Teachers in the Playground

[The Extinguisher]

Because trends are good things sometimes.

So, who here is a teacher, and has some teaching stories and such.
Now, technically, I'm not a teacher yet, but I've already set the stuff in motion to be on my way to teach. I just have to get through University. And the rest of highschool.

But anyway, teacher stuff.

[Gungnir]

I'm not a teacher, but I'm related to 6 (counting ones in college).

[Green Bean]

Well, I have a parent who teaches elementary school. I picked up a great deal about the profession (and why I never, ever want to teach :smalltongue:). I helped out, mostly doing computer stuff, like creating newsletter outlines and making marking rubrics. Though there was a fun few weeks where the class studied Harry Potter, and I was called upon to use my obsessive knowledge of Philosopher's Stone to create reading comp questions.

[hyperfreak497]

Though there was a fun few weeks where the class studied Harry Potter, and I was called upon to use my obsessive knowledge of Philosopher's Stone to create reading comp questions.

Oh, you silly Brits and your different titles for books. It's "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" here in America.

[Green Bean]

Oh, you silly Brits and your different titles for books. It's "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" here in America.

Don't forget the rest of us colonials! Not all of us keep ourselves separated so forcibly from their 'motherland'. :smallamused:

[hyperfreak497]

Don't forget the rest of us colonials! Not all of us keep ourselves separated so forcibly from their 'motherland'. :smallamused:

I'm dumb. Explain yourself.

[Pyro]

He's Canadian. Canada was a British colony for about the same time the original colonies were I think, except they didn't have a Revolution. Sometime in the 80s or 70s, I can't remember, Canadians went to the British government and asked nicely for their independence.

[Green Bean]

I'm dumb. Explain yourself.

I'm Canadian. We kept the Philosopher's Stone title.

Because we're awesome!

[hyperfreak497]

Oh, jeeze, I always thought Canada was a French colony (French-Canadian, ey?). I'll have to brush up my North American, non-US History.

My apologies.

[Green Bean]

Oh, jeeze, I always thought Canada was a French colony (French-Canadian, ey?).

We were a little bit of both, to be honest.

[The Extinguisher]

Pfft, French-Canada is as far removed from France as my rear-end is from the dark side of Europa.

I mean no offense, but's spend five minutes with someone from France and someone from Quebec, and you can tell the difference.

[Green Bean]

Pfft, French-Canada is as far removed from France as my rear-end is from the dark side of Europa.

I mean no offense, but's spend five minutes with someone from France and someone from Quebec, and you can tell the difference.

No arguments here. I was just pointing out that hyperfreak's mistake was perfectly reasonable, because Canada really was partially a French colony early on.

[Trazoi]

Bringing this back to the original topic, I'm qualified to be a high school maths teacher, however after I got my diploma I headed back to grad school. The few months of on-the-job training I got in my course convinced me that it wasn't the job for me. I've also taught a few tutorial classes at university too.

I'm not sure I can think of some good teaching stories however; nothing springs to mind.

[MisterSaturnine]

Well, not out of High School yet (I wish it would die. Painfully) but I'd like to teach. At the very least, I'd like to teach for just 2 years. Probably Acting, Writing, English, or History.

[ocato]

I'm studying to become a history teacher actually.

What happened was, Canada was the 'good' sibling and we were the rebel cool one, and we go up there and tell Canada that Mom (england) is insufferable and we're gonna run away on our motorcycle because she doesn't get us. Then we asked if Canada wanted to come along and he was all like "Noooo, mummy will be cross with me! *cries, snuggling blanket*" and so we were like "pft, whatev" and then we France won the American Revolution. Then later, Canada asked politely if it could move out, but by then it was the 40 year old creep who lives with his parents, so England was like "Yes, in fact I'm kicking you out. Go kiss a girl, for christ's sake"

Remember the rule! Talk to me like I wasn't joking and you owe me a house!

[Amotis]

Just got into a music theory teaching program. Not sure if I ever want to teach but it's a fun. I'm assistant to the graduate teaching assistant. Err, I mean Assistant Graduate Teacher. Same thing. :smallamused:

[geek_2049]

I have substitute taught high school and I am a TA for introductory microeconomics.

[Closet_Skeleton]

No arguments here. I was just pointing out that hyperfreak's mistake was perfectly reasonable, because Canada really was partially a French colony early on.

But so were the entirity of the states involved in the Louisiana purchase. Just because the USA speaks English doesn't mean it's an English colony. The USA doubled in size in the years after the War of Independance.

Wait... the topic? I have teacher relatives, but I don't intend to teach. I wish anyone who does teach good luck though, because I don't want to live with the next generation if you do a bad job.

[InaVegt]

But so were the entirity of the states involved in the Louisiana purchase. Just because the USA speaks English doesn't mean it's an English colony. The USA doubled in size in the years after the War of Independance.

Wait... the topic? I have teacher relatives, but I don't intend to teach. I wish anyone who does teach good luck though, because I don't want to live with the next generation if you do a bad job.

Not too mention roughly one third of the USA is former Mexico, which was a spanish colony, IIRC.

[Omniplex]

I'm not a teacher, nor am I studying to be one, but my girlfriend wants to be an english teacher, and my cousin and his wife are both high school teachers.

[hyperfreak497]

...my girlfriend wants to be an english teacher, and my cousin and his wife are both high school teachers.

I thought that said my girlfriend, my cousin and my wife at first, and I made a :smalleek: face. Talking about your relationships with multiple women on the internet. Woooooboy...

More on topic, my ex-girlfriend used to tell me all the time that she wants to be a Kindergarden teacher, and I've considered it. I'd rather be a writer for a living, but I know I'm going to be an English major, so if writing doesn't work out, I could just teach English or some such.

[Closet_Skeleton]

I'd rather be a writer for a living, but I know I'm going to be an English major, so if writing doesn't work out, I could just teach English or some such.

Many Rich Writers were teachers (and a surprising number were Priests) before they had enough money from writing to quit their day job. There are of course plenty of teachers who failed to make a living from writing.

There's also those writers who visit primary schools to talk about writing.

[bluewind95]

I'm not professionally a teacher, but can almost be considered my mom's apprentice. She's been a teacher since I can remember, actually, and I've watched her give class and relate to the students and such. We've discussed things about psychology and teaching a lot. As a result, I'm capable of helping her with tutoring and such in the evenings. Which is my current non-official job. I tutor kids in English and Science and such and even take over a few of her classes when she gets too many kids.

I seem to have had a fascination with watching her classes when I was a little child. I didn't learn to read at school. I actually learned to read from a very young age by sitting and watching her classes (she was a teacher for deaf people at that time: an oral deaf educator) and then playing with the letter boards she had for teaching. I learned to put words together with the sounds and learned to read that way.

My first teaching experience? I was about 7 or 8 and I taught my sister to read in the same way I learned (that is, by putting the sounds of the letters together).

[zeratul]

I'm studying to become a history teacher actually.

What happened was, Canada was the 'good' sibling and we were the rebel cool one, and we go up there and tell Canada that Mom (england) is insufferable and we're gonna run away on our motorcycle because she doesn't get us. Then we asked if Canada wanted to come along and he was all like "Noooo, mummy will be cross with me! *cries, snuggling blanket*" and so we were like "pft, whatev" and then we France won the American Revolution. Then later, Canada asked politely if it could move out, but by then it was the 40 year old creep who lives with his parents, so England was like "Yes, in fact I'm kicking you out. Go kiss a girl, for christ's sake"

Remember the rule! Talk to me like I wasn't joking and you owe me a house!

Ok that was just sheer awesome. I would sig it if it weren't so long *puts in facebook quotes*

[Cyrano]

I like to think of it more of America running behind the back fence to sniff liquid paper whilst Canada went out and got a real job, using the money to get REAL drugs behind England's back.

[Catch]

Well, I'm an English major right now, mostly because wordcraft is my gift, but I've been toying with the idea of teaching Literature or Composition for a while. Those kinds of classes always satisfied me in a certain literary sense, so I fancied the notion of sharing that appreciation with kids like me.

Then again, I doubt I could tolerate students anything like me. I drove quite a few faculty members to bouts of depression in my day.

[Chronos]

Graduate student here. I pay my way most semesters by teaching classes or labs, and when I graduate, I'll probably be a professor.

Amusing stories? The first one that comes to mind was when one of my students went and complained at the end of the class to the department head that the class I taught was supposed to be an easy A, and that since I didn't give her one, I was obviously a terrible teacher, and that the head should change her grade. Needless to say, he thought differently.

[CrazedGoblin]

Oh, you silly Brits and your different titles for books. It's "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" here in America.

In America!:smallbiggrin:

[Kitya]

I am not a teacher, altho I come from a family of teachers.

My mother was a preschool teacher for over 20 years. My father teaches computer classes on a farming software during the winter. IE when he's not actually farming. My grandmother was a schoolhouse teacher.

Hubby's side: His father went back to university after he retired and got his computer science degree. He now substitute teaches at the highschool and the local tech university. His mother taught CCD for many years before her health got too bad. HE is an engineer... which, as any engineer can tell you, means that he's a suppressed teacher. "Inside every engineer is a teacher screaming to be let out".

I have thought about teaching, but I would want to teach adults in those 2 week classes. Classes where the students WANT to be there, and where the classes are always different so I don't get bored.

*chuckles at the whole Canada USA debate*

(side note, don't know how many of you watch Jeopardy, but the final question last night was on american historical architecture ... asking who built such and such a building, and that he also built a famous building that burned during the war of 1812. I had no clue, but I knew what building it was referring to! and the guy that won? Canadian... :smallbiggrin: *wanders off humming "The War of 1812" by the Arrogant Worms*)

[hyperfreak497]

Then again, I doubt I could tolerate students anything like me. I drove quite a few faculty members to bouts of depression in my day.

You and me both, man. You and me both.

[Gaelbert]

Both my parents are teachers. My dad is an elementary P.E. teacher and my mom is a kindergarten teacher. As for funny stories, every school day since the end of summer my mom has a student that has thrown a tantrum for two hours a day, if not more. That's more sad than funny, though. I also get to hear all sorts of funny stories about the No Child Left Behind program.

[Sir_Norbert]

My mother was a part-time primary school teacher until she "retired" (as I mentioned in another thread a while back, she is on permanent sick leave due to a brain tumour). Strangely enough, that hasn't put me off wanting to go into teaching (largely because I can't find anything else I think I could cope with and would be good at) but I'm intending to apply to teach mathematics at high-school level. Just have to see if I can get anywhere with that.

Incidentally..... you guys do know J K Rowling is British? It's obviously the British title that's the original and the American one that's a silly invention. The historical legendary artefact it refers to was actually called the philosopher's stone, after all.

[Swedish chef]

I worked as a highschool teacher for 1.5 years, teaching basic computer class (office, computer do's and don't and so on) It was great but since I had no degree I could'nt continue and when I tried to get my degree everything "went south" to use the firendly version of saying it (this story is usually told oozing with bitterness and enough swears to fill several buckets)

[Closet_Skeleton]

Amusing stories? The first one that comes to mind was when one of my students went and complained at the end of the class to the department head that the class I taught was supposed to be an easy A, and that since I didn't give her one, I was obviously a terrible teacher, and that the head should change her grade. Needless to say, he thought differently.

He actually said out loud about something being an "easy A"? Some people don't understand the value of tact.

I just remembered that my Uncle is an English as a foreign language teacher in Hong Kong.


Incidentally..... you guys do know J K Rowling is British? It's obviously the British title that's the original and the American one that's a silly invention. The historical legendary artefact it refers to was actually called the philosopher's stone, after all.

I hope most people realise that. The fact that the book is obviously set in England would probably hint that.

Incidently, she was also a teacher.

[hyperfreak497]

Incidentally..... you guys do know J K Rowling is British? It's obviously the British title that's the original and the American one that's a silly invention. The historical legendary artefact it refers to was actually called the philosopher's stone, after all.

I'm fully aware.

[Ascobol]

I teach piano... And I'm fifteen! :smallbiggrin:

Also, I plan on (maybe) becoming a teacher when I'm older. Maybe Drama. Or music. Or English.

^_^

[RandomLogic]

I am a Teaching Assistant if that counts! I teach an introduction to Electrical Engineering class where I'm going for my Masters.

[T'ze'hai]

I was a teacher in Biology and Natural science for 3 years. Highschool, mind you. I finally figured I don't like teens when they try everything so they won't have to learn anything (and even get their parents to help them with that!) so I quit and I now work as a civil servant for our government, in phytosanitary knowledge development.
Before I started teaching on highschool, I was a teaching assistant in uni in my student life. Because I was of almost the same age as the students I had, some tried to seduce me to get higher grades. I don't fall for that :smallbiggrin: .

[dish]

I'm a teacher. I've been a teacher for ... um ... more years than I care to mention in public... Ok, I'll admit it. I've been a full-time teacher since 1995. Ouch.

I've loved every minute of it. Even the minutes during which I felt as if I was trapped within a highly-personalised circle of hell. It might have sometimes been hellish, but, trust me, it has never once been boring. Interesting? - yes. Exciting? - definitely. Challenging? - indubitably. Stimulating? - you have no idea. Boring? - Ha! (Though I did once nod off in the middle of an exam I was invigilating and fall off the chair. In front of 60 students. That was a tad embarrassing.)

I love teaching because of the people I meet. I've had up to 400 different students in front of me per week: happy ones, sad ones, active ones, passive ones, ones so shy that getting them to speak was like squeezing blood from a stone, and ones so out-going that you can't shut them up. Ones who love learning because they find it so easy, ones who've long since given up and shut off. I've taught future actors, actresses, writers, journalists, athletes, managers, policemen, fire-fighters, teachers, lawyers, and (I'm not 100% sure of these, but sadly, it is highly likely) drug-dealers and prostitutes. Every single one of them brought something new to my classroom. They all taught me something. Just like Hera****us and his river, you can never teach the same lesson twice because the students are always different.

If my students have learned even one percent of the amount they've taught me, then I've been a successful teacher. The high of a successful lesson can leave you buzzing for the rest of the day. The low of an unsuccessful lesson will soon pass, because you can always try again next time.

For those of you on the boards who may be working on a teaching qualification, or thinking of starting one, all I can say is <demon roach voice> Do It. Do It. Do It. </demon roach>

However, some words of advice:
- When I was starting out an experienced teacher told me, "The first four years are the worst. After that it gets easier." This is pretty much true, but in my experience the first year was just ghastly beyond words, the second year was infinitely better, and things have generally continued to improve since then.
- Teaching is generally an under-paid profession. If you love teaching, this is something you will have to accept. (That or marry money.)
- If a 13 year old decides to throw his chair at an annoying classmate, I strongly recommend that you do not follow your first instincts to fling your body in between them, because ow, that chair hurt.
- If a 15 year old decides it would be a laugh to come to class high, don't mess about, send him to the head before he starts ricocheting off the walls.
- If another 15 years old who's really been annoying you decides to jump out of the (ground floor) window, don't encourage him in the vain hope that he'll just skive off for the rest of the lesson. Because he won't. He'll come back in through a different window and knock the bookcase over in the process.
- If you arrive in a classroom to discover a 14 year old showing off to his mates by dancing on the (third floor) window ledge, don't shout at him. Speak gently, quietly, softly and reasonably until he gets down. Then scream at him and send him to the head.
- Keep a record of your favourite student howlers, because if you don't you'll forget them, and then you'll be sad.
(Question: When do you use a comma? Student answer: I used one last week!)

Disclaimer: horror stories mentioned above are all completely true and unfabricated. However, they did occur during my earliest and least-confident years of teaching. Nothing like this has happened to me for a long, long time.