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View Full Version : The most powerful artifact in the MULTIVERSE!



Vistar
2007-12-13, 07:19 AM
Inspired entirely while reading another webcomic, and in all honestly it is not very playable.

I present to you:

The Sword of 77% Probability

The sword was forged at the same time the outer planes joined with the already stable fusion of the elemental planes, giving rise to life as we know it and the basis of our morality.

Being such a pure amalgamation of law, chaos, good and evil, the sword's alignment is True Neutral. However, it does not try to achieve this balance.

The sword appears as a longsword, but the steel appears dull when viewed at certain angles, and razor sharp at others.The sword is sentient, however it and all of it's powers are completely dormant and undetectable until it is wielded (I.E. Drawn and held in the character's hands or equivalent) by another sentient creature, at which point it achieves a sort of symbiosis with the creature, boosting all ability statistics by 10 (untyped bonus), with the sword also taking the wielder's newly modified scores.

While active, the sword can communicate telepathically with the wielder and any other creature, though it rarely does so. It also has the following abilities and has a caster level of 20:

At the start of each day, the wielder rolls a d100. If the roll is 77 or lower, the d100 is rolled again. This is continued until a roll greater than 77 is rolled. For every roll in which the result is less than or equal to 77, the sword is considered to have a +1 enchantment bonus for that day.

If a hostile creature is within 500 feet of the wielder, there is a 77% chance of the sword casting Faerie Fire on the creature, and one round later, a 77% chance of casting a protection spell on the wielder against the appropriate alignment, if more than one hostile creature enters this 500 foot radius simultaneously, then the Faerie Fire and protect spell are cast on and with respect to all the creatures. The wielder need not be aware of the creatures, but there is no way for creatures to hide themselves and their alignment from the sword.

If someone attempts to scry the wielder, there is a 77% chance that the wielder will be able to detect the scrying attempt.

If the scry is detected, there is a further 77% chance that the wielder automatically beings scrying on the creature who initiated the scrying without then need of a crystal ball or other focus, the images of the scrying appear in the wielder's mind.

If the wielder successfully scrys his scryer, there is a 77% chance of being automatically teleported to within 5 feet of the scryer, regardless of distance, however the wielder can chose to not teleport (the sword has no choice in the matter)

In combat, if the wielder misses an attack with the sword, there is a 77% chance of the miss turning into a hit.

If a hit deals damage to an opponent, there is a 77% chance of slaying that opponent instantly, with no save. This is not considered a death effect. An opponent so slain that also has a soul has a 77% chance of being brought back to life as if true resurrection was cast on him on the next round. If the soul refuses to be brought back to life, or was not resurrected there is a 77% chance of the soul being completely and utterly destroyed, and cannot be brought back with any mortal or deific magic.

The sword of 77% probability is immune to sunder attempts by non artifact weapons.

All creatures normally immune to mortal magic (Such as deities) can also be effected by the sword's powers, however each time a roll must be made in order to the determine if a power is activated, two rolls are made and both must succeed in order for the creature to be effected.

While it is rare that the sword of 77% probability attempts to establish dominance, being quite content in letting mortals who find it have their fun for a while, especially dangerous mortals, or immortals who refuse to relinquish the sword upon its requested must find to retain dominance. This leads to the most dangerous ability of all: Any creature wielding the sword that loses dominance has a 77% chance of being permanently dominated by the sword, wandering the multitude of planes with no purpose and eventually becoming one with the sword.

Bisected8
2007-12-13, 08:25 AM
Its not the Fork of Truth then?

kentma57
2007-12-13, 09:06 AM
There are more powerful artifacts...

reorith
2007-12-13, 02:09 PM
There are more powerful artifacts...

i second this

knightsaline
2007-12-15, 07:37 PM
Meh. I prefer the World Reset Button.

World Reset Button
A small grey box with a large red button inside lies before you. On observing it for a few seconds, the colours polarize briefly. You hear a high pitched giggling On the box is some untranslatable symbols in calming green

Sometimes, the world has been screwed up so much that Ao decides to drop this in front of someone. No amount of study can translate the symbols. No one knows why the high pitched giggling happens or who makes it. No one knows why the colours polarize every now and then. All they know is that it is definiatly not of this world.

Pressing the button makes the world polarize for one round, resetting the world itself.

World Destruction button
A black box with a red button inside lies before you. You hear explosions, even though the box itself is unharmed. you see some untranslatable symbols on the box, inscribed in bright red.

Sometimes, a world has fallen so far into evil that no amount of good can save it. When the world Reset Button has failed to work, Ao uses this in the direst circumstances and even He hesitates to use it.

When the button is pressed, the world itself is destroyed, no save.
See: Bolt, Blue , Rocks fall

Xefas
2007-12-15, 07:53 PM
World Destruction button
A black box with a red button inside lies before you. You hear explosions, even though the box itself is unharmed. you see some untranslatable symbols on the box, inscribed in bright red.

Sometimes, a world has fallen so far into evil that no amount of good can save it. When the world Reset Button has failed to work, Ao uses this in the direst circumstances and even He hesitates to use it.

When the button is pressed, the world itself is destroyed, no save.
See: Bolt, Blue , Rocks fall

Why would Ao care about evil? He doesn't have an alignment...or is at the very least True Neutral.

Anyway, the most powerful artifact in the Multiverse is the:

Orb of Peerless Power
This flawless white orb is about the size of a grown man's fist. Its outside is transparent, revealing faintly swirling mists inside of various colors and shades.

Once per day, as a standard action, the owner of the Orb of Peerless Power can activate it. Once activated, it becomes the most powerful artifact in the multiverse for 24 hours.

Reinboom
2007-12-15, 08:04 PM
The Rod of Rule Negative One
A finely crafted rod of multihued gemstones. This rod gleams with brilliant color, and being even close to the rod makes one feel the power flowing from it, attracting all creatures of all races alike.
Wielding the rod is enough to realize its potential and abilities immediately, as the rod inserts a new rule into the game, rule negative one. This rule stats that the player wielding the rod has the ability to decide all rules freely, but even surpassing rule 0 itself, effectively making the wielder the new gamemaster.
Once, however, this title is officially donned, the new gamemaster loses possession of the rod immediately and is only subject to rule 0 again (but has complete control over the campaign, as the gm would) and the rod is randomly placed in a position only high level PCs may reach in the GM's campaign.

knightsaline
2007-12-15, 08:10 PM
I know that Ao is considered TN, but that can mean one of two things. Either he favors neither side or he favors both sides and keeps the balance, making sure that one side does not get too powerful. The World Destruction Button is basically a way for the DM to feasibly pull a "rocks fall, everyone dies" and blame it on the players.

Arakune
2007-12-15, 09:32 PM
The key of End

Once used this key locks existence in a complete void forever. Gods, elder evils, entire planes of existence cease to exist as we know. No amount of power can unlock the existence except the key maker. Some deities have a theory that the key maker are the creator of all gods, the true god in the concept of undisputed power.

Arbitrarity
2007-12-15, 09:40 PM
The Tools

The Tools were created by a group of wizard/scientists. They are designed, in essence, to change creatures. The wielder of The Tools gains the Manipulate Form ability of the Sarrukh, with the exception that it may be used on any creature.

Arakune
2007-12-15, 10:03 PM
The Tools

The Tools were created by a group of wizard/scientists. They are designed, in essence, to change creatures. The wielder of The Tools gains the Manipulate Form ability of the Sarrukh, with the exception that it may be used on any creature.

Now you are just being silly :smallamused:

Arbitrarity
2007-12-15, 10:07 PM
Hey, I'm fairly certain it can't be beat, what with the defining abilities and all.

Lyooblyoo
2007-12-17, 04:42 PM
The Equation

A scroll containing the equation: /0

Once read, whether aloud or silently, a time paradox is created which cannot be undone.

Mewtarthio
2007-12-17, 06:46 PM
The Infinite Sword of Infinite Power

This sword is infinitely powerful. Once swung, it generates such great energy that the entire multiverse is sliced cleanly in twain, each piece spinning away from the other at infinite speed, so the two will never again be reuinited. Unfortunately, planar geometries are quite difficult to work out in practice, so the weilder of the Infinite Sword of Infinite Power must make a DC 50 Knowledge (planes) check in order to make the cut as he or she wishes. On a failure, the cut is determined randomly, as follows:

Take out a diagram of the multiverse a draw a dot wherever the player is. Then, roll 1d% four times, with each roll representing a single component of the vector along which the cut will be made. Then, roll a d2 for each component to determine if it is positive (1) or negative (2). Repeat this process to get a tangent vector to the plane and another tangent vector to the 3D space that has been severed. Advanced mathematicians can be purchased from WotC as desired.

------

There you have it: A sword that ends the game!

WrstDmEvr
2007-12-17, 07:45 PM
The Balancer

This kama is like a regular one when held by any person other than a monk. Upon a monk holding it, it becomes a +5 Flaming Burst kama with the ability to instantly kill any creature it hits if they succeed at a fort save(DC 4.4*10^78).

-------
Now the monks are only slightly below wizards in power supremacy :smallbiggrin:

Generic_PC
2007-12-17, 07:52 PM
The Amulet of Pun Pun

This small amulet has a smiling kobold face on it. It was created at the beginning of time by a mistake of the gods. They sought to lock it away for eternity because they knew that any creature that put it on would be able to destroy even the elder gods instantly.
Any creature within 500 feet of The Amulet of Pun Pun can feel strong magic of all schools radiating from it.
Any creature withing 500 feet of it must make a DC 50 will save or feel an irresistible urge to find The Amulet and put it on.
When donned by a sentient creature that creature is instantly transformed into Pun Pun. It instantly knows its abilities and how to use them. :eek:


Edited for more fluff

osyluth
2007-12-17, 08:19 PM
You all get the "Thread derailer in the playground" award.

Magnor Criol
2007-12-18, 12:19 AM
I dunno. What were they supposed to do? Comment on an artifact which is clearly overpowered and was explicitly stated by the OP to be unplayable? There's not much to say there. I think posting similarly brokenly powerful items is very much in the spirit of the thread.

Brom
2007-12-18, 12:59 AM
Rod of Casting'

This rod is a smooth quarterstaff. The staff changes the casters Wisdom and Intelligence to 50. The staff itself is intelligent with a Neutral alignment and an ego score of 40.
The rod grants it's wielder the ability to apply metamagic to all his spells on the spot. He can now cast all spells in all the books at will as a free action 1/turn, and can cast any other spell as a move action. Multiple metamagics can be applied to innumerous cast spells.

LOL

TheGrimace
2007-12-18, 01:18 AM
The Thread of Derailing

The Bane of engineers everywhere, this thread (and the accompanying needle) enables it's possessor to derail any gnome contraption resembling a train, regardless of what the item may be named in this world. By knitting a sweater, and speaking the command word, the wielder can use Wish 1/round as a free action, as long as he keeps wishing for an ill fate to fall upon a train.

The Needle of Derailing

This needle grants a +2 bonus on all craft (sweater) checks.

atriusnight
2007-12-18, 01:25 AM
Rod of Casting'

This rod is a smooth quarterstaff. The staff changes the casters Wisdom and Intelligence to 50. The staff itself is intelligent with a Neutral alignment and an ego score of 40.
The rod grants it's wielder the ability to apply metamagic to all his spells on the spot. He can now cast all spells in all the books at will as a free action 1/turn, and can cast any other spell as a move action. Multiple metamagics can be applied to innumerous cast spells.

LOL

Heh, that one is more broken than first appears as he may cast ALL SPELLS 1/turn "Eat Magic Missle, Finger of Death, Meteor Storm, Heal, Harm, Unicorn Horn, Shield, TrueStrike, Etc. Etc." Could get confusing....It's a pity he doesn't have the option to cast them one at a time.......:smalltongue:

JackMage666
2007-12-18, 01:36 AM
Helm of Winning

When a character wears the Helm of Winning firmly on his head, he wins D&D. He also gets the Medal of the Winner, though this is purely ornamental and does nothing.

Maldraugedhen
2007-12-18, 02:16 AM
The Gears of Negative I:
These gears are objects of chaos, created as parodies of the great Gears of Machinus. Roughly 3 inches in diameter, when pushed, rather than beginning to turn in the same direction as the force applied, they build momentum in the opposite direction. This ensures that, assuming the force is not instantaneous, a feedback loop is created, creating as much energy as the wheels can absorb before failing structurally. When they do finally snap (an occurrence which, due to the nature of the feedback loop, actually happens instantly), all of the particles of the wheels follow the same strange behavior, and so any objects they come in contact with are quickly shredded into nothing. The gears as a set are in a simple framed wooden box, and are made out of nighunbreakabilium, a unique element that possesses a purely theoretical hardness. Apart from the initial shattering, the Gears of Negative I cannot be further broken, nor can they be slowed in any way once their world-destroying motion is set.

The Curse of Negative I is a curse that may be placed on any object by the Gears of Negative I. To do so, the object or entity need only come into physical contact with the face of one of the gears. This inverts their moment of inertia, an effective (and bloody) means of killing or destroying anything instantly, although the resulting chaos virtually ensures that a rotational force will act on the gears, bringing about the end of the world.

The MacGuffin's MacGuffin:
Upon the creation of the MacGuffin's MacGuffin, everything anyone has ever wanted gained sentience simultaneously, and instantly desired one thing--this object. Whoever possesses this object possesses the object of the highest value in the multiverse. Gods will trade their power just to hold this object, although it has no inherent worth.

Mewtarthio
2007-12-18, 12:08 PM
The Veil Between the Worlds

This is a fiercly guarded veild that should never be pierced. If any creature deals at least 20 peircing damage to the veil in a single hit, a portal is opened to modern Earth. Anyone stepping through this portal arrives directly adjacent to the actual gaming table used to play this session of Dungeons & Dragons. If played via the Internet, the creatures instead appear adjacent to the server hosting the particular medium. Note that, once 4e comes out, WotC employees will be prepared to abduct such travellers instantly.

Now if I could only get this to work...

Bisected8
2007-12-18, 02:30 PM
The Cardboard Box

You have a cardboard box, rejoice! Place it over any creature's head with a successful DC 10 dex check (+1 for every foot you are awau from the target if you are throwing it) to cause blindness.

Anyone who sits in the box may use it as a bed, alternativly they may pretend its a vehicle of some sort.

Heliomance
2007-12-18, 03:08 PM
The Cardboard Box

You have a cardboard box, rejoice! Place it over any creature's head with a successful DC 10 dex check (+1 for every foot you are awau from the target if you are throwing it) to cause blindness.

Anyone who sits in the box may use it as a bed, alternativly they may pretend its a vehicle of some sort.

Also, if crouched under, the box provides a +20 to hide checks versus guards, and allows use of Hide in Plain Sight.

ShadowyFigure
2007-12-18, 03:44 PM
Also, if crouched under, the box provides a +20 to hide checks versus guards, and allows use of Hide in Plain Sight.

This should be changed to.

ALlows use of Hide In Plain Sight Against guard with intelligence 8 and below.

Arakune
2007-12-18, 03:47 PM
This should be changed to.

ALlows use of Hide In Plain Sight Against guard with intelligence 8 and below.

Since all guards have Int 8-, why not just grant then invisibility against anyone in guard duty?

boomwolf
2007-12-18, 04:14 PM
Orbs of Creations

Holding all 5 orbs of creation (mind, time, elements, life, fusion) you gain the power to create or erase any object (or a living creature) as a free action.
To create an object (or a living creature) the user must be able to imagine it, if anything else is in the creation area it is moved away into the orbs.
To erase an object you need to know its there, the target object (or living creature) disappears into the orbs.
You may move things from the orbs back outside as a free action, they are considered to be plane shifted into their new location.

osyluth
2007-12-19, 03:13 PM
Since all guards have Int 8-, why not just grant then invisibility against anyone in guard duty?

Yeah, I know. I mean seriously, who would sign up for a job were getting killed by random adventurers is part of the job dscription?

Uncle Festy
2007-12-19, 07:29 PM
The Scroll of Pi
The scroll of Pi is a simple scroll. It has no magical or supernatural or unusual qualities of any kind. However, written on it is the last digit of Pi. Since this number doesn't exist, the multiverse instantly implodes when it is read.

...What? :smalltongue: