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Capt Spanner
2018-09-21, 05:37 AM
ITT: Post the worst possible house rules you can think of.

The aim is humour, so please don't use this as a place to complain about bad house rules you've actually played under.

For extra fun, see if you can tweak previous examples to make them workable (or even good!) house rules.

Rhedyn
2018-09-21, 06:27 AM
Every hour, roll 1d6, on a roll of a "1" or "6" punch a player in the face.

Anonymouswizard
2018-09-21, 06:43 AM
Wallpaper grants an additional 1d6 hit points to everything it covers.

All dice rolls with three or more sixes present result in a daemon being summoned.

Lord Torath
2018-09-21, 08:51 AM
All dice rolls with three or more sixes present result in a daemon being summoned.All dice rolls with three or more sevens present result in an Aasimon being summoned.

Whoever brings Pizza gets a +5/+25% bonus to all rolls for the duration of the session.

Ornithologist
2018-09-21, 08:59 AM
All damage taken by a character must be represented on the figure on the table. including destruction upon death.

This rule is preferably enforced by suprise with a hammer after someone takes damage.

As far as the pizza bringer gets a bonus, one of the local game stores has a house rule it forces on all the RP groups that play there: Anyone who buys a drink or snack gets a free re-roll in game, once per session.

It goes over pretty well actually.

Glimbur
2018-09-21, 10:06 AM
You have to act out everything. Lying your way into a party? Sword fight? Cast a spell? Good luck making it past the first session.

Capt Spanner
2018-09-21, 10:20 AM
When your character dies, the game stops and you play the GM at chess. If the player wins, their character is alive and conscious at 1HP.

Expand this to all dice rolls, where (target-11) is the piece pawn odds: so instead of the player needing a 6 to succeed, they instead start with an extra rook. And if they need a 20 succeed, they start without a queen.

Nifft
2018-09-21, 10:27 AM
Hmm.

Bad House Rule: Every time someone in the game takes fire damage, players set something in the room on fire for better immersion.

... we are never playing at my house.

Rhedyn
2018-09-21, 10:29 AM
Every spell caster starts with and must use the Pathfinder Sacred Geometry feat without computer program help.

InvisibleBison
2018-09-21, 10:37 AM
Whenever a player rolls dice, they score points equal to the amount rolled. At the end of the adventure, the player with the lowest points is kicked out of the group.

Bohandas
2018-09-21, 10:52 AM
All dice rolls with three or more sevens present result in an Aasimon being summoned.

Shouldn't three sevens give you money?

Anonymouswizard
2018-09-21, 11:44 AM
Shouldn't three sevens give you money?

only if the sevens are in the specially designed slots on the table.


Musical numbers shall be punished by cleaning duty during the interval.

MoiMagnus
2018-09-21, 12:04 PM
1) Everytime your character talk, you must succed an Int check or make a grammar or vocabulary mistake.
2) Everytime your character talk, you must succed a Cha check or have a quiproquo or missunderstanding.
3) Everytime you want your character to make an action, you must succed a Sag check or have your character behave instinctively (controled by the DM)
4) Mosquitos are ennemies. Having a mosquitos in line of sight ALWAYS start a fight.
5) Dices are made of chocolate. Everyone has one set of dice. If you eat one, you can no longer roll any dice of that kind (result is always 1).

Bohandas
2018-09-21, 12:22 PM
...an dice of that kind...

Everyone is required to conjugate sentences like this

MrSandman
2018-09-21, 01:55 PM
5) Dices are made of chocolate. Everyone has one set of dice. If you eat one, you can no longer roll an dice of that kind (result is always 1).

Unless you eat it right after getting a critical success on a roll. In that case, you always get the highest possible result instead.

GunDragon
2018-09-21, 02:03 PM
1) As is tradition, at the end of every session, a huge container filled with Gatorade is dumped on the GM. Bonus points if the GM is new to the group and no one told him about this.
2) Clerics can no longer have their alignment within 1 step of their chosen deity. The cleric's alignment must match their chosen deity's alignment exactly.
3) Adding in a homebrew spell for sorcerers/wizards/bards called "Dank Memes" It works like the Confusion spell, but also causes Psychic Damage.
4) Every time you cast summon monster, you have to roll D% on a summoning table. This table determines what you actually summoned. Only about a 50-70% chance you'll actually summon what you intended.
5) Nutcrusher: An in-game special fighting move. You know what it does, no need to explain it.
6) Paying XP to create magic items in 3.5 D&D. Oh wait, that's an actual rule.
7) If a Paladin breaks his vows and falls, there is no more atonement spell. He must become a blackguard and go full edgelord for a while, and then maybe later on in the story he can redeem himself somehow, but only if everyone else at the table agrees to it.
8) Wearing heavier armor actually makes you harder to hit. Oh wait, that's an actual thing.
9) Divine spells that have a positive effect only affect those who share the exact same alignment as the caster. They must also worship the same god. Otherwise, the beneficial magic does not affect you. Yes this goes for healing spells too.
10) Every NPC, player character, monster, or house cat can reroll 1's on an attack. No special ability or item required.
11) You know all those weaknesses, drawbacks, and limitations that vampires have? Remove all of them and have an all-vampire party.
12) Introducing a new homebrew prestige class called the Potato Wizard. I'll let your imaginations run with that one.

Calthropstu
2018-09-21, 02:03 PM
Whoever brings Pizza gets a +5/+25% bonus to all rolls for the duration of the session.

I would love this house rule. Please encourage me getting free pizza.

Unless it's little ceaser's. -5/-25% for that crap.

Lord Torath
2018-09-21, 02:13 PM
Whoever brings Pizza gets a +5/+25% bonus to all rolls for the duration of the session.
I would love this house rule. Please encourage me getting free pizza.

Unless it's little ceaser's. -5/-25% for that crap.The logical conclusion to this rule is that you end up with everyone bringing a pizza, and the bad guys have a really bad night!

Rhedyn
2018-09-21, 02:14 PM
Unless it's little ceaser's. -5/-25% for that crap. You don't deserve free pizza

Calthropstu
2018-09-21, 02:21 PM
You don't deserve free pizza

Sorry, everyone vomiting at the table kinda puts a damper n games.

Anonymouswizard
2018-09-21, 02:28 PM
8) Wearing heavier armor actually makes you harder to hit. Oh wait, that's an actual thing.

I don't want to beat a dead horse as much as the next guy, but 'armour as DR' is just as unrealistic as 'armour as defence'. I hate this 'armour doesn't make you harder to hit' argument, because armour also isn't a universal reduction in damage.

You want realistic armour?

Okay, whatever you're wearing has a chance to just make you ignore any significant damage entirely, with heavy armour=more likely to ignore as a decent general rule. You could model this as a percentage chance, but in the name of simplicity you could also make it increase the 'dodging defence' as both end up with the same result (either the attack deals damage or it doesn't).

Then you have to model times where somebody hits you where you're wearing armour and does do significant damage, which means armour needs an DR rating as well. Some armour will focus more on the defence bonus, some more on the DR, depending on the exact design of the armour.

But what about hitting the opponent on an area they aren't armoured? Now you need either hit locations or have a good enough attack ignore the DR entirely.

Oh, and different weapons should have different abilities to pierce through armour. Probably best to have it reduce the DR for ones that can just bludgeon through, decrease the defence bonus for ones that can pierce the armour, and better ability to ignore the DR entirely for ones easier to slip into an unarmoured slot. Differing values based on the kind of armour worn, of course.

At this point we've just trippled the number of stats armour has and given every weapon a page long table of armour modifiers, plus increased the number of calculations required in combat. At this point we're still note realistic, but we're at least playable.

So yeah, lots of us don't care if armour makes you better at not getting hit (...which is the entire point of armour) or if it reduces incoming damage. As far as I'm concerned 'semi-meat hp' is a far bigger problem.

Jarawara
2018-09-21, 02:35 PM
Shouldn't three sevens give you money?

Lord Torath had also referenced Pizza in that post, I had skimmed over it quickly and read it as "Any roll of three 7's summons a Pizza".

Hmmm... I have to roll 3d8. On a roll of 6 6 6, a Demon is summoned. But on a 7 7 7, I get Pizza! Worth the risk!!!

Jarawara
2018-09-21, 02:38 PM
All damage taken by a character must be represented on the figure on the table. including destruction upon death.

This rule is preferably enforced by suprise with a hammer after someone takes damage.

I actually saw a game like that. It was... BattleTech, the one with the giant robots? One Mech takes a hit that destroys his ammo rack in his arm missile launcher, blows the arm right off. Player reaches out with a pair of tin snips and nips the arm off the miniature, and play continues from there.

The guy was a millionaire, and supplied all the miniatures for the group. But still... GAH!!!!

Quertus
2018-09-21, 05:40 PM
It's been really hard for me to come up with bad ideas I haven't seen, but I think I've got a few:

Drinking game - whenever you have a good idea, or a successful attack / spell / whatever, take a drink.

Rotating GM drinking game - as above, but the GM takes the drink. When the GM passes out, it's someone else's turn to GM.

Strip D&D - as above, but on a failure, you lose an article of clothing.

Strip drinking game - combine the two. On a success, drink; on a failure, lose an article of clothing.

On a completely different tact, how about nitroglycerine-filled dice?

Anonymouswizard
2018-09-21, 05:44 PM
It's been really hard for me to come up with bad ideas I haven't seen, but I think I've got a few:

Drinking game - whenever you have a good idea, or a successful attack / spell / whatever, take a drink.

Rotating GM drinking game - as above, but the GM takes the drink. When the GM passes out, it's someone else's turn to GM.

Strip D&D - as above, but on a failure, you lose an article of clothing.

Strip drinking game - combine the two. On a success, drink; on a failure, lose an article of clothing.

Rotating GM strip D&D - when the GM refuses to come out of the bathroom it's somebody else's turn to GM.

PhoenixPhyre
2018-09-21, 05:53 PM
PbP rule: madlibs. All posts must be done by filling in randomly chosen madlibs.

Edit: alternate Bard rule: the Bard can only speak in song lyrics, bad pickup lines, and puns.

ExLibrisMortis
2018-09-21, 05:53 PM
Die rolls are multiplied by die weight. If you manage to roll a five-ton d20, you get one million times the result. Remember, a roll must be on the table to count.

Anonymouswizard
2018-09-21, 06:05 PM
All weights not in SI units must be divided by pi before being used.

I'm thinking back to my university group and how we might have reacted to strip-D&D. None of us would probably have wanted to play it, but if we did then it's likely that the university would have had more problems with our state of undress than half of the group. Although at least two of us are very weird when it comes to nudity, being uncomfortable around strangers but not caring one bit among friends.

Bohandas
2018-09-21, 06:12 PM
I don't want to beat a dead horse as much as the next guy, but 'armour as DR' is just as unrealistic as 'armour as defence'. I hate this 'armour doesn't make you harder to hit' argument, because armour also isn't a universal reduction in damage.

The real problem is in D&D based videogames like ToEE where a miss due to armor still gives the didn't-strike-the-target sound effects and animations

KillianHawkeye
2018-09-21, 06:13 PM
Drinking game - whenever you have a good idea, or a successful attack / spell / whatever, take a drink.

Aww, my bad, I didn't realize this was a house rule! :smallbiggrin:

Anonymouswizard
2018-09-21, 06:16 PM
The real problem is in D&D based videogames like ToEE where a miss due to armor still gives the didn't-strike-the-target sound effects and animations

Certainly, and a video game can certainly support three armour stats (say miss chance, damage reduction, and coverage) without being significantly more complex for the player. But it really, really annoys me when one simplification is viewed as 'unrealistic' compared to another. But I really need to get to bed, I have a shift tomorrow, and so can't discuss this further right now.

JNAProductions
2018-09-21, 06:18 PM
FATAL. All of it.

Hm...

Critical fumbles!

GaelofDarkness
2018-09-21, 06:30 PM
FATAL. All of it.

RIGHT!?

Also saving throws are augmented by real life challenges. "You rolled really well on that con save... so now you only have to smell what's in my fridge for 10 seconds and not thirty. Throw up and your character goes blind." I may or may not actually need to clean out my fridge...

Kuroten
2018-09-21, 06:41 PM
alternate Bard rule: the Bard can only speak in song lyrics, bad pickup lines, and puns.

https://i.gifer.com/origin/db/dbdd54b17f0630aad76f8fe2d6192881_w200.gif

Calthropstu
2018-09-21, 06:54 PM
Your character is challenged to a game of chess, you must beat the gm in a game of chess.

You might like chess just fine, but the rest of the party stuck on he sidelines? Not so much.

Xaotiq1
2018-09-21, 07:10 PM
Everything you say once the game starts is said by your character unless you signal the DM.

Saintheart
2018-09-21, 07:19 PM
"We're using the Book of Erotic Fantasy tonight."

Calthropstu
2018-09-21, 07:53 PM
"We're using the Book of Erotic Fantasy tonight."

The fact this is a thing disturbs me. Moreso than the succubus arena rules my friend and I started writing for 3.5 does.

JNAProductions
2018-09-21, 08:23 PM
The fact this is a thing disturbs me. Moreso than the succubus arena rules my friend and I started writing for 3.5 does.

You know, the most borked thing from it isn't even sexual. The Metaphysical Spellshaper has nothing to do with sex, but GOD-DAMN is it broken!

Kane0
2018-09-21, 10:30 PM
Bowling strike dice: If you roll max result on a die, the result of your next die is doubled.

Zero distinction: anything placed on the map/grid is there in the world. Donít spill your drink.

Confirm everything: just like confirming attack rolls for crits, but for all d20 rolls.

Backstory bonus: for every paragraph of text included as part of your backstory you get an additional attribute/skill/etc point to spend during character creation.

Off the rails: whenever the DM is accused of railroading They swap DM/player role with the person to their left.

You break it, you buy it: encounters donít give XP until all repair/funeral costs are paid for by the party

Possession is an illusion, but also 9/10 of the law: loot obtained by the party is returned at the end of each session to the relevant authorities, sometimes for a small finders fee or share from the pool.

Reverse education economy: you can trade XP for gold, just like gold used to be worth XP

Realtime deception: whatever you can make the others at the table believe, becomes reality in-game.

Arbane
2018-09-22, 01:21 AM
There's an entire tumblr (http://probablybadrpgideas.tumblr.com/)full of these.

"Every time a player has an idea, they need to roll an Intelligence check to see if their character also had the idea. If the check fails they canít use their idea because the character never thought of it."

"Encourage roleplay at your table by holding your players at gunpoint."

"Take your tabletop to the next level. Instead of maps, tiles, and minis, create a large open terrarium with live flora and fauna. Your minis are now small live animals like bugs and lizards that live in the terrarium."

"All chaotic-aligned characters are required to wear cowboy hats."

"If the characters are going to be high-ranking members of a real life organisation, add realism by insisting character creation takes however long it takes to reach that rank in real life."

Quertus
2018-09-22, 07:16 AM
You may only speak in memes (or did someone already say this? Darn senility).


Realtime deception: whatever you can make the others at the table believe, becomes reality in-game.

So, reading this, I am reminded of playing WoD Mage, and, in particular, of one character of mine who had a rather eclectic inventory. I'd pull out rather odd things, and the storyteller, assuming that I was using magic to create things, would ask, "you want to roll for that?". To which is just respond "no", or "not really". Eventually, pointing out that, if the storyteller couldn't tell the difference between when my character was doing magic and not, reality probably couldn't, either, and asked if this wasn't the best possible reason take Blatancy 5, which quickly became my favorite ability.

Hand_of_Vecna
2018-09-22, 08:20 AM
2) Clerics can no longer have their alignment within 1 step of their chosen deity. The cleric's alignment must match their chosen deity's alignment exactly.


The only problem I see with this is if there are only a dozen or so dieties. I've had this work fine in a homebrew world with two dozen plus dieties (not counting racial dieties who were a bit looser as long as you were in good standing with and advancing the interests of the race) in games with PC's starting as commoners I've even taken it further with characters needing to explain and/or show their adherence to the dieties principles.

RE: CHESS AS A GAME MECHANIC.

So I spent two years as a professional LARPer at a children's camp while also being the main writer for the LARP. One story involved a character called CHESSMASTER getting a set of magical chess pieces that allowed him to summon an invincible CHESS ARMY. The heroes had a series of adventures to find the complimentary chess set. In the final battle a rotation of players had to play a game of chess against CHESSMASTER while the rest fought his CHESS ARMY. The chess game in progress weakened CHESSMASTER'S CHESS ARMY so some could be defeated which resulted in peices disappearing from CHESSMASTER'S side of the board. Towards the end keeping the game going until the time the battle was supposed to end got challenging. I had put on the equivalent of DM hat and swap better chess players out for weaker ones, but overall it was a great experience.

Btw anytime we have minor Vs. minor combat there has to be a non fighting adult as safety Marshall. Usually this adult is either passive just calling out rules violations, changing lights/sound, etc or being a helpful healer. CHESSMASTER was a unique use of the safety Marshall.

SimonMoon6
2018-09-22, 08:57 AM
Based on Freemium Games:

(1) Every time the characters want to rest, the game is paused for the same amount of real-world time. Want the party to rest for 24 hours? Okay, we'll resume playing tomorrow.

However, you can spend real-world money to reduce the time, say, $10 per hour. So, if you want the party to rest for 24 hours, but don't want to stop the game, you just have to pay the DM $240.

(2) Maybe you want your characters to have more magic items? No problem. Just pay the DM $100. He'll then roll on a table and see what magic item you get as a result. Most of the time, the items will suck, but 10% of the time, you'll get something good, and 1% of the time, you'll get something amazingly good.

Rhedyn
2018-09-22, 09:31 AM
You know, the most borked thing from it isn't even sexual. The Metaphysical Spellshaper has nothing to do with sex, but GOD-DAMN is it broken!

I played in a campaign with someone who legit used that in his build.

Can confirm, straight broken.

Luccan
2018-09-22, 11:25 AM
The only problem I see with this is if there are only a dozen or so dieties.

In what edition?

Flyingbooks42
2018-09-22, 11:49 AM
People can use their phones, but only if their character has a phone and their character is doing the exact same thing on their phone as the player is. Texting? the person you're texting has to be another player. Playing a game on your phone? That game has to exist in the game world.

Hand_of_Vecna
2018-09-22, 11:54 AM
In what edition?

I was kinda thinking of 3.x/p, as new dieties statted in lots of source books.

2nd didn't have a hard rule of one alignment away. Each diety had their own listing for both follower and priest alignment and some were exact alignment only. Beyond that there were rules for each god having very different priests with different skills, armorial and weapon restrictions also they had things kind of like domains called spheres and you got a bunch, but that was your whole spell list.

4e/5e - I don't know how many dieties they have on their base world's, but there's no reason a homebrew world couldn't have more. It would be quick work to slap current domains on fully fluffed out dieties from older editions.

Hand_of_Vecna
2018-09-22, 12:03 PM
People can use their phones, but only if their character has a phone and their character is doing the exact same thing on their phone as the player is. Texting? the person you're texting has to be another player. Playing a game on your phone? That game has to exist in the game world.

I actually like this. Don't most tables have a no phones rule, possibly unspoken?

"My character is so unengaged in this conversation that she starts reading movie reviews"

Also yes to in character texts. This is making me want to play a game where I'm separated from the party and go in the other room to wait for an IC call or text.

Luccan
2018-09-22, 12:50 PM
I was kinda thinking of 3.x/p, as new dieties statted in lots of source books.

2nd didn't have a hard rule of one alignment away. Each diety had their own listing for both follower and priest alignment and some were exact alignment only. Beyond that there were rules for each god having very different priests with different skills, armorial and weapon restrictions also they had things kind of like domains called spheres and you got a bunch, but that was your whole spell list.

4e/5e - I don't know how many dieties they have on their base world's, but there's no reason a homebrew world couldn't have more. It would be quick work to slap current domains on fully fluffed out dieties from older editions.

I was more the "only a dozen or so" that through me off. Yeah, any homebrew world could potentially have more, but there are way more than 12 in both 3.X and 5e.

Anonymouswizard
2018-09-22, 03:44 PM
I was more the "only a dozen or so" that through me off. Yeah, any homebrew world could potentially have more, but there are way more than 12 in both 3.X and 5e.

The only setting I know of with about a dozen is Birthright, with elven human gods, Moradin for the dwarves (although I do dislike 'nonhumans have the same god in every setting'), Kartathok for goblins, amd a bunch of unspecified demigods. IIRC most of the big settings are actually in the 20-40 range, while Eberron goes for religions over deities. Planescape I believe has an official list in the hundreds, but it specifically includes the gods from every setting except maybe Eberron, while Dark Sun has none (although with substitutes). IIRC Eberron has the greatest ability for priests not to follow their religion's 'normal' alignment, with divine magic being much more of a manifestation of the user's faith than in other settings.

Luccan
2018-09-22, 04:02 PM
The only setting I know of with about a dozen is Birthright, with elven human gods, Moradin for the dwarves (although I do dislike 'nonhumans have the same god in every setting'), Kartathok for goblins, amd a bunch of unspecified demigods. IIRC most of the big settings are actually in the 20-40 range, while Eberron goes for religions over deities. Planescape I believe has an official list in the hundreds, but it specifically includes the gods from every setting except maybe Eberron, while Dark Sun has none (although with substitutes). IIRC Eberron has the greatest ability for priests not to follow their religion's 'normal' alignment, with divine magic being much more of a manifestation of the user's faith than in other settings.
Oh yeah, I meant like, described in each edition. Certain settings might have fewer ( or none) and same with homebrew. But each edition (I have played) describes a ridiculous number

ExLibrisMortis
2018-09-22, 06:15 PM
No two players can use the same ruleset. That includes the DM.

Calthropstu
2018-09-22, 06:44 PM
The only problem I see with this is if there are only a dozen or so dieties. I've had this work fine in a homebrew world with two dozen plus dieties (not counting racial dieties who were a bit looser as long as you were in good standing with and advancing the interests of the race) in games with PC's starting as commoners I've even taken it further with characters needing to explain and/or show their adherence to the dieties principles.

RE: CHESS AS A GAME MECHANIC.

So I spent two years as a professional LARPer at a children's camp while also being the main writer for the LARP. One story involved a character called CHESSMASTER getting a set of magical chess pieces that allowed him to summon an invincible CHESS ARMY. The heroes had a series of adventures to find the complimentary chess set. In the final battle a rotation of players had to play a game of chess against CHESSMASTER while the rest fought his CHESS ARMY. The chess game in progress weakened CHESSMASTER'S CHESS ARMY so some could be defeated which resulted in peices disappearing from CHESSMASTER'S side of the board. Towards the end keeping the game going until the time the battle was supposed to end got challenging. I had put on the equivalent of DM hat and swap better chess players out for weaker ones, but overall it was a great experience.

Btw anytime we have minor Vs. minor combat there has to be a non fighting adult as safety Marshall. Usually this adult is either passive just calling out rules violations, changing lights/sound, etc or being a helpful healer. CHESSMASTER was a unique use of the safety Marshall.

Omg. I think I was IN THAT.

Did you live in Oneonta, NY at the time?

Bohandas
2018-09-22, 10:32 PM
(Extrapolating from in-character speeches and negotiations where you must actually come up with your character's specific dialog) When your character is in combat you must swing an actual sword against a wooden dummy to determine if your character hits and how much damage they do.

EDIT:

If your character uses a bludgeoning weapon damage is determined using a strongman/high-striker game. If you ring the bell you get a critical hit.

SimonMoon6
2018-09-23, 07:52 AM
(Extrapolating from in-character speeches and negotiations where you must actually come up with your character's specific dialog) When your character is in combat you must swing an actual sword against a wooden dummy to determine if your character hits and how much damage they do.

EDIT:

If your character uses a bludgeoning weapon damage is determined using a strongman/high-striker game. If you ring the bell you get a critical hit.

Oh, and how about:

If your characters encounter a riddle or puzzle of any sort, instead of simply rolling on your character's intelligence to defeat the riddle/puzzle, instead, the players (not the characters) have to figure out the answer to the riddle/puzzle!

Or would that be just TOO crazy?

Grim Portent
2018-09-23, 07:57 AM
Bringing home made baked goods (brownies, cake, cookies, etc.) to the game gives you a cumulative additional action in each of your turns. These carry through different sessions.

Malphegor
2018-09-23, 08:09 AM
All dicerolls are prerolled before the game. The players and npcs can see the rolls and must play them sequentially.

Arbane
2018-09-23, 12:26 PM
Has anything good ever followed the phrase "To make combat more realistic..."?

This game involves time-travel, so detailed note-taking is required to avoid causing a paradox. If a player does cause a time paradox, their character ceases to exist, and they can never play this RPG ever again.

Quertus
2018-09-23, 01:04 PM
No two players can use the same ruleset. That includes the DM.

I was actually going to say that! Hmmm... how about "each player must play with a different version of the rules", or "with rules badly translated into different languages"?


Oh, and how about:

If your characters encounter a riddle or puzzle of any sort, instead of simply rolling on your character's intelligence to defeat the riddle/puzzle, instead, the players (not the characters) have to figure out the answer to the riddle/puzzle!

Or would that be just TOO crazy?

One can only assume that this is sarcasm.

Luccan
2018-09-23, 01:25 PM
One can only assume that this is sarcasm.

It was in response to someone saying that players have to actually say something when their characters are involved in persuasion or questioning. So I'm gonna say it was sarcasm. Personally, I don't force players to be persuasive in real life (though if they can hit on something the npc cares about, they might get a bonus), but I don't do "role for dialogue" either. Likewise, if I have an actual puzzle, I want players to solve it, not roll to see if their characters figure it out.

LordEntrails
2018-09-23, 02:11 PM
"All chaotic-aligned characters are required to wear cowboy hats."
Chaotic good has to wear a white hat, chaotic neutral wears tan/brown, and chaotic evil wears a black hat.

Drinking variant:
Every point of damage a character takes is 1 ounce of alcohol the player has to drink. The GM drinks for all NPC damage. The last player conscious Ubers everyone to the hospital to have their stomachs pumped.

Pex
2018-09-23, 02:24 PM
You have to act out everything. Lying your way into a party? Sword fight? Cast a spell? Good luck making it past the first session.

Going to a brothel.

Hand_of_Vecna
2018-09-23, 02:35 PM
Omg. I think I was IN THAT.

Did you live in Oneonta, NY at the time?

This was GuardUp based out of Burlington, MA, STEM adventure roleplaying.

Nifft
2018-09-23, 02:42 PM
Chaotic good has to wear a white hat, chaotic neutral wears tan/brown, and chaotic evil wears a black hat. Wait... use grey instead of tan/brown and you'd have something like actual D&D rules (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#robeoftheArchmagi).


Drinking variant:
Every point of damage a character takes is 1 ounce of alcohol the player has to drink. The GM drinks for all NPC damage. The last player conscious Ubers everyone to the hospital to have their stomachs pumped. This is an excellent way to bring back the real original D&D, which was simply a way to do Satan-worship suicide-pacts with dice.

None of the OSR (occult satanism revelation) games capture this suicide-pact aspect sufficiently well.

VincentTakeda
2018-09-23, 04:23 PM
DM charges 99cents per minute!

VincentTakeda
2018-09-23, 04:38 PM
Tonights session is PVP gladiatorial arena! The character you create should be mechanically identical to yourself.

The catch? Once you've created you... the dm randomly reassigns who plays who. You do not get to play yourself.

Grim Portent
2018-09-23, 05:28 PM
Tonights session is PVP gladiatorial arena! The character you create should be mechanically identical to yourself.

The catch? Once you've created you... the dm randomly reassigns who plays who. You do not get to play yourself.

That actually sounds pretty fun tbh.

Pex
2018-09-23, 06:27 PM
Create characters using Traveler but we'll resolve things like Rolemaster while the DM runs the game like Paranoia.

Chauncymancer
2018-09-23, 07:54 PM
Drinking variant:
Every point of damage a character takes is 1 ounce of alcohol the player has to drink. The GM drinks for all NPC damage. The last player conscious Ubers everyone to the hospital to have their stomachs pumped.
This is how I met my wife. We used Roll for Shoes instead of d&d, and a few of us probably did allmost die.

Flyingbooks42
2018-09-23, 10:25 PM
Every time a player forgets a fact about the game world that has been explicitly said, they lose their highest die. Whenever they would have to roll using that die they instead have to roll the highest die that they still have.

Lord Torath
2018-09-24, 07:35 AM
Every time a player forgets a fact about the game world that has been explicitly said, they lose their highest die. Whenever they would have to roll using that die they instead have to roll the highest die that they still have.2E AD&D: Lost my d20? Okay, I'm not participating in combat any more. But I'm going to go crazy with my non-weapon proficiencies and attribute checks. Watch me lift this heavy portcullis! :smalltongue:

Rhedyn
2018-09-24, 11:45 AM
Every action your character wishes to perform must first be approved by everyone in the party. The party leader then submits the idea to the GM via text message. The GM then responds to the request via text message.

Ornithologist
2018-09-24, 02:12 PM
One setup we actually did one time was:

Each character made half a character, the GM made the rest, also made the backgrounds and we all woke up wiht amnesia.

Half the challenge was figuring out what abilities we had. The other was not dying when we crashed the space ship we woke up on during the first session.

Anonymouswizard
2018-09-24, 02:24 PM
Players must make up magic words for every spell their character knows and hand the list to the GM. They can only cast a spell if they can correctly say the words without referencing the sheet.

Ornithologist
2018-09-24, 04:30 PM
Campaign Idea.

Everyone has to play as IRS Agents. They spend every session pouring over Real looking Tax forms trying to find errors.

Secret Hook: The GM is actually an IRS agent, and is trying to avoid doing work himself.

Calthropstu
2018-09-24, 06:48 PM
Players must make up magic words for every spell their character knows and hand the list to the GM. They can only cast a spell if they can correctly say the words without referencing the sheet.

Had a friend describe his gm doing precisely that. And the chant had to describe the spell. And if the chant didn't match enough, other effects happened.

So my friend decided eh, why not.

"Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the stream of time is where your power grows. I pledge myself to conquer all the foes who stand before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hand."

So the fireball became a Dragon Slave at point blank range. Tpk.

Anonymouswizard
2018-09-24, 07:03 PM
Had a friend describe his gm doing precisely that. And the chant had to describe the spell. And if the chant didn't match enough, other effects happened.

So my friend decided eh, why not.

"Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the stream of time is where your power grows. I pledge myself to conquer all the foes who stand before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hand."

So the fireball became a Dragon Slave at point blank range. Tpk.

Oh, I know some GMs do force it. It's still stupid and funny.

I mean, I'd certainly let a player cast by saying their IC chant, and might even make up my own the next time play an urban fantasy character ('oh great computer on high, please grant my foes the accuracy of a stormtrooper'*). It goes out of hand when you're expecting purple to perfectly remember chants fur every single spell.


* You want poetry? Fine.
'The bell chimes, the hands turn
The unreal shall be gone
The world returned to how it is
For now midnight has come'
That okay for a simple dispelling charm?

Arbane
2018-09-24, 08:04 PM
No cross-gender characters.
Also, no cross-race characters.

An exception will be considered if you want to play a dwarf and are under 5 feet tall, a halfling or gnome if you're under 3 feet tall, or a half-orc if you are in desperate need of an orthodontist.

Calthropstu
2018-09-25, 08:04 AM
No cross-gender characters.
Also, no cross-race characters.

An exception will be considered if you want to play a dwarf and are under 5 feet tall, a halfling or gnome if you're under 3 feet tall, or a half-orc if you are in desperate need of an orthodontist.

Actually, I can see the no cross gender being a thing.

I've seen guys play girls horribly before.

Yerok LliGcam
2018-09-25, 09:13 AM
whenever a character makes a check, the DM rolls a d20, on a roll of the same number on both dice, the player and DM switch places for the remainder of the session. no notes are exchanged, and regardless of the story changes all things must occur. the new DM must continue to roll that die with each of the players checks, except for the checks made by any previous DM's that have played that night.

at the start of the next session, all places are swapped back to normal.

ShedShadow
2018-09-25, 11:17 AM
Your Int score is the maximum number of words you can put into one sentence
You must act out your actions with your minis as if they were lego
The DM can arbitrarily make you die
Oh wait that's a thing
Players can vote on the DM's rolls to be a 1
Everytime a player uses cheese they must consume a pound of cheese

GunDragon
2018-09-25, 01:03 PM
Actually, I can see the no cross gender being a thing.

I've seen guys play girls horribly before.

Yeah, usually guys playing girls can go pretty bad. But I've seen it done okay before too

Calthropstu
2018-09-25, 01:45 PM
Your Int score is the maximum number of words you can put into one sentence.

I can string infinite words into a single sentence. So is my int allowed to be assigned?

Nifft
2018-09-25, 01:59 PM
I can string infinite words into a single sentence. So is my int allowed to be assigned?

You strung together nine in the first, and eight in the second, so let's give you an average of 8.5, and then let's round that up such that we might err on the side of generosity, resulting in a grand total of 9 (which is within the bounds of normality for a human, albeit on the low side).

Quertus
2018-09-25, 02:02 PM
Actually, I can see the no cross gender being a thing.

I've seen guys play girls horribly before.

I've seen humans play heroes horribly before. Therefore, humans should not be allowed to play heroes.



Everytime a player uses cheese they must consume a pound of cheese


If the GM is providing the cheese, and it's tasty, I'm so there. :smallbiggrin:

Calthropstu
2018-09-25, 02:13 PM
You strung together nine in the first, and eight in the second, so let's give you an average of 8.5, and then let's round that up such that we might err on the side of generosity, resulting in a grand total of 9 (which is within the bounds of normality for a human, albeit on the low side).

Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

That is a gramatically correct English sentence and can be continued ad infinitum.

Nifft
2018-09-25, 02:24 PM
Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

That is a gramatically correct English sentence and can be continued ad infinitum.

It's also either one word or two words (and mere repetition doesn't seem to increase the number of words, merely the number of occurrences of each word, which is clearly a distinct metric and not a necessary reading of the condition under discussion).

I suppose that means you've got a choice to make, regarding your mental capacity and the degree to which you can be uplifited or trained: would you prefer to be a Vermin, or an Animal?

Spore
2018-09-25, 02:26 PM
1) No refluffing.
2) You can refluff everything.

Somehow people just take it too far, or not far enough.

ShedShadow
2018-09-25, 03:39 PM
It's also either one word or two words (and mere repetition doesn't seem to increase the number of words, merely the number of occurrences of each word, which is clearly a distinct metric and not a necessary reading of the condition under discussion).

I suppose that means you've got a choice to make, regarding your mental capacity and the degree to which you can be uplifited or trained: would you prefer to be a Vermin, or an Animal?

I get the feel he wants to be a pokeman called buffalo. They generally don't say anything else besides their name. Does that mean all pokemon have an Int of 1? Probably not.

Anyhow, he was using the principle of recursion, which is technically a correct grammatical structure, but is dubious in terms of actual meaning. Especially when the only word is buffalo which is a dubious verb as is.

Xuc Xac
2018-09-25, 04:24 PM
ITT: Post the worst possible house rules you can think of.

The aim is humour, so please don't use this as a place to complain about bad house rules you've actually played under.


To be honest, I would rather see a thread where people complain about the worst house rules they've actually played under. There's no challenge in making intentionally bad rules.

Nifft
2018-09-25, 04:32 PM
I get the feel he wants to be a pokeman called buffalo. They generally don't say anything else besides their name. Does that mean all pokemon have an Int of 1? Probably not.

Anyhow, he was using the principle of recursion, which is technically a correct grammatical structure, but is dubious in terms of actual meaning. Especially when the only word is buffalo which is a dubious verb as is. Pokemon intelligence might be interesting.

I remember someone telling me that Pikachu could make more words than other pokemon.


To be honest, I would rather see a thread where people complain about the worst house rules they've actually played under. There's no challenge in making intentionally bad rules. I suspect the intended challenge is being funny.

Arbane
2018-09-25, 06:15 PM
"At the beginning of the game, encrypt your search history

If your character dies, you have to decrypt it and show everyone." - probablybadrpgideas

Now THAT's making deaths matter!

SimonMoon6
2018-09-25, 07:21 PM
At the beginning of a session, each player writes down the numbers one through twenty on a piece of paper. Every time that they are told by the DM to roll a d20, they instead pick a number from the paper and then cross it off; that number is considered to be the result of the die roll. And you can't just make frivolous d20 "rolls" to get rid of the bad numbers on the paper. When you use up all the numbers on the paper, you start over, writing the numbers one through twenty down again.

Spore
2018-09-25, 11:34 PM
I get the feel he wants to be a pokeman called buffalo. They generally don't say anything else besides their name. Does that mean all pokemon have an Int of 1? Probably not.

Most of them clearly have vocal chords and can form human-like words - except stuff like Butterfree and their WEEEEEEEEE. So I assume they are ... cursed by Arceus to never talk. Many have human-like intelligence, or are even smarter (Abra-line).

House rule: Just because you cast speak with objects/animals/plants doesnt mean they have higher intelligence (if any at all). Yes, that rock still says: Rockrockrock.

Bohandas
2018-09-26, 07:07 AM
All conversations between player characters and NPCs must be conveyed in mime

Calthropstu
2018-09-26, 11:32 AM
I get the feel he wants to be a pokeman called buffalo. They generally don't say anything else besides their name. Does that mean all pokemon have an Int of 1? Probably not.

Anyhow, he was using the principle of recursion, which is technically a correct grammatical structure, but is dubious in terms of actual meaning. Especially when the only word is buffalo which is a dubious verb as is.

The sentence reads: Bison from Buffalo, New York who intimidate bison from Buffalo, New York are also intimidated by bison from Buffalo, New York but still intimdate bison from Buffalo, New York but still are intimidated by bison from Buffalo, New York, but still intimidate bison fron Buffalo, New York...

And recursively repeats itself from there.

Telonius
2018-09-26, 12:44 PM
Lone Gunmen Rules: $20 ante before rolling your d20.

SunderedWorldDM
2018-09-26, 12:53 PM
At the beginning of a session, each player writes down the numbers one through twenty on a piece of paper. Every time that they are told by the DM to roll a d20, they instead pick a number from the paper and then cross it off; that number is considered to be the result of the die roll. And you can't just make frivolous d20 "rolls" to get rid of the bad numbers on the paper. When you use up all the numbers on the paper, you start over, writing the numbers one through twenty down again.

No fair! Good ones are against the rules.

GunDragon
2018-09-26, 03:28 PM
Blackguards and Antipaladins can use Smite Good a certain number of times per day. However, most of the things you'll be fighting are not Good.
I'll make a house rule, replacing Smite Good with Smite Everything

Calthropstu
2018-09-26, 05:47 PM
No fair! Good ones are against the rules.

Actually, it's horrible for pvp.
"i have higher initiative, so all I need to go first is x, then I use my 20 to crit."

Luccan
2018-09-26, 08:32 PM
Actually, it's horrible for pvp.
"i have higher initiative, so all I need to go first is x, then I use my 20 to crit."

A lot of groups don't do pvp, either out a verbal agreement or because they don't run PCs that are likely to fight each other.

Nifft
2018-09-26, 08:34 PM
A lot of groups don't do pvp, either out a verbal agreement or because they don't run PCs that are likely to fight each other.

This is a thread about bad ideas.

That means it should be a safe space for PvP.

Bohandas
2018-09-26, 09:09 PM
The players must wear the same armor as their characters. It must be made of real metal.

SunderedWorldDM
2018-09-26, 09:28 PM
Any animal companions the characters have the players must have present at the game table as well. Good luck, Ranger with a wolf companion. Or even better, the paladin who summons a griffon with a Find Greater Steed spell.

Bohandas
2018-09-26, 10:00 PM
Success or failure is determined by how many tries it takes you to guess the number the DM is thinking of

LordEntrails
2018-09-27, 02:05 AM
Success or failure is determined by how many tries it takes you to guess the number the DM is thinking of

This one I like :)

Luccan
2018-09-27, 02:36 AM
How's about this, since PVP was mentioned: Any time you want to solve an IC dispute by fighting, stealing, etc. you have to do that IRL. You, the rogue, want to steal everyone's magic items? Ok, if you can successfully lift someone's character sheet and erase the magic item from it before the end of the session, you get the magic item. Note, if you're caught they get to retaliate IRL, since that's how we're handling IC disputes.

Hand_of_Vecna
2018-09-27, 07:50 AM
How's about this, since PVP was mentioned: Any time you want to solve an IC dispute by fighting, stealing, etc. you have to do that IRL. You, the rogue, want to steal everyone's magic items? Ok, if you can successfully lift someone's character sheet and erase the magic item from it before the end of the session, you get the magic item. Note, if you're caught they get to retaliate IRL, since that's how we're handling IC disputes.

Queue calling the police to resolve alerting the town guard.

Nifft
2018-09-27, 07:52 AM
Queue calling the police to resolve alerting the town guard.

At the back of the queue, one would hope, since that will tend to end the game portion of the evening's excitement.

(Psst! That's actually a spelling cue.)

Hand_of_Vecna
2018-09-27, 08:05 AM
Actually, I can see the no cross gender being a thing.

I've seen guys play girls horribly before.

I was tempted to make this ruling once over a player who almost exclusively played manic pixie dreamgirls, but after thinking it over I realized this would effectively be a ban on that player and while a bit cringey at times he wasn't hurting anyone. Also he was kind of a pitiable person who really needed gaming as it was his only real social outlet.

Anonymouswizard
2018-09-27, 08:05 AM
All miniatures are replaced by Jelly Babies. The player that defeats somebody eats somebody. Anybody who's figure is eaten without being killed dies of a heart attack. Abuse of this rule means that your name shall be written in the Death Note.

Gravitron5000
2018-09-27, 08:12 AM
Any animal companions the characters have the players must have present at the game table as well. Good luck, Ranger with a wolf companion. Or even better, the paladin who summons a griffon with a Find Greater Steed spell.

"I summon a swarm of spiders!", he said, as he slowly dumped the contents of his duffel bag out onto the table ... :smalleek:

Anonymouswizard
2018-09-27, 08:20 AM
"I summon a swarm of spiders!", he said, as he slowly dumped the contents of his duffel bag out onto the table ... :smalleek:

Spiders are cute, it's the puppy swarms you have to keep an eye on.

noob
2018-09-27, 08:25 AM
The players must wear the same armor as their characters. It must be made of real metal.

So if the character does have an armor made of wood does it means you must get wood made of real metal before your character can don it?

SunderedWorldDM
2018-09-27, 09:44 AM
So if the character does have an armor made of wood does it means you must get wood made of real metal before your character can don it?

Precisely. Also, all of your equipment must be made of metal as well, the denser and hotter the better.

noob
2018-09-27, 10:39 AM
Precisely. Also, all of your equipment must be made of metal as well, the denser and hotter the better.

So now you have to walk around with a holy symbol made of lead too if you have a cleric.
I guess that now playing a wizard is probably easier than playing a barbarian or fighter: you just have to get a book made of lead and not forget to take the feat eschew material components(since there is no spell component pouches in real life).
but it also probably means that the wizard you play must be naked(in real life you can still wear non metal clothing in addition to your equipment since the rule did not prevent that)
Now a fighter in full plate with a spiked chain must be one of the hardest to play character.

Luccan
2018-09-27, 10:51 AM
At the back of the queue, one would hope, since that will tend to end the game portion of the evening's excitement.

(Psst! That's actually a spelling cue.)

That's how you get charged for ending every session with a policeman showing up.

SunderedWorldDM
2018-09-27, 12:02 PM
So now you have to walk around with a holy symbol made of lead too if you have a cleric.
I guess that now playing a wizard is probably easier than playing a barbarian or fighter: you just have to get a book made of lead and not forget to take the feat eschew material components(since there is no spell component pouches in real life).
but it also probably means that the wizard you play must be naked(in real life you can still wear non metal clothing in addition to your equipment since the rule did not prevent that)
Now a fighter in full plate with a spiked chain must be one of the hardest to play character.

If you're a Warforged, you have to build a giant cast-iron puppet and use that instead of yourself to play. Extra points if you alchemically fuse your soul and consciousness to this puppet.

Telonius
2018-09-27, 02:09 PM
Different languages must be played out in-character. If you're an elf, better dust off that Quenya dictionary.

martixy
2018-09-27, 02:43 PM
"We're using the Book of Erotic Fantasy tonight."

What exactly is the problem here? I don't get, please explain.

But uh, back on topic...
Initiative order when talking. Even out of combat. You can only speak and roleplay in turns. Anything you say out of turn doesn't count. (What is this, jury duty?)

I've had a DM actually try to enforce this.

Bohandas
2018-09-27, 09:48 PM
What exactly is the problem here? I don't get, please explain.


It's inferior to the Netbook of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge yet is in the ballpark of 40 dollars more expensive

abadguy
2018-09-28, 02:18 AM
Certainly, and a video game can certainly support three armour stats (say miss chance, damage reduction, and coverage) without being significantly more complex for the player. But it really, really annoys me when one simplification is viewed as 'unrealistic' compared to another. But I really need to get to bed, I have a shift tomorrow, and so can't discuss this further right now.

The Fallout Series does this quite well. All armor has both a damage reduction and a "dodge" type stat. Certain armors protect better against some types of damage. Critical strikes sometimes ignore damage reduction from armor, akin to hitting a "weak spot".

martixy
2018-09-28, 08:56 AM
It's inferior to the Netbook of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge yet is in the ballpark of 40 dollars more expensive

How so? At least explain yourself, don't just throw out random statements.

Calthropstu
2018-09-28, 09:37 PM
How so? At least explain yourself, don't just throw out random statements.
Int randomNumber = 0;
If(x.isInt && x > 0){
randomNumber = RND(1,x);
}
Return randomNumber;


Sorry, throwing out random statements.

Bohandas
2018-09-29, 12:14 AM
How so? At least explain yourself, don't just throw out random statements.

The Book of Erotic Fantasy came off as pretentious and awkwardly writtwn to me (and not in a good way like Nobilis), whereas the free Netbook of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge supplement is a compelling read. Plus it comes in both 2e and 3.x versions.

martixy
2018-09-29, 10:12 AM
Int randomNumber = 0;
If(x.isInt && x > 0){
randomNumber = RND(1,x);
}
Return randomNumber;


Sorry, throwing out random statements.

Now that's just terrible even for pseudo-code.

What language even capitalizes its keywords?
Also, line 1 implies you need to initialize your variables and line 2 uses and uninitialized variable.
And what scope are you returning from?
No indentation either, what kind of backwards savage are you?

THIS is how you throw random statements:


function throwRandomStatement() {
let statements = [
"let i = 0;",
"if (NaN === NaN) establishWorldPeace();",
"let [H, a, n, _, s, h, o, t, __, f, i, r, ...st] = 'Han shot first'.split('').map(c => c.charCodeAt(0))"
];

throw statements[Math.floor(Math.random() * statements.length)];
}

function establishWorldPeace() {
try {
throwRandomStatement();
return WorldPeace;
} catch (e) {
eval(e);
}
}

Calthropstu
2018-10-01, 07:53 AM
Now that's just terrible even for pseudo-code.

What language even capitalizes its keywords?
Also, line 1 implies you need to initialize your variables and line 2 uses and uninitialized variable.
And what scope are you returning from?
No indentation either, what kind of backwards savage are you?

THIS is how you throw random statements:


function throwRandomStatement() {
let statements = [
"let i = 0;",
"if (NaN === NaN) establishWorldPeace();",
"let [H, a, n, _, s, h, o, t, __, f, i, r, ...st] = 'Han shot first'.split('').map(c => c.charCodeAt(0))"
];

throw statements[Math.floor(Math.random() * statements.length)];
}

function establishWorldPeace() {
try {
throwRandomStatement();
return WorldPeace;
} catch (e) {
eval(e);
}
}


Meh, I wasn't aware a joke needed to be compiler compliant.

Capt Spanner
2018-10-01, 11:30 AM
Meh, I wasn't aware a joke needed to be compiler compliant.

That language looks like javascript to me, which is interpreted, rather compiled and HEY! What's that thing flying over my head? /me watches as Exactly The Point You Were Making zips past above me.

But anyway, for what's meant to be a silly, lighthearted thread things are getting a little serious. Remember that these are meant as funnies, and that suggesting that certain books (or whatever) are bad is more for comic effect than actual statements of fact or even genuinely held opinions.

------

Players who wish to use real word knowledge in inappropriate time settings (e.g. making gunpowder, or high powered explosives) need to provide practical demonstrations of their mastery of their knowledge in real life at the table.

The Glyphstone
2018-10-01, 11:45 AM
How so? At least explain yourself, don't just throw out random statements.

The BoEF tries to take an inherently silly/juvenile topic (Sex in D&D) seriously, and comes across as a bit stilted/pretentious as a result. It also costs money.

The GUCK makes no effort to pretend it isn't silly, and fully embraces its teenage-boy humor as a free game supplement.

noob
2018-10-01, 12:08 PM
Players who wish to use real word knowledge in inappropriate time settings (e.g. making gunpowder, or high powered explosives) need to provide practical demonstrations of their mastery of their knowledge in real life at the table.
There is a surprising amount of players able to do that in my table.
It would not stop them.

Anonymouswizard
2018-10-01, 01:17 PM
The BoEF tries to take an inherently silly/juvenile topic (Sex in D&D) seriously, and comes across as a bit stilted/pretentious as a result. It also costs money.

The GUCK makes no effort to pretend it isn't silly, and fully embraces its teenage-boy humor as a free game supplement.

I actually have to agree that treating it seriously is actually a bit of a bad idea. I mean, you can treat it seriously, especially in areas that would make most people uncomfortable, but you also have to have your tongue in your cheek at the right moments, which is where the BoEF fails.

That's not to say that an entirely silly treatment isn't bad, it's just that there is a place for a more mature discussion of the topic. Probably not at the gaming table, but I try not to knock people's fetishes.

From another perspective, sex, sexuality, and the traditions and taboos surrounding it can be a very important part of world building. As much as I hate Pornomancy, it does a very good job at showing how unelegant the magick in Unknown Armies is, and how the setting is a lot more 'dirty'* than your average Urban Fantasy. A fantasy world where all sexualities are accepted and casual sex is common feels very different to one where most nobles are in arranged marriages, monogamy is assumed, and homosexuality is outlawed by the church.

* By which I mean grim and gritty, not that the entire setting is sex-focused.

Spore
2018-10-03, 09:37 AM
The BoEF tries to take an inherently silly/juvenile topic (Sex in D&D) seriously, and comes across as a bit stilted/pretentious as a result. It also costs money.

I think it is mainly the tone that holds the BoEF back. I feel it was the cut content from BoVD and BoED that glorifies and villifies sex desire and love in order to give those two a different rating.

Bohandas
2018-10-03, 11:55 AM
It was just badly written, and lot of it seemed to be influenced by new age ideas

martixy
2018-10-04, 10:59 PM
The BoEF tries to take an inherently silly/juvenile topic (Sex in D&D) seriously, and comes across as a bit stilted/pretentious as a result. It also costs money.

The GUCK makes no effort to pretend it isn't silly, and fully embraces its teenage-boy humor as a free game supplement.

Oh, well... nothing says you can't do both.


It was just badly written, and lot of it seemed to be influenced by new age ideas

Dude... I can never understand anything you say. You write things for which you have context, in your head I bet it's all justified. But me at least(maybe other people too) do not have that context that makes your posts in any way meaningful.

Now, I actually went and looked up GUCK.

It is kind of amusing. Though for me personally it takes the minutia of having sex a little bit too far. Might appeal to people who really like rolling dice. I'd be fine with rolling 1 check and getting creative with the scene and flowery with the language.

Also, it's kind of sexist. There's a disease called Bitchy Magical Syndrome and it can only be contracted by females. But that would be so much better on a male recipient...

But yea, I now get what you mean by "doesn't take itself seriously". There's a couple of good essays too, on some touchy subjects (which I'm not gonna bring up, because they're not topics the internet is capable of handling well).

If there's one thing all of these books lack, it's good representation for the monstrous species. Humans are overrated.

The Glyphstone
2018-10-05, 12:16 AM
If there's one thing all of these books lack, it's good representation for the monstrous species. Humans are overrated.

That is the one thing the BoEF got right, in one single hilarious line:



Love Life of an Ooze: One ooze. Idiot hits ooze. Two oozes.

Bohandas
2018-10-05, 01:35 AM
Dude... I can never understand anything you say. You write things for which you have context, in your head I bet it's all justified. But me at least(maybe other people too) do not have that context that makes your posts in any way meaningful.

Was referrib to the BoEF (which was the topic of the previous post. Usually you don't quote a directly previous post unless it touches on multiple topics)

martixy
2018-10-05, 02:03 AM
That is the one thing the BoEF got right, in one single hilarious line:
Love Life of an Ooze: One ooze. Idiot hits ooze. Two oozes.

Ahaha... that's so true.

But I was pondering what interesting things you can do with the more non-humanoid races(or at least by type) - dragons, mermaids, elementals, fey, etc.


Was referrib to the BoEF (which was the topic of the previous post. Usually you don't quote a directly previous post unless it touches on multiple topics)

I get the subject of your comments, I am simply not able to derive any information from them.

I have no clue what "badly written" means to you, what "new age ideas" are, and why/how they are relevant to that book.

Bohandas
2018-10-05, 10:07 AM
If there's one thing all of these books lack, it's good representation for the monstrous species. Humans are overrated.

You need to search out the 3e version of GUCK/NboUCK, It covers this on pages 48-54

Nifft
2018-10-05, 10:28 AM
That is the one thing the BoEF got right, in one single hilarious line:

Love Life of an Ooze: One ooze. Idiot hits ooze. Two oozes.



Ahaha... that's so true.

At its best, it's a Book of Mitotic Fantasy.

EggKookoo
2018-10-05, 11:00 AM
At the end of each round, everyone rotates characters to the right (around the table).

Wait, that actually could be fun...

ExLibrisMortis
2018-10-05, 11:16 AM
Wait, that actually could be fun...
Well, we can fix that. Instead of rotating characters, you only rotate alignment and ability scores. Recalculate all your stats, revise your moral lookout, and remember: if you have the Chaotic Evil card, you have to kill the first thing you see.

Anonymouswizard
2018-10-05, 01:14 PM
At the end of each round, everyone rotates characters to the right (around the table).

Wait, that actually could be fun...


Well, we can fix that. Instead of rotating characters, you only rotate alignment and ability scores. Recalculate all your stats, revise your moral lookout, and remember: if you have the Chaotic Evil card, you have to kill the first thing you see.

You forgot that patron deities rotate to the left, and that codes of conduct are still in play.

Arbane
2018-10-08, 01:33 PM
At the end of each round, everyone rotates characters to the right (around the table).

Wait, that actually could be fun...

I once heard about a game where the GM actually said to do just that. (It was Mage: the Ascension, someone had just botched a powerful Mind spell.)
I still don't like combat fumble rules, but this, I liked.