View Full Version : A Poem (PLEASE CRITICIZE!)

2007-10-23, 07:50 PM
I've written a poem. It's not very good, but I'd like some feedback. Here it is:
One-eyed Odin
A-hanging on his tree
Nine whole nights
All for the old runes
Now known but by earned men
But once by all folk
no man was called magus
Without the Futhark
Also Odin
Risked life and limb
And battled giants
For the poets' drink,the Skaldic mead
And now I ask you
How would you feel?
If you were hanged on the World's Tree
For an alphabet no longer used
So come and taste the Skaldic mead
Let the Muses whisper
Their secrets in your ear
And,once in a blue moon
Write with the runes.

2007-10-28, 02:21 PM
Yay! :smile: its about cool stuff!!

I like the story behind it and it is well written... though I cant see the rhythm (not just here, but in all poems... so you know... i cant really judge that)

2007-10-28, 02:23 PM
Thanks for the input.:smallbiggrin:

2007-10-28, 02:58 PM
Well, I cannot really comment as I do not know much about Nordic mythology. Maybe try and add some more rhyme in there to help it flow? Not that poems need rhyme, but I feel it helps.

The Neoclassic
2007-10-29, 07:13 AM
I like the premise, but even before I saw other people's comments, I was thinking along the same lines that they were- rhythm would add a lot. You could do some research into feet and meters, or just pay a bit more attention to syllable distribution. Actually, I think if it was more structed and had a strong, consistent rhythm, it'd be an excellent poem. That would require a decent amount of rewriting and revising, however, but if you're up to it, do it and post it!

2007-10-29, 05:08 PM
I feel I should take the part about the muses out and replace them with a similar figure from Norse mythology... And you all are right of course, there's no real meter at all.