Tetsubo 57
2008-03-15, 07:35 PM
I talked my wife into going to see a matinee of this today.
Read no further if you wish to see the film without spoilers.
OK.
The movie is a visual feast. Chock full of images that will warm the cockles of any Post-Apocalyptic heart. This film will be welcomed fodder for many campaigns set in a PA future. The effects are top notch, the fight scenes well choreographed, the costuming well done. The gore is quite high and executed with style and arterial sprays. Many things get shot, blown up and squished beneath spinning tires.
I particularly liked the PA weapons made from the dross of our modern world. The personal body armour was also fairly good.
Rhona Mitra did an admirable job of playing Milla Jovovich. Bob Hoskins was wonderful and in far too few scenes. The supporting cast was supporting. Filling all the roles you would expect and doing so with conviction. Malcolm McDowell chewed the scenes with vigor and was quite adept at the old ultraviolence.
Alright then. The positive portion of this post now ends.
The stupid in this movie was turned up to eleven.
The Reaper virus starts in Glasgow Scotland. They compare it to the common cold (rhinovirus) so I assume that it is spread via sneezing and coughing. Though the infected persons blood is also shown as being dangerous. Which isn't like the common cold at all. It appears to be far more virulent than anything yet seen by man. It makes ebola look like the sniffles. It visually made me think of the Black Death and the boils that accompany it.
Problem, in the 21st Century we have the germ theory of disease. Simple face masks would have prevented the spread of this virus or at least slowed it significantly. During the Black Death people didn't understand what caused diseases. I know that the state of science education in the modern world is poor, but not this poor.
The British government builds a wall along the traditional border formed by Hadrians Wall. They do this in less then two months. Thirty feet high with gun towers all along it's top edge. In. Two. Months.
They also somehow blockade the *entire* coastline of Scotland. The British have never been able to do this in the past. But by June, 2008 they magically pull off the stunt.
Once Scotland has been magically sealed off from the world everyone breaths a sigh of relief. Because there isn't any way possible for an airborne disease to overcome a *wall*.
One character states that the British military locks a satellite onto Glasgow to keep an eye on things. But they fail to see human activity for 24 years. There are *hundreds* of survivors within the city, but no one ever shows for twenty-four years. Right.
The Reaper virus shows up in London. Government and public panic ensues. Understandable. They decide to send a ground team in to find out how the survivors have, well survived. They choose not to use helicopters because Scotland is a "no fly zone". Since the British are the ones that put that rule into place, why can't they rescind it? They also choose not to use any form of unmanned drones. Right.
On the way to Glasgow the team encounters a herd of cattle numbering in the hundreds. Remember that. The team they send in is of course attacked by the raving lunatics that now inhabit Glasgow. For some reason they keep charging people who are shooting them with automatic weapons. Very stupid. The team gets split up. Two get captured, our heroine being one.
The Raving Loons cook a soldier alive and eat him. On camera. Remember those cattle? I guess human is the other white meat. It might also be handy if Scotland has some land animal that was plentiful. One that maybe out numbers the human popular even today. Maybe even produces a renewable fiber that you can turn into cloth. Pity such an animal doesn't exist in *Scotland*.
The team makes it to a steam train. A working steam train. Which was never seen by a satellite.
The remaining team makes it to their target, a former doctor who might have the cure for the Reaper virus. He is Malcolm McDowell and is not inclined to help. He has set-up a pseudo-medieval society that is "free" of the 21st Century influence. I hope they don't have the traditional bad British teeth.
The three remaining characters go to a bunker for tools to make it back alive. A bunker that is known about by the current Scots but has been ignored for twenty-seven years. One with so many crates it looks like the Indiana Jones scene at the end of the Ark episode. The bunker also still has a functioning generator. They find a car. With inflated tires, a live battery and a tank of clean gasoline in perfect condition.
A chase ensues. Death, car wrecks, you know the drill. Our heroes prevail. Though the female lead decides to stay in Scotland for some odd reason. Maybe she likes the raving Loons fashion sense.
PA fiction that was mined by Doomsday for ideas. Actually, "mined" is not a strong enough word. Raped, that is a better choice. Here is a partial list:
Mad Max, Damnation Alley, Batman: Dark Knight, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, Omega Man, Escape From New York, Logan's Run, Resident Evil.
There really isn't an original plot point in this movie.
Things I learned while watching this movie:
Smoking is still a popular though disgusting habit.
Vehicles explode into huge fireballs if you so much as kick them.
Rabbits do not fair well against wall mounted machine guns.
Cows do not fair well when they play chicken with an APC.
Humans prefer the taste of human meat to any other.
Torture *never* goes out of style.
My wife thought the character of Saul (lead Raving Loon) was the dumbest character she has ever seen on film.
Steam engines are simple machines that can be run by one guy.
Traffic signs still blink after twenty-seven years.
British soldiers in 2035 all know how to ride war horses.
I can't say I am unhappy I saw this movie. But even with effort I can't turn my brain off enough to think it is good. Rent this one. Show it to your PA group. But don't expect Shakespeare. Don't expect Snake Pliskin for that matter.
Read no further if you wish to see the film without spoilers.
OK.
The movie is a visual feast. Chock full of images that will warm the cockles of any Post-Apocalyptic heart. This film will be welcomed fodder for many campaigns set in a PA future. The effects are top notch, the fight scenes well choreographed, the costuming well done. The gore is quite high and executed with style and arterial sprays. Many things get shot, blown up and squished beneath spinning tires.
I particularly liked the PA weapons made from the dross of our modern world. The personal body armour was also fairly good.
Rhona Mitra did an admirable job of playing Milla Jovovich. Bob Hoskins was wonderful and in far too few scenes. The supporting cast was supporting. Filling all the roles you would expect and doing so with conviction. Malcolm McDowell chewed the scenes with vigor and was quite adept at the old ultraviolence.
Alright then. The positive portion of this post now ends.
The stupid in this movie was turned up to eleven.
The Reaper virus starts in Glasgow Scotland. They compare it to the common cold (rhinovirus) so I assume that it is spread via sneezing and coughing. Though the infected persons blood is also shown as being dangerous. Which isn't like the common cold at all. It appears to be far more virulent than anything yet seen by man. It makes ebola look like the sniffles. It visually made me think of the Black Death and the boils that accompany it.
Problem, in the 21st Century we have the germ theory of disease. Simple face masks would have prevented the spread of this virus or at least slowed it significantly. During the Black Death people didn't understand what caused diseases. I know that the state of science education in the modern world is poor, but not this poor.
The British government builds a wall along the traditional border formed by Hadrians Wall. They do this in less then two months. Thirty feet high with gun towers all along it's top edge. In. Two. Months.
They also somehow blockade the *entire* coastline of Scotland. The British have never been able to do this in the past. But by June, 2008 they magically pull off the stunt.
Once Scotland has been magically sealed off from the world everyone breaths a sigh of relief. Because there isn't any way possible for an airborne disease to overcome a *wall*.
One character states that the British military locks a satellite onto Glasgow to keep an eye on things. But they fail to see human activity for 24 years. There are *hundreds* of survivors within the city, but no one ever shows for twenty-four years. Right.
The Reaper virus shows up in London. Government and public panic ensues. Understandable. They decide to send a ground team in to find out how the survivors have, well survived. They choose not to use helicopters because Scotland is a "no fly zone". Since the British are the ones that put that rule into place, why can't they rescind it? They also choose not to use any form of unmanned drones. Right.
On the way to Glasgow the team encounters a herd of cattle numbering in the hundreds. Remember that. The team they send in is of course attacked by the raving lunatics that now inhabit Glasgow. For some reason they keep charging people who are shooting them with automatic weapons. Very stupid. The team gets split up. Two get captured, our heroine being one.
The Raving Loons cook a soldier alive and eat him. On camera. Remember those cattle? I guess human is the other white meat. It might also be handy if Scotland has some land animal that was plentiful. One that maybe out numbers the human popular even today. Maybe even produces a renewable fiber that you can turn into cloth. Pity such an animal doesn't exist in *Scotland*.
The team makes it to a steam train. A working steam train. Which was never seen by a satellite.
The remaining team makes it to their target, a former doctor who might have the cure for the Reaper virus. He is Malcolm McDowell and is not inclined to help. He has set-up a pseudo-medieval society that is "free" of the 21st Century influence. I hope they don't have the traditional bad British teeth.
The three remaining characters go to a bunker for tools to make it back alive. A bunker that is known about by the current Scots but has been ignored for twenty-seven years. One with so many crates it looks like the Indiana Jones scene at the end of the Ark episode. The bunker also still has a functioning generator. They find a car. With inflated tires, a live battery and a tank of clean gasoline in perfect condition.
A chase ensues. Death, car wrecks, you know the drill. Our heroes prevail. Though the female lead decides to stay in Scotland for some odd reason. Maybe she likes the raving Loons fashion sense.
PA fiction that was mined by Doomsday for ideas. Actually, "mined" is not a strong enough word. Raped, that is a better choice. Here is a partial list:
Mad Max, Damnation Alley, Batman: Dark Knight, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, Omega Man, Escape From New York, Logan's Run, Resident Evil.
There really isn't an original plot point in this movie.
Things I learned while watching this movie:
Smoking is still a popular though disgusting habit.
Vehicles explode into huge fireballs if you so much as kick them.
Rabbits do not fair well against wall mounted machine guns.
Cows do not fair well when they play chicken with an APC.
Humans prefer the taste of human meat to any other.
Torture *never* goes out of style.
My wife thought the character of Saul (lead Raving Loon) was the dumbest character she has ever seen on film.
Steam engines are simple machines that can be run by one guy.
Traffic signs still blink after twenty-seven years.
British soldiers in 2035 all know how to ride war horses.
I can't say I am unhappy I saw this movie. But even with effort I can't turn my brain off enough to think it is good. Rent this one. Show it to your PA group. But don't expect Shakespeare. Don't expect Snake Pliskin for that matter.