View Full Version : Things not to do when you're Evil

2007-12-29, 10:56 AM
1. You will not hug trees--even if you're a druid.
2. You will not cry at weddings.
3. You will not suddenly convert to good when the Paladin is about to use Smite Evil on you.
3a. Though you may pretend to have converted.
3b. But you're still Evil!
4. When your undead minions bring the basket of kittens to your sacrificial alter, you will not say, "Awww! They're so cute!"
4a. You may not name the kittens you are about to sacrifice, especially if you won't be able to go through with it.
4b. You may not sacrifice the kittens once you've named them, it makes the DM feel guilty for letting you join the game.
5. You will not use being Evil as an excuse to wreck the campaign railing the DM carefully laid out.

Those good/evil/funny?

Emperor Demonking
2007-12-29, 10:59 AM
6. You may not go near the evil overlords guide.
7. You may not burn dow the inn if your in FR.

2007-12-29, 11:06 AM
1. You will not hug trees--even if you're a druid.

Someone should tell Poison Ivy

2007-12-29, 12:12 PM
8. The big red button in the control room should be labled self-destruct and start a self-destruct timer that when it reaches zero does not in fact do anything.
9. do not have an actual self-desturct button

2007-12-29, 12:12 PM
I dunno. A lot of those don't apply to all evil people. And I'm pretty sure sacrificing kittens is beyond even Vile.

But as a humor thread, 7/10.

2007-12-29, 12:47 PM
contrary to number 6, you will read the evil overlord list and just not tell you DM

2007-12-29, 01:10 PM
10. Admit that there is such a concept as evil.
11. If you are evil. Read Point ten, and never ever, admit you are evil. Say that you acting upon 'words uttered by heavenly beings'.
12. Hug anything. Period.
13. Wear anything but leather bikini and wield anything but cat-o-nine tails.
14. leave any creature without skinning them, especially kittens.
15. not kill, destroy or desecrate less then 3 times before bed time.

2007-12-29, 01:29 PM
16) Be caught by a party of do-gooders just as you step out of the shower.
17) Wear fuzzy bunny slippers.
18) Lose your train of thought during your villainous monologue.
19) Leave your grocery list laying around where PCs are likely to find it and assume the items on the list are the components you need to create your lich phylactery.
20) Allow the do-gooders to ever find out that your real name is Eugene Dribbleschnoz.

2007-12-29, 01:32 PM
21. If the PCs DO find out about anything embarrassing about you (like your name, see point 20), and they start making fun of you, don't say anything like "Do not mock me!". Instead, you are above such humor, and you blast them all with a fireball while they're standing close to each other.

2007-12-29, 01:40 PM
(22: Fail to follow the Evil Overlord List (http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html)