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Lord Tataraus
2007-11-20, 11:47 AM
Download the Avatar D20 pdf from here. (http://www.bestsharing.com/files/0FyfjJ372625/Avatar%20D20%20Draft.pdf.html)

This is the thread to discuss changes to formating and various errors in the Avatar D20 pdf so as not to derail other threads. I have received one review so far and I am currently looking into making those changes, here is the review from levi:

Suggestions for Improving the PDF

Now that that massive critique of the text is out of the way, I have some suggestions to make to improve the PDF specifically.

Firstly, in some cases, a section of rules (such as a single seed) text is split over two pages. While not a major issue in PDF format, this could be inconvient when the document is printed out. It would be better to arrange the sections such that sections are not split like this. Alternatively, if it is desired to keep the page count down, any such splits should not split a paragraph, and, where applicable, the spliting of subsections (such as a bending form) should be avoided.

Also, it seem to me that the vertical spacing between sections (such as bending seeds) varies. It should be the same.

The black on dark brown coloration of the table headers is difficult to read. Either a different background color should be used or the foreground color should be changed to something lighter than the background, such a white. The table code on these boards uses the same color scheme, except, the header text is white.

Some of the artwork has thin walled black outlines around it, while others do not. Those without these boxes look better and this style should be adopted throughout. Also, most of the artwork is captioned with a title and the artist, while others simply say "Artwork by Whoever". The ones with a title look better and titles should be provided for the currently unentitled images. Finally, the title "Generic Waterbender" is terrible. Even "A Waterbender" or "Waterbender" would be better, although, something like "Northern Water Tribe Bender" would be nice.

A few more notes on artwork. The size and style of the artwork varies considerably. While some difference in style is to be expected when mutiple artists work on a project, the size issues should be addressed. A standard height for the images at the start of a class chapter should be decided apon and used consistantly. Likewise for the closing artwork for those classes that have some.

One peice that stands out is the Tiger Blade art. It is very well done, but is much larger than the other classes opening art. It should be scaled down such that the heigh of the figure is consistant with the other artwork. The other imagery in the Martial Artist chapter is pixelated and, as such, looks blurry.

Question: Where do you find there is "Black text on a dark brown background"? I formated the tables in the exact coloration of the tables on the boards. As for the artwork, I have little choice and can only choose to include the best I'm given. I have asked for a certain size, but I have not all have submitted in that size so I've had to scale the artwork down and that might cause variations. I didn't want to make the smaller pieces too big so they may seem smaller.

I will be working on improving the pdf over my thanksgiving break and should have a new draft up by November 26-27th, until then I would like as much review as possible so the next draft will need very few changes.

- Lord Tataraus

levi
2007-11-20, 01:27 PM
Question: Where do you find there is "Black text on a dark brown background"? I formated the tables in the exact coloration of the tables on the boards.

At the top of the tables, in the headers which say what each column is. On the boards it's white, in the PDF, it's black. However, if you're not seeing it, it may be an issue with my version of Adobe Reader. I'm running Linux and there hasn't been a port of version 8 yet, so I'm using ver 7.0.9.


As for the artwork, I have little choice and can only choose to include the best I'm given. I have asked for a certain size, but I have not all have submitted in that size so I've had to scale the artwork down and that might cause variations. I didn't want to make the smaller pieces too big so they may seem smaller.

Well, that makes sense. The notes about the artwork where more of a minor thing, but I tried to include everything I noticed. While not a major issue, if I where wrighting a formal review (or something), it'd loose a few points for it. I also understand that "beggers can't be choosers", so it's not as if you can demand improvements to the art. However, a nicely worded suggestion to the artists may get some results.


I will be working on improving the pdf over my thanksgiving break and should have a new draft up by November 26-27th, until then I would like as much review as possible so the next draft will need very few changes.

If you would like, I can cross post my review here so that people know what has already been found. On the other tentacle, to save space, I could just provide a link (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3547784&postcount=680).

Guyr Adamantine
2007-11-20, 03:39 PM
In Earthen Stride:


*snip*traveling is not bothersome anymore, nor enemy troops.
Should be:*snip* nor are enemy troops. (I think?)


You may now only move at your running speed, and the benefits of the Run feat*snip*
Should be:*snip*You may now only move at your running speed for the duration of this seed, while you gain the benefits of the Run feat*snip*

In the Bending Feats section:

It should be called New Feats, since Disrupt Bending is not a bending feat.
Disrupt Bending should have the General descriptor, for the same reason as above.
Crafting Feats should be in the New Feats Section.

Lord Tataraus
2007-11-20, 05:11 PM
@ Guyr Adamantine - I'll reformat the feats and fix those errors.

@ levi - it's because you're using an older version of Adobe that you get black instead of white text in the tables. I don't know what I can do about that, but I'll look into it. As for the artwork thing, yes its minor, but I'd like it to look more than just passable, I've asked for the artwork to be resubmitted in a larger size and I've got some response so hopefully that will be fixed up.

Does anyone have a suggestion for who to organize the version 1.0 benders with the revised? I'm going to have an intro-type page that describes the various variants and why there are two sets of benders, but besides that I'm kind of lost. I'll try to get the version 1.0 benders in the pdf by next week, but I'm not promising I'll get that done.

ErrantX
2007-11-20, 06:33 PM
Why aren't all of the martial arts styles in the MA thread in our little manual here? Seems like we're missing a few. Are we waiting to play test on them or hammer out a few more things for them?

-X

Lord Tataraus
2007-11-20, 06:48 PM
Why aren't all of the martial arts styles in the MA thread in our little manual here? Seems like we're missing a few. Are we waiting to play test on them or hammer out a few more things for them?

-X

All the martial artist styles for the avatar project were included. Only 7 styles are cannon, the rest are for expanded use (i.e. not official for the Avatar project).

I was planning on making a pdf just for every Martial Artist style but I don't have enough yet and I have very few advanced styles.

Xiagu
2007-11-20, 09:17 PM
:confused: ...wait, some of those things (for example, the text of the Earthen Stride seed) are things that I fixed in my edited version. (which I will get around to uploading soon)

Not to mention that the PDF still contradicts itself about bending while pinned/grappled:
Bending forms cannot be used while
pinned, but a bender can attempt to use a form while grappling by adding +10 to the Bending DC, and must make DC 20
Concentration check in order to successfully use the spell.
A
bender may not use bending forms while grappled or pinned, and takes -10 to the Waterbending check to do a form while
prone.
Corrections:

It's the first case (bending is allowable while grappled w/ penalty and concentration check)
"use the spell" should probably be changed to "execute the form" or the like
"Waterbending" should be changed to just "Bending"


EDIT: After finally getting around to reading the first thread, most of my comments were mentioned! Levi did what I was too initmidated to do...

Grr, now I'm going to post all of my corrections...

Lord Tataraus
2007-11-20, 09:43 PM
:confused: ...wait, some of those things (for example, the text of the Earthen Stride seed) are things that I fixed in my edited version. (which I will get around to uploading soon)

Not to mention that the PDF still contradicts itself about bending while pinned/grappled:
Corrections:

It's the first case (bending is allowable while grappled w/ penalty and concentration check)
"use the spell" should probably be changed to "execute the form" or the like
"Waterbending" should be changed to just "Bending"


EDIT: After finally getting around to reading the first thread, most of my comments were mentioned! Levi did what I was too initmidated to do...

Grr, now I'm going to post all of my corrections...

I copied the text straight from the proofread version you sent me. Also, don't be intimidated to post all corrections, I want to make this better quality than the wizards' books :smalltongue:

Xiagu
2007-11-20, 09:51 PM
I copied the text straight from the proofread version you sent me.

*woozy voice* Whaaaa? You did? Must've been some old version or something, I was sure I fixed the grappling thing at least...

Since it's too hard to piece out what I changed, I'll proofread the PDF tomorrow (on paper!) and post my corrections then, under the delusion that I'll have more time tomorrow than I had tonight. :smallwink:

Mephibosheth
2007-11-20, 11:48 PM
Here are an Airbending seed, a few feats, and other various stuff that (as far as I can tell) are widely agreed-upon but not included in the PDF. It's understandable, since I don't think they were ever added to the front page of the original thread, but I'm pretty sure they had been approved. Here they are.

Air Sweep (Template)
Base DC: 15
Making exaggerated sweeping motions with her hands, an Airbender can create gusts of wind that rush in any direction she chooses. Any time an Airbender uses a form that could normally only originate in her square, she can choose to have that form originate from any point within 10 feet and proceed in any direction she chooses. Additionally, an Airbender can cause the form to originate at a more distant point by adding 2 to the Airbending DC for every additional 5-foot increment. If the form would begin outside of the Airbenderís normal bending range, the standard penalties apply.

In addition, by adding 10 to the DC of the seed, an Airbender can make her forms move vertically either up or down. Creatures caught in an upward-moving form take falling damage as usual once the form ends (unless the Airbender choses to prevent this somehow). Airborne creatures caught in a downward-moving form take falling damage as if they had fallen an additional 20 feet.

Disperse Attack
Prerequisites: Deflect Attack as a class ability, 8 ranks in any Bending skill
Benefit: You have mastered the defensive techniques presented by your element, allowing you to avoid even the most ferocious of attacks. In addition to being able to deflect attacks as normal, you can partially or completely negate area of effect bending forms as well. As an immediate action that uses up one of your Deflect Attack opportunities, you may make an opposed bending check against your opponent. If you succeed, you negate the effects of the form for the 5-foot square you occupy. For every 5 by which you win the opposed bending check, you can negate the effect of the form for an additional 5-foot square, which must be adjacent to another square you are able to effect with this ability. For example, if you win the opposed bending check by 10, you can negate the area of attack form in three 5-foot squares.
Normal: You can only negate or deflect effects requiring an attack roll with your Deflect Attack ability.

Behind the Back
Darting forward and circling your opponent, you manage to position yourself behind her back and avoid her strikes.
Prerequisites: Dodge feat or a dodge bonus to AC as a class feature, Tumble 9 ranks
Benefit: As a full-round action, you move into your opponentís square and behind her back, rotating as she spins and moving as she moves. Whenever the opponent targets you with an attack, you make a Tumble opposed by her attack roll. You may add any Dodge bonuses to you have to your AC to this opposed check. If your check exceeds her attack roll, you are able to remain behind her and the attack is negated. If you fail, the attacker doesnít need to make an additional attack roll, but must still hit your AC. You do not threaten any squares while using this maneuver.

If the opponent moves, you may either elect to move with her, or may remain where you are (though neither of you provokes an attack of opportunity for moving out of each otherís spaces). An opponent can attempt to trick you using a Bluff check. If he/she wins this Bluff check, you cannot move with her. You can remain behind your opponentís back as long as you succeed in opposed checks. If you are successfully hit by the opponent, you automatically move into an adjacent square of your choice and your attempt ends (though you can initiate another as a full-round action).

Also, I don't think we ever resolved whether we were going to go with the two feats for drawing water from the air/plant life or whether we were going to combine them into one. I think only one feat is really necessary, but we should discuss the issue.

Mephibosheth

Lord Tataraus
2007-11-21, 12:05 AM
I knew there was something we were missing from the directory, thanks Mephibosheth!

I've been doing a lot of editing lately and I just want to thank you guys for going over this for me to pick up what I missed which I'm sure is a lot.

BizzaroStormy
2007-11-21, 12:10 AM
See, no I wish I had that Behind the Back feat in my match in the playtest, would've ended it much faster.

Xiagu
2007-11-21, 06:27 AM
Air Sweep (Template)
Base DC: 15
Making exaggerated sweeping motions with her hands, an Airbender can create gusts of wind that rush in any direction she chooses. Any time an Airbender uses a form that could normally only originate in her square, she can choose to have that form originate from any point within 10 feet and proceed in any direction she chooses. Additionally, an Airbender can cause the form to originate at a more distant point by adding 2 to the Airbending DC for every additional 5-foot increment. If the form would begin outside of the Airbenderís normal bending range, the standard penalties apply.

In addition, by adding 10 to the DC of the seed, an Airbender can make her forms move vertically either up or down. Creatures caught in an upward-moving form take falling damage as usual once the form ends (unless the Airbender choses to prevent this somehow). Airborne creatures caught in a downward-moving form take falling damage as if they had fallen an additional 20 feet.

That looks awfully similar to the Air Blasts with Airbender Weapons sidebar, but it's better written and allows up and down motion. (And has a better name!)

On the subject of the Air Blasts with Airbender Weapons, if someone would rewrite the 'Linear Blast' form so that it's described clearly (by all means, change the name, too), I'd greatly appreciate it.

Mephibosheth
2007-11-21, 10:07 AM
Yeah, I posted it, got a few favorable comments and no real opposition, but it was never added to the Airbender seed list (which is understandable, given how busy Eigth_Seraph was/is) so it kinda got overlooked and the staff use was drafted to do basically the same thing.

Guyr Adamantine
2007-11-21, 11:21 AM
Fourth time I change Palm Bow, as I noticed it was a shiny template, and that didn't make sense.
Palm Bow(Template)
Base DC: 10
By the sole movement of your hands, you bring in existence a tunnel of rushing winds between your palms. Munitions flow from their quivers to your target in fiendish accuracy.
Applications: By adding +10 to the Airbending DC of an Air Blast (Throw), you may use it with projectiles(Arrows, bolts, shurikens, etc...). As a full-round action, if you have enough projectiles at hand, you may reunite these in an endless, dangerous flood. You may launch 1/2 your Airbender level in arrows, bolts or bullets at the same time and of the same kind, toward a line in range. The foes are allowed a Reflex Saving Throw, DC: 10+ Base Attack Bonus+ Wis Bonus, plus the attack bonus you gain from Air Blast (Throw) for half damage. The ray deals the same damage as the projectiles used, and rolls the number of projectiles in dices. You only make one Airbending check for them all.

levi
2007-11-21, 03:07 PM
I regards to the Martial Artists (which I haven't bothered to proof yet), is Serpent Strangler going to be an offical Avatar style once it's finished? I kinda got the impression that LT was considering it, but I'm not sure. Or was it going to just be a non-Avatar style? I think it would make a nice symetry to have eight offical styles. (Of course, it's not finished yet. But when it is, what will it's status be?)

In regards to the 1.0 benders, I'd suggest spliting the PDF into formal chapters to better accomodate them. Chapter "zero" could be the introduction and explain the project as a whole, explain why there are two sets of bending classes (and two sets of martial classes, once the other set is ready), have a legal disclaimer about not laying claim to any of Nick's copyrights (this should really be added), have another legal section explaining that all content not copyright Nick is licensed under the OGL, etc.

From there, chapters one, two, and three would each have a set of classes. Chapter one would be one of the bending types. Chapter two would be the other bending type. Chapter three would be the Martial Artist and offical styles. Chapter four should be reserved for the other style of martial classes, which can be added once they're done.

Then the feats and crafting rules and anything else I'm forgetting would each be split up into chapters of thier own. Finally, a chapter (or appendix) should be added that explains which variant rules are considered standard for Avatar d20. As these rules are OGC, we may want to include the text of the rules.

This would keep all the rules in one place and reduce the number of documents required to play. As it currently is, you need a PHB, the Avatar Rules, and Unearthed Arcana or the variant rules SRD to play. Reducing this to only the Avatar doc and a PHB would be a good thing, IMNSHO.

Finally, the credits at the end seem to be missing some things. While all the main project leaders are listed, other contributors are missing. The header of that section claims that playtesting credits are listed, but I didn't see any. Also, various people wrote seeds, forms, and feats, but I don't think they're listed either. Finally, I'm not sure if this is included or not, but we should include a Special Thanks section that thanks Nick, the people and studios behind Avatar, the Giant, Wizards, any of the (legal) sources used to view the episodes for research, etc.

I think some kind of artwork on the title page would be a nice addition as well.

Lord Tataraus
2007-11-21, 09:47 PM
I regards to the Martial Artists (which I haven't bothered to proof yet), is Serpent Strangler going to be an offical Avatar style once it's finished? I kinda got the impression that LT was considering it, but I'm not sure. Or was it going to just be a non-Avatar style? I think it would make a nice symetry to have eight offical styles. (Of course, it's not finished yet. But when it is, what will it's status be?)
It was determined to not include the Serpent Strangler since there wasn't really any examples in the show, though I might decide to include it if others think it should be...


In regards to the 1.0 benders, I'd suggest spliting the PDF into formal chapters to better accomodate them. Chapter "zero" could be the introduction and explain the project as a whole, explain why there are two sets of bending classes (and two sets of martial classes, once the other set is ready), have a legal disclaimer about not laying claim to any of Nick's copyrights (this should really be added), have another legal section explaining that all content not copyright Nick is licensed under the OGL, etc.

From there, chapters one, two, and three would each have a set of classes. Chapter one would be one of the bending types. Chapter two would be the other bending type. Chapter three would be the Martial Artist and offical styles. Chapter four should be reserved for the other style of martial classes, which can be added once they're done.

Then the feats and crafting rules and anything else I'm forgetting would each be split up into chapters of thier own. Finally, a chapter (or appendix) should be added that explains which variant rules are considered standard for Avatar d20. As these rules are OGC, we may want to include the text of the rules.

This would keep all the rules in one place and reduce the number of documents required to play. As it currently is, you need a PHB, the Avatar Rules, and Unearthed Arcana or the variant rules SRD to play. Reducing this to only the Avatar doc and a PHB would be a good thing, IMNSHO.
Sounds like a good idea, I'll start working on that.


Finally, the credits at the end seem to be missing some things. While all the main project leaders are listed, other contributors are missing. The header of that section claims that playtesting credits are listed, but I didn't see any. Also, various people wrote seeds, forms, and feats, but I don't think they're listed either. Finally, I'm not sure if this is included or not, but we should include a Special Thanks section that thanks Nick, the people and studios behind Avatar, the Giant, Wizards, any of the (legal) sources used to view the episodes for research, etc.

I realize that the acknowledgments are seriously lacking, I only included my standard acknowledgments and a few others, I plan on include the rest in the official release, I've just got to trudge through the threads and get the list of names...ugh. Don't expect the complete list anytime soon.


I think some kind of artwork on the title page would be a nice addition as well.
Way ahead of you. I've already request cover art, but since it is a very large project I have yet to see actual artwork, but its coming.

Xiagu
2007-11-21, 10:28 PM
About that artwork: As a temporary filler measure, you could put the symbols of the four nations in the corners of the front cover. (The stylized flame for fire, the three spirals for air, etc.) Besides, what art would represent the project as a whole anyways?


Errors in the Rules Text

I had noticed a couple of typos in the bending rules, but I didn't bother to mention them. However, as they've made thier way into the PDF, I decided I should point them out.

First up, the rules in the Bending Overview still have contradictory statements as to whether bending while grappled is possible or not. Under Using Forms it states that it add 10 to the Bending DC and requires a DC 20 Concentration check, while under Motion, it states that it is not possible.

Also under Motion, the second sentance says "Waterbending check" where it should say "Bending check".

In the airbender's Alignment section, "ahimsa" should be italicized because it is a word in a foreign language.

In the airbender's Evasion section, the pronoun "she" is used, rather than the (airbender) standard of "he". I suspect this is becaus the text was copied from the Rouge ability, which uses "she" due to DnD's iconic rouge being female. As the iconic airbender (Aang) is male, this is incorrect.

In the Air Blasts with Airbender Weapons sidebar, it has a phrase thay say "he/she has additional modify their Air Blasts". This is wrong for several reasons. Firstly, it's completely ungrammatiacal. I suspect that it was supposed to say "has additional ways to modify", which makes sense. Secondly, the use of "he/she" is incorrect for the reasons mentioned above. The text of the Linear Blast ability also uses female pronouns.

The airbender's Improved Evasion has the same issue as Evasion (see above).

Under the Palm Bow seed, it says "Air Blast(Throw)", which should have a space before the parenthesis.

Under the Airbender's Leap seed, "ahimsa" should be italicized as well.

Under the Air Sheild seed, "Wind Wall" should be be lower case and italisized as is standard in d20 when refering to spells. It should also specify that is is refering to a spell. (I.e. "wind wall spell")

Under the Engulfing Winds seed, the Push form write-up is missing spaces in two references to "Air Blast(Push)".

Under the Tornado seed, the Push form's reference to wind wall should be standardized. (See above for details.)

Under the Create Rubble seed, "jing" should proably be italicized.

The Earthen Stride seed uses the second person pronoun "you" when all the other seeds use third person references, such as "an earthebender" or "she".

The Excavate seed is worded inconsistantly with the other seeds. It seems to have been written to avoid referencing the user of the seed very often and as a result differers from the standard tone of the seeds. It also uses ungrammatical or incomplete sentances at times.

Under the earthbender Armor seed, the Earthen Armor form uses the phrase "liquid earth", an artifact from the waterbending Armor seed. A phrase such as "loose earth" would make more sense.

The Lava Flows seed is still an earthbending seed. Wasn't it decided that this should be a firebending seed instead?

In the firebender's Other Classes section, the period at the end of the last sentence has ended up on a line by itself, falling in the space between that section and the next one.

The Explosion seed uses female pronouns while most other firebending rules use male pronouns. Which firebender are we considering the iconic one? In any event, pronoun usage should be consistant.

The Lightning seed references the Waterbending Study feat, which, as far as I know, doesn't exist.

The Water Whip seed's Capture form says "He target" where "The target" is meant (in the last sentence).

The Propel seed uses second person rather than third person pronouns and noun phrases.

The waterbender Golem seed's flavor text specifies that the golem can be made from either water, snow, or ice, but the first line of the Creation and Control section specifies only a mix of ice and snow. Later in that section, the hardness and hit point rules imply that a golem is made primarly of one form of water (water, snow, or ice).

The waterbender Golem seed has a reference to "the earthbender" in the last sentence of the Control and Creation section.

The waterbender Golem seed's Reach section has a reference to increasing the golem's "hardness", a holdover from the earthbender seed.

The Blizzard seed uses an inconsistant mix of male and female pronouns. They should all be female.

Suggestions for Improving Rules Wording Consistancy

Now that I've covered specific errors in the bending rules and classes, I've also noticed some general inconsistancies that should be addressed.

When the rules text refers to specific bending seeds seeds and forms, there are inconsistencies in the formatting. In some cases, the name is italicized, while in others, it is in a normal font. Following standard d20 conventions when refering to spells or spell-like abilities, I suggest all such references be italicizes. In any event, a standard (one way or the other) should be adopted and applied consistantly.

Throughout the rules, the use of pronouns vs noun phrases is inconsistant and leads to a somewhat random variation of tone. Some sections uses phrases such as "an earthbender" or "the firebender's" for nearly every reference to the user of a seed, form, or other ability, while others use pronouns more often.

I'd suggest that for consistancy, berevity, and avoiding repedative use of the same wording that the phrase "a(n) <foo>bender" only be used at the begining of a section and where it would be unclear otherwise. All other references to the character in question should use a pronoun of the proper gender for the class in question (Female for earth and water. Male for air and fire.)

Likewise, terms for refering to the target of a seed, form, or ability are inconsistantly used. The phrase "the target" is consistantly used in most cases and is clear and works well. However, in some cases, pronouns are used to refer to the target later in the sentence or section. While there is nothing wrong with this, the choice of pronoun to use is inconsistant and can be problematic. Some rules use "it", while other's use "they". Either is fine, but a standard should be adopted and used throughout. "They" is a better choice because it fits standard english usage and avoids neutering the subject. One case even used a gendered pronoun, which should be avoided as gendered pronouns are usually used to refer to the bender and should be reserved for that use.

While I haven't gone through the Feats chapter with the level of scrutiny I have the previous chapters, I did notice one thing. The flavor texts should be italicized, which is standard d20 practice.

Notes

All of the above was based on a proofing of the PDF and may not apply to the rules here on the boards or at the website. However, most of them do.

I've only gone through the first five chapters of the PDF (pages 1 through 39), so any errors in the later chapters are not listed above. Furthermore, while the list I've compiled is extensive, it is unlikely that is is exhaustive, so another proof reading by someone else is a good idea.

Errors in this Thread

One thing I noticed specific to the rules in this thread (and, perhaps, the web pages) is that the headers for specifc forms given under a bending seed are inconsistantly formatted. In most cases, they are underlined and italicized. However, some in some cases, the underlining has been omitted and, in (at least) one case, they are not formatted in any way.

Suggestions for Improving the PDF

Now that that massive critique of the text is out of the way, I have some suggestions to make to improve the PDF specifically.

Firstly, in some cases, a section of rules (such as a single seed) text is split over two pages. While not a major issue in PDF format, this could be inconvient when the document is printed out. It would be better to arrange the sections such that sections are not split like this. Alternatively, if it is desired to keep the page count down, any such splits should not split a paragraph, and, where applicable, the spliting of subsections (such as a bending form) should be avoided.

Also, it seem to me that the vertical spacing between sections (such as bending seeds) varies. It should be the same.

The black on dark brown coloration of the table headers is difficult to read. Either a different background color should be used or the foreground color should be changed to something lighter than the background, such a white. The table code on these boards uses the same color scheme, except, the header text is white.

Some of the artwork has thin walled black outlines around it, while others do not. Those without these boxes look better and this style should be adopted throughout. Also, most of the artwork is captioned with a title and the artist, while others simply say "Artwork by Whoever". The ones with a title look better and titles should be provided for the currently unentitled images. Finally, the title "Generic Waterbender" is terrible. Even "A Waterbender" or "Waterbender" would be better, although, something like "Northern Water Tribe Bender" would be nice.

A few more notes on artwork. The size and style of the artwork varies considerably. While some difference in style is to be expected when mutiple artists work on a project, the size issues should be addressed. A standard height for the images at the start of a class chapter should be decided apon and used consistantly. Likewise for the closing artwork for those classes that have some.

One peice that stands out is the Tiger Blade art. It is very well done, but is much larger than the other classes opening art. It should be scaled down such that the heigh of the figure is consistant with the other artwork. The other imagery in the Martial Artist chapter is pixelated and, as such, looks blurry.

Closing

I apologize for the length of this post. There where a lot of issues to adress. I also apologize if this is off topic for this thread. I posted it here because most of what I mention above applies to the rules in this thread as well as those in the PDF. If this belongs elsewhere, simply say so and I will relocate it where it belongs.

So long and keep up the good work.

(Hey, I wrote that Linear Blast seed, which has only recieved one comment, so it's also by no means final)

I think that the gender used in describing class features probably matches the gender of the person in whatever picture of the class is given. (Of course, those pictures are probably iconic members of the class anyways)

All the spells and feats from rulebooks (and even the whole combat section) use second person to refer to the character or caster. Following this reasoning, seeds should also use second person. It'd be a lot of work to change all the seeds, though...

Heading Formatting: (these are somewhat arbitrarily declared from what formatting the forums had and what formatting the PDF had)
Level 1 (Class names & Seed List headings): 13.5/16 pt (size 3 for forums), Bold, ALL CAPS, classes' color (Red, DarkBlue, Sepia, SlateGray)
Level 2 (Seed names & Base DCs, Class features): Bold, classes' color
Level 3 (Uses of seeds & their DCs): Italic, Underline, classes' color
Level 4 (Normal things like Alignment, Characteristics, etc): They used to be just Bold, but now they're 16 pt too! Apparently.

What was wrong with just 13.5 pt for big headings and plain bold for Alignment and other things?

(I hope that this formatting stuff is useful and doesn't just complicate things more...)

levi
2007-11-22, 12:49 AM
Hey, I wrote that Linear Blast seed, which has only recieved one comment, so it's also by no means final

I just commented on what was in the PDF. If anything I mentioned is due to a portion of the contents still being in draft form, I didn't know. I assumed it was a straight forward copy of the offical rules on the thread.


I think that the gender used in describing class features probably matches the gender of the person in whatever picture of the class is given. (Of course, those pictures are probably iconic members of the class anyways)

I assumed that both where true, thus the recommendations I made.


All the spells and feats from rulebooks (and even the whole combat section) use second person to refer to the character or caster. Following this reasoning, seeds should also use second person. It'd be a lot of work to change all the seeds, though...

Well, Wizards does use second person. I've seen other companies use third person. Both work. Almost all the seeds and forms are currently in third person. I'd say that we're better off standarizing on third person at this point. I've been reading them written that way for so long now, that the second person ones just looked wrong, even though that's more like standard DnD.

Although, I do think my suggestions about noun and pronoun usage should be considered. In that case, it may be just as much work as rewriting them in second person. In either event, I think a clear standard is needed for these sorts of things and that all seeds and forms should be carefully reviewed (prefereably by a single editor) with whatever standard is decided apon in mind.

Xiagu
2007-11-23, 05:35 PM
Whoooo! I finished proofing all the bending classes, and I'll try to put the corrections/suggestions up later tonight. :smallsmile:

Xiagu
2007-11-23, 06:37 PM
First set of corrections: (all I could type for now)

Creating Forms:
I suggest changing "advancing" to "augmenting".
Put a "Water" in front of the Blast, then italicize all the seed names.
Replace the Heat/Chill s (One has the slash, one doesn't) with Freeze/Melt.
Bending Range:
The bending rage is being discussed, right? (Just a note)
"If the form's DC reaches the bender's roll without completely finishing its course, it dissipates at that point and acts naturally." - What, exactly, is this trying to say?
Using Forms:
I suggest replacing "use the spell" with "execute the form".
"For more uses of the Concentration skill in Bending, look here." - Umm, what? There's nothing there.
"...though weapons and items made from materials a bender can manipulate can be spontaneously converted to use in forms." - If I read this correctly, it's saying that an earthbender can Earth Blast the stone sword they're holding, or a waterbender could Water Blast an ice chalice? This should probably be explained or rephrased.
Contested Bending:
What happens while you're trying to take control of something another bender is controlling? If a waterbender is trying to Water Whip you and you try to take control of the whip, does it prevent damage? If you take control of an earthbender's Armor seed, can you force them to move?
Motion:
Delete "grappled or" from "grappled or pinned".
Change "Waterbending check" to "Bending check".
Overbending:
Delete the sentence "All effects stack, except for the various levels of Constitution damage, though the Constitution drain does apply at the same time." That was for the old table, which didn't write out all the penalties at each level.
Also add: "Two fatigues stack to cause exhaustion, and an additional fatigue causes unconsciousness."
How long does unconsciousness last?
How about a Fortitude save to avoid sudden death?

AIRBENDER
Alignment:
As Levi said, italicize "ahimsa".
Also kill the second Alignment section. (at the bottom of the page)
Background:
I don't think the part about getting tattoos when they become a master is canon, because all the kids in Aang's flashbacks had arrows, and they certainly weren't masters.
Air Blast:
Replace the "is" after Air Blast with "in".
Change "20 long/level" to "20 feet long per level"
Italicize all the "Air Blasts" (except the one in the title)
Replace the "an airbender in "...with which an airbender can hurl..." with "he".
Replace the "the airbender" in "...away from the airbender." with "him".
Replace the "the bender" in "...and the bender gains..." with "he".
Remove the "like" in "...thrown like weapon...".
Add a "the" to "...also alter thrown object's course..." after "alter".
About that bit in Gust about the effect wind has on flying creatures, there's something about that in the DMG. (Also here (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/weather.htm#tableWindEffects).)
It says they have to make a Fortitude save, but Air Shield requires a Strength check. Shouldn't they be consistent?


More to come later. (Is this the best way to format corrections? Would you prefer a different way?)

ArmorArmadillo
2007-11-23, 08:50 PM
A few comments:
It isn't explained what the Martial Artist's bonus feats are.

On the Dragon Scholar's "Press the Advantage" ability; it's function is very confusing from how it is written.

ErrantX
2007-11-24, 05:49 PM
Another thing I see that is missing from the PDF file is the Avatar template. Was that not included purposefully?

-X

Eighth_Seraph
2007-11-24, 06:11 PM
First set of corrections: (all I could type for now)

Creating Forms:
I suggest changing "advancing" to "augmenting".
Put a "Water" in front of the Blast, then italicize all the seed names.
Replace the Heat/Chill s (One has the slash, one doesn't) with Freeze/Melt.
Bending Range:
The bending rage is being discussed, right? (Just a note)
"If the form's DC reaches the bender's roll without completely finishing its course, it dissipates at that point and acts naturally." - What, exactly, is this trying to say?
Using Forms:
I suggest replacing "use the spell" with "execute the form".
"For more uses of the Concentration skill in Bending, look here." - Umm, what? There's nothing there.
"...though weapons and items made from materials a bender can manipulate can be spontaneously converted to use in forms." - If I read this correctly, it's saying that an earthbender can Earth Blast the stone sword they're holding, or a waterbender could Water Blast an ice chalice? This should probably be explained or rephrased.
Contested Bending:
What happens while you're trying to take control of something another bender is controlling? If a waterbender is trying to Water Whip you and you try to take control of the whip, does it prevent damage? If you take control of an earthbender's Armor seed, can you force them to move?
Motion:
Delete "grappled or" from "grappled or pinned".
Change "Waterbending check" to "Bending check".
Overbending:
Delete the sentence "All effects stack, except for the various levels of Constitution damage, though the Constitution drain does apply at the same time." That was for the old table, which didn't write out all the penalties at each level.
Also add: "Two fatigues stack to cause exhaustion, and an additional fatigue causes unconsciousness."
How long does unconsciousness last?
How about a Fortitude save to avoid sudden death?
Any suggestions on the bending system or clarifications are to be placed in the bending thread, not here. Also, I've edited the parts on grappling and overbending in the past week and am going to bring up bending range in the bending thread soon. I assure you that the Overbending table, in the thread at least, and the parts below it are as they should be.

Xiagu
2007-11-24, 06:55 PM
Sorry for any confusion - Eighth_Seraph, those are the corrections for the PDF (as it was on 11/20/07), not the thread. If you were referring to the little questions about unconciousness and stuff, I was going to get around to posting them in the bending thread eventually...

And, Lord Tataraus, it would be several orders of magnitude easier to just make these changes to an editable document than it would be to type everything up. (gaak.) I don't know how to convert a PDF to a Word document or a rich text format (RTF) file, so if you could email me or otherwise get me an editable file, I'd be much obliged.

The One Correction in this Post: *drumroll*
Lord Tataraus, add in the unconciousness thing, and the -20 while grappling thing.

Lord Tataraus
2007-11-25, 06:12 PM
And, Lord Tataraus, it would be several orders of magnitude easier to just make these changes to an editable document than it would be to type everything up. (gaak.) I don't know how to convert a PDF to a Word document or a rich text format (RTF) file, so if you could email me or otherwise get me an editable file, I'd be much obliged.

While it might be easier for you to make corrections, it would make it extremely difficult for me because I'd get a bunch of different versions and they would all miss something different and I'd probably end up reading through each one to pick out the edits. Its much easier to just read your much shorter posts.

Question: How much of the SRD should be included? Or should I just include a note that this is to be used with the D20 SRD replacing the classes and magic system? What do you think?

ErrantX
2007-11-25, 06:34 PM
Question: How much of the SRD should be included? Or should I just include a note that this is to be used with the D20 SRD replacing the classes and magic system? What do you think?

I'd include the minimum necessary. I'd include the part about class defense/armor as DR, and include a note about the variant vit/wp system and where someone could find it (hyper link as well).

-X

Xiagu
2007-11-25, 09:49 PM
New changes: (I'm experimenting with a new way of showing them. Bold stuff is new, strikethoughed stuff should be removed. (Not counting the titles))


BODY OF AIR:
"Alternatively, and airbender he can cause..."
"...is, gaining a bonus towards..."
IMPROVED UNARMED STRIKE:
"...at third 3rd level..." (Just be consistent with
firsts and 1sts)
FLIGHT:
Decapitalize the "a" in "Airbender".
DODGE:
"...and combat, so long as he is unarmored and carrying no more than
a light load.. He loses this bonus while wearing armor or
carrying more than a light load."
AIR BLASTS WITH AIRBENDER WEAPONS:
As Levi said, change the "he/she" to just "he".
And the description for Linear Blast is still crap. I vote for
replacing the text in the "Change direction" use for the seed with
Mephibosheth's version of it. (As long as the crunchy part doesn't
change, so you would need a warfan or glider-staff to do it)
DEFLECT BENDING:
First, change it to "Block Bending", since that's what all the other
benders have.
"...seed airbenders an airbender learns is to
deflect the blasts from of his opponents."
De-abbreviate BAB to "base attack bonus".
"...of ten that the attempt to deflect goes. Block
Bending attempt goes."
WIND SHAPING:
Decapitalize all the Airbenders (but not the Airbending checks).
"...minor effort, an aAirbender may bend..."
I suggest replacing "move" with "push" and "pushing them away 5 feet."
with "forcing them away 5 feet."
This seed requires an opposed Strength check, but other things require
Fortitude saves. Shouldn't we be consistent? (And what's the Strength
check against?)
"...winds to form around it,. So long as an object that
weighs less than 5 pounds is within his bending range, an Airbender may
move it anywhere else within his bending range. an airbender can
move any object within his bending range as far as he could move
normally, as long as it weighs less than 5 pounds and remains within
his bending range."
"This object does not travel fast enough to cause damage." - Only if he
can only move the object as far as he could move in a move action...
IMPROVED EVASION:
Change "she" to "he".
PARTICLES:
"...within her his bending range..."
"This seed does not work unless there's there is a
generous supply of sand, loose dirt, or similar material in the
affected area."
Deformat the space after the colon of the Blind use.
"...ranged touch attack against a the target's
touch AC, taking..."
"...rendered blind until the end of its next round turn."
- Only for one round? How about for 1d3 rounds instead? (or something
similar)
RUN AS THE WIND:
"Heh. Well, good luck doing it now." - Not very 'professional', but
whatever.
"...the DC as a swift action. This seed is a swift action to
use."
"...him, and airbender can..."
"...such as a wall or pillar, at no penalty, even straight up."
"...could allow an airbender to attack while moving on a vertical
surface, with other exceptions subject to DM approval." - Make a
decision. (I don't think that those feats specifically limit
combat on vertical surfaces...) How about: "All feats or class features
relating to combat apply to combat on vertical surfaces as well." Or
something.
PALM BOW: (The new version, not the one in the PDF right now)
It needs to be Third-Personized.
"Base DC: +10"
Put a space between "projectiles" and the parenthesis, and move the
period to after "projectiles".
"...you may reunite these in an endless..." - Is "reunite" the best
word for that?
Decaptialize Airbender in "your Airbender level"
"...you may use it with multiple projectiles."
"in arrows, bolts, or bullets at the same time and of the
same kind, toward a line in range in a line up to your
maximum bending range."
"The foes Creatures caught in the line are allowed a
Reflex Saving Throw, DC: save for half damage with a DC
of 10 + the airbender's base attack bonus + his
Wisdom modifier + the attack bonus he gains from Air Blast
(Throw). , plus the attack bonus you gain from Air Blast (Throw)
for half damage."
"The ray deals the same damage as the projectiles used, and rolls
the number of projectiles in dices. line deals damage to each
creature and object in the line as if they were hit with all the
projectiles used in the seed. If the line deals enough damage to a
barrier to break through it, it continues on past the barrier if the
range permits; otherwise, it stops at the barrier."
AIR BURST:
I suggest putting an "Applications:" before the text.
Put a space in "airburst", then capitalize and italicize it.
AIR THRUST:
Change it to a seed, 'cause it's not much of a template if it can only modify Air Blast (Push). (This also involves changing the DC to 15.)
AIRBENDER'S LEAP:
Jumps are no longer limited by your height, so cut out that sentence.
AIR SCOOTER:
"...can also traverse normally impossible impassable surfaces, such as water..."
SOUND WAVES:
"...the air around herhimself as she he moves, granting her a bonus on move silently checks equal to her his Aairbender level. She He can extend this... ...by adding +10 to the Airbending DC per person."
"...damage and forcesing the victim(s) to make a Fortitude save or be deafened for the Airbender's Wisdom modifier in rounds. a number of rounds equal to the airbender's Wisdom modifier, minimum 1."
"may elect" is redundant; how about "The airbender may elect to increase the damage..."

Lord Tataraus
2007-11-26, 10:48 PM
The second draft is up! You can use the link in the OP or this one:

Avatar D20 rough draft #2 (http://www.bestsharing.com/files/0FyfjJ372625/Avatar%20D20%20Draft.pdf.html)

Edit: Sorry, I uploaded the wrong file but the correct one is up now. I have not yet included the full Acknowledgments, I know it is severely lacking.

Xiagu
2007-11-28, 09:05 PM
Not-so-random question: Which format is easier for you to convert into PDF edits? (the "Change <blah> in <generic sentence> to <edit>" vs. "generic blah edit sentence")

'cause if I'm going to type up corrections for most of 65 pages, I think you'd prefer them to be the most legible possible.

Just getting this question out so it can be answered as soon as possible.

Lord Tataraus
2007-11-28, 09:17 PM
Not-so-random question: Which format is easier for you to convert into PDF edits? (the "Change <blah> in <generic sentence> to <edit>" vs. "generic blah edit sentence")

'cause if I'm going to type up corrections for most of 65 pages, I think you'd prefer them to be the most legible possible.

Just getting this question out so it can be answered as soon as possible.

Either one is fine, though I think I'd prefer the first better. Though, if you want to use the second, go ahead. Just make sure to mention where the sentence is (not that you haven't in the past). You don't need to list line number or anything, but a generic beginning/middle/end of such and such paragraph would help a lot.

Xiagu
2007-11-30, 10:03 PM
(The style changes halfway through. I had already started typing it up with the second style, and started writing it up with the first style after you posted)

More corrections:

LEVITATE:
"...as long as the airbender concentrates..."
"...and the bender he can move up..."

AIR SCYTHE:
Deformat the spaces after the uses of this seed.
"...of air, and airbender can pound..."
"As an attack standard action, an airbender..."
"...dealing 1d6 + 1/2 of their airbender levels of bludgeoning damage..."

STORMWINDS:
Decapitalize all the "Airbenders" in the middle of sentences. (But not Airbending checks)
Italicize "Stormwinds". (first word in Gale Force use)
"...to the end of the airbender's bending range. which he may He may maintain this seed by making an Airbending check each round at half of the initial DC with a DC of half the initial check."
Move the sentence "The seed can be maintained... ...airbender's airbender level." up before the previous sentence.
"This wind begins at Severe; by adding +10 to the Airbending DC, the airbender may increase the wind speed by one category per increase. at a DC of 20 to begin at a wind category of Severe. By adding +10 to the Airbending DC, the Airbender may increase the force of this wind one stage per increase of the DC.
"...reaches 40 feet high by increasing the Airbending DC by at an additional +10 to the bending check when using Gale Force." <-- Italicize "Gale Force".

AIR SHIELD:
"An air shield forms starting immediately around the airbender and expands pushes outward to a radius of 5 feet. Any creatures or objects..."
"...unless they succeed on a Strength check against the result of the Airbending check. a successful strength check with a DC equal to the Airbending check is succeeded."
Decapitalize and italicize "Wind Wall".
"...must succeed on a Srength check..."
After poring through the current bending thread, I have determined that you meant to put the sentence "Additionally, the airbender may choose to form the air shield so that it begins at the maximum radius instead of around him." under Protect Allies.
"...but only at half speed, and any actions besides movement..."
"...is active, he the airbender can make an..."
"He The airbender must make this check..."
"...this allows the airbender to move with the shield with a fly with a speed of 20 feet (good) and a maneuverability of good."

ENGULFING WINDS:
Put a colon after the Base DC.
Change the "her" in the second sentence to "him", then put a period after it. Kill the next sentence, and put this sentence after it: "The path can make a turn of up to 45 degrees once per square of path; normal rules for diagonal movement apply.
Replace "takes" in the last sentence of the first paragraph with "is", and then delete the rest of the sentence after the words "attacks of opportunity".
First sentence in the Push use: change "effected" to "affected", delete "as if", change "the" in "by the Air Blast(Push)" to "an", and put a space in "Blast(Push)". Also change "created by an airbender with an effective level of twice this airbender's level, such" to "with twice the airbender's bending level.". Switch "creatures" and "objects", and capitalize "objects". (it's a new sentence.)
Change "pushed" in "are pushed out of the current" to "thrown".
"in a line" should probably be replaced with something more descriptive.
Capitalize "large" and "huge" (a bit after the middle of the Push use). Change "greater" to "larger" and capitalize the last "huge".
Updraft use, end of second sentence: change "costing one 5 feet of the length" to "counting as 10 feet for the purposes of path length."
Replace "upward bend" in the third sentence with "updraft".
Replace "the bonus given for updraft" in the last sentence of Downdraft with "twice the airbender's level". (<--- This is the wrong thread, but it should probably be his class level instead. Same for Updraft. Jotting this down here so I won't forget)
For Quick Draft, put a period after "along a straight upward path". Then replace the next phrase, "the path follows the rules as normal, but" with "This path is normal except it".

TORNADO:
De-bold "Disperse: ", and deformat the space after it.
Decapitalize all the "Airbenders".
Change "his/her" (first sentence) to just "his".
Change the comma after the second "Airbender" to a period, and then delete "which can be moved 40 feet per round as a move action,", insert "The tornado" before "has a 5 foot radius", delete the "and", change the period at the end of the sentence to a comma, and insert "and may be moved up to 40 feet if the airbender uses a move action to concentrate."
Change "need" in "Creatures inside the tornado need to make" to "must", and decapitalize "Save".
Change "passes" in "the creature passes the Reflex save" to "succeeds on".
Change "he/she" in the same sentence to "they".
The bonus that larger creatures get against the tornado (sentence after previous one) would be a size bonus instead of a circumstance bonus, wouldn't it?
Add "for each size category larger than the tornado they are" in between "bonus" and "to" in "Creatures that are larger than the tornado gain a +4 circumstance bonus to their Reflex Save." Also decapitalize the "Save".
Replace "turns" with "rounds", in the last sentence before the Capture use starts.
Debold "Capture: " and deformat the space after it.
Second sentence: Change "with a base" to ", that is" (note the new comma), insert "at the bottom," after "5 feet wide", and put in a comma after "at the top".
In the third sentence, replace "that creature" with "they", and capitalize the "reflex" in "in a reflex save". (<--- Is "in" the right word?)
Replace "the creature" in the fourth sentence with "they", "fails" with "fail", capitalize "reflex" (again), and change "along with" in "the air along with the tornado" to "inside".
(Pending approval on bending thread: Change ", otherwise" to "and".)
Around the middle (a line or two above): capitalize "reflex". In the next sentence, insert "the" between "in" and "tornado", replace "the creature" with "they" and change "takes" to just "take".
A bit after the middle: Decapitalize and italicize "Wind Wall", and delete the space in "any where".
Change "The tornado takes a certain amount of concentration that takes a full-round action on the part of the airbender, but the tornado itself may move up to twice the airbender's base land speed." with this: "The tornado requires a full-round action to maintain, but may move up to twice the airbender's base land speed. (The airbender moves with the tornado.)
End of the paragraph (last 2 sentences): Change "would be" to "is", "she" to "he", and change "the airbender is" in "and the airbender is falls prone" to "he". Insert "points" after "For every 5", insert a comma after "exceeds the DC", and replace "increases by 5 feet." with "of the tornado may increase by 5 feet."

zOMG the airbender's done! w00tz!

Lord Tataraus
2007-12-03, 02:28 PM
Alright, I made an outline for the organization of the pdf, what do you think?

Chapter 1 - Intro
Bending Overview
Variants used (include SRD text and links)
Explain the Bender versions and Martial Artist/Non-Bender connections
Chapter 2 - Benders, free-form version
Eighth's Airbender
Eighth's Earthbender
Eighth's Firebender
Eighth's Waterbender
Chapter 3 - Benders, Simple Version
Meph's Airbender
Meph's Earthbender
Meph's Firebender
Meph's Waterbender
Chapter 4 - Martial Artist
Dragon Scholar
Hawk-Eye Sniper
Mantis Blade Fencer
Mountain Protecter
Ocean Sentinel
Tiger Blade
Wind Warrior
Chapter 5 - Variant Non-Benders
Eighth's non-bender classes
Chapter 6 - Feats and Items
Feats
Item Enhancement
Chapter 7 - Prestige Classes
Dai-Li Agent
Discipline of the Healing Waters
Acknowledgments

FlyMolo
2007-12-07, 06:58 PM
I haven't been able to find the more recent Bending developements, like quickening and the rules about deflect bending after Welterweight No. 1.

Could these be moved to the bending overview section, for convenience?

Xiagu
2007-12-07, 08:50 PM
That organization looks good, Lord Tataraus.

First few corrections for the Earthbender!

EARTHBENDER
ADVENTURES
I'm pretty sure that "earth Kingdom" has a capitalized "Earth".
Also, I think that the "Master" in "earthbending Master" should be lowercase.

RELIGION
Capitalize "earthbenders", the first word.
Also capitalize "earth King".

BACKGROUND
Capitalize "earth Kingdom". (end of first sentence)
Change the period at the end of the second sentence to a comma, and add a "while" after it.

RACES
Again, capitalize "earth Kingdom".

CLASS SKILLS
Put a comma between "Earthbending (Wis)" and "Gather Information (Cha)".

CLASS FEATURE TABLE
Delete the "-" before "Head-On Defense". (Lvl. 7) (Must... resist... urge... to... parody... commercial...)

CLASS FEATURES
Earthbenders aren't proficient with light or medium armor anymore. Axe that sentence.
Add in a "while climbing" in between "This ability only works" and "on substances the earthbender...", in the Climb class feature.

EARTH BLAST
Change "ability" to "seed". First sentence.
Put in "bludgeoning" after "A blast deals 1d6", second sentence.
Change "A earthbender" (a bit after middleish) to "An earthbender".
Last sentence: Change "his" to "her", located in two places: "may apply his Strength modifier" and "instead of his Dexterity modifier"

BLOCK BENDING
First sentence: change "blasts from her opponents" to "blasts of her opponents".
Change "BAB" (middle of Pgraph) to "her base attack bonus".

MOVE A ROCK
Change the word "manipulate" (first sentence) to "Move a Rock" and italicize it.
Change the phrase "5 feet/round" to "5 feet per round" (Movement, first sentence)

EARTHBENDING FORMS
Delete the "s" of "works" in the parenthetical phrase "metal ores works, too;".

DUST
Change "using" (second word) to "exercising".
In Dust Cloud, change "fog" to "dust". It occurs in: "hemisphere of fog anywhere", "The fog obscures all sight", "disperses the fog in 4 rounds", and "disperses the fog in 1 round."
About attacking eyes, I remember rules about that somewhere... (Wrong thread, but just a note)