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View Full Version : Wander + Solid Snake vs Sanger



Tengu
2008-05-18, 04:42 AM
A versus thread that doesn't involve Warhammer 40k? This is madness!

Two badass normals, both with experience with fighting colossal enemies, versus an even more badass swordsman in a 55 m mech. Some points of note:
- The battle takes place on a rocky plateau that none of the combatants are familiar with.
- Wander can use his sword to discover Daizengar's weak points. If hit there with a strong enough weapon, the mech will get damaged, although it will probably take many hits to do so seriously.
- Wander is helped by Agro, who has plot immunity.
- Snake has access to all the weapons he's able to use in-game, including Stinger and Nikita launchers and a stack of rations which he can consume instantly to recover health or save himself from death.
- Snake has access to Codec.
- Alert, Strike and Guard have no effects against human-sized opponents.
- Sanger will not fall for the cardboard box trick.

Who will win? How much would you pay to see the fight?

Rutee
2008-05-18, 05:45 AM
I would sell all of your (You being my players) souls to see this match. FYI: Seishin are abstractions of Super Robot Spiritu, so they're a non issue in a non-mechanics look (Since they /do/ work on human sized opponents. Freaking Tekkamen)

That question answered, we have one critically important question: Has Otacon played Super Robot Wars? What kind of advice would he get?

* Snake places Codec call
Snake: Otacon, what the hell is that?
Otacon: That's Sanger Zomvolt, the Sword that Cleaves Evil.
Snake: ....
Otacon: He's a heroic pilot who fights threats to humanity. I'm not sure why you're fighting him...
Snake: ...And the kid?
Otacon: That's Wander. He specializes in fighting enormous enemies he really shouldn't stand a chance against.
Snake: How the hell do I fight something that big?
Otacon: Hm... Well, Wander's sword should reveal weak points in the Dygenguard-
Snake: Dygen-what?
Otacon: Dygenguard, the robot. Also, its sword is propelled by huge thrusters along the back of the blade.. you should try firing a Stinger missile at those thrusters.
Snake: Yeah, it is an enormous sword. I wonder if he'll still be able to swing it. Who brings a sword to a gunfight anyway?
Otacon: Well, do you have a gun that big?
Snake: I suppose not.. how can I avoid a swing from that thing anyway?
Otacon: I'm not sure. Just stay Alert, Snake. *snicker*
Snake: ....
Otacon: Right, good luck.

* Snake calls the Colonel
Snake: Colonel, please tell me you're more useful then Otacon.
Colonel: Major Sanger Zomvolt.. He calls himself the Sword that Cleaves Evil because he takes an incredibly over the top stance against immorality.
Snake: How does everyone else know about these crazy people I've never heard of?
Colonel: Do you read the dossiers you're given in the mission briefings?
Snake: .....
Colonel: Exactly
Snake: Anyway, if he only fights evil, maybe I can use that against him somehow?
Colonel: I don't think so.. he's raised his sword against good people during the DC War, though it was only for their own good.
Snake: The what war?
Colonel: Anyway, Snake, exercise the utmost caution. He's a dangerous enemy, nigh immune to your normal weapons.
Snake: Right, I'll remember that.

Tengu
2008-05-18, 05:50 AM
That question answered, we have one critically important question: Has Otacon played Super Robot Wars? What kind of advice would he get?


He's a mecha otaku. I think that answers the question.

ZeroNumerous
2008-05-18, 06:05 AM
Since Wander can't be understood, Snake would only need to regal Sanger with his tale of heart-wrenching woe in order to win him over to their side. So it's non-fight.

But then who would win between Wander, Solid Snake, Sanger on foot, and Master Asia? :smallconfused:

Rutee
2008-05-18, 06:08 AM
I don't know, I mean. Sanger might fight Snake for Snake's own good. Toughen him up to take down future Metal Gears.

ZeroNumerous
2008-05-18, 07:01 AM
But that would imply that Sanger would pilot a Metal Gear..

"Metal Gear Solid: He Who Cuts Evil"

Cubey
2008-05-18, 07:29 AM
Since Wander doesn't talk,

I'm pretty sure he does talk - he did it in the intro and he calls Agro by his name during the gameplay. The problem is that he doesn't know any civilised language, only some pseudo-Japanese mixed with pseudo-Germanic. Does that count?

Tengu
2008-05-18, 07:45 AM
pseudo-Japanese mixed with pseudo-Germanic.

Daijiob? ( Ico)

ZeroNumerous
2008-05-18, 08:28 AM
I'm pretty sure he does talk - he did it in the intro and he calls Agro by his name during the gameplay. The problem is that he doesn't know any civilised language, only some pseudo-Japanese mixed with pseudo-Germanic. Does that count?


Since Wander can't be understood

Fixed for semantics. :smalltongue:

Fri
2008-05-18, 10:20 AM
Actually, there's someone who sanger should meet.

Schwarz Bruder. I'd pay to see an anachronistic german samurai vs german ninja fight, with or without giant robot.

ZeroNumerous
2008-05-18, 10:36 AM
Schwarz is may not be evil, but he's made of evil. Sanger wins that hands down, because he exists to destroy that very thing.

Tengu
2008-05-18, 11:49 AM
I'm tempted to add a certain theory popular among MGS fans to this battle.


Snake isn't actually fluent in six languages
Snake appears fluent in multiple languages because he's able to recognise intonation. This allows him to recognise an ideal sentence fragment to repeat back to the speaker with a question mark at the end. He doesn't actually know what he's saying.

"Sword that smites evil?"