AMEN XXI: All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing

[Lord Magtok]

Welcome to AMEN


http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u130/Castaras/AMENbanner.png



The AMEN Wiki (http://amen.wikidot.com/start)
The AMEN Forum (http://amen.myfastforum.org/index.php)

Previous Threads:

Evil Inc. Do-gooders beware! - Psyke_D [Thread Auto-pruned]
AMEN, Godmodding and Good Hating since, well, the last thread. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34553) - Rex Idiotarum
AMEN III: Revenge of the Munchkins (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=36535) - Rex Idiotarum
AMEN IV: Return of the Pogo (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=37474) - Rex Idiotarum
AMEN V: Rise of the Magtoks/Maggots (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=38748) - Rex Idiotarum
AMEN VI: The Secret of Saurous Rock (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=40045) - Lord Magtok
AMEN 007: Casino Ratavo - Saurous [Thread mysteriously missing]
AMEN VIII: The REAL one! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43207) - Fus.Weapon 1337
Amen IX: They just wouldn't stay away! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44832) - Korith
AMEN X: Call of Moonthulu (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=46716) - Castaras
AMEN XI: Raiders of the Lost Pie (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=48523) - PirateMonk
AMEN XII: Now pretty much equivalent to Final Fantasy! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=50599) - Castaras
Amen XIII: Thread 1408 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=51830) - Vespe Ratavo
AMEN XIV: A Growing Industry (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=53464) - PirateMonk
AMEN XV: Up to Eleven Days a Week (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=3090418)- Vespe Ratavo.
AMEN XVI: Sanity's Requiem (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56619) - PirateMonk
AMEN XVII: <insert witty title here> (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=60488) - Castaras
AMEN XVIII: Idiocracy (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=64866) - PirateMonk
AMEN XIX: Now Slightly Older Than Your Average Goldfish (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=3701495) - Raistlin

AMEN Trophy Case:

http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u130/Castaras/TrophyShelf.png


Wanting to join? Simple:-


Wander aimlessly in.
Poke one of the current members until they hand you the paperwork.
If the aforementioned current member you poke kills you rather than hands you the paperwork, then repeat step 2.
Sign the mountain of paperwork, preferably in your own blood, although anyone's blood will do.
Prepare to have had your non-existent soul to have been sold to whoever gave you the legalese.
Congratulations! You're now an official AMENite! Do random stuff! Kill people! Make things explode!


And if you're just visiting, then please do not leave muddy footprints in the base. All those who visit should be aware that AMEN take no responsibility whatsoever for any torture/evil practices/death that may occur to the individual visiting. Honest.

[Haruki-kun]

Yay, New Thread.


((The new thread isn't up yet, Haruki. Everyone can hear you.))
O RLY????

Well, whatever, the soundproof box was boring me. Apparenlty everyone can hear it anyway.

[PirateMonk]

"Get rid of the period in the title."

[Saurous]

Saurous takes in a deep breath of the new thread.

"Ah. That new base scent."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe sighs.

I'm bored. Who wants to go on an epic adventure to find the Pick of Destiny?

[Raistlin1040]

A static-like voice with an echo sounds into Vespe's ear.

This is ground control to Major Tom...

[Vespe Ratavo]

Hm...Raistlin, what do you think the Pick of Destiny would be? A major artifact that gives a +50 to Perform checks? Too much? Too little?

[PirateMonk]

Vespe sighs.

I'm bored. Who wants to go on an epic adventure to find the Pick of Destiny?

"Well, it's been a while since I went on any plot that my player was not running, so why not?"

[Raistlin1040]

Hm...Raistlin, what do you think the Pick of Destiny would be? A major artifact that gives a +50 to Perform checks? Too much? Too little?

I don't know. Probably allows te user to suceed on any perform check. Also

Take your protein pills, and put your helmet on.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Hm...this might make a good homebrew...

Vespe takes some protein pills and puts on a helmet.

Is this going somewhere?

[Raistlin1040]

Not really. I'm just quoting Space Oddity.

[Free Hand]

Cat appears and throws a brick at Vespe.

"That movie sucked!!"

Cat throws another at Raistlin.

[Raistlin1040]

Raistlin dodges it.

What was that for?

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe throws a brick back at Cat.

Oh yeah, the spineless HALO-hugger decides to tell us what movies are good and aren't. Why don't you head on over to HALO and drink coffee and moan about how mean everyone at AMEN is? Don't think I've forgiven you for that boop you tried to pull by making our thread name match with theirs. Should we all wear matching sweaters next? Sounds fabulous.

[Uncle Festy]

O RLY????

((Yes, really. I posted that, and the new thread came up two minutes later. Check the time stamps.))

Homer, the author of the Iliad, walks into the base.
"Hey, everyone. Festy's on vacation, so I'm taking over for him. Later."
Homer goes to redesign Uncle's room.

[Saurous]

"So, it seems that Festy is gone for the moment."

Saurous raises both hands above his head and cheers.

"Yes! I have no more competition for alpha necromancer!"

[Free Hand]

"Honestly I don't really like you."

Cat splits in half to evade the brick.

"Although I admit I lack a spine these other accusations of yours are groundless. Did I hurt your feelings when I proposed the joint venture? How would a flimsy little title suddenly put AMEN and HALO on chummier grounds then they are already? Hell they pop over every other post, I really think you're over blowing this whole thing."

[V Junior]

Time is fixed, and then shatters again because Saur is happy.

Today is really not my day... Ooh! I know!

Meadhbh stops time, runs downstairs, and paints Saur pink. She then gets a load of pretty flowers and sticks them all over him. She then gives him a smily-face balloon and runs back to her room. She then restarts time.

[Saurous]

Saurous immediately stops cheering as time starts up again. He looks down at his clothes, and both his hands flare up with energy, peeling away any paint or flowers that happen to be on them.

"Okay, which one of you pranksters did this?"

[Raistlin1040]

Music can stand the test of time. Magtok's daughter.

[Saurous]

Saurous sighs.

"Of course. It is always either Verandius or Meadhbh that causes this idiotic things to happen to me that don't immediately cause my death."

Saurous creates a burst of negative energy around himself that removes the rest of the paint.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Gwyn decides that now is the time for grenade tennis.

[Uncle Festy]

Homer agrees.
He returns to the main hall in order to play.

[Saurous]

Saurous disagrees, and skitters off to the couch. He pushes it to the side of the room that is furthest from the play area, and sits down on it.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Gwyn takes a tinkered grenade with a longer timer out of his pocket, primes it, and serves to Homer.

[Uncle Festy]

Homer, moving with surprising speed, leaps up and knocks the grenade back over the net.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok yawns, and heads elsewhere to play Overlord.

[Vespe Ratavo]

We may need to change the banner soon. We've had it for a while. Curly doesn't use that avatar any more, Dr. Bath joined HALO, Castaras left, Exy more or less left once Cassie did, Fullbladder, Korith, Draken, Uberblah, and Fus never come around, and I can't even tell who that guy with the sword is.

[Uncle Festy]

((If you make a new banner, use festy, not homer. The poet's only around temporarily [AKA he's gone as soon as I get bored of him].))

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok suddenly gets the odd urge to barbecue elven children, and after a trip to the labs and a storage room, he begins to do so.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Gwyn leaps lightly forward and returns the grenade, just over the net, so, Homer will either have to leave it, or hit it high into the air.

[V Junior]

"Of course. It is always either Verandius or Meadhbh that causes this idiotic things to happen to me that don't immediately cause my death."

For the last time, Saurous, it's Junior, not Verandius. Verandius may be my real name, but I discarded it for Junior. And you really don't wanna hear my full name...


Um. Yes we do.

Fine...

Verandius 'Junior' Astimar Casilas Maratan Brina Havanna Jerica Musla Starshant Emika Julie Maria Jane Killinsa Trikal Mastra Annabelle Chestin Jonie Markia Emily Farina Jirachi Nature-Armatir. -pant pant-

[Vespe Ratavo]

That's nothing. Have you ever heard Vespe's complete species?

Elf/Drow/Vulcan/Eldar/Dark Eldar/Dwarf/Human/Cyborg/
Demon/Celestial/Zombie/Vampire/Werewolf/Troll/
Ogre/Beholder/Manticore/ Unicorn/Gryphon/Elephant/Wolf/
Orc/Ork/Orque/Golem/Goblin/Darkmantle/
Kobold/Spider/Turtle/Shark with Frickin' Laser Beam on it's Frickin' Head/Kraken/Hydra/Red Dragon/Scorpionfolk/
Lizardfolk/Catfolk/Hyenafolk/Archon/Eagle/Aboleth.

No, I didn't make just make that up, I really did list Vespe's species as that one time after I got annoyed at all the half-drow around here (no offense to them, it's just that there were A LOT of them back then).

[Free Hand]

Cat ascends to the OOC plane.

"Wait, how the hell does Vespe look like a prepubescent elf with all those inane templates scrunched into him? In the least he should look more like one of the failed clones in Aliens Resurrection. I mean look a Saurous, he's only some elf/drow/lich and he looks like absolute crap."

Cat returns to the AMEN base.

"You know we should take the opportunity that a new banner provides to make some sort of logo for AMEN. Maybe we could try something different for the banner while we're at it, has anyone ever heard of The Warriors?"

[Vespe Ratavo]

Heard of it, haven't seen it, sounds good. Also note that bold equals Carlos, the player, and blue equals Vespe, the character.

Honestly I have no clue. All I know is that my very DNA is hilariously unstable and could collapse at any moment-

Vespe melts into a pile of goo.

[Free Hand]

"So Carlos talks in the third person? Well anyway the Warriors was turned into a game by Rockstar and in it they did this interesting thing to introduce the various gangs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uUu6F2QgTY)."

[Uncle Festy]

Homer whacks the grenade back up in a high arc, going far over the net and halfway across the room.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Pretty cool, but I'm not sure if it'd work for us. It might...maybe some fancy Flash workings could be in order, but none of us can animate to my knowledge.

[Free Hand]

"I think it would be a good idea for AMENites reading this to change their votes to Saurous to be Raised, because only he's at risk, then we can fight over mooncalled or Raistlin next time, because right now Tia is winning."

Cat turns to Vespe.

"I wasn't thinking of animating it since we can't really have it on the forum anyway.."

[Saurous]

Cat ascends to the OOC plane.

"Wait, how the hell does Vespe look like a prepubescent elf with all those inane templates scrunched into him? In the least he should look more like one of the failed clones in Aliens Resurrection. I mean look a Saurous, he's only some elf/drow/lich and he looks like absolute crap."

"I'm just a gray elf lich. Not a half drow."

[Free Hand]

"Does it really matter?"

[Uncle Festy]

"Probably. It usually does.
I mean, would you like to be called a half - fiend instead of a full-blooded devil?
Eh, whatever."

[Free Hand]

"Well who cares about devils? and why do people insist on having relationships outside their species? I swear I'm the only full anything in this place."

[Uncle Festy]

"Hey! I resent that! I'm a pure human! Well, maybe with a bit of immortal blood mixed in - but in my era, everyone had some. And Uncle's a goblin, through and through."

[Saurous]

"Well, technically lichdom is less of a mating thing and more of a magical enchantment to hold yourself between life and death.

I'm sure there is someone who is not a mixed race. I believe Moon Called is...no, she's half-elf, half-drow.

What about...no, she's a human/god hybrid."

Saurous scratches his chin in thought for a moment.

"Curly is only human without any extra races, as far as I can tell."

[Raider]

"Pure unholy pumpkin abomination, through and through
.................................................. ........Hi guys!"

[Free Hand]

"So how did you manage to become a quarter Lich then?"

Cat's eye's widen when he hears laughter coming from somewhere outside the room. He cringes while looking around.

[Saurous]

"So how did you manage to become a quarter Lich then?"

Cat's eye's widen when he hears laughter coming from somewhere outside the room. He cringes while looking around.

"Magic. Even Vespe could figure that much out."

Saurous sits upright, glancing about at the walls.

"Would you happen to know what that laughter is, Cat?"

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Gwyn doesn't seem surprised by the laughter.

[Free Hand]

"I hope not.."

Cat hides himself behind the couch. His slightly muffled voice can be heard from behind it.

"I really don't like this whole genderbender week."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok looks up from his Tetris game, and sees...a guy with a pumpkin head? He makes his way over to the newcomer, pausing his game and grabbing one last handful of Doritos before making his way to the guy.

Hi Shovels. It's Shovels, right? Welcome to the Association of the Malicious, Evil, and Nefarious, the realm of darkness and insanity. Here we live together in complete chaos. We have yet to ever fall to the force of light, because we have something that all heroes, the brave and the strong, the wise and the barbaric, fear: Numbers.

Oh, and our superior intellect, weapons, and everything else helps too.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Gwyn stands up, and introduces himself.

"Hey. I'm Gwyn. This is Saurous, this is Cat, and this is Lord Magtok. They will occasionally try and kill you. It's their special way of saying hello."

[Raider]

Shovels giggles from his unknown hiding place and decides to milk their fear for his personal pleasure

"I'm a super scary monster! I want to suck your blood Fear Me!"

Then he realizes he has been spotted..........

"Howdyily Dowdily AMEN. Ummm..........I've never been much on speeches*sniff* but you guys are the most despicable and unlikable group imaginable! Come here you!"

Shovels quickly tackle hugs Cat and giggles

"Friend"

[Gaelbert]

"Ooh, another victim. I'm no longer the newest one here!"
Galen tosses a few fireballs around with a lazy flicking of his wrist. He barely misses the Rock band drum set.

[Raistlin1040]

Ahh, how I love my race. Demon (Fallen Angel) Elf/God. It's good to be this powerful.

[Free Hand]

"You know the rest of you would do well to hide."

The laughter is coming closer.

[Lord Magtok]

:smalleek:

Run! He's got hugs!

Magtok takes the bag of Cheez Its and Tetris, and darts away as fast as he can.

[Free Hand]

Cat kicks the pumpkin in his pumpkin when he tries to hug him.

"Go hug the Demon (Fallen Angel) Elf/God, I'm trying to hide."

[Uncle Festy]

Homer laughs at the laughter, and attempts to hug the newcomer.
"Isn't laughing fun?"

[Raider]

Shovels' eyes widen and he hugs the strange smelling man.

"Thanks for the welcome guys but I have innocent heads to sever, see you tommorow."

[Free Hand]

The couch shakes a bit as Cat tries to hide himself deeper behind it. The source of the laughter is a number of female demons who make their way into the room. several of them see the couch shaking and smile at each other.

[CommodoreFluffy]

WHEEE!!!....*Crash*

The commodore landed on Magtok, from somewhere...up, with a declaration of peace.

"Well Shoot, this is ironic."

Is he alive?

[Free Hand]

Cat loses his nerve when some of them move closer. He leaps out from behind the couch and dives through a hastily formed gate, seeing him several others follow him through while the rest spread out around the base to ambush him. Cat runs frantically through the base while the demoness' pursue him laughing. Cat jumps into another gate and manages to escape them for the moment. The ones following him curse when he gets away and many teleport to other places in search of him. Others remain behind in case he tries to get back.

[V Junior]

Junior laugh's at Cat's plight. Se then summons some MORE female demons, and uses her power to drag Cat back through to AMEN.


"What about...no, she's a human/god hybrid."

Do you mean me? In which case, it's not human/god, it's human/Natraii hybrid.

Natraii are basically my family, Lady Apocalypse, the Deaths, Father Time (deceased, after a weird raven-haired woman killed him...), and a few others.

((THERE! I finally figured out what to call Junior's race!))

[Free Hand]

Cat appears back in the AMEN base. and is quickly surrounded by a number of them. The demon seemed bewildered but not as terrified as they were expecting. They realize this isn't the real Cat, just one of his doubles. They quickly lose interest him him afterwards.

One of them goes up to Junior

"Thanks for the help, if you see him again we'd really appreciate it if you send him our way."

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki walks into the base through the front door and sits, staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaring at the scene.

What? I'm bored. I've been here almost 15 seconds and no one has tried to kill me!

[Castaras]

A shadow shifts, as an old presence enters the AMEN Base, beginning to lurk once again.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok climbs out from underneath the commodore, "borrows" a few of Haruki's organs, and gets some robots to fill said organs up with air so they resemble balloons, to welcome the pieomancer back to AMEN.

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki returns to last save point and smacks Magtok upside the head.

Then he helps him with the "balloons"

For some reason, the lungs seem to fill up better than the others......

[Castaras]

"Well, lungs are made for being filled with air."

Castaras heads out the shadows, and helps with the "balloons" also.

"See, the lungs have all these capillaries and such, which contain more air, which help them expand."

She takes one lung balloon, and goes over to Magtok.

"Although, this can also be used to create a useful device"

She puts in a few knives inside the lung, finishes blowing it up, then chucks it at Magtok. On impact, it'll explode, the knives flying in all directions.

"See? Brilliant for death and destruction. :smallbiggrin:"

She then creates another, chucks it at Haruki, before walking into her old room, locking the door behind her.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok runs around screaming and bleeding and being his usual pincushiony self.

Aaaaaauugghh! It burns! I've got divine blood and gore and knives buried inside me!

[V Junior]

Junior heals Magtok.

(To Demoness) No problem.
(To Castaras) YOU'RE BACK!! -hugs-

[Raider]

Shovels walks in smelling of cheap rum and covered in lipstick

"Eh, uh......umm yeah. Hey old guy apparently. I'm a perverse pumpkin monstrocity, quite the norm here yes? Anyways welcome"

Shovels crosses the room and enters the bathroom, and then quickly exits screaming.

[Castaras]

Castaras meeps as she is hugged by Junior. She then turns to Raider, ignoring all continuity and sense. What? It's AMEN. Continuity left years ago.

"You must be a new guy who came after I left. Have a pie."

She gives a pie to the new guy.

On consumption, it will turn him into a talking strawberry.

[Raider]

Shovels consumes the pie at an inhuman speed and begins to pat his body, which now is an even MORE unholy strawumpkin.

"Well this is a rather strange set of affairs. But not unwelcome."

Shovels looks around before taking a bite out of his shoulder.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Gwyn creepily appears behind Shovels, and takes a bite out of his shoulder.

[Castaras]

Castaras chuckles.

"Enjoy yourselves then. :smallamused:"

She summons a few potions, hmming, fading away.

[Haruki-kun]

She then creates another, chucks it at Haruki, before walking into her old room, locking the door behind her.

Hey, what are you-- oh.... OW!!! OUCH!!!!! GAHHH!!!!!!

THE PAIN!!!!! THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

................still glad you're back.

BUT THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

[Saurous]

Saurous walks in from his labs, flicking a bloody scalpel in between the fingers of his right hand. This makes an annoying "flink flink flink flink" noise. He looks about at Magtok, Haruki, and Shovels.

"I feel like I missed something important."

[Raider]

Shovels tears off his index finger and offers it to Saurous who Shovels notices smells of something foul.

"Would you care for a flavorful strawberry stick? I make it myself"

[Saurous]

"Um...no thank you. I try not to eat food offered from living fruit."

Saurous raises his left hand to his nose and sniffs, and recoils slightly.

"Dammit, you can never dissect corpses without smelling like internal liquids and formaldehyde..."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe pops in.

Cassie's back? Awesome! :smallbiggrin:

Now that the pie-omancer is back, we can do a Sweeney Todd reference!

Or...not.

Yeah, I think I already beat that particular joke to death in the AMEN MSN chat. Still, maybe...

[Haruki-kun]

Vespe pops in.

Cassie's back? Awesome! :smallbiggrin:

Now that the pie-omancer is back, we can do a Sweeney Todd reference!

Or...not.

Yeah, I think I already beat that particular joke to death in the AMEN MSN chat. Still, maybe...

Really? I thought the only jokes that were beaten to death were Portal References, Sparta References, and Eiffel Towers.

[PirateMonk]

Vespe pops in.

Cassie's back? Awesome! :smallbiggrin:

Now that the pie-omancer is back, we can do a Sweeney Todd reference!

Or...not.

Yeah, I think I already beat that particular joke to death in the AMEN MSN chat. Still, maybe...

"How about Into the Woods?"

[V Junior]

((My Y6 school play?))

Junior slaps her forehead.

Meanwhile, the PORTAL TO ANOTHER WORLD THAT HAD BEEN OPEN FOR AGES makes itself known by sucking in Saur.

((Forest plot or summat in the Plot thread))

[Saurous]

Saurous sighs as he is slowly pulled towards the portal. He digs the scalpel into the floor. The surgical equipment is surprisingly strong and keeps Saurous from being dragged any further.

[V Junior]

The PTAWTHBOFA's strength is like that of Mother Nature - ie, it can't be beaten. The scapel Saurous is using to keep himself from falling into the portal snaps like a toothpick, and he is pulled into a jungle abyss.

Anything Saur uses to pull himself out will auto-fail, unless it's Mother Nature herself. Which won't happen.

[Saurous]

((What about player intervention, huh?))

SP appears, and holds Saurous by the end of his cloak to the point where he isn't in the portal.

"What if I don't want to deal with your jungle plot, V? What then?"

[Raider]

Shovels, having changed back to his regular form and somehow regenerating his body through black pumkiny magic, glances at the epic events happening before him.

"I'm gonna go play Halo 3, you guys go have an otherworldly adventure."

And with that, Shovels immersed himself in the evil of Microsoft.

[Uncle Festy]

((Eh, what the heck. I'm checking the OoBPPoAaH regularly anyways for Masato's Zio plot. I'll bite.))

"But Saaam, I don't wanna go to the jung-oof!"

The oof was, of course, caused by a massive baseball bat materializing out of nowhere, and swinging itself at Homer, knocking him into the portal.

Of course.

[PirateMonk]

PM pokes various nearby people with a stick. "Anyone awake?"

[Gaelbert]

Galen yawns.

"No, don't think so."

[Free Hand]

The monolith appears in AMEN base bringing the thread to the top of SMBG.

[Castaras]

Castaras walks over to the monolith, poking it various times.

She then summons a bowl of blood, and pours it over the monolith.

"Ogri, arise."

After this obscure reference, Castaras sits on the sofa, waiting for something to happen.

[PirateMonk]

PM walks in, several corpses probably weighing twice what he does each neatly folded in his arms.

[sheepofoblivion]

The Sheep walks in, blades out just in case after finally finding this thread... (the last one was in structered games...)

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki walks in and looks around.

This is getting boring! We need more cowbell!

He stands in the middle of the room, takes a cowbell, and starts playing.

That's better! Cowbell Hero tournament!

[PirateMonk]

PM hurls a corpse at Haruki. "Stop that!"

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki is hit by the corpse.

Blasphemy! You can't stop the Cowbell! It's unbeatable! It's part of my plan to take over improve the world!


domination[/S] improvement"]You will require:

-Cowbell
-More Cowbell
-Chuck Norris
-The Game
-Honey
-Leeeeeeeeeeroy Jenkins
-More Cowbell
-Wikipedia
-Pop-Tarts
-Yet more Cowbell
-A Chaotic Evil character
-A Death Note
-A Pikachu
-An Iced Tea

See? I'm almost done!

[PirateMonk]

PM sets Haruki on fire. Again. All water in the area is preemptively transmuted to napalm this time.

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki screams in pain, but continues playing the cowbell.

[PirateMonk]

PM tosses a jug of former water over the Cowbell.

[Haruki-kun]

The cowbell, as well as Haruki, are now enveloped in flames.

But he keeps playing the Cowbell.

[PirateMonk]

PM waits for the Cowbell to melt.

[Volug]

A lighted match falls down from the ceiling towards Haruki...

[Haruki-kun]

A lighted match falls down from the ceiling towards Haruki...

Thanks, Masato! But I don't think it'll work when one is ALREADY on fire. :smalleek:

Man, this cowbell is getting hot......

[Volug]

Thanks, Masato! But I don't think it'll work when one is ALREADY on fire. :smalleek:

Man, this cowbell is getting hot......

... oh yeah...
Do you get hotter then?:smallconfused:

And by the way... Watch that gasoline pipe that just broke over your head and is leaking badly, you might just blow up.

[Haruki-kun]

http://www.cio.cl/Portals/0/explosion.jpg

The Ghost of a Cowbell can still be heard.

[PirateMonk]

PM smothers it with Ghost Touch napalm.

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki walks into the base from the previous save point and puts the Cowbell away.

Fine! But I expect no complains from you when you realize how much this thread needs cowbell!

[sheepofoblivion]

*starts playing electic cowbell* ow, ow! my hands!!! aHH!!!!:smalleek: [/pain]

[Gaelbert]

"Baby, don't fear the reaper."
((And that was evil, putting the Game on the list. I approve.))

[V Junior]

((What about player intervention, huh?))

SP appears, and holds Saurous by the end of his cloak to the point where he isn't in the portal.

"What if I don't want to deal with your jungle plot, V? What then?"

...Shut up.

Victoria slaps SP so hard that he falls into the portal along with his character.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly walks into the base bearing the trusty Hammer of Bumpage. She thwacks the walls of the base repeatedly.
Some walls crack and a small section of the ceiling falls down. "Is that the end now? I'm bored."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok climbs to his feet and dusts himself off, removing the ceiling fan that was stuck in his head. That bump sure shook the place a lot.

I'd rather not experience that again any time soon. How about we do something dumb and silly?

[Saurous]

SP disappears in a puff of red smoke just as soon as Victoria smacks him.

Saurous catches the edge of the portal...somehow...just long enough for him to stab himself in the chest with his katana. His ghost hovers over Magtok.

"Your girlfriend and her plots are annoying, Magtok."

[PirateMonk]

PM glances at the PlotPortalTM. "Should I call an exterminator?"

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Everything always falls on you Maggy." Curly absently nods to PM's suggestion and sighs. "CP just summoned a silly plot to be determined by the next poster."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Suddenly, a van crashes through the wall. It sports a logo on the side, which consists of the word "Plot" crossed out in the middle of a circle.

Vespe bursts out of it, bearing an orange jumpsuit and a metal backpack with all sorts of gadgets and little blinking buttons on it.

Did someone call the PLOTBUSTERS?

Vespe sees the PlotPortal.

Dear gods! I've got to act quickly!

Vespe pulls a hose out from the backpack and sucks the portal into the pack.

My job is done here.

Vespe plops down on the couch.

[Saurous]

"Everything always falls on you Maggy." Curly absently nods to PM's suggestion and sighs. "CP just summoned a silly plot to be determined by the next poster."

"Well, he is the Universe's Pincushion. If it doesn't fall on him, it may fall on one of the more important, less replaceable people."

Saurous glances about, as Vespe was the next poster. That is never good when it comes to plot starting.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok stares in awe of Vespe, not quite sure what to do or say next, rendered completely speechless.

[Saurous]

Saurous hovers down, and gives Magtok an incorporeal slap across the face.

"Focus, man. It wasn't that impressive a reference."

[PirateMonk]

PM eyes Vespe. "O...kay. Hey, I kidnapped a paladin from that Werewolf village over there. Who wants to help torture him?"

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok raises his hand after being slapped.

Oooo, me! Pick me!

[PirateMonk]

"Great. Let's go, he's in torture room 4-C. An when are we going to get to Structured Games?" PM walks off to the dungeons, then remembers that the stairs are broken and teleports himself and Magtok there. "4-C should be right over there." PM walks over to the door.

"Ready?"

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok follows.

Kay.

[PirateMonk]

PirateMonk opens the door and walks in. There's a paladin sitting inside, looking very bored. "Capturing him was fairly easy, I just set a few villagers on fire, but now I'm not really sure what to do with him. I suppose you know about this stuff?"

[Lord Magtok]

Making him fall is kinda cliche...

Ooo! I have an idea! Let's give him clown shoes and make-up and stuff and throw him at Saur!

[PirateMonk]

"Okay!" PM eagerly begins dressing the paladin in clown gear. The paladin gives Magtok a questioning look.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Wait! I have a better idea...of all the clowns in the world, I know of the one who is MOST disturbing.

Vespe enters the room and closes the door. A sign appears on the door saying "Do Not Disturb." Screams can be heard from inside.

A few moments later, the door opens up.

This guy walks out. (http://www.tmalliance.com/uploads/022766/SweetTooth_Stalking.jpg)

*sniff* It's my masterpiece.

[Saurous]

Upstairs, Saurous hovers about idly. He sighs after hearing screams, feeling left out of the torture because of his current unliving state.

[PirateMonk]

"Ooh, is he a Ghost Touch clown?"

[Vespe Ratavo]

He's Sweet Tooth. He can do whatever the hell he wants. :smallamused:

Sweet Tooth notes the reference to a ghost.

Killing a ghost? Interesting.

Sweet Tooth runs upstairs and lunges at Saurous with a knife.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok turns away, and climbs into a small cardboard.

[Saurous]

Saurous glances at Sweet Tooth, instinctively moving out of the way of him as he jumps at him.

"Hey, what are you doi-?"

After noting his clownish appearance, Saurous turns and flies away as fast as he can. His screams echo throughout the base.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Sweet Tooth starts to run after Saurous, but after the ghost outruns him, he sighs, snaps his fingers, and a rumbling sound is heard. An ice cream truck with a clowns likeness on top bursts through the wall, and Sweet Tooth hops in.

The car speeds after Saurous, firing missiles and machine guns at him, despite the fact that these probably won't help very much.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly burts out laughing and applauds. Then she goes to hide somewhere while indicating that the clown can play with the paladin.

[Saurous]

Saurous continues to fly as quickly as possible, the bullets and rockets flying through his immaterial form and hitting walls or bystanders. He pauses in his screaming for a moment to look back and say:

"The clown has a satanic ice cream truck? When does the madness stop?!"

He then continues screaming, now getting a bit more erratic in his movements, diving through walls and other objects.

[Vespe Ratavo]

The madness doesn't stop yet...

The truck suddenly transforms. I can't even describe it. The chassis stands up on the wheels, and the head moves to the top...and it starts shooting missiles. Lots of 'em. And these have Ghost Touch.

[Jalor]

Ahem...

I wish to join, and if anyone refuses, I will roast them with a maximized fireball and use the body for target practice.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly pretty much falls out of her hiding place crying with laughter.

[sheepofoblivion]

Well, that's not up to me, but I feel this has to be said...

Welcome to AMEN!!!!! *stabs in the back*

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok yawns.

That's nice. Now pick a speech color, bleed your signature into the paperwork, and go do something evil somewhere, preferably with a shirt on.

[Jalor]

I have about 26 levels in some overpowered 3rd party class. That took away what, 10% of my health?

Oh, almost forgot.

*maximized fireball*
*quickened fireball*

Edit: Simu'd. And shirts are flammable, so no.

[Haruki-kun]

*yawn*

Haruki takes 5 tons of paperwork and hands them over to the new comer.

Sign with your own blood wherever there's a line. Yes, I realize they're just ripped notebook pages, just sign everywhere, OK?

[PirateMonk]

I have about 26 levels in some overpowered 3rd party class. That took away what, 10% of my health?

Oh, almost forgot.

*maximized fireball*
*quickened fireball*

Edit: Simu'd. And shirts are flammable, so no.

"Use asbestos."

[Jalor]

Nah, that stuff causes cancer. Besides, I get a circumstance bonus on Intimidate checks when my 22 STR is plainly visible.

*signs paperwork*

Careful, that's liable to burst into flame at random intervals. Part of that whole planetouched thing.

[PirateMonk]

"Yeah, but if you're badass enough, you become immune to cancer, so its just the schholchildren. You are that badass, right?"

[Raider]

Shovels gets up from playing his 360 and notices the devilish ice cream truck thing and the newcomer.

"Well this looks like it can be easily solved."

Shovels yawns before charging the newcomer and pushing him in front of one of the missiles.

"Tee Hee, I love the smell of burnt applicant flesh in the late afternoon."

[PirateMonk]

PM rolls his eyes at Shovels. "You do realize that you just tried to burn a fire-based person, don't you? And fire guy, aren't pants flammable too?"

[Raider]

"What! I thought an ice cream truck of this power would atleast have missiles of the flesh eating kitten variety? Anyway I'm not the new guy anymore! Fishy sticks (http://www.gortons.com/images/products/fishsticks_18_bg.jpg) for all!"

Shovels snaps his fingers and fish sticks begin falling from the ceiling

[Jalor]

PM rolls his eyes at Shovels. "You do realize that you just tried to burn a fire-based person, don't you? And fire guy, aren't pants flammable too?"

Yes. They are.

It's just one of those arbitrary rulings intended to prevent a repeat of that whole Elan Incident.

Shovels, I'm pretty sure 8 PM counts as "evening."

Edit: Friggin' simu'd again.

[sheepofoblivion]

*reflex save, "too easy"* (takes no damage do to evasion) :smallannoyed: don't be so mean to people, I'm just another person on this thread... *sigh*

*launches a flurry of blows with twin frost enchanted swords, the complex weaving and jabs go on for what seems to be eternity, then casts Wall of Ice, encasing the guy with a bowl cut in magical ice*

[Jalor]

...
...
Crap.

*waits to thaw*

[Saurous]

Saurous flies back into the central room, pausing for a moment to glance about at Jalor and the Oblivious Sheep or whatever he's supposed to be.

"You know, I would think that a planetouched man that is essentially a living flamethrower would not have much of a problem with ice."

Saurous then continues flying, glancing back to see if the clown is still following.

[PirateMonk]

*reflex save, "too easy"* (takes no damage do to evasion) :smallannoyed: don't be so mean to people, I'm just another person on this thread... *sigh*

*launches a flurry of blows with twin frost enchanted swords, the complex weaving and jabs go on for what seems to be eternity, then casts Wall of Ice, encasing the guy with a bowl cut in magical ice*

"Stop breaking the rules of D&D and do something constructive! Or, better yet, destructive."

[sheepofoblivion]

Saurous flies back into the central room, pausing for a moment to glance about at Jalor and the Oblivious Sheep or whatever he's supposed to be.

"You know, I would think that a planetouched man that is essentially a living flamethrower would not have much of a problem with ice."

Saurous then continues flying, glancing back to see if the clown is still following.

... It's... super ice!

(@^ how did I break the rules of DnD?... )

*looks to see what the floating ghost thing is running from... ":smalleek: AHHH CLOWNS!!!!!!!:smalleek: "* *runs*

[Lord Magtok]

Yeah, but people are weird, Saur.

Magtok takes a few lasers, and carves the ice into a swan, without harming the guy inside.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Sweet Tooth has gotten bored and wandered off to do something else.

Currently, he's sitting on the couch, playing Twisted Metal Black as himself.

[PirateMonk]

... It's... super ice!

(@^ how did I break the rules of DnD?... )

*looks to see what the floating ghost thing is running from... ":smalleek: AHHH CLOWNS!!!!!!!:smalleek: "* *runs*

((Flurry of blows, assuming you are referring to the monk ability, doesn't work with swords.))

[Saurous]

"Stop breaking the rules of D&D and do something constructive! Or, better yet, destructive."

As Saurous comes back due to Sweet Tooth calming down, and tries to stifle a laugh.

"Constructive actions? In AMEN? Or in any game or role-playing situation on this board?"

[sheepofoblivion]

I actually didn't realize that I had used the same name as the ability until now... Its just that Kotor has Fluffy (<honest typo) "flurry" as an attack, and I try to be descriptive, and I was thinking of Kotor, so yeah,,,

*looks at swan...* "nice, 7/10, could be more detailed around the eyes, nah, I'm just messing with you, the reason I took points off is because you didn't kill the person inside..."

[V Junior]

Suddenly, a van crashes through the wall. It sports a logo on the side, which consists of the word "Plot" crossed out in the middle of a circle.

Vespe bursts out of it, bearing an orange jumpsuit and a metal backpack with all sorts of gadgets and little blinking buttons on it.

Did someone call the PLOTBUSTERS?

Vespe sees the PlotPortal.

Dear gods! I've got to act quickly!

Vespe pulls a hose out from the backpack and sucks the portal into the pack.

My job is done here.

Vespe plops down on the couch.

...

The PlotPortal releases itself and sucks Vespe in.

((You're never gonna get rid of the PlotPortal until I decide its work is done.))

[Goblin Music]

This song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04NkbmUGQwg) starts to play

[PirateMonk]

PM places a SEP field around the Portal and proceeds to ignore it completely.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok glances at the portal, and opens his mouth to make a reference to a certain videogame, when suddenly a weighted companion cube zips by and knocks him out with a sudden smack to the head.

[Haruki-kun]

Has anyone seen my cake around here.........?

.......What? Someone had to mention the cake!

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe is sucked into the plot portal and promptly kills himself.

Another Vespe walks out of the cloning room and turns on the TV.

[PirateMonk]

PM hands Haruki a chocolate cake, topped with thick layers of delicious frosting.

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki takes the cake, puts it on the table and staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaares at it.

...............

Are there any cake connoisseurs who can tell me if this is a lie?

[PirateMonk]

"Just try it, you'll like it." PM says to Haruki with a grin.

[Haruki-kun]

PM, of all the AMENites, you're the only one whose food I would NEVER try first.......especially if you're grinning.

Haruki takes the cake and force-feeds it to Vespe.

[PirateMonk]

The cake bursts upon touching Vespe, spraying both him and Haruki with napalm. "'I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like burning flesh, burning flesh! Die, die, die!'" PM quotes as he tosses a match at the two.

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki swallows the match.

Hmm.... tasty! And it wasn't a lie!

[PirateMonk]

PM lights Haruki with a flamethrower.

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki catches on fire.

*sigh*

Again? Why don't you make me blow up or something? Explosions are cooler than fire.....

Besides, I'm an Angel. I have resistance against fire.

Haruki, still in flames, sits on the couch and turns on the TV.

Hey, look! It's DragonForce playing Through the Fire and Flames! How conveniently coincidential!

[Saurous]

"There are no coincidences."

Saurous floats in a manner that makes it seem like he is laying down in mid-air.

[PirateMonk]

"Okay." Haruki's head explodes. Then the rest of Haruki explodes.

[Raider]

After gobbling up all of his fishy sticks, Shovels notices the bloody angel pieces littering the lair and quickly staples a pair of angel wings left from the explosion onto his back.

"Epic Metal is the symphony of rock!"

Shovels shoves his pitchfork through PM's face in a carefully choreographed slaying technique.

[PirateMonk]

PM screams in pain and bleeds all over the rug.

[sheepofoblivion]

DAMIT you got the rug dirty, now we'll have to clean it... .... damm.... *messes up corpse*

[Saurous]

"Why exactly are you still hanging around here, oblivious sheep? Last I checked, you aren't an AMENite and a member of Commodore's LAW."

[Raider]

In his less then perfectly choreographed slaying technique, Shovels somehow cuts off his own head with a pitchfork and falls into a fishtank filled with piranhas.

"Umm............guys, could you maybe get me a headless barbie or something?
I have dozens in my room."

Thankfully the piranhas don't seem to like pumpkin but otherwise are starving.

[sheepofoblivion]

"Why exactly are you still hanging around here, oblivious sheep? Last I checked, you aren't an AMENite and a member of Commodore's LAW."

Well... Obviously because... ... I have no idea *teleports out of thread*

[PirateMonk]

"Does anyone know where Vespe put my paladin?"

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok leaves the room, comes back, and then chucks a barbie doll at Shovels.

I don't want to know why you have a bunch of decapitated dolls, do I?

[Saurous]

"I would think a headhunter would keep the removed heads of dolls rather than the decapitated bodies."

Saurous boredly flips around in the air, annoyed at the fact that his resurrection is taking so long.

[PirateMonk]

"Yay! We're in Structured Games? Who wants to come light werewolf villages on fire and take over Mafia cities?"

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Gwyn shrugs. "I have nothing better to do."

He carefully steps around bits of angel, and PM's body.

[PirateMonk]

"Okay, let's go!" PM runs off to a WW village.

[Saurous]

Saurous sighs.

"And once again PM starts a mundane Werewolf village attack that will never actually get finished.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Gwyn strides along.

When they reach there, he asks PM

"Are we aiming to kill or capture?"

[PirateMonk]

PM thinks it over for a moment. "Set on fire," he eventually decides.

[Haruki-kun]

"Yay! We're in Structured Games? Who wants to come light werewolf villages on fire and take over Mafia cities?"

Yeah.... I had to PM a mod to move both threads. My Sloth has been attacked.

You guys go ahead, I'll just stay here and put knives, swords and other pointy objects in all your beds watch TV.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Gwyn shudders.

"Why do I have this funny feeling someone's putting knives, swords, and other pointy objects in my bed?"

[Haruki-kun]

Gwyn shudders.

"Why do I have this funny feeling someone's putting knives, swords, and other pointy objects in my bed?"

Vespe did it, I swearz!

[Goblin Music]

Yar! that he did

[Lord Magtok]

A robot bows before Magtok.

He can't do anything to your bed, sire. Some faulty robots set it on fire five minutes ago.

Oh, okay. Thanks.

...Wait. You guys set my room on fire?! :smalleek:

Magtok panics, and runs towards his room, flailing his arms in the air and looking for a fire extinguisher.

[Raider]

Shovels somehow balances his demonic pumpkin head on the "Bikini Madness" line Barbie and begins examining his new body.

"Hey..........I look good. This is a great replacement until I can figure out how to reattach my old body."

Shovels climbs out of the fish bowl and takes a short glance down his top.
"Attacking Werewolves? Eh why not, lycanthropes need to be massacred too.
O that reminds me"

Shovels picks up Sweet Tooth off the couch with his amazing doll strength and shoves him into the fish bowl, along with "accidently" knocking the entire can of organ brand fish food in with him.

"I love my job."

[Haruki-kun]

Don't worry, Magtok! I've got the fire extinguisher!

*gives*

Wait, was that the fire extinguisher or the gasoline squirter? Why do these people even have gasoline squirters.....?

[Saurous]

"The gasoline squirter was either Zeratul's or PM's idea."

Saurous hmms for a moment, and then attempts to possess Haruki.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok takes the gasoline squirter, and runs into the room. Shortly afterwards, a large inferno rises from the room, and Maggy fails to return from the room.

[Raistlin1040]

Aeon walks out of his room with a guitar. He sits down and plays Wonderwall by Oasis.

[Haruki-kun]

"The gasoline squirter was either Zeratul's or PM's idea."

Saurous hmms for a moment, and then attempts to possess Haruki.

Haruki glares at Saurous.

You're attempting to..........:smalleek:

*is possesed*

[Saurous]

As soon as Saur gains control of Haruki, he looses balance and falls flat on his back.

How does he stay balanced with these things on his back?

[PirateMonk]

PM runs back to the base, grabs a gasoline squirter, returns to the village, and begins spraying the buildings and villagers with gasoline.

[Haruki-kun]

In Haruki's mind

No, Saurous, it's not easy..... my wings actually weight 50 kilograms. Each.

[PirateMonk]

PM notes that Gwyn has fallen asleep and lights the village on fire laughing gleefully. He then comes back to the base. "Anyone up for some Mafia?"

[Saurous]

Haruki, who is now flailing about on the floor trying to pull himself back up, abruptly shouts:

"Screw you PM! Screw you and all your pointless slaughtering of towns!"

[Lord Magtok]

A fresh Magtok clone shows up, and points a shotgun at Haruki, trying to decide whether to splatter his head everywhere, or target his chest and take out an internal organ or two.

[PirateMonk]

"..."

PM throws a glass of napalm at Haruki.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok opens fire on Haruki's chest, not knowing or caring if Saur will be hurt in the process.

[Haruki-kun]

In Haruki's mind

What? They're gonna kill me while I'm being possesed? Well there goes the fun of.......

I'm not in pain. What? Saurous feels all the pain? W00T!!!!!

[Castaras]

Castaras chuckles softly, watching everyone.

She then throws a few healing potions at Haruki, which on impact will heal him. This will probably either prolong the torture, or remove the pain.

Of course, if the pain gets removed, Cassie also chucks a few angry fire breathing lizards, just for good measure.

After this, she goes and searches for a laptop with Itunes on it, so that she can nuke a few places.

[Saurous]

Saurous exits Haruki as soon as Magtok shoots at him, not wanting to find out if he is destroyed if Haruki dies.

[Jalor]

*points at Haruki*
Hey! A pinata!

*quickened fireball*
*slashes with axes*

Crap. No candy.

*goes looking for a candy store to pillage and loot*

[Uncle Festy]

"...
What?
How'd HALO go through three threads in two weeks or something?
Meh, whatever."

[Saurous]

"They managed that because about eighty percent of the time they are doing random, menial things and chatting. The other twenty percent of their time is spent on plots.

Did you also know that almost 75% of all statistics are made up on the spot?"

[PirateMonk]

PM walks in, gathers up all the corpses he's left littered throughout the room, and tosses them into the furnace.

[Raider]

Shovels starts to make a go for the bodies but stops himself

"Like I have the room. Hey anyone up for a game of Hide and Go Seek?"

Shovels snaps his fingers and a small robot popped out of the wall.
Shovels doll body was cut off by the robot's laser vision and the mechanical servant used Elmer's glue to stick his head back on.

"That's Better."

[Vespe Ratavo]

Meanwhile, in Vespe's head:

There's a brain. And a mouth, two eyes, a nose, two ears, and some hair.

Well what were you expecting?

[Haruki-kun]

"...
What?
How'd HALO go through three threads in two weeks or something?
Meh, whatever."

Why? Why must you ask......?

We've covered this, already. They advance more because the plot demands it. *stabs the plot*

[Uncle Festy]

"Aaaaahhhh! I'm on fire!" Homer screams as he charges through the room.
"Stop, drop, and eggroll! Stop, drop, and eggroll!"
The completely... not-on-fire homer drops to the floor, screaming, and rolls into an eggroll.

[Free Hand]

Cat appears in the base.

"I agree with Saurous, I think its because we rack our minds for amusing ways to murder each other instead of typing "___ sips his coffee and eats a pop tart." I mean our inability to make a plot that extends beyond how may villages we can can massacre before going to bed shouldn't have anything to do with it... My point is that its because HALO drinks coffee and posts about other unnecessary things like eating, You might as well have a narrative on a toilet. I mean how many times in one day can you eat breakfast!?"

Cat flees back through the gate to the safety of another thread before the demoness' capture him.

[Haruki-kun]

Yeah, that's a problem. says Haruki as he drinks a poptart and munches on the coffee.

Seriously....... DOES IT MATTER??? It doesn't affect anyone here at all. So what if HALO moves faster than Random Banter? Stabbity Death moves faster than either of them anyway, I don't see you complaining about that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have stuff to do.

*kills a random AMENite with a cup of coffee*

Everything's a weapon.

[PirateMonk]

PM proceeds to eat breakfast 4,088,905,632,098 times. He explodes, splattering intestines over everyone in the room.

[Jalor]

4,088,905,632,098 breakfasts? Is that a hobbit halfling thing?

[PirateMonk]

"Yeah, sort of. I inherited the halfling ability to make food vanish without trace, but apparently it breaks down once you reach that order of magnitude."

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Gwyn smiles. "I can make food vanish without a trace."

He nukes the base. A few times.

"Ow. I think i missed."

[Haruki-kun]

Oh, great. The base has been nuked again....

Haruki gets on the phone with the insurance people.

Yes, I know this is the third time this week! But you guys supposedly cover the expenses if the base is nuked, so get over here!

[Uncle Festy]

Homer eats one and a half baker's dozens of eggrolls for breakfast. He burps.

[PirateMonk]

"We have insurance?"

[Uncle Festy]

Homer says, "I thought it was the Autorepair system?"
Nothing to see here...
He pokes TPBM with an uneaten eggroll. "Here, have an eggroll."

[Haruki-kun]

"We have insurance?"

Well, of course. But they always seem to get out of paying. Nuking the whole base has got to be worth a few dollars, though.

[PirateMonk]

"You mean there are actually insurance companies dumb enough to cover us?"

[Haruki-kun]

It..... involved an offer they couldn't refuse, to movie quote it.....

[Uncle Festy]

Homer makes another attempt at offering an eggroll to TPBM.

[Raider]

Shovels snatches the eggroll from Homer and throws into the recesses of his mouth.

"Thanks Homie-O, I needed a snack."

Shovels burps and a few barbie body parts emerge from his mouth.

"Best not to ask."

Just then an agent from the insurance company shows up with a "I'm just smiling because if I killed you I would have to flee the country with my family of 6 and eventually work my way back up the corporate ladder for doing disgraceful favors for the boss and like dealing with the human resource officer" look.
"Howdy Ho guys, if you could just sign these papers we will...."

Shovels shoots the man with a revolver...........before sending a few rounds
PM's way.

[PirateMonk]

PM dies horribly. Another clone sighs. "I'd say we should clean the blood off that rug... but it would take too long and it will just get bloody again, so why bother?"

[Uncle Festy]

*eats the carpet*
"What? I was bored."

[Volug]

Because I'm bored...
Uncle Festy turns into the carpet he was eating. Then a random dog comes by and "Goes to the bathroom" on it.

[Uncle Festy]

"It's a good thing that Uncle Festy's not here, eh?"
The illusionary Homer removes the illusion that he's eating the illusionary rug, and casts Phantasmal Killer on Masato. He giggles disturbingly, and disappears.

[Haruki-kun]

I'm just here to break the tension!

*plays the Cowbell*

[Uncle Festy]

*Bump*
"I'm bored now. What happened to that clown?"

[Raider]

Shovels, absentmindly reading the personals in the paper, turns the page.

"I fed him to piranhas awhile ago, pay attention man."

[Goblin Music]

the paper explodes

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok pulls a sniper rifle from off-screen, and proceeds to pull a bullet in between the eyes of the next person to post.

[Saurous]

The bullet passes through Saurous' incoporeal form.

SP sneaks up behind Magtok, and stabs him in the back with a butterfly knife for an instant-kill ala Team Fortress 2.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok is back-stabbed, and falls dead, as he always does.

[Raider]

Shovels is burnt horribly and his pumpkiny flesh slowly cooks him into a quite tasty pumpkin pie.

An inhuman hand shoots from the ground of the pumpkin patch.....