little bald wrinkly smiling man of what ever race you are. While in this form you have advantage on all attack roll against a creature you have not attacked. “Remember rule one” - Terry Pratchett

If you are acting as cleaning staff you can make stealth rolls at advantage.

Level 17:

The mighty force of the cleaning sweep
You may spend 4 ki to produce a huge concussive force that is 30 foot wide, 15 feet on either side, moving forward from you for 40 feet. All creatures must make a strength saving throw or be moved back 10 feet. If the creature hits a surface in that ten feet it takes 1d6 bludgeoning damage. Any creature that was hit by the blast must also make a constitution save or take 2d8 fire 2d8 acid and 2d8 force damage. On a successful save take half damage.

Every room you enter becomes slightly cleaner.

Gydian
2018-05-07, 04:04 PM
I know the resistances become irrelevant at level 10 but I thought it fit thematically.

theshadowcult
2018-05-08, 06:09 AM
I personally dislike silly themed characters. At the same time, i could totally see a monk janitor becoming so skilled at cleaning and monking that they infuse and become his style. Lending those skills to other uses like combat or wordly adventure.


Maybe try and make it seem more practical and down to earth, and it could be something great! :D


EDIT: Also, do not be afraid to make it powerful. It's easier to to bring things down to a proper level then to raise them up to competence.

Lalliman
2018-05-08, 07:32 AM
I'm not sure how closely I should critique this given that it's a joke archetype, but here's my thoughts.


The secret Weapon
Your quarter staff magically becomes a broom or mop every morning through a ritual prayer to the mighty bald god Master Clean. When fighting with a quarter staff it always does 1d8 damage.
The mechanical benefit of this is pretty much moot because there's almost never any reason for a monk to wield a quarterstaff one-handed. And you wouldn't use a broom one-handed either, so I'm not sure what you're going for with that. Also, as written, it actually prevents you from dealing 1d10 damage with your quarterstaff when you reach 17th level.

An alternate idea comes to mind: While wielding your broom or mop, you can use Acrobatics to shove creatures instead of Athletics. I like the idea of wiping your enemies off their feet or off cliffs with your broom.


I do not fear the dirt the dirt fears me
You can infuse your darts with a cleaning agent adding 1d6 acid damage. Once a turn when you attack with your quarter staff you can inflict acid damage instead of bludgeoning.

That’s the smell of clean
You have resistance to poison and acid damage. You have advantage on saves to being poisoned.
Three separate features at one level is pretty cumbersome. You could probably fuse these two into one, given the thematic link.

I'm also confused about The Dirt Fears Me. Why do only darts deal the acid damage? Is there some cleaning implement that looks like a dart? This feature pushes the monk away from the staff and towards the darts pretty strongly.

Suggestion for a different but related feature: "When you attack with your broom and have advantage on the attack roll, you deal 1d6 extra acid damage on hit." The idea being that you sweep them off their feet, then scrub them for extra damage.


The martial art of Déjà Fu
You can spend 4 ki to cast disguise self, when you do you transform into a little bald wrinkly smiling man of what ever race you are. While in this form you have advantage on all attack roll against a creature you have not attacked.
Given that Disguise Self is a 1st level spell, and advantage on one attack at a time isn't that impressive to a monk, this could afford to cost 2 ki points, or 3 if you also use my suggestion for The Dirt Fears Me.

Gydian
2018-05-08, 05:52 PM
Wow. Thank you guys so much for your feed back. I may be to close to this idea but I don’t think of it as a joke archotype. I have thrown jokes in but the will probably come out in the final work up. The idea came about because of a character i played reminding me of the Terry Pratchett character that is the whole point of the level 11 feature. And I will be writing up a seriuse preamble too.

In order of reply’s.

My reading of the martial arts ability in the PHB saves that two handed weapons can not be monk weapons. All the DM’s I have played under insist if I want to het the unarmed strike as a bonus action or flurry of blows than I have to Weald the quarterstaff one handed. That being said the wording should be better so it doesn’t conflict with the martial arts die increase.
Shoving with dex is very cool. I’m going to use that.

One big problem I have always had with monks is that they don’t have good ranged options. I may shoot myself in the foot for never carrying a short bow. The first idea was to give them the acid splash spell and call it a monk attack. I thought about taking a monk wepon thats already ranged and adding acid damage would be simpler. It is not. Adding acid damage die when you have advantage is nice and simple. <- much thanks.

The price on things is the thing I’m most consernd Ill get wrong. Level 11 now costs 3 ki.

Lalliman
2018-05-08, 11:45 PM
My reading of the martial arts ability in the PHB saves that two handed weapons can not be monk weapons. All the DM’s I have played under insist if I want to het the unarmed strike as a bonus action or flurry of blows than I have to Weald the quarterstaff one handed.
Your DMs are incorrect. Martial Arts reads "... monk weapons, which are shortswords and any simple melee weapons that don’t have the two-handed or heavy property." A quarterstaff can be wielded in two hands but doesn't have the two-handed property. So it's not even open to interpretation, a monk can definitely use a quarterstaff two-handed. The same goes for a spear. The only weapon that this caveat excludes is the greatclub.

Besides, how silly would it be to limit the prime staff-wielding class to only using it in one hand, a way that no one in real life ever wields a quarterstaff?


One big problem I have always had with monks is that they don’t have good ranged options. I may shoot myself in the foot for never carrying a short bow. The first idea was to give them the acid splash spell and call it a monk attack. I thought about taking a monk wepon thats already ranged and adding acid damage would be simpler. It is not. Adding acid damage die when you have advantage is nice and simple. <- much thanks.
Giving Acid Splash is not a bad idea. It shouldn't count as an attack because cantrips already scale in power, so you shouldn't be able to use multiple in a turn. But you might say something like "When you use your action to cast Acid Splash, you can still use your bonus action for Martial Arts or Flurry of Blows."

Do note that the lack of good ranged attacks is intentional, due to the fact that the monk is the fastest class. Adding a good ranged attack may encourage kiting.
Edit: This won't be a huge deal with acid splash because its range is only 60 feet.


The price on things is the thing I’m most consernd Ill get wrong. Level 11 now costs 3 ki.
For future reference, it's reasonable to assume that a spell should cost ki points equal to its spell level. This is consistent with the Way of Shadow spells. Most of the Four Element spells cost 1 more than that, but those are universally considered too expensive.

Gydian
2018-05-09, 01:32 PM
Way of the Broom

The way of the broom is a secret way. Those who are not familiar with the way scoff and call it a silly myth. Those who know the names of great monks that have made a lasting impression on history may know which of them were of the broom, but probably not. In the great halls the dwarves built a sweeper is needed. In the great castles that kings rule a sweeper is needed. In the ancient halls of arcane education a sweeper is needed. Where ever there is dust a sweeper is welcome.
He may have been an acolyte in a temple of great monks or an acolyte in a temple of mediocre monks. He may have been curious about who does the sweeping or he may have been sent to them as a punishment. He may have been an apprentice to a great sorcerer hoping to learn fantastic spells, but that sort of magic is not taught so he just did the sweeping up. He may be the the son of a sweeper and followed in the family tradition.
How ever the training starts there is always a point where the flow of cleaning becomes cleaning of the soul. When the act of cleaning becomes so precise that no energy is required one may unlock the the path and the way of the broom.

Level 3:
The secret Weapon
Your quarter staff magically becomes a broom or mop every morning through a ritual prayer to the mighty bald god Master Clean. When fighting with a quarter staff it deals 1d8 damage. This damage goes up as you level, 1d10 at 11th, 1d12 at 17th. While wielding a quarterstaff you can use acrobatics instead of athletics to shove or sweep your enemies off their feet.
I clean, it’s what I do
You have the prestidigitation cantrip. You can cast Unseen Servant as a ritual, when you do so it lasts 12 hours. You have advantage on medicine or survival checks when dealing with unclean things. You have advantage of persuasion or deception checks when impersonating or acting as cleaning staff. You always have soap on your person and can make a bucket of soapy water as a bonus action.

Level 6:
That’s the smell of clean
When you attack with a monk weapon and have advantage on an attack roll, you deal an extra 1d6 acid damage on a hit.
I do not fear the dirt the dirt fears me
You have resistance to poison and acid damage. You have advantage on saves to being poisoned.
The sorcerers Apprentice
Once a day you may cast Tiny Servant as a ritual, when you do the object you cast this on first becomes a broom before becoming the servant and you hear ‘L'apprenti sorcier’ and maybe other people hear it too. You may spend 4 ki to cast it again.

Level 11:
The martial art of Déjà Fu
You can spend 3 ki to cast disguise self, when you do you transform into a little bald wrinkly smiling man of what ever race you are. While in this form you have advantage on all attack rolls against a creature you have not attacked. “Remember rule one” - Terry Pratchett
If you are acting as cleaning staff you can make stealth rolls at advantage.

Level 17:
The mighty force of the cleaning sweep
You may spend 4 ki to produce a huge concussive force that is 30 foot wide, 15 feet on either side, moving forward from you for 40 feet. All creatures must make a strength saving throw or be moved back 10 feet. If the creature hits a surface in that ten feet it takes 1d6 bludgeoning damage. Any creature that was hit by the blast must also make a constitution save or take 2d8 fire 2d8 acid and 2d8 force damage. On a successful save take half damage.
Every room you enter becomes slightly cleaner.

theshadowcult
2018-05-09, 04:35 PM
ok, some mechanical criticisms this time.

I would not have a damage change in there, and not have your staff magically change but instead say, any broom, rake or other long handle cleaning implement (i would even go as far as just long handled tool in general) counts as a quaterstaff for you. At level 6 your ki extends to your quaterstaff and it becomes an extension of yourself, becoming magical for the purpose of overcoming resistance and immunity to non-magical attacks and damage.

At level 11, it should be attack rolls against a creature you have not attacked this round. encouraging the monk to keep moving around and hitting everything. Maybe even change the acid damage buff to also apply to enemies you have not already hit as well, instead of with advantage. If you made this change, i would allow the acid damage to equal the monk unarmed damage.

Also maybe make disguise self only 2 ki. the warlock gets it for free, and any spell caster can do it all day. 1 point wouldnt change much in combat, but it would make doing it outside combat more appealing.




With these changes, i'd allow it in my games. It seems interesting.

Gydian
2018-05-09, 09:50 PM
I moved the acid resistance from level 6 to level 11.
The constant feedback I have been getting is that level 11 is to week. Making it advantage on new enemies THIS ROUND is awesome. That is great.
I did add the counts as magical. I forgot to put it in this draft. Magic broom of death should obvious.

So do you think that that 1d10 at level 11 and increasing so forth is to powerful?

Gydian
2018-05-09, 10:09 PM
Level 11:
The martial art of Déjà Fu
You can spend 3 ki to cast disguise self, when you do you transform into a little bald wrinkly smiling man of indeterminate race. While in this form you have advantage on all attack rolls against a creature you have not attacked this round and gain the benefits of the disengage action. “Remember rule one” - Terry Pratchett
I do not fear the dirt the dirt fears me
You have resistance to poison and acid damage. You have advantage on saves to being poisoned.
If you are acting as cleaning staff you can make stealth rolls at advantage.

theshadowcult
2018-05-11, 08:23 AM
I think moving the acid resist to lvl 11 doesnt solve that problem, you should revert the resist back to 6th, and think of another extra benefit for lvl

Also, advantage on saves to poison at lvl 11 is pointless as the monk is immune to poison at lvl 10 with Purity of Body