PDA

View Full Version : Hilarious and Ingenious



Tyrmatt
2007-10-14, 07:49 AM
As a relative newbie to D&D (I've yet to get a full session on with folks) I'd like to hear some stories on ways you guys, as PCs or DMs got around situations in various ways that you feel were particularly clever or funny.
So far the only one I've ever been told was by a friend who won a duelling competition event with a 3rd level rogue against an epic level barbarian by placing a bag of holding within another and causing a cataclysm (I think that's right :/ ). As he was theoretically the last thing standing in creation, he won the tournament and took the prizes.

Wraith
2007-10-14, 08:08 AM
To my shame (read: personal amusement) the absolute funniest stuff I have done in RolePlaying games are the things I have taken out of the "Things I must Not Do When Role Playing" thread on this very Forum! :smallbiggrin:

Most recently, the ones that spring to mind are:

WHFRP DM: "The Evil Wizard stalks towards you, readying herself to cast her Ultimate Magic Spell Of Doom at You..."
Me: "I cast 'light' on her eyes and blind her."
DM: ".....I... can't seem to find a reason to rule as to why that doesn't work..."

Another was when a friend started up a D&D 3.5 Campaign at level 15, so I built Pun-Pun using Druid instead of Divine Minion without telling anyone. Basically the same, just takes a bit longer but since we were starting at high-level time wasn't a problem...

It was quite funny, not because I broke the game and the DM but because of how long it took everyone to realise that something was amiss....

DM: "Kobold, Strength Check please, DC is 35."
Kobold/Me: "Pass."
DM: "....What the... What class are you?"
Me: "Druid, mostly."
DM: "...Oh, I see. Bull's Strength and Wild Shape to a Bear, something like that?
Me: "Yes, something like that."

It was quite cruel of me really, but having said that he tends to mess around with my other characters all the time and I felt owed a little bit of payback. :smallwink:

Xefas
2007-10-14, 08:30 AM
Big stone dungeon, a massive room with a ceiling dozens of feet high. In the center of the ceiling is the only exit, a circular tunnel going upwards. Hanging down through the ceiling-hole is a long metal chain with a big hook on the end. There are no spellcasters in the party, just a rogue, fighter, and ranger. The chain is way WAY too high for anyone to reach, even if they got maximum jump checks with full aid another.

What was suppose to happen was that the rogue or ranger was suppose to tie a rope to an arrow and fire it up and around the hook, so everyone could climb up. Naturally, that never occured to any of the players.

What DID occur to the rogue, however was that "I've got a rope, and we need to get it up there SOMEHOW." This was, obviously, the most important part.

What's his solution? "I've got it! Fighter! THROW ME AT THE HOOK!"

Without a second thought, the fighter picks up the very small rogue, and chucks him with considerable (20ish) strength straight at the hook, which then impales the rogue clear through the chest. "Aha! We did it!" cries the rogue, his plan an instant success.

He then ties the rope to the hook and dangles it down for everyone to climb up while he's un-skewering himself.

Serpentine
2007-10-14, 09:14 AM
First, in Goff's campaign, we acquired an amount of... some fungi from a Dragon magazine that lifts you up. Then I took over DMing, and threw in a band of bandits on the road.
What I expected to happen: Bandit leader demands all their stuff. Party refuses/negotiates, either way (probably) they end under attack. A couple of bandits get downed, lead bandit (he had a name and everything! :smallfrown:) gets down to, say, half hitpoints, then cheeses it, to come back again later or, quite possibly, join the party for a while.
What happened: Bandit leader demands all their stuff. Party negotiates, negotiations break down. Chief negotiator rogue simply says the name of the gnome. Gnome, immediately understanding (in game and out of game :smalleek: I think they're smarter than me...) pulls out the propelling fungi spores and throws it at the bandit. Bandit flies up into the air... a very long way. Unconcious. Tied up. Handed over to authorities at the next town :smallsigh:

Quick note: I couldn't remember the exact properties of the fungi spores, only the fungi, and it would've taken too long to search it out. Turns out it was only supposed to levitate slightly. Still, I thought it was clever.

serpent615
2007-10-14, 10:48 AM
in a room with a field where gravity is reversed. We were attacked by an assassin who then jumped into the field and fell UP about 60 feet. Our tecksmith(who had this robot that followed him) took some of his arrows from the robot and tossed them into the field, doing moderate damage. I, being a Monk, slow fell UP the wall and tried to attack him on the ceiling. And the druid summoned a dinosaur inside the field.....an aquatic dinosaur :smalleek:, but it could breathe air. In the end though, we were captured and experimented on...:smallannoyed:

Rigel Cyrosea
2007-10-14, 11:06 AM
I was playing an Ebberon campaign, and we were walking across a bridge in sharn on our way ... somewhere. Can't remember exactly where. The bridge breaks, and we start falling. Luckily, I was playing a character with wings (Avoral monster class) and I managed to grab everybody except the wizard, who just cast feather fall. We landed on top of this run-down building. We were supposed to work our way down through the building, which was inhabited with various low-lifes. We started going down, got lost, and decided to just kick out a window and jump. The DM couldn't come up with any reason why we couldn't, so we got to bypass most of his dungeon.:smallbiggrin:

Yvanehtnioj
2007-10-14, 11:46 AM
I was DM-ing and the players were in a combat with several ogres, near a steep cliff. Earlier, the druid, Meg, she went scouting and ended up atop the cliff, looking down upon the battle.

She cast a nature summoning spell, and summoned a celestial gorilla. Then she commanded it to go fight the ogres. The same ogres way...way...below. (~75 ft.)

It leapt off and plummeted down onto an ogre, killing it instantly. Knocked out another.

First thing out of my mouth: Meg, you just performed an act of 'gorilla warfare' on them.


Good times. :smallbiggrin:

shadowdemon_lord
2007-10-14, 12:52 PM
This did not happen to me, but I've heard the story from a friend. He was over at a friends house as they were wrapping up a session for a high level group (around fifteenish level). The party had just defeated a baby red dragon and it's mother (the father being out when they arrived). They decided to take all of the loot but a large chest of copper pieces (who wants to lug thousands of copper around?). Their DM decided to let my friend play the father red dragon when he came back to the nest. After looking at the handiwork of the adventurers, the dragon realized that he probably wouldn't stand a chance against this group in a fair fight. So, he decided to grab the chest of copper pieces, fly about half a mile up, and find the party (taking advantage of the dragons superior eye-sight). He then proceeded to TPK the party by opening the chest and raining it down on them from that great height.

Wooter
2007-10-14, 03:26 PM
I've never played D&D. I want to, but I've nver found a group.

Despite this I often run hypothetical situations that could come up in a game in my head. The only one I can think of right now is throwing a silver piece with a sling to get over DR/silver.

triforcel
2007-10-14, 03:45 PM
Well a common thing in the games that I've played is that if I play a sorcerer, someone else plays a halfling rogue. No this may seem inconsequential, but whenever we come to the dungeon and need a light source, I do my duty as the party caster (usually before the cleric offers to) and cast light... on the rogue. Now the rogue is glowing quite brightly, and since my favorite low level spell is prestidigitation, the rogue is soon glowing pink.

In some other prestidigitation fun, I have also managed to create a simulated invisibility effect by coloring myself ultraviolet or some other color outside the visible spectrum of most humanoids, chilled the rock walls of an active volcano which the DM decided created a cave in due to the rapid change in temperature, and in one particularly outrageous game, invented magical pong.

Icewalker
2007-10-14, 04:11 PM
So, he decided to grab the chest of copper pieces, fly about half a mile up, and find the party (taking advantage of the dragons superior eye-sight). He then proceeded to TPK the party by opening the chest and raining it down on them from that great height.

Actually, I think that wouldn't work. Assuming copper pieces are the same size as pennies it wouldn't do more than hurt, and not even that much. If they are bigger, it is possible it could do something, not sure.

Chronos
2007-10-14, 05:25 PM
Actually, I think that wouldn't work. Assuming copper pieces are the same size as pennies it wouldn't do more than hurt, and not even that much. If they are bigger, it is possible it could do something, not sure.There's a picture in the PHB of a D&D coin, actual size. It's a lot bigger than a penny. I think they're listed as being 1/10 pound each. And for that matter, even pennies can do some serious damage, if dropped from enough height.

triforcel
2007-10-14, 05:40 PM
There's a picture in the PHB of a D&D coin, actual size. It's a lot bigger than a penny. I think they're listed as being 1/10 pound each. And for that matter, even pennies can do some serious damage, if dropped from enough height.

All coins are 1/50th of a pound as a general rule. Additionally, I recall an episode of Mythbusters where they proved that a penny has a terminal velocity low enough that it actually couldn't cause that serious of an injury. If I remember correctly it wouldn't even penetrate the skin.

Wooter
2007-10-14, 05:54 PM
All coins are 1/50th of a pound as a general rule. Additionally, I recall an episode of Mythbusters where they proved that a penny has a terminal velocity low enough that it actually couldn't cause that serious of an injury. If I remember correctly it wouldn't even penetrate the skin.

Yes, but there are a lot of copper peices all falling at once. A snowflake won't hurt. An avalanche will.

Rift_Wolf
2007-10-14, 06:01 PM
While playing a campaign where we had to go into a camp, me (Gnome Ranger) and this guy (Halfling Rogue) went scouting ahead to check if the camp was friendly. The rogue didn't make his hide check and got caught. He was sent in a caravan (That luckily we got jobs to escort) back to the city, which was in the opposite direction to where we wanted to be. We couldn't communicate to the rogue, but we established we needed to get rid of the guards and give the fighter enough time to grab the rogue and run away. My idea was this.
"Okay, resources, what spells do you (Druid) have?"
"I've just been preparing cure spells. I can summon spontaneously though."
"What's the biggest thing you can summon?"
"Wolf, Weasel, Dire Rat, Octopus.."
"Nah we need something big to get every guards attention. Wait a minute... Octopus. Okay, this is a longshot, but bear with me. The druid goes into the woods and hides, casts Summon Natures Ally to summon an octopus onto his head. He runs out at the caravan, then darts back into the woods. I'll start shouting I say a mind-flayer, and get the guards to run after me."
I failed my bluff check. Luckily the guards dismissed it as a gnomish prank, and the shouting gave the rogue enough time to escape his ropes and run into the forest. It's now accepted my plans aren't going to be entirely sane.

Dark Knight Renee
2007-10-14, 06:01 PM
Still, even an avalanche of coppers shouldn't be able kill anyone, much less an entire party of seasoned adventurers.

Of course, psudologic is more fun than real physics, and is less likely to kill catgirls :smalltongue:

BardicDuelist
2007-10-14, 06:05 PM
My DM planned this long dungeon with lizardfolk in a swamp. The ruins we were supposed to investigate were sunk and overgrown. We were supposed to go through several levels and all of that (he later showed me his map).

What happened:
My druid awakened the plants overgrowing the back of the tunned. They proceded to tear the back open and flood the BBEG, who then tried to attack us, but was smashed by a lucky critical from a willow. The rest of the party stole everything in the temple.

martyboy74
2007-10-14, 06:06 PM
If a copper piece is actually a tenth of pound, then that's at least 100 pounds of metal falling. That's probably enough to kill a normal person, especially if it's falling several hundred/thousand feet.

enderrocksonall
2007-10-14, 07:22 PM
I would think that the sheer mass of bruises would knock someone out, which would allow the dragon to have a snack.

However, I think I recall something from the DMG, or somewhere anyway, that says that dropping something that weighs less than a pound deals no damage regardless of the distance it falls. And things weighing less than 200 lbs have to fall pretty far in order to deal damage.

Arbitrarity
2007-10-14, 07:45 PM
Falling Objects
Just as characters take damage when they fall more than 10 feet, so too do they take damage when they are hit by falling objects.

Objects that fall upon characters deal damage based on their weight and the distance they have fallen.

For each 200 pounds of an objectís weight, the object deals 1d6 points of damage, provided it falls at least 10 feet. Distance also comes into play, adding an additional 1d6 points of damage for every 10-foot increment it falls beyond the first (to a maximum of 20d6 points of damage).

Objects smaller than 200 pounds also deal damage when dropped, but they must fall farther to deal the same damage. Use Table: Damage from Falling Objects to see how far an object of a given weight must drop to deal 1d6 points of damage.

For each additional increment an object falls, it deals an additional 1d6 points of damage.

Objects weighing less than 1 pound do not deal damage to those they land upon, no matter how far they have fallen.


Yeah, I'm bored.

Umm... once we had a kobold with RotD stuff, and so he had wings. We came to a fortress, which we were supposed to enter (long abandoned, we were using it to hole up after preforming some politically unsavvy moves), and we couldn't find a way in, as the gatehouse was up the wall, and none of us could climb. So, my barbarian doesn't remember if the kobold can fly or not, and while the player is using the washroom, decides to throw the kobold up. So he whips the kobold up, and the player comes back. He's not very happy. Mostly because he actually had a fly speed. Also, the party arcanist had pillar of ice or somesuch, which proceded to "elevator" us to the top of the wall. Later, the kobold tries to bull-rush my barbarian off the edge of a wall. Of course, between size penalties, strength difference, and so forth, he failed rather miserably.

Archpaladin Zousha
2007-10-14, 07:46 PM
Back when me and my brother were young inexperienced n00bs (now we're teenage inexperienced n00bs:smallwink: ) we were playing as our first characters. I was Artos, a cleric of St. Cuthbert and the butt of a number of jokes about my name ("You Artos-t!"), while my brother was Pluhkar, a paladin dedicated to Heironeous. Anyways, we were adventuring in some necropolis, and stumbled across some skeletons. After what could charitably described as a scuffle and uncharitably described as a disagreement between dance partners, my brother suddenly exclaimed, "Wait a minute! I'm a paladin! My touch kills these things!"

So he throws his sword aside and runs at a skeleton with palms in front of him readying a Lay on Hands. Since the DM was as new as I was, he simply had him do an attack roll, and my brother scored a critical. The DM declared that the force of Pluhkar's push, coupled with the divine powers of Lay on Hands essentially caused the skeleton to explode into a scattering of bones! I could almost hear the sound of bowling pins being knocked down. We made short work of the remaining skeletons.

Following that session, we dubbed the maneuver "The Critical Push", and it's a neverending source of chuckle for us, even though that was years ago!:smallamused:

Aramil Liadon
2007-10-14, 09:07 PM
I was playing an Ebberon campaign, and we were walking across a bridge in sharn on our way ... somewhere.
*snip*
The DM couldn't come up with any reason why we couldn't, so we got to bypass most of his dungeon.:smallbiggrin:

The university. And next time, all the windows will be boarded.

It is important to note that:
1. He grabbed everyone, putting himself over max carrying capacity. This meant that he too started to fall, until he smartened up and dropped the winged dragonborn and the wizard. Almost a TPK in the first session! So close! Bridge falls, everybody dies!
2. They got lost in a corridor. It was shaped almost exactly like a 4, and they got lost.

I don't know about the players, but I know I had fun.

triforcel
2007-10-14, 09:09 PM
I just remembered another humorous story. We're playing a gestalt campaign, partially to make up for the fact that we could only get a party of three and a DM together with any regularity. Anyways, the party consists of warlock/rogue(me), warlock/hexblade, and a barbarian/sorcerer(planning to go rage mage), with my character focusing more on out of battle invocations and the hexblade focusing on combat oriented invocations. A couple of sessions into the game our party is traveling through the mountains when we stumble upon a lone hill giant. Before we can come to an agreement on whether we should bother to fight the lummox, he spots us and initiates combat. The first round goes pretty well until the thing hits the hex for a good amount of damage. To solve this I target the giant's club with baleful utterance and one failed will save later he's unarmed and soon toppled. After the barbarian removes his axe from the giant's skull, the hex deems it necessary to further desecrate the corpse by defecating in it's mouth. No sooner has he done so than we spot a group of hill giants approaching, looking for there now fallen comrade. Quickly the hex and I flee the scene to the nearby cliff face where we manage to find a cave to duck into until the giants pass. Unfortunately the barbarian failed to spot the cave and is standing right next to the carcass as the band of giants approach and surprisingly enough request (read demand) to know what had happened to their recently deceased comrade. The barbarian replies, "I don't know. A bear or something," and the five to six giants set off to find a bear to kill.

Leicontis
2007-10-14, 09:53 PM
There's a small one-shot module I built a few years back that I've run several times. More or less, the party is sent to clear goblins out of a small estate. Some of these runs have produced...interesting...events.

First, I had my brother, who I had only just introduced to D&D, playtest the module. When his party reached the weakly-barricaded front door of the fortified manor house, he had his 18 STR dwarven barbarian knock. He waited until he heard an answer from inside, then kicked in the door. The goblin guards made their rolls to dodge the flying door, but since then I've had a soft spot for new players.

A later time, the party decided that they didn't feel like fighting through the goblins, so it would be easier to just burn the town. Early on, they burned a building that contained a wand of Levitate. Since the number of charges remaining in the wand equaled the number of people in the party, I decided to leave them hovering for a while. Once they got down, they continued burning. Eventually, they got to a hedge maze, which has a closed-off section composed of enchanted hedge, inside of which is treasure. This hedge was enchanted to be virtually impossible to climb, or to put a hole through (at least for level 1 characters). The only way to get through the hedge was with a specially-enchanted scythe elsewhere on the estate. A scythe which, incidentally, had burned with the building it was in. So, they decide that if they can't climb or penetrate the hedge, they'll get over it by less orthodox means. They tie a rope to the halfling, and throw him over as a grappling hook. The half-orc pushes while the halfling pulls to get the elf over, then the elf and halfling help pull the half-orc over. After retrieving the loot, they repeat the operation in the other direction.