What is the silliest thing you've ever said?

[Leper_Kahn]

Inspired by the other thread:
What is the weirdest/dumbest/silliest thing you've ever said. Either on purpose or not, but please make it funny!

Mine:
"Squirrels are protected by the endangered species act..."

But she loved animals and she was hot... :smallwink:

[Skippy]

I love telling silly things to people, so to pick one would be really hard... I think it would have been a bad joke about elephants... And then the girl ran away...

[RTGoodman]

I can't remember anything specific, but there are a lot of times in my life where I'll say something, and then stop and think to myself "Huh - I'd bet that's the first time that phrase ever be said."

It's really funny to think about things like that.

[Haruki-kun]

Mine? Oh, I remember it vividly.......... but it was silly on purpose,for the record.

I said:

"Link is actually the son of Riku and Goofy, and he is a perverted freak. Furthermore, my Brother is Squidward."

The part about link.......... my friends and I came to that conclussion. Let me know if you're interested in knowing how.

[Skippy]

Yes, I do want to know how did you get to that conclusion...

>.<

[Em Blackleaf]

Mine? Oh, I remember it vividly.......... but it was silly on purpose,for the record.

I said:

"Link is actually the son of Riku and Goofy, and he is a perverted freak. Furthermore, my Brother is Squidward."

The part about link.......... my friends and I came to that conclussion. Let me know if you're interested in knowing how.

I would like to know how.

The silliest thing I've ever said?

"Holy cheese! My Snickers is like a nut-puddle!"

I had a Snickers bar in my lunch, and it melted.
Holy cheese? I thought of that when I said it, it also seemed to work with swiss cheese.

[rubakhin]

Me: *vodka* Nobody understands the Polish soul. You know why Americans think the Poles are stupid? [insert brief history of Polish victimization at the hands of the filthy Germans/Russians/Americans/God] To be known as a Pole in America, you must be a secret Pole. Nijinsky was not Russian, Marie Curie was not French, Chopin was not French. Copernicus was a Pole - Copernicus was a Pole, and I bet you everyone in America thinks he's some Roman! All the hatred from everyone, and ignored on top of that! Truly, the Poles are the Jews of the world.
Sasha: That's very funny. Did you realize what you just said?
Me: No. Tell me, Sashechka, what did I say?
Sasha: If the Poles are the Jews of the world, then what are the Jews?
Me: Organized.

[PhallicWarrior]

"I throw spoons."


My friends were talking about the card game, spoons, and I heard a snach of the conversation and poked my head in to say that.

[heretic]

Me: "For only eating bugs, that Tiger's looking pretty good."
Other Kid: "Dude, we're watching The Lion King."
Entire German Class: *laughter*

[Raiser Blade]

"My spoon is too big."

I actually forget why i said it but i think it was an old cartoon or something.

On a side note i regretted it when i said it around my friend who is always saying, "Thats what she said."

>_<

[Orzel]

"Okay, who gave the little men who run my brain illegal drugs and beer! They prefer fish and rum. 140 proof with a cinnamon pinch. Cinnamon not Simnoninom!"

Then I "went to sleep"

Luckily I was recording voice notes on my phone.

[Leper_Kahn]

"My spoon is too big."

I actually forget why i said it but i think it was an old cartoon or something.

On a side note i regretted it when i said it around my friend who is always saying, "Thats what she said."

>_<

Holy crap... Greg?

I have a friend who says the same things all the time, and another one who talks about "My spoon is too big" all the time.

BTW: Link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=MuOvqeABHvQ

[Volug]

"your mom's a snowball":smallbiggrin:

[Logic]

:smallfurious: "He has FACE!" :smallfurious: (At age 23)

:smalleek:

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Where do I start? I mean, I usually say something silly once a day. Here are a few of my most notorious:

1. "Gotta run. I have things to see and people to do."
2. "Could've been worse. It could've been a rhino." (Came from a piece of fiction I wrote ages ago, and I now apply it to almost any situation.)
3. In response to the question if diabetes runs in my family: "No, it walks."
4. In response to inquiries of my astrological sign: "Cancer...Well, diabetic, really."
5. When it was suggested I might have to lose a few toes (which I thankfully didn't): "But...but...if you take those toes, I won't be able to count to 20 anymore!"
6. A bind I created on City of Heroes to announce my main character's arrival into a zone: "I am not the Amazing Spider-Man, the Incredible Hulk, or the Invincible Iron Man! I am...THE ADJECTIVE NOUN!" :smallbiggrin:

[Pyro]

I can't think of anything I've said right now, but my parents have the habit of saying the most ridiculous things.

*My brother, dad, and I are putting together a bed.*

Dad: (to brother) Hey take off your sweatshirt.
Brother: Why?
Dad: Its making me hot.

Something my mom said to me recently.

Me: Hey mom whats a progenitor.
Mom: You know the father, the sire, the sperminator.
Me:...

[BlackStaticWolf]

3. In response to the question if diabetes runs in my family: "No, it walks."

Silly nothing. That is an effing brilliant response.



Here's one from me (the whole exchange is required for context)

Friend (while kicking my ass at Super Smash Bros.): I totally beat you.
Me: I beat your mom.
Friend: .....
Friend: Dude, that is not cool!

[RAGE KING!]

...wow

possibly

It says I have supreerioreer speech abllillitlys!

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

There are too many for me to count.

[valadil]

Oh my, where to start.

1. I threatened to shoot one of my friends in the diabetes.
2. I threatened to kick my mom in the nuts (knowing full well she did not own or operate a set of nuts).
3. (Name changed to protect the innocent) It's Pudding! Helllllooooo Pudding. Pudding want a grape? *throws grape at Pudding).
4. "I'll put you in the ground for three dollars fifty cents," was how my deadlands undertaker hit on a female character.
5. I have to go void my nether regions.
6. Meow meow meow meow meow meow ... (not actually spoken - we were given 5 minutes in an english class to write anything, so I did)

That's all I can think of for now that isn't sexual or racist. I'm very good at coming up with ideas that make sense within a context but are truly absurd when the context is removed. Not that that shows in the previous quotations.

[SurlySeraph]

On teh interwebs?


...
...
I am going to eat your mind, you heretic.

And the following exchange on GameFAQs:
Guy1: Just play the game and find out, nub.
Guy2: WILL YOU JUST TELL ME THE PLOT? And don't call me a noob or whatever lol.
Guy3: He didn't call you a noob, he called you a nub.
Guy2: What's a nub? And don't say I'm a noob for not knowing or whatever.
Me: A nub is a small noob. Nubs are much tastier than noobs, but they're much higher in fat and cholesterol.

Eh... both were funnier at the time.

As for stuff in real life? Too many to choose from, most involving gnomes, aardvarks, and my acute paranoia.

[Extra_Crispy]

I dont know if this is the silliest, as I have said many silly things but this response caused my mother to hit me very very hard.

My mother and I were talking about death some, and what she wanted done after she died. She said she wanted to be cremated. Keep in mind that my parents and I are very close, and a few years before this conversation I was burned very severly and almost died in a car accident.
My response "Ya me too, after all I want to finish the job I started"

[Reticen]

"I have a mind like a steel seive"
and
"You think you are confused now? Wait untill the sun turns to jelly and giant hampsters erupt from the earth to enslave the dolphins. THEN you will be confused."

[Dragonrider]

My cousin and I had a pretty idiotic conversation:

Her: "I'm so hungry I could eat!"
Me: "Yeah, that phrase makes you sound like you need some food in your brain." Then "Oh wow, clearly I do too." :smalltongue:

[Icewalker]

Well, in elementary school I was convinced that crazy/weird was hilarious. Good times.

I memorized a little equation for myself, that I would spout A LOT.

I can't remember all of it now, but it was a simple +, - , x, etc equation that involved purple lemurs, some numbers, and I think New York.

[Cyrano]

I don't smile because it breaks my face in half.

[Pyro]

O I have one for weird now. My friend and I used to have this exchange every day when we had a bathroom break in class.

Me: Come on Andres (friend), lets go pee!
Andres and Me: Together!

It was so funny! The other guys would give both of us odd looks.

[bingo_bob]

I think the award has to go to...

"Stringy bits with lots of tubes inside!" immediately after finishing a run. I have no idea.

[Hell Puppi]

"This is really going to suck once they start falling up faster."

[Shiny, Bearer of the Pokystick]

I'm tempted to ruin the mood with one of the following:

"America's still one of the finest nations on earth."
Or:
"I love you too, sweetie."

But in reality, it is this:

"I think there was a thing on Sesame Street..."

Context being me very tired, and three other people animatedly discussing Gravity's Rainbow.

[FdL]

"I think I'm falling in love with you"

or plain old

"I love you"

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

[QUOTE=BlackStaticWolf;3208594]Silly nothing. That is an effing brilliant response.
Well, my response comes from the fact that diabetes appears in the far end of the gene pool...distant relatives and all that

Another medical question often asked is, "Do you have any allergies?"

My reply. "Yes...to doctors and nurses." :smallbiggrin:

[Hannes]

Well, not said, but sung. I like to sing. I had my mp3 player. I was listening to The Soulforged. You can guess what happened.
I live in a place out of town, a somewhat rural/suburban area or something.
I somehow always deduct from it that there will be no people in their gardens.
Imagine my shame as I look right and see that neighbor looking at me in the highest level of "WTF?!?!?!?!" way.

[exodus_dragon]

My buddy and i were playin Shadow run on xbox live one night and we were talkin to each other on the headsets. my girfriend started to talk to me so i was responding to her like i would normally. then a few minutes later my friend asked me something and i responded to him the way i do to my girlfriend lol.

I said "Yes Babe!"

lol that was great my Girlfriend laughed at me and my friend muted me for like 10 minutes

[Wolf53226]

Have this friend, all our conversations are kind of strange, just the way he is.

One of them ended up with us coming up with, "There is no I in team, but two delicious I's(eyes) in cannibalism!"

This mostly came of us trying to annoy a different friend, seems he has no stomach for cannibalism. :smallbiggrin:

[dsuursoo]

*russian accent*

space program, very exciting program. sometime rocket works, you go to space and are hero. sometime, rocket go boom..

[Googlywirdo]

I have said many silly things. Once I told a friend that yellow elephants were atacking New York and that we had better run otherwise we would be squashed by an ant. Oh! and the question that never ever dies, would you rather be eaten alive by lions or ants. Ahh memorys :smallbiggrin:

[Baboon Army]

Its a riddle:

Two green crocadiles are flying in a delta formation under the earth's crust. What is the triangular value of seven parallel elephants at 23 degrees?

Answer:
Why do you need a refridgirator if you don't smoke??

Don't ask how I came up with this.

[Amotis]

"I think I'm falling in love with you"

or plain old

"I love you"

"And now I'm a crushed credit card registered to Smith,
Not the name that you call me with"

[gooddragon1]

Teacher: Do you know what a transvestite is?
Me: No, but if it means I don't have to get married I'd gladly be one!
Teacher: *facepalm*

[ufo]

Teacher: Do you know what a transvestite is?
Me: No, but if it means I don't have to get married I'd gladly be one!
Teacher: *facepalm*

Touché.

Ye own'd yerself..

[gooddragon1]

Touché.

Ye own'd yerself..

Yes, yes I did, but I was 14 at the time and barely capable of any rational thought. Still never getting married though, such a drag.

[earlblue]

Inspired by the other thread:
What is the weirdest/dumbest/silliest thing you've ever said. Either on purpose or not, but please make it funny!

Epp...

"Weirdest/dumbest/silliest thing"

Man, that's a mouthful... Especially the "/" part.:smallbiggrin:

OBeQuiet UWannaBe

"There is no such thing as money."

Wait. That's actually true. Ask any economic professor or spiritual leader.:smallfurious:

[QueenOfMemnoch]

Well, my boyfriend and I were driving through country-Oklahoma, and I have a fondness for cows, as anyone who knows me will admit.
So, we're driving past a pasture with cows, and I see something that is with the cows and smaller, and I declare
"Oh! Its a BABY cow!" My boyfriend gives me a strange look and responds with.
"Uh, I'm pretty sure that was a sheep."
And it was.

[Youngblood]

One dark and stormy night, my gaming group (of which I am the only female) decided to send someone out for ice cream and they returned with peach cobbler flavored ice cream, among other things. This conversation ensued.

Misc Friend: Wow, this is some good ice cream. Peaches rock.
Me: Yeah, I could eat a peach for hours.
Everyone else: *slight pause followed by uncontrollable laughter*
Me: What? I could. Oh... You all suck.

[gooddragon1]

I didn't say this, my philosophy teacher did:
Teacher: So class, the greeks believed in the three parts of the soul and that each person had varying amounts of the three parts in them. We can look at the Tom, D!ck, and Harry example. ... So each of you has a little Tom in you, a little D!ck in you, and a little Harry in you.
Class: *snicker*

[Yeril]

I remember my cousin once said

"Don't be silly, skeletons don't exist.... wait-"

[Totally Guy]

I once got a phone call at work from someone that was going to repair a phone line. At the time I was expecting a call from someone that was going to set up postal collections.

Him:"Hello, I need to talk to the works manager about a phone connection."
Me: "Oh, you must be from the royal mail. Yes I require a postal pick up arrangement"
Him:"No, put me through the works manager"
Me:"Guess it wasn't him"

Colleague:"Did you just ask the phone company if they worked for the royal mail?"
Me:"Erk! :smalleek: Oops I did. Well, if it was him he'd probably have been calling using a phone as well so you can see why I'd get confused"

[Sigbru]

I live inside a spoon

[Em Blackleaf]

I said this about five minutes ago:

"Now I have to take a shower to wash all of the cheeese out of my hair..."

I got sour cream and cheddar chip crumbs in my hair. :smalltongue:

[exodus_dragon]

I used to be an Air traffic controller here is the funny part of the conversation.

Me : Aircraft pilot name, winds two three zero @ 7 (air traffic jargin) cleared to land.
pilot: roger we are on the ground taxiing.
me: errr, rogger

few minutes passed by
pilot: Tower this is (aircraft bla bla) requesting take off what are the winds.
me: roger the winds are when are moves at x speed in x directions.
pilot: laughs.
me: Aircraft bla bla, wind two three zero at 7 cleared for take off.
pilot: roger cleared for takeoff.

[Azatrox]

"Does that mean my boyfriend has a giant cannon?" <accidental innuendo while talking about Red vs. Blue. Obviously, I've been dubbed "Caboose."

"Wow, who knew that raspberries repel vampires..."

"He has extra-dimensional pockets just for food. He's like Father Anderson from Hellsing, but with spring rolls!"

Also, I tend to sing that one tune from the SNL "Night at the Roxbury" skits while doing the head-jerk thing while playing Halo 2 online or when it's too quiet at school.

[Calamity]

It smells like new carpet in here.

(In context, that made perfect sense. On it's own, it's a tad weird phrase)

[Bayar]

An eternity in the hands of Lucifer will be like a walk in the park compared with five minutes with me and this paperclip.

[Hell Puppi]

"Face to crotch style!....Oh, wait! Damn!"

(actually was my friend Tyler. He meant to say 'fist to crotch style'. It's been 5 years and we still won't let that one die:smallbiggrin: )

[rubakhin]

I just remembered something from my intrepid youth. My English was pretty good, but that point in time I hadn't quite mastered the vast yet subtle power of American English insults. I still tried to use them anyway, with predictably stupid results:

Me: I hate my school. My school is a slut.
Mom: That's ... not how you use that word. A slut is ... a woman who's ... not very nice.
Me: Okay, my teachers are sluts.
Mom: Don't say that!
Me: But they are!

I also constantly confused organ and orgasm. What fun, biology class:

Me: This week we're dissecting cow orgasms preserved in formaldehyde, yes?

[Em Blackleaf]

"My spoon is too big."

I am a banana. :smallbiggrin:

[Jibar]

"Face to crotch style!....Oh, wait! Damn!"

(actually was my friend Tyler. He meant to say 'fist to crotch style'. It's been 5 years and we still won't let that one die:smallbiggrin: )

Heh, funny thing is I once made up a martial arts move named that.
The idea idea was you smash their hips to pieces.
With your face.

[Sucrose]

"Huh...this looks like Mole Puke."

-spoken in reference to an uncle's chip dip. It was intended as a compliment; my chemistry teacher makes a delicious dip for Mole Day that is, in fact, quite similar to the dip that my uncle made.

If you're reading this, Uncle Joe, sorry about that.:smallredface:

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

During a Thanksgiving get-together, our hostess had made an attempt at the desserts. Alas, part of the crust for her apple pie had collapsed, leaving a disturbing shape. Thus, my declaration: "And for dessert, we apparently have rat pie!" :smallbiggrin:

[phoenixineohp]

My friend Rob (a fellow Canadian) during high school history class while we were talking about the reason for American Independence day.

Rob: "Canada should have it's own day..."
Us: "...."
Rob: "We could call it 'Canada day."
Us: "And when should that be Rob?"
Rob: "Some time during the summer..."
Us: *laughing* "Rob, we already have one."
Rob: "Get out! No way!"
Us: "...." *laughter*

"They do a lot of things with prostitutes."
- Professor improperly phrasing historical treatment of vd.

[Vuzzmop]

Sure, Tony can join my game! ~ three hours before Tony did something unsanitary with my d20. aaaaeeeewewwwwwwwww!

[Headless_Ninja]

"Whoa, that baffles the mend!"

(Not me, but hey) "This music is driving me bizarre!"

[Baboon Army]

Something my friend said a few days ago, roughly translated:

"Oh, I just want to kill myself or someth....Ooooo a cookie!"

[Thes Hunter]

Dude, it was whatever verbal diarrhea I left on a potential employers voicemail. Is there such a thing as an undo on vocal mail? Like OMG I just made a complete git of myself, could we delete that so I can start again?!


Mah. Anyways, the guy seemed nice, so maybe he will over look it. But I am certainly not demonstrating my 'excellent phone skills'.

[truemane]

Inspired by the other thread:
What is the weirdest/dumbest/silliest thing you've ever said. Either on purpose or not, but please make it funny!


"I do."

Talk about dumb...

:smallbiggrin:

[Jalor]

"I do."

Talk about dumb...

:smallbiggrin:

LOLed so hard I think I coughed up a kidney.

My Quotes...

"They never talk, except when they do" (said by me)

*at a friend's house, examining the papers on his desk*
Friend: Get your hands off of my junk!
Me: :o

More to come...

[The_Librarian]

"Oh no! I let it dry wet!"

"Let it dry wet" obviously means I allowed my hair to dry without brushing it. It's obvious, right?

[The 6th Side]

I once presented the idea of there being TWO kido cannons to my best freinds :smallbiggrin:

No one laughed though ...
*weeps*

[Ashtar]

"Do you want to marry me?"

"As long as the cat didn't puke three times, it'll be okay"

[Xuincherguixe]

A day doesn't go by where I don't say something really silly. But some of the highlights.

"Xloges are a real problem in Northern Kentucky" back in highschool during Math class, and we were working on logarithms, x*log(e) came up (written as xloge). And I delivered that line. It was one of my running gags for awhile. And now that I mention it I'm tempted to put that on my livejournal under my "no explanations" series. I came up with a whole series of things involving Xloges, creating various species and such.

I have a livejournal with a series of posts with a no explanations tag. There may or may not be explanations depending on the post. As an example I posted a picture of a prize winning pig.

"I'm the high priest and sole member of the followers of Squiggy!" As with a lot of these things it kind of spiralled out of control. What started it off was when I was playing a mediocre game chaos overlords, it was sort of a cyberpunk gangwar deal. One of the units you could hire were called "Followers of Squiggy", they were nearly useless and had a description "worships a dark god who probably doesn't exist". It was probably the best part of the game. I suspect Squiggy is supposed to be akin to Cthulhu. But completely ridicilous.

I'm constantly referencing Squirrels for no particular reason.

I wrote a few stories with the premise of every Canadian had super powers but this isn't widely known because the CIA doesn't want to let people know this. I got screwed though and got stuck with the ability to telepathically communicate with walls. Since most walls don't actually have minds it was next to useless, and those that did were almost always evil. Though more often than not they were just doing it for the attention.


I'm strange and proud of it ^_^

[BanjoTheClown]

I Have a Magical Tumor...Named Bob.