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ColdBrew
2008-04-24, 11:20 PM
Xbox from Microsoft vs. the Witch King from Lord of the Rings.

Rules:

They are in a circular arena with a diameter of one mile.
They cannot fly more than a mile high in the air.
There is no cover, just empty ground.
Since Xbox is a game console and not a man, the prophecy isn't protecting the Witch King.
Xbox is using original hardware and may suffer disk read errors.
The Witch King has his Fell Beast and Xbox has a mod chip installed.
Most important rule: I am the supreme authority on any rules that may be brought into question later. If a rule is unclear, my interpretation of it is what goes here.

Personally, I give it to Xbox on sheer size. It's hueg amirite?

Rutee
2008-04-24, 11:22 PM
It's bulletproof too. But I'm going to have to say the Witch King is far more terrifying then Microsoft.

ColdBrew
2008-04-24, 11:35 PM
It's bulletproof too. But I'm going to have to say the Witch King is far more terrifying then Microsoft.
Yeah, but what if the Xbox were to fall on him? It's not a blade, so it wouldn't be destroyed, and it would totally crush him and his beast.

Mewtarthio
2008-04-25, 12:44 AM
Everyone knows that the Xbox corrupts small children and turns them into daemons. Morgoth, meanwhile, is incapable of creating, but can corrupt very well. Therefore, the Xbox is actually a tiny node for channeling the power of Morgoth, possibly an eye or something.

Xbox = Morgoth; Morgoth > Sauron; Sauron > Witch-King; ergo, Xbox > Witch King

QED. You can't argue with logic, Rutee.

Rutee
2008-04-25, 01:00 AM
Sigh. I suppose not. You win this round, Mewtarthio and Coldbrew.

The Necroswanso
2008-04-25, 01:11 AM
Everyone knows that the Xbox corrupts small children and turns them into daemons. Morgoth, meanwhile, is incapable of creating, but can corrupt very well. Therefore, the Xbox is actually a tiny node for channeling the power of Morgoth, possibly an eye or something.

Xbox = Morgoth; Morgoth > Sauron; Sauron > Witch-King; ergo, Xbox > Witch King

QED. You can't argue with logic, Rutee.

Unfortunately that was the most intelligent thing I've heard all week.

skywalker
2008-04-25, 01:22 AM
Xbox from Microsoft vs. the Witch King from Lord of the Rings.

Rules:

They are in a circular arena with a diameter of one mile.
They cannot fly more than a mile high in the air.
There is no cover, just empty ground.
Since Xbox is a game console and not a man, the prophecy isn't protecting the Witch King.
Xbox is using original hardware and may suffer disk read errors.
The Witch King has his Fell Beast and Xbox has a mod chip installed.
Most important rule: I am the supreme authority on any rules that may be brought into question later. If a rule is unclear, my interpretation of it is what goes here.

Personally, I give it to Xbox on sheer size. It's hueg amirite?

So, wait, is it using original hardware, or does it have a mod chip? If it has a mod chip, which mod chip is it?

Rogue 7
2008-04-25, 01:23 AM
Y'all are strange, strange people, just so you know.

Closet_Skeleton
2008-04-25, 02:18 AM
I'm pretty sure that the XBox had better graphics but the Witch King had more fun games.

DraPrime
2008-04-25, 07:24 AM
Wait, is this serious?

Closet_Skeleton
2008-04-25, 07:45 AM
Wait, is this serious?

Sssh... you'll ruin the fun

GoC
2008-04-25, 08:18 AM
It's bulletproof too. But I'm going to have to say the Witch King is far more terrifying then Microsoft.

I couldn't disagree more.:smalleek:

Krrth
2008-04-25, 08:56 AM
Don't all of you know that the Microsoft operating systems ARE the one ring? Think about it. Since energy cannot be destroyed, what happened to the evil of the ring once it hit the lava? It got transformed, and corrupted bill gates.
This neabs of course, that the WK is actually bound to Microsoft, and is thus subservient to the X-box.

ColdBrew
2008-04-25, 09:17 AM
So, wait, is it using original hardware, or does it have a mod chip? If it has a mod chip, which mod chip is it?

Let's say all launch hardware + a Hyper X chip.

Illiterate Scribe
2008-04-25, 10:11 AM
The great thing about the 360 isn't beating the Lord of the NazgŻl, it's showing everyone online that I did.

EvilElitest
2008-04-25, 01:35 PM
Y'all are strange, strange people, just so you know.

this thread is strange



I support rutee
from
EE

Bryn
2008-04-25, 03:45 PM
I support rutee
from
EE
Left is right.
Up is down.
Black is white.
EvilElitest has agreed with Rutee.
The apocalypse is nigh. :smalltongue:

As for the subject at hand...
The XBox is a popular console with a variety of games. Ergo, it is very versatile. The Witch King has magic and a sword (and a fell beast), and is thus not so versatile. In such a situation, the fight can be likened to a battle between a Batman wizard and a CW Samurai. There is almost no limit to the number of ways the wizardxbox can beat the samuraiwitch king.

Closet_Skeleton
2008-04-25, 05:00 PM
The Xbox has the knowledge advantage. Since there are no Xboxes on middle earth, the Witch King has no knowledge of the Xbox's abilities while there is a Lord of the Rings game so the Xbox would know all about the Witch King.

EvilElitest
2008-04-25, 05:23 PM
Left is right.
Up is down.
Black is white.
EvilElitest has agreed with Rutee.
The apocalypse is nigh. :smalltongue:


Nothing makes sense any more, all logic losses its value. Life's purpose is no longer apperent

I think i'm in love:smallredface:
from
EE

DraPrime
2008-04-25, 05:55 PM
You have to be sh*ting me. No way is this thread still around.

Seraph
2008-04-25, 06:05 PM
witch king is pulled by the Xbox's gravitational field and hits the disc tray at a significant multiple of earth's terminal velocity.

advantage: Xbox.

nothingclever
2008-04-25, 06:17 PM
Xbox can access the infinite knowledge and power of the intarwebs while the Witch King just summons demons and dead people. Pfffft.

EvilElitest
2008-04-25, 06:21 PM
You have to be sh*ting me. No way is this thread still around.

The power of illogic can do amazing things
from
EE

Jayngfet
2008-04-25, 06:31 PM
You have to be sh*ting me. No way is this thread still around.

dude, we are not sh*ting you.

and Xbox wins, no contest.

EvilElitest
2008-04-25, 06:34 PM
dude, we are not sh*ting you.

and Xbox wins, no contest.

Me and Rutee unite against your illogic
from
EE

Mewtarthio
2008-04-25, 07:02 PM
Oh, really? Well how about a quote from Time magazine (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1061433-3,00.html):


If the old Xbox looked like something recovered from a fallen asteroidóan angry, evil asteroidó[the Xbox 360] looked like something created on planet Earth, albeit a near future, slightly utopian planet Earth.

There you have it. The Xbox is from space, and the Xbox 360 is from the future. Not only that, but a single asteroid was sufficient to not only create an Xbox for every household in America, but also to take over the world so that the future would be filled with Xbox 360s. And then the 360s travelled back in time, probably to conquer the world even faster. You cannot argue with that sort of dedication, nor with those resources. To paraphrase Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer: "Middle-Earth is doomed."

Rutee
2008-04-25, 07:22 PM
...So Morgoth comes from space too?

I need a freaking drink.

Jayngfet
2008-04-25, 07:35 PM
Me and Rutee unite against your illogic
from
EE

illogic? my dear boy, the 360 is a marvel of the modern world, a perfectly synchronized mind capable of connecting with thousands like it, plus the lotor games, the Witch kings weaknesses would be public knowledge in an instant, even if he and his thousand brothers failed someone could fell him with minimal effort.

now if you'll excuse me



I need a freaking drink.

EvilElitest
2008-04-25, 09:36 PM
illogic? my dear boy, the 360 is a marvel of the modern world, a perfectly synchronized mind capable of connecting with thousands like it, plus the lotor games, the Witch kings weaknesses would be public knowledge in an instant, even if he and his thousand brothers failed someone could fell him with minimal effort.

now if you'll excuse me

You've forced me to agree with Rutee on every single thing she has said on this thread. nothing makes sense any more, i need a drink as well
from
EE

TheThan
2008-04-25, 09:53 PM
I dunno, the Xbox has for controllers and can be played. The witch king has one, but I donít know if he can be played.

Gungnir
2008-04-25, 10:36 PM
They are in a circular arena with a diameter of one mile.

Personally, I give it to Xbox on sheer size. It's hueg amirite?

Unfortunately, the Xbox is disqualified for exiting the arena, on account of IT'S TOO BIG TO FIT IN THE ARENA.

Arakune
2008-04-25, 11:30 PM
1 Witch King plays Xbox
2 Become stuck in some area in the game
3 Become furious and curses the console: still stuck
4 Hit the console, the console explodes and kill Witch King
5 Tie

skywalker
2008-04-26, 01:34 AM
I think i'm in love:smallredface:

With who/what?

GrassyGnoll
2008-04-26, 01:45 AM
The great thing about the 360 isn't beating the Lord of the NazgŻl, it's showing everyone online that I did.

But the 360 is not xbawks hueg. It still might win out of sheer volume of shootan' games.

Fri
2008-04-26, 02:52 AM
Wait, so little love for the poor witch king?

Okay, an X-Box had enough hardware to control an F-16 Fighting Falcon. Even to control a factory that produce a whole bunch of F-16, blame the advance of microprocessor. But the internal software? Not that good. It'll crash in the middle of the fight.

The witch king will win.

On the other hand there's quite a few of lotr game where we can kill the witch king in the xbox. So..

But I stand with the underdog. Go witch king.

Or, this might became a duel of their bosses' willpower? Sauron vs Bill Gates in willpower and mind control duel...

Sigh... Bill Gates will win, no chance for Sauron. Damnit, I really want for the witch king to win.

or the witch king could just smash the x-box with its hammer

Rutee
2008-04-26, 02:53 AM
or the witch king could just smash the x-box with its hammer
Improbable; It's bullet proof.

The_Snark
2008-04-26, 04:35 AM
Improbable; It's bullet proof.

Regardless of whether it works, the Witch-king scores at least a moral victory by hitting the X-box with this (http://www.theargonath.cc/characters/witchking/picstoppic.jpg). How many people would have jumped at the chance to do that?

Closet_Skeleton
2008-04-26, 04:58 AM
Improbable; It's bullet proof.

It isn't hammer proof. I read once that Arrows can piece some forms of bullet proof armour so a similar effect may occur.

Emperor Ing
2008-04-26, 06:07 AM
no no no!
The real question is

Windows Vista vs The God Emperor of Man

EvilElitest
2008-04-26, 09:03 AM
With who/what?

um, nobody, i'd never, nope:smallredface:
you know, can't stop thinking about Rutee



Regardless of whether it works, the Witch-king scores at least a moral victory by hitting the X-box with this. How many people would have jumped at the chance to do that?
I'd cheer him on, damn you assassin's creed
from
EE

DraPrime
2008-04-26, 09:08 AM
dude, we are not sh*ting you.

No. Clearly this thread is a massive conspiracy to exasperate me.

EvilElitest
2008-04-26, 09:12 AM
No. Clearly this thread is a massive conspiracy to exasperate me.

i get the impression its working
from
EE

Lord_Asmodeus
2008-04-26, 09:47 AM
It isn't hammer proof. I read once that Arrows can piece some forms of bullet proof armour so a similar effect may occur.

That only works on bullet proof vests and Kevlar, and it only works because of the way they are bullet proof. Kevlar is tightly interwoven threads which can block bullets, but it can't stop arrows because it just pierces the threads. Basically the whole reason it can block bullets prevents it from stopping arrows.

Fri
2008-04-26, 10:31 AM
Drats! Foiled by the internet connection, once again!

Originally I was going to post


It is bulletproof. But is it *dramatic pause* HAMMERPROOF?

DraPrime
2008-04-26, 10:40 AM
i get the impression its working
from
EE

Indeed it is. I must find a way to shut down this conspiracy! Assassinations will occur! Arrests will be made! I will not rest until the CEDP (Conspiract to Exasperate DragonPrime) is stopped!

Jayngfet
2008-04-26, 12:23 PM
Indeed it is. I must find a way to shut down this conspiracy! Assassinations will occur! Arrests will be made! I will not rest until the CEDP (Conspiract to Exasperate DragonPrime) is stopped!

we knew you'd say that

nothingclever
2008-04-26, 12:31 PM
Indeed it is. I must find a way to shut down this conspiracy! Assassinations will occur! Arrests will be made! I will not rest until the CEDP (Conspiract to Exasperate DragonPrime) is stopped!

The secret Ministry of Xbox would like to have a word with you sir...

ColdBrew
2008-04-26, 12:49 PM
A new twist appears!

What if the Xbox...had no Live! connection! Also, don't forget that it can run Linux.

Sewer_Bandito
2008-04-26, 12:55 PM
You guys are forgetting one crucial thing. What if the fight lasts too long, the Xbox overheats, and it gets the dreaded RED RING OF DEATH :smalleek: . It's the one weakness I can see the Witch King exploiting.

Closet_Skeleton
2008-04-26, 01:40 PM
A new twist appears!

What if the Xbox...had no Live! connection! Also, don't forget that it can run Linux.

The Witch King can probably run Linux as well.

Jayngfet
2008-04-26, 01:46 PM
The Witch King can probably run Linux as well.

obviously, that's the sort of thing that goes without saying

EvilElitest
2008-04-26, 04:14 PM
Indeed it is. I must find a way to shut down this conspiracy! Assassinations will occur! Arrests will be made! I will not rest until the CEDP (Conspiract to Exasperate DragonPrime) is stopped!

Um sir, we own the OOTS house of Horrors. I doubt think you want to mess with us

And the Red Ring of Death is the one Ring when it is burning in Mt. Doom
from
EE

nothingclever
2008-04-26, 05:52 PM
Xbox wins because it is so hyoooge that it exists everywhere thus allowing it infinite angles to attack with advantage of surprise and it is constantly expanding at the speed of light therefore it eventually becomes so large the gravitational pull it exerts pulls the Witch King in and crushes him like a bug.

skywalker
2008-04-26, 07:09 PM
That only works on bullet proof vests and Kevlar, and it only works because of the way they are bullet proof. Kevlar is tightly interwoven threads which can block bullets, but it can't stop arrows because it just pierces the threads. Basically the whole reason it can block bullets prevents it from stopping arrows.

Yeah, it's like you have to pay extra to get knife-protection on your bulletproof vest(at least, the cops I know do.) An arrow is like a really fast moving knife lol.

I'm pretty sure the XBOX is not made out of kevlar tho(it's very inflexible, if it is). I'm pretty sure it's bulletproof because of some stronger stuff.

Rutee
2008-04-26, 07:16 PM
I'm pretty sure the XBOX is not made out of kevlar tho(it's very inflexible, if it is). I'm pretty sure it's bulletproof because of some stronger stuff.

Like the Evil of Bill Gates.

nothingclever
2008-04-26, 07:31 PM
Like the Evil of Bill Gates.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/nothingclever/billy_gates.jpg

Edan
2008-04-26, 07:36 PM
The xbox uses it lesser known ability to summon rabid fans who then destroy the Witch King with their insane rantings, praise and ludicrous ability to defy truth, logic and everything. No prophecy, armor nor magic can stop a mass of crazed fanboys and fangirls.

Dumbledore lives
2008-04-26, 08:02 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/nothingclever/billy_gates.jpg

He has the one ring to rule them all. We are all doomed! Doomed, I say!

Fri
2008-04-26, 08:38 PM
And the Red Ring of Death is the one Ring when it is burning in Mt. Doom
from
EE

Dangit, I completely forgot about that one ring...

EvilElitest
2008-04-26, 09:24 PM
Dangit, I completely forgot about that one ring...

They always do. Even Bill Gates
from
EE

GoC
2008-04-26, 10:24 PM
The xbox uses it lesser known ability to summon rabid fans who then destroy the Witch King with their insane rantings, praise and ludicrous ability to defy truth, logic and everything. No prophecy, armor nor magic can stop a mass of crazed fanboys and fangirls.

WK then summons his own equally rabid fans!
Noone can stand up to the logical paradox that is EvilElitest!

EvilElitest
2008-04-26, 10:26 PM
WK then summons his own equally rabid fans!
Noone can stand up to the logical paradox that is EvilElitest!

I'm not rabid. I've admitted he can lose, you can't call me illogical on this thread
Paradox? I am logic. Logic is me. We are one
from
EE

GoC
2008-04-26, 11:36 PM
I'm not rabid. I've admitted he can lose, you can't call me illogical on this thread
Paradox? I am logic. Logic is me. We are one
from
EE
You need to learn to take a joke.
I called you a paradox not a spewer of false logic.:smalltongue:

EvilElitest
2008-04-26, 11:46 PM
You need to learn to take a joke.
I called you a paradox not a spewer of false logic.:smalltongue:

I did, and revealed that i am the true embodiment of logic
close enough
from
EE

The Duskblade
2008-04-27, 02:57 AM
Quite possibly been said before but...

One is a being of unspeakable evil horror and decadency. Animated by foul magics and rituals beyond mortal understanding.

The other is a tin man with a ring.

ColdBrew
2008-04-27, 03:59 AM
I must remind people that we're talking about an original Xbox, not a 360.