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BRC
2007-09-13, 04:25 PM
Slave to the Source
"The Sourcebook dosn't say anything about hiding behind a stone wall to avoid an arrow. You take 59 damage."
A Slave to the Source see's the game as a simple collection of situations defined by the rules. He follows every guideline strictly and exactly. Not exactly a bad DM, but it can get annoying as he stops to look up the rules for hitting on the Barmaid, who you will need to make a spot check to see since she is partially hidden behind the bar.

The Bean Counter.
"That will be 2537.3 gold, and will weigh 25.3 pounds, record that exactly."
Most DM's are simply too lazy to keep track of things like how much money that sandwhich you bought at the inn cost, especially if the players are level 18 and scoop up dragon hordes once a week, that is, MOST DM's. The Bean Counter loves exact numbers. Can get annoying

The Railroader A.K.A The Conductor.
"A group of two hundred half-dragon soliders mounted on dominated dire mammoths escorts you to the goblins lair and wait outside, preventing you from going back to town."
The Railroader wants to tell a story, and see's the PC's as unpredictable elements, and he HATES unpredictable elements. There is little point in formulating plans, he's already figured out what your going to do. Just sit back, smile and nod as he monolouges, and rollthe die. It dosn't matter what you roll, he won't let you lose this fight, he needs you alive to finish the story.

The Headhunter
"The goblin cleric glows as he becomes an avatar of his dark diety. it then smites you, fort save, DC 800."
The Headhunter lives for the TPK, he won't hit you with a "Rocks fall, everyone dies", you'll get a chance, it may require nothing but natural 20's with max damage rolls on your part and nothing but ones on his, but its possible. Considers CR to be "Guidelines". If you suspect your DM of being a headhunter look on the back of their screen, chances are you'll find tally marks there, or the tops of shredded character sheets.
Post your own!

Crow
2007-09-13, 04:44 PM
I suggest re-naming "The Railroader" to "The Conductor"

Saph
2007-09-13, 04:45 PM
• The Weenie

DM: "The orc hits you for . . . 17 damage."
Player: "And I only had 2 HP. Welp, guess I'm dead."
DM: "Oh, I meant 12 damage."
Player: "Still dead here."
DM: "Um, then 9 damage. You stabilise and the other orcs leave you and move on."
This DM will not let characters die. The more RP-heavy types will like this to begin with, but as risk-free after risk-free combat goes by, the game quickly becomes boring (though safe for the ego).

• The House-o-Houserules

"Okay, you score a critical hit. Roll on the alternate crit table, then multiply the result by the blow-through damage from your last attack. Meanwhile, the mage's spell is delayed one round. Wait till I get the spell time-initiative modifier listings."
Has so many houserules that no-one else can keep track of them all. He can't keep track of them all either, making each combat round take half an hour as he looks things up. Players eventually give up trying to understand it and just let the DM railroad them.

• The Newbie

(Leafs through the PHB) "Um . . . which page is this on?"
Doesn't know the rules, doesn't know the setting, and has painfully little experience as a DM but lots of enthusiasm. Can be an entertaining learning experience or can go horribly wrong, depending on the group.

- Saph

Rigel Cyrosea
2007-09-13, 04:48 PM
How come you've only got bad types of DMs?

The_Werebear
2007-09-13, 04:48 PM
The Wimp: The DM is either a peoplepleaser or a doormat. Either way, he lets his players do whatever they want. Expect lots of PVP fighting, munchkining, and monty haul style treasure as the players make demands and the DM finds ways to give them exactly what they want.

The Historian: This DM has the history of his world written out millenniums back. It is intricate, complex, and most importantly, incredibly long. Moreover, everything your characters are doing is based on the previous history. Which he probably didn't tell you because he already knows it. It also tends to lead to loudmouth NPCS who will explain hundreds of years of history at a time while the players try to gouge their eardrums out with mechanical pencils.

The Vindictive: DMing is this person's way of repaying every slight ever dealt to him. It can either be targeted specifically at players in the group (You take 15d6 Damage from a falling cow. That'll teach you to eat the last slice of pizza) or at his general annoyance at the world. However, appeasing him can sometimes result in generous gifts to your character.

The Drunken: Not necessarily drunk, but will generally act like it. Expect random things to happen very frequently with little to no explanation as he threads you through a story that makes about as much sense as an impressionist painting on LSD.

The Busy This will most often be a great guy who creates a wonderful story and DM's fairly and justly. However, he will be working, involved with other activities, and hang out with his family and in non gaming contexts as well. The end result: You never get to play more than 4 sessions in the awesome campaign because it ends up getting canceled due to other commitments.

Starsinger
2007-09-13, 04:50 PM
The Lazy DM
ex: See Starsinger
The Lazy DM means well, really he does, but just doesn't have it in him to create an extensive, interesting world. People tend to notice how similar things are to video games, books, movies the DM has played/read/saw that they also have. Sometimes this doesn't hurt, but more creative players have a tendency to get mad at this lack of creativity on the DM's part.

Cryopyre
2007-09-13, 04:52 PM
• The Newbie

(Leafs through the PHB) "Um . . . which page is this on?"
Doesn't know the rules, doesn't know the setting, and has painfully little experience as a DM but lots of enthusiasm. Can be an entertaining learning experience or can go horribly wrong, depending on the group.

- Saph

I fear that's me, sadly, nobody nearby DMs. Okay... one person DOES but he is an absolute ass, not your average ass, he's a super ass. Did I mention he's also racist?

StickMan
2007-09-13, 04:53 PM
The Newbie

(Leafs through the PHB) "Um . . . which page is this on?"
Doesn't know the rules, doesn't know the setting, and has painfully little experience as a DM but lots of enthusiasm. Can be an entertaining learning experience or can go horribly wrong, depending on the group.




The Railroader
"A group of two hundred half-dragon soliders mounted on dominated dire mammoths escorts you to the goblins lair and wait outside, preventing you from going back to town."
The Railroader wants to tell a story, and see's the PC's as unpredictable elements, and he HATES unpredictable elements. There is little point in formulating plans, he's already figured out what your going to do. Just sit back, smile and nod as he monolouges, and rollthe die. It dosn't matter what you roll, he won't let you lose this fight, he needs you alive to finish the story.


My last DM/Good friend was both of these. Very annoying and hard to tell a good friend, that he is both of these things.

Unbalanced Home Brewer
"This new class lets you blow up half the planet" DM
"Cool that will rock" Player 1
"And how is that balanced" Player 2
"..." DM
This DM makes things that break the game for one player, but does not do so for the other players, or even the NPC they fight. One player kills everything and the rest don't do much at all.

starwoof
2007-09-13, 04:54 PM
How come you've only got bad types of DMs?

BECAUSE ALL DMS ARE BAD. KEKEKEKE.
I'm primarily a DM ;)


Mr. Picks Favorites DM
This DM picks a person in his party and gives them anything they need. Need a rule bent? Sure. Need some extra gold? Of course! Usually its a dude who brougth his girlfriend to the game or vice-versa. Sometimes he just likes one person better than everyone else. Sometimes it goes in reverse and he picks one player to feth over the whole session.

Drider
2007-09-13, 05:00 PM
Core Only...4-EVAH!!!
as you enter the room, there are 20 orcish warriors-
player: ARGGH
Will never let you use other supplements, and will make combats boring after 2-3 years of gaming
"How come you've only got bad types of DMs?"
Because it amuses us.

Morty
2007-09-13, 05:05 PM
Descriptor

That's the type of DM that'll always describe everything in detail, including hits, misses and spells cast. It's not bad type of DM, as descriptions are good, but can get annoying at times, especially in long fights.

Lord_Gareth
2007-09-13, 05:18 PM
The Judge
"I'm gonna hold you to that, you know."
Not necessarily a bad DM, but certainly a strict one, the Judge believes in consequences for almost every action. Judges range from RP Judges who want an explanation for every number on your sheet and every class, feat, and skill point you accolate ("Where did he learn that?") to simple rules Judges. Regardless, the Judge is the most likely to enforce class oaths, codes of conduct, alignments, and feat/PrC requirements.

^^ That's me.

Runa
2007-09-13, 05:24 PM
I've got another one, based on last night's game no less, where a former PC took the DMing reins for the first time:

The Drunken Master

OK, so he's not actually drunk. He does, however, appear to make stuff up as he goes along, weaving around with the story bizarrely but entertainingly and somewhat unpredictably. He will also do funny voices.

Thus went last night's game, accompanied by the discovery that not only does Ralph make a MUCH better DM than PC, but that this is the only style of DMing that has actually worked the for the group before (two different people in the group have tried DMing other than Ralph), seeing as that was the first time we've ALL gone home happy. We all got a chance to use our abilities a little, and we all got to do our own little thing when we got back to town (one of the rogues got to sell the giant monster head we brought back, the other rogue - who is, I kid you not a Bard//Rogue Dionysus worshiper - got to do a "dance performance" in the pub and got some money from the local happy drunks, the necromancer "studied the dead" in the cemetery, the ranger went off and cured meat from something we killed earlier, and the other Paladin and I got to advance the plot - and we ALL got XP and/or money for those little adventures, too).

This would probably not work for every group, but for ours, it was AWESOME. :smallbiggrin:

-Runa

Green Bean
2007-09-13, 05:25 PM
Casanova

Railroads the female players at the table into relationships with NPCs that bear an odd resemblance to the DM. Extra points if he RPs really awkward 'romantic' scenes in intimate detail.

Not to be confused with:

Desperate

As above, except is willing to railroad the males playing female characters.



Luckily, I've never personally experienced a DM like this, but another guy in my group has.

tannish2
2007-09-13, 05:31 PM
because the good types just arent that fun to talk about. or as scary to realize you just joined a campaign with, or are.

BRC
2007-09-13, 05:36 PM
I'm kind of a headhunter myself actually, but the only thing I GM is Paranoia, where your supposed to be like that.

Fax Celestis
2007-09-13, 05:37 PM
The Merciless
"And next week, you get to face off against Pun-Pun."
This DM throws nigh-impossible situations at his players and does not bend the rules or fudge the dice in their favor, ever. Occasionally, this is a temporary fit of depravity, but in most cases this type of DM is merciless all the time. Players under a Merciless DM are often given strong gear and generous point-buys, stat arrays, or die rolling methods, in a self-conscious effort of the DM to compensate for what he knows is coming to the players.

Crazy_Uncle_Doug
2007-09-13, 05:37 PM
The General
"You face 20 orcs. They are in a modified arc formation that threatens to encircle your party. Archers are placed behind each melee soldier. Their leader commands the archers to aim for the casters, and for the soldiers to keep the melee fighters busy..." The General is a careful strategist and master tactician. He plans battles for the party with precision, and frequently works with the mindset that they will as well. In combat, his NPCs will act as a unit, working together to take down the party in the most effective, efficient way. He doesn't exactly have it out for the party, but he won't always realize the party is less cohesive than his "troops." Frequently, his NPCs will get away should things go poorly, only to return with more troops and better strategy.

The Bag of Tricks
"Behind this door is ... *pauses* an approximately twenty foot by thirty foot room. In side is -- *reaches for Monster Manual, flips through* -- Ogres! Three of them. Also, you notice behind is a captive, the barmaid you were flirting with just the other day is there ..." The Bag of Tricks generally has little set out. His dungeons are made up as he goes along, and rarely mapped out beforehand. He makes up the story and plot as he goes along, and seems unphased when the party goes in a direction other than that laid out. The downside is that there's often an unfinished quality to his adventures, and he's more likely to be crestfallen when NPCs he's actually planned out beforehand managed to get killed. To buy for needed time, just ask him the name of his NPCs. You will gain several minutes as he tries to come up with something.

CockroachTeaParty
2007-09-13, 05:45 PM
The Eberron / FR Master
"Actually, the Gold Dragon is evil, and those undead you destroyed were paragons of justice and good. But it's okay, you can still cast your cleric spells, because the Gods are a lie."
-or-
"How DARE you set up a bunch of everburning torches in the streets of the town! The weave is thrown into disarray, and the town is consumed in a wild magic zone. Portals begins spewing out Balors and Death Slaad, roll initiative."

This DM loves everything about his chosen campaign setting, and knows it like the back of his or her hand. However, woe upon those players that try to do something that doesn't mesh well with the spirit of the setting. Blade Magic doesn't EXIST here. You want to be a binder? HA!
An Eberron Master absolutely hates everything about FR and its players, and vice versa for the FR Master.

Starsinger
2007-09-13, 05:45 PM
The Bag of Tricks
"Behind this door is ... *pauses* an approximately twenty foot by thirty foot room. In side is -- *reaches for Monster Manual, flips through* -- Ogres! Three of them. Also, you notice behind is a captive, the barmaid you were flirting with just the other day is there ..." The Bag of Tricks generally has little set out. His dungeons are made up as he goes along, and rarely mapped out beforehand. He makes up the story and plot as he goes along, and seems unphased when the party goes in a direction other than that laid out. The downside is that there's often an unfinished quality to his adventures, and he's more likely to be crestfallen when NPCs he's actually planned out beforehand managed to get killed. To buy for needed time, just ask him the name of his NPCs. You will gain several minutes as he tries to come up with something.

That's one of my strengths, but I don't usually roll on random table.. I just make it up as I go on.. thankfully I'm kinda good at improv.

Crazy_Uncle_Doug
2007-09-13, 05:49 PM
That's how I run too. On my worse days, I call it: "Pulling an adventure from my ass."

Planning is for suckers.

Starsinger
2007-09-13, 05:50 PM
That's how I run too. On my worse days, I call it: "Pulling an adventure from my ass."

Planning is for suckers.

Pfft.. prepared adventures? No way! With my charisma score, it's all about the spontaneous :smallbiggrin:

Fax Celestis
2007-09-13, 05:52 PM
Pfft.. prepared adventures? No way! With my charisma score, it's all about the spontaneous :smallbiggrin:

Aha! A Sorceror!

Zencao
2007-09-13, 05:53 PM
Someone should start a "Which DM are you?" thread linking this one :D

BRC
2007-09-13, 05:57 PM
I usually go in with some idea of what I'm doing, but at one point I had a railroaded mission and basically had to keep coming up with ways the plans they came up with wouldn't work because it wasn't the one I had planned out for. Ever since then I tend to make up a good deal of the missions on the spot.

Kurald Galain
2007-09-13, 05:59 PM
The genius writer
This DM will write a convoluted end-of-the-world story involving several hidden factions plotting against each other and taking seemingly incomprehensible actions to prevent this. The result is a plot so complex that no player will ever understand it, thus making most of the adventure seem entirely random and arbitrary.

The boyfriend
Related to the doormat, this guy has introduced his girlfriend to roleplaying, and is horrified by the thought of doing something bad to her. Regardless of what happens to the rest of the group, the gf's character won't be hurt or targeted or stolen from, and high priests will teleport in to heal her if she gets as much as a scratch on her.

The decorator
Spends a long time describing the intricate tapestries on the walls of the dungeon room, and the engravings on the ornamental vases standing next to the door, and only when the players doze off does he remember to mention such details as a huge fire-breathing dragon standing in the middle of the room.

The yawn
This DM plays every single NPC in the same way. Regardless of whether it's a regal king, a bloodthirsty berserker, or a sage wizard, they'll all sound similar to Jim the Orc.

Mr. Gore
Describes every fight scene in gory details, including splattering brains, blood and intestines all over the place on any succesful critical hit or death blow. A variation on this DM instead wants to incorporate lots of sex scenes into the story (preferably involving the cute girl player, of course) and describe all of those in fleshy detail.

The convoluted
You find a magical sword, that is +1 to hit, but +2 to damage, except in the hands of a male cleric, in which case it's +3 to damage. In direct sunlight, it's an additional +1 to hit, but inside natural cave complexes it does only half damage, except when it's a saturday, in which case it adds +2d6 to your sneak attack, and +3 to initiative if your character is elven.

BRC
2007-09-13, 06:08 PM
I DMPC.
"Rick Deempiecey steps forwards and kills the dragon with minimum damage."
This DM dosn't neccisarily hate DM'ing, but wouldn't mind playing, so they use a DMPC. Now this in itself isn't normally bad, the problems occur when the DM is making their DMPC and has a realization, they're the DM, now they can make that awsome character they always dreamed about! Okay, so he'll start a few levels higher then the party, but thats no big deal, and ooh thats a nice weapon in the book, I'll give him that, you know what, that would be great with this PRC, which will need a few more levels in class X and class Y, and then...
The end result of this is an unbeatable mostrosity of a DMPC who is the Kirk to the PC's ensigns, and does everything before the party can blink.

DM Ex Machina
"Suddenly, the dragon suffers a massive heart attack and dies."
This DM makes incrediably difficult adventures and greatly overestimates the capablities of the party until the fight is almost over. However, he dosn't want to get a TPK especially considering how difficult the adventure was in retrospect, so he cheesily tones down the difficulty in an apologetic manner.

Reinboom
2007-09-13, 06:13 PM
Catgirl Murderer
This DM lavishes in the situations that allows them to show off their hard math and science talents, and though not always rewrites a huge portion of the rules to reflect, will commonly throw in a hell of a lot of new rules based on "the obvious" without informing the group and expect us to know these things. Realism can be great - expecting us to be physics professors is not.

Failure Catgirl Murderer
Same as above, but gets the 'calculations' completely wrong and makes some arbitrary rules that make no sense to try to be 'realistic'.

Irreverent Fool
2007-09-13, 06:25 PM
The General
"You face 20 orcs. They are in a modified arc formation that threatens to encircle your party. Archers are placed behind each melee soldier. Their leader commands the archers to aim for the casters, and for the soldiers to keep the melee fighters busy..." The General is a careful strategist and master tactician. He plans battles for the party with precision, and frequently works with the mindset that they will as well. In combat, his NPCs will act as a unit, working together to take down the party in the most effective, efficient way. He doesn't exactly have it out for the party, but he won't always realize the party is less cohesive than his "troops." Frequently, his NPCs will get away should things go poorly, only to return with more troops and better strategy.

I am this kind of DM. My NPCs tend to take at least as much precaution as the players and will 'strike and fade' to harass the party if they need to. Amazing what you can do with a couple of guys with tower shields, a couple of guys with bows, precise shot, a narrow hall, and held actions. Of course, the orcs aren't quite as organized as say, the humans. I've gotten compliments from a couple players on how realistic their enemies are, but I frequently worry that my PCs will be caught off-guard by tactics and brutally TPK'd. Hasn't happened yet.

The Librarian
Owns every officially-produced splatbook and alternate campaign-setting ever produced for 3.x as well as most of the third-party ones and has no qualms about using bits from every single one to create a character with abilities from several different sources. Expect to meet a warforged gunmage who specialized in shooting rays of shivering touch out of his revolvers while his fiendish half-shadow dragon monstrous crab familiar the size of a house tears apart the most durable member of your party.

This type of DM will usually let you use any 3.x book you want, as long as he owns it too. He will go berserk if you mention core-only and mentions that there is a better version of that feat in some obscure book from AEG.

Generally prefers DMing to being a PC because most other DMs limit his selection. If he does play, NEVER LET HIM PLAY A FULL SPELLCASTER.

Ralfarius
2007-09-13, 06:30 PM
Dr. Frankenstein
The good doctor loves to develop new creatures, or heavily modify those which already exist. Unfortunately, he has little to no grasp of how to do so in a sensible manner, so all encounters are ridiculously easy or practically impossible due to some oversight in his monster generation.

Mr. Plot-Exposition
This fellow is madly in love with his work. So much so that he has to make his villain's big reveal early on, just to taunt the characters and gloat over their impending doom. In the event that the players seize the moment to take out the villain, he's usually at a loss due to a lack of contingency plan.

horseboy
2007-09-13, 06:39 PM
The Engineer
A mechanical genius, his mind is very meticulous and methodical. Encounters tend to be similar to the Generals, but your turn quite often ends in you getting a physics lesson.
Somewhere in his possession there will be a ball cap that says: Traveler:E=mc2

Edit: Ninja'd by Sweetrein. Still, it's nice to know you're not the only one.

dyslexicfaser
2007-09-13, 06:40 PM
The Merciless
"And next week, you get to face off against Pun-Pun."
This DM throws nigh-impossible situations at his players and does not bend the rules or fudge the dice in their favor, ever. Occasionally, this is a temporary fit of depravity, but in most cases this type of DM is merciless all the time. Players under a Merciless DM are often given strong gear and generous point-buys, stat arrays, or die rolling methods, in a self-conscious effort of the DM to compensate for what he knows is coming to the players.

I just joined a game with a 50-point-buy start.

...

I am now very, very afraid.

Tengu
2007-09-13, 06:45 PM
The Railroader
"A group of two hundred half-dragon soliders mounted on dominated dire mammoths escorts you to the goblins lair and wait outside, preventing you from going back to town."
The Railroader wants to tell a story, and see's the PC's as unpredictable elements, and he HATES unpredictable elements. There is little point in formulating plans, he's already figured out what your going to do. Just sit back, smile and nod as he monolouges, and rollthe die. It dosn't matter what you roll, he won't let you lose this fight, he needs you alive to finish the story.

The genius writer
This DM will write a convoluted end-of-the-world story involving several hidden factions plotting against each other and taking seemingly incomprehensible actions to prevent this. The result is a plot so complex that no player will ever understand it, thus making most of the adventure seem entirely random and arbitrary.


Sometimes I feel like a combination of minor elements of those two.

Leliel
2007-09-13, 06:48 PM
The Free-Style Writer
"As you rescue the barmaid from the ogres, she...(pauses for four minutes) ...screams as her eyes turn red and she proceeds to unleash a unbelivable storm of magic that annihilates the remaining forces. She then returns to normal, blinking haphazardly and says "Wha-what just happened? YEEK!" That scream was her being telekinetically grabbed from behind by a strangely robed mage who wasn't there a second ago. He smiles wickedly and chuckles. "Ha ha, I knew a stressful situation would awaken her powers! The ogres tying her up with magic rope was not part of the plan, but thankfully, I was able to lure these foolish adventurers here with rumors of tresure-which is actually glass baubles and iron pyrite! Though I suppose you need a reward for helping me out...Here, catch!" He throws you a silver insignia and teleports away. DC 20 to identify the insignia."

This guy is the Bag of Tricks, but unlike him, actually uses the randomness of his mind to fuel his creativity, using the things he generates to create a plot, which although only a basic idea at first, but uses the time in between sessions(and somtimes the sessions themselves, if pressed for time) to flesh it out, creating a story arc. Although his "thinking sessions" can be time consuming, they are usually worth the wait, as he creates some nice plots in 15 minutes, and often develops it into a full-fleged campagin arc or ties it into his original one if he has one. Almost always a fan of "ancient conspiracy" or "powerful orginazation" type baddies, as these allow him to create BBEGs who are tied to one another, yet can be generated at will(apart from the campaign villian, who is fully fleshed out and created the instant he finishes the "motif" of the aformetioned oginization).

I tend to be like this when my players are on "side quests", becuse I only focuse on the main arc when creating campagins but I don't want to railroad, so I do this. My players don't mind though.

Fax Celestis
2007-09-13, 06:49 PM
I just joined a game with a 50-point-buy start.

...

I am now very, very afraid.

Yeah, I'd be too.

Even worse is when you see "Roll 5d6, discarding the lowest two dice, eight times, picking the highest six and place where desired." This is when you run screaming.

Archbear
2007-09-13, 06:53 PM
The Librarian
Owns every officially-produced splatbook and alternate campaign-setting ever produced for 3.x as well as most of the third-party ones and has no qualms about using bits from every single one to create a character with abilities from several different sources. Expect to meet a warforged gunmage who specialized in shooting rays of shivering touch out of his revolvers while his fiendish half-shadow dragon monstrous crab familiar the size of a house tears apart the most durable member of your party.

This type of DM will usually let you use any 3.x book you want, as long as he owns it too. He will go berserk if you mention core-only and mentions that there is a better version of that feat in some obscure book from AEG.

Generally prefers DMing to being a PC because most other DMs limit his selection. If he does play, NEVER LET HIM PLAY A FULL SPELLCASTER.

This one I've encountered. Almost to the letter. :smallsmile: To make matters worse, there was at least one more of the same caliber and two others well on their way (no doubt that sort of DM:ing is contagious.) Quite an experience, it was. :smalltongue:

The Storyteller
Will design a full adventure, complete with plot hooks, twists and fully fleshed out NPC:s... But fail to plan for any deviations from the 'plot' by the PC:s, leading to the most extravagant divine interventions, suddenly found or remembered magic items and generally deus ex:y devices. Shares traits with the Genius Writer and the Railroader.

BRC
2007-09-13, 06:58 PM
The "Idea Guy"

The Idea Guy is capable of coming up with a campaign setting of Tolkonian proportians, with great empires, secret societies, powerful magics, three-dimenensional characters, and many intriguing directs it could go depending on the decisions of the players. The backstory is deep and detailed, yet simple enough that when he says a name the players know what kingdom the NPC is from, who their allies are, who their enemies are, and whether or not the party should try to kill them. So with all this great stuff, why do your characters do nothing but clear goblins and the occasional ogre out from randomly placed dungeons that never get mentioned again.

Neon Knight
2007-09-13, 07:01 PM
The Spanish Inquisition

I didn't expect that!

This DM apparently ascribes to the “plot twist”-based narrative. This approach just has the most shocking thing happen in any given scene, irrespective of any previous content/character continuity.

EndgamerAzari
2007-09-13, 07:04 PM
I give you... the worst:

Johnny.

Poor, unimaginative, questionable hygiene. He doesn't actually own any of the books, so while he fleshes out plots between sessions, he has to actually insert the monsters--which are usually inserted on whimsy--when he's using your books. Speaks in a monotone, and slightly above the normal volume for most people. Incredibly boring and uninventive, not to mention badly schooled on the rules. "Whut? Uh... how's that work?" Whines if you kill his favorite NPC villain in one hit, which happens due to his complete lack of knowledge of the PC's abilities.

Ardantis
2007-09-13, 07:05 PM
The Puzzle Master

Presents puzzles to the party that require actual player analysis and memory rather than a character intelligence check and some creativity. The result is that your pen and paper game feels just like a ported console RPG, except without fancy graphics. Also, everything is written down in advance and you have to do exactly the correct sequence of actions to solve anything. If you try to leave the dungeon, you can't find or do anything else that he wasn't prepared for (the "invisible wall" effect.) Also, if you do not specifically mention that you stepped "gingerly" onto the altar, you fall through the trapdoor.

Hack'n'Slash

Doesn't realize that DnD is anything more than a combat engine. Gives you access to weapons and feats galore, including any and all broken and unbalanced "style" feats, and expects that you will build the most efficient killer possible. Does not care if your character can tie his own shoes. Might allow you to trade the ability to tie your shoes for +1 to hit. Runs great one-shot gladiatorial tournaments. Runs crappy campaigns because party members who do not play psychotic barbarians or mercenaries run out of reasons to fight after about two sessions.

BRC
2007-09-13, 07:08 PM
DM for Vendetta

A former player who always failed against the machinations of the former DM, or who's character was always the deadweight compared to his well-built teamates. The guy who multiclasses Cleric and Wizard only to find that now his healing is nothing compared to the damage being delt by the enemies, and his damage is nothing compared to their health. Well now he's back with a sourcebook, often for a game the group has never played before, and he is angry. He's not simply the Merciless who likes to see you squirm, or the Headhunter who is in it for the sport, for him, its personal. He will design situations that go exactly against the specialities of the party, he will only provide equipment that is useless for the PC's, but would be perfect for, say, a multiclassed Cleric/Wizard. The former DM will be a special target, who will get "Randomly" chosen as the target every time somthing particurally nasty, like a rust monster, comes up. Under no circumstances tell them about Paranoia, I cannot emphisize the last point enough.

adanedhel9
2007-09-13, 07:10 PM
The General
[...]


I admit to being this, to some extent. Or maybe I just have really bad players. I've killed too many characters with encounters that should've been trivial (2 3rd-level rogues against a fully-rested, 6-man 8th-level party? How could that go wrong?), and I've caused several TPK's with encounters that should've been a standard challenge. I'm getting better about it, and I think my players are getting better on their end, but I still have to fudge every once in a while to keep the entire party from going down.

Epic Numbers
Player: With our luck, this thing will have 10,000 hit points.
DM: Sounds good to me.
((Actually happened!))
This DM likes big numbers, especially when applied to HP. Often runs high-level and Epic games to help bring about those number. Rarely realizes that high HP isn't all that useful in a BBEG for a high-level party.

The Writer
This DM is basing his campaign on a short story/novel/script he has written (or is planning to write). While this isn't necessarily bad (in fact, it can be a very good thing), this DM has a tendancy to become both a Conductor and a I, DMPC.

Saph
2007-09-13, 07:10 PM
• Stephen King

"As you ride into town, you notice that no people are in sight. Doors are shut, and the buildings look as though they have been deserted for weeks. For a moment you think you see movement behind you, but when you turn nothing is there. From the church at the centre of town you hear what sounds like a little girl laughing. The voice turns into a scream and everything falls silent."
No matter what setting and system this DM says he's playing, it always turns into Ravenloft. Elements of CoC, Japanese horror movies, and other things will be freely mixed in, as long as they're sufficiently creepy. Often allows all sorts of powerful characters, but it doesn't make any difference because there's not a damn thing you can do to the monster anyway.

• Roll Initiative

"OK you approach the town and three giants attack! ROLL INITIATIVE!"
"The ones who are killed by the giants are resurrected and you walk into town when you're attacked by 5 assassins dressed in black! ROLL INITIATIVE!"
"The priests cast remove poison on you and then you go outside and a green dragon attacks! ROLL INITIATIVE!"
Roll Initiative's sessions are kind of like playing Halo or Quake III, only with less variety. Something attacks you and you kill it. Heal and repeat. You could run your character with an AI bot, but the bot would probably get bored.

• Judge Dredd

"The red dragon does 93 damage to Bob and Dave's characters, incinerating them. Sara, Brian, your turn. It looks like it'll only take a few more good hits to kill him, but if you give him another turn, the full attack will finish off at least one of you."
Judge Dredd sends lethal opponents against the PCs, but he plays by the rules; if the PCs outsmart the BBEG or get lucky dice rolls, he won't fudge. If the PCs are dumb or get unlucky dice rolls, he won't fudge those either. Games are exciting and nerve-racking, but with a high chance of TPKs.

- Saph

Crazy_Uncle_Doug
2007-09-13, 07:12 PM
I admit to being this, to some extent. Or maybe I just have really bad players. I've killed too many characters with encounters that should've been trivial (2 3rd-level rogues against a fully-rested, 6-man 8th-level party? How could that go wrong?), and I've caused several TPK's with encounters that should've been a standard challenge. I'm getting better about it, and I think my players are getting better on their end, but I still have to fudge every once in a while to keep the entire party from going down.

Aw, don't take it too hard. I play in a group with one. He frequently forgets his party is easily distracted by shiny things, and doesn't always plan. Still, despite player deaths in battle, we manage to pull through.

The Ferret
"So you open the door to reveal three ogres. Behind them is -- Ooo! You got Monster Manual V? I've not seen that yet! Is it good? I can't wait to use something from that ...
The Ferret is an enthusiastic DM, but easily distracted by shiny things. The adventurers have to wade through several changes of subject, and often have to keep their DM on task. If there's conversation nearby, the Ferret will frequently join in that as well, until the adventure is remembered once more.

horseboy
2007-09-13, 07:16 PM
I admit to being this, to some extent. Or maybe I just have really bad players. I've killed too many characters with encounters that should've been trivial (2 3rd-level rogues against a fully-rested, 6-man 8th-level party? How could that go wrong?), and I've caused several TPK's with encounters that should've been a standard challenge. I'm getting better about it, and I think my players are getting better on their end, but I still have to fudge every once in a while to keep the entire party from going down.

I have that problem to on occasion. Especially with low level characters. It's the main reason that I use modules for the low level stuff. That way I can claim it's not my fault they're dead. :smallwink:

Leliel
2007-09-13, 07:18 PM
The "Idea Guy"

The Idea Guy is capable of coming up with a campaign setting of Tolkonian proportians, with great empires, secret societies, powerful magics, three-dimenensional characters, and many intriguing directs it could go depending on the decisions of the players. The backstory is deep and detailed, yet simple enough that when he says a name the players know what kingdom the NPC is from, who their allies are, who their enemies are, and whether or not the party should try to kill them. So with all this great stuff, why do your characters do nothing but clear goblins and the occasional ogre out from randomly placed dungeons that never get mentioned again.

Sounds like my type of DM.:smallbiggrin:

The Maverick:
"As you approach the town, you see somthing out of the corner of your eye. You naturally look that way, and see a group of flying silver disks approch the town. They hover there for a seccond, then open fire on the town hall with giant green plasma bolts! Its those damn aliens again! ROLL INTIATIVE!!!!"
This guy loves oddball campagins. Weather it be alien invasions in Ebberon, being a good-aligned group of Dark Lords in FR, a musical adventure in Greyhawk, or somthing inbetween, he has done it or would like to do it. Is bad if campagins are perverted. Is good if inventive, makes adventures based around gimmick, and somwhat humorous(Honestly, what isn't funny playing a group of undead who protect the living from demons from another dimention?) I tend to be the latter.

Ivius
2007-09-13, 08:30 PM
The Maverick:
"As you approach the town, you see somthing out of the corner of your eye. You naturally look that way, and see a group of flying silver disks approch the town. They hover there for a seccond, then open fire on the town hall with giant green plasma bolts! Its those damn aliens again! ROLL INTIATIVE!!!!"
This guy loves oddball campagins. Weather it be alien invasions in Ebberon, being a good-aligned group of Dark Lords in FR, a musical adventure in Greyhawk, or somthing inbetween, he has done it or would like to do it. Is bad if campagins are perverted. Is good if inventive, makes adventures based around gimmick, and somwhat humorous(Honestly, what isn't funny playing a group of undead who protect the living from demons from another dimention?) I tend to be the latter.

I once ran Tomb of Horrors upside down.

horseboy
2007-09-13, 09:22 PM
I once ran Tomb of Horrors upside down.

How could you see the top of the table?

Ivius
2007-09-13, 09:35 PM
How could you see the top of the table?

It was PbP, so we just flipped over our monitors.

Daze
2007-09-13, 09:55 PM
The Luddite

Still plays a mixture of 2nd edition and the old Rules Cyclopedia because he cant be bothered to spend hundreds of dollars on new books or rewrite his carefully thought out campaign world.
Also just likes saying the word THACO....


;)

BRC
2007-09-13, 09:57 PM
The Marx
Kind of like The Railroader, only instead of forcing the players to follow his pre-set plan, he assumes they will read his mind and follow it. Gets very worried when players start straying from his pre-set path.

Nerd-o-rama
2007-09-13, 10:11 PM
I once ran Tomb of Horrors upside down.

How could you see the top of the table?

It was PbP, so we just flipped over our monitors.

You guys mind if I sig all three of these? That was perfect.

doliemaster
2007-09-13, 11:04 PM
The Historian: This DM has the history of his world written out millenniums back. It is intricate, complex, and most importantly, incredibly long. Moreover, everything your characters are doing is based on the previous history. Which he probably didn't tell you because he already knows it. It also tends to lead to loudmouth NPCS who will explain hundreds of years of history at a time while the players try to gouge their eardrums out with mechanical pencils.

Me, to an incrediable level........seriously novels coulde be filled with a worlds history if I get exicted about it.

Thistle
2007-09-13, 11:14 PM
Campaign under glass

This DM has created a setting rich with history, full of flavor, lots of interesting NPCs with personality and backstory. However, they don't generally present hooks to players, try to guide them in anyway, and sometimes don't even let the players interact with the world except to admire the setting.

horseboy
2007-09-13, 11:39 PM
You guys mind if I sig all three of these? That was perfect.

I don't mind.

Dausuul
2007-09-13, 11:51 PM
The General
"You face 20 orcs. They are in a modified arc formation that threatens to encircle your party. Archers are placed behind each melee soldier. Their leader commands the archers to aim for the casters, and for the soldiers to keep the melee fighters busy..." The General is a careful strategist and master tactician. He plans battles for the party with precision, and frequently works with the mindset that they will as well. In combat, his NPCs will act as a unit, working together to take down the party in the most effective, efficient way. He doesn't exactly have it out for the party, but he won't always realize the party is less cohesive than his "troops." Frequently, his NPCs will get away should things go poorly, only to return with more troops and better strategy.

The Bag of Tricks
"Behind this door is ... *pauses* an approximately twenty foot by thirty foot room. In side is -- *reaches for Monster Manual, flips through* -- Ogres! Three of them. Also, you notice behind is a captive, the barmaid you were flirting with just the other day is there ..." The Bag of Tricks generally has little set out. His dungeons are made up as he goes along, and rarely mapped out beforehand. He makes up the story and plot as he goes along, and seems unphased when the party goes in a direction other than that laid out. The downside is that there's often an unfinished quality to his adventures, and he's more likely to be crestfallen when NPCs he's actually planned out beforehand managed to get killed. To buy for needed time, just ask him the name of his NPCs. You will gain several minutes as he tries to come up with something.

The first one is sometimes me. The last one is always me.

clockwork warrior
2007-09-14, 12:32 AM
the over-ego
this is the dm that thinks they are better than they really are. before the game, the dm claimed that they were "awesome at improve" and when the game began it was just horribly unplanned, and what was made on the spot was just ridicule's, and despite this flop, still holds to the idea that they are a great and mighty dm


also, the christmas dm
this dm, for some reason or another, loves giving the players gifts. "oh, you just talked to a random npc in town, turns out he is a wizard and enchants your weapon forever yeah!" or some such things. playing with this person is like christmas morning with tons of goodies just waiting to be had, which gets frustrating after a while.

the non commitment dm
this is the dm that would be really, really good, but they just cant commit to a game, whether they think the current one is boring, or they had a super fresh idea and want to play that one instead! they cant play the same game for more than 5(ish) sessions, leaving the players to constantly make new characters (normaly lvl 1) -note, great way to learn to make characters

the cameo dm
the fan boy, if you will. this person will incorperate npcs from the dnd books or something just to have them there, for no real reason.
example: in a game of arcana unearthed (d20 varient) our group randomly finds... DRIZZET (or however you spell his name) which in its self is bad enough, but the setting DOESNT HAVE ELFS AS A RACE. made no sense, but we all had to play along.

Jade_Tarem
2007-09-14, 01:17 AM
Psycho DM:

Check out Lankybugger's thread on the subject if you haven't already.

The Weakest Link: Were he playing with a group of beginners, he would be ok. However, he decided to run an 18th level game and open all content to a group of players that owns all the splatbooks and knows how to use them. Gives up on his campaign when he finds out that not a single one of the players can even be hit by a team of Balors.

The Strongest Link: Were he playing with a group of powergamers, he would be ok. However, he decided to run the Temple of Elemental Evil with his own NPC's and monsters substituted in, and expected all the players to have thier characters twinked out. The players did, in fact, twink out thier characters, but still fall when confronted with the Barbarian/Frenzied Berserker/Champion of Correllian Larethian/Cavalier with x7 to crit multiplier.

Where there's no story, go to gory: All adventures are spurred by combat occuring, frequently at a nonsensical time. Whether you're in a bar, in the bathroom, in a meeting with the king, asleep, or sharing a moment with your significant other, expect 5 orcs and a minor demon to come through the wall at any moment. There's a plot. Kind of. It just needs really random encounters to hold it together.

You can do that?: This one is a cousin of the conductor, but has less control over the group than the conductor does, usually due to the party being at a higher level. Makes careful plans which fall to peices because, as it turns out, the wizard can memorize disintegrate without a spellbook due to spell mastery. Has to literally beg the players not to do certain things.

6 PC's enter, one PC leaves: Gives each PC in the group a conflicting goal concerning the dungeon. Leads to a kind of bizzare standoff once the treasure in the hidden temple has been found, as each PC points a weapon or spell at a different one because they need/want the Gem of Power for different and completely irreconcilable reasons. It's actually quite funny, but seriously, give me the gem or...

Crow
2007-09-14, 04:54 AM
6 PC's enter, one PC leaves: Gives each PC in the group a conflicting goal concerning the dungeon. Leads to a kind of bizzare standoff once the treasure in the hidden temple has been found, as each PC points a weapon or spell at a different one because they need/want the Gem of Power for different and completely irreconcilable reasons. It's actually quite funny, but seriously, give me the gem or...

Um.....Guilty. :D

The Icecream Man: This DM, a close relative to The Conductor, offers many different and interesting plot hooks for the characters to follow, and can sometimes even put together a rich campaign world and believable NPC's. Unbeknownst to the players, every one of the many different plots hooks will have the PC's going to the same pre-determined dungeon (with minor, or no variations). Once discovered, the wiley Icecream Man will morph into a full-fledged Conductor to protect itself and it's dungeon (singular).

Swooper
2007-09-14, 06:13 AM
The $tingy
"What do you mean? You have a masterwork sword, don't you? What do you need magic items for, you ungrateful bastard?"
This is the guy who gives way too little treasure out of fear that it will make the characters too powerful. He also might strip characters of their gear in cases where they get arrested (possibly because they didn't have WBL and so were at a disadvantage against the opposition). Another reason for this quirk might be that he prefers low-magic settings. If he's reasonable, he'll look past damage reductions on CR-appropriate monsters for which you lack the gear to deal with. If he's not... keep a spare charactersheet nearby.

Flawless
2007-09-14, 06:19 AM
The Master Roleplayer:

He knows exactly how to play any sort of character, better than anyone else. All the time. No matter whether it's a PC or an NPC. He knows it all. Whatever you are trying to do, you better be ready for a prolonged debate about whether or not that's what YOUR character would do. MUst of his arguments are petty nitpicking, ridiculus or both.
DM: "So, you're in that great cavern. There are exits in eastern and western direction. What are you going to do?"
Player: "Well, west sounds like a good idea."
DM: "No, it doesn't."
Player: "Why? What's wrong with west?"
DM: "Well, you're a cleric of Lathander, you ought to know that."
Player: "Know what???"
DM: <sigh> "So, Lathander is the god of sunrises, the morning lord, the dawn bringer. Now, in which direction does the sun rise?"
Player: "No idea."
DM: "In the east. So that's where your character would be going."

F.H. Zebedee
2007-09-14, 07:43 AM
I'd say I'm kind of a Freestyle Writer with a little bit of a Christmas DM thing going on. Though I do sometimes get a little sadistic. (Yeah, there's this armor that'll give you insane AC and some SLAs like a ninth level caster. But until you assemble the pieces, it's just mundane. You'll get all the pieces but one within two sessions of hearing about it, but that last one will arrive around 10 sessions later. ;))

Kurald Galain
2007-09-14, 08:09 AM
Pun Pun
Many parts of his adventure are really, really funny - but only to the DM himself, who spends hours entertaining himself with lame attempts at humor. Includes punny monsters, "hilarious" references to movies or TV series, having the same NPC appear everywhere as a stock character, and outrageous accents. There are a handful of DMs that can actually pull this off, but most of them fall flat within ten minutes.
I've actually played in a campaign once where every single NPC was either blatantly obnoxious or totally insane, with the result that you couldn't actually talk to any of them. I suspect the DM thought it was funny. Most of them were also near-omnipotent.

Not the Railroad
Some DMs hate railroading so much that they do the exact opposite, and put the PCs in a large world or city that appears to be devoid of plot unless you know specifically were to look. The result is that the PCs wander around aimlessly and/or set their own agenda. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, I suppose.

Mr. Original
The kind of DM that runs a campaign that is either suspiciously similar to the campaign you ran last semester, including some of the NPCs copied literally, or that makes an epic story about the Fellowship of the Bracelet, where nine characters have to take a bracelet of doom into a volcano to destroy the Dark Lord...

Kung Fu Guy
Similar to the Catgirl Slayer mentioned earlier, except that he bases his ideas of physics and reality on cheesy Hong Kong martial arts films. Which is a setting that's quite fun to play in, of course, except that this guy believes that's how real-world physics work.


6 PC's enter, one PC leaves
Actually I do that a lot, but only when mastering Paranoia.

Curmudgeon
2007-09-14, 12:54 PM
Evil Mastermind

This DM doesn't just pick monsters and throw n identical copies of them at the PCs to make the appropriate CR. Instead all the enemies will have class levels, and each enemy party will be made up of diverse characters with distinct roles. And of course there will be a tactician with high INT to pick the perfect ambush point.

While the Evil Mastermind will always make the CR figures work out precisely, almost every combat ends with one group (either the PCs or the enemies) running away, or a TPK if the players don't realize they're outmatched quickly enough. The enemies will have some strength that fits a PC weakness, or vice versa. The Evil Mastermind is what you get when a min/maxing player becomes DM and pieces together enemy groups consisting of the best archer, best battlefield control caster, best sneak attacker, & c.

Kaelik
2007-09-14, 12:57 PM
Evil Mastermind

This DM doesn't just pick monsters and throw n identical copies of them at the PCs to make the appropriate CR. Instead all the enemies will have class levels, and each enemy party will be made up of diverse characters with distinct roles. And of course there will be a tactician with high INT to pick the perfect ambush point.

While the Evil Mastermind will always make the CR figures work out precisely, almost every combat ends with one group (either the PCs or the enemies) running away, or a TPK if the players don't realize they're outmatched quickly enough. The enemies will have some strength that fits a PC weakness, or vice versa. The Evil Mastermind is what you get when a min/maxing player becomes DM and pieces together enemy groups consisting of the best archer, best battlefield control caster, best sneak attacker, & c.

Hey! Those are hardly the best of anything. Especially because they are usually racially constrained. :smallfrown:

AKA_Bait
2007-09-14, 01:37 PM
Not the Railroad
Some DMs hate railroading so much that they do the exact opposite, and put the PCs in a large world or city that appears to be devoid of plot unless you know specifically were to look. The result is that the PCs wander around aimlessly and/or set their own agenda. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, I suppose.


Yep. That's me.

horseboy
2007-09-14, 02:40 PM
The Ferret
"So you open the door to reveal three ogres. Behind them is -- Ooo! You got Monster Manual V? I've not seen that yet! Is it good? I can't wait to use something from that ...
The Ferret is an enthusiastic DM, but easily distracted by shiny things. The adventurers have to wade through several changes of subject, and often have to keep their DM on task. If there's conversation nearby, the Ferret will frequently join in that as well, until the adventure is remembered once more.

Stay good, Bun Bun, Stay good!

Yeah, that's totally-oh hey, what's that?

Curmudgeon
2007-09-14, 03:26 PM
Hey! Those are hardly the best of anything. Especially because they are usually racially constrained. :smallfrown: Which is why the enemy groups devised by the Evil Mastermind will sometimes turn tail and run, because min/maxing creates weaknesses as well as strengths.

But I don't understand your remark about "racially constrained" enemies. The DM, unlike PCs, can use any races available.

Lord Tataraus
2007-09-14, 03:26 PM
Wow, I'm like four of these. Not Railroad (though that's what my players like), The Bag of Tricks, The Historian and Idea Guy, though I hardly ever do dungeon crawls.

The Sneaky Bastard
He seems like a fine DM as you setup your character and he tells you the gist of the campaign, but then looks at your character sheet and says, "Oh! Didn't I tell you about X houserule? Well you don't have that ability, that item doesn't exist, etc." He even does this in game after your character is completed and that crucial item/ability turns out to be houseruled to be removed or nerfed beyond use.

BRC
2007-09-14, 03:37 PM
The Chessmaster
The more subtle version of the Conductor, rather then simply barring your path to prevent you from straying from his pre-planned plot, he instead manages to make you decide to follow his pre-set path while thinking it was your idea. When outsmarted he may accept that and carry on, or turn into The Merciless, or in extreme cases DM For Vendetta

The Inquisitor
If your DM ever says somthing along the lines of "you didn't say you had your sword drawn." or "You didn't tell me you had paid for the sword" or "When did you say you had tied up the horses? They have run off." Then your DM is proably The Inquisitor. They may be like the Headhunter, DM For Vendetta, maybe he is just trying to be annoying, or maybe he is trying to make the game more detailed. Either way, he works by the logic of "nothing is assumed." If you don't have a perfect alibi he will exploit that. May also be a Bean Counter

Kurald Galain
2007-09-14, 03:47 PM
The Inquisitor


Yep. There's a story floating around the net where at a certain point the DM had the PCs take damage for no apparent reason, and after fifteen minutes of questioning they found out they were taking starvation damage because they hadn't specifically said they had been eating their food for the last few IC days. Go figure.

BRC
2007-09-14, 03:53 PM
Just thought of another one
I, BBEG
Like the I, DMPC only rather then having their dream character work with the party, they work against them. If the BBEG is based heavily off a former character of the DM's who was sub-par but is now overpowered, you may have a combination I, BBEG and DM for Vendetta on your hands.

Fax Celestis
2007-09-14, 03:54 PM
The Final Fantasy Gamer
...do I really need to explain this one?

Lord Iames Osari
2007-09-14, 03:57 PM
The Final Fantasy Gamer
...do I really need to explain this one?

There are people who haven't played the games, you know.

horseboy
2007-09-14, 04:02 PM
The Inquisitor
If your DM ever says somthing along the lines of "you didn't say you had your sword drawn." or "You didn't tell me you had paid for the sword" or "When did you say you had tied up the horses? They have run off." Then your DM is proably The Inquisitor. They may be like the Headhunter, DM For Vendetta, maybe he is just trying to be annoying, or maybe he is trying to make the game more detailed. Either way, he works by the logic of "nothing is assumed." If you don't have a perfect alibi he will exploit that. May also be a Bean Counter

Catgirl Murderer
This DM lavishes in the situations that allows them to show off their hard math and science talents, and though not always rewrites a huge portion of the rules to reflect, will commonly throw in a hell of a lot of new rules based on "the obvious" without informing the group and expect us to know these things. Realism can be great - expecting us to be physics professors is not.
Combine those two and you've got my longest running DM I played under. And people wonder why I'm a paranoid sombitch player.

BRC
2007-09-14, 04:04 PM
Combine those two and you've got my longest running DM I played under. And people wonder why I'm a paranoid sombitch player.
Ouch, that must suck.

horseboy
2007-09-14, 04:11 PM
Ouch, that must suck.
What's really hard is after you've adapted to it, since it does mirror reality, switching to a different style is really hard. I think it's why I have so many problems with D&D.

Azerian Kelimon
2007-09-14, 04:12 PM
The immersive DM:

This DM will have seen at least a little bit of everything, will have played a lil' bit of everything, and will know EXACTLY how to make his players have a certain reaction (ex: will create a tearful story and heroic sacrifice for that NPC who will allow the PC's to kill the BBEG, and will drive the PC's to tears of mourning.), will make his NPC's lifelike, put music appropiate for the ambience, etc. Isn't a bad DM, actually, but if you aren't far, far away from the world, you might have a cardiac arrest when someone approaches you and says BOO!, or you might try to power attack the cat with a teaspoon after a very lifelike battle that got the adrenaline flowing.

PS: NEVER allow them to get their hands on spy games, since you'll become paranoid, and keep 'em away from horror, 'cause you'll suffer that cardiac arrest.

Deepblue706
2007-09-14, 04:24 PM
The Headache

DM: "The orc grins menacingly, as he moves his hand towards his dagger, which is sheathed at his belt."
Player: "I'm rolling initiative! Okay, my first round's action is to cast-"
DM: "Before anything else happens, you realize the orc was actually just grabbing a very large lolipop, which carries a swirling design of great detail. He continues to smile as he enjoys the tasty treat."

This DM stands out because of the fact s/he plays only to screw with you. Generally (and most especially in the very beginning), the game will hold a serious tone and have a highly intriguing atmosphere. Sometimes, an idea will be presented, leading players to believe that a certain NPCs are meant to be fought, others are meant to be allies, and that certain goals are to be met, but this DM is simply having fun with them. While you thought you were hunting down the evil cultists, you instead ended up unwittingly accepting some tea from an old man who slipped you some LSD and you end up spending the next hour fighting hallucinations, but are genuinely convinced it's all really happening, until the DM finally gets bored of the scenario and spills the beans.

But, this was the DM's plan all-along - they're still playing a serious game with you, it's just occasionally things get ridiculous. As you finish going through some rather grim and gritty fights with orcs, you might come across a pond and have a conversation with a magical duck named Pericles who starts to lecture you about economic infrastructure. You might try to anticipate when things'll get silly again, and play along - but it'll only result in disaster, as the NPCs around you will call you a loony and the DM may strike you.

This DM will very often give you rather simple goals, like "Go talk to that guy", who happens to be a five minute walk away, but then throws absurd obstacles in front of you, seemingly from nowhere, just to make you feel as if the world is against you. They may take the form of annoying salesmen, hapless drunkards who challenge you to squatting contests, old men who sound suspiciously like Sean Connery, and villainous, talking octopi. If any of them are pushed around, they reveal their 20 wizard levels and turn you into a newt, and force you into their petting zoo.

Rewards will very often be much less than what you hope for, kind of like that Doug episode where he turned in the wallet to that old lady, who in turn gave him a stick of gum. "Wait, don't you have tons of gold? How do you live in this giant mansion?" you might ask your overly wealthy employer, to which he will respond, "Sorry, I have it all in investments. What, you were expecting more? I could easily hire immigrants to do if for half the pay, bucko."

As soon as you're about to quit, the DM baits you back in with more intrigue, which s/he'll stick to for a while. However, you'll find out that the BBEG is actually NOT a BBEG, but rather a pacifist hexapod death robot who has been fleeing from evil aliens who seek to strip him of his advanced technologies and use it to enslave a nearby asteroid field, which somehow makes sense and is only marginally relevent, until you realize you're on LSD again.

Deepblue706
2007-09-14, 04:33 PM
The Fearmonger

This DM displays a personality that makes you anticipate very fightening, or odd encounters, which leads you to believe a number of things will go wrong at any moment. While not as ridiculous as The Headache, this DM often uses elements of horror, but isn't always very gruesome or "spooky". Instead, he'll cause significant, but often reversable damage every now-and-then which makes the players paranoid of great failure, but still willing to venture onward, whether out of plain enjoyment for the game, or just out of curiosity to see how far they actually make it. He instills the idea of "making it to the end" to be a great thing, while actually delivering very few character deaths.

psychoticbarber
2007-09-14, 04:40 PM
Rewards will very often be much less than what you hope for, kind of like that Doug episode where he turned in the wallet to that old lady, who in turn gave him a stick of gum.

You've just earned my respect by using Doug as an example in a D&D forum.

Indon
2007-09-14, 05:14 PM
The immersive DM:

This DM will have seen at least a little bit of everything, will have played a lil' bit of everything, and will know EXACTLY how to make his players have a certain reaction (ex: will create a tearful story and heroic sacrifice for that NPC who will allow the PC's to kill the BBEG, and will drive the PC's to tears of mourning.), will make his NPC's lifelike, put music appropiate for the ambience, etc. Isn't a bad DM, actually, but if you aren't far, far away from the world, you might have a cardiac arrest when someone approaches you and says BOO!, or you might try to power attack the cat with a teaspoon after a very lifelike battle that got the adrenaline flowing.

PS: NEVER allow them to get their hands on spy games, since you'll become paranoid, and keep 'em away from horror, 'cause you'll suffer that cardiac arrest.

I try to be this guy... but really, I'm mostly the ferret.

Crow
2007-09-14, 05:34 PM
hapless drunkards who challenge you to squatting contests

Hey those aren't drunkards, they're crossfitters (http://www.crossfit.com)!

Kaelik
2007-09-14, 06:08 PM
Which is why the enemy groups devised by the Evil Mastermind will sometimes turn tail and run, because min/maxing creates weaknesses as well as strengths.

But I don't understand your remark about "racially constrained" enemies. The DM, unlike PCs, can use any races available.

My point was that as a Evil Mastermind I have to limit myself to some form of reality. Maybe an Anthropomorphic Bat Druid might be awesome, and I'm not saying that he might not show up at some point, but I can't have him fight Side by Side with the Goliath Barbarian Grappler. Sometimes, I even pick completely useless races like Bugbears and Gnolls. And it takes a lot of work to make a band of gnolls as kickass as a mixed race party of PCs.

Tengu
2007-09-14, 08:20 PM
The Chessmaster
The more subtle version of the Conductor, rather then simply barring your path to prevent you from straying from his pre-planned plot, he instead manages to make you decide to follow his pre-set path while thinking it was your idea. When outsmarted he may accept that and carry on, or turn into The Merciless, or in extreme cases DM For Vendetta


Now that is totally me! Well, more inclined to accept and carry on than turn into a horrible DM.

I actually think this is a good archetype.


The Final Fantasy Gamer
...do I really need to explain this one?

*waves* Hello! I even run FF RPG games.

Kyle
2007-09-15, 12:29 AM
The Manipulator

"You cut down the last of the gaurds, and escort the maiden you've rescued out from the windowless tower that was her prison, into the night and freedom.

Under the light of the full moon, the confusion which see previously seemed to have been suffering from is replaced first by horror, than pain. She pushes you aside with a strenth you'd not expect from her slight frame as she doubles over, clutching at her stomach.

Thick, course hair--almost like fur--begins to sprout from her pale skin, and her expensive gown shreds itself, as her body takes on mass. Her delicate hands turn to claws, and her previously heart shapped face extends into a canine's snout, her maw filled with sharp teeth. Red eyes full of pain and anger stare at you for a moment before she lets loose a blood-curdling howl into the night's still air, and bounds off into the darkness.

From behind you a voice calls out, "What have you done?" The "evil" duke approaches you, leading a company of well armed gaurds. "The clerics assured me we were only days away from curing my niece of her lycanthropy, though now you've ler her loose again. Any blood which results of this atrocity is on your hands now. Gaurds; sieze these people!"

The Manipulator loves to screw with his players. The more eager to do good they are, the more fun he derives from turning them into patsys for some evil plot. Every action has negative consequence, and every attempt to undo the damage only digs them a deeper hole. No one is safe, though paladins are an especially favourite target.

If done poorly, the Manipulator's antics range from just boring, to downright depressing. Skillfully executed though, the Manipulator strings his party along, always giving them hope of coming out on top, occasionally allowing them small victories so that their next failure is all the more entertaining.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-15, 01:20 AM
I seem to have a ghastly connection to many of these, but here's one of mine that's not yet been written-

The Total Bastard
This DM has spent countless hours developing a good story with wonderful characters and properly CR'd encounters for the party to enjoy. Then the party goes and does something completely ridiculous and the DM can't believe what he's hearing but still goes with it, play by play, until I realize that what this PC has done with the last hour of our game time has been to annihilate the town that I'd just finished making so important to the goddamn plot, and now pretty much it's all ruined and I swear to you now I will have my revenge! TPK is too good for you! Prepare to be set back several levels, lose most of your WBL, get no rewards, and suck down ridiculously unbalanced enemies like pixie sticks after school! Do you understand the pain you have caused me now? Do you?! DO YOU, DAMIAN?!?!

BRC
2007-09-15, 01:24 AM
I seem to have a ghastly connection to many of these, but here's one of mine that's not yet been written-

The Total Bastard
This DM has spent countless hours developing a good story with wonderful characters and properly CR'd encounters for the party to enjoy. Then the party goes and does something completely ridiculous and the DM can't believe what he's hearing but still goes with it, play by play, until I realize that what this PC has done with the last hour of our game time has been to annihilate the town that I'd just finished making so important to the goddamn plot, and now pretty much it's all ruined and I swear to you now I will have my revenge! TPK is too good for you! Prepare to be set back several levels, lose most of your WBL, get no rewards, and suck down ridiculously unbalanced enemies like pixie sticks after school! Do you understand the pain you have caused me now? Do you?! DO YOU, DAMIAN?!?!
I think youve undergone a transformation from a semi-Marx to a full blown DM for Vendetta

JaxGaret
2007-09-15, 01:29 AM
• Roll Initiative

"OK you approach the town and three giants attack! ROLL INITIATIVE!"
"The ones who are killed by the giants are resurrected and you walk into town when you're attacked by 5 assassins dressed in black! ROLL INITIATIVE!"
"The priests cast remove poison on you and then you go outside and a green dragon attacks! ROLL INITIATIVE!"
Roll Initiative's sessions are kind of like playing Halo or Quake III, only with less variety. Something attacks you and you kill it. Heal and repeat. You could run your character with an AI bot, but the bot would probably get bored.

This cracked me up something fierce. I literally had tears running down my face I was laughing so hard.

I think it was the ROLL INITIATIVE! that did it :smallsmile:

And the unimaginatively literal descriptions of the enemies attacking. Priceless.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-15, 01:30 AM
This isn't totally campaign long. I lose my fangs at the end of every session, then pick them back up when the wizard decides to shoot rats with fireballs near the highly flammable wooden beams in the basement of the castle that was just about to give them a quest. I just didn't want him hunting rats with fireballs, so I told him "The basement is held up with several wooden beams that appear to be old and highly flammable". The response was "Well then that'll teach the rats a lesson. I cast fireball".

Then I cry a little.

Dairun Cates
2007-09-15, 04:32 AM
Now that is totally me! Well, more inclined to accept and carry on than turn into a horrible DM.

I actually think this is a good archetype.


It's amusing when you do a time traveling campaign and know your players well enough to get them to almost literally shoot themselves in the foot. I did this a lot in our Pet Monster parody campaign.

The following were some of my favorites paradoxes.

1. The players ended up being the ones that shot and wounded a man that attacked them earlier in the campaign.

2. Instead of preventing the near world-ending catastrophe, the players caused it because of a series of "giving the note to the right person at the wrong time". This ended up helping them though since they then became the favored disciples of the God they resurrected.

3. The players picked up a stick that tells them where to go, tried to return it to its owner who had been missing it for months, lost it to the bad guy, got an older version of the stick from the original owner explaining why he didn't have it, and then went back and placed it where they originally found it.

4. One of the pet monsters created one of the other pet monsters and effectively became the created monster's patron deity that it prayed to. It also managed to free itself from a prison in the same act.

5. The players obtained a gym badge before beating the leader because later they would go back in time and fight him. They didn't take the badges because they already had them.

6. One player spent the entire campaign trying to get into a good high school, found out that the villain rigged her test results, went back, cheated, and ended up being the reason she failed in the first place.

7. One player ended up creating the nation he had an obsession with.

8. One player ended up causing destruction to a spaceship because of money in bottles sent to the ship. The money was sent because of a debt, and the debt was the damages to the ship. This also consequently caused everyone else's side quests for this session to happen because of the places the bottles ended up. Ie. They knew where to find the guy because of the bottles sent by another character meant for a different one.

9. One of the player's ended up being the shadowy figure that saved the entire group by complete accident.

The list goes on, but they slapped their heads every time. It was definitely fun.

The Duskblade
2007-09-15, 07:59 AM
The Zelda fan

Everything past the first few levels has a weakness that must be exploited. Boss fights in particular. A boss is unbeatable unless their weakness is used against them. Fortunately The weakness tends to be mind bogglingly obvious. You know that item you found in the exact same dungeon? Turns out that that is the only thing on earth that can make them vulnerable.

This DM also loves his puzzles and easter eggs. These mainly involve: Targets, Blocks, switches, explodable rocks, magnets and items that you found five dungeons ago, that apart from that odd puzzle are completely useless after the dungeon you got it in.

Warning: In case of A Zelda fan DM take ranks in preform: Ocarina/Conductors baton/Howling/Any musical instrument ever mentioned in said campaign. Also: There will be Elves. Lots of them.

MattTheHealer
2007-09-15, 11:29 AM
The Zelda fan

I have one of these, it's....interesting. But the irony is that he killed my cleric, so I made a bard with an ocarina as a joke. Sure enough I learn the 'night-to-day' song and you'll never guess how the group had to defeat a nigh endless army of rats controled by moon rats....

As for myself, I'd have to say I'm the Tactician and Judge Dredd. Not good I know, but the group has learned to look for ways around my infamous archer-laden palisade walls (yes I do leave SOME way around, just need to look). I think I'm also a Free Style Writer out of necessity, since my group is a rather unpredictable bunch.

Lord_Gareth
2007-09-15, 12:44 PM
The Cool Teacher
"Alright, you can give it a shot if you wanna."
One of the best types of DMs to play under, the Cool Teacher has years of experience under his belt and a no-nonsense attitude. He's got the tricks up his sleeve to keep combat interesting and engaging, skills at reasonable homebrew if he allows odd concepts (thank you, Gideon, for the Quicksilver Dancer), and a seemingly psychic capability to turn problem players into not only acceptable, but enjoyable additions to the party. Not afraid to drop the banhammer or pick up a nerf bat, his campaigns tend to be balanced, enjoyable, and even have a cool story.

The problem is, the Cool Teacher doesn't always know when to give up on a hopeless case, and may end up keeping a problem player far too long in order to try and improve them. This can lead to frustration and player/DM confrontation.

^^ That's Gideon, and what I'm trying to become.

Fax Celestis
2007-09-15, 12:47 PM
The Cool Teacher...

...sounds like me to a T.

kjones
2007-09-15, 01:22 PM
What does it make me as a DM if the BBEG for a party of 6 9th level characters was a Wizard 5/Fatespinner 2/IOTSV 7?

Besides a cruel bastard, I mean.

BRC
2007-09-15, 06:20 PM
The Timid
The Timid is a good DM with nice ideas and concepts, however he is afraid to use them too their full for fear of runing the session. He has the brilliant idea to have the entire party shrunk down and depowered and make them fight a large housecat as a dungeon boss. But rather then explore the things they can face because of their new size, he just puts them on a generic dungeon crawl through some ratholes.

Bosh
2007-09-15, 08:43 PM
The CN's Best Friend

"I've made this awesome setting, are you ready to tear it to pieces?"

PaladinBoy
2007-09-15, 09:24 PM
I think I fall into some combination of the Chessmaster and the General types, although hopefully without the tendency to become a really poor DM when they deviate. I also have a dash of Catgirl Murderer due to my tendency to calculate ranges during 3-dimensional combat using the Pythagorean Theorem, and some Eberron Master.

Long Arm of the Law
This DM doesn't want to forbid his players from playing evil characters, but doesn't like it when his players are evil. To compensate, he makes sure that the forces of justice and good give the players the appropriate punishment for their misdeeds. Like sending a 24th level elven archmage against a level 9 druid that destroyed an elven village. What can I say.......he had it coming.

Jade_Tarem
2007-09-19, 01:14 AM
What does it make me as a DM if the BBEG for a party of 6 9th level characters was a Wizard 5/Fatespinner 2/IOTSV 7?

Besides a cruel bastard, I mean.

A DM who deserves to have his players metagame on him. Only because of the IOTSV, though.

dyslexicfaser
2007-09-19, 02:09 AM
...sounds like me to a T.

I heard "...sounds like Mister T."

Which would be mind-bogglingly awesome.

Tengu
2007-09-19, 04:09 AM
The Dark Dungeons Master

If you manage to survive this strict DM's traps, monsters and fiats, at one point he'll start to teach you real magic!

Zincorium
2007-09-19, 04:25 AM
The CN's Best Friend

"I've made this awesome setting, are you ready to tear it to pieces?"

I've had a lot of fun being this on occasion.

If you plan for the players to randomly destroy things, deface the monuments, attempt to sleep with anything vaguely of the opposite sex, and kill any NPC that has a name (and some that don't) you will rarely be dissappointed.

Do an otherwise good job as DM, and neither will your players.

Overlard
2007-09-19, 06:19 AM
The Git

He gives you walk-over encounter after walk-over encounter and you've hit your stride. There's not a thing in this campaign world that could possibly stand up against your party's might and tactical genius. It's a breeze, your start getting cocky...

And then suddenly your full-plated cleric has fallen down a 50ft pit with slick walls into a freezing pit of water - and there's something moving beneath him, your fighter is getting voices in his head ordering him to kill the other party members, your archer-rogue has been blinded, and the only cure is currently in that pit, and your wizard has had a silenced coin sovereign glued somewhere on him by an invisible opponent and someone keeps shooting him with arrows every time he tries to cast a silenced dispel magic. And you still haven't seen any enemies yet...

The Ex-Player
"You kick in the door and enter the room and see the wizard you've been hunting for months. He smiles as he finishes gesturing.

Suddenly, you're choking on fumes as a green gas appears in less than a blink of an eye. You also notice that you're surrounded on all sides by walls of force.

As you try to teleport out, you panic as it fails. It would seem you're somehow dimensionally anchored..."

Often known by their motto: "NPCs can use Time Stop too, y'know."

Black Hand
2007-09-19, 06:39 AM
I've always heard the Railroader/Conductor DM under a different name which he/she was always refferred to as: The Puppetmaster.

AKA_Bait
2007-09-19, 10:13 AM
The Cool Teacher
"Alright, you can give it a shot if you wanna."
One of the best types of DMs to play under, the Cool Teacher has years of experience under his belt and a no-nonsense attitude. He's got the tricks up his sleeve to keep combat interesting and engaging, skills at reasonable homebrew if he allows odd concepts (thank you, Gideon, for the Quicksilver Dancer), and a seemingly psychic capability to turn problem players into not only acceptable, but enjoyable additions to the party. Not afraid to drop the banhammer or pick up a nerf bat, his campaigns tend to be balanced, enjoyable, and even have a cool story.

The problem is, the Cool Teacher doesn't always know when to give up on a hopeless case, and may end up keeping a problem player far too long in order to try and improve them. This can lead to frustration and player/DM confrontation.

That's what I try to be although how sucessful I am at it is up to debate. I certialy have kept problem players around too long in the hope of improving them. This is particularly tricky when, as happens, two players come as a package deal so to speak (good friends/couple), one is cool and the other is a huge problem.

shadowdemon_lord
2007-09-19, 01:58 PM
The Veteran
This guys been RPing longer then you've even known the genre existed. You could swear he started in 3rd grade and never stopped. He builds complex well thought out campaign worlds. He knows his world and NPC's well enough that he can come up with plot consistent actions for them should the PC's do something unexpected. If running a pre made module, his NPC's are more fleshed out then the module even gives guidelines for, let alone what the module specifically tells you to do. He can RP anything and anyone under the sun, and make it believable.

Generally, this DM type is not a fan of the PC's being the most powerful people around. Their will be a fair share of epic NPC's. He might follow the motto "PC's aren't the most powerful people in the world, they're just in the right place at the right time".

Tormsskull
2007-09-19, 02:04 PM
The "PCs are the Chosen Ones" DM

It doesn't matter what campaign you are in with this DM, you and the PCs are the only ones that can possibly solve whatever problem is currently occuring. You might only be level 1, and your NPC contact that gives you missions or quests might be level 9, but your PC group somehow plays an integral and earth-shattering role in solving the problems.

Each character usually ends up having a secret ancestry or divine heritage that makes each of them "the Chosen One".

The "Whaddya do" DM?

When the campaign starts you'll probably get a bit (or a lot) of an intro, know the other PCs in game, and then the DM will say "Whaddya do?" Without any guidance or direction you are left wondering.

The "(Insert name of the DM's WOW Character) Shows Up" DM

This DM includes their World of Warcraft characters into the game, and makes them incredibly powerful. These characters have the powers that they do in WOW, which usually aren't reflected in D&D. Never cross these characters because their Stat Block simply reads: Pwn.

horseboy
2007-09-19, 02:52 PM
He might follow the motto "PC's aren't the most powerful people in the world, they're just in the right place at the right time".

It's amazing how much crap this motto can curb in, during and around a game.

BRC
2007-09-19, 03:01 PM
The "(Insert name of the DM's WOW Character) Shows Up" DM

This DM includes their World of Warcraft characters into the game, and makes them incredibly powerful. These characters have the powers that they do in WOW, which usually aren't reflected in D&D. Never cross these characters because their Stat Block simply reads: Pwn.

An intresting varient of I, DMPC

Tormsskull
2007-09-19, 03:49 PM
An intresting varient of I, DMPC

The main difference, which I didn't specifically delineate, is that the WOW characters show up, look cool doing whatever, and then disappear for a while (or forever).

DMPCs tend to hang around for long periods of time (or permanently)

Laesin
2007-09-19, 06:47 PM
Even worse is when you see "Roll 5d6, discarding the lowest two dice, eight times, picking the highest six and place where desired." This is when you run screaming.

You forgot "discarding ones and twos".

Another

The Destroy the Newbie
"I'm sorry the only way I can bring you into the campaign is if you play this homebrew elf race. They only have Barbarians or Fighters and their Religion forbids the use of magic items or spells, on the other hand you do get SR CL+15 that you can't turn off."
This DM seems to honestly believe that if your first character is gimped beyond all imagining you will appreciate the abilities available in the core rules more in future. By the way with a few minor variations (MR 60%- yes this was in 3rd Ed but the DM was an AD&D veteran and kept a few rules) the quote actually happened to me in my first game.

Leicontis
2007-09-19, 07:13 PM
The One-Hit Wonder
This DM came in with a great idea for the campaign, and the story was interesting and fun. Unfortunately, that plot has pretty much run its course, and the DM is stumped. Now, it's a never-ending series of randomly-generated dungeon crawls, random encounters, and sidequests. While the NPCs you do encounter are probably reasonably well fleshed-out and interesting, and the sidequests may carry echoes of the quality of the original plot, things have never quite gotten back up to their previous level.

Dr. Weasel
2007-09-19, 08:52 PM
The Dark Dungeons Master

If you manage to survive this strict DM's traps, monsters and fiats, at one point he'll start to teach you real magic!

Curse you, Jack Chick! Curse you for telling the world the secret of what level 8 Cleric really means!

healbot42
2007-09-19, 09:47 PM
The Weakest Link: Were he playing with a group of beginners, he would be ok. However, he decided to run an 18th level game and open all content to a group of players that owns all the splatbooks and knows how to use them. Gives up on his campaign when he finds out that not a single one of the players can even be hit by a team of Balors.


They were not Balors. They were Pit Fiends. If you are going to make fun of my horrible DMing make sure to get it right. Although if I remember correctly you never could overcome the big semi-mechanical Tarrasque.

Jade_Tarem
2007-09-19, 09:50 PM
They were not Balors. They were Pit Fiends. If you are going to make fun of my horrible DMing make sure to get it right. Although if I remember correctly you never could overcome the big semi-mechanical Tarrasque.

IIRC, we killed it in 5 rounds. :smallamused: Good to see you on the boards again, though.

Meschaelene
2007-09-19, 10:00 PM
Curse you, Jack Chick! Curse you for telling the world the secret of what level 8 Cleric really means!

It's my fault Black Leaf died. I can't face life alone!

healbot42
2007-09-19, 10:24 PM
IIRC, we killed it in 5 rounds. :smallamused: Good to see you on the boards again, though.

Well I've been lurking, haven't posted much.

I'm a Railroader with a lot of the Bag of Tricks because most of my players ignore my railroading and do the exact opposite of what the easy obvious thing to do would be.

woc33
2007-09-19, 11:06 PM
The "(Insert name of the DM's WOW Character) Shows Up" DM

This DM includes their World of Warcraft characters into the game, and makes them incredibly powerful. These characters have the powers that they do in WOW, which usually aren't reflected in D&D. Never cross these characters because their Stat Block simply reads: Pwn.

The characters usually keep their WoW level too... :smallwink:

logan9a
2007-09-19, 11:58 PM
Very nice thread.

Logan

KazilDarkeye
2007-09-28, 04:22 PM
No-namer

" O.K, up ahead you see a random farm outside of town with a farmer with a nametag. What does the nametag/(interrupts) moving along.

Fairly self-explanatory. Could be the result of laziness, forgetfulness or simply an inability to come up with inventive names/ a subconcious fear that players will laugh at them.

Leliel
2007-09-28, 04:42 PM
It's my fault Black Leaf died. I can't face life alone!

Me, when reading this for the first time: "Emo wimp. She needed psychological help. I'm not sorry she died at all."

Me, after reading that entire track: "People actually buy this!?"

malcolm
2007-09-28, 07:36 PM
Self-Promoter

This DM knows that he's great, and isn't afraid to let the world know. While this elusive creature is rarely seen running his own games, he will appear out of nowhere to let you know that your campaign is stupid and that he is a better DM. The Self-Promoter seldom wanders far from his ancestral habitat; heavily moderated internet forums. If you happen to be unlucky enough to encounter one in real life, there are two surefire methods of escape.

1 - Climb a flight of stairs (cannot be located near elevator/escalator).
2 - Stand perfectly still; this bespectacled predator has poor eyesight and relies on movement to stalk his prey.

Bassetking
2007-09-28, 08:39 PM
Self-Promoter

This DM knows that he's great, and isn't afraid to let the world know. While this elusive creature is rarely seen running his own games, he will appear out of nowhere to let you know that your campaign is stupid and that he is a better DM. The Self-Promoter seldom wanders far from his ancestral habitat; heavily moderated internet forums. If you happen to be unlucky enough to encounter one in real life, there are two surefire methods of escape.

1 - Climb a flight of stairs (cannot be located near elevator/escalator).
2 - Stand perfectly still; this bespectacled predator has poor eyesight and relies on movement to stalk his prey.

3- Carry camouflage. Cover your gaming books with copies of "Auto Trader" and "ESPN Magazine".

4- Carry a distraction. Cheeto Snack Packs were made for this express purpose. Hurl one in the direction of the beast, and run in the opposite direction.

Knight_Of_Twilight
2007-09-28, 09:18 PM
Captain "I had this character.."

This DM had a character that he was obsessed with. So much so, that your current game will feature this character as a Monarch, Teacher, or even Deity. This character will be mentioned constantly, and your party's adventures may actually be emulating his, making you feel like Raiden in Metal Gear Solid 2...

PhallicWarrior
2007-09-28, 09:25 PM
The Blunderer
He's great, every campaign he runs is immensely entertaining... until he goofs up. It could be that he gets overconfident, or maybe he gets flustered by the pressure, but he slips up. He starts forgetting rules or the name of that important NPC, but once it happens, forget about agetting anything done. It's gonna take the rest of the session just to finish this encounter when he's like this.

Guilty, but my players think its them causing the slowdown. It's really both.:smallwink:

Skjaldbakka
2007-09-28, 09:35 PM
The Veteran
This guys been RPing longer then you've even known the genre existed. You could swear he started in 3rd1st grade and never stopped. He builds complex well thought out campaign worlds. He knows his world and NPC's well enough that he can come up with plot consistent actions for them should the PC's do something unexpected. If running a pre made module, his NPC's are more fleshed out then the module even gives guidelines for, let alone what the module specifically tells you to do. He can RP anything and anyone under the sun, and make it believable.

Guilty as charged. My parents were gamers, so I started early. Really, really, early.

Turcano
2007-09-28, 10:52 PM
Me, when reading this for the first time: "Emo wimp. She needed psychological help. I'm not sorry she died at all."

Me, after reading that entire track: "People actually buy this!?"

The really bad part is that people buy them with the intention of foisting them on other people in order to feel better about themselves. Elaboration isn't quite germane to discussion on this board, but that's what it amounts to.

Duke Malagigi
2007-09-29, 12:05 AM
The Cool Teacher
"Alright, you can give it a shot if you wanna."
One of the best types of DMs to play under, the Cool Teacher has years of experience under his belt and a no-nonsense attitude. He's got the tricks up his sleeve to keep combat interesting and engaging, skills at reasonable homebrew if he allows odd concepts (thank you, Gideon, for the Quicksilver Dancer), and a seemingly psychic capability to turn problem players into not only acceptable, but enjoyable additions to the party. Not afraid to drop the banhammer or pick up a nerf bat, his campaigns tend to be balanced, enjoyable, and even have a cool story.

The problem is, the Cool Teacher doesn't always know when to give up on a hopeless case, and may end up keeping a problem player far too long in order to try and improve them. This can lead to frustration and player/DM confrontation.


The CN's Best Friend

"I've made this awesome setting, are you ready to tear it to pieces?"

This reminds me of a DM/GM I had named Randy. Sadly he wasn't at all like this as a player. He played the fighter mentioned in this thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=49541) as well as an incredibly stupid and destructive druid in 2nd edition.

Rogue 7
2007-09-29, 12:38 AM
The Merciless
"And next week, you get to face off against Pun-Pun."
This DM throws nigh-impossible situations at his players and does not bend the rules or fudge the dice in their favor, ever. Occasionally, this is a temporary fit of depravity, but in most cases this type of DM is merciless all the time. Players under a Merciless DM are often given strong gear and generous point-buys, stat arrays, or die rolling methods, in a self-conscious effort of the DM to compensate for what he knows is coming to the players.

My DM claims to be like this. Only just had one session, so too early to tell, but he's mentioned it a lot. He set us up an easy encounter- and our hexblade nearly bit it. Luckily I was nearby (I'm a cleric), and managed to heal him smash the thing. Enlarge person+flaming greatsword+Critical hit= a lot of damage to a big ol' bug. He's definitely into the whole strong gear and generous point buys, but I don't think I'll mind too much. It could be fun.

Memorable moment I feel I've got to share. First night, before our party really forms, the above hexblade's in a bar, looking to pick a fight. He's bored. The DM's going to give him one, so our psychotic halfling, a 10-year old with a grudge against rabbits (IC, not really), throws some darts from a nearby dartboard, hits him, and successfully manages to hide in the ensuing barfight, helped by a random witch who cast a mist spell. Meanwhile I'm sitting in the back, drinking a beer and enjoying the fight. So the halfling leaves and sets up an ambush for the hexblade. He's a scout, so he's got a massive movement rate and a flaming longbow. He shoots the hexblade and deals some damage, then runs around the corner, fails his hide check, and falls on his face. The hexblade just goes home. We decide that he's drunk (He's a 10-year old halfling, he had a glass of wine), and passes out in his room. The next morning, he rolls a hangover check and gets a nat.1. He forgets everything that happened over the previous few days, and now he's on a team with the hexblade who knew that he attacked him the night before, and the halfling can't remember a thing. The DM just went with it, it was good times.

Wraith
2007-11-20, 11:16 AM
While I realise that Thread-Necromancy is a crime against nature (and popular sense), I have also just read the "Types of Player" (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63487) thread and couldn't help but looking up the equivalent as suggested by Leicontis :smallsmile:

That said, I do have an actual contribution based on personal experience that I don't think has been mentioned so far; a variation on The Blunderer that I like to call The Victim.

Victims are not necessarily naive or even newbies - the model for this DM Type who I will call 'Mackintosh' after his most famous character has been RPing for quite a lot more than a decade, and as such doesn't have many excuses for what happens in his games.

To put it bluntly, he runs good games and, though prone to the occasional bout of HeadHunting with some downright frightening monsters, there's ALWAYS something that he forgot that blows the whole thing wide open and he is the only one who hasn't seen it right at the crucial minute.

So far, so much like a Blunder. The Victim, however, is always responsible for his own downfall for a subtle influence that is undone with obvious forethought, and more importantly can ALWAYS be guaranteed to do it without a Player's distraction or from getting overexcited.

A simple example would be building a BBEG with several different classes and realising that, just as the big fight is about to start, for the last 10 sessions he'd let the Players pick the exact feats and skills needed to annihilate his BBEG with minimum effort. But Mackintosh never, ever does things simply.

No matter what game he plays, no matter what he tries to run, there's always something there that lets him down.

Vampire: The Masquerade? Yep.


Mack: "Now, the Brujah-Antitribu Sheriff turns on his experimental government Power-Armour (making him immune to normal ammo and non-powered hand weapons) and readies to fire the minigun in the bunker next to him. What're your actions?"
Player: "I light a flare and toss it towards him. His IR goggles and Clan Weakness triggers Rotshrek (fear of fire) to a massive degree, which means you need to roll 4 10's on 3 dice, or he runs away like a gibbering idiot."
Mack: ".....He's going to die, isn't he?"

Warhammer Fantasy Role-Play? No worries.


Mack: "The Daemon is immune to Critical Hits and non-magical weapons, has a big Toughness bonus and can cast Chaos magic like a Journeyman Wizard. There's nothing you can do to stop him!"
Player: "I cast [the spell that does the least amount of damage on the 'Healer' Wizard chart, which has been cast dozens of times in that session alone]. That ignores your toughness, armour and you have a 30% chance of failing any action it tries to make. Now my friends are going to hold it down as it fails all it's grapple checks while I cast this spell 20 more times and kill it."
Mack: ".....It's dead, isn't it?"

Even the Munchkin card-games, where it's his deck and he has memorized every card that could possibly be played against him!


Mack: "I'm level 9, and all I have to do is kill this Harmless Potted Plant to win the game!"
Player 1: "I play Card A against you. It's now heavily armed."
Player 2: "I play Card B against you. It's now heavily armoured."
Player 3: "I play Card C against you. It's now +10 levels tougher."
Player 4: "I play Card D against you. It now has 3 identical friends."
Player 5: "I play Card E against you. It now has my character helping it, and you can't run away."
Mack: "....I'm dead, aren't I?"

I give you Mackintosh - Victim to his own machinations.

Old_Man
2007-11-20, 02:10 PM
The Luddite

Still plays a mixture of 2nd edition and the old Rules Cyclopedia because he cant be bothered to spend hundreds of dollars on new books or rewrite his carefully thought out campaign world.
Also just likes saying the word THACO....


;)

Reaction by The Luddite
"2nd edition?!??! Why would anyone have wasted all that money on new books from T$R? In fact, skip the books; mimeographed copies of the "Rules for Fantastic Medieval Wargames Campaigns Playable with Paper and Pencil and Miniature Figures" work just fine. THACO... Hehehe."

Prometheus
2007-11-20, 03:59 PM
The Vicarious Explorer: This DM will come up with elaborate plot devices just to get you to travel through the varieties of settings he has set up. Maybe you'll be in a desert and he has a great idea for the tundra, somehow you'll find yourself there within three or four sessions. He loves to introducte new NPCs to, leaving the old one's behind as your detailed cast gets larger and larger

I like to think I'm a little bit of Vicarious Explorer and General.

Nightgaunt
2007-11-20, 04:18 PM
The Master Roleplayer:

He knows exactly how to play any sort of character, better than anyone else. All the time. No matter whether it's a PC or an NPC. He knows it all. Whatever you are trying to do, you better be ready for a prolonged debate about whether or not that's what YOUR character would do. MUst of his arguments are petty nitpicking, ridiculus or both.<snip>

I played with a DM who is a variation of this...
The Alignment Lawyer

Every other sentence coming from this DM's mouth is,
"You wouldn't do that because of your alignment."
You want to lie and your lawful, can't alignment.
You want to steal and your good, can't alignment.
You want to help your family and your evil, can't alignment.
You want to walk a straight line and your chaotic, can't alignment.

And if your neutral... you can't do anything. :(

WrstDmEvr
2007-11-20, 05:22 PM
The Keeper
DM: Ok, you come to a room. Inside is... the BBEG!
Players: We attack it!!!
DM: Oh...Right...
Wizard: I cast Disintegrate. Roll fort.
*DM rolls a one*
DM: As you hit with your spell, the guy disappears.


This type of DM usually has mediocre plot lines, campaigns, etc. His crowning weakness, however, is the fact that he cannot bear to lose any plot-central items, lands, armies, etc., and manages to get them out of danger just before the PC's manage to obliterate them. While used sparingly, this can be overlooked, but after it starts happening again and again, it gets boring.



This is almost a perfect description of myself, unfortunately for my PC's

bugsysservant
2007-11-20, 07:45 PM
And the type that applies to me (though I try to exercise restraint):

The Over-Thinker
As a person he revels in abstract thought and nebulous problem solving. As a player he would love nothing more than to spend hours discussing tricky puzzles and ethical problems in the context of the alignment system. As a DM he gives problem after problem to his players, assuming their minds work in the same twisted yet logical manner as his. He is known to throw tricky door puzzles, ambiguous alignment and moral dilemmas, and tactical problems at his players. When they fail to spend the session debating what constitutes the "greater good" and the significance of probability for a lawful character or deciding the meaning of the numbers painted at the entrance to the tomb in relation to the shifting corridors of the dungeon.

Will act shocked when the characters are morally inconsistent (but your actions would suggest a belief in moral retributivism! That's the opposite of what you professed last session) but generally won't directly interfere.

Wraith
2007-11-20, 08:02 PM
The Abstract Thinker

Similar to the Over-Thinker, but their deranged machinations do not even make sense with the benefit of hindsight and a full explanation, and usually have no moral, ethical or otherwise content to justify what is essentially a bizarre puzzle.

Conversations often follow these lines:

Abstract-Thinker DM: "All you have to do to open the door is complete the 5 actions all at once. You draw the mirror-image of the symbol of Bahamut on the wall, you swap all the white candles for the red ones, pull the equine-statue's tail to face the north-east, and place the broken remains of the Statue of Heracles onto the Alter while turning the handle."
Hapless PC: "....But why would we have done any of that?"
A-T DM: "To unlock the door! OBVIOUSLY!"

Not necessarily a malevolent form of DM, although if this sort of thing is done deliberately then it's probably a coded message that they are tired of DMing for today...

osyluth
2007-11-21, 02:02 AM
The Evil ****
Uses this thread as a checklist.

SoD
2007-11-21, 02:35 PM
The Hopeful

You guys are enjoying this, right?

The Hopeful is usually just starting to DM for the first time. He has spent a fair amount of time working out the plot, and other important aspects and has even managed to incorperate some of the players backgrounds into possible subplots. He thinks that his plot is nice and original, he thinks that his players are enjoying it, he thinks that the stuff he throws at them won't be to easy/hard. Is he right? He hopes so. In reality, he could be, or he could not be. He's not the best DM ever, but he's definatley not the worst. And he knows it. Could easily become almost any DM subtype.

The Not-Quite-Planned-Enough

After giving a nice detailed description of the city, including its history, leader, political system, important NPCs, good bars, relevant rumours, and other fun facts: ''What's the name of the city??? Uh...''

The The Not-Quite-Planned-Enough has everything planned out. Almost. What he does have is usually pretty well planned out, except for one important detail. Maybe he's got the plot worked out perfectly, but hasn't named the country yet. This could be important if the plot ends up resulting or preventing war with a neighboring country.

Beren One-Hand
2007-11-21, 06:55 PM
Let's not forget...

The Depressed
No matter how well planned, roleplayed, and executed his adventures actually are, they are never good enough. If there isn't enough positive feedback (both during and after the game) he is liable to just quit and sulk in a corner. This is compounded by the fact that he usually doesn't register praise, no matter how emphasised it is. Good comments are percieved as neutral, while neutral comments are seen negativly. And lets not even mention actual criticism

or

The Unschooled
This DM has a good grasp of the some aspects of the game, but is woefully ignorant of other, usually crucial, aspects. This often manifests in overly broken house-rules, such as not using material or xp components for spells, as well as super-easy foes, due to not knowing how to work those fancy SLA's.
Not necessarily a bad DM, expesially if the group likes to blow everything up with little sweat, but it can get tiring if you try to actually school them on how things work.

KIDS
2007-11-22, 01:51 AM
This thread really delivers, a great lot of very good "types" in here - keep up the good work! :smallsmile:

SoD
2007-11-22, 06:45 AM
The 'Aquirer'

You want a +1 raipier? OK, I'll throw that in the loot as well then.

The 'Aquirer' just wants to cater for the party, or, sometimes, a specific player(s). Quite typically a bad DM in a good way. The 'Aquirer' usually has enough sense not to give you that artifact you asked for when you're second level. Usually. The 'Aquirer' just wants to give you what you want, that's not a bad thing, right? Well, actually...

The Stinge

You want a +1 raipier? Well, you'll just have to buy one at the next town! I don't care if you've spent the entire campaign in the wilderness without a trace of a township and are tenth level armed with mundane weaponry! You can buy it just like everyone else.

The Stinge is the complete opposite of The 'Aquirer'. He doesn't want the party to get acess to anything. Suddenly all the stuff you want is overpriced, all the loot is broken, and you can't buy anything. Including trail rations. Put simply, it's time to invest ranks in craft and survival.

Corinthus
2007-11-22, 06:59 AM
The Hopeful

The Not-Quite-Planned-Enough

After giving a nice detailed description of the city, including its history, leader, political system, important NPCs, good bars, relevant rumours, and other fun facts: ''What's the name of the city??? Uh...''

The The Not-Quite-Planned-Enough has everything planned out. Almost. What he does have is usually pretty well planned out, except for one important detail. Maybe he's got the plot worked out perfectly, but hasn't named the country yet. This could be important if the plot ends up resulting or preventing war with a neighboring country.

So ive finally found which DM type i am. I am definately the The Not-Quite-Planned-Enough, usually in respect to NPC's. I have names, distinguishing characteristics, activities, and then the PC's pick apart my reasoning on their motavations within 5 seconds. This is not good when they capture your BBEG alive, and then ask 'why?'

SoD
2007-11-22, 07:40 AM
I know that feeling. I do a map, rough diplomatic relations, and then they ask what the country is called. And the city. Those were awquard situations, I can improvise pretty much anything on my feet, except names.

Corinthus
2007-11-22, 05:00 PM
Yes, as a result, my campaign now has two necromancers called ken and chris. I was kinda hoping they'd just kill ken, which would have saved a lot of awkward questions. chris was the head of mages uni's "department of post-mortem studies". He was quite happy when the players told him that they hadnt seen his skeleton ninjas.

Dragonstar
2007-11-22, 08:14 PM
While owning the books from back in 2nd edition, I lived in the middle of nowhere, so there was nobody to play with. My first game as a player was under a DM who was fantastically a Veteran Cool Teacher but was also very $tingy with traces of Core Only. Low $, Low XP, Great RP. When I eventually began to run my own game I had learned all the best parts of his style, but to make up for the $tingyness, I became

Bob Barker's Xmas Special
This DM gives out massive treasures behind every door, and allows everything from every WotC book out there as long as someone has it at the table to reference, and generally runs character creation with 5d6 drop 2 lowest, Yhatzee! for an auto 18. Campaign becomes completely unchallenging by level 5. Often a result of a run-in with a $tingy DM.

I eventually grew out of it (although I can still be bribed on occasion - throw 10,000 silver in a fountain and roll 100 on a d100, and you'll get a wish... only happened once, I swear...) and things have leveled out in terms of character creation, but I'm still a minor

The Tooth Fairy
Occasionally writes small gifts on the player's character sheets, usually in correlation to some RL event such as a holiday.

Yes, they got Lesser Rings of Sustenance for Thanksgiving. So sue me. :smallbiggrin:

Overlard
2007-11-22, 09:39 PM
The "It'll Make Sense Later" Master
The maze doesn't make any sense, with corridors crossing over without intersections, or walls suddenly appearing when the DM realises he gave a wrong description? Don't worry, it'll make sense later.

The key PC accidentally dies? It only looks like that, in fact the arrow mysteriously passes straight through him, leaving not even a scratch. Don't worry, it'll make sense later.

Monsters are found completely out of their natural environments? The aboleth that has nothing better to do than harry small ships in the middle of the ocean? Ordinary lions are happily living in forests of fungus deep underground, with nothing to prey on but the only adventurers to have been down here in centuries? Don't worry, it'll make sense later.

The main bad guy is targeted with a save-or-die spell, rolls a 1, but is still standing there? Yeah, he's immune to that. Don't worry, it'll make sense later.

It never makes sense later, he just keeps getting caught out on his poor planning, situations he didn't expect, and a poor understanding of the rules. And each time he makes a promise that it'll make sense later, he adds another layer to his impenetrable core idea, until he's trapped by his own terrible mistakes and just tells the players that it would have made sense if they investigated properly, and didn't miss all the subtle clues he left... umm... under the rug in the farmhouse they walked past on their way to the dungeon. Yes, he knows he never mentioned a farmhouse, but that's because he rolled secret spot checks for you all, and you all failed. It's not his fault you can't even see a damned farmhouse when it's obviously there. Now get back to fighting the beholder that no weapons or spells seem to affect.

Wait, where are you going? It'll make sense later!

Mr.Bookworm
2007-11-22, 10:08 PM
The Tooth Fairy
Occasionally writes small gifts on the player's character sheets, usually in correlation to some RL event such as a holiday.

Yes, they got Lesser Rings of Sustenance for Thanksgiving. So sue me. :smallbiggrin:

Interesting. Sounds like a neat idea. *steals*

I have traces of a bunch of these, including the Judge, Headhunter, Descriptor, the Bag of Tricks, the Eberron Master, the Free-Style Writer, the "Idea Guy", the Writer, Judge Dredd, the Ferret, the Historian...

Actually, flipping through the thread, I just realized there is very little that I don't have traces off.

If I had to pick one, though, I might go with Eberron Master. I don't hate FR, but I like Eberron far better. It's kinda sad, actually. I can recite large sections of the Eberron Handbook from heart.

Karu
2007-11-23, 02:41 AM
Small slices of death

This DM just loves to throw the usual puny dungeon fodder at you. Goblins, Kobolds, Pixies... even at level 21.

But trust me, you're in for your money, and you still shudder at the memory of that team of goblin guarding the Dark Lord's tomb, who almost spelled for TPK.

Class levels are his tool of the trade, and in low level campaigns, expect him to make kobolds with four levels of warrior, just to make you face an enemy with two feats, +4 BAB and 4d8 HD. All the while staying at CR1.

I know. I'm one of those.

bugsysservant
2007-11-23, 10:48 AM
The "It'll Make Sense Later" Master
The maze doesn't make any sense, with corridors crossing over without intersections, or walls suddenly appearing when the DM realises he gave a wrong description? Don't worry, it'll make sense later.

Hey, I like doing that! Nothing beats the look on a player's face when they realized they have crossed the same spot three or four times without ever being in the same location.

mostlyharmful
2007-11-23, 10:52 AM
Hey, I like doing that! Nothing beats the look on a player's face when they realized they have crossed the same spot three or four times without ever being in the same location.

Abandon All A-to-Zs Ye Who Enter Here!

shaddy_24
2007-11-24, 10:04 AM
I've seen little elements of myself in here (ferret DM, I'm a little $tingy sometimes, though the players usually don't need the treasure anyway, I may be a bit of a general), and elements of what I want to be (Vetran DM, an admitted chess master, and the immersive DM). I don't think any of the symptoms are that serious thoug, so my players don't have to worry.

The Dice God DM
This DM's dice rolling will kill the PCs on a regular basis. Nobody can blame him, because he set 6 goblins agains the level 10 players, no tactics or class levels, and the players all died. Who knew goblins could roll so many criticals and the players could roll so few. Sometimes acts as a wimp or becomes Bob Barkers Xmas special to try to make up for it.


The "Hated by the Dice" DM
This DM is the exact opposite of the dice god. He can't roll any thing threatening to the players to save his life. Great wyrm dragon? Never even hits. BBEG lich? Almost no damage from spells, or they miss, or some other symptom of bad rolling. Both, at the same time even, go down causing minimal damage. And all the DM can do is throw more powerful stuff at those level 10s and hope they someday actually face that challange.

Dairun Cates
2007-11-24, 03:33 PM
It never makes sense later, he just keeps getting caught out on his poor planning, situations he didn't expect, and a poor understanding of the rules. And each time he makes a promise that it'll make sense later, he adds another layer to his impenetrable core idea, until he's trapped by his own terrible mistakes and just tells the players that it would have made sense if they investigated properly, and didn't miss all the subtle clues he left... umm... under the rug in the farmhouse they walked past on their way to the dungeon. Yes, he knows he never mentioned a farmhouse, but that's because he rolled secret spot checks for you all, and you all failed. It's not his fault you can't even see a damned farmhouse when it's obviously there. Now get back to fighting the beholder that no weapons or spells seem to affect.


So if that's the master, what would you call the GM that actually DID plan it out and it DOES make sense later?

Overlard
2007-11-24, 05:04 PM
Hey, I like doing that! Nothing beats the look on a player's face when they realized they have crossed the same spot three or four times without ever being in the same location.
You like the look on the players faces when they realise you don't know what you're doing? :smallwink:


So if that's the master, what would you call the GM that actually DID plan it out and it DOES make sense later?
A good actor.

bugsysservant
2007-11-24, 05:47 PM
You like the look on the players faces when they realise you don't know what you're doing? :smallwink:

:smallfrown: Ouch! Well, I suppose I had that coming. But I ask you, would the creator of the owlbear really be satisfied with a maze that obeyed Euclidean geometry? A well planned out impossible maze can be fun, as long as you don't overuse it, 'cause there is nothing fun about players who are thirsty for your blood.

Rolaran
2007-11-24, 05:56 PM
The "Hated by the Dice" DM
This DM is the exact opposite of the dice god. He can't roll any thing threatening to the players to save his life. Great wyrm dragon? Never even hits. BBEG lich? Almost no damage from spells, or they miss, or some other symptom of bad rolling. Both, at the same time even, go down causing minimal damage. And all the DM can do is throw more powerful stuff at those level 10s and hope they someday actually face that challange.

That's me, last session. Tricked out assassin with several levels on the party tries to rip up the PCs in a bar, and hits a total of twice. For 13 total damage. During which time the party manages to pummel him, and drop all 67 hp of him to the ground. Which is when his buddy the bow sniper attacks in secret...

...and I roll a d20 that not only decides to come up critical 1, but also manages to bounce through the gap in the DM screen, roll into the center of the table, and plop itself down in the best possible position for every player to see it.

As if to say "Hey! Did you know the DM was rolling for something in secret? He failed, by the way. Just thought you might be interested to know."

So the sniper shoots out a lantern, and the party gets to flee under cover of semi-darkness.

The dice are trying to kill me.

MCerberus
2007-11-24, 08:27 PM
The C'Thulu

Before you stands a crab like none you have seen before. It peers into your soul and then moves forward to strike at you. I found it on a website.

Everything this DM puts forward is an abomination of epic proportions. This DM will have the PCs questioning if there is too much fire being used. The awakened squirrel is a level 18 Warlock. This DM may appear as a Little Slices of Death, but instead of goblins, you get an elite squad of commando goblins ordered to reap your souls for the coming apocalypse. This DM can also be any other types, taken to extreme mind blowing proportions.

They are dangers to their players, as in their campaigns they describe the Deck of Many Things as "quaint" and "predictable". The best way to survive these DMs is to match their insanity. Let the voices in your head control you and murder everything!

BRC
2007-11-24, 08:35 PM
Judge Dredd'
The DM is Judge, Jury and Executioner, with the crime being messing up his plans. He won't stop you from negotiating with the dragon instead of killing it, but he will kill you afterwards in messy ways.

Ardantis
2007-12-16, 10:13 PM
I tend to be a combination of the Maverick and ever-popular Ferret- I think a lot of these "off-the-cuff" DM types also just so happen to be Ferrets when they're at their worst. Or at least at their most ADHD.

A lot of these "types" seem to be trope-dependent- they only happen in more "traditional" DnD games with BBEGs, dungeon-crawling, and balanced parties. That being said, I've seen a lot of them and am enjoying this thread immensely.

Besides the aforementioned "C'thulhu," what kinds of DM types have any of you seen who seem to have been "ported" from other systems with aims that are different from traditional DnD? I can name one- the DM who spent too much time playing "Adventure!" I have to admit that this one is sometimes me...

The Pulp Action DM

Sure, there's a megalomaniacal evil genius threatening the world, but why do the BBEGs of this DM always seem to be twirling their metaphorical handlebar moustaches?

The Pulp Action DM uses several tools- overacting, the-same-foreign-accent-for-everyone, Deus Ex Machina- to achieve the overarching goal of CAMP. Playing in one of these games is a cross between R.A. Salvatore and the BAM! PIFF! of the classic 60's Batman TV show. Seriously, PCs may at times feel as though they are one step away from Anti-Shark Bat-Spray! When the players have ridiculous builds and asymmetric goals, this can lead to an amusing sort of "Scooby-doo" feel, but serious PCs often end up alienated and made fun of for their "straight-man" characters. This DM needs to work hard to fulfill the needs of his more serious roleplayers. Or maybe just go GM a game of Adventure!, for cripe's sake.

A visual representation: :elan: :thog: