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Mauve Shirt
2008-05-15, 07:44 PM
For speculation on the new ridiculous M. Night Shamalamadingdong movie!
The twist ending is: HIS CAREER ENDED IN 2002!

SlightlyEvil
2008-05-15, 07:49 PM
I think you're being generous; his career died in 2000.

Also, I think it's gnomes. Microscopic gnomes.

For the record, this came of a conversation between Mauve Shirt and myself, since the trailer says so little. In case you don't remember, the trailer for the film came before Iron Man.

Dancing_Zephyr
2008-05-16, 04:45 PM
The Earth Is Miranada!!!

Hunter Noventa
2008-05-16, 05:24 PM
Glad I'm not the only one who thinks it looks lame. Course, I've thought that almost since seeing trailers for the Sixth Sense. it's like seeing trailers for Will Ferrel movies, it fails to make me want to see them.

Phase
2008-05-16, 05:30 PM
That's all seeing trailers for Will Ferrel movies does to you? They make me outright not want to see them!

SlightlyEvil
2008-05-16, 06:32 PM
it's like seeing trailers for Will Ferrel movies, it fails to make me want to see them.

I have that reaction to virtually every single Will Ferrell movie. The weird thing is, when I actually see them later, I find them hilarious. Almost without fail.

Mauve Shirt
2008-05-16, 06:34 PM
I actually liked The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, but all of the rest were pretty much crap.

Cristo Meyers
2008-05-16, 06:42 PM
I have about as much desire to see this movie as I do...oh, I don't know...Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Sorry, but between Prince Caspian, 88 Minutes, and Deception, The Happening ranks about dead last in movies I want to see right now.

The twist might as well be "This movie was in fact made by Uwe Boll."

Jerthanis
2008-05-16, 10:45 PM
If I didn't know better, I would say M. Night is trying to parody himself.

However, after seeing the deadpan seriousness he brought to the cesspool which was Lady in the Water, and in particular the titular character's prophecy about the destiny of the character played by M. Night himself*.... I don't think he's smart enough to realize how utterly he's failed to produce worthwhile movies since Unbreakable. (I've heard good things and bad things about The Village, but haven't seen it... Signs and Lady were crimes against film)

* The prophecy: "You will write a story that will change the world, but people won't be ready for its genius, and they will kill you for it."

North
2008-05-17, 03:16 AM
Signs was good unless you try and look for the "What a twist" part...

Tom_Violence
2008-05-17, 07:03 AM
Lady In The Water made me laugh my hoop off. I've not actually seen it, mind, I just read the synopsis on IMDB. "She is a "Narf" called Story, a character of bedtime stories, that is chased by a "Scrunt" and she needs to return to her Blue World with an eagle." How is this not an absolute joke?

As for The Happening, the plot sounds like more gibberish than even Southland Tales managed to spew at me. Day in and day out I hear of people trying to get into the movie-making business, and then I see the tripe that is actually produced (at no small cost, might I add) and cannot help but despair. In my more generous moments I can forgive either crap direction or crap writing, but never both.

Squidmaster
2008-05-17, 05:05 PM
I just saw a trailer for that

Horror 101:
if you can't actually be scary, be loud and sudden.

Cristo Meyers
2008-05-17, 05:08 PM
Horror 101:
if you can't actually be scary, be loud and sudden.

Horror 110: When all else fails, use blood. Lots of blood.

MeklorIlavator
2008-05-17, 05:42 PM
Horror 110b: Or Zombies. Everyone's scared of zombies.



Right?

kpenguin
2008-05-18, 04:36 AM
Ha. The use of many exclamation points in the title made me think the OP was actually excited for this movie.

Tom_Violence
2008-05-18, 07:09 AM
Horror 110b: Or Zombies. Everyone's scared of zombies.



Right?

With, like, machine guns! http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20070720.gif

Thima
2008-05-18, 08:35 AM
Zombies with machine guns would be very scary.Vampires that are chasing you speciffically would be even scarier though.
I can't wait for December,The Twilight movie is coming out!YAY!:biggrin:

Serpentine
2008-05-18, 08:47 AM
...I liked Signs, The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and The Village <.<

I have about as much desire to see this movie as I do...oh, I don't know...Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.I also like this one :smallfrown: Maybe you need to be Australian for that one?

Also: I haven't heard about The Happening yet. The title sounds like... is it about a party or something? :smallconfused:

Mauve Shirt
2008-05-18, 08:58 AM
Also: I haven't heard about The Happening yet. The title sounds like... is it about a party or something? :smallconfused:

What you get from the commercial, is people start catching this "disease," but it's not a disease, 'cause then it starts chasing the main characters and destroying houses. It just HAPPENS!!!!!! :smallconfused:
"A couple goes on the run from an apocalyptic crisis that presents a large-scale threat to humanity."

Somewhere I read that M. Night is making a movie based on Avatar: The Last Airbender. This concerns me.

Shadowcaller
2008-05-18, 09:03 AM
What you get from the commercial, is people start catching this "disease," but it's not a disease, 'cause then it starts chasing the main characters and destroying houses. It just HAPPENS!!!!!! :smallconfused:
"A couple goes on the run from an apocalyptic crisis that presents a large-scale threat to humanity."

Somewhere I read that M. Night is making a movie based on Avatar: The Last Airbender. This concerns me.

...I really hope that's just a rumor.

Tom_Violence
2008-05-18, 10:04 AM
...I liked Signs, The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and The Village <.<
I also like this one :smallfrown: Maybe you need to be Australian for that one?

Also: I haven't heard about The Happening yet. The title sounds like... is it about a party or something? :smallconfused:

There are probably support groups that you can join. :smalltongue:

As for The Happening's plot, I read somewhere that its about trees releasing deadly neurotoxins all of a sudden (obviously) and Marky Marky having to outrun the air, the rest of the Funky Bunch presumably having perished already. Sounds pretty cool, huh?

Interesting tidbit: apparently the script needed extensive rewriting before a studio would pick it up. Lets not have everyone gasp at once...

Kaelaroth
2008-05-18, 10:16 AM
...I liked Signs, The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and The Village <.<
I also like this one :smallfrown: Maybe you need to be Australian for that one?

No, I liked Priscilla too, and I'm not Austrailian. And I thought Signs and Unbreakable were good too.

Serpentine
2008-05-18, 10:19 AM
Ah, so you have to be gay or Australian. Gotcha :smallwink:

Innis Cabal
2008-05-18, 10:31 AM
its not a rumor he is doing Avatar live action

and if this will be keeping with his theme of awful movies.....i hope it ceases any other production he ever does

plot twists=/=good movie

Kaelaroth
2008-05-18, 10:33 AM
Ah, so you have to be gay or Australian. Gotcha :smallwink:

Normally I'd dispute that. But... :smalltongue:

Shadowcaller
2008-05-18, 10:35 AM
its not a rumor he is doing Avatar live action

and if this will be keeping with his theme of awful movies.....i hope it ceases any other production he ever does

plot twists=/=good movie

One can always hope can't they?
Well I should not judge a movie I have not seen yet.
But I am unsure if the concept will work, only time will tell I guess.

Vaire
2008-05-18, 11:09 AM
Ah, so you have to be gay or Australian. Gotcha :smallwink:

Or you could just be someone with awesome taste in movies. I love Priscilla. And I'm about as middle America as you can possibly get.

I've liked all the Night movies. Unbreakable, I believe, is the best, but my five year old is obsessed with Signs, and all of my kids loved Lady in the Water (pssst...it's a kids movie).

I'm not sure what he'll do with Avatar. I have trouble visualizing that cartoon as a live action movie. It works so well right now, I'm not sure why they're making a live action. Well, except for the money of course.:smallbiggrin:

Innis Cabal
2008-05-18, 09:47 PM
Spolier ahead, forgot how to do the brackets

The big plot twist is that the plants of the world have released some super toxin killing the human population....

Lets get the green message out of entertianment please? This is keeping in line with Lady in the Water, fulling his ego and pushing his own personal message, we call that a late night CNN special, not something we pay 10 bucks for

Mauve Shirt
2008-05-18, 09:52 PM
So the consensus is the trees are releasing a toxin. WHY IS IT CHASING THEM AROUND?!

Squidmaster
2008-05-18, 10:01 PM
So the consensus is the trees are releasing a toxin. WHY IS IT CHASING THEM AROUND?!

because its from evil trees?

Twin2
2008-05-18, 10:12 PM
Not only is it toxin, but it's toxin advanced enough to trigger suicidal impulses, instead of outright killing the affected. They're too advanced, we must make our time!

Innis Cabal
2008-05-18, 10:27 PM
the toxin can evolve, like Twin2 said, its a smart toxin......one that kills people for being bad to plants......carrot juice is murder......

just proof....this movie isnt worth it

FoE
2008-05-18, 10:34 PM
The Happening takes the cake as possibly the worst movie title I have ever heard. And that includes "Attack of the Clones."

Just watched the trailer, and man does it suck. Bet you I know what the culprit is ....

.... global warming.

No, not global warming specifically, but the Earth rebelling against the nasty humans populating its surface. And only M. Night Shyamalan, who will be cast in the film as the saviour of mankind, can tell us all what we're doing wrong and how we can appease Mother Earth.

I bet you. I ****ing bet you.


Signs was good unless you try and look for the "What a twist" part...

Signs was good for about five minutes after you leave the theatre. And then you realize ...

"Wait? The aliens were vulnerable to water, so they invaded a water planet?"

SurlySeraph
2008-05-18, 10:49 PM
I think the twist ending is going to be that the main character actually caused the neurotoxin plague thingy.

GrassyGnoll
2008-05-18, 10:50 PM
With, like, machine guns! http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20070720.gif

Where is that from? I've seen the "angry turtle vs. space god" one too.

The tweest? The movie theater you thought was full at the beginning of the showing is empty.

Raging_Pacifist
2008-05-18, 11:23 PM
Where is that from? I've seen the "angry turtle vs. space god" one too.

The tweest? The movie theater you thought was full at the beginning of the showing is empty.

And the theatre? Its actually on the moon. Surrounded by aliens. Who just want to borrow a cup of sugar.
What a twist!
Thank you Mr. Shamamamamalon.

Mauve Shirt
2008-05-19, 07:20 AM
The Happening takes the cake as possibly the worst movie title I have ever heard. And that includes "Attack of the Clones."

Just watched the trailer, and man does it suck. Bet you I know what the culprit is ....

.... global warming.

No, not global warming specifically, but the Earth rebelling against the nasty humans populating its surface. And only M. Night Shyamalan, who will be cast in the film as the saviour of mankind, can tell us all what we're doing wrong and how we can appease Mother Earth.

I bet you. I ****ing bet you.

No bet. This is what the twist ending is. :smallsigh:




Signs was good for about five minutes after you leave the theatre. And then you realize ...

"Wait? The aliens were vulnerable to water, so they invaded a water planet?"

That's EXACTLY how I felt about Signs. I liked it for a while, then I thought about all of the stupid that was in it.
It didn't look like it had water on it from deep space! :smallconfused:

Jerthanis
2008-05-19, 02:52 PM
(pssst...it's a kids movie).


Being a kids' movie doesn't excuse the fact that it had an atrocious plot, about twenty pounds of author insertion worship in a five pound bag, petty revenge against his critics and the most stilted overacting that could come out of Paul Giamatti. Should kids' movies get a pass on the qualities that make a good movie and a good story, just because kids have lower standards in those areas as long as there's some imagination or cool visuals?



Signs was good for about five minutes after you leave the theatre. And then you realize ...

"Wait? The aliens were vulnerable to water, so they invaded a water planet?"

Yes, this is what I'm talking about.

Innis Cabal
2008-05-19, 03:53 PM
its also only a matter of time till those same kids that loved the movie when they were kids grow up and watch it one more time and see how awful it is and become even more jaded.

Jimor
2008-05-19, 09:28 PM
So the consensus is the trees are releasing a toxin. WHY IS IT CHASING THEM AROUND?!

Because Durkon was right! :durkon:

SurlySeraph
2008-05-19, 09:42 PM
@^: You win at least 3 internets.

Rogue 7
2008-05-19, 10:04 PM
I still can't believe that this is the dude who's directing the Avatar movie. Apparently the creators are heavily involved, but I'm still really nervous about it.

North
2008-05-19, 11:32 PM
So were being attacked by Dire Trees or Feindish Oxygen? Great. :smallsigh:

Vaire
2008-05-20, 07:58 AM
Being a kids' movie doesn't excuse the fact that it had an atrocious plot, about twenty pounds of author insertion worship in a five pound bag, petty revenge against his critics and the most stilted overacting that could come out of Paul Giamatti. Should kids' movies get a pass on the qualities that make a good movie and a good story, just because kids have lower standards in those areas as long as there's some imagination or cool visuals?
.

No, kids movies don't get a pass from critique, and are in fact subject to more. They were making fun of the names (scrunt, narf) which would be silly in an adult movie, but keeping in mind this was a story originally told to children, silly names can be forgiven, perhaps even preferred. And the plot wasn't atrocious, the acting wasn't bad. Trust me, I have seen many many many kids movies that fall on the bad side of atrocious, and Lady in the Water does not even come close. It has a coherent plot, likable characters, a hero they can actually look up to and good acting (yes, it is good).

There are plenty of truly horrible horrendous movies out there to complain about. M. Night's movies may not be the pinnacle of American cinema, but I find them entertaining and so do many of the people I know.

feghoot
2008-05-21, 11:28 PM
Perhaps the twist is that there isn't a twist, its just happening and the characters never find out what caused it. Kind of like in The Birds.

For what its worth I've been greatly entertained by his movies that I've seen.

Serpentine
2008-05-22, 02:08 AM
I still can't get over that name...

"Hey, what's Happenin' dudes?! What's shakin'?"

"The Happynings" (a TV guide-type magazine in a town on the coast).

Happenings today: Tea and biscuits with the staff.

I mean really, "The Happening"? Why not "The Stuff What Was Going On", or "The Thing", or "It"?
Wait...

InkEyes
2008-05-22, 09:33 PM
Somewhere I read that M. Night is making a movie based on Avatar: The Last Airbender. This concerns me.

He's writing, producing and directing three movies based on the three tv seasons (http://i14.tinypic.com/4qqwrcn.jpg) it's the first question answered by the creators. Who wants to take bets that Aang's name will be changed to Manoj?

Serpentine
2008-05-22, 11:34 PM
Does that mean that it's going to be based on the story of the show, rather than a separate story? That should be interesting.
Personally, I'm just curious to see how it goes. I don't get the "Manoj" thing <.<

Tom_Violence
2008-05-23, 04:52 AM
Does that mean that it's going to be based on the story of the show, rather than a separate story? That should be interesting.
Personally, I'm just curious to see how it goes. I don't get the "Manoj" thing <.<

What do you think the 'M' stands for? :smalltongue: