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View Full Version : Is he creepy enough? A horror villian



EvilElitest
2007-12-31, 12:43 AM
Lord James Avon IV- James Avon came from an ancient human blood line, one that had long faded in true power, though its title was of immense importance. In an attempt to renew the family power, his grandfather (James the Third) married him off to an Elvish princess. James was a good husband at first, but everyone knew he was the less dominate one in the relationship, as his few hundred year older wife (who also controlled the money and managed the family estate) often left him to take care of his daughter and new born son.

Even pior to his marriage, his old and selfish grandfather managed most of his life after his father died of fever (his mother committing suicide soon after). When his grandfather finally expired, he took to drinking briefly, until his wife forced him rather brutally out of the habit. Taking a family vacation, he explored his vast but unkempt family manner when he found evidence that his grandfather was once a warlock and though he stopped consorting with demons a while ago he still practiced the dark arts.

Determined to finally be good at something, Avon studied more and more of not only his grandfathers dark arts but also his ancient family history, which was in fact full of warlocks, necromancers, blackguards and other evil casters. Soon his “family research” consumed most of his time. His wife however, applauded his new “hobby” not knowing the true nature of it, hoping her normally lackluster husband would have something else to do rather than take care of the kids, and secretly hoped he would become a scholar. His young daughter (10 years old) became his assistant, often not knowing the details of the rituals she helped her father with while taking care of her younger brother (5 years old).

After a while, Avon forged a powerful golem out of the dark rock that his manner was forged out of, however it wouldn’t animate to his feeble magics. It was then, that Prince Xanatos (see latter article to learn more about Endrakeon and their vile Prince/Ambassador) advisor to the evil lord Stragon (my games main villain who is played by another player) learned of this minor caster and being familiar with the family decided to help him out. He came forth in all of his power and glory, thinking that a man such as Avon with a weak personality and minor casting powers would be nothing compared to his might. However, it turned out than any infernal creature that entered the study would be bound and exposed to the mercy of Avon (though not forced to serve).


Thinking quickly, the Prince asked once if Avon would sacrifice his children for power and without any hesitation Avon accepted. The Prince was deeply disturbed (exact quote “Ok, I’m a lord of a species of devil like being who find torture to be a normal pastime and I eat children on a regular basis but you have just freaked me out creep.”) however he informed Avon of a manner of gaining great power. He has his daughter unknowingly perform a ritual that bound the soul of his youngest son to his golem. As his daughter asked him what happened and begged for her mother, he strangled her. The Prince then put her head on the end of a large stick forming an infernal mace, that looks like it has a child’s head until the weapon strikes where it turns into the Prince’s snarling face.

Avon then destroyed his wife’s estate killing all of there servants and her family, however she escaped when he tried to kill here, underestimating her fighting skills she got away only after she, well, did some things with a knife no male should ever experience if you know what I mean. His wife (name I haven’t thought up of yet) has vowed vengeance and hoped to brutally kill him.
Currently James Avon lives in his deserted estate, learning more Warlock spell under the tutelage of the bound spirit of his grandfather (Xanatos finds him to creepy to hang out with). He is constantly protected by a golem who speaks in a child’s voice and wields his daughter’s head/mace which still utters its last cries of “What are you doing daddy, I want mommy”. He is quite insane and unpredictable, breaking in laughter or throwing temper tantrums.
Level 15 warlock fiendish human.


What do you think? Scary enough? I haven't thought of crunch as of yet


edit- ok, maybe hte aproach i was going for was more "intenstly creepy" than activlly scary, because i use smart villians for that
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Wolfprint
2007-12-31, 03:04 AM
One word: Paragraphing.

Other than that though, it looks pretty scary. Consorting with demons, sacrificing your children and killing your wife is always a good way to get into the annals of horrible evilness.

Some nitpicks though: Why would a human male marry a long-lived elven female in a loveless situation?

ZeroNumerous
2007-12-31, 03:28 AM
Evil? In a general sense of the term, yes.

Scary? Hardly. He's washed-out predictable evil.

Xuincherguixe
2007-12-31, 04:44 AM
Not too bad. The mace is really the scariest thing. But it needs more I think.

I don't think it'd be enough to shake a Devil.


Off the top of my head. He could have various arcane circles and symbols about. A few of them would be sinister in purpose, such as keeping the essence of one of his slain victims bound. But mostly they would be utilitarian in purpose. Redirecting power, wards to keep from being detected, standard magical stuff. At first glance they might not seem particularly special, but the people looking at them get a sense of something is a little off.

As time goes, this sense becomes more unnerving. Eventually they might start seeing an illusionary affect, and the runes seem to have a "glow" sort of affect where they appear "sharp". Eventually, they'll start to see actual blades.

Then suddenly the blades shoot out too fast to follow, stopping just in time to avoid piercing the characters. They'll notice that they are in position to hit several vital organs. Despite the fact that they stopped though? They still have some minor cuts and scratches. They then disappear.

Every so often, the players will find that there are blades following them. Or attached to the symbols. Repeat the shoot out a few times.

Sometimes, the blades will follow the characters. They might materialize slowly. Most of the time they won't get in their way. Sometimes they might, and the group must move forward despite the thing in their way. It won't actually stab them.

The blades never do any significant damage. You could have an encounter where they have to slay them, but it works better if they didn't. Take off a small number of hitpoints maybe to let them know the things are real. Nothing they do will get rid of them. They are invincible. But again, they won't actually cause significant harm to the players unless they go out of their way to be harmed by them. If they want to injure themselves, they will.


Feel free to throw lots of disturbing illusions and hallucinations. Which may or may not be shared. They might be looking at a painting, and suddenly the figure in it leaps out and jams a knife in the characters eye, and it feels very much like there is a knife in his eye. When the other characters touch the guy or get his attention in some way, it's like it was never there. And the character suddenly is no longer in pain.

Things bleeding that really shouldn't be bleeding are always good too. Walls, picture frames, armored statues. Go nuts! Have fun.


I don't really know how to make people themselves scarier. I can manage creepy and unsettling, but I can't pull off terrifying.

Demented
2007-12-31, 06:58 AM
What do you think? Scary enough? I haven't thought of crunch as of yet
from,
EEMace aside,
Unless you're capable of delivering explicit descriptions of how Avon (any relation to the shopping cartel?) strangled his daughter to death and murdered his extended family, in a manner brief enough not to result in drooling players, no, he's not scary enough.

1. He's bound to recieve some mockery for being a (literally) castrated villain.
2. The mace is freaky. Scary, maybe a little. Unless you see it a second time. (That cry for mommy will get old fast.)
3. The golem is a recipe for funny.
4. Avon has tantrums? Are you serious? Does he stomp his feet, too?
5. So the prince is creeped out, but grandfather doesn't mind? I think gramps is the scary one.

MagFlare
2007-12-31, 07:17 AM
Maybe the finished product is scary, but when we have the full story - well, he comes across as a henpecked, untalented individual who simply got a little overenthusiastic about the (eeevil) family business. And then he got castrated by his fleeing wife.

I still think you can pull it off (heh heh... oh, that poor man), but make some efforts to conceal his history. The scariest villains are the ones with a strong personality, the ones who actively reach out and choose evil. This guy? He just sort of fell into the job.

Bisected8
2007-12-31, 07:29 AM
If the players have access to regeration spells, perhaps you could have him cut off a character's arm (or something that'll make them go :smalleek:) and eat it in the middle of the battle. That'll creep them out and give you the opportunity to bring him back as a ghoul later on.

You should also have his grandfather's ghost play a bigger role.

EvilElitest
2007-12-31, 10:21 AM
alright, useful coments

1. the illusion bit is great i'll work that in
2. For the record, the wife is a PC and did escape so the party knows his history (but they are coming to his manner and i just realized that I haven't finished playing this out yet
3. The Grandfather is a bastard, he is totally cool with his son being evil but is still likely to help the PCs out, simply because he feels his son is a loser
4. It was an arrenged marriage, no love involved:smallwink:
5. Maybe to make him a bit more activlly evil, a dude who hopes to destroy elven kind via a plauge or some such nasty activity, dicested elf bodies can be found throught the manner, many of which have been eaten by his mace
6. Should the mace have its own personality?
7. Maybe a more sadistic personality, less violent and insane and more activlly intent upon the suffering of others
8. No love for the younger kid?
9. Maybe he is still preforming nasty magics (cutting off limbs and eating them sort of thing) because he wants his grandfather's praise ect

10. Did i mention that the party knew him pior to his turning in a sick bastard? His wife is a PC, and his wife's manner acted as their head quarted so they already knew him and his kids pior to the whole him being a sick bastard sort of thing, and in fact often talked to his kids in an attempt to roleplay. They have just found out what happened (don't know about hte mace however) and are going with the wife to investigate. In fact the parties mage taught Avon how to read the arcane writings, not knowing that he was a bastard
11. I think the effect i'm going for is creepy and i'm trying to make hte PCs hate him in a sick sort of way
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Mewtarthio
2007-12-31, 12:34 PM
10. Did i mention that the party knew him pior to his turning in a sick bastard? His wife is a PC, and his wife's manner acted as their head quarted so they already knew him and his kids pior to the whole him being a sick bastard sort of thing, and in fact often talked to his kids in an attempt to roleplay. They have just found out what happened (don't know about hte mace however) and are going with the wife to investigate. In fact the parties mage taught Avon how to read the arcane writings, not knowing that he was a bastard

So the PCs personally know him and "those cute little children"? That changes a lot of things.

EvilElitest
2007-12-31, 01:26 PM
So the PCs personally know him and "those cute little children"? That changes a lot of things.

yeah, that was a pretty important detail sorry

Basically one of the PCs (Mage) was married as part of her back story and they used her mansion as their base of operations you see. now over the course of the adventure, she tended to ignore her husband and children, while the other PCs often payed attention to them out of role playing interest. So what the mage took for granted is destroyed and the other PCs feel like they should have seen that coming (they knew about the wife's treatment of her husband, their husband's personality and his new found interesting in his sinister family history. All of the PCs have known the children for about a year and the Beguiler (Roger) shares a name with the son (the gollum) who he would often call "Little Roger"
Only now have they found out what happened and are coming to kill him, so i have almost two weeks to make the scene as scary as possible
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EE

EvilElitest
2007-12-31, 05:40 PM
Part Bump and part story

Just to elaborate on the party's relationship with Avon. The wife (Sarah) is a mage who has been married to Avon from the start of the champion. They have used her mansion as a base of operations, and as such the rest of the party (except for Sarah, who just regards him as an NPC) hung out a lot with Avon and his kids. Over the course of the champion he started to first develop and interest in history (often researching any of the parties historical items and lending them records, then magic (asking them to bring back scrolls, wands, spell books ect) for research, and then his daughter started devolping interest in magics as well. the party would often bring stuff back to him, and the wizard and priest sometimes spent time instructing the daughter in basic magic, and the wizard taught Avon how to read scrolls. I had my own little sister play the daughter when she was alive, i could have her do the voice for the evil mace.
Any suggestions, more scary now, any cirques? I want options please, most of my homebrew threads always get negleted:smallfrown:
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Arioch
2007-12-31, 06:18 PM
Argh! Can you go back and paragraph that first bit, please. It causes me pain. :smallfrown:

EvilElitest
2007-12-31, 06:22 PM
Argh! Can you go back and paragraph that first bit, please. It causes me pain. :smallfrown:

under the condition that you read everything and give me a crique then ok
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EE

EvilElitest
2008-01-01, 10:01 PM
Bump, anyone have any suggestions, i've running out of time
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Raroy
2008-01-01, 10:50 PM
It seems underdone. Perhapes making him into a creepy villain wasn't good enough. Well, you could try to play it as how much of a monster he has really become but he still doesn't seem like a threat. You need tunnels lined up with rotten blood and guts. Nice loving whispers from the walls.(Such as compliments and warm greetings.) There needs to be hanging bodies of woman that have their skin cut up and is portrayed in an erotic way.

You need pizzaz.

EvilElitest
2008-01-01, 10:55 PM
It seems underdone. Perhapes making him into a creepy villain wasn't good enough. Well, you could try to play it as how much of a monster he has really become but he still doesn't seem like a threat. You need tunnels lined up with rotten blood and guts. Nice loving whispers from the walls.(Such as compliments and warm greetings.) There needs to be hanging bodies of woman that have their skin cut up and is portrayed in an erotic way.

.......... you know a lot about this don't you?


My current idea is that children's screams are heard all throughout the manner, blaming the PCs for their suffering but your ideas have merit
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Raroy
2008-01-01, 11:00 PM
Children eh? You need paintings of them with the eyes moving. They will also hear "We are watching you" in a messed up kids voice. Sets of small child like bones crafted together to make things (Such as small houses and boats. Such things a kid would make). If its only the two kids that haunt this place, then you shouldn't add too much.

Wolfprint
2008-01-01, 11:16 PM
Getting the PCs emotionally involved always seems to be a good bet.

I think he's scary, in a subtle and disturbing kind of way. I find that the worst villains are often normal, nondescript people who show no remorse at performing acts of otherwise-great evil, or even come to accept such acts as the norm and not challenging it (e.g. The Wicker Man town, Cthulhu countryfolk etc).

James Avon need not be portrayed as murderously insane. Your setting - the house, the atmosphere, and the minions the PCs encounter - are enough for that. A powerful, utterly amoral and irredeemable wizard consorting with demons is enough to be scary if played correctly.

EvilElitest
2008-01-01, 11:19 PM
Getting the PCs emotionally involved always seems to be a good bet.

I think he's scary, in a subtle and disturbing kind of way. I find that the worst villains are often normal, nondescript people who show no remorse at performing acts of otherwise-great evil, or even come to accept such acts as the norm and not challenging it (e.g. The Wicker Man town, Cthulhu countryfolk etc).

James Avon need not be portrayed as murderously insane. Your setting - the house, the atmosphere, and the minions the PCs encounter - are enough for that. A powerful, utterly amoral and irredeemable wizard consorting with demons is enough to be scary if played correctly.
Ug, wicker man was an terrible movie.
So what do you like about him, what do you dislike, how would you play him, what would you change, suggestions ect


Raroy, you have some really creepy idea you know that. Useful though
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Raroy
2008-01-01, 11:28 PM
Yeah but my ideas are more Call of Conthullu(sp?) style. Salvage whatever you can.

commander43
2008-01-02, 12:26 AM
Well the mace and the child-golem are really the scariest parts. The golem could be really scary if it acted just like a child obeying his father would, but in this case the child is a murderous nigh-unstoppable magical killing machine.

DoomsdayBadger
2008-01-02, 01:28 AM
Being a fan of the disturbing villain types...

You should have the party encountering him during a meal, weave the story so it seems like a normal dinner until they realize he's eating human (elf?) flesh. or something of that kind of gist.

The mace with the girl's head seems a bit much, perhaps it's topped with her skull rather than her head itself? Besides, I think it it begged for mommy to make the pain stop, or something in that kind of direction, it would be pretty twisted.

I guess it comes down to personal taste, there's a fine line between scary and disgusting, and it's up to you as to where you draw that line.

I do really like the idea of him being an established NPC though and a character whom the party's fate is intertwined with.

But I think the main thing is that what he thinks he's doing is right. The fact that he's a friend of the party, and that he doesn't regret the acts he committed make him quite the monster.

Icewalker
2008-01-02, 01:52 AM
More evil than scary. The guy himself seems a little too pathetic in personality to be scary...(you probably don't want him to be too straight powerful either though).

The 5-year old son's soul bound into the golem of dark stone wielding his sister's crying head as a mace is pretty freaky, but I think it wouldn't work well as a repeated thing.

philippos
2008-01-02, 04:30 AM
you could always have him react with shock to the PCs since they have known him and his family. "I thought we were friends, why are you trying to stop me?" He might genuinely feel conflicted about his intentions to them and confused about theirs to him. Also the youngest son can talk to them while trying to bash them with his sister, making destroying him another conflict. That is all I have off the top of my head.

EvilElitest
2008-01-02, 05:23 PM
you could always have him react with shock to the PCs since they have known him and his family. "I thought we were friends, why are you trying to stop me?" He might genuinely feel conflicted about his intentions to them and confused about theirs to him. Also the youngest son can talk to them while trying to bash them with his sister, making destroying him another conflict. That is all I have off the top of my head.

That seems just want i needed, alright thanks all, keep up the suggestions, i think i'm almost ready
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EvilElitest
2008-01-02, 05:27 PM
you could always have him react with shock to the PCs since they have known him and his family. "I thought we were friends, why are you trying to stop me?" He might genuinely feel conflicted about his intentions to them and confused about theirs to him. Also the youngest son can talk to them while trying to bash them with his sister, making destroying him another conflict. That is all I have off the top of my head.

That seems just want i needed, alright thanks all, keep up the suggestions
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Thinker
2008-01-02, 05:45 PM
It seems pretty weak. Not scary or original. In this case I would advocate more gore and perhaps shock value.

EvilElitest
2008-01-02, 06:08 PM
It seems pretty weak. Not scary or original. In this case I would advocate more gore and perhaps shock value.

details please, what seems unoriginal?
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F.L.
2008-01-03, 01:05 AM
Simulacrum children. Soulless copies of his children, in differing stages of construction, kept in various numbers in various rooms. Not a real threat, but there to creep the players out. If possible, have them overrun/grapple the players and then light on fire in the middle of combat, for fun, before they melt away into puddles of thin blood. Also, be sure to include the ambient touches in the rooms these copies are in, like tables covered in unused parts, tools, etc.

Maybe copies of his wife too. Or some other people or corpses mutilated to look like her, in various stages of animation. Make sure that any wife-alikes have their mouths properly sewn up, no backtalking! Shut up shut up shut up shut up! And perhaps a new, perfected body under construction for himself, an amalgam of parts, asymettrical and subtly wrong.

Wolfprint
2008-01-03, 09:06 AM
The original Wicker Man. Not the Nicholas Cage-in-a-bear-suit-beating-up-women Wicker Man.

1) The ghosts of his children haunting the mansion. You don't see them, but you can hear their whispers, or see faint images of them in the distance that disappear as you approach.

2) Use the little girl mace and the golem sparingly. Any more and they become stock characters to kill and chop up from the Monster Manual.

3) Make the PCs learn that destroying the mace or the golem will damn the daughter's soul. Make them also learn that the source of Avon's powers (and his connection to the Demon Prince) is through the mace.

4) I wouldn't play Avon as a snarling, frothing madman. Not even the periodic laughter bouts part. Give him a subtle personal defect (e.g. tics, or an unsightly twitch), something that unsettles the PCs in a manner they can't quite describe. Mad laughter is just a sign that he needs to be killed off.

5) I actually think his weak personality is a good thing to capitalise on. He could have been pushed over the brink by his wife's nagging (husbands beware!), or by the sly comments of his servants. Or he could simply have committed the hubris of believing that he could have the power and strength to resist the allure of the Prince's offers.

Xuincherguixe
2008-01-03, 09:30 AM
On a similar note. Every so often he could shout. Things like, "Damn it woman would you please shut up?"
"Look. I'm doing the best I can alright?! Why are all of you always on my back? I'm working as hard as I can and it's not going to go any faster."
"What? No. That can't be right." and then he starts crying."
"No. You kill YOURSELF."

If he encounters the players, "Why is it no matter what I do I can never be rid of you? RAAAAAAUUGH" and charge. When he hits he might curse his dreadful aim. When he misses he might exclaim, "Ha! Take that my tormentors!"

If they try to negotiate, he might say, "You always try this. And you always betray me. Why can't you accept that I am no longer capable of falling for your lies?"


This may be more funny than scary though.

EvilElitest
2008-01-03, 03:32 PM
Simulacrum children. Soulless copies of his children, in differing stages of construction, kept in various numbers in various rooms. Not a real threat, but there to creep the players out. If possible, have them overrun/grapple the players and then light on fire in the middle of combat, for fun, before they melt away into puddles of thin blood. Also, be sure to include the ambient touches in the rooms these copies are in, like tables covered in unused parts, tools, etc.

Maybe copies of his wife too. Or some other people or corpses mutilated to look like her, in various stages of animation. Make sure that any wife-alikes have their mouths properly sewn up, no backtalking! Shut up shut up shut up shut up! And perhaps a new, perfected body under construction for himself, an amalgam of parts, asymettrical and subtly wrong.

OK, while many other people's suggestions i've been using to make the mansion scary, this one F***ing scared me. I see a win
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F.L.
2008-01-04, 01:31 PM
Thank you. We un-live to serve.

haggis theif
2008-01-04, 08:31 PM
the guy seems kinda prtty evil, id give him some beer to take care of handling him

EvilElitest
2008-01-04, 11:17 PM
Thank you. We un-live to serve.

Out undead hoard will destroy the world with mentally insane villians
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