A Loveletter to DMing

[KOLE]

Hey everyone!

I posted a thread a few weeks back asking for some beginner DM advice and received some solid tips, and my main question was answered promptly and clearly. We are now two sessions in (meeting Bimonthly because of busy schedules) and I just wanted to say... Wow!

I had no idea what to expect from being a DM. I was really nervous. I wasn't even sure what, or how, to prepare for the first session. I had a pretty clear idea where I wanted to session to go, and had a firm backstory in place for the homebrew world, but wasn't sure what else to other than prepare statblocks for the one encounter I anticipated. The other problem was our group was meeting on Roll20 rather than in person (Our five person group covers three time zones!), and though a great asset, I didn't find it exactly intuitive to pick up. Truth be old, all things considered, the first session was a bit of a mess.

I followed the old advice of "Make the Campaign you'd want to play!"... But the problem is I made a sandbox. And a third of the four person party is very inexperienced in tabletops- one of them had never played at all, and the other two had only played in a VERY strictly railroaded LOTR adaption of 5e, which meant a very low magic setting, which was certainly not the case in my homebrew world.

I learned to improvise VERY quickly. Every plan I had made was instantly unmade. The first hour was supposed to be a very gradual easing-in to the town that would be the main setting of the first few PC levels. It was a Spring Festival where the PCs would happen to bump into each other, meet some interesting people around the realm, and get a taste for some of the factions at play. Then, they were supposed to spend about ten IRL minutes feasting in the King's dining hall, where they would learn about the leadership of the town and how the system of government and military works, before a call of distress would plunge them into a frenetic combat session (with appropriate CR) that would have been fairly forgiving, introducing them to combat.

What actually happened, is within the first ten minutes the Bard (an experienced player who's actually my DM in my other group) attempted to start a riot at the festival. The group never made it to the feasting hall, and the other the inexperienced PCs felt paralyzed by choice as there was awkward pauses where I'd say, "What do you want to do?" and they would sort of reply with, "What CAN we do?"

So, I learned my lesson, and over the next two week in anticipation, wrote up a sort of synopsis of events. Like a choose your own adventure story it branched, and had optional notes for optional events. Getting a feel for how people play, I included notes for some skill check options (our Warlock is very distrustful and uses Insight a lot), and actually poured a lot of heart into a couple of NPCs and wrote long back stories for them.

This last session man, blew me away. Once I removed the paralysis of too many choices and actually gave a structure, everybody lit up and completely RAN with it! All the fears I'd had about DMing inexperienced players completely disappeared. Our Paladin became entranced by my NPCs and took a lot of extra time to get to know them, our Ranger started making a lot of really great and humorous character choices that made them instantly relatable, and stuck in everyone's mind as an enjoyable character. My Warlock made continually sound tactical choices and is really hooked on the story since I introduced some elements that tie her character into the backstory of the campaign itself. Our Bard is enjoying being the group mascot (Kobold) and having fun goofing off and providing comic relief. (He's been stuck as the forever DM for a long time and this is his chance to blow of steam, much to everyone's enjoyment.)

And myself... I'm thrilled with it all. I was nervous about playing characters and using voices, but now I'm really loving playing all these different roles and playing with how they would say things. But the best part is everyone is ENGAGING and relishing every little step. I guess the best part is the way everyone's face lights up. That keeps me going. It's a huge rush, man! DMing is ADDICTIVE. And now when I talk to my friends throughout the week they get so excited about next session and the great moments their character had in the previous one. During combat, our Ranger rolled lucky (and I rolled really poorly) and decimated the bandit ambush, and everybody was cheering him on.

I realize I'm kind of rambling/bragging about my group, but I have a point to all this. I really want to encourage people to try DMing sometime. You may be surprised by just how much fun it can be, I know I was! I was really scared at first because in the first session there was this moment where everyone stared at my blankly during this really awkward pause where I couldn't figure out where to go next. And then this weird thought hit me.

I realized that these people, four of my best friends, were trusting me with their evening. They could have been doing anything else, but they chose to put it in my hands. It was MY responsibility to show them a great time, and give them a story they would all enjoy together. And it was terrifying! But that fear fueled me, and drove me forward, forced me to be better. And from then on I was quick on my feet to keep everybody in the game, to throw their characters some bones, to give them interesting people to talk to, and they really loved it. I lived up to that immense responsibility they placed on me.

And the felt... Really, really good. I don't want to let DMing go to my head- and it is EVERYONE'S game and everyone has their roles and responsibilities, but ultimately it's my job to make sure everyone has the best time and the most fun. And when that pays off, when you do it well... Man, there's nothing like it.

If you have been playing DND for a while, understand the rules, and enjoy making worlds and/or telling stories, you have got to try DMing sometime. I can't endorse it enough. Even just thinking about next session make my heart beat a little bit. I haven't felt this excited about something in a long time. And it's really, really, great.

[Laserlight]

I learned to improvise VERY quickly. Every plan I had made was instantly unmade.

You have achieved enlightenment, for now you understand the DM's lot in life.

Learn how to prepare to improvise.
Figure out a few level-appropriate encounters--for example, a gang of toughs--and be prepared to re-fluff them as robbers or highwaymen or City Watch or a noble's bodyguards.
Have a few names pre-selected for taverns, NPCs, and landmarks. You don't need to decide "The Black Dog Inn is at Mill Street and Threadneedle Alley" because your players will invariably decide to go somewhere entirely different; when they start looking for disreputable bar down off Dock Street across from the Red Lantern House, you say "Ah, that would be the Black Dog Inn." Similarly, Malack Oldhammer isn't a divination wizard until the party decides to ignore your plot threads and go look for a wizard.
Have fun!

[DMThac0]

PCs felt paralyzed by choice as there was awkward pauses where I'd say, "What do you want to do?" and they would sort of reply with, "What CAN we do?"

I've been the "forever DM" forever, I think I've played in 1 game in the past 15 years, and I've got close to 30 years of DMing...this bit of your letter is still a mistake of mine.

I put a table of 6 players down and said have fun, then proceeded to watch them all go glass eyed. I thought I'd given them enough to work with, but it seems that everyone needs that fire lit under them at some point in time. Now that you've got them moving forward, slowly start relaxing on the reigns. You'll find they'll be more inclined to tell you what to do next as the game progresses.

Congratulations on your success, good luck on your future endeavors, and welcome to the DMs chair.

[Laserlight]

Most people would rather pick from a limited menu than a blank page.

Also, people generally respond to a stimulus. Don't say ”you're in a tavern, what do you do?”; say ”you're in a tavern, and suddenly there's a scream from upstairs” or ”and a small dragon sticks his head in the window, weaves drunkenly and collapses” or ”and an eight year old girl runs in crying 'help, they're hurting my mama!”

edit: if they're still having trouble, combine these points. "The girl runs in crying for help. Do you grab your sword and run outside, or talk to her to find out what's going on, or look out the window, or do something else?"

And PCs should have campaign goals and motivations, in the form of ”do X in order to get Y”. Rescue the princess so I impress her. Rise in the Zhentarim ranks to benefit my family. Kill the Necromancer to avenge my third cousin's ex-wife' hairdresser's son.

[DMThac0]

Kill the Necromancer to avenge my third cousin's ex-wife' hairdresser's son.

This one works extremely well. If you can tie in your players' backstories (as the OP mentioned) to some of the options on the menu, you'll see choices being made easier/faster.

[NRSASD]

Welcome to that most prestigious and thankless of professions, DMing. Players will never realize quite how much thought and effort went into making that villain's tragic backstory, that subtle accent the queen uses, or the pages long history of that dungeon they cleared by burrowing through the ceiling. Even though our work goes unrecognized, the players will most certainly appreciate the stories we create together; and at the end of the day, it's all worth it.

I don't hang around this forum for the arguments about rules minutia or alignments, but for posts like this. My group has 3 fledgling DMs who are just branching out for the very first time with missions of their own and your post inspired one of them to take the big plunge next session. Thank you!