TeChameleon
2018-06-03, 04:42 PM
Crossposting this from the 5e forum since it's not really a version-specific question;
So, my current campaign is taking a brief (as in one session) side trip; namely, we are going to be rescuing our current characters using... for lack of a better term, 'evolved' versions of our previous, much-higher-levelled characters.
The hiccup? Our current, barely-level-two characters have been captured by Orcus. In full god-mode. And on his home demiplane (yeah, I know he's supposed to have a fortress on the plane of negative energy, but apparently in this homebrew, he has his own private demiplane instead). And. apparently, this version of Orcus is good friends with Tiamat, and Tiamat is hanging out with him.
On the party's side, we have Bahamut and the Raven Queen (whom the party was inadvertently responsible for creating thanks to time-travel shenanigans), a homebrew god of time (formerly our elemental airship's AI, and who I swear is a nascent form of the City of Doors), Ioun (whom the party is semi-deliberately responsible for creating courtesy of the selfsame time-travel shenanigans and an immensely powerful intelligent artifact), all of whom are on good-to-excellent terms with the party, thanks to, y'know, the whole 'bringing them into existence' thing and the friendship that apparently develops over millennia. There's also the party themselves, who are all apparently god-tier courtesy of immortality and four millennia of honing their various crafts.
So, by word-of-DM, the objective is not to kill Orcus (and Tiamat, I guess), but rather to rescue our noob alter-egos (and help them survive the insane deific slapfight that's going to be happening), and we can do pretty much anything... once. Much like a shounen character, once Orcus has been hit by something, he can 'see through the move' and is basically immune to it. Oh- and just dialing up our characters' stats so that they can outmuscle Orcus won't work, because plot, basically.
All this is a long and rambling way to ask the Playground for a hand thinking of unkind, painful, and preferably spectacular things that can be done to a level 35 Orcus by a wizard who has access to all of the spells, an INT/WIS score of 'yes', and a grudge dating back 4000 years, starting when Orcus tried to horribly murder said wizard, and the wizard eventually retaliated by slapping Orcus and his undead horde with... I think it was eight, total... kilometre-high tidal waves in rapid succession, courtesy of the removal of a significant part of the continent and what basically amounts to an infinite magic capacitor.
... which, come to think of, the characters also still have.
Anyways, thus far I've come up with:
- Turning Orcus' eyeballs to FOOF (http://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/2010/02/23/things_i_wont_work_with_dioxygen_difluoride) and/or Chlorine Trifluoride (http://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/2008/02/26/sand_wont_save_you_this_time) (FOOF is wonderful stuff, the list of things which cause it to explode violently including such gems as 'motion', 'contact', and 'absolutely nothing', and Chlorine Trifluoride is such fun that the government-mandated safety procedure for dealing with a spill is 'run away'... and it has the dubious joy of being simultaneously toxic, acidic, and setting very nearly everything it comes into contact with explosively ablaze, with the one exception being the fluorinated rust-equivalent that forms on the surface of certain metals. When your chemical sets asbestos on fire, you know it's good stuff. Or impressively nasty stuff, anyways).
- Portals to fun places (the heart of the sun, a black hole, the positive energy plane, the demi-elemental plane of sovereign glue)
- Using Wish to subvert Orcus' summonings/forcing Orcus to gate in things that will be severely pissed off with him
- Turning Orcus (briefly) into a frog
- Making Orcus think that he is a frog
- Fusing plasma condensed into a millimetre-thick "death ray" (my wizard started off as a pyromancer and retains a fondness for fire even into deity-ish-ness)
- Overloading Orcus' pain centers
- Overloading Orcus' pleasure centers
- Overloading both pain and pleasure centers simultaneously or else for brief, rapidly-alternating intervals
- Summoning one of Eris' apples (or the nearest approriate equivalent) attached to one of Tiamat's heads
- Telephone-pole-sized tungsten rods accelerated to terminal velocity between two linked portals, then one portal moved in front of Orcus' face (heh. Rod to god rather than from :smalltongue:)
- Using Time-Stop (mostly to prevent Orcus or Tiamat from following), then jumping into the past, finding Orcus' past (mortal) self, and polymorphing him into a mouse (or something to that effect), then having cats kill mouse-proto-Orcus repeatedly, resurrecting him each time, until he ends up with an eternal phobia of cats; return horrifically traumatised proto-Orcus to human form, erase his memory of the incident and suppress the phobia with a trigger spell to restore it, (don't want to damage the timestream, after all :smallwink:) return to the present in the moment of timestop, release timestop, cast the trigger spell, and summon as many cats as the DM will let me get away with :smallbiggrin:
- Summon a Gibbering Mouther inside each of his ears
So, can I request further ideas from the Playground? Maybe even some with roughly apropos 5e spells to base them off of?
So, my current campaign is taking a brief (as in one session) side trip; namely, we are going to be rescuing our current characters using... for lack of a better term, 'evolved' versions of our previous, much-higher-levelled characters.
The hiccup? Our current, barely-level-two characters have been captured by Orcus. In full god-mode. And on his home demiplane (yeah, I know he's supposed to have a fortress on the plane of negative energy, but apparently in this homebrew, he has his own private demiplane instead). And. apparently, this version of Orcus is good friends with Tiamat, and Tiamat is hanging out with him.
On the party's side, we have Bahamut and the Raven Queen (whom the party was inadvertently responsible for creating thanks to time-travel shenanigans), a homebrew god of time (formerly our elemental airship's AI, and who I swear is a nascent form of the City of Doors), Ioun (whom the party is semi-deliberately responsible for creating courtesy of the selfsame time-travel shenanigans and an immensely powerful intelligent artifact), all of whom are on good-to-excellent terms with the party, thanks to, y'know, the whole 'bringing them into existence' thing and the friendship that apparently develops over millennia. There's also the party themselves, who are all apparently god-tier courtesy of immortality and four millennia of honing their various crafts.
So, by word-of-DM, the objective is not to kill Orcus (and Tiamat, I guess), but rather to rescue our noob alter-egos (and help them survive the insane deific slapfight that's going to be happening), and we can do pretty much anything... once. Much like a shounen character, once Orcus has been hit by something, he can 'see through the move' and is basically immune to it. Oh- and just dialing up our characters' stats so that they can outmuscle Orcus won't work, because plot, basically.
All this is a long and rambling way to ask the Playground for a hand thinking of unkind, painful, and preferably spectacular things that can be done to a level 35 Orcus by a wizard who has access to all of the spells, an INT/WIS score of 'yes', and a grudge dating back 4000 years, starting when Orcus tried to horribly murder said wizard, and the wizard eventually retaliated by slapping Orcus and his undead horde with... I think it was eight, total... kilometre-high tidal waves in rapid succession, courtesy of the removal of a significant part of the continent and what basically amounts to an infinite magic capacitor.
... which, come to think of, the characters also still have.
Anyways, thus far I've come up with:
- Turning Orcus' eyeballs to FOOF (http://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/2010/02/23/things_i_wont_work_with_dioxygen_difluoride) and/or Chlorine Trifluoride (http://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/2008/02/26/sand_wont_save_you_this_time) (FOOF is wonderful stuff, the list of things which cause it to explode violently including such gems as 'motion', 'contact', and 'absolutely nothing', and Chlorine Trifluoride is such fun that the government-mandated safety procedure for dealing with a spill is 'run away'... and it has the dubious joy of being simultaneously toxic, acidic, and setting very nearly everything it comes into contact with explosively ablaze, with the one exception being the fluorinated rust-equivalent that forms on the surface of certain metals. When your chemical sets asbestos on fire, you know it's good stuff. Or impressively nasty stuff, anyways).
- Portals to fun places (the heart of the sun, a black hole, the positive energy plane, the demi-elemental plane of sovereign glue)
- Using Wish to subvert Orcus' summonings/forcing Orcus to gate in things that will be severely pissed off with him
- Turning Orcus (briefly) into a frog
- Making Orcus think that he is a frog
- Fusing plasma condensed into a millimetre-thick "death ray" (my wizard started off as a pyromancer and retains a fondness for fire even into deity-ish-ness)
- Overloading Orcus' pain centers
- Overloading Orcus' pleasure centers
- Overloading both pain and pleasure centers simultaneously or else for brief, rapidly-alternating intervals
- Summoning one of Eris' apples (or the nearest approriate equivalent) attached to one of Tiamat's heads
- Telephone-pole-sized tungsten rods accelerated to terminal velocity between two linked portals, then one portal moved in front of Orcus' face (heh. Rod to god rather than from :smalltongue:)
- Using Time-Stop (mostly to prevent Orcus or Tiamat from following), then jumping into the past, finding Orcus' past (mortal) self, and polymorphing him into a mouse (or something to that effect), then having cats kill mouse-proto-Orcus repeatedly, resurrecting him each time, until he ends up with an eternal phobia of cats; return horrifically traumatised proto-Orcus to human form, erase his memory of the incident and suppress the phobia with a trigger spell to restore it, (don't want to damage the timestream, after all :smallwink:) return to the present in the moment of timestop, release timestop, cast the trigger spell, and summon as many cats as the DM will let me get away with :smallbiggrin:
- Summon a Gibbering Mouther inside each of his ears
So, can I request further ideas from the Playground? Maybe even some with roughly apropos 5e spells to base them off of?