PDA

View Full Version : D&D 5e/Next Bizarre Homebrew Race: Luminary - Feedback and Criticism Appreciated!



Metalarcher
2018-06-12, 06:22 PM
Below are physical, psychological, social, and statistical descriptions of the race, modeled after the format used in the PHB in conjunction with formats I've seen used elsewhere. This race has gone through quite a few iterations, but I think it's finally ready for more rigorous, external feedback and criticism. I'm well aware it might be in an overpowered state currently, but I really wanted to try to integrate multiple traits that sell the idea of a truly alien player character race, as well as drawbacks that offset the advantages. Ideally, I'd like to keep all of the traits listed in some form or another and simply add more drawbacks to balance the race, rather than cutting content, even if that compromises the concision of it. But regardless of that, any feedback at all is very much appreciated!

Luminary
WITH THEM TRAVELED A MAN IN ARMOR WHOSE EYES BURNED WITH YELLOW FIRE. WITHOUT a word he took a couple of steps to the side and sat on the ground, hanging his head and appearing to meditate. I thought little of it at the time—some strange curse or enchantment or the like; you see them every now and again, ducking through the crowds and trying to blend in as best as they can. But afterwards, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else about him. The subtle differences in the way he moved seemed to belie something much more essential.
—Theodore Cavendish, Liar's Folly

Luminaries are, in essence, spells given will. They are creatures composed entirely of self-sustaining, adaptive magic. In many ways they are like animate constructs or magical sentient objects, but luminaries are unbound by the confines of the material. Luminaries can be created deliberately by the efforts of a magically-skilled individual or other luminary, or accidentally as a result of a particularly unstable spell or freak magical event.

Ethereal Anima
As creatures of pure magic, luminaries are some of the most bizarre humanoids to exist. Despite their strange fundamentals, they behave in ways that are basically similar to most organic creatures. Though they lack any intrinsic mass, they are still pulled upon by gravity, and they manifest a field of force around their bodies that functions much like an organic creature's skin which allows them to wear clothing and manipulate objects. A luminary can alter the permeability of this field to be able to move through solid objects, but doing so causes a luminary to drop everything it is holding and wearing, rendering its fragile magical shell vulnerable and weak.
Stripped of protective armor and clothing, a luminary looks like a humanoid cloud of light surrounding a brighter interior cloud that looks like a minimalistic human skeleton, though this "skeleton" lacks a rib cage and cranium. A luminary's glow is superficial and insufficient to significantly illuminate something more than a few inches away from the body, but nonetheless makes one stand out in a crowd. Luminaries each appear to emit a particular color of light, and though a luminary cannot change the hue of the light it emanates, it can change the intensity of it, making certain areas of the body appear lighter in contrast to the surrounding area. Many luminaries use this ability to visibly emote.
Luminaries have the sensory range of humans, but make no distinction between taste and smell. They are able to perceive with these senses, with the exception of sight, from all points on their bodies. A luminary sees through an invisible, horizontally-oriented, marquise-shaped area on the front of its head. This means of sight grants it a field of vision comparable to a human's.

Unlikely Beginnings
Though luminaries can be created by wizards and other knowledgeable magic-users, they are nonetheless rare. The creation of a luminary is comparable to that of a conventional construct, but few mages know the way and simultaneously see the merit in creating a free-willed creature as opposed to a perfectly obedient one. A luminary can also result of a botched attempt at the creation of a magical servant like animated armor or a helmed horror. Luminaries can even be created through freak magical accidents, during which the chaotic miasma of arcane energy might coalesce in just the right way that one is formed, though this is exceedingly rare given the frequency of such events. In addition, luminaries instinctively know how to produce more of their own kind, though they feel no innate urge to do so.
Whatever the case, a luminary is born with a fully-developed mind, though it knows nothing of the world around it. Willing or merely responsible creators of luminaries find that they are easily taught and attentive to new sources of information, though more unscrupulous types are eager to cast aside their failed attempt at a more obedient servant. Even in this case, or in the case of a luminary that has no creator to look to, luminaries find information wherever they look, and so teach themselves in a fashion over time, even without a mentor to look to. Some have postulated that a luminary's intelligence is too pronounced for the relative ease of synthesizing it, and that it might indeed come from somewhere else, though where that might be none can say for certain.
On the occasion that a luminary is formed through the concerted efforts of a dedicated spellcaster or the random chaos of infinity, they don't linger if they can help it. Luminaries have widely varying personalities, but are all possessed of a free spirit and a yearning for new circumstances to adapt to. This may, in turn, explain why luminaries spend little thought on the creation of new individuals of their own kind; luminaries are always looking for the next thing to add to themselves—to learn, overcome, or adapt to—and spend little time considering producing new individuals for the world.
As expected, luminaries have no societies of their own. Even the name "luminary" is a term that only a select few use to describe them, and others may have their own names for the strange race. Despite their isolation from others of their kind, they are nonetheless eager to learn, adapt, grow, and give their all to whatever they set their sights on.

Interest and Devotion
Luminaries have widely varying personalities, but they tend to come off as oddballs due to their strange arcane minds. Despite this, luminaries tend to have good reasons for the things they do, and meaningful relationships can easily be formed by those willing to put in the effort.
Luminaries are interested by a wide variety of things, and other individuals are no exception. Luminaries typically show a great deal of respect and courtesy to those who fascinate them for whatever reason, and if those individuals are amenable to a luminary's strange behavior, they will undoubtedly develop a friendship that lasts a lifetime.
Luminaries who meet with one another tend to become friends or lovers, since it is so rare for two individuals to meet, and when they do they invariably have a lot to share with one another.

Luminary Names
Luminaries take their names from anywhere they can find them, but they tend to be picky about given ones. One may adopt a name given to it by its creator, but may also discard such a name later on in favor of one it picks itself. Likewise, a luminary that is discovered by intelligent creatures may at first take on the name they call it by, but may later reject the name if it realizes the name is unsavory or unbefitting.

Given Names: Brighteyes, Fireman, Lightwalker, Sunspear, Lightning, Blinder, Starchild, Gleaming One, Darkshine, Sparky, Outsider

Chosen Names: Arc, Windfall, Silence, Blindless, Neverstill, Overcast, Snow, Ideal, Purpose, Constant, Freedom, Summit, Bluestrike

Luminary Traits
Your magical nature manifests itself in these traits, which you share with other luminaries.
Ability Score Increase. Your Intelligence score increases by 2.
Age. Luminaries are born with fully-developed minds and learn quickly. They gain the ability to function normally in society by about four years. They do not die unless killed, and so can be any age, though they are rarely ancient.
Alignment. Luminaries are most often good. They tend to have few selfish desires because they need so little to survive, and so have a tendency to focus on helping others or furthering a selfless cause.
Size. Luminaries tend to be about the same size as humans, but with somewhat more unpredictable heights and builds. Your size is medium.
Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet.
Arcane Psychology. Luminaries necessarily have an innate understanding of magic, which they use to voluntarily regulate their bodily processes. As a result, you have proficiency in Arcana.
Incorporeal Movement. You can move through other creatures and objects as if they were difficult terrain. Anything you are wearing or carrying is dropped when you use this feature. You take 1d10 force damage if you end your turn inside an object.
Exposure Susceptibility. Your temperamental body requires protection from the elements during strenuous activity. While wearing neither clothing nor armor, you are incapacitated. In this state, if you end your turn in the space of clothing or armor that isn't being worn or carried, you may don it on the start of your next turn without expending your action as long as you are still in its space.
Antimagic Susceptibility. You temporarily wink out of existence within the area of an antimagic field. You instantly reappear once the space you occupied is no longer within the area of an antimagic field. If targeted by dispel magic, you must succeed on a Constitution saving throw against the caster's spell save DC or temporarily wink out of existence, reappearing after 1 minute.
Damage Immunities. You are immune to nonmagical acid and nonmagical poison damage.
Condition Immunities. You are immune to nonmagical disease, nonmagical paralysis, and nonmagical poisons.
Ethereal Nature. You have two creature types: humanoid and construct. You can be affected by a game effect if it works on either of your creature types. You don't require air, food, drink, or sleep. You can still benefit from the effects of consumable spells and magic items, such as potions.
Languages. You can speak, read, and write common and a language of your choice.

Ziegander
2018-06-12, 11:39 PM
Very interesting and peculiar! To me it seems a volatile yet delicately balanced curiosity that I would definitely love to test out.

Metalarcher
2018-06-13, 04:51 AM
Glad to see you've taken an interest, Ziegander! I'll be posting a revision of the race soon as per feedback I've gotten elsewhere, so stay tuned!

noob
2018-06-13, 04:56 AM
The antimagic susceptibility is a weird thing:
it prevents the luminaries from adventuring in antimagic zones and so prevents them from following the rest of the party in the giant permanent antimagic zones(even worse if they touch it they wink forever)
anything that splits the party and prevent entirely one party member from going on some adventures no matter what is a bad idea(which is why there is no pc dnd 5E race with written "members of this race can never live out of the sea no matter what happens even if they take a globe full of salt water and travel in it")

Metalarcher
2018-06-13, 10:50 AM
Thanks for the reply, noob (that seems a little harsh to say, even if it is your name...)! Someone else has pointed this out, too, and it's something I'll be changing shortly to make it more of an obstacle to overcome rather than a possible permanent death-state for which there is no saving throw or attack roll. Nevertheless, your feedback is very much appreciated!

JNAProductions
2018-06-13, 12:08 PM
ASI, fine. Makes good Wizards.

Size and Speed, all good.

Arcana proficiency, not bad.

Incorporeal Movement is either mostly useless (lose all your equipment to save 5' of movement by passing through someone), moderately useful (phase through a locked door, unlock it, and come out to grab your equipment), or gobsmackingly overpowered (Monks). I'd recommend this instead:


Incorporeal Movement. Once per short rest, you may phase almost entirely out of reality. Without spending an action, you may move through objects and creatures as if they weren't there and gain resistance to all nonmagical bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage. This lasts until the start of your next turn.

Should you end your turn inside an object, you are shunted out to the nearest spot and take 1d10 force damage.

That way, it's more powerful, but limited. Unlimited features are hard to balance if they aren't something like skill proficiencies.

Exposure Susceptibility combined with your current iteration of Incorporeal Movement actually makes it really, really useless. If you take my revision, though, it's basically just saying "You can't be naked" without any inherent weakness.

It's also a little bland-may I suggest the following?


Pierce The Shell. Luminaries near-always have, beneath their clothes or armor, a protective shell of arcanic force. This prevents their bodies from discorporating, but under times of extreme stress and damage, can be broken. Whenever you drop to 0 HP, you may choose to have your shell be broken. While broken, anyone within 10' of you at the moment of you dropping and subsequently at the start of each of their turns or the first time in a turn they enter the 10' around you, they take Xd6 radiant damage, where X equals your proficiency bonus. If your shell is broken, you have disadvantage on death saving throws.

That way, you can be naked (yay Barbarians and Monks!) and it gives the player a more active choice-if they expect healing soon, they'll probably Pierce The Shell and damage foes, but if they're not, they won't.

Antimagic Susceptibility, as was pointed out, has issues. I'd recommend this:


Antimagic Susceptibility. While in an Antimagic Field, you are treated as having one level exhaustion higher than your actual level. If targeted by Dispel Magic, you must make a Constitution saving throw against the enemy's spell DC. On a failure, you gain one level of exhaustion for one minute.

Damage Immunities I would drop down to resistances. And acid seems out of place here.

Condition Immunities I would get rid of entirely. If you need an explanation for why they can get poisoned or sick, just have some fluff about diseases or poisons interfering with the anima of a Luminary.

Ethereal Nature seems fine-just note that you still need to rest to gain benefits of a long or short rest. You can be somewhat active in that time, not needing sleep, but you still need downtime.

Overall, neat work!

Metalarcher
2018-06-18, 05:13 PM
Thanks so much for your feedback, JNAProductions! You make a lot of good points, and I'll try to respond to them as best as I can.

It's true that incorporeal movement, in its current state, was difficult to balance. Its existence is actually why exposure susceptibility exists at all (and why the trait is so bland—it's a pure drawback designed to offset the ridiculous advantages of uninhibited incorporeal movement). However, I thought it was important to give luminaries an active trait that really differentiates them from other races in terms of their innate ability, hence its unlimited nature. I'm wary of changing it to something limited, because I think it brings them in line too much with existing races, like a tiefling's innate spellcasting or a dragonborn's breath weapon.

I have to say that I disagree that a luminary's incorporeal movement combined with its exposure susceptibility makes the ability completely useless, I just think it makes the use of it very situational, which is how I've balanced it. A luminary can't use the trait in combat without forfeiting its ability to fight, true, but that's how it's designed to work. If a luminary really needs to, it can abandon its equipment and flee the battle to fight another day (or a few minutes later, after it finds some clothes). Aside from that, luminaries can move through walls to scout ahead or activate mechanisms and unlock doors. They can't just open everything from the inside, depending on the way that something is locked and how much space is within, but they do have a degree of freedom outside of combat that few can match. The drawback to this freedom is that the luminary is vulnerable when venturing into uncharted territory, and that's the risk-reward back-and-forth that makes the feature something you can't use willy-nilly, but also something that could be of great assistance. That, in essence, is its limitation—not an artificial one that's placed on it in terms of a hard limit, but a limitation on the situations where it's appropriate.

Of course, I could just be blinded by my attachment to the idea and in practice it might be totally useless or completely overpowered, but to realize either of those outcomes or the outcome in which it is perfectly balanced it pretty much requires that the race simply be put to the grindstone and playtested.

When it comes to being naked, it's true that luminaries can't be without severe debilitating effects, but they can still wear clothing alone and benefit from the unarmored defense traits of barbarian and monk! Unfortunately this does mean you can't show off your well-toned luminary musculature...but then, they don't actually have any muscles. :smallwink:

As for the damage and condition immunities, I'd find it hard to get rid of them in any measure. The potential fluff about nonmagical poisons, diseases, and acid interfering with a luminary's anima just breaks down in my head the moment I consider it, because of the physicality of those things. Poisonous gas isn't much different than dusty air to a luminary, as it's just a different set of chemicals in the air which interact in a specific way with organic matter. Luminaries don't have any matter to begin with, much less organic matter, so it simply isn't possible that they could be affected by it. Diseases affecting a luminary make even less sense. Luminaries don't possess cells for bacteria, viruses, or parasites to interact with to cause symptoms. Not to mention that some symptoms of diseases are impossible for a luminary to react to, like coughing or chills. Even a loss of eyesight is a stretch, as luminaries don't possess eyeballs. Acid doesn't affect luminaries because it relies on matter to corrode to do damage, and luminaries don't possess matter—acid can damage a luminary's equipment, but to its body it's only as harmful as water.

While it would definitely be possible to give the lack of immunities a hand-wave for the sake of balance, I'd much rather add weaknesses to offset the immunities a luminary possesses and not risk compromising the race's alien identity (which is exactly what I've done in my next iteration), even if it means making the race more complex than it already is!

All this is not to say that I just think my decisions are better than your ideas, of course. In fact, the alternatives you've presented me with have spawned quite a few ideas for a kind of "unstable luminary" variant race! Pierce the Shell is a particularly cool trait, and ties in nicely with the idea that luminaries have a lot of advantages and disadvantages woven together to make a balanced race.

Once again, thanks for your ideas! I think I'm making progress, but I'm not sure I'm quite done yet, so I look forward to any input you may provide in the future, too!

Metalarcher
2018-06-18, 05:41 PM
Updated Luminary traits! I'll go over details about the changes below—reasons why I changed what I did, how I did.

Luminary Traits
Your magical nature manifests itself in these traits, which you share with other luminaries.
Ability Score Increase. Your Intelligence score increases by 1.
Age. Luminaries are born with fully-developed minds and learn quickly. They learn to function normally in society by about four years. They do not die unless killed, and so can be any age, though they are rarely ancient.
Alignment. Luminaries are most often good. They generally have few selfish desires since they need so little to survive, and so have a tendency to focus on helping others or furthering a selfless cause. They are also somewhat unpredictable, and they hate to be tied down for reasons outside of their control, so they tend to be mildly chaotic.
Size. Luminaries tend to be about the same size as humans, but with somewhat more unpredictable heights and builds. Your size is medium.
Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet.
Arcane Psychology. Luminaries necessarily have an innate understanding of magic which they use to voluntarily regulate their bodily processes. As a result, you have proficiency in Arcana.
Incorporeal Movement. You can move through other creatures and objects as if they were difficult terrain. Anything you are wearing or carrying is dropped when you use this ability. You take 1d10 force damage if you end your turn inside an object.
Exposure Susceptibility. Your temperamental body requires protection from the elements during strenuous activity. While wearing neither clothing nor armor, you are incapacitated.
Antimagic Susceptibility. You are incapacitated within the area of an antimagic field. If targeted by dispel magic, you must succeed on a Constitution saving throw against the caster's spell save DC or fall unconscious for one minute. At the end of each of your turns, you can make another Constitution saving throw. On a success, you regain consciousness early.
Light Emission. You shed dim light in a 5-foot radius. Completely covering your body with something opaque blocks the light.
Damage Vulnerability. You have vulnerability to force damage.
Damage Immunities. You are immune to nonmagical acid and nonmagical poison damage.
Condition Immunities. You are immune to nonmagical disease and nonmagical poisons.
Ethereal Nature. You don't require air, food, drink, or sleep. You can still benefit from the effects of consumable spells and magic items, such as potions. You must still refrain from strenuous activity during short and long rests in order to gain their benefits.
Languages. You can speak, read, and write common and a language of your choice.


Ability Score Increase. I dropped the Intelligence score increase from a +2 to a +1 after some deliberation. Originally, I had meant to just get rid of it entirely, but then I realized it was thematically important for luminaries to be at least a little bit more intelligent than the baseline.
Alignment. In earlier iterations of the race, luminaries had a tendency towards chaos because of their free-spiritedness, and I'm bringing that back!
Antimagic Susceptibility. This one was quite the balancing act. Thanks to some helpful feedback, I realized that the possibility of encountering a static undispellable antimagic field and just walking into it would make for a pretty unpleasant death-state for the player. One idea was to banish the luminary to the ethereal plane while in the vicinity of an antimagic field or during the duration of dispel magic's effect, but this posed several problems.
First, there would be no accounting for the rare event of an antimagic field on the ethereal plane overlapping the one on the material plane, or for dispel magic being cast on a luminary already in the ethereal plane. I could have explained some complicated contingency for such cases, but it certainly wouldn't have helped the concision of an already-somewhat-overdeveloped race.
Second, the ethereal plane banishment effect of the antimagic field or dispel magic would have caused the luminary to drop whatever it was holding, which is fine, but also whatever it was wearing, which would cause it to be incapacitated (as per Exposure Susceptibility) for the duration of the fight (if applicable) upon reappearing. This could have been solved by making the equipment be transferred to the ethereal plane with the luminary, but it wouldn't make any sense, because a luminary's equipment is not part of it.
Finally, the border ethereal does not connect to all other planes. This means that if a luminary found itself dispelled on an outer plane, it would have nowhere to go, and simply cease to exist for the duration of the spell or forever while within a static, undispellable antimagic field (which is exactly what I've been trying to solve)!
After several attempts, I settled on taking a page out of the animated armor's stat block. The only difference between how a luminary functions is that it can repeat the saving throw on dispel magic. This way, a luminary can't just be taken out of a fight forever due to failing one saving throw or getting caught in an antimagic field. The drawback that comes with being able to fight on is that the luminary stays within the material plane for the duration of either effect, making it vulnerable to attacks. This also makes dispel magic something of an alternate hold person (which doesn't require concentration) against a luminary, and that gives certain spellcasters that option of dealing with them if they lack the spell or suspect that the luminary's Constitution score is lower than its Wisdom score. Forcibly holding a luminary within an antimagic field also becomes possible, since the luminary retains tangibility in this revision of the trait.
Light Emission. This was something I toyed with in a much earlier state of the race, but in a more powerful (and more debilitating, due to stealth) form. In its current form, it doesn't do a great deal to make the race more powerful, but does contribute to the theme of an alien being made of magic.
Damage Vulnerability. Without reducing the luminary's ability score increase to nil, the race was still too powerful to be considered balanced. Instead, I opted to include this vulnerability to force damage. While it's true that force is a rare damage type, it means that certain spellcasters will pose an extreme danger to luminaries, and that in such cases a luminary will have to be extremely cautious. The disintegrate spell could be particularly devastating for a luminary. The rarity of the damage means this won't be totally crippling for a luminary, while still being a kind of silver bullet for those attempting to deal with a troublesome luminary.
Ethereal Nature. Nothing too spectacular here, just added that your short and long rests still last as long as usual, for clarity.


Probably not done with the race just yet—I look forward to any additional feedback to keep smoothing out the kinks!