View Full Version : Fatbelly 2: The Baroness' Revenge! Game Started

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2007-10-18, 06:54 AM
Pingcode looks at DLD wolfing down the deep fried mars bar with great gusto, and shrugs. Breaking off a piece, he throws it into his forehead.


Picking up the fallen piece, he Eats the battered Mars Bar.

Note to self: Remember not to eat the fish.

2007-10-18, 07:17 AM
This reminds me of Twinkie Tempura... tasty.

After wiping my chin, I'll eat the Mars Bar.

2007-10-18, 07:37 AM
I will swallow the Mars Bar as well.

2007-10-18, 07:41 AM

* Huggles and eats *

*begs others for some more mars bars*

2007-10-18, 07:45 AM
*DLD growls at Castaras*


Zar Peter
2007-10-18, 07:59 AM
Seeing something that reminds him of chocolate makes Zar Peter go crazy.

He swallows the whole Mars Bar with the paper packing and asks for more!

2007-10-18, 09:27 AM
"Oh thank goodness, it's chocolate." Artemis says with a smile, but her expression quickly changes. "I wonder how the woman will manage to screw this up for me." She grumbles, munching on the deep fried candy bar. Unhealthy snackfood, it's probably just what she needs to lift her spirits, especially after that last course, and will accept any offers.

2007-10-18, 09:33 AM
Wow, I'm second.

I haven't decided on an action for this round yet.

Atreyu the Masked LLama
2007-10-18, 09:35 AM
The llama lays there shaking his head, not having the strength to eat anything else.

*I'll pass*

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-18, 10:43 AM
"Not a witch? I'm not so sure... I mean, she can even teleport" :smallconfused:

I eat the mars bar.

2007-10-18, 10:50 AM
"Salmon, don't you listen? She said she was a witch!" Artemis suddenly realizes everything that could mean. "Has anyone else read the story of Hansel and Grettel?" She asks nervously.

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-18, 10:56 AM
"Salmon, don't you listen? She said she was a witch!" Artemis suddenly realizes everything that could mean. "Has anyone else read the story of Hansel and Grettel?" She asks nervously.

"Oh right.. Sorry. In through one ear out through the other.. y'know? :smallbiggrin:

Wait.. She's a witch!? :smalleek: Oh Crap, Oh Crap, Oh Crap. Yeah i've read that story.. Why.. do you think she'll try to cook us!?"

2007-10-18, 11:01 AM
"You more than any of us. You're a fish for goodness' sake! The Baron got close last year. And Thanatos has dissappeared, who knows what she's done with him."

2007-10-18, 11:07 AM
"Mmm, battery caramelly goodness" i say whilst eating said marsbar

2007-10-18, 11:11 AM
*DLD growls at Castaras*


Castaras glares at DLD and moves a little way away from her.


2007-10-18, 12:01 PM
Eat it.

Accept up to two offerings, refuse any further.

2007-10-18, 12:14 PM
I carefully scrape off the batter and just eat the chocolate.

The chocolate is probably safe, but I don't want to eat too much chocolate. So I will accept one more bar if it's offered, but no more. If I get another bar, I scrape the batter off that one also before eating it. Under no conditions do I eat batter, or paper.

2007-10-18, 12:18 PM
"I LOVE THESE!" Curly seizes her Mars Bar and munches down on the lot.
But she refuses any other offers.

2007-10-18, 12:55 PM
If possible, I'll wrap the chocolate in the paper and eat the whole thing. Otherwise, I['ll just eat the chocolate.

2007-10-18, 01:21 PM
Mmmmm..... Mars Bars.....

Eat and accept offers, although I'm sure none will come my way.:smallbiggrin:

2007-10-18, 01:30 PM
Two portions, Banjo??? I only ate one! No-one offered me anything, and I sure didn't accept anything! -3 please, not -6...:smallfrown:

Having said that, I'll take the Mars Bar. Only one please:smallannoyed:

Raiser Blade
2007-10-18, 01:52 PM
Eats and accepts offers.

2007-10-18, 01:54 PM
I've been reading the old fatbelly thread and just noticed something- I've never eaten anything that caused me to lose points.

That said, the deep fried mars bar that I'm about to eat is going to be bad now that I've jinxed it.

2007-10-18, 04:53 PM
Orzel hungry
Orzel want EAT!!!

*does stuff*

2007-10-18, 05:28 PM
Korias tosses his food towards Smellie Hippie, And refuses all offeres to take food.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-18, 05:38 PM
"Mmmmmmm.... Mars Bar....."

Fullbladder somehow manages to put on a gleeful expression, though how he did this without facial features is too confusing to think about. He slowly savours each bite of the deep-fried item, not as uncommon as Banjo seems to think.

2007-10-19, 03:59 AM
Two portions, Banjo??? I only ate one! No-one offered me anything, and I sure didn't accept anything! -3 please, not -6...:smallfrown:

Raiser B1ade offered you his portion in post 230# and later in 240# you said "I'll accept my portion of haggis", I kind of assumed you meant you were taking both portions. That was probably a bit of a wide interpretation by me though, I should have asked for clarification :smallredface: Consider your -6 reduced to -3, and Raiser's portion will be lost in space...

2007-10-19, 04:02 AM

This is going to go straight to my thighs.

Ill take one deep fried Mars bar.

2007-10-19, 04:03 AM
Time for a quick update!

Just two contestants left to post an action:

Fleeing Coward

There is but one unresolved pass:

Smellie Hippie hasn't accepted or refused the portion offered to him by Korias

As a side note, it's clear that I am making a few mistakes here and there with numbers and stuff, so if anyone thinks I've got something wrong PM me and I'll check through the figures.

The round will end late Saturday afternoon (GMT)

2007-10-19, 07:32 AM
There is but one unresolved pass:

Smellie Hippie hasn't accepted or refused the portion offered to him by Korias

You're right... I missed it. I'll eat his Mars Bar and the paper as well!

Fleeing Coward
2007-10-19, 07:48 AM
Battered Mars Bar? I prefer Snickers but chocolate can't possibly be bad for you so I'll eat it.

2007-10-19, 06:09 PM
I eat the wrapper.

2007-10-19, 06:20 PM
You're right... I missed it. I'll eat his Mars Bar and the paper as well!

Keep an eye out, smellie. I'm gonna be passing ALL my food to you. Your my designated passer.

2007-10-20, 09:47 AM
Right, everyone has posted an action so the round ends now.

However, unforeseen circumstances have left me only half an hour to catch up on all the games I'm in and do this, so the narration and next round will be delayed a little, as I don't have the time to do it justice today.

I'll post the results and the next round around noon Sunday (GMT)

Apologies for the delay everyone :smallredface:

2007-10-21, 05:46 AM
Round Over!

Most of you decide to tuck into the battered chocolate treat, believing that no chocolate could possibly be bad, even if it is deep fried! Plus anything wrapped in paper this greasy couldn’t possibly make you lose weight, right?

Orzel decides not to take that risk. He creeps up behind the ailing Llama as he snuffles something in a hidden nosebag and pulls him to the floor by his hind legs. Roaring wildly, the known cannibal rips into the stricken Llama tearing at his throat and guts. You watch in abject horror as the Llama breathes his last and Orzel crouches down to eat his meal.

Lord Fullbladder, DLD and Pingcode look down to find there packages have been stolen, DLD is ready to lynch whoever did it after her excitement at seeing the course. Strangely two of them calm down soon after and seem satisfied anyway.

Smellie Hippie again accepts Korias’ portion and tucks into it with relish. For once it seems like the Baroness has been kind, the batter is light and crispy, and the melted chocolate and caramel underneath have mixed together in a great gloopy mess that you can’t help smacking your lips at as you taste it. There isn’t even any nasty surprise in the wrapping paper; Khaldan and Stu42 find it acceptably greasy but not too filling.

In fact, as you sit back and ruminate over the food you’ve just eaten, you decide that it was possibly the best course you’ve had so far. If it wasn’t for Orzel gnawing at a hairy llama leg on his bunk you could almost be happy.

Food Effects

Eat Battered Mars Bar – filling and tasty, +3 Munchies
Eat wrapping – greasy, +1 Munchie

Atreyu the Masked Llama was eaten by Orzel!

2007-10-21, 06:26 AM
Round 7

Almighty Salmon|3|+3|15
Atreyu the Masked Llama|3|+1|Eaten!
Fleeing Coward|2|+3|13
Lord Fullbladder|1|+3|18
Mr Edward Nigma|3|+3|18
Raiser B1ade|2|+8|19
Smellie Hippie|2|+9|20
Zar Peter|3|+4|13[/table]

By the time you awake the next morning Orzel has thankfully finished his meal, and has either eaten the bones or disposed of them. You’re still quite full from the wonderful deep fried Mars Bars yesterday, but the Baroness soon teleports in to introduce the next course.

“Where’s the quadraped? I do hope none of you got carried away.”

She laughs and glares pointedly at Orzel.

“Oh well too late I suppose! No matter, the next course should split you right down the middle…metaphorically of course.”

The Baroness clicks her fingers, conjuring onto the table the biggest pizza you have ever seen. It stretches five feet across the table and overhangs either side, the topping kept in check by a light looking stuffed crust. The topping is incredibly varied, but is covered everywhere by a layer of brown paste that gives of a strong but not unpleasant scent.

“This is my Marmite & Margarita Pizza. Don’t even think about just eating the crust, as that’s filled with Marmite too! Make your choices, you’ll either love it or you’ll hate it.”

The Baroness teleports out without another word, leaving you with the massive pizza. Some of you don’t even know what Marmite is, so is it worth taking the risk?

Just as you are about to decide, you hear a truck engine outside, the first noise you’ve heard from outside the mansion in some time. You hear doors being opened and the rattling of something metallic. You’re not sure you want to see what’s going on outside, but curiosity never hurt anyone, right?

Food Options

Eat a slice of Marmite & Margarita Pizza
Try and scrape the Marmite off before eating a slice
Just scrape off the marmite and eat that
Offer your slice to someone else
Refuse the pizza and take a look out the window

Note – As usual all steals and special ability uses should be PM’d to me, though if you want to let people know about your abilities for your own purposes then that is your own decision.

The round will end Tuesday morning (GMT)

Good Eating!

2007-10-21, 06:40 AM
I'm going to eat a slice.

I'll accept anything people want to give to me.

2007-10-21, 08:15 AM
Well, the marmite smells good, so I'll just have some of that. The pizza however... Well, lemme put it this way: whatever needs to be covered in marmite to look good, probably isn't that good at all!

2007-10-21, 09:44 AM
*DLD shakes her head and looks out the window instead*

2007-10-21, 10:15 AM
Artemis jumps up to look out the window, and if anything's offered to her she'll scrape off the marmite and eat it (or do both if it's possible). Although Marmite sounds a little like that wonderfully flamable stuff, Thermite, maybe nothing will happen if she didn't eat the pizza itself.

2007-10-21, 10:39 AM
Wow, I'm second:smallsmile:

As for the marmite thing, it sounds like it will be randomised between +n and -n where n is enough to take me out of second place.

I'm going to scrape the marmite off and eat it, as well as accepting marmite from everyone else. If I get offered pizza, I'll scrape off the marmite and eat that. If I'm going to get my first negative here, I'm going to do it properly.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-21, 10:45 AM
Quick note of correction: Lalamas, being four legged, are quadrapeds. Quad = Four, Bi = Two. Asking 'where is the biped' is essentially asking 'where is everyone except Llama'

Fullbladder takes the cautious approach and refuses the pizza, choosing instead to look out the window.

Raiser Blade
2007-10-21, 11:36 AM
Hey banjo i told you that i would eat both portions wrapper and all in that pm i sent you. I should be +8 not +6.

Anywho i will offer my marmite to castaras.

And i will offer my pizza to artemis97.

2007-10-21, 01:27 PM
Marmite is evil I'll offer my slice to Hippie and look out of the window if that's also possible.

2007-10-21, 03:25 PM
I will choose to not eat a slice of pizza, and instead look out the window.

.....however, I will accept the slice offered by CKG and the soon to be offered slice from Korias. I will refuse all others.

Zar Peter
2007-10-21, 03:43 PM
I'll eat my pizza with marmite (whatever this is)

I'll accept offers.

2007-10-21, 05:34 PM
I will eat all of it, and any and all offers.

2007-10-22, 01:04 AM
I will offer my slice to Stu42.

I will accept up to three offers. The first, I will eat whole. The second I will scrape the marmite off of. The third I will eat the marmite alone. Any further offers will be refused.

2007-10-22, 04:24 AM
Ill put marmite on my pizza and eat it.

2007-10-22, 04:26 AM
Hey banjo i told you that i would eat both portions wrapper and all in that pm i sent you. I should be +8 not +6.

Anywho i will offer my marmite to castaras.

And i will offer my pizza to artemis97.

Your right, I'll edit the table...

2007-10-22, 06:24 AM
Since Smellie already wants my peice, I give him my slice of pizza.

2007-10-22, 07:19 AM
I will eat my pizza with marmite, however I won't accept any more.

2007-10-22, 10:13 AM
Something about the post makes me suspicious, the "You'll either love it or hate it" part. I like marmite a lot, but I don't think RL preferences will come into it. I think I'll go refuse and look out the window, but if anyone offers me any, I'll take theirs.

2007-10-22, 10:39 AM
Well then, ill offer mine to elzo, and look out the window.

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-22, 04:57 PM
I refuse my Pizza and look out the window.

Maybe there's someone out there who will see us and help!

2007-10-22, 09:25 PM
I refuse everything, period.

2007-10-22, 10:16 PM
evnafets' ghost floats down. Why aren't you all eating your Marmite? its mar-mighty good!

2007-10-22, 11:21 PM
I scrape off the marmite and save it for later, then eat the pizza.

2007-10-22, 11:41 PM
I steal whitehelms food and eat everything.

Raiser Blade
2007-10-23, 12:33 AM
I try to eat evnafets ghost.

Fleeing Coward
2007-10-23, 01:38 AM
This pizza doesn't look too good but Salmon + open window has possibilities.
Fleeing refuses the pizza and goes over to the window hoping it's large enough to throw a salmon through. :smallbiggrin:

2007-10-23, 04:58 AM
Round over!

Some of you remain unsure of what exactly marmite is, but dig into the pizza anyway, anything that looks so unpalatable can’t be bad, can it? Ignoring the noise a lot of you decide to tuck in, some into the whole pizza, and some decide just to lick the brown sticky mess off the top of it.

Smellie Hippie finds his slice of pizza fought over between three unseen assailants and it disappears in a whirl of arguing and shouting. Hippie isn’t too bothered though, as Curly and Korias make sure he still has plenty to eat. The differences around the table are staggering. Half the people that eat the marmite bite into it with relish, enjoying the rich taste and cloying scent as it fills their stomachs and splashes around their mouths. The rest of you find the strong savoury taste absolutely disgusting and start gagging uncontrollably. To you it tastes as if there’s a party going on in your mouth and everyone is throwing up! You desperately cough up and spit out the disgusting pizza, barely hanging onto the rest of your full stomachs as you do so.

Mr Edward Nigma and a few others decide to scrape off the marmite and just eat that. They find the same results, just to a lesser extent. The great taste is not quite so strong, but neither is the disgusting taste quite so bad.

Evnafets' ghost appears, extolling the virtues of marmite to the surviving competitors, only to have a hungry Raiser Blade leap at his ethereal form. Fortunately the little trogdor flies straight through, bumping his head on the wall behind Evnafets, letting the fallen competitor make a quick escape. He’s not going to let Raiser eat him twice!

Stu42 and Fleeing Coward decides that the pizza underneath should be disposed of humanely, and run over to where Artemis, DarkLightDragon, Onasuma and several others are peering out of the broken window. They sling their pizza through the hole caused by the enraged Dragonprime and then stop stock still in shock at what they and the others can see.

The room you are in is indeed far above ground level, though whether it’s 25 stories or not is hard to determine. The room looks out onto the rear of the mansion and the business entrance. A short distance away from this old wooden door a grubby-looking white van has parked up, and three burly men in dirty grey overalls have already got out. A slight woman in a business suit goes out to meet them, the Baroness. The men open the back of the van and bring out metallic objects that clink and clash together as they walk towards the mansion. You crane your heads out to see what exactly they’re carrying, only to wish that you hadn’t. Each man carries an armload of assorted manacles, chains and wicked looking knives and thin blades that look like razors or scalpels. As they walk past her and take their disturbing cargo into the mansion, the light glints off the Baroness far away eyes and they seem to flash an evil scarlet. The effect immediately fades, and you’re left wondering whether you saw it at all.

You have a really bad feeling about what you’ve seen as you relay to the rest of the competitors. What the Baroness does in her spare time is her own business, but you can’t help wondering whether she’s ordered the equipment especially for you.

You have trouble sleeping tonight.

Food Effects

Eat a slice - +3 Munchies or -3 Munchies, decided randomly
Eat the marmite - +2 Munchies or -2 Munchies, decided randomly
Eat the pizza – bland but not unpleasant, +1 Munchie

2007-10-23, 05:48 AM
Round 8

Almighty Salmon|3|0|15
Fleeing Coward|2|0|13
Lord Fullbladder|1|+1|19
Mr Edward Nigma|3|-2|16
Raiser B1ade|2|0|19
Smellie Hippie|2|-6|14
Zar Peter|3|-3|10[/table]

It’s with heavy hearts that you wake up the next morning. The Baroness said there would be 12 courses; you doubt she’d do anything before then, but what about when it’s over? Your minds swirl with paranoid thoughts as you wait for the 8th course to be introduced. The Baroness turns up at midday, later than usual, again it just cranks up your unpleasant thoughts, what business was the Baroness attending to, and what does it mean for you?

The Baroness looks around at the assorted looks of fear, paranoia and impotent anger and then looks at the broken window.

“Been peaking have you? I hope you didn’t see anything that you didn’t like?”

The Baroness chuckles at her own words and clicks her fingers at the window.

“There that should improve your view. I must explain that I have some rather…unusual pastimes, and people that I need to tell me important information. Sometimes they can be rather reticent, despite my friendly hospitality, so I have to give them a little…motivation. That equipment will not come anywhere near any of you in here, I can assure you!”

Somehow you’re not quite convinced. Either way the Baroness clicks her fingers and conjures the next course. In front of each of you is now a fine looking dessert. It’s quite difficult to make out much of the dessert, as it is covered in rich looking custard, but it smells strongly of toffee. The custard bubbles with heat but otherwise looks and smells delicious.

“This is Super Sticky Toffee Pudding and custard, the first dessert of the contest. I do hope it is to your liking.”

The Baroness teleports herself out, leaving you with the pudding. Do you eat it, or are you too worried about what the Baroness has done to then window?

Food Options

Eat the pudding
Eat just the custard
Offer your pudding to another
Look out of the window

Note – As usual all steals and special ability uses should be PM’d to me, though if you want to let people know about your abilities for your own purposes then that is your own decision.

The round will end Thursday morning (GMT)

Good Eating!

2007-10-23, 06:33 AM
As always, Korias passes his custard/pudding to Smellie Hippie. (Make Shaggy Proud, Smellie)

He also looks out the window, gazing longingly for freedom.

2007-10-23, 06:58 AM
Mmmmmmm coffee pudding/custard!! :smallbiggrin: I'll accept Korias' portion and eat my own as well!

I will also accept up to two more offers... but any more than that and I might start twitching from the caffeine. :smallamused:

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-23, 07:01 AM
I eat the pudding!

2007-10-23, 07:04 AM
Eating as much pudding as possible!

Will accept anything!

2007-10-23, 07:11 AM
I eat it anyway, despite my misgivings!

2007-10-23, 07:14 AM
I think I've actualy had this stuff before. Well it was tasty then and I hope it is now.

Eat the Pudding and any offered to me.

2007-10-23, 11:47 AM
"Mmm, custard! But just what is the brown lump underneath it. Id better leave that" I think whilst eating the custard and everyone elses that comes close enough.

2007-10-23, 11:52 AM
Helgraf offers the pudding to Korias. He will accept no offers this round.

2007-10-23, 12:36 PM
I'll take the custard, and accept all offers of custard.

2007-10-23, 12:38 PM
Helgraf offers the pudding to Korias. He will accept no offers this round.

Korias takes Helgraf's pudding and passes it to Smellie Hippie. If that isnt possible, he refuses the pudding.

2007-10-23, 12:44 PM
I will give my custard to Cassie.

Raiser Blade
2007-10-23, 12:54 PM
I offer mine to teh hippie.

2007-10-23, 01:52 PM
I'm eating my custard. No pudding for me, I HATE sticky food.

Zar Peter
2007-10-23, 02:21 PM
I'm eating my custard. No pudding for me, I HATE sticky food.

Yes, me too! Just the custard, please!

2007-10-23, 02:26 PM
I offer mine to teh hippie.

MINE!! :biggrin:

Oh, and if Korias can re-pass his to me... I'll take that one too! :smallamused:

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-23, 05:26 PM
The Fullbladder eats the meal. He eats the plate, too. If possible he'll try to take a bite out of the table.

To quote FatBot, "I get hungry when I'm nervous."

2007-10-23, 05:55 PM
Hmm, there's pudding and a window.

I'm going to look out of the window and if the baroness is there, attempt to throw the bowl of pudding at her.

I think I know what the last course is:
Cake. And a cookie for getting the reference

2007-10-24, 07:38 AM
Super sticky? No thanks!

*DLD decides there's something not right about the pudding and instead licks off and eats the custard. She then sniffs around the door to see if she can smell something apart from the toffee that might hint at what's going on*

I tell you, when that baroness shows up again, I'm going to give her a piece of my mind!

*DLD roars*

And maybe I'll attempt to slash her a bit. Not that it will do much, but she might teleport out sooner and spare us the hell of her company

2007-10-24, 02:09 PM
A quick update:

So far 16/22 competitors have posted an action. There are six left:

Fleeing Coward
Whitehelm (special dispensation not to be docked Munchies, being in California and all)

There are no passes to resolve at the moment. Korias can pass on something he's already been passed, so Smellie Hippie can accept it! I'm going to extend the deadline by 12-24 hours as so many people haven't posted an action. The round will now end either Thursday evening or Friday morning (GMT)

2007-10-24, 02:53 PM
Eat, eat, eat the sticky toffee pudding. Refuse everything else.

2007-10-24, 05:46 PM
I eat everything!

2007-10-24, 06:49 PM
I will steal cassies food in front of her face and eat everything!

2007-10-24, 07:02 PM
I'm refusing everything, again. I'm holding out for a while to see what happens.

2007-10-25, 04:03 AM
Another very quick update:

Fleeing Coward and Orzel still need to place an action.

Khaldan you can't steal Cassie's pudding, blatant or not, as you have run out of steals for the game!

Just a reminder for those of you with 3 steals still remaining. You can only use 1 steal per round, so it's getting to the point now that if you want to use them all there are only 4 rounds remaining. If you're planning to use tham make them count :smallbiggrin:

Fleeing Coward
2007-10-25, 04:58 AM
I'll eat the pudding.

2007-10-25, 06:19 AM
Can one pass steals to another person? If so, I pass my three steals to Khaldan.

2007-10-25, 07:09 AM
Can one pass steals to another person? If so, I pass my three steals to Khaldan.

Unfortunately you can't pass your steal actions onto others, they represent your capacity to sneak away other peoples portions, which can't be transferred.

For the next game I may let you create your own participants with a points buy system. You would by your special abilities, number of steals, starting Munchies etc, allowing you to forgo your steals for another tasty ability. I'm not sure of this yet though, it's just an idea I have.

2007-10-25, 07:14 AM
Round Over!

After your last peak through the window many of you decide that ignorance is bliss and instead turn to the pudding with varying amounts of suspicion. It really is very difficult to see what’s lurking underneath the thick layer of custard, so many of you slurp at the custard rather than the whole pudding, trying to avoid whatever is underneath.

Radikalskippy passes his custard to Castaras and the young pieomancer eagerly pours it into her own bowl for a double helping. Zar Peter, DLD and the others that concentrate on the custard find that it tastes exactly like any custard they’ve tasted in the past, though the quality is good and there is a slight toffee taste to it that must have leaked out of the pudding underneath. All in all it is tasty and safe, but it doesn’t exactly fill your bellies, not even two portions!

Almighty Salmon decides to be brave and tuck into the whole pudding, only to find it swiped away before he can dunk his spoon in! Smellie Hippie mistakes the dish for coffee pudding and the caffeine loving guy shouts for as many portions as he can. Korias, Helgraf and Rasier B1ade all oblige, leaving Hippie with a feast of pudding before him. He produces a bucket from somewhere on his person and empties everything into it, then dunks his head into the seething yellow and brown mass. He comes up for air looking slightly confused but licking his lips gleefully.

“Hey I though this was supposed to be coffee?! Oh well, it sure tastes great anyway!”

Smellie Hippie immerses himself again, and a lot of you decide to dig into your own portions based on Hippies endorsement. It does indeed taste great, it has a rich toffee taste and the custard sets it off brilliantly. North, Khaldan and the others eat heartily, while Lord Fullbladder looks on in amazement as someone steals the custard from his dish while leaving the pudding intact! He eats the plate to make up for it, crunching through the porcelain with mechanical efficiency. By the time you’ve all finished you are all munching happily, feeling fuller than you have in a long time. Artemis tries to open her mouth to speak.

“Mmph! Mfffuzzleshug.....bffffrgh!”

Shocked, you try to speak yourselves, only to find your mouths stuck shut by the remnants of the pudding. It looks like you won’t be eating next round! The custard eaters and refusers start laughing at the show going on before them, until Stu42 and Korias speak out in fear from their vantage point at the window.

“Err guys, I think something weird is going on…”

You crowd around the window, looking to see if Stu42 managed to hit the Baroness with his pudding. Can puddings survive in a swirling grey vortex of soundless wind and flashes of lightning? Well you can’t see it, that’s for sure. The view outside the window has completely gone, to be replaced by impenetrable swirling greyness massed right up to the window. There is no light, no sound, it’s like being in limbo. Either the Baroness has conjured a vortex to obscure your view, or she has moved the whole room to some other dimension!

You try not to think about the second option. At least half of you couldn’t discuss it even if you wanted to.

Food Effects

Eat whole pudding - +4 Munchies
Eat custard - +1 Munchie

Anyone who ate at least one full portion of pudding can’t chose to eat their portion in Round 9. However, you can still eat what’s passed to you, secret stashes etc and you can still participate by passing thins to others or stealing. Don’t ask how you manage to eat your stash or what you steal, you’re probably better off not knowing!

2007-10-25, 07:31 AM
Round 9

Almighty Salmon|3|0|15
Fleeing Coward|1|+8|21
Lord Fullbladder|1|+3|22
Mr Edward Nigma|3|+1|17
Raiser B1ade|2|0|19
Smellie Hippie|2|+16|30
Zar Peter|3|+1|11[/table]

The room that you have lived in for the last week is more silent than usual when you wake up. A lot of you still have your mouths stuck shut, and the vortex outside prevents any sounds from outside from reaching you, it’s amazing how you don’t notice the subtle noises of the wind and wildlife until they’re gone.

The Baroness teleports in, as she has done for the last few days, she doesn’t seem to bother using the door anymore. She decides to ignore the looks of silent anger and hatred, instead getting straight down to business.

“I’ve been thinking about what Mr Edward Nigma said earlier in the contest, and I agree, the dishes I’ve served up haven’t really stood up to a lot of the Baron’s creations. It is difficult to put the same skill into a conjured meal as one crafted by hand. Take this next course as my attempt at putting this right, I do hope you enjoy it.”

Many of you find it ironic that she claims she’s trying her best for you when you can’t eat this round, but she clicks her fingers and conjures the next course nonetheless. Appearing in front of each of you is a small plate of little dark spheres awash with a similarly dark liquid. It smells slightly fishy and looks far from appetising, but being the cultured wizard, Mr Edward Nigma claps his hands in delight.

“It’s caviar! Hurrah finally we’re getting somewhere!”

The Baroness smiles, seeming genuinely happy.

“Yes that’s correct. This is special Beluga Caviar, a dish made from the eggs of a great white whale that breeds in an ocean not too far from here. I do realise that whales give birth to live young, but every now and again you do get a genetic freak…and this dish is the wondrous result! I hope you enjoy it.”

The Baroness teleports away again, but you catch the sound of her normal evil laughter as she leaves, putting doubt into your minds over her sentiments. Caviar is supposed to be a foodstuff fit for royalty, but is it worth giving it a try?

Food Options

Eat the Beluga Caviar
Offer your Caviar to someone else
Refuse the Caviar altogether
Get spooked by the laugh and try to force open the door

Remember – Anyone who ate the toffee pudding last round cannot use the first option this round, though you can decide to eat passes and steal from people normally. These participants are Artemis, Cassie, Curly, Fleeing Coward, Khaldan, Lord Fullbaldder, North, Pingcode & Smellie Hippie.

Note – As usual all steals and special ability uses should be PM’d to me, though if you want to let people know about your abilities for your own purposes then that is your own decision.

The round will end either Saturday or Sunday afternoon (GMT) depending on my other commitments.

Good Eating!

2007-10-25, 07:33 AM
Yummy! Caviar!

I'll eat mine, please!

2007-10-25, 09:24 AM
"I say! Its the good stuff, hey? Mmm, salmons babies-y."
I then procede to eat my cavier.

2007-10-25, 09:28 AM
This is getting creepy.

Here ya go!Korias passes his caviar to Smellie Hippie, and then bolts for the door. Open!, I command thee!

2007-10-25, 09:33 AM

Castaras stomps over to the door and tries to force it open. Magical writing created through her magic appears beside her in a cartoony speechbubble.

How dare she?! How DARE she stop me from eating?!?! :smallfurious:

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-25, 10:30 AM
Godammit Fleeing Coward!

He turns towards his arch enemy.

Would you STOP eating my food!

I dont eat the Caviar instead i try to force open the door.

2007-10-25, 10:45 AM
Beluga caviar? From beluga whales?! that's not right, thet isn't right at all. Whales are mammals, they don't lay eggs. Caviar comes from Sturgeon, fish from the Black Sea. Haven't they been fished into near extinction? O was it the pollution? Either way, I'm sort of glad my mouth is stuck shut. I wonder if the door is the same way... Artemis shoves her plate at Korias, then walks to the door and tries to open it.

(If I can only do one thing, I'll try to open the door.)

2007-10-25, 12:15 PM
I'm going to.... hmmm.... I think I'm going to pass it to the Hippie.

2007-10-25, 01:12 PM
"Mrphl musshfargles wstfglshlarggh."* Curly also tries to open the door.

* "I hate cavier. And this is annoying."

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-25, 01:47 PM
Fullbladder merely opens up his chest and pulls out his premade subtitles, setting them up just below and to the left of his head, as he switches to basic Cybertronian language, which doesn't actually require a mouth.

"Allow me to help you with that door, perhaps."

The language being spoken can't actually be heard without an electronic brain, but the subtitles make it clear enough.

He goes over to throw his shoulder aainst the door with the others doing it.

2007-10-25, 02:32 PM
Beluga caviar? From beluga whales?! that's not right, thet isn't right at all. Whales are mammals, they don't lay eggs. Caviar comes from Sturgeon, fish from the Black Sea. Haven't they been fished into near extinction? O was it the pollution? Either way, I'm sort of glad my mouth is stuck shut. I wonder if the door is the same way... Artemis shoves her plate at Korias, then walks to the door and tries to open it.

(If I can only do one thing, I'll try to open the door.)

Korias shoves this new plate to Smellie Hippie, or back to Artemis if he cant do that.

2007-10-25, 03:08 PM
evnafets' ghost pokes his head through the door. Heeeeeeeres Evvie! ooooo Caviar! Got anything for a starving ghost?

Zar Peter
2007-10-25, 03:16 PM
I'll eat the caviar.

But only if it doesn't taste too much like fish :smallyuk:

Raiser Blade
2007-10-25, 03:54 PM
Pass to da hippie.
Also i try to keep the door closed/ It's a trap!

2007-10-25, 05:45 PM
“It’s caviar! Hurrah finally we’re getting somewhere!”

"But wait, whale eggs? I'm not sure if... Oh well, it's caviar! What could possibly go wrong?"

MrEdwardNigma digs into his portion and will accept up to two passes.

2007-10-25, 06:14 PM
Great, if we're in some kind of vortex, my escape plan of disemboweling a few people, tying their intestines together and using it as a rope won't work.

I'm not going to eat the caviar. Caviar looks like rabbit poo and since whale eggs don't exist, it probably is.

2007-10-25, 07:04 PM
"I DO NOTHING" says Orzel

then he punches a servant in the nose.

then he sniffs the marmite he saved from rounds before.


2007-10-25, 08:44 PM
Khaldan takes the plate, and throws it at the window. he will also attempt to throw anyones plate who has refused their portion, and then he will check the window. if nothing is there, he checks the door, and beats a servant into it if it does not open.

2007-10-25, 09:09 PM
*smellie_hippie sits patiently in the corner watching Star Trek IV. He thinks to himself as he looks around the room.... THIS is what happened to the whales, and why that probe attacked Earth. :smalleek: This is the answer! I know how to save the world! Goddammit, I can't TALK! :smallmad: Maybe if I had something in my mouth...*

I accept Korias' pass of caviar.

*I still can't talk! There must be something else that I'm not thinking of...*

I accept Ezlo's pass of caviar.

*Think hippie, THINK! What would Chairman Kaga do?*
He'd probably talk to Alton Brown.
*Who said that? Helloooo? :smalleek: Echo... echo... echo... o... :smallamused: Coooool. :smallcool: *

I accept Korias' repass of Artemis caviar.

Oh... and I'll offer my whale eggs to RadikalSkippy.

2007-10-26, 01:20 AM
*Shoves his plate to the landfish*

2007-10-26, 08:22 AM
No way. I'm not eating that stuff either!

*DLD refuses the food*

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-26, 02:47 PM
*Shoves his plate to the landfish*

I am no cannibal, even if Whales don't lay eggs.

I refuse the offer.

2007-10-27, 09:28 AM
A quick update

I'm waiting for 4 people to post actions:

Fleeing Coward

I willl extend the round until Sunday morning (GMT) so that the remaining competitors have chance to post.

Fleeing Coward
2007-10-27, 05:31 PM
Though he is unable to open his mouth due to the pudding, Fleeing Coward is smmling broadly having not not stolen Salmon's pudding.

He sprinkles some chocolate onto the caviar and passes it to Almighty Salmon hoping to fool it into eating his own kind.

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-27, 06:05 PM
Whats this? Chocolate? Well, i do like- Wait a second! This is the same course! You stinkin' coward!

I shove the food back in Fleeing Cowards direction.

2007-10-27, 06:51 PM
I pass my caviar to Smellie

2007-10-27, 10:50 PM
Helgraf will eat the caviar.

If any offers have been made, he will accept the first one and refuse the rest.

2007-10-28, 02:26 AM
I eat my caviar. I eat all offers of caviar.

I figure if people are being prevented from eating this stuff, it's gotta be good.

2007-10-28, 05:41 AM
I eat my caviar. I eat all offers of caviar.

I figure if people are being prevented from eating this stuff, it's gotta be good.

Unless they're using reverse psychology on us, off course. On the other hand, maybe it's reverse reverse psychology, and we're fine!

But what if it's reverse reverse reverse psychology?

2007-10-28, 09:06 AM
Round Over!

In panic, Curly, Almighty Salmon and five others run to the door, spooked by the Baroness’ laughter and determined to force your way out. Raiser B1ade warns them against it, frantically waving his stunted wings and sending streams of steam out his nostrils.

“It’s a trap guys, don’t try to go out there!”

Raiser is overwhelmed by sheer numbers and is left to weakly protest as the others mass around the sturdy portal. You throw your weight against it one by one, but the door doesn’t budge an inch. In panic you all decide to push against it together, but to no avail. You slump down, tired and dispirited, and watch the other competitors wolf down their meals.

Smellie Hippie again finds his part of the table full of offered portions, which he decides to consume despite his stuck mouth. This initial portion is stolen away by two wrestling figures before he has a chance to give it to Skippy. Onasuma, Zar Peter and several others also decide to tuck into the caviar. After a few tastes you all really wish you hadn’t. The dark source tastes like sewage of the worst sort and it hides even worse underneath. Whatever the spheres are, they definitely aren’t like any caviar you’ve ever seen. Each ball bursts in your mouth with a shower of sour pus and disgusting bile. You immediately start bringing the stuff back up, coughing and choking in the rush to get the dross out of your systems.

Smellie Hippie & Whitehelm really start to struggle, having eaten more than the rest. They start groaning loudly and painfully, there stomachs visibly rolling and vibrating. Khaldan slings his plate at the window to get everyone’s attention; he has a plan.

“Quick, call the guards! If we can get them in here, they’ll open the door and we can get out of here!”

You are sceptical, but you call out through the door just the same. After a minute or so the guards seem to decide that Hippie and Whitehelm’s conditions are serious, abd trundle into the room.

Immediately the seven of you that were working on the door jump on them. Despite their massive frames and wicked glaives, the guards find it difficult to manoeuvre in such a cramped space against so many opponents, and they are kicked and punched into submission. Curly and the others dash out of the doors excitedly, finally you’re free!

It turns out not to be that simple. You follow the corridor for hours, twisting and turning a million tomes, only to find yourself back in the same room you started at. The other competitors have comforted the recovering Hippie and Whitehelm, and have disposed of the guards bodies, and look up at you in shock. Confused you turn and run again, only to find another hour of travel brings you back to the same room. You run and wonder deep into the night, but you always end up back in your prison. Finally you are too exhausted to carry on; you dejectedly stagger back into the room and onto your bunks, joining the other competitors. Your quickly fall asleep, your spirits broken, will you never escape this hell?

Food Effects

Eat the caviar – hell on earth, -5 Munchies per portion
Attempted escape - -1 Munchie from your hours of running

On the upside, all of you can eat again!

2007-10-28, 09:50 AM
Round 10

Almighty Salmon|3|-1|14
Fleeing Coward|1|0|21
Lord Fullbladder|1|-6|16
Mr Edward Nigma|3|-5|12
Raiser B1ade|2|0|19
Smellie Hippie|2|-15|15
Zar Peter|3|-5|6[/table]

You wake up feeling completely dejected and finding the room alarmingly changed. The window and doors have gone, not bricked up or hidden…simply gone. You are surrounded by four solid featureless white walls, ceiling and floor; the little candles on the table are giving the only light. You start to worry immediately. What has the Baroness done? Where does the air come in? Does the Baroness know about last night? What will become of me?

Your questions are son answered.


A punishing loud voice, still obviously the Baroness’, booms into your ears from out of no-where. She sounds seriously pissed, and you cower in abject fear at her words.


The voice fades, leaving you in shock. The Baroness killed Thanatos, Seftsirag and the rest? What kind of monster is she?

For the next course the Baroness conjures a monster of her own. A large opening appears in the ceiling and a high pressure stream of water comes through. It hits the floor and starts to build up underfoot, making you panic even more. Is the Baroness just going to drown you? It appears not. Once the water reaches the height of the table the flow stops, then a huge streamlined blue shape drops through the opening just before it closes. The shape splashes into the water and you begin to scream in horror and fear. It’s a sword-shark!

Nearly 12 feet long and built of pure muscle, the sword-shark is the primary predator of the seas, mainly thanks to its evil and aggressive temperament, and the massive 8 foot long vorpal blade that stretches from the end of its snout. All you can see is its fin circling the room menacingly, cutting parts of the table and bunks into ribbons underwater.


You are left in a darkened room with a homicidal vorpal fish with absolutely nothing to defend yourselves. What do you do, defend yourselves as best you can, try to get out the water, or bravely take the thing down?

Food Options

Hide on the top bunk of a bed
Stay still and try to defend yourself and eat when it’s dead
Try and kill the sword-shark and eat it when you have

Important – This is a dangerous round, and anyone could die. But you won’t be able to eat your fill if you try and hide, you can only eat if you stay in the water. You can either risk death and eat the rewards, or stay relatively safe…the choice is yours. I’d like some nice vivid descriptions of your attempts to kill the shark and how you work together and go about it, these will be taken into account when the round ends.

Note – You may not steal this round. As usual special ability uses should be PM’d to me, though if you want to let people know about your abilities for your own purposes then that is your own decision.

The round will end Tuesday or Wednesday morning (GMT) depending on how quickly actions come in. I'll be updating with a bit more flavor text as people post up their attempts to subdue the shark etc.

Good Fighting!

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-28, 10:07 AM
Water? Hah! You can do better than that! I'm a freakin' fish!

He turns around to see the sword-shark.

Ohmygod! What do we do!? Guys!? :smalleek:

(Action to come)

2007-10-28, 10:25 AM
"Well, how about we climb on top of the bunks and jump ontop of it? Then strangle it to death or something. Seems like the best train of thought to me. I'll even volunteer myself to do it! I've already won a round so I don't feel the need to protect myself too much. Who wants to lure the shark over to me so I can jump on?"

2007-10-28, 10:27 AM
Castaras splashes frantically, running to her bunkbed, searching through her bags for her spellbook. She climbs to the top of the bed and quickly flips through it. Finding the old, tattered page she was searching for, her eyes glance at the swordshark again, before looking to the terrified salmon, and looking up at Ezlo.

Sure. Someone back me up.

She summons two slender, blackened swords, metal shimmering faintly with silvery blue magic. She slips back into the water, eyes glinting with deep blue magic, hands adjusting their grip slightly on the swords as she remembers her rusty skills. Shadow dancing...Been years since she danced with swords...

But no matter. She would remember. She would have to remember. Her stomach's rumbles would help the cogs turn.

Narrowing her eyes, and once again adjusting her grip on the swords, Castaras goes in for the kill.

(( Yes, she's attacking cute li'l Swordy, then luring it towards Ezlo's bunk, so he can jump on it. ))

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-28, 10:27 AM
Well, i'm a fish. So i'm probably the fastest swimmer here. I'll lure the sword-shark over to you.

EDIT: Ninja'd! :smalltongue:

2007-10-28, 10:30 AM
Ezlo jumps, and he lands straight onto the sharks back. He holds onto the dorsal fin and tries to get his legs around it's head.

2007-10-28, 10:32 AM
EDIT: Ninja'd! :smalltongue:

(( You and Ezlo ninja'd me a while ago actually. I started writing that around 3. :smalltongue: Maybe I shouldn't have taken the vivid description part so seriously... :smallbiggrin: ))

2007-10-28, 10:38 AM
"Well, that seemed to go we... OMG ITS A FREAKIN SHARK!" scrambling away from it I rummage through my bag of holding. "Got it!"
Pulling out a convieniant puppy i throw it to the shark.
"Attack it! Kill it! Go Bob destory its slightly..."
looking and seeing a large pile of mangled puppy, i start to breathe heavily.
"Goddamn it! That puppy cost like 50gp."
Jumping off the bed, i draw my sword, carried as always, and run at the shark being wrestled by elzo.
Attempting to plunge my sword into its head whilst its distracted, i miss and stab my foot. Cursing, i attempt again and try my best to draw blood.

2007-10-28, 10:40 AM
Castaras carries on swinging her swords.

Hit, and twirl. Hit, jump back. Sword shimmers with magic, sword attempts to make contact.

Hampered by the water, she's slower than she expected she would be, which makes things complicated.

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-28, 10:43 AM
Salmon watches the fight while swimming idly in the water.

"Uh.. guys? Any way i could help?"

2007-10-28, 10:48 AM
Distracting it?

Twirl, hit.

Or using some almighty power granted...

Hit, dodge, twirl.

...By your Salmonyness?

Dodge, duck, hit, duck.

Do you have any special...

Twirl, hit, dodge, duck.

...power or are you just...

Duck, duck, duck, duck, goose dodge.

...a Normal Salmon?

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-28, 11:02 AM
Heh, they don't call me Almighty Salmon for nothin'. Watch this. :smallamused:

The fish closes his eyes in deep concentration. After a couple of second a golden aura slowly starts to surround him. His eyes turn bright yellow and his teeth mold sharp and pointy. The new Almighty Salmon quickly swims behind the preadator and attempts to latch onto the Shark's tail with it's teeth. Trying to distract it from Ezlo and Castaras or rip the tail off and Kill it.

Raiser Blade
2007-10-28, 11:14 AM
I grab a candle. If the shark comes for me i am prepared to jet to the side and try and smear soggy wax over it's eyes. To blind it.

2007-10-28, 11:22 AM
Ezlo holds on for dear life with his legs firmly attached around the shark's neck. As the shark swings around violently he starts to feel VERY nauseous. I'm talking about the level of nauseous that a person who gets ill on a merry-go-round would feel going on the biggest roller coaster in the world.

2007-10-28, 11:25 AM
Oh hell. says Korias, before climbing up a bunk. He then proceeds to bust open the cieling and into the room above, getting away from the Sword-Shark.

2007-10-28, 12:47 PM
Stu climbs onto a bunk bed and checks his inventory.

"OK, I have 2 spoons, a fork, a steak knife, a lobster bib and the frying pan in my avatar."

Stu thinks and has an idea. He cuts the lobster bib to pieces and uses the pieces to tie the spoons and the fork to the knife, creating a makeshift harpoon. He turns the final piece into a bandana.

Stu throws the harpoon at the shark, in an attempt to attract its attention and grabs the frying pan, preparing to hit it as it approaches.

On second thoughts, that sounds a bit dangerous. I'm going to hide here and video the battle so I can put it on youtube get a good view of what's happening so I can tell people when to dodge.

2007-10-28, 12:52 PM
Artemis jumps up onto the table, hoping to use it as a good firing platform. Summoning a silver longbow and quiver full of arrows, she takes careful aim and fires at the sword shark. The hunt was on!

2007-10-28, 01:47 PM
MrEdwardNigma runs for the bunks. But he doesn't climb them.
"Can you guys somehow send that thing here? Try to agitate it or something...Oh, god job guy! It looks really agitated now! Now try to send it over here! Ezlo, you'll need to jump off when the shark gets here!"
MrEdwardNigma casts one of his spells and burst from his robes, sending purple cloth flying everywhere (He does seem to keep some sort of purple pants on though that somehow doesn't rip under the pressure of Nigma growing to an enormous size. Cookie for the blatantly obvious reference). When (and if) the shark gets anywhere near the bunk bed, the hulking wizard will push over the bed, dropping it on top of the shark.

2007-10-28, 01:50 PM
((It's the Incredible Hulk! *grabs cookie and runs* Can this add to my munchies?))

2007-10-28, 02:12 PM
Ezlo continues to hold his grip on the shark's fin, but now his nausea has passed. He suddenly remembers a fact about sharks.

"Hey guys! I just remembered, if a shark can't move it can't breathe! Everybody jump on!"

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-28, 02:32 PM
The Salmon tightens his grip on the Sharks tail. So much that his teeth pierce through it completely. That should stop the Sword-Shark from being able to swim.

Zar Peter
2007-10-28, 02:42 PM
Zar Peter tries to get one grill of the shark and strikes his telescope on it's head.

2007-10-28, 03:14 PM
*smellie_hippie screams a sigh of relief at being able to open his mouth again*

A Sword Shark eh? We can make quick work of this...
Someone break off a piece of the bunk-beds, or even through me your pillow. If we block the gills, it can't breath. If you guys are all ready, I have an idea.

*smellie_hippie punches one of the bunk-beds repeatedly, scraping open his knuckle enough to bleed...*

Come get it fishie... :smallamused:

*he dribbles some blood in the water in an effort to lure it over towards the bunks and the remaining contestants for a meal well worth the effort.

2007-10-28, 04:09 PM
Blocking the gills you say?

Stu leaps from the bed and into the water, holding the frying pan as a shield and the lobster bib. He swims toward the shark and offers the lobster bib to Ezlo.

"Ezlo, use this to block the gills!"

2007-10-28, 04:11 PM
"Not more sharks. I swear, every time I want a nap they come after me. Well this is the last time!" drawing her sword she and her MedusaCat swim doggedly towards the shark. "Out of the way so the cat can petrify the shark." Swimming a few yards away to give the cat some room she repeatedly tries to slash at the sharp skin of the monster. "Think you can-" blub "ruin my naps do-" blub "you? Well, you've" blub "got another think coming!" blubblub, "Die!"

2007-10-28, 05:01 PM
"Can't move, can't breathe, eh? Well, I can make that happen! ...It's unfortunate no-on bothered to get off when I told them so, but I guess they'll just have to jump off now..."
The hulking MrEdwardNigma pushes over the bunk (not even bothering to check if there's anyone in it) in the direction of the shark.

2007-10-28, 05:13 PM
Good! Good! Keep at him everyone! We'll have steaks and maybe even soe Shark Fin Soup for dinner tonight! Promises all around that it will be good for you food... 'cuz I've seen the Shark Battle on Iron Chef.
Thank you Chen Kenichi! :smallamused:
*smellie_hippie continues to distract the shark with the tantilizing scent of blood, allowing his companions to beat, swarm, drown, stab, fillet, tickle and otherwise kill the beastie!*

2007-10-28, 05:21 PM
Khaldan will attack the fish, attempting to break the sword part of it off. If he is successful, Khaldan will stab Cassie with it.

Fleeing Coward
2007-10-28, 05:29 PM
Hmm, guess this is my chance to get rid of some fish.

Fleeing gets out his bow and begins shooting at the Salmon from a safe distance. Should the swordfish come near him, he will defend himself with a pair of hidden daggers coated with a mild poison capable of knocking any human unconscious.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-28, 05:33 PM
Fullbladder had not been paying attention. As such, it is only during the fight proper that he calls upon his ancient Faction Special Ability and mass-shifts several meters taller, with the accompanying bulkiness.

This is, of course, a tradeoff with agility and the ability to stand up in the room, but he uses his now much larger mechanical hand to attempt to grasp the Sword-Shark's entire face and gills, whether it's under the the bunks or not.

The whirring of the gears in his arm becomes audible as he begins to squeeze the thing's head, despite not actually being designed for combat or heavy lifting.

"I shall love him," he grunts, "and hold him... and stroke him... and hug him... and call him George..."

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-28, 05:34 PM
The Salmon notices Fleeing Coward aiming at him from a distance. He tries to shout but with his Jaw latched onto the sharks tail, it's no easy task.

Mmmph mphh mphh! mmmphh mmphhh mph Mmmmph! Mmph mphhh Mmph mmmph mph mmphhh.

(Stop it you Idiot! We need to take out this abomination! But make no mistake, once this fish is dead i'm coming for you.)

2007-10-28, 05:43 PM
The shark has been distracted and attacked by everyone else. Hmm Ill ride the sword shark cowboy style from behind the top top fin so it cant stabby me, that ought to help where it out.

Assuming I survive this Im looting the sword and keepin it. :smallbiggrin:

2007-10-28, 05:45 PM
I've just realised something. We really shouldn't be swimming so soon after eating.

2007-10-28, 05:47 PM
Orzel's right eye begins to twitch. His lips shiver and his muscles tighten.

"Things don't eat Orzel" He whispers. His arms begins to shake. The sharks slowly encircle him the the water, attracted by the llama blood on his face, arms, and knuckles.

"That's not natural." He says louder.

"Orzel cannot be eaten!" He yells.

"NO ONE THREATENS ORZEL WITH A BLADE AND TRIES TO EAT ORZEL! THAT'S WHAT ORZEL DOES TO OTHERS!" Orzel roars. He then waves his hands and casts a spell. "Predator's Hunger (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=3427258#post3427258)"

Orzel's mouth gradually grows into a giant maw littered with rows and rows of razor sharp teeth. The horn of his nose melds down into his large mouth into a sizable slope. "I'LL EAT EVERYONE!!!"

2007-10-28, 06:37 PM
Ezlo takes the bib and tries to cover the gills with it, but it's too late. Too mayn other things are covering it already, like Lord Fullbladder. Which now that he thinks of it, practically every part of the swordshark is covered by a contestant. I'm on its fin, so is North, Salmon is on it's tail, Fullbladder's claws are on it's head, etc.

2007-10-28, 06:54 PM
Any chance you can help me up? I want to ride the shark.

Fleeing Coward
2007-10-28, 06:58 PM
The Salmon's going to come after me after? Guess I'll have to work harder then :smallamused:

Fleeing Coward activates Multishot on Almighty Salmon.

2007-10-28, 08:16 PM
Any chance you can help me up? I want to ride the shark.

I got ya Slim Pickins. If someone's got a camera, this reminds me of something......


Oh yeah... that. :smallamused:

@v You need to die for that. Banjo! Feed him to the shark! :smallamused:

2007-10-28, 08:37 PM
Ezlo has another spontaneous thought while riding the shark.

"Quick! Someone! Jump over it!"

2007-10-28, 11:15 PM
Radikalskippy tries to break one of the table's legs to use it as a weapon against the Sword Shark.

(Try to kill it and eat it))

2007-10-29, 02:05 AM
Considering everyone else is covering the shark, and (being low on munchies) I am probably too weak to put up a decent fight, I wait for everyone else to kill the shark for me, then join in the feast.

I grab a chunk of wood from the bunk beds to defend myself if necessary.

2007-10-29, 02:06 AM
I take no risks today.

Top of the Bunks for me

2007-10-29, 04:53 AM
((Hehe that was comedy gold! Thanks guys for a good laugh...I couldn't possibly kill any of you after all that :smallamused: ))

Under the crushing weight of Salmon, Nigma, Stu 42 and the masssive Lord Fullbaldder, as well as a variety of people trying to stabbity it the shark can barely move. The water begins to go stagnant and stops flowing through its clogged gills and it begins to thrash wildly, throwing people off it left and right. Almighty Salmon gets thrown into the air, and takes the firing Fleeing Coward off the top bunk and crashing into the water.

However, Lord Fullbladders grip is just too strong, and he holds on tight, with the raging Orzel clamped on to the sharks side holding it still again. Burbling and choking the shark begins to lose the fight...and is soon limp in your hands. The vorpal blade on it's snout breaks off and shatters, just before Khaldan can get to it and stab Casssie with it.

Time for feast!

Those of you that stayed in the water can now decide how much shark to eat, while those of you that stayed up in the bunks can relax in relative safety.

People who defended themselves get one portion of steak to eat or pass.
People who actively fought the shark get two portions to eat or pass.
Almighty Salmon, Ezlo, Castaras, Smellie Hippie, Stu 42 and Mr Edward Nigma get three portions to eat or pass for really getting into it and making me laugh!

Zar Peter
2007-10-29, 05:14 AM
I'll take two table legs, make a small fire and cook my two portions to eat them.

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-29, 05:23 AM
Ouch! dammit Fleeing Coward, that actually hurt! Once i've finished steak.. *grumble*

I eat 3 portions of Steak

Fleeing Coward
2007-10-29, 05:29 AM
I always knew that Salmon was a cannibal and now I got proof!
Fleeing snaps a few photos and begins eating the Sword-Shark Steak

2007-10-29, 05:37 AM
((WHAT?! I missed the awesomest round?! Why didn't you wait for more of us?!

:smallmad: ))

2007-10-29, 05:50 AM
Ahhhh... comedy gold. :smalltongue: Very nice.

Shark steak... I'll eat it.
Shark fins soup... I'll eat it.
Shark gill sashimi... I'll eat that too.

Yay no steals this round! :smallbiggrin:

2007-10-29, 06:02 AM
((WHAT?! I missed the awesomest round?! Why didn't you wait for more of us?!

:smallmad: ))

I did say there was going to be a halfway update with flavour :smalleek:

There were only two people not to post and a poor sword shark suffocating under the weight of about 15 people, so the poor guy needed to go.

On the upside, you didn't post an action, so you're still in the water. As such, you and Helgraf each still have one portion of steak to use as you please :smallsmile:

2007-10-29, 06:11 AM
((I'll eat mine then. But I wanted to fight the shark... oh well...))

2007-10-29, 08:20 AM
I'll eat my shark as well.

2007-10-29, 08:52 AM
Woooo! Three portions!

EAT IT ALL! :smallbiggrin:

2007-10-29, 09:13 AM
Eat all my portions. "Mmm, sharky. Shark stek with white sauce and crab; shark steak cooked medium rare, lightly grilled on one side with a delicate rosemary and cod sauce. What a delightful meal."

2007-10-29, 10:19 AM
Just to clarify, are we all still alive?

I'm tempted not to eat the shark. It seems like the baroness' sense of humour to let us fight a shark, only for it to give us food poisoning.

On the other hand, I'll eat all three portions anyway. The marmite round turned out to have been added up wrongly so I still havn't got a negative.

If this round is bad, I can make my first negative a -n where n is a number that requires standard form.

I'm accepting all offers too.

EDIT: I'm cooking 2 portions using ZPs fire but eating the first portion raw.

2007-10-29, 10:32 AM
I'll cook my three and eat it too.:smallbiggrin: A meal well worth it.

2007-10-29, 10:35 AM
I'll take my two portions and eat them. "Good hunting everyone!"

2007-10-29, 10:54 AM
Just to clarify, are we all still alive?

Yes you are all still alive...I just couldn't bring myself to kill any of you after your performances taking on the sword-shark :smallsmile:

That doesn't mean you couldn't die from the steak though :smallamused:

2007-10-29, 11:57 AM
I'll eat my three portions, hoping that it'll taste good.
"Baroness, if this kills me after all that effort I put in, you're going down!"

2007-10-29, 12:29 PM
"Mmmmm... Sharky..." i say whilst eating both my portions of shark.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-29, 01:37 PM
"I'm rather surprised I still have my--oh."

Three wires hang a little loosely from a hole in Fullbladder's palm as he devours his two portions of Shark.

Raiser Blade
2007-10-29, 02:16 PM
I eat mine.

2007-10-29, 05:10 PM
I will shove my food at smellie hippie(both portions) and the throw the plates at the window again.

2007-10-29, 06:50 PM
Orzel eat everything!

2007-10-29, 08:43 PM
Ill eat both of my portions.

Fleeing Coward
2007-10-29, 08:54 PM
Never knew that salmon had such a big appetite. Guess I'll have time to stick a few more arrow in him before he comes to get me.
Fleeing pulls out his bow again and continue trying to turn Almighty Salmon into a pincushion.

2007-10-30, 01:03 AM
I eat my portion, and will take any offers.

2007-10-30, 09:58 AM
Round Over

Having finally killed the unfortunate sword-shark, most of you tuck into the steaks you have cut from it's still warm corpse. Korias, Pingcode and Helgraf watch from the upper bunks to see what happens as you swallow your rather wet meals.

It's all a rather disappointing anti-climax. The meat, whether cooked or left raw, is very bland and dry, kind of like a very watery and tasteless version of chicken. It's all very....meh. If anything it's slightly unpleasant, but nowhere near bad enough to make you lose your stomachs. Khaldan attempts to fob his portions off on Smellie Hippie, but he is too deep within his own thoughts to accept. You begin to grumble and moan at each other. It's just like the Baroness to make you risk your lives for a dish that does hardly anything! You begin to seethe in rage at what she's made you do and how she has you trapped. If she shows her face in here she'll never see daylight again, you'll make sure of that!

The water begins to drain away silently as you finish off the bland steak, through tiny holes in the floor that you can't even get your finger into let alone escape through.

You go to sleep that night filled with impotent ragemingled with fear. There are only 2 rounds left...what does the Baroness plan for the end?!

Food Effects

Sword-shark Steak - Bland and dry, -1 Munchies per portion

Almighty Salmon suufers an extra -1 Munchie from Fleeing Coward peppering him with arrows!

2007-10-30, 10:33 AM
Round 11

Almighty Salmon|3|-4|10
Fleeing Coward|1|-1|20
Lord Fullbladder|1|-2|14
Mr Edward Nigma|3|-3|9
Raiser B1ade|2|-2|17
Smellie Hippie|2|-3|12
Zar Peter|3|-2|4[/table]

You wake up the next morning in abject fear of what the Baroness might have in store for you today. After the sword-shark incident absolutely nothing would surprise you, and you wait with genuine trepidation. On the upside at least the air han't run out and suffocated you during the night!

The Baroness' voice doesn't sound until just after mid-day, she must have been creating something special.


The Baroness laughs again, it's now far past maniacal, it seems like she wouldn't even be able to touch sanity with a very long stick.


There is a rumbling and a large Gate spell opens up above your heads, just below the rooms ceiling. You cry out in shock as dismemebred arms, heads and torso's begin to drop through the hole in a torrent of congealing blood. You begin to scream in horror as you recognise the tortured faces of Androgial, Thanatos, Seftsirag, Therarde, Huyneo, Hyram Graff and Terumitsu as they hit the table and benches around you. It doesn't help that the severed heads of your former friends are screaming in pain as they fall.

The Baroness shrieks with delighted laughter at your screams as you desperately try to turn away from the gruesome flow of body parts, or at least hide under your bunk to avoid a soaking. Korias starts gibbering and leaps under his bed-covers, shaking wildly in abject horror.

Eventually the torrent slows to a drip, and then stops altogether, Thankfully the severed heads also seem to have gone silent. You all sit there in stunned silence. Was that an illusion, or is this hell for real?


You sit there shaking your heads in disbelief at what the Baroness has just done. How could anyone be that sick? At least you know why she had all those chains, scalpels and knives delivered, and that she was telling the truth when she said she wouldn't use them on you. Are you really expected to eat the remains of your fellow competitors? It looks like that's all you've got to eat today, like it or not.

Food Options

Tuck into the remains of the competitors
Play pass the head by offering your food to someone else
Refuse such a gruesome meal
Try just drinking the congealing blood
Try to talk to the head of a former comrade

Note – As usual special ability uses and steals should be PM’d to me, though if you want to let people know about your abilities for your own purposes then that is your own decision.

The round will end Friday morning (GMT) depending on how quickly actions come in.

Good Cannibalizing!

((NOTE - I'm aware that this round was quite sick. If anyone thinks I'm going to far then PM me and I'll tone it down :smallsmile: ))

2007-10-30, 10:42 AM
Artemis starts to shake, twitching occasionally "Oh...oh dear...We're not getting out of this. That witch is going to keep torturing us forever. Not even death will bring comfort." She starts crying, then recognizes a nearby head. "*sniff* T..Terumistu? Are..are you alright?" She tries talking to him.

Almighty Salmon
2007-10-30, 10:49 AM
"THATS IT! I can't take your Shenanigans anymore you Coward! This ends here, Right Now! I'm going to kill you!"

The Salmon ignores all the body parts around him, like he doesn't even care. Instead he leaps forward, bearing his teeth right onto Fleeing Coward face. He locks on with his Jaw teeth digging into the coward.

Thats right, i'm eating Fleeing Coward's face.

2007-10-30, 11:02 AM
This game started with intake... it finishes with intake.

I eat. I drink. Bring it bi-otch. :smallamused:

2007-10-30, 11:04 AM
I will eat them. What else can I lose?

2007-10-30, 11:04 AM
Eating and drinking as much as possible.

2007-10-30, 12:03 PM
"I swear, I'm not going to one of these contests again unless I run one myself. This is just too much. But I AM hungry."

Thanatos? Are you okay?

Raiser Blade
2007-10-30, 12:11 PM
I should be -1 not -2. I only ate one steak as i defended myself so i only had 1 steak to eat.

I will eat everything and accept all offers.

2007-10-30, 12:31 PM
Korias rises from his bed. Grasping one of the arms of Androgal, he chucks it out the window and into the vortex, to see what happens.

2007-10-30, 01:35 PM
"I refuse to eat my comrades!" MrEdwardNigma shouts in defiance. he then picks up Thanatos' head and says "To be, or not to be?"

Just realised I'm a cannibal. I'll dig in, please. Oh, and I'll still talk to Thanatos' head, if that's at all possible.

2007-10-30, 01:56 PM
I'm going to ask Hyram Graff's head what happened to ultimate division. Unless he has an excuse, I'll eat him.

2007-10-30, 02:03 PM
"Hey, meat is meat." I dig in.

Zar Peter
2007-10-30, 02:08 PM
Oh what the heck! I even ate some fish, if I can eat that I also can eat some man-meat! Tastes better than fish!

Tuck into the remains of the competitors

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-30, 05:07 PM
"Ah, Hyram, I knew yo--wait, I didn't know you. Ah wel, welcome back. I'd like you to meet that sword shark we met yesterday. I call him George."

Fullbladder Eats the Dead.

"Alas, no respect for the dead. Pass the ketchup, please."

He'll also begin the difficult process of whittling an exact image of the Sword-Shark out of one of HyramGraff's rib bones.

2007-10-30, 05:57 PM
Pingcode picks up the head of Hyram Graff, and looks at Ezlo.

"Alas, poor Hyram. I knew him, Horatio. A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now how abhorred in my imagination it is. My gorge rims at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning? Quite chap-fallen? Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must come; make her laugh at that." recited Pingcode, as was traditional when confronted with skulls.

2007-10-30, 06:23 PM
Pingcode picks up the head of Hyram Graff, and looks at Ezlo.

"Alas, poor Hyram. I knew him, Horatio. A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now how abhorred in my imagination it is. My gorge rims at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning? Quite chap-fallen? Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must come; make her laugh at that." recited Pingcode, as was traditional when confronted with skulls.
You totally stole my "to be, or not to be?" joke :smallannoyed:

2007-10-30, 06:45 PM
You totally stole my "to be, or not to be?" joke :smallannoyed:

Ah yes... joke is it? Joke stealing to be precise? Well let me be the first to say this...

"Thanatos, get your bony ass off the table!!" :smallamused: (proceeds to eat Thanatos and knocks his buttocks off the table with a thigh bone)

2007-10-30, 06:49 PM
Too bad Predator's Hunger doesn't heal munchies.

But it heals HP.

LET's EAT!!!

2007-10-30, 10:06 PM
Khaldan will eat everytinh, and he will use his cannibalism ability to eat radikalskippy while he's eating.

Fleeing Coward
2007-10-30, 10:20 PM
Get off me you stupid fish, I try to prevent you from resorting to cannibalism and this is the thanks I get?

Fleeing attempts to fight off the Salmon, eat the former competitors and cannibalise Radikalskippy before Khaldan does all at the same time.

2007-10-30, 10:32 PM
Nothing to lose I guess, I dig in and will take any offers.

2007-10-31, 01:50 AM
I dig into Terimitsu. Mmmm Cakey goodness. Reminds me of Mas home cooking.


That probably should have been a sign she was a serial killer....

2007-10-31, 02:17 AM
Oh, yeah, right, cannibalism...

I'll eat myself too, then.

2007-10-31, 03:18 AM
*DLD growls quite loudly at the others who are eating the dead*

You're all sick! Have you no respect?! We came here together, we helped each other... mostly... and now you resort to this?! How dare you?! I refuse to take part in this evil act!

*DLD roars and starts attacking the door and anything that can be broken*

((Uh-oh... The dragon's pissed! :smalltongue: ))

2007-10-31, 05:24 AM
Smiling happily at the sight of the ready meals, Curly digs into all she can find, particularly Terumitsu as he has a rather pleasant cakey taste. "A cannnibals best wish," she mumbles indistinctly through the gory blood and intestines protuding from her mouth.
Picking up the leg of Therade she begins to skin it and strip the tender raw flesh from the bone. "Skin and ligaments are soo stringy. Just like onion rind."
As she looks around she sees the horrified faces of the other competitors. Pale and pasty at the sight of such a young child reveling in the horrific feast "What? Can't you be glad I'm not doing it to you - yet!" the last word is a shout as she bursts into peals of maniacal, blood-lusty laughs.

Eat the bodies, avoids the skin and ligaments but doesn't cannibalise anyone this round.

2007-10-31, 06:41 PM
Why dom I get the feeling that I'm going to finish 4th again?

Thanatos 51-50
2007-11-01, 05:52 PM

Thanatos grins at Ezlo:
"I'd be alot better with 5,000 GP worth of dimonds and rememering whether or not I took Still Spell"

Thanatos then "turns" to MEN:
"Whats up?"

Then, Thanatos proceeds to be eaten.

Ignore this post.:smallamused:

2007-11-02, 06:51 AM
Round Over!

Horrified at the thought of eating you fellow competitors, any of you refuse to compete, instead you try and either stay out the way, or placate the decapitated heads amongst the mess on the floor. However, a few of you have other things in mind...

Radikal Skippy is clearly struggling, and Khaldan & Fleeing Coward start towards him menacingly, blood already streaming from Cowards face where the Almighty Salmon attempted to rip his face off with some success. In desperation, Radikalskippy bites a chunk out of his own arm and swallows it down.

"See guys, you can't eat me, I'm a cannibal too! You wouldn't eat your own kind would you?"

Fleeing Coward and Khaldan grin, showing teeth filed down to razor sharp points.

”We’re cannibals…that’s what we do.”

The two jump onto Skippy, tearing at his throat and stomach. His bodily fluids and chunks of flesh mix in with the rest of the gore on the table and floor, and soon the unfortunate contestant is no more.

A lot of you decide to give in to your primal urges and eat the remains. Cassie is about to when the severed arm she was holding is ripped out of her hands and the thief escapes. Smellie Hippie also has his portion stole, but when you look back he seems to found another random body part and is gnawing on it hungrily. Curly, Zar Peter and others dig in, only to discover a horrifying truth. Raw or not, it tastes disturbingly good. However the Baroness has tortured these poor people it has somehow made the raw meat tender as well cooked pork, and soon your stomachs are full of your former friends.

Stu42 walks over to where the face of Hyram Graff is lying in a pool of blood and brain matter. He picks it up and looks it in the eye.

“Hey Hyram, whatever happened to Ultimate Division? I’d nearly won that! Right that’s it, in my belly you go.”

Stu42 eats the silent Hyram. Korias grabs an arm and throws it towards the window, only to remember that the windows have disappeared, and the arm bounces off the solid walls. DLD finds out the same as the furious dragon attacks the wall where the door used to be. She is left with blunt claws, but she calms herself by remembering she was one of the few not to give in to the disgusting meal set out for her.

Those of you that try to talk to your former comrades find most of them uncooperative, they lie there in silence. Thanatos is the only exception (because he posted! :smallbiggrin: ). North & Ezlo pick up his head and get a response.

“I have something to tell you, something that may help you get out of this. While the Baroness was torturing us…oh my god how she tortured us…she let slip a few things. She’s not human…she’s a succubus…an outsider from the plains of hell.”

Thanatos tries to look around, then remembers he’s just a head.

“Are Artemis and Ed Nigma still here? Good, they’re spell casters aren’t they? The Baroness is an outsider…summon her here into this room and take her out…it’s your only chance…then her illusions will dissapear...”

Thanatos’ eyes close, and he is again silent. North conveys his last words to you all, and you look to Mr Edward Nigma & Artemis. Could this be your way out? How are you supposed to take out a succubus of the power of the Baroness?

Food Effects

Eat your fill – Finger-lickin good, +2 Munchies

RadikalSkippy was consumed by Khaldan & Fleeing Coward
Fleeing Coward suffers -1 Munchie from Almighty Salmons attack!
Raiser B1ade has an extra +1, due to a mistake I made in the previous round. :smalleek:

2007-11-02, 07:52 AM
Final Round!

Almighty Salmon|3|0|10
Fleeing Coward|1|+4|24
Lord Fullbladder|1|+2|16
Mr Edward Nigma|3|+2|11
Raiser B1ade|1|+5|22
Smellie Hippie|1|+2|14
Zar Peter|3|+2|6[/table]

You excitedly start to discuss Thanatos' plan that night, deciding not to let the Baroness arrive on her own terms in the morning. Both Artemis & Mr Edward Nigma seem confident they can do it.

"Well I am a powerful Wizard. Though that witch pilfered my spell pouch before we got stuck here, I'm still sure that we can bring her here against her will if she indeed is a succubus."

"i think we can do it between us. If everyone else grabs a weapon and waits, we can sustain the summoning spell until you've got her licked."

Despite their confidence, many of you are reticent. How can you hope to kill the all powerful Baroness? Maybe if your good and stay here she might let you live...It's the enraged DLD that spurs you all into action.

"C'mon! That bitch has had us cooked up in here for nearly two weeks! She's not going to let us go, look what she did to poor Thanatos and the rest. We killed the shark and we can do the same to her! So grab a table leg, a sword, a pillow, anything! Let's kill the Bi-atch!"

Almighty Salmon bears his teeth already stained with Cowards blood. Rasier B1ade snorts flame from his nostrils and grins evilly. Lord Fullbladder takes combat form and balls his metallic fists. Ezlo grabs a piece of fossilised meatloaf and wields it like a club. Even Korias grabs a table leg and edges towards the centre of the room. DLD flashes her own razor sharp teeth and claws and flaps her wings impatiently.

"We're ready."

Artemis & Mr Edward Nigma nod and begin to chant in the far corner of the room, waving their arms, their hands moving incomprehensibly. The rest of you get between them and the rest of the room, if either of them get's distracted before you take the Baroness down you'll all be toast.

A glowing purple pentagram of holy energy forms in the middle fo the room, and the air within it immediately begins to darken and swirl into strange writhing shapes. You ready yourselves, only to hear the Baroness' voice sound through the room, closer than ever before.


The Baroness suddenly flashes into existence in the middle of the pentagram, this time in her true succubus form. Artemis & Nigma redouble their chanting, and the Baroness screeches in pain.


Almighty Slamon starts the battle.


The fish streaks towards the Baroness, latching onto her barbed tail with his teeth. The rest of you pile in as a wave of pain, the whirring and beeping Lord Fullbladder at the head. Smellie Hippie runs in a punches the Baroness square on the nose, followed by Curly, who sends the succubus wheeling with a roundhouse kick. Lord Fullbladder and DLD leap onto the struggling Baroness holding her down with their body weight. Castaras & Ezlo send a fussilade of pies and pieces of meatloaf over your heads straight at the Baroness, distracting her efforts to retaliate.

Fleeing Coward tries to fire at Almighty Salmon, but he's being whipped around so much by the Baroness' tail that he misses and hits the succubus right in the backside! Korias is cauht by the Baroness' claw as he tries to strike, but is dragged to safety by Helgraf. Orzel, Khaldan and Raiser B1ade all show their huge cannibal grins and rip into the Baroness' side, tearing for her organs and lifeblood, whooping and hollering in joy as they do so.

Stu42, Whitehelm and Zar Peter grab hold of the flailing clawed hands underneath the broiling mass, and try to hold them still. But the Baroness' strength is amazing, she swats the three of them out of the way and conjures a lightening bolt arcing straight towards the unaware Artemis and Nigma. If it hits them the spell will fail and she'll get away! That's where Pingcode, Onasuma and North jump into action. They move as quick as a flash, rolling a large metallic scratch built device between the casters and the bolt. The lightening smacks into the machine and dissipates in a shower of harmless sparks. Pingcode grins widely.

"I knew that portable lightening rod would come in useful for something!"

Her last gambit failed, and blood showering the floor from dozens of wounds, the Baroness struggling get;s weaker and weaker. Most of you start to back away, leaving DLD and Lord Fullbladder to pin the succubus. DLD looks down carefully and starts to weep with relief.

"It's over guys...she's dead."

Artemis and Nigma end their spell, leaving the Baroness' torn ragged body in the middle of a spreading pool of blood. You look at her with glee and utter relief, finally your hell is over! You turn round to find the door again set in the wall and hanging open invitingly. You all turn to run to your escape...then you pause. The Baroness is lying their just waiting to be eaten. She hated you so utterly for eating her husband it would be a perfect insult to feast on her corpse after escaping her trap. But such a horrible hag could be poisonous, is it worth the risk?

Food Options

Eat the remains of the Baroness
Offer your share to someone else
Refuse to eat the venomous hag

Note – As usual special ability uses and steals should be PM’d to me, though if you want to let people know about your abilities for your own purposes then that is your own decision.

The final results will be announced in a post almost as big as this one once all actions are in! Make the most of your steals and abilities, you won't get another chance :smallsmile:

Good Eating!

((That's the single biggest piece of narration I've ever put together, I hope I didn't miss anyone out! Hope you enjoy reading...I'm going to dip my fingers in ice for a few hours :smallcool: ))

Almighty Salmon
2007-11-02, 08:14 AM
Good job guys.. *pant* We finally took her out..

I offer my share to Fleeing Coward

Here, you can have this. I hope you choke on it.. oh and have a really bad aim :smallamused:

(Oh, and great narration Banjo :smallbiggrin:)

2007-11-02, 08:15 AM
*eats as much of the Baroness as possible*


2007-11-02, 08:31 AM
Don't eat, just sit in the corner trying to thaw the frozen meatloaf I used as a club.


2007-11-02, 09:51 AM
Don't eat, just sit in the corner trying to thaw the frozen meatloaf I used as a club.


If you're not gonna eat that... can I have it? I'm eating my portion as well.

I will accept all offers of roast bi-otch.

Oh... and I smack whitehelm several times for stealing from me THREE TIMES! :smallfurious:

2007-11-02, 10:16 AM
"What can happen? I think I'll munch o her too. Never tried succubus before but I've heard they taste like duck, or was it chicken? Either way, munchies all the way."

Atreyu the Masked LLama
2007-11-02, 10:46 AM
Great narrating, Banjo! Great twist!!

2007-11-02, 11:24 AM
I refuse to eat her.

I'll offer my portion to Fleeing coward if he's going to eat it. Otherwise, Khaldan can have it.

2007-11-02, 11:29 AM
I eat my share. Then i hunt around for more members of the barons to eat.

2007-11-02, 12:30 PM
Korias, reaching deep into his Barbarian/Drunken Master levels, swigs his mug down and proceeds to bash the Baronesses corpse to bits, making a nice red jelly. He refuses to eat it, instead bandaging his wounds.

2007-11-02, 12:35 PM
Artemis collapses back onto a bunk, exhausted from the summoning. She wasn't going to join in on the feasting, somehow she felt an Evil outsider would upset her stomach. "I think I'm going to sit this course out, guys. Someone else can have my portion if they like." After resting a moment, she decides to check the door for a way to escape. "Erm, those of you that are eating...keep an eye out for a key or something that might help us get ouot of here."

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-11-02, 01:35 PM
"So... we've killed Baron Fatbelly and his slimy bride, what's next? Eh? I ask you, what the hell is next?! Fatbelly's midget son? What is wrong with this screwy family? Why don't we throw in draconic ancestry for good measure? HUH? HUH!?"

Fullbladder will mutilate the corpse a bit, then devour his share. Preferrably the heart, because of old organic-beings' superstition about gaining an enemy's strength.

2007-11-02, 01:36 PM
The wizard grins broadly.
"last time we got to eat the Baron, and now we're eating the Baroness! It's becoming a family tradition! Perhaps if they had kids we'll get to eat them next time!"
He then digs into his meal, eating as much as possible, and accepting all offers.

2007-11-02, 01:56 PM
Artemis collapses back onto a bunk, exhausted from the summoning. She wasn't going to join in on the feasting, somehow she felt an Evil outsider would upset her stomach. "I think I'm going to sit this course out, guys. Someone else can have my portion if they like." After resting a moment, she decides to check the door for a way to escape. "Erm, those of you that are eating...keep an eye out for a key or something that might help us get ouot of here."

Me me me me me! :smallamused:

2007-11-02, 05:45 PM
I eat nothing. I would bet money that someone is stealing my food this time.

((and why didn't I get +7 from eating the heads and radikal skippy? cannabilism is +5!))

Zar Peter
2007-11-02, 05:47 PM
I refuse to eat! That can't be good flesh, it's too old!

Khaldan, you want it? OK, here you go!

Passes food to Khaldan!

2007-11-02, 06:00 PM
"This'll probably kill me, but I'll eat her anyway."

Eat the Baroness!

2007-11-02, 06:08 PM
I eat Zar Peter's portion! And attempt to eat my portion!

2007-11-02, 06:21 PM
"You know" the wizard says, while chewing on the baroness' arm, "I'll still take any offers of seconds. And if anybody happens to feel like being eaten, I'd be glad to arrange that as well!"

*People stare at the wizard*

"What? You never know, right?"

Raiser Blade
2007-11-02, 07:17 PM
I'll offer mine to castaras.

2007-11-02, 11:03 PM
*DLD grins*

Well, we did it. I'm gonna insult her even more by eating what I can. It'll be worth it!

*DLD eats the Baroness! She will also accept offers*

((And Banjo, that was freakin' awesome! The succubus was a nice twist!

Since the game's pretty much finished, I had the anti-cannibal ability. I was hoping to see it in action but I didn't lose enough munchies))

2007-11-02, 11:09 PM
orzel Eat The Lady!!

Fleeing Coward
2007-11-03, 04:23 AM
This probably won't be good for me but I can't pass up the chance to eat our former jailer

Fleeing eats the Baroness and accepts all offers.

2007-11-03, 08:05 AM
Nah Ill pass. *burp*

Pass it to the Fleeing Coward

2007-11-03, 08:08 AM
I'll offer mine to castaras.


*takes and eats*

His is the only offer I noticed...if there's any other offers I'll accept them all.

2007-11-03, 11:39 AM
I eat nothing. I would bet money that someone is stealing my food this time.

((and why didn't I get +7 from eating the heads and radikal skippy? cannabilism is +5!))

Cannibalism takes up your action for the round Khaldan, so you couldn't eat the food to. I took it that you'd rather get +5 from cannibalism than +2 from the food :smallbiggrin:

I do believe everyone has posted, except Helgraf who I think has internet issues, and whitehelm, who can't win from his position. I'll pit up the results and last bit of story either tonight or tomorrow morning. Thanks for playing guys!

2007-11-03, 02:32 PM
Pfft, I'm still posting an action. I join in the feast, and steal erm...Fleeing Coward's food. No reason to keep that secret, since everyone else is done.

2007-11-03, 02:37 PM
That's fine Whitehelm, I'm going to include that in the final standings, though you can't steal Cowards food, as you've run out of steals! Creating final post now...

Almighty Salmon
2007-11-03, 02:39 PM
I think that Fleeing Coward will win.. Unfortunately..

Raiser Blade
2007-11-03, 03:07 PM
Unless it's a negative in which case i might have a shot.

2007-11-03, 03:27 PM
Just to make it all official-like, Smellie Hippie can have my portion.

2007-11-03, 03:28 PM
Game Over!

After the weeks of captivity you have endured at the whims of this horrific creature, many of you can’t resist the final insult and leap towards the Baroness’ corpse mouths agape. Almighty Salmon, Artemis, North and a few others are too exhausted from the battle, and wearily file through the open door of the room and down the corridor towards freedom.

For those of you that are left, your final feast turns into a complete free for all, with gobbets of flesh being slung around and stolen left, right and centre. It’s almost impossible to follow who’s eating what, and you concern yourselves with grabbing what you can.

After tasting a portion of the Baroness you stop caring what’s happening to everyone else. While she was an evil witch in life, in death her flesh is tender and deliciously succulent, even raw and still warm as it is. You let the Baroness’ remains melt in your mouths, and savour one final victory over your merciless captor. But all to soon the Baroness is nothing but bones and scraps of wing and business suit, and you start concerning yourselves with following the other competitors out of the room. You take one last look back at the dirty and blood-stained orifice of hell where so many of your fellows have dies, and turn away in disgust. If you never see another Fatbelly it’ll be too soon.

Food Effects

Baroness Fatbelly – A fine final dish, +4 Munchies per portion.

3 Hours Later…

Police cars and vans surround the front entrance of the mansion, lights flashing and sirens blaring. Dozens of officers have met you at the door, most are now combing the mansion looking for survivors and evidence of the Baroness’ crimes. Looking at the white-faced officers who come out the entrance to be sick in horror at what they’ve found inside, you feel even luckier to have survived. The officers lucky enough to be outside have given you emergency blankets and taken statements, and now they’ve left you pretty much to your own devices.

You suddenly remember. Hell on earth or not, the last two weeks have been a competition! But with the host gone, who is there to announce the winner? You start muttering amongst yourselves, until a soft voice sounds out from amongst you. Ezlo, the meatloaf loving winner of the far more pleasant previous contest, speaks.

“I think I should be the one to decide. I won the first contest, and the Fatbelly’s are gone, at least for now. I feel it’s down to me to announce a winner, and then try to return this proud competition to its former glory. The Baroness will not succeed in running this contest into the ground. I refuse to let it be.”

You are impressed by the meatloafologists strong words, and look at him expectantly.

“Right then…in third place we have Castaras!! The runner up this year, and with a very impressive belly I must say, is Khaldan! But, our winner this year, in the hardest contest I think has ever been held is…..Fleeing Coward!”

The group breaks into applause, and Fleeing Coward bows, taking in the adoration. Even Almighty Salmon applauds grudgingly, sworn enemy or not, the guy really does have a stomach that would make a Snorlax proud! The police outside also start to applaud, and you begin the trek to the pub you passed in the nearest village, two eventful weeks ago. You drink and celebrate well into the night, and remember your comrades who didn’t make it out alive. You drift out in ones and twos, back to your faraway homes, wondering what next years Fatbelly contest might hold.

What will it be like if Ezlo is in control?

Final Standings

1st Fleeing Coward (32 Munchies)
2nd Khaldan (28 Munchies)
3rd Castaras (24 Munchies)
4th Orzel & Pingcode (23 Munchies)
5th Raiser B1ade & Smellie Hippie (22 Munchies)
6th Mr Edward Nigma (19 Munchies)
7th CurlyKitGirl, Ezlo, North, Onasuma & Stu42 (18 Munchies)
8th Lord Fullbladder & DarkLightDragon (16 Munchies)
9th Whitehelm (12 Munchies)
10th Artemis97 (11 Munchies)
11th Almighty Salmon (10 Munchies)
12th Helgraf (8 Munchies)
13th Zar Peter (6 Munchies)
14th Korias (4 munchies)
The Fallen – RadikalSkippy, Atreyu the Masked Llama, Thanatos, Terumitsu, Therarde, Seftsirag, HyramGraff, Huyneo, Evnafets, Androgial, Akaziel

Thanks for playing everyone! I think this time round the game worked much better, though there are definitely a few things that need clarifying & tweaking! I hope you all enjoyed the game, feel free to share your victory speeches and tales of survival here!

It would also be great to have some feedback on how everyone thinks the game went. Any changes you would make, ideas for new abilities etc, anything you want to say.

The end of the game is also important. I’m running my first WW game in the next week or so, and it’s likely to take some time. There is no way I can narrate two games, and I kind of want to play the game myself, probably to get eaten! Ezlo has shown some interest in running a Fatbelly 3, it would be great if he could, especially with feedback on this game from all you guys on here. If Ezlo doesn’t want to run I will run another, but not for a while, it really depends on whether there’s enough interest for another game to come soon!

Thanks again everyone, I had a blast, I hope you enjoyed it too.

2007-11-03, 03:31 PM
Hmm..interesting. Apparently you had me steal marmite pizza from someone even though I didn't actually pm a steal to you (or I would've eaten my pizza that round)

Almighty Salmon
2007-11-03, 03:38 PM
The floating Salmon sighs.

Yes yes.. Well done Coward. You really can eat like a king..

He holds out his hand fin for a handshake.

I'll see you here next year for a rematch? :smallamused: