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DrownsInCancer
2019-01-10, 11:27 AM
I'm planning on DMing a homebrew campaign very soon and one of my players is a friend i've known for years, i'd prefer her to NOT be my player but my number of real-life friends has grown very thin and she's around me all the time. She is very... "sex-crazed" despite never doing it herself and is also a giant anime nerd and uses the word "kawaii" and "neko" often. I have no problem with her being a anime fan, I used to be one too. But the fact that she always has something sexual to say makes me uncomfortable. I've had friends who'd make sex jokes and it'd be funny, but the way she says it is very uncomfortable and I've asked her many times to quit saying these things WHILE she is saying them and she wouldn't. An example of this was when a friend was considering bottom surgery and was looking at uhh... male part attachments... My friend was serious about getting this done, and my player said "Well when you get it, let me use it first, then you can have it." Me and the other just looked at her like... why are you like this????

I've gotten her into a lot of RPG games and even some stuff I genuinely enjoy and she has to make some sort of gay ship (or worse, incest or pedophilia) that would not work and she just crams that ship down my throat. And I'm very afraid of getting her into more things I enjoy because she'll constantly ruin characters like how she always has. She's that typical one who reads yaoi fanfics and has OCs to every anime she likes, and those OCs involve some sort of neko or cat-like feature to them.

I decided to populate the neo-asian part of my world with some tabaxi, cat-folk, and she immediately went "I WANNA BE A NEKO." Of course I agreed... reluctantly. I'm glad she didn't want to make her character's name be something Japanese, and go with the traditional D&D naming style of Tabaxi. I told her that she would not be able to wear boots, as Tabaxi have cat-like legs than humanoid ones, but she was determined to be a cat person.

At lunch, I decided to tell my players about this neo-Asia region and noted a new race, which are essentially shifters but more humanoid. And she said "Now I can make my neko character!" And I firmly stated that this race is not up for playing and she looked kinda sad. Later, I was talking to another player about an investigator NPC I have planned and I showed both of them what he looked like and she jokingly asked, "Serious question: can I **** him?" I got really agitated and said for her to quit... rudely. I'm sincerely loathing when I have to act out male characters because I know she is going to seduce them somehow. And a very prominent male character in my campaign is a lich. I don't want every NPC in my world to be female, to combat her. And I know that she is joking most of the time, but it's really not funny at all and more cringy than anythingI don't intend to be rude, but how do I curb her ways?

Me: "The lich arises and he points a finger at you three, 'Why are you here?' he asks."

Problematic: "...He?"

Me: "...Yes."

Problematic: "Does he still have a ****...?"

Me: "..."

Me: "Get out."

DeTess
2019-01-10, 11:37 AM
This really sounds like a case in which, despite the two of you being friends, you just shouldn't be playing games like these together. I'd tell her exactly what you've told us here as reason why you don't want to DM for her, and either she'll promise to change (in which case invite her in but make sure she understands that you'll kick her out if she continues to act like she does), or she won't, in which case you'll be better off not playing this game with her.

Remember, no gaming is better than bad gaming, and in this case you've got the authority as DM to decide not to invite people you don't enjoy playing with.

Telonius
2019-01-10, 11:51 AM
Yeah, this is an OOC problem with no real in-character solution (that doesn't make things much worse or creepier). There's absolutely nothing wrong with somebody wanting to play a sex-crazed nympho, as long as that's okay with everybody else in the group. I'd suggest talking to her and making it absolutely, explicitly clear what you don't want in your game. (Take some time to figure out exactly what it is). Don't leave any wiggle-room or gray areas. Set ground rules, and specify what's going to happen if she breaks those rules. Hopefully this will be enough to rein her in.

If she breaks those rules, enforce the consequences. Do not feel bad about doing this. You've made it completely clear to her what's expected, and she decided to put her own issues ahead of the discomfort of the rest of the gaming group.

Quertus
2019-01-10, 12:04 PM
Well, you can change yourself, or you can try (and likely fail) to change your friend. Sadly, Mindrape is usually off the table, so you usually can't just change your friends.

So, what is the appropriate way to handle such a social issue? You have apparently already talked to her 1-on-1, and asked her to quit, and she hasn't. Exact details may change my response, but, shrug, get someone with better social skills to respond.

Personally, depending on how things have gone down, I might inquire of the rest of the group as to just how off-putting they find her behavior. If they're willing to make a united front about it, then I'd go the "these are the rules, these are the consequences" route. Be very specific, but allow forgiveness / multiple chances, as changing behavior is hard.

If they unanimously dislike it, but not as much as you do, then it's primarily your problem. Consider what you, yourself, are willing to do.

If they do not unanimously dislike it, shrug it as "that's just who she is", or even actually like her behavior, well, then it's still your problem, with an edge towards "can you change who you are to dislike it less?".

Personally, I would... probably (depending on exactly how it played out)... alternate between mildly annoyed and mildly amused at her behavior, but lean towards the "annoyed", especially if she knows that it bothers someone, but does not stop. Rather, much more than her specific behavior, I would find the "not stopping a behavior that someone else dislikes and has asked you to stop" a strong negative... but would simultaneously find your "disliking something that brings someone else joy" a minor annoyance.

Really, the only reasons I posted were 1) for other Playgrounders to point out any egregiously wrong advice I gave, and say, "don't do that"; and 2) because I'd only heard the phrase "bottom surgery" once before, and was wondering if it was common parlance these days?

MoiMagnus
2019-01-10, 12:14 PM
I never had a player like that in my group, but I already had similar problem with a players that always things to go "wrong".

He was a paladin of a LG good, but he wanted to build a temple of Asmodeos in the city because it gave "bonuses to economy". Anytime you there was something stupid to do (press a random button, ...), he would try to do so. When he was bored during an investigation, he would try to interrogate and intimidate some pillar (literal stone pillars), ...

But our DM managed to understand him, and control him, and he was no longer a problem. Things is that what he wanted was to trigger a reaction from the others. He didn't care if the temple was build, he just wanted to be said "you can't do that, that's THE enemy!". He didn't wanted to start the destruction of the world by pressing the wrong button, but he (as a player) was really happy when my character had a vision of the future and said: "in the next room, there will be a big red button, DON'T PRESS IT or we all die". He ended up with a Tyrannosaurus Rex as a mount, but didn't try to "exploit" it, but he was very happy to make that "sad child that put back a toy in the toy chest" face when we said "you can't take your pet this time".

This player, which could have broke the campaign, became the running gag of the campaign, and was a lot of fun to play with.

You might be in a similar situation with your player (but I may also have misunderstand her), so here are some advices:
1) React when her "jokes" are acceptable.
2) Give some "play area". You don't need to pass time. Just a sentence "I don't need to explain you what neko did this night" can be enough.
3) Control the meta level. Anything you don't want to influence to game, take them as meta remark and say something like "Your character don't think she can manage to seduce him / it is reasonable to try / you hate him too much / other reason, so more seriously, what do you say?", while in situations where it can be an acceptable behavior for the character, take it as in-game remark "He answer 'I'm not interested in s**ts like you.', then he look at Boris and ask 'So, what's your deal?'."
4) Trace clear boundaries on what is acceptable. You must make her feel when it is just a "game" of "kindly annoying each others and faking to be angry at each other", and when her behavior is really problematic.
5) Talk with other players. Some RPG are already fun and interesting at 1 DM and 2 Players, so if all the previous do not work and she ruin the fun of others, you don't HAVE TO keep her around.

Mark Hall
2019-01-10, 12:25 PM
Yeah, I simply wouldn't play with this person.

Willie the Duck
2019-01-10, 01:10 PM
She is very... "sex-crazed" despite never doing it herself and
...
At lunch...

I am going to take these to assume that the both of you are school-aged. My advice to you is to not bring this person into your games. It is not your job to fix this individual's pushing of their sexual hang-ups on others. Steer clear, and if they ask, tell them why -- they are not required to mature, but they are required to do so if they want to game with you.

Max_Killjoy
2019-01-10, 01:44 PM
Maybe I'm being old-man-harsh here, but... this is an issue with the friendship itself, not just the gaming table.

As described, this person displays zero respect for other people's comfort, boundaries, etc... and no respect for their enjoyment of fiction and gaming. The question isn't whether you should game with her, it's how much time you should spend with her at all if she refuses to treat you and those around you with any sort of respect or consideration.

Segev
2019-01-10, 02:57 PM
Maybe I'm being old-man-harsh here, but... this is an issue with the friendship itself, not just the gaming table.

As described, this person displays zero respect for other people's comfort, boundaries, etc... and no respect for their enjoyment of fiction and gaming. The question isn't whether you should game with her, it's how much time you should spend with her at all if she refuses to treat you and those around you with any sort of respect or consideration.

Indeed. Tell her your boundaries and ground rules for what you want in your game. If she won't respect it, don't let her play in it. Being friends goes both ways, and not everything you do needs involve all your friends. I eat dinner at a couple of married friends' house frequently, and even occasionally ask if I can join them if I don't have anything planned and would like company. They're more fond of spicy food than I am, and thus will warn me if they're making something too hot. (They'll also say "no" if they have plans of their own, and that's more than fine, but is somewhat beside the point I'm making here.) It's then my decision whether to participate, knowing they're making something I might not like.

It is not my place to show up, eat the food, and then be all upset that it's too spicy.

Similarly, if you tell her what kind of game you're running and what you do and do not want to deal with at the table, and she shows up and complains or (worse) forces things, she's not being a good friend. She can choose not to play if she doesn't think she can have fun with your rules. She does not have a right to demand to play and then demand to have her way against your and the group's consensus wishes.

Koo Rehtorb
2019-01-10, 03:21 PM
This isn't RPG advice you're looking for, this is people advice.

Tell her all of this. Tell her you're dreading playing with her because of this and that you can't handle it any more. If her reply satisfies you then give her another chance, if it doesn't then don't. And, frankly, as you get older you start getting a better sense of exactly what sort of friends you actually enjoy being around and doing things with and these sorts of problems tend to start sorting themselves out.

kamikasei
2019-01-11, 02:54 AM
my number of real-life friends has grown very thin and she's around me all the time.
Sounds like these facts may be related.

Don't game with people you aren't happy to spend several hours at a time hanging out with. It doesn't sound like you even like this person (understandably!), so don't voluntarily increase your exposure to her.

Try saying "hey, that was weird and makes me uncomfortable, please don't do it around me again" when she pulls the kind of stuff you're describing, give her a few chances, and then point to her repeated disregard for your stated boundaries when you scale back contact / reject invitations.

Mordaedil
2019-01-11, 03:10 AM
While I would say that talking with this person out of game would be the best idea, I think you're kinda stumbling with the idea, even being as direct as you can be, she still doesn't let up and you still like her company enough to play with her regardless and mostly need advice on how to do the game without making her put off the others around the table.

So, while this might run against typical normal advice for immersive game worlds, it might just be the kind of person where you run a less realistic game world. A single-sex world, where everyone is women, where there are no children, people are born full formed from dreams two people share and sex isn't a thing.

If that doesn't work, have encounters specifically for her to vent her sexuality into, so you can kinda brush it off or contain it.

Or if you hate your life, get her to read FATAL ruleset. That's probably the worst idea.

geppetto
2019-01-11, 04:53 AM
This is the sort of problem i remember occasionally having way back when we were teenagers. Try telling your friend extremely bluntly that its obnoxious, and then if its legal try to get her laid. Usually frustrated virgins lay off the sex obsession once they actually experience it.

Malifice
2019-01-11, 05:26 AM
Is it just you that has a problem with it?

I personally dont have an issue with sexualised stuff. The guys I play with and I all go way back so we throw innapropriate jokes out there all the time about taboo stuff.

It did catch me out one time when we had a new player and we all started crapping on with a recurring racist joke (which I wont repeat here). Bear in mind, we're all very liberal IRL, and not racist or sexist in the slightest, with all of us voting for progressive political parties, being human rights lawyers etc so the jokes are more out of irony than anything else.

Anyway, we were all referring to this very wrong joke when I realised we had copied in the new guy by mistake (who must have thought he was playing with the KKK or something). He got it, but we were all mortified.

I guess it comes down to what you're comfortable with. We go to some pretty taboo and dark places with our joking around sometimes, so personally I wouldnt find most of what your player says to be shocking or have a problem with it.

If you do, just have a chat with the player as adults. Im sure they can tone it down or stop.

Darth Ultron
2019-01-11, 11:45 AM
To cover each point:

1.Races in a setting. Really you should avoid being the race exclusion DM. For the DM to just say ''no race X in my game, hahaha', in generally not a good idea. Just say yes. And if your game is so fragile that it will break or be ruined by a race, then you have a bad poorly made game in the first place. You want to do more 'ask' players not to play a race then 'tyrant demand' they don't. But really a cat humanoid race in a fantasy setting is not a big deal....gee, even let her have feet and boots.

2.Ruins characters? Well, you were not to clear on this...how does she ''ruin'' a character? In any case it should not really matter: it is her character. She can ''do'' whatever she wants. It does not matter if you don't like it.

3.Uncomfortable stuff? Really? Like on the scale of ten, you are talking about like stuff at four. It's not even close to the worst. Maybe you are being too sensitive here? Just as you don't like it and it makes you uncomfortable does not make it wrong. And really, a good half of the reason she does it is attention....and a lot of the other half is she knows it will get a rise out of you.

So she will occasional make a sexy joke or reference? A lot like a good half of the human race does? That does not seem to be very disruptive to the game.

Have you tried being the Cold Shower? Like:

*She*: I check out the lich below the waist..hehe

*You*: the lich has no flesh left what so ever and is all bones.


Also, maybe you can make the game play a bit less made for sexy stuff.

For example, avoid: the sexy oiled up firemen humans in loin cloths walk out of the room and say 'can we help you miss?"

And try more: The oily, disgusting wart and puss covered goblins move through the trash, garbage, dung, and mud and say "arrrghhh!'

It's easy enough to shut down such a person in the game, by simply having less sexy stuff...to them. Sure she loves cat people...but what about rat people? Or rat people covered in slime? Or big round pig or cow people? Or insect people? See when you have an NPC Goto who is a dung beetle humanoid covered in dung, she won't have a thing to say....

Another trick...have Cat like humanoids, not humanoid cats. So, for example a Cat like humanoid needs to wear SIX bikini tops to cover up(get it? Have you ever seen a female cat?)

Particle_Man
2019-01-11, 01:01 PM
You could try running Cat of Cthulhu. You play house cats protecting humans from dangerous monsters. Sounds like she will jump at the chance to play a cat. She can even play a male cat.

And what is the one medical operation that people are always reminded to have done to their house cats in order to prevent feline overpopulation? :smallbiggrin:

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/128633/Cats-Of-Catthulhu-Book-I-THE-NEKONOMIKON

Kesnit
2019-01-11, 01:10 PM
I don't want every NPC in my world to be female, to combat her. And I know that she is joking most of the time, but it's really not funny at all and more cringy than anythingI don't intend to be rude, but how do I curb her ways?

Me: "The lich arises and he points a finger at you three, 'Why are you here?' he asks."

Problematic: "...He?"

Me: "...Yes."

Problematic: "Does he still have a ****...?"

Me: "..."

Me: "Get out."

Include gay males. When she tries to get sexual, they rebuff her quite clearly.


Have you tried being the Cold Shower? Like:

*She*: I check out the lich below the waist..hehe

*You*: the lich has no flesh left what so ever and is all bones.


Also, maybe you can make the game play a bit less made for sexy stuff.

For example, avoid: the sexy oiled up firemen humans in loin cloths walk out of the room and say 'can we help you miss?"

And try more: The oily, disgusting wart and puss covered goblins move through the trash, garbage, dung, and mud and say "arrrghhh!'

This is also a good idea.

Malifice
2019-01-11, 01:17 PM
Make sure she never hears of FATAL or she'll likely try and run it.

RedMage125
2019-01-11, 01:41 PM
I'm going to second what everybody said about how this is an OOC issue with a player and should be addressed directly and without subtlety, to her. It's also a good idea to canvas the other players and find out how they feel about her antics. All you need is one or two others to also dislike her behavior to be able to tell her that several people are uncomfortable with it.

I advise ignoring D_U's first 3 suggestions that essentially boil down to saying that "it's a problem with you, not her". If her behavior is making you or others uncomfortable, then it is ABSOLUTELY a problem with her. That said, his suggestions of being the "cold shower", and otherwise making elements of the game as non-sexual as possible are great ideas.



Remember, no gaming is better than bad gaming, and in this case you've got the authority as DM to decide not to invite people you don't enjoy playing with.

This.

I once tried to join a game of fellow sailors playing at my last command. One female (the DM), and 3 other male players. I was told, when I was sitting there making a character, that one of their house rules was that "when you roll a nat 1, something bad and sexual happens to you". Other conversational points made it apparent that this game delved often into sexual proclivities. Now, I am a grown man, been married for over a decade, and in the Navy just as long. I can handle, and even enjoy, occasional dirty jokes. But the kind of game they were running, and the atmosphere it created made me uncomfortable. So I told the DM that a game like that wasn't my bag, and I never went back again. I later learned that the DM had an "open marriage" with her husband who was stationed in another state, and that she was sleeping with one of the other players regularly, and a lot of the D&D game was basically foreplay for them, which was even uncomfortable to the other players. Making me more glad than ever that I had decided to remove myself from the situation.

The difference between my circumstances and yours is that you, as the DM, are the one with the power to curtail that kind of thing. I don't often favor heavy-handed DM tactics where DMs tell a player "no, your character does not do that", but a DM's primary job is making sure everyone at the table is having FUN. If her antics are negatively affecting that for some of your players, then you can absolutely step in and do this.

As an aside, I knew a girl in college like this. She was almost a caricature of the "anime fangirl" stereotype that would squeak when excited, and use Japanese words like "kawaii" and "neko-chan" in high falsettos. She, too, was sexually inexperienced, but made a lot of sexually suggestive remarks and comments. And honestly, a lot of that toned down after she finally did "get some" (as geppetto said). After having some experience about what sex was really like and about, she was a little less eager to make everything seem sexual. Any Freshman-year psychology student can tell you that when a person, male or female, is constantly making sexual remarks, or tries to make situations seem sexual or turn a conversation to sex (especially about themselves or some avatar of themselves, and doubly so in mixed company), it is usually because they desire that kind of attention. It may even be that she's into one of the members of your gaming group, and wants that person to perceive her as sexual. But that's never an excuse for making others uncomfortable.

DrownsInCancer
2019-01-11, 02:01 PM
Like, I don't mind the occasional dirty or sexual joke, as I make these but with her, it is just constant and constant jokes over and over again and also the way she delivers her lines are just cringe worthy. I appreciate everyone's input and I will keep these in mind.

Arbane
2019-01-11, 02:17 PM
Make sure she never hears of FATAL or she'll likely try and run it.

Or worse, Zettai Reido. IT'S FROM JAPAN! :smalleek:

DrownsInCancer
2019-01-11, 02:18 PM
In Response to Darth Ultron

1. You see, normal boots made for humans won't really work for the Tabaxi I had in mind. They don't have humanoid legs, but rather something like the khajiits in Morrowind. Thus needed special tailored boots. My tabaxi are already cat-like humanoids so that's marked out.

2. She "ruins" characters (typically in video games or fiction) by either making one be in a pedophilic or gay ship with another. I don't mind shipping, so what you want I could care less. But she always talks about it until she finds someone else to pair together. I don't mean her D&D character, I mean any fictional character.

3. Too sensitive? I too make the typical sex joke but imagine being friends with someone for 4 or 5 years and almost every day she has something sexual to say. And not only that, her delivery is very horrifically cringy to borderline creepy.

4. It is very disruptive if she has to say something about her character having sex with almost every male character we come across???

Hunter Noventa
2019-01-11, 03:10 PM
She's clearly expecting you to enter her Magical Realm. Never enter the Magical Realm. Check knowyourmeme of urbandictionary if you don't know what I mean.

But seriously, never enter the Magical Realm.

DrownsInCancer
2019-01-11, 03:15 PM
I've been dragged to her magical realm looonnggg ago.

Koo Rehtorb
2019-01-11, 03:18 PM
It sounds to me like you don't want to be friends with this person any more. If that's the case then you should probably stop being friends with her.

Or, a more moderate approach, tell her about these problems that you have with her and if the situation doesn't improve then stop being friends with her.

Particle_Man
2019-01-11, 04:12 PM
She's clearly expecting you to enter her Magical Realm. Never enter the Magical Realm. Check knowyourmeme of urbandictionary if you don't know what I mean.

But seriously, never enter the Magical Realm.

I just learned something today. Not sure I wanted to learn that as my thing for the day, but there ya go. :smallsmile:

Neknoh
2019-01-11, 04:48 PM
I'm pretty sure you actually haven't talked to her about it proper. You say you've said stop whilst she's making jokes.

But you haven't done the "we need to talk."

You need to do that.

Sit her down and go "we need to talk."

Do not fly in her face about things, keep calm and be mature about it, talk to her about how it's too much sex, and how you want to run a more standard fantasy adventure. No need to attack her person (you keep mentioning cringe in every other post, no need to bring that up). There is also no need to introduce a race of neko-people if you already know that she wants to be one only to not let her be one. That feels as if it's nothing but mean on your part. She could play one under the Variant Human rules for instance.

BUt you need to talk to her.

"We need to talk." is a powerful thing to say, but you need to say it and you need to talk, no shouting, no anger, just tell her that you're not interested in shipping, and that constantly joking about sex is just too much for you, and if she's going to play in your game, she's going to have to tone it down a lot, you're not against having fun, it's just a bit too much for the game you want to run.

Darth Ultron
2019-01-11, 05:30 PM
1. You see, normal boots made for humans won't really work for the Tabaxi I had in mind. They don't have humanoid legs, but rather something like the khajiits in Morrowind. Thus needed special tailored boots. My tabaxi are already cat-like humanoids so that's marked out.

This is exactly my point: don't do this: don't be that DM. Don't get way up on your high horse and say ''x is X and it is final, I have spoken''. Changing a small detail won't ''ruin" your game.




2. She "ruins" characters (typically in video games or fiction) by either making one be in a pedophilic or gay ship with another. I don't mind shipping, so what you want I could care less. But she always talks about it until she finds someone else to pair together. I don't mean her D&D character, I mean any fictional character.

Er.... <deleted>



3. Too sensitive? I too make the typical sex joke but imagine being friends with someone for 4 or 5 years and almost every day she has something sexual to say. And not only that, her delivery is very horrifically cringy to borderline creepy.

Well, you know guys think something sexual every every seven seconds and say something every eleven minutes.....




4. It is very disruptive if she has to say something about her character having sex with almost every male character we come across???

My suggested fix here is to avoid attractive male humanoid characters.

The Cats
2019-01-11, 06:03 PM
In Response to Darth Ultron

1. You see, normal boots made for humans won't really work for the Tabaxi I had in mind. They don't have humanoid legs, but rather something like the khajiits in Morrowind. Thus needed special tailored boots. My tabaxi are already cat-like humanoids so that's marked out.

I agree entirely with Darth Ultron on this. Players get to control their characters. You get to control everything else. You shouldn't arbitrarily limit a player's character choices.



3. Too sensitive? I too make the typical sex joke but imagine being friends with someone for 4 or 5 years and almost every day she has something sexual to say. And not only that, her delivery is very horrifically cringy to borderline creepy.

4. It is very disruptive if she has to say something about her character having sex with almost every male character we come across???

You really don't have to defend yourself on this point. It wouldn't bother Ultron but it does bother you. Unfortunately, you're the one DMing, not Ultron. Your annoyance is justified regardless of how many people share the opinion, as long as your reaction to it isn't unduly disproportionate.

Regardless of whether what she's doing is a big deal to other people, it's clearly one for you and it would be much easier for her to stop making so many sexual comments than it would be for you to change your emotional response to those comments. I mean, it's doable, with time and work and commitment so if you think you really need to play with her sure give it a shot, but someone changing the way they feel is a lot harder than someone changing the things they say.

So talk to her. If talking doesn't work, explain that you talked to her and it didn't work (might sounds redundant but making sure she understands why you're taking any further steps you might have to is important). Don't play with someone if it makes the game uncomfortable for you and they're not willing to tone-down their behavior. Even if, like Darth Ultron is of the opinion, their behavior isn't unreasonable, if it makes the game not fun for you, stop playing. That's a reasonable response. Find a game you will have fun with. DnD should not be stressful (except in the 'oh god it's an ancient dragon' kind of way).

Talakeal
2019-01-11, 06:57 PM
Another trick...have Cat like humanoids, not humanoid cats. So, for example a Cat like humanoid needs to wear SIX bikini tops to cover up(get it? Have you ever seen a female cat?)

Oh yeah, that's sure to reduce the number of sex jokes in the game.

zlefin
2019-01-11, 08:40 PM
as an aside; do you know why your pool of real-life friends has grown thin?
If this person is around you a lot, it's possible that their presence has drove some of the others away who were uncomfortable with her; and they choose to just avoid you rather than deal with this problem person who's often around you.

Zhorn
2019-01-12, 12:51 AM
Regardless of what players will or won't be expected to be in a games, I'm always fond of clearly agreeing on the 'social contract' in session zero.

Where to meet
How often
Who brings snack
what you want to get out of the game as a DM
what the players want to get out of the game
Expected/acceptable behaviors at the table <<<


I've gamed with some people with truly questionable world views in the past, but have had decent game experiences with them as they've understood the social contract that was discussed in session zero.