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StevenC21
2019-05-16, 12:55 AM
I'm a DM. I'm not in a very good place right now, but I cannot abandon my players.

We've together put so much time into this game. I can't just let it all go to waste by shutting it down now. I want them to be happy and keep having this.

But it's hard... I'm lacking energy. I can't focus when I'm at the table. I'm irritable, though I hide it reasonably well. I just... I don't know how much longer I can take this.

What do you all do when you just don't have the energy to continue, but you can't let everyone down?

Dimers
2019-05-16, 01:02 AM
Reframing it is a good way to start. It's not "I'm letting them down", it's "I thank you, my friends, for putting my wellbeing and my feelings ahead of your desire to game. It means a lot to me that you care."

Kalashak
2019-05-16, 01:13 AM
Generally if things get that bad for me, Iíll tell the group I need a break. They usually understand, and itís better for the game if we have a planned stop everyone knows about than for me to (from their perspective) randomly vanish

Florian
2019-05-16, 02:37 AM
I'm a DM. I'm not in a very good place right now, but I cannot abandon my players.

We've together put so much time into this game. I can't just let it all go to waste by shutting it down now. I want them to be happy and keep having this.

But it's hard... I'm lacking energy. I can't focus when I'm at the table. I'm irritable, though I hide it reasonably well. I just... I don't know how much longer I can take this.

What do you all do when you just don't have the energy to continue, but you can't let everyone down?

Keep in mind that you already did make them happy and all of you had a good time. You have delivered when you could deliver and that's now over. Period. Simply be honest, tell your players that you lack the drive and energy, put the current campaign on hold and pass the GM hat. There's nothing more to be said and done and especially no feeling of remorse for doing so - the first people youīre responsibly to is yourself, all others are a distant second (unless they are your dependents, like kids).

Pinjata
2019-05-16, 02:48 AM
I'd say sit down with your group and sincerely tell them about your burdens. People can be helpful in such situations.

Kane0
2019-05-16, 03:15 AM
Have a card/board game night instead, swap out for someone else to have a one-shot, go and watch a movie together, meet for a meal and drinks somewhere. Bowling, laser tag, paintball, anything you and your friends are interested in doing.
If you arenít having fun, stop. The important thing is enjoying time with your friends. Explain to them whats going on, most decent people and especially friends tend to be understanding and supportive.

hymer
2019-05-16, 03:36 AM
Smart things have been said. I'll emphasize that this need not be the end of the campaign. Put it on hiatus instead. Write a summary of what's happened while the memory is still fresh, and then take your much deserved break.

Anonymouswizard
2019-05-16, 03:57 AM
As has been said, explain what's happening to your friends and put the game on hold. See if you can find something else to do while you get back in the mood, somebody wise running a campaign, a board games night, a popcorn and terrible movie evening, competitive dramatic readings of Harry Potter fanfic, there's plenty of things a group of friends could do that doesn't stop the campaign from restarting. But as the gambling adverts keep saying: when the fun stops, stop.

JAL_1138
2019-05-16, 03:57 AM
Your players should be understanding, one would hope. You do not need to make yourself miserable to keep a campaign going. Talk with your players, let them know whatís up. Take a break from DMing, maybe see if one of them might want to run, or switch to board games or card games or video games for a while, maybe scale back the frequency of meeting up if socializing is majorly draining (but hopefully donít stop meeting up with them altogetherósocial interaction can help so long as you donít let it completely wear you out). Also, taking a break does not mean the campaign has to end altogether! See if someone will take some notes about whatís happened so far and where you left off, and then you can pick back up on it when youíre feeling better.

And if at all possible, seek professional help for depression, if youíre not already. It can and does help. Depression is not your fault, nor is it any kind of weakness. And there is nothing at all wrong with getting treatment from a doctor for it, same as any other illness. Treatment helps. Speaking from personal experience, from my own issues with depression, it can be hard as hell to work up the strength to start treatment (or sometimes to stick with it if youíve already started it), but itís worth doing in the long run. You do not have to face depression alone.

TheYell
2019-05-16, 04:31 AM
As someone severely limited by depression I would ask to take a break for a month and then come back to it. You seem to be compounding the stress by imagining they will hold it against you; I doubt that is true; you could use a break to ease that pressure off you.

Eldan
2019-05-16, 05:21 AM
I've taken breaks as a DM before, for mostly the same reason. Ask one of your friends to run for a while, at least in my group, there's always someone excited to run some new system they just found.

Altair_the_Vexed
2019-05-16, 05:51 AM
There are a couple of us in my gaming group with depression and anxiety, including myself: I've been in exactly this situation, and I deeply sympathise.
There's a lot of good advice here so far. I can only add another voice to it. Take your choice of what we're all saying, and take your time to let the answer your like best bubble through. Don't worry about being worried.

Good friends, and even decent acquaintances, will understand. You're not letting folk down - you've been carrying their entertainment burden for ages, you deserve to take time off.

Tell the group you need to take a break, and have a casual game of cards next session - or anything else you can just casually chat over.

See if anyone else wants to run something for a while. If you feel like it, promise you will run something too.

Try doing a rotating, loose schedule of GMs. The reduced pressure, letting someone else entertain everyone for a few sessions before it's your turn - it's done wonders for me.
As a rule, we take it in turns to run short games (one or two sessions only), in a shared setting. Each game may or may not link into other people's plots, or may stand alone, it doesn't matter. But when another GM adds to your story, it's fun to work with their new elements - or ignore them.

It may seem counterintuitive, but giving others a chance to mess with the story releases you from the stress of planning ahead.
You can't plan far ahead, because you don't know what someone else will run. You have to have loose plans, and learn not to hold on too tight to them.
It's not a bug, it's a feature! The low burden of planning that comes from this is great.

Friv
2019-05-16, 11:12 AM
Another voice for what everyone else said. And really, try to focus on the fact that a break isn't the same thing as shutting things down. I've tried to run campaigns through rough patches before, and the result is usually that I suffer, the campaign suffers, and my friends worry about me. It's better to say, "Sorry, guys, I need to focus on myself for a bit, does someone else want to take over running a short campaign for a month or two and then we'll resume" or to do other games for a while.

You're not letting people down by taking some time for yourself, even if it feels like it. That is, in a very real way, the depression whispering in your ear.

Grod_The_Giant
2019-05-16, 11:28 AM
Another voice for what everyone else said. And really, try to focus on the fact that a break isn't the same thing as shutting things down. I've tried to run campaigns through rough patches before, and the result is usually that I suffer, the campaign suffers, and my friends worry about me. It's better to say, "Sorry, guys, I need to focus on myself for a bit, does someone else want to take over running a short campaign for a month or two and then we'll resume" or to do other games for a while.

You're not letting people down by taking some time for yourself, even if it feels like it. That is, in a very real way, the depression whispering in your ear.
+1 to all of this.

JNAProductions
2019-05-16, 11:32 AM
Gonna echo those saying "Take a breat"-D&D is about having fun. If you aren't able to have fun DMing, don't DM.

I'll also echo those saying "Talk to your friends"-friends can be a HUGE HELP when you're depressed (I should know-I suffer from it too).

Those who said it needn't be the end are also right. While it can be difficult to take a long break and then get back into a campaign, it's worth a shot. Write that summary, and take as long as you need to off.

Edit: Oh, and I can't believe I forgot to say this.

Good luck handling your depression, and know that you're not alone. A lot of people have the same or similar issues. If there's anything we on the Playground can do to help, please let us know.

jjordan
2019-05-16, 11:50 AM
1) Communicate. Your players care about your welfare. Tell them what's going on and don't be apologetic about it because this isn't your fault. Just be matter of fact about what's going on and start a conversation about solutions.
2) Brainstorm solutions, and just having the conversations is more important than finding actual solutions. Examples:

-Have one of the players run a one-shot in your setting.
-Have all of the players run a one-shot in your setting. Give yourself a little time off and keep the game going.

Bonus points if they connect the one-shot to established elements in your game (Remember that time we accidentally burned down the keep that protected the border town and ran off before we could be arrested? Imagine we're a low-level party riding into town in the aftermath of that mess.)
-Does someone want to run a one-shot or short adventure series in another setting? You could play instead of GM or even just host/watch. Maybe you're helping someone who wants to learn to DM?
-Ask players for assistance cleaning up some of your world. Maybe someone could clean up your maps? Organize some of your notes?
-Does someone want to write a suggested setting/adventure in your world that they'd like to play? They can write that up with a little feedback from you? Or with the help of some of the other players? It builds for when you're ready to come back to the game.

In all of this pay attention to what the players have to add to your world and take some notes. Sometimes that sparks creative impulses that help to fight back the depression.
-Maybe you need to stop playing altogether. Find something outside of the game to do with the players. That will contribute to group cohesion (which will usually improve future games) and keep you in contact with your social group, because you don't want to let the depression separate you from your social contacts.
3) Stay in contact and take the help that is offered. Remember, depression is an attack on you and with the proper medical care, social support, and attitude you can weather this attack and emerge on the far side. You might even form a general plan with your group on how you're going to deal with this. E.G. I'm seeing my doctor next week to review my medications, John is going to run a one-shot next week and I'm going to sit in on that to observe, we're going to do a movie night the week after, Sarah and Abigail have some ideas about the campaign they want to share so we'll find a time to do that, and at the end of the month we'll see where I stand and make some more decisions.
4) I know it hurts, but you've got this.

Kyutaru
2019-05-16, 11:57 AM
I'm going to go against the grain here.

Don't quit. Depression wants you to isolate. The lack of energy and motivation are symptoms to overcome. That's how beating depression works. Taking a break works for some people because they find alternate methods of overcoming those symptoms, possibly because the game itself isn't doing it for them anymore.

Find what you still care about and incorporate it into the setting. Change up how you DM, how you play even, and add some more excitement to the mix. Interact with the players more. Force more social encounters that can't be solved through rolling. Simulacrum an avatar that describes your struggles and watch as the party finds ways to help it. Define your demons and then let them slaughter them.

I've been to the brink and beyond. What works for me may work for you.

JNAProductions
2019-05-16, 12:06 PM
I'm going to go against the grain here.

Don't quit. Depression wants you to isolate. The lack of energy and motivation are symptoms to overcome. That's how beating depression works. Taking a break works for some people because they find alternate methods of overcoming those symptoms, possibly because the game itself isn't doing it for them anymore.

Find what you still care about and incorporate it into the setting. Change up how you DM, how you play even, and add some more excitement to the mix. Interact with the players more. Force more social encounters that can't be solved through rolling. Simulacrum an avatar that describes your struggles and watch as the party finds ways to help it. Define your demons and then let them slaughter them.

I've been to the brink and beyond. What works for me may work for you.

I don't think anyone has said "Isolate".

A good suggestion was to change it to board game night, or go bowling, or whatever. (Also the post just above yours that talks about the players doing one-offs and such.) Isolation is, I agree 100%, a bad idea. But if DMing is a chore and arduous and not fun, DMing is ALSO a bad idea.

Kyutaru
2019-05-16, 12:23 PM
I don't think anyone has said "Isolate".

A good suggestion was to change it to board game night, or go bowling, or whatever. (Also the post just above yours that talks about the players doing one-offs and such.) Isolation is, I agree 100%, a bad idea. But if DMing is a chore and arduous and not fun, DMing is ALSO a bad idea.

So you disagree with me regarding what helped me conquer my depression and wish to suggest the opposite while implying it's a "good suggestion" as though mine wasn't. Okay, thank you for that contribution. I said isolate as withdrawing from the game is a form of that. Everything is arduous and not fun when one is depressed. Going to the gym gives me pain too yet I know it will make me stronger to tough it out.

As I said, what works for me may work for him.

JNAProductions
2019-05-16, 12:24 PM
So you disagree with me regarding what helped me conquer my depression and wish to suggest the opposite while implying it's a "good suggestion" as though mine wasn't. Okay, thank you for that contribution. I said isolate as withdrawing from the game is a form of that. Everything is arduous and not fun when one is depressed. Going to the gym gives me pain too yet I know it will make me stronger to tough it out.

As I said, what works for me may work for him.

And what works for me might work for him.

We've had different experiences.

Kyutaru
2019-05-16, 12:27 PM
And what works for me might work for him.

We've had different experiences.
I agree. I simply didn't explicitly refer to yours as a bad idea. Continuing to DM is my advice.

Max_Killjoy
2019-05-16, 12:31 PM
I'm a DM. I'm not in a very good place right now, but I cannot abandon my players.

We've together put so much time into this game. I can't just let it all go to waste by shutting it down now. I want them to be happy and keep having this.

But it's hard... I'm lacking energy. I can't focus when I'm at the table. I'm irritable, though I hide it reasonably well. I just... I don't know how much longer I can take this.

What do you all do when you just don't have the energy to continue, but you can't let everyone down?


First, take care of yourself. Depression sucks, and it's no joke. Whatever you personally need to treat or resolve your depression, whether it's time or changing your circumstances or therapy or medicine or whatever or some combination, do that.

Second, that feeling that you're "letting everyone down" can be (not is, just can be) a symptom of the depression itself, part of the horrible trap.

Third, if you genuinely want to keep DMing this campaign, perhaps reach a compromise with yourself, and with the group, that you'll do it half as often. If you're doing it every weekend, switch to every other weekend. Give yourself more time to plan and more time to recharge between sessions.

Man_Over_Game
2019-05-16, 01:09 PM
Have a card/board game night instead, swap out for someone else to have a one-shot, go and watch a movie together, meet for a meal and drinks somewhere. Bowling, laser tag, paintball, anything you and your friends are interested in doing.
If you arenít having fun, stop. The important thing is enjoying time with your friends. Explain to them whats going on, most decent people and especially friends tend to be understanding and supportive.

This is actually some solid advice. If D&D takes too much energy, find something that has acceptable energy levels.

That might mean running modules of the players' ancestors (which might reward them with "sentimental" artifacts for their main characters!).

That might mean someone else runs the modules for you.

That might mean you do something entirely unrelated to D&D, and just focus on things that require less maintenance or focus.

Hell, maybe the optimal energy level is zero, and so you want someone to take the reigns while you take some well-needed time off.


Figure out what fits what you need. It doesn't have to be a complete shutdown. Baby steps and all that.

jintoya
2019-05-16, 02:58 PM
I'd make D&D night something else for a little while, it's important to keep your friends around, it helps the depression.
I'm manicly depressed, so I feel this pain too, try to hang in there, I find that cutting drama out entirely helps allot, simplifying things helps also.

for example, when drama starts, just say "I'm dealing with some stuff, I can't get involved.
Keep your decision making simple and don't spread yourself thin, it only leads to more stress and then that leads to depression.
These things make mine more manageable, and I hope it helps you.

Bohandas
2019-05-16, 03:14 PM
If it's actual depression depression you should ask your doctor about prozac or wellbutrin or something

geppetto
2019-05-16, 03:55 PM
If its serious definitely take a break. I was in your shoes after a divorce about 5 years ago and I didnt stop when i should have. Between being in a crap mood all the time and drinking too much I wound up destroying the game and losing a good friend in the process. Sometimes you need a break and not taking it will cause things to get worse.

After that debacle I took 2 years off of gaming altogether and when I came back everything was fresh again and it was the best game I had run in a really long time. Its not always bad to pass the buck for a while and clear the cobwebs.

The Jack
2019-05-16, 04:23 PM
Go for a 10 minute run around the block. Try do at least that once a day, do more if you can. You'd be surprised

Maybe buy some equipment and box with a bag or friend, or get a dog and wrestle with it.

Mr Beer
2019-05-16, 04:57 PM
Dude, it's only a game. Don't assume burdens that don't exist.

If any of your friends were running the game, and you were digging it, and then they said 'hey I'm really struggling with this because xxx, I need to call a hiatus while I get my stuff together', would you consider that a) a cruel rejection of your friendship or b) reasonable?

Note that you are not 'abandoning your friends', you are temporarily uninclined to hold a particular responsibility, that's not even slightly the same thing. Like say your thing was soccer and you had an injury that prevented you from running around for long periods of time, it would be reasonable to swap to goalie for a while to let your injury recover, rather than continue to be the striker.

Let someone else take the big chair and if they don't want to, you can play non-RPGs or do something else. No biggie.

Forcing yourself to continue when you feel it's a huge drag, isn't fun for you and ultimately will make the game not fun for your players. This is the type of decision that becomes really difficult with your job, because you have to pay the bills, but is pretty easy with a hobby.

Requilac
2019-05-16, 06:04 PM
Iím going to have to go against the grain here, because it is best for you and all spectators that this is said. If you are feeling that you are in such a state of distress that you canít function properly, then you should seek help from professionals or sources with a basis found in valid evidence, not random people on forums. The general public is usually well intentioned, yes; but they are ignorant on the effective treatment of mental disorders. Depressive Disorders are a complex topic that have many unanswered questions about them, and misinformation about it has spread like wildfire across the internet. Everybody who has posted so far seems to want to help you, but they may not know how, even if they claim to. People who have experience with a Depressive Disorder may be sure that what worked for them or their friends will cure you too, but treatment for mental illness is dependent on many variables. What works for one person may work for you, but it may just as likely make your condition even worst. Getting advice from fellow sufferers is just as bad as getting it from the general populace, as sufferers have a perception of the disorder that is muddied with the bias of their own subjective experience. Do not trust what the people here have said, even if their logic is solid, they have provided no evidence to back it up.

I know that what you are asking about is specific to D&D rather than help for the Depressive Disorder itself, but your decision on whether to leave this D&D game or not is significant enough to your mental health that it should be informed with the advice of a professional person or source Educated and experienced psychologists will have the best understanding of what could work. Giving up the game could help, but it could also be disastrous to your mental health. You should have the advice of evidence based knowledge on your side when that decision is made. When it comes to Depressive Disorders, what happens with the small things matter much more than one could expect.

If you are currently in therapy, then ask your therapist/clinic what you should do, and they will have a better idea of what is best for you than anybody here will. If you are in therapy, then do some research on what resources are available to you on mental illness counseling. Not all psycho-therapy has to be more expensive than you could handle. Do some research online as to what is available in your area, if possible talk to any counselors at your school or workplace as to what your options are, see if your local library or community center offers any contact information for therapy centers, talk to friends even on where it go if you must. If you are too fatigued to do the research yourself, than ask a trusted friend to do it for you. You do not need to rely on the internet to inform your decisions, and must not if you hope to get better.

To all other posters, I apologize if I insulted any of your intelligences. I am not saying that any of you are stupid or anything like that, I am merely saying that subconscious biases and misinformation can tamper with everyoneís view; I am no exception. This doesnít make any of you an idiot, it just makes you a human. I am just trying to make sure that our Original Poster here makes the best possible decision for themself, I am not trying to insult you all.

JNAProductions
2019-05-16, 06:06 PM
Iím going to have to go against the grain here, because it is best for you and all spectators that this is said. If you are feeling that you are in such a state of distress that you canít function properly, then you should seek help from professionals or sources with a basis found in valid evidence, not random people on forums. The general public is usually well intentioned, yes; but they are ignorant on the effective treatment of mental disorders. Depressive Disorders are a complex topic that have many unanswered questions about them, and misinformation about it has spread like wildfire across the internet. Everybody who has posted so far seems to want to help you, but they may not know how, even if they claim to. People who have experience with a Depressive Disorder may be sure that what worked for them or their friends will cure you too, but treatment for mental illness is dependent on many variables. What works for one person may work for you, but it may just as likely make your condition even worst. Getting advice from fellow sufferers is just as bad as getting it from the general populace, as sufferers have a perception of the disorder that is muddied with the bias of their own subjective experience. Do not trust what the people here have said, even if their logic is solid, they have provided no evidence to back it up.

I know that what you are asking about is specific to D&D rather than help for the Depressive Disorder itself, but your decision on whether to leave this D&D game or not is significant enough to your mental health that it should be informed with the advice of a professional person or source Educated and experienced psychologists will have the best understanding of what could work. Giving up the game could help, but it could also be disastrous to your mental health. You should have the advice of evidence based knowledge on your side when that decision is made. When it comes to Depressive Disorders, what happens with the small things matter much more than one could expect.

If you are currently in therapy, then ask your therapist/clinic what you should do, and they will have a better idea of what is best for you than anybody here will. If you are in therapy, then do some research on what resources are available to you on mental illness counseling. Not all psycho-therapy has to be more expensive than you could handle. Do some research online as to what is available in your area, if possible talk to any counselors at your school or workplace as to what your options are, see if your local library or community center offers any contact information for therapy centers, talk to friends even on where it go if you must. If you are too fatigued to do the research yourself, than ask a trusted friend to do it for you. You do not need to rely on the internet to inform your decisions, and must not if you hope to get better.

To all other posters, I apologize if I insulted any of your intelligences. I am not saying that any of you are stupid or anything like that, I am merely saying that subconscious biases and misinformation can tamper with everyoneís view; I am no exception. This doesnít make any of you an idiot, it just makes you a human. I am just trying to make sure that our Original Poster here makes the best possible decision for themself, I am not trying to insult you all.

I guess I just kinda assumed they were already seeing a therapist/psychiatrist. If you (the OP) are not, then please, go see a professional. We'd love to help, but as Req points out, we're random internet folk. We only know so much about you, and only so much about disorders (even those of us who also suffer).

MoiMagnus
2019-05-16, 06:12 PM
I'm a DM. I'm not in a very good place right now, but I cannot abandon my players.

We've together put so much time into this game. I can't just let it all go to waste by shutting it down now. I want them to be happy and keep having this.

But it's hard... I'm lacking energy. I can't focus when I'm at the table. I'm irritable, though I hide it reasonably well. I just... I don't know how much longer I can take this.

What do you all do when you just don't have the energy to continue, but you can't let everyone down?

I was player in 3 campaigns where the DM entered a depression.

The first one, while I loved the campaign, but we never got to continue it (people moving around the country), the only thing I wish is that the DM would have started seeing a therapist sooner. He is fine now, but it could have been much worse...

The second one, the campaign was slowly deteriorating, and stopping it before would have been better.

The third time was with the same guy than the second. This time, the campaign was not deteriorating, we did continue the campaign, and it was a success. But even in this case, the summer break helped a lot, and the "resolution" of one of the main factors of the depression helped a lot too.

The conclusion of my humble experience is:
1) Your mental health matter, and should be the priority here. You guys have probably accumulated enough good memories to say that "it was a good time", and stopping it is far less "catastrophic" than what you would think.
2) Taking a temporary break is not the end of a campaign.
3) Just because you temporarily stoped having RPG should not mean you should stop seing each others.
4) If you build a lot in this universe, even if you never continue the campaign, what you've build is not lost. I could says here "it still lives in your Players's memories", but I will take a more concrete argument here: I find that the best reward you can give to a player invested in the campaign is for its exploit to be incorporated in the lore of the universe when you use the universe again in another campaign. (One of our player got the capital renamed after its name, for example).

jintoya
2019-05-17, 09:30 AM
snip.

I've gotta agree to a degree here, but I'll also say that I have met allot of prescription happy quacks, and while I think that there are plenty of good, well trained therapists, there are also people... I'll keep my language PG, but they are not all good people.

It depends on where you live, but you should seek help in some form, preferably professional... Just make sure to find a good one.

BWR
2019-05-17, 10:19 AM
It's already been said but bears repeating.

1. get professional help. It really can help.

2. If they really are your friends, they will be fine with you needing a break. If they aren't (which is unlikely - I have yet to meet someone who prioritizes game night over other people's wellbeing), you're better off without them. You don't even have to tell them you're struggling with depression, just say you're under a lot of stress for 'reasons' and need a break. Talk to them about other people running a game, other types of games or pastimes, or even just putting all social interaction on hold, but don't push yourself to run a game if it makes things worse for you.
If it turns out you can't continue, so be it.

Particle_Man
2019-05-17, 11:58 AM
It is perfectly fine to take a break from DMing and that doesn't mean taking a break from your friends. For example, you could become a player and one of them could run a game (either in the same campaign or somethign completely different). Or you could try one of those DMless games, like Microscope. Or just a card game or board game.

TheYell
2019-05-17, 12:06 PM
A lot of us going through issues with depression and I hope the original poster gives us an update

geppetto
2019-05-17, 04:36 PM
Iím going to have to go against the grain here, because it is best for you and all spectators that this is said. If you are feeling that you are in such a state of distress that you canít function properly, then you should seek help from professionals or sources with a basis found in valid evidence, not random people on forums. The general public is usually well intentioned, yes; but they are ignorant on the effective treatment of mental disorders. Depressive Disorders are a complex topic that have many unanswered questions about them, and misinformation about it has spread like wildfire across the internet. Everybody who has posted so far seems to want to help you, but they may not know how, even if they claim to. People who have experience with a Depressive Disorder may be sure that what worked for them or their friends will cure you too, but treatment for mental illness is dependent on many variables. What works for one person may work for you, but it may just as likely make your condition even worst. Getting advice from fellow sufferers is just as bad as getting it from the general populace, as sufferers have a perception of the disorder that is muddied with the bias of their own subjective experience. Do not trust what the people here have said, even if their logic is solid, they have provided no evidence to back it up.

I know that what you are asking about is specific to D&D rather than help for the Depressive Disorder itself, but your decision on whether to leave this D&D game or not is significant enough to your mental health that it should be informed with the advice of a professional person or source Educated and experienced psychologists will have the best understanding of what could work. Giving up the game could help, but it could also be disastrous to your mental health. You should have the advice of evidence based knowledge on your side when that decision is made. When it comes to Depressive Disorders, what happens with the small things matter much more than one could expect.

If you are currently in therapy, then ask your therapist/clinic what you should do, and they will have a better idea of what is best for you than anybody here will. If you are in therapy, then do some research on what resources are available to you on mental illness counseling. Not all psycho-therapy has to be more expensive than you could handle. Do some research online as to what is available in your area, if possible talk to any counselors at your school or workplace as to what your options are, see if your local library or community center offers any contact information for therapy centers, talk to friends even on where it go if you must. If you are too fatigued to do the research yourself, than ask a trusted friend to do it for you. You do not need to rely on the internet to inform your decisions, and must not if you hope to get better.

To all other posters, I apologize if I insulted any of your intelligences. I am not saying that any of you are stupid or anything like that, I am merely saying that subconscious biases and misinformation can tamper with everyoneís view; I am no exception. This doesnít make any of you an idiot, it just makes you a human. I am just trying to make sure that our Original Poster here makes the best possible decision for themself, I am not trying to insult you all.

The only differences between us and the quacks who call themselves mental health professionals are thus

1. We arent trying to fill you with largely untested chemicals we pretend we know the effect of despite mountains of evidence to the contrary.

2. We dont have over blown egos.

3. We actually have experience with the problems instead of just reading about them.

4. We dont charge you an arm and a leg for OUR bad advice.

So called professionals will give the exact same advice, plus drugs. And when it doesnt work they just shrug their shoulders, bill you again and give some other advice that anyone with an ounce of common sense would have also come up with.

Friv
2019-05-17, 04:48 PM
Despite what gepetto claims, mental health professionals are, in fact, professionals. As with any profession, there are going to be therapists who don't fit for you, and you should definitely feel comfortable looking for someone that does (provided you have insurance or coverage, and depending on your country of origin.)

But absolutely, if you feel overwhelmed and are financially able to go looking, you should go looking for help from people who aren't just elfgamers.

(Also, gepetto, as someone whose partner is in fact training in social work and psychology, I can assure you that programs for mental health professionals heavily focus on drawing from people who do, in fact, have personal experience with mental health difficulties.)

BWR
2019-05-17, 05:34 PM
The only differences between us and the quacks who call themselves mental health professionals are thus

1. We arent trying to fill you with largely untested chemicals we pretend we know the effect of despite mountains of evidence to the contrary.

2. We dont have over blown egos.

3. We actually have experience with the problems instead of just reading about them.

4. We dont charge you an arm and a leg for OUR bad advice.

So called professionals will give the exact same advice, plus drugs. And when it doesnt work they just shrug their shoulders, bill you again and give some other advice that anyone with an ounce of common sense would have also come up with.



Your claims are almost exactly the opposite of my experience with professional mental health care, and point one is in many ways flat out wrong. Don't try to convince people to stay away from professional help. That's just about the least helpful thing you can do.

StevenC21
2019-05-17, 05:50 PM
Update since some people wanted it...

I'm not going to leave the game. It's one of the few happy events in my week. I do enjoy most of my prep. The players are really good with taking initiative and coming up with ideas, anyways.

I don't think professional help will be good for me. I've tried 3 separate therapists and it hasn't helped.

I'm just going to keep living. I would like to get some antidepressants, but that's... Difficult for me to do.

Thank you for all your advice.

TheYell
2019-05-17, 06:09 PM
Thank you for replying.

I have had recognized depression for thirty years, I have had about a dozen counselors and six psychiatrists, (I moved a bit) and for me anyway the chemical imbalance in my brain has to be corrected with meds before I can conscious apply the attitude adjustment of therapy. Without the drugs, therapy would be worthless as I would slide into psychotic binary thinking to every situation. The therapy has helped, I notice I am a lot more easygoing than coworkers facing the same stress and I am the most forgiving of my siblings about our childhood.

If you'll forgive some advice, I think 3 is a low number to renounce therapy, and you might try therapy combined with a psychiatric regimen of medication.

Looks like Gaston is in Washington County, they have a link for mental health services here https://www.co.washington.or.us/HHS/MentalHealth/

I found my psychiatrists through county mental health in several states, I have always found they are quality medical care allowing me to find a good therapy program in or out of county health services. I currently get my meds free as I cannot work full time and qualify for indigent care.

Lemme stress I am just sharing what has happened with me, I was a full-time paralegal with a BA and good career and now live with my mother and work part-time, and I feel relatively happy and enjoy stretching my faculties with D&D. I never had the math for bridge. I believe that you can achieve contentment with your situation if you believe its possible and experiment with treatment solutions.

I don't think it wrong to continue but always remember reducing stress is an option that friends will accept you doing.

StevenC21
2019-05-17, 06:22 PM
For the record, this is only one avenue that I'm getting advice from.

I like to get a variety of sources.

I'm getting help elsewhere, too.

TheYell
2019-05-17, 06:27 PM
That's good, this forum is fun but it only goes so far.

I'm glad you still feel free to coordinate your options. I didn't get my stuff together until I was in an involuntary hold and got a caseworker to make sure I got a psychiatrist and a therapist at the same time. I don't always function effectively.