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The Vorpal Tribble
2007-11-21, 08:58 AM
Voting For Home and Hearth
http://www.photosleeve.com/d/361039-1/domovoi.jpg


The contest has ended and voting begun. See the entries below to vote for your choice.
(Note: As the poll option is still down just post your choice in this thread.)

Like all the GITP Monster Competitions, voting is open to any and all.

Voting will end on Midnight of the 30th (EST).

_/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/

List of Homebodies
Ashling (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3502018&postcount=11)
Devouring Domicile (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3461182&postcount=7)
Domestic Brownie (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3458084&postcount=6)
Dopplepunkt (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3449583&postcount=5)
Dustbunny (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3502770&postcount=12)
Fungal Banshee (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3446717&postcount=3)
Hearth Protector (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3508353&postcount=15)
Lap Dog (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3549180&postcount=16)
Lord of Rest (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3505010&postcount=13)
Mousefolk (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3507477&postcount=14)
Serviceforged (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3468955&postcount=8)
The Kulreich von Lemminstantrophonees Legacy (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3479238&postcount=10)

Vrel
2007-11-21, 10:06 AM
Lord of Rest gets my voite with Dust bunny coming in a close second for sheer awesome.


oh ya.. and a phantom vote for me!

TheLogman
2007-11-21, 10:14 AM
The Kulreich von Lemminstantrophonees Legacy, hard to spell, harder to read, but the concept is amazing, and it gets my vote.

StickMan
2007-11-21, 10:55 AM
Stickman votes for:
Mousefolk

I just love it I want to make a Catfolk so I can have a Tom and Jerry game.

The Vorpal Tribble
2007-11-21, 11:11 AM
I want to make a Catfolk
Catfolk are in Races of the Wild.

Fax Celestis
2007-11-21, 11:16 AM
My vote goes to the Mousefolk.

Bisected8
2007-11-21, 11:46 AM
My vote goes to CabbageTheif's legacy items, and not (well not only) because my entry apparently inspired them. :smallwink:

Blue_C.
2007-11-21, 12:58 PM
My vote is for the Dust Bunny. The cute picture did it for me.

littlechicory
2007-11-21, 02:57 PM
I'm stuck between the Dust Bunny and the Mousefolk. I dunno, they're just... more thematically solid?... more coherent?... than my poor Brownies. >_> But now I can learn from my mistakes and make better homebrews next time.

Kellus
2007-11-21, 08:40 PM
My vote is for the Lord of Rest. Very cool.

Skelengar
2007-11-22, 11:39 AM
As much as I like the legacy, i have taken a vow of gnome racisim, and can not vote for anything gnomish. I hate gnomes.

thus, I vote for the Dust Bunnies with the Lord of Rest in close second. Both will have a place in my campaigns wizards accadamy, Lords of Rest used as breeding grounds for Dust Bunnies.

Adumbration
2007-11-22, 11:41 AM
Mousefolk all the way! (Although the same idea has been used countless times before, *cough*redwall*cough*)

DracoDei
2007-11-22, 03:55 PM
My apologies for not giving more feed back than I did during the run of the contest (although I did send out some). I was very focused on my own entry. I myself crave feedback to I may continue to hone my art to yet higher levels and it helps if it come at a time when I can make use of it on the project in question, rather than after the time has passed.
Reviews (sorry if many of these are on the negative side, but very few of them really fired my imagination and drew me in. Besides which, knowning what you did wrong is usually more important for improving than knowing what you did right):
Ashling
A good basic concept. Nice for scenery mostly (although never underestimate the value of a "Fly on the Wall" to provide information to PCs or their enemies). Speaking of which, you never said if they speak common or only Ignan (I assume they speak Ignan...). The stat block is only about 90% finished on this one. You don't have the touch and flat-footed ACs, nor the attack bonus on the claw attack. Also Weapon Finesse is not specific to a particular weapon in 3.5 version. Hit dice should probably be 1/4d8 since elementals usually get their hit-dice on d8's. There is a possible good reason for doing that but, given the only average quality of the rest of the entry I SUSPECT you weren't thinking this deeply. The only justification I can think of for doing it the way you did was that it makes it slightly harder for a low level cleric with the fire or water domain to be ABSOULUTELY sure of turning every one of a larger group of them (and perhaps some other HD related effects). The same thing could be accomplished by giving them Turn Resistance 3/4, but that might be seen as more of a screwball to throw the DM than altering the HD size (both because I know of no elementals with turn resistance... although it is an idea worth implimenting and because of the fractional nature). Note that there is no difference between the turning check needed to turn a 1/16 HD creature and a 1 HD creature. Turning damage is 2d6 plus level, so even with a group of 8 (the maximum you list occuring) even a first level cleric has a 50% chance of turning all of them (if they get a good enough turning check) and will almost certainly get all but one or two of such a group. I guess if it comes to someone with the Fire domain trying to command an army of them (and with the high AC and the burning hands ability, not to mention the ability for them to serve as deep strikers into enemy territory with their teleportation ability that would not be the worst of ideas) then the hitdice could become important even for a mid-to-high level cleric. Vorpal Tribble has been busy this month I think (he only sent me mechanical correction to my stat block, and nothing more than that), so maybe you got his changes too late for you to find time to included them (we are in the holiday season and I think many people are getting busy schedules). In any case you are also lacking a detailed culture or personality, which, while not required (and indeed might be seen as an needless burden for the DM if they are intended as a simple encounter). But combined with them not being ship-shape mechanically I don't see much reason why I would want to vote for them.

Devouring Domicile
A nice enough concept, but at the same time the drives and behaviors just seem a LITTLE to complex for the intellegence it is assigned. Even if it is a purpose created construct designed to desire to be lived in, it seems it would not react in such a sophisticated manner to its new situation. This become important, because if there were some way of communicating with it and offering to send it home in return for letting you go without a fight, then that would add another possibility to resolving the encounter. Also, being so lost, it SEEMS like it would be as likely to attract unintellent creatures if it was found randomly (if it ever really is, the summoning conditions and the Supplanting Shuffle seem to indicate it wouldn't be, but the initial sighting description and maybe a few other things seem to subtly imply it might be, perhaps after the original summoner escaped it). Which causes it to occur to me: How likely are they to use "Surplanting Shuffle" to escape if someone escapes them and then starts going to town on them with fireballs and lightning bolts?

Domestic Brownie
The plot hook about the dolls house is pretty good. Explaination about the clothing thing is lacking in context. Pulling it from the Harry Potter setting is fine, especially since it isn't a direct translation. But the clothing thing was a sign of servitude in the original setting, and these won't even talk to the occupants of the house except under the most extreme circumstances, much less consider themselves to be commanded by them. Perhaps if you had them willing to communicate with messages scratched on the flagstones in soot or some such. Also the Faerie Fire SLA seems totally out of place except for them to punish or fight against eachother. Deeper insight into their culture would be very useful in giving depth to encounters with them especially if PCs manage to capture one... for one thing would a rescue be attempted? If so would it ONLY be by covert means or would getting one of their own back be cause enough to inspire boldness among them? Are they loyal enough to the homeowners that PCs looking for information while sneaking about an enemy castle/wizards house/whatever would have a hard time getting information out of them or do they dish at the drop of a had and the mean sight of a dagger waved in their general direction while they are restrained?

Dopplepunkt
You don't specify how it would feed on a wand, potion, etc... also the fact that an alchemical item provides the same amount of "food" as a +1 enchantment means it should be looking for those (since they are more common(because they are cheaper and often occurs in multiples)), and quicker to digest. I would have replaced the "Detect Magic" ability with the Scent Feat and given them racial bonuses to detecting alchemical substances that are not sealed up air tight. Note that because they react on contact with air tanglefoot bags and Alchemists fire must always be sealed pretty much airtight although a LITTLE scent might still leak past (as is demonstrated by the fact that drug smugglers efforts to evade drug dogs with multiple layers of tight wrappings are generally not very successful from what I hear. Also the seperation of "Morph" and "Print" into two abilities seems somewhat questionable from a perspective of clarity. Then also there is the fact that the implied complexity of the uses of the disguise skills (such as the ability to form a minature statue by combining having seen a person and having the pattern for stone memorized) does not blend well with the Intellegence of 2 in my mind... mimics (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/mimic.htm) have an intellegence of 10, generally could get away with copying items they have seen before, and can't alter their texture. You give abilities that reward much greated skill to the Dopplepunkt and yet give it only animal intellegence.

Dustbunny
Very cute and matches up with a lot of jokes (I have also seen other interpritations of the concept of intellegent dusty bunnies I think... I know Ursula Vernon (http://www.metalandmagic.com/) had an featured them in her "Irrational Fears" comic in the episode about the monster under the bed). Your take is different though so don't be worried about lack of originality in the SLIGHTEST, because that is NOT what I am saying. I wonder if one is careful to domesticate each and every dustbunny if you could have them reach swarm numbers and still have them following your commands? That could be a scary thought in a certain kawaii way... (Further review to come later maybe.)

Fungal Banshee
I perhaps see the seeds of a good Homebrewer here, but you have much to learn. The justification for the name doesn't quite fit. Banshee Fungus fits better, but "Fungal Banshee" makes it sound like it is the fungus itself doing the shreiking. You have two methods of reproduction and the second makes the first completely unnessary from a biological prespective (except perhaps as a means of killing creatures that might tend to exterminate it, with the reproduction only being secondary). The grammer and formatting/organization of information are also sub-par. While MILES better than nothing your plothook(s) are so vague and simplistic that most DMs could probably come up with that much as a routine matter.

Grey Master (I will review this even though it was withdrawn, simply to provide feedback to further hone homebrewing skills)
(Review to come later...)

Hearth Protector
Excellent concept, homey and touching. Deathless are always interesting when properly excuted... Although I may be biased because I have an idea for a "cuddly" deathless or undead myself that I may finish and post some time... (Mine goes by the name "Lonely Ghost"). The combination of psychological power, and total gentleness is quite touching. I can see a tearful refusal on the part of a poor family to leave, knowing that if the Orc horde (reported 2 days march away) captures the farm that there beloved grandfather might leave them again, this time forever... I can especially see his wife saying "I only have a few years left myself, if he goes, I go, for I won't lose him again. Just leave me hear, you don't need a tired old woman slowing you down... but the rest of you should go. As long as I live and am on this land it is still ours and you can bet my Bill will give those nasty fellows what for, maybe we will make it, maybe we won't but we won't go down without a fight."... or would such an invasion qualiry as a sufficiently "real"/"legal" change of ownership to cause the Hearth Protector to disperse? Could it return if the land was later re-taken and returned to the original owners? How long could the family be refugees before they found a new place to build a house and still expect the Hearth Protector to return?

Lap Dog
Eh, decent encounter, but it feels too much like a bit of a joke on annoying dogs with not much else beyond that. Definitely a change of pace for many campaigns though, but a normal dog with the correct personality could do almost as well in most circumstances. The sonic damage doesn't really do much compared to the ability to blow stealth.

Lord of Rest
I suppose I should refrain on commenting further on my own entry until after the close of voting unless people have specific questions for me?

Mousefolk
(Review to come later...)

Serviceforged
What were you going to add to this? Personally, I can see several things missing... Weapon proficiencies (if any) are the most noticable. Interesting to give the shield proficiencies (and even to have a butler apparently carrying around his shield all the time...). Is his name a reference to the sci-fi story about the malfunctioning robot that ended up trying to starve a family to death when its programming to help them lose weight got a bug in it? Attack and Full attack lines should read Slam -1 Melee (1d6-1). Also it should be listed as an EXAMPLE character probably, rather than the prototypical example because it has a different base ability score before racial adjustments than the usual mix of three 10's and three 11's... and in which case it might have been good to describe the appearence of the individual... speaking of which, are they more prone to wear clothing than the average warforged? Or are they styled to look more "classy" than a warforged so that clothing continue to be superfulous despite their different role? As they stand they can make a nice small detail, but, like most servants, they fade into the background all too well to attract my vote... maybe if you had expanded on the concept of them as Aristocrats? How do they get promoted to such postions and would you ever find one as a duke out rule its own lands, or would they tend to only be court advisors and other roles that have them sticking in close proximity to a higher ranking noble? Note that Aristocrat is a fairly combative class in many ways, (full armor and shield proficiencies, simple and martial weapons, ride skill, and medium BAB progression). Most courtiers that will not be leading their troops into battle (or engaging in honor combats) would actually be better modeled as experts.

The Kulreich von Lemminstantrophonees Legacy
(Review to come later...)

Sorry for cutting this off without getting to everybody, but my brother and his wife just arrived and I need to go visit with them (and my nephew!).

Mr.Bookworm
2007-11-22, 04:13 PM
Ashling
A good basic concept. Nice for scenery mostly (although never underestimate the value of a "Fly on the Wall" to provide information to PCs or their enemies). Speaking of which, you never said if they speak common or only Ignan (I assume they speak Ignan...). The stat block is only about 90% finished on this one. You don't have the touch and flat-footed ACs, nor the attack bonus on the claw attack. Also Weapon Finesse is not specific to a particular weapon in 3.5 version. Hit dice should probably be 1/4d8 since elementals usually get their hit-dice on d8's. There is a possible good reason for doing that but, given the only average quality of the rest of the entry I SUSPECT you weren't thinking this deeply. The only justification I can think of for doing it the way you did was that it makes it slightly harder for a low level cleric with the fire or water domain to be ABSOULUTELY sure of turning every one of a larger group of them (and perhaps some other HD related effects). The same thing could be accomplished by giving them Turn Resistance 3/4, but that might be seen as more of a screwball to throw the DM than altering the HD size (both because I know of no elementals with turn resistance... although it is an idea worth implimenting and because of the fractional nature). Note that there is no difference between the turning check needed to turn a 1/16 HD creature and a 1 HD creature. Turning damage is 2d6 plus level, so even with a group of 8 (the maximum you list occuring) even a first level cleric has a 50% chance of turning all of them (if they get a good enough turning check) and will almost certainly get all but one or two of such a group. I guess if it comes to someone with the Fire domain trying to command an army of them (and with the high AC and the burning hands ability, not to mention the ability for them to serve as deep strikers into enemy territory with their teleportation ability that would not be the worst of ideas) then the hitdice could become important even for a mid-to-high level cleric. Vorpal Tribble has been busy this month I think (he only sent me mechanical correction to my stat block, and nothing more than that), so maybe you got his changes too late for you to find time to included them (we are in the holiday season and I think many people are getting busy schedules). In any case you are also lacking a detailed culture or personality, which, while not required (and indeed might be seen as an needless burden for the DM if they are intended as a simple encounter). But combined with them not being ship-shape mechanically I don't see much reason why I would want to vote for them.

Yeah, I know they were unfinished. That was pretty much my first time actually making an entirely new creature, and I wasn't quite sure on a lot of things. Not to mention that I pretty much did it on a whim.

And yes, VT did send me a list of stuff. I just never got around to implementing them.

And I completely forgot about the languages. They speak Ignan, and their own little jibber-jabbar language. Which would, in a fit of inspired brilliance, probably be called Ashspeak or something.

I take it that I can't revise the Ashlings?

littlechicory
2007-11-22, 04:50 PM
Thanks for the critique, DracoDei.

The Faerie Fire SLA struck me as a lower-power Glitterdust, which is why I included it for the playable Brownie, and then it seemed stupid to give the playable version an SLA the original didn't have-- but I can understand where that kinda grates with the overall concept. Your PM'd suggestions were helpful, too.

DracoDei
2007-11-22, 05:10 PM
I take it that I can't revise the Ashlings?
I would ask VT about that... I made some very minor edits for readability/demonstration of confidence in my work after the deadline, (removing some editing marks), but I THINK that for purposes of the contest the entries are supposed to be functionally static during the voting period. Actually, I asked VT about making the edits I did, but that was probably overly cautious on my part.

In any case I beleive there is NO problem with making edits after the end of the voting period. Another alternative MIGHT be if you were to withdraw your entry(if VT confirms that major edits are not allowed at this point), but I don't know that it is THAT bad...it hasn't received any votes yet, but that is true for most of the entries, and the voting period is only about 2 days old.

If major edits ARE allowed I would like to know as I may be adding even more details to my entry... a more typical (non-adventuring) Lord of Rest example character for example, and maybe some more "comfort features" of the beds...

DracoDei
2007-11-22, 05:14 PM
Thanks for the critique, DracoDei.
<Snip> Your PM'd suggestions were helpful, too.

You are quite welcome.

Skelengar
2007-11-22, 11:45 PM
As for feedback, I thought the Lord of Rest was quite good, like the rest of your creations. My only reccomendation would be to break the bacgrounds up in to sections (reproduction, hobbies) so it isn't as much of a wall of text. Otherwise it was great, and I had a extremely hard time choosing between it and the dust bunnies.

Kyace
2007-11-23, 03:39 AM
Err, J.K. Rowling didn't invent the idea of little people who does chores and strongly disliked payments of clothes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brownie_(mythology)) or such, no more than she invented singing mermaids or werewolves changing at a full moon.

Myself, I will vote for Dust Bunny, she seem an interesting take and the monster that could be inserted into campaigns that they fit the style of with the least work. The mousefolk was a close second because I didn't feel it had a racial identity of its own, instead it borrowed slightly too much (for my liking) from Lilliputians and Brownies.

DracoDei
2007-11-23, 09:56 AM
Err, J.K. Rowling didn't invent the idea of little people who does chores and strongly disliked payments of clothes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brownie_(mythology)) or such, no more than she invented singing mermaids or werewolves changing at a full moon.


Well I hardly thought that the cleaning bit was original to Rowling ("The Elves and the Shoe Maker" and "The Tailor of Glouster(sp)" if nothing else, depending on how you define 'chores') but if I had to guess I would have thought that the clothing thing was her invention. You learn something new every day...

Arakune
2007-11-23, 10:00 AM
Dust bunny are awesome in so many levels!

Also, who did the artwork?

Fax Celestis
2007-11-23, 03:56 PM
I've no idea. I did a search for "Dust Bunny" on Google images and found it on page 4.

DracoDei
2007-11-23, 10:21 PM
I think it could be fan art (or even non-cannonical art by the author) for "Slightly Damned".

Blue_C.
2007-11-25, 03:34 AM
Lap Dog
Eh, decent encounter, but it feels too much like a bit of a joke on annoying dogs with not much else beyond that. Definitely a change of pace for many campaigns though, but a normal dog with the correct personality could do almost as well in most circumstances. The sonic damage doesn't really do much compared to the ability to blow stealth.

Meh, that's a pretty fair assessment. It actually did start as a joke, but then I felt the need to back it up with statistics, and here we are.

A note about the sonic damage though: I had to bump up the CR because of that, as encountering three or four of these things, either one after another or in groups, is going to put an awful dent into the parties healing if they don't have a wand of cure light wounds (and even that's going to feel the pinch if the lap dogs are played well, or the wizard has a cat familiar). Particularly since I just realized I forgot to add a save for half damage.

Bisected8
2007-11-25, 12:24 PM
Dopplepunkt
You don't specify how it would feed on a wand, potion, etc... also the fact that an alchemical item provides the same amount of "food" as a +1 enchantment means it should be looking for those (since they are more common(because they are cheaper and often occurs in multiples)), and quicker to digest. I would have replaced the "Detect Magic" ability with the Scent Feat and given them racial bonuses to detecting alchemical substances that are not sealed up air tight. Note that because they react on contact with air tanglefoot bags and Alchemists fire must always be sealed pretty much airtight although a LITTLE scent might still leak past (as is demonstrated by the fact that drug smugglers efforts to evade drug dogs with multiple layers of tight wrappings are generally not very successful from what I hear.

I'm quite sure I said that alchemical items only grant a weeks worth of sustenance while a +1 enchantment give a year.


Also the seperation of "Morph" and "Print" into two abilities seems somewhat questionable from a perspective of clarity. Then also there is the fact that the implied complexity of the uses of the disguise skills (such as the ability to form a minature statue by combining having seen a person and having the pattern for stone memorized) does not blend well with the Intellegence of 2 in my mind... mimics (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/mimic.htm) have an intellegence of 10, generally could get away with copying items they have seen before, and can't alter their texture. You give abilities that reward much greated skill to the Dopplepunkt and yet give it only animal intellegence.

The idea is that the dopplepunkt is more like a robot in its intelligence, so its behaviour is complex but it doesn't really understand what its doing, if you see what I mean. It is simply taking in what it senses and immediatly reacting, and it has a lot of built in ways of doing so but it doesn't understand them.

Although to be honest a lot of that detail was based around an idea I abandoned (having it as a sort of living ornament which rich households would use as decorations) and an idea I never got round to which would make the dopplepunkt available as a familiar (thus increasing its intelligence and bringing in the possibility that its master could order it to perform more complex actions).

DracoDei
2007-11-25, 01:01 PM
I hope the following makes sense. I am pretty tired. I certainly mean no offense...

I'm quite sure I said that alchemical items only grant a weeks worth of sustenance while a +1 enchantment give a year.

Ah, somehow I missed that. Now that I look again I see it (although it took me running a word search).



The idea is that the dopplepunkt is more like a robot in its intelligence, so its behaviour is complex but it doesn't really understand what its doing, if you see what I mean. It is simply taking in what it senses and immediatly reacting, and it has a lot of built in ways of doing so but it doesn't understand them.
I guess including that in the description would have helped. It is easy to leave out details because they are TOO clear in ones own mind. That MAY have been what happened here.


Although to be honest a lot of that detail was based around an idea I abandoned <Snip> and an idea I never got round to which would make the dopplepunkt available as a familiar (thus increasing its intelligence and bringing in the possibility that its master could order it to perform more complex actions).
Ah, I see how that could cause the problem/make it worse.

Lord Tataraus
2007-11-25, 06:19 PM
Hearth Protector
Excellent concept, homey and touching. Deathless are always interesting when properly excuted... Although I may be biased because I have an idea for a "cuddly" deathless or undead myself that I may finish and post some time... (Mine goes by the name "Lonely Ghost"). The combination of psychological power, and total gentleness is quite touching. I can see a tearful refusal on the part of a poor family to leave, knowing that if the Orc horde (reported 2 days march away) captures the farm that there beloved grandfather might leave them again, this time forever... I can especially see his wife saying "I only have a few years left myself, if he goes, I go, for I won't lose him again. Just leave me hear, you don't need a tired old woman slowing you down... but the rest of you should go. As long as I live and am on this land it is still ours and you can bet my Bill will give those nasty fellows what for, maybe we will make it, maybe we won't but we won't go down without a fight."... or would such an invasion qualiry as a sufficiently "real"/"legal" change of ownership to cause the Hearth Protector to disperse? Could it return if the land was later re-taken and returned to the original owners? How long could the family be refugees before they found a new place to build a house and still expect the Hearth Protector to return?

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it. Legal change of ownership basically limits it to buy/sell the land or inheritance and such. An invasion and occupation is not a legal change of ownership, in that case the Hearth Protector would give the Orcs hell!

Hm....its a hard decision, but I've got to vote Dust Bunnies, its just so perfect!

DracoDei
2007-11-30, 07:30 PM
Wow... the 30th already?
Ok, I guess I vote for the Hearth Protector.

The Vorpal Tribble
2007-12-01, 08:11 AM
And voting has come to a close.

Fax Celestis wins this month's contest with his creation, the Dust Bunny!

In addition, I award the VT Appreciation Award to Blue C. for his Lap Dog. Made me laugh while still being a very usable critter :smallbiggrin:


Congratulations!

Fax Celestis
2007-12-01, 12:05 PM
Hooray! :smallbiggrin:

Lord Tataraus
2007-12-01, 12:07 PM
Congrats Fax! You did good...and I got a vote!!! W00T! That's all I care about :smallbiggrin:

Blue_C.
2007-12-01, 01:21 PM
In addition, I award the VT Appreciation Award to Blue C. for his Lap Dog. Made me laugh while still being a very usable critter :smallbiggrin:

Hooray! :smallbiggrin:

And congrats Fax! A very well deserved win, in my opinion.