View Full Version : Spongebob vs. Cthulhu

2008-05-26, 09:21 AM
Cthulhu has been awakened, close to bikini bottom. In an effort to save the world, Spongebob takes Cthulhu on. Assume, for the purpose of discussion, that Cthulhu is fully awake, and Spongebob has access to every gadget he ever had access to in the series.

Saithis Bladewing
2008-05-26, 09:23 AM
I predict Spongebob's shining enthusiasm will win over the big C.

"F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me! N is for anywhere and anytime at all HEY down in the deep blue seaaaaaaa!

"Now you try it Mr. Cthulu!"

"F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium BOMB! N is for no survivooooooors!"

"No no no, that's not it at all! Try it again! F is for friends..."

2008-05-26, 03:48 PM
You seem to be implying they are separate entities.

2008-05-26, 04:09 PM
You seem to be implying they are separate entities.


spongebob would clearly drive cthulu insane. clearly :smallmad:

Innis Cabal
2008-05-26, 05:04 PM
Hasselhof wins, end of story

2008-05-26, 05:10 PM
SpongeBob. What can Cthulhu do, drive people insane? SpongeBob can do that!

And, he knows Karate.

2008-05-26, 05:20 PM
I'm going to take this seriously, and say that Cthulhu wins without any trouble. This is like setting up a caveman armed with a pointy stick against Yoda.

2008-05-26, 05:34 PM
Spongebob befrends him and 6 months down the line ol' squid features is working as a fry chef at the Krusty Krab.

Pro-tip, never eat fast food prepared by an ancient one.

All of bikini bottom, followed soon by the world as the franchise grows, become a new and terrible form of elderspawn. Squidchops gets what he wanted, and Spongebob make a friend, all in all a sort of draw.

2008-05-26, 05:43 PM
Interesting. Only Chibi Cthulu could really take spongebob on.

2008-05-26, 05:43 PM
Spongebob would own Cthulhu in a fair fight, remember...]

...Without his protective gloves, spongeob's been shown cutting through huge boulders like warm butter.

2008-05-26, 05:43 PM
Spongebob isn't Cthulhu. That's Pikachu. (http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/kovalic/pokethulhu)

2008-05-26, 05:52 PM
Spongebob, because he's


2008-05-26, 06:38 PM
Cthulhu: Resides beneath some benighted ocean. Maybe.
Spongebob: Lives in a pineapple under the sea.

Cthulhu: Drives people utterly insane.
Spongebob: Drives people utterly insane.

Cthulhu: Foul monstrosity birthed from the minds of demented men, his very name a synonym for depraved evil and immense horror.
Spongebob: Ditto.

I really don't see why they'd fight. They should be best buddies.

Steven the Lich
2008-05-26, 06:45 PM
Spongebob cannot win. Many would say he was already insane, but this is not so. Remember in the episode when he lacks sleep? Hallucinations of Krabby Patties everywhere. If that isn't insanity, I don't know what is. Cthulhu will exploit that weakness, and bingo, we have a winner. Cthulhu could always just eat Spongebob up. This concludes my serious views.
*Suddenly, Cthulhu turns into a cartoon*
...Now for my humerous views.
Spongebob wins. Thats it. Too cartoonish to fail, and too funny not to win. Cthulhu would be limited in the cartoon world since... well, its a kids show. Spongebob would

I think the argument that will rage on will be enough to drive Cthulhu insane.

2008-05-26, 06:48 PM
I think everyone realizes SpongeBob doesn't really have a chance, but it's just too funny for him not to win.

Illiterate Scribe
2008-05-26, 06:49 PM
They merge.

Spengbab is born.


2008-05-26, 06:50 PM
Just as planned.

2008-05-26, 06:53 PM
... I've just found my new god.

Ia! Ia! Spengbab!

Illiterate Scribe
2008-05-26, 07:02 PM
... I've just found my new god.

Ia! Ia! Spengbab!

You will be among the first to die.


2008-05-26, 07:03 PM
Spongebob has gained billions of fanatic supporters. Nothing could possibly overturn his legion. No one can stop a Spongebob cultist........no one.

Cthulu is basically a snack for David Hasselhoff though

2008-05-26, 07:08 PM
You will be among the first to die.

This thought gives me indescribable joy, but is too good to be true.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2008-05-26, 09:08 PM
Well, Cthulhu is a large, insanity-bearing monstrosity designed primarily to decimate human-sized humans and withstand human-type weaponry. Much like the Death Star, this leaves him open to a tiny assault.

Spongebob, being smaller than the ordinary Hasselhoffian toe, just might be able to make it through a seam in the aura of insanity. Once through, he could make a mad dash through through this trench in Cthulhu's skin, heading for heading for that ventilation port, or perhaps his ear.

From that point, if he went for the *cough* ventilation port, he could jam Patrick into said port, and, his imprtant gases no escaping, Cthulhu would explode. If he went for the ear, Spongebob could set up camp. Beseiged by the things Spongebob says and does noisily, Cthulhu would be driven insane and likely kill himself.

I am clearly assuming that both Patrick and Spongebob are too small for the Big Squid to easily grab/remove/physically manipulate. If Spongebob succumbs to Cthulhu's insanity-causing abilities after reachin the ear, all the easier.