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Lady Tialait
2008-05-27, 06:42 PM
I posted it earlier, but I never did get much response, so, to avoid thread necromancy...i'll Repost it. Get some Reviews....other then 2 peaple...and See what I can do to make it better.

Newr is a city. and a planet all rolled into one. (think Sigil on crack) Mighty Mages Rule the City and keep it in working order, Gnomes run bardic collages, Halflings roam the city as tour guides, and everything is wonderful...The problem is the current city was build on top of the old city that was in turn built on top of the city before it. Creating a perfect 'Undercity' Newr cannot expand out so new additions are built on top of existing ones. and so on and so forth. Most of the time a group of builder mages come in and just put a plain of force over the old buildings. The Terra Mancers (Earthshaping Dwarven Mages) then put a nice furtial ground over it. the whole process takes a little over 30 minuets and all the inhabits usually get a 1 week notice that they have been due for a upgrade. needless to say some valuables will be left.


Classes

Magic is Very Common in Newr.
Classes I'll allow and their place in the city are as follows:

Barbarians : Also known as 'Rabble' are the peaple in the city who just can't stand the rush of it all. they get upset. usually they spend all their time in the undercities. where a shadow copy of the city has formed as a result. Wizards Loath such chaos as it forces them to Come down from their council chambers and actually beat someone up. Very unbecoming.

Bard: So many peaple bottled up in one place without these charismatic peaple most would kill each other sending the city into chaos. that is why the wizards allow the Bardic collages to continue. A bard is highly loved by the peaple of the city. but distrusted by the wizard controlled government.

Cleric : Not as rare as most think, but careful not to revil themselves. Gods have forsaken the great city, But other sources of Divine magic can be found. Faith alone can create it. One of the most common Clerics is the 'Cleric of the Endless Dragon' A god that only came into being sense the city made a seond layer of itself.

Endless Dragon
N
Domains: Destruction, Healing, and Travel
Doctrine: The dragon's clerics believe that only by destroying that witch is stood so long can the city truly build farther infact they believe that anything that is unfortunate that befalls someone in the city is because of the building over building. So they are called to go deep into the city and find things that no longer should be and ruin them once and for all, and begin the rejuvenation.

Fighter : A mostly ignored class of peaple the wizards do not believe that any one of them could cause enough harm to matter. They realize that any Fighter that could become powerful enough to destroy a wizard would need magic to do so. They find them foolish for their waste of time on learning weapons, Most commoners are at awe at the power of a highly trained figher, Magic isn't awegiveing but a man without its help getting the same results can create a err of quasi-worship.

Monk: The Wizards of Newr Value Order and Magic. They Know that Magic is not unlimited and without a bodyguard they would all be slaughtered in their studies. They found those they called 'Mage-Unfit' and trained them in the ways of the mind. the result was astounding. A discipline that allowed the person speed and strength beyond that of normal man. and the ablitly to never be unarmed. Pleased that it worked out the wizards now have monk bodyguards.

Ranger/Urban Ranger: It's a big City. A very big City. instead of needing a local you need a tour guide. Rangers fit this to the letter. They Guide and find that witch others cant find. They hunt down creatures that shouldn't be found in the city (most likly a wizard did it) and most of all just act as police without authority. Most have meager livings just being a guide but some explore the undercities in search of more

Rouge: When there are over 500 peaple per city block of city squeezed together why not try to make a profit. as always rouges are opportunistic scoundrels who have no quams about defying the authorities. The wizards hate them deeply. Most do not trust them. but then again. alot do..suckers.

Sorcerer: The Most hated people in all the city. the wizards made sure of that. Most didn't do anything wrong but be born with magical talent. the law is 'Kill the demon Spawn on sight or he will kill you' the witch hunt is HUGE as for some reason more and more of them are born every day. and everyone is afraid of them.

Psion: see Sorcerer

Psionic Warrior: see monk

Wilder: see sorcerer add da crack

Soul Knife: see monk...again.


Races

Humans: The humans are of course the most common race in all the city. They are so adaptable that they change to the part of town they live in.

Elves: Hotty, Magically Inept, and long-lived. High Elves make most of the Wizard's of the city, A few are of course not talented these poor creatures are either put though the Rite and turned into Dark elves. or just pushed into the city. After their ears are clipped (showing they are NOT a true elf).

Dwarves: Stoic and Traditional the Dwarven Race has a innate talent for all things Stone, making them the ideal city planners when it comes to making new layers. Many Dwarves learn the fighting arts and still more are put though Monk Training.
Note: Dwarven Favored class changes to Monk in Newr.

Half-Elves: Most Half-elven don't realize they are as they are. the only thing they know is they seem to understand peaple. Unlike in other places Half-elven look exactly like humans other then an unreal grace of their pressance.

Halfling: Quick and Inquisitive, this race is the best at knowing things about the city. Most seem to innately know the city as if it was their own front yard.
Note: Halfling Favored class is Ranger in Newr.

Gnome: Creative and Masters of Illusion. Perhaps a little crazy. Gnomes are the top entertainers of the city and as such command great respect. Whole parts of the town are controlled by these Bardic Masters only second to the Wizards in Influence would be the Gnomish Bardic Collages.

Goblinoid:"the Standard Goblin is commonly known as a 'Street Rat' they live in the less Rich areas of the city and scrounge for this or that. they almost know more about the city as a whole then the halfling. the only thing is they have a very short lifespan due to lack of common sense and a total commented to trying 'something stupid'

The HobGoblin are an experiment of the Wizards on the goblin to try the 'Monk' training on the Goblin the creatures mutated and made a very tactile creature. HobGoblins usually stay on the lower levels of the city making 'outposts' of the abandoned homes.

The BugBear often found in the employ of pretty much anyone who has a business on of the only true helpful experiments of the wizards. Bugbears have a loyalty complex. as long as they are paid they will do as they are told the nickname for them is 'Musclie'

Kobolds: Kobolds believe themselves to be the will of the endless dragon made Manifest. Unlike most devotees of the endless dragon they believe that the oldest and most wore down things of the city are the 'Gnomish Tradition' and will try to kill a gnome on sight. other then they have a tenancy to destroy as much of the city as they can.

Drow: Drow are elves who have been unable to learn to be a wizard by their 100th birthday. They are taken down to the lowest layers of the city and thrown into a pit full of undead and insects. The few who survive are twisted and come out dark skinned and stronger then they once where. the dark energies of this 'Necromatic Swath' infuse them and give them a few powers. Many of them are obsessed with becoming a mage powerful enough to destroy the city. others believe that only martial ability can overcome.

Undead: The city covers the whole planet. No space to 'bury' the dead. so they simply put them on the lowest levels of the city and let them rot. This has created lots and lots of undead down there. the dark energies created means all undead created down there remember who they were.
Note: All undead that weren't created have a minimum INT of 3


Organizations

The Divination of Trust or DoTs: They are mostly Wizards who specialize in looking in the city. But a few agents of them are Fighters, Monks, or Rangers who go out to deal with Crime of the city.

Church of the Endless Dragon: A mostly unknown Church that is differnt from one to the next. As each person who is called by the Church has their own idea of the goals of the Dragon. They all belive that the Dragon wants the city to grow. But they have odd ways of dealing with it.

Lucky's Boys: Lucky is one of the oldest Humans (acually he's a ex-elf) in the whole city A fighter of unparalleled ability He trains alot of Rouges, Fighters and Rangers in his...akward way of fighting.

Newr City Tours: Sense there is no Tourism from other places into Newr this place has been adopted by the city as basically local Transit. tho using a Teleportation Circle would be quicker. The Tour group will take anyone anywhere for a price.

Council of Nine: The ruling senate of Newr. 8 specialist wizards and 1 master of all magic make laws, enforce them and make sure the city's needs are taken care of.



Please, give me your honest opinion. Suggestions, or questions are welcome. Thank you.

JoshuaZ
2008-05-27, 07:46 PM
I'm not going to comment on the spelling and grammar issues. unless you want me to There are a lot of them and that might be one reason you didn't get many comments the first time.

One style remark that I can't resist:
Don't say "needless to say" ever. If it is needless then don't say it.

More substantive remarks:

Sorcerous casting and wizard casting look essentially identical, so you need some explanation of how people can tell "hey! that's one of those evil sorcerer guys!" One suggestion: give eschew material components as a bonus feat to all sorcerers at level 1. Many people do this anyways and it helps produce more of a distinction between sorcerers and wizards.

You also need an explanation for why the wizards don't see the sorcerers as just similarly high-powered people and work together. Is it just prejudice or is there something more pragmatic? For example, if wizards often trade spells then sorcerers won't have much to gain from interacting with wizards. So maybe they have no good way of keeping sorcerers in check. This especially the case because imprisoning a sorcerer and keeping them imprisoned is hard, much harder than with a wizard.

"Psionic Warrior"- I assume you "Psychic Warrior". The powers of a psychic warrior are very similar to those of a psion or a sorcerer. If all other essentially spontaneous casters are regarded this way, why not psychic warriors? Is it because they have less powerful abilities and so are less of a threat or what?

Regarding elves- "Magically Inept"- I do not think that word means what you think it means. "Inept" means they aren't good at something. You likely mean "adept" which means skilled. (Although a world where elves couldn't do magic well would be an interesting change)

Undead- needs more explanation. If all undead remember who they were mean that all undead have positive intelligence scores?

You also may need more details about the setting. How common are wizards? Are the wizards really so powerful as to control the world by force or is it simply that everyone takes it for granted?

As to the geography; is the entire planet city even what oceans there were?


I'd be interested in further political details: How are each of the wizards selected to be on the Council of Nine? Do the wizards specializing in that school select a representative? Or is it by seniority? Are terms on the council indefinite or fixed? How do the various specialist wizards get along? The politics here could get complicated; for example, illusionists and enchanters have magic that covers similar areas, so they might see eye to eye. On the other hand, in some sense they will be competing for similar niches.
Also, how many wizard underlings does each member of the Council of Nine have? If almost every elf becomes a wizard there are presumably a lot of wizards. (This leads to another question; how do the elven behavior in regards to magic make them interact with wizards from the other races?)

That's it for now. I might have more comments if there were more details about the setting.

Lady Tialait
2008-05-27, 08:17 PM
I'm not going to comment on the spelling and grammar issues. unless you want me to There are a lot of them and that might be one reason you didn't get many comments the first time.

One style remark that I can't resist:
Don't say "needless to say" ever. If it is needless then don't say it.

Yeah, i'm not very good at making sure grammar is great. And sometimes the spellchecker messes up words...My spelling is worse then my grammar, so you'll excuse that.


More substantive remarks:

Sorcerous casting and wizard casting look essentially identical, so you need some explanation of how people can tell "hey! that's one of those evil sorcerer guys!" One suggestion: give eschew material components as a bonus feat to all sorcerers at level 1. Many people do this anyways and it helps produce more of a distinction between sorcerers and wizards.

The whole thing between Sorcerors and Wizards is the Wizards can't control the Sorcerors the same way they can control other wizards. Anyone could be a Sorceror, and most of the common peaple can't tell the difference. But, the Demonizing of the talent is how the Wizards are trying to control them. Infact there is more then one Wizard that has been labeled a 'Sorceror'. The class is a definite way to get the title, but any class can end up with it. The Council defines a sorceror as 'A caster of the great magical art that is dangerous because they will not conform to the powers that be'.


You also need an explanation for why the wizards don't see the sorcerers as just similarly high-powered people and work together. Is it just prejudice or is there something more pragmatic? For example, if wizards often trade spells then sorcerers won't have much to gain from interacting with wizards. So maybe they have no good way of keeping sorcerers in check. This especially the case because imprisoning a sorcerer and keeping them imprisoned is hard, much harder than with a wizard.

The Wizards in Newr are not nice folk, they are an oppressive bunch. If the council cannot control you, measure you, and dictate how you use your ability. You are not going to exist in their world.


"Psionic Warrior"- I assume you "Psychic Warrior". The powers of a psychic warrior are very similar to those of a psion or a sorcerer. If all other essentially spontaneous casters are regarded this way, why not psychic warriors? Is it because they have less powerful abilities and so are less of a threat or what?

Yeah, the spellchecker got me there. As for why the wizards don't hate Psychic Warriors is because they are an experiment to get a pseudo-magical body guard. A success at that. It's a mix between a psionic ability and martial strength. They can control the lesser ability and it saves them the need to soil their own hands.


Regarding elves- "Magically Inept"- I do not think that word means what you think it means. "Inept" means they aren't good at something. You likely mean "adept" which means skilled. (Although a world where elves couldn't do magic well would be an interesting change)

Yes, I meant Adept, but spellchecker got it wrong on me...and I was tired when I first typed this, blah. Forgive me?...pwease?



Undead- needs more explanation. If all undead remember who they were mean that all undead have positive intelligence scores?

Undead don't exactly know who they where, not all of them. But they do have a 3 at least in intelligence. They have a vague idea who they where, but they mostly just act like mindless creatures. The point of all this is that you can attempt to reason with an undead, no matter what. In addition, this keeps them in the Necromatic Swath and in the lower levels of the city.




You also may need more details about the setting. How common are wizards? Are the wizards really so powerful as to control the world by force or is it simply that everyone takes it for granted?

There are collages of Bards and Wizards all over the city. It's not uncommon for a shopkeeper to have a history of 1st level wizard, most kids have at least four years of training in a magical art. Wizards are indeed all over the place. The city isn't really held by force, but it's held up by magical maintaining and without this, the city would collapse on itself. the Council controls this, the peaple know this. So, the effect is because the city is maintained by them. They control it.



As to the geography; is the entire planet city even what oceans there were?

Yes, in fact there are parts of the city that purify water from the stagnate places of the world that were once oceans. It's all very urban.


I'd be interested in further political details: How are each of the wizards selected to be on the Council of Nine? Do the wizards specializing in that school select a representative? Or is it by seniority? Are terms on the council indefinite or fixed? How do the various specialist wizards get along? The politics here could get complicated; for example, illusionists and enchanters have magic that covers similar areas, so they might see eye to eye. On the other hand, in some sense they will be competing for similar niches.
Also, how many wizard underlings does each member of the Council of Nine have? If almost every elf becomes a wizard there are presumably a lot of wizards. (This leads to another question; how do the elven behavior in regards to magic make them interact with wizards from the other races?)

Um...i'm breaking this into each question...

How are each of the wizards selected to be on the Council of Nine?
Various ways, mostly the most powerful member of each specialist school is chosen to represent. And the most powerful overall rules over the council. Knowledge of the art is prized.

Are terms on the council indefinite or fixed?
They are indefinite, but often that doesn't mean much, as when you get on the council you have less time for study and anther wizard takes your place when they can prove more powerful.

How do the various specialist wizards get along?
Awkwardly enough, there is no end of fighting among the council, at the beginning of the city the council was of eight members, but that didn't work. there was Civil war. But, after a time the collages decided to add a member one to lead the council. A master of all magic. The basic fights are changing as often as members of the council stay. But, as a generic rule, no one likes the abjurer, his power to destroy magical works annoys them to no end. In addition the necromancer usually is mistrusted, but not always. You see the pattern right?

how many wizard underlings does each member of the Council of Nine have?
It really depends on the power of the member, all are very powerful. But some have more underlings then others. The most notable is the divination specialist and his DoTs.

How do the elven behavior in regards to magic make them interact with wizards from the other races?
The Elven race believes that magic is theirs and theirs alone (even with the dwarven terramancers. ) Other races with magic is just them trying to be elves. That is seen as flattery, but also a bit annoying. There has been members of other races on the Council, much to their dismay.



That's it for now. I might have more comments if there were more details about the setting.

Hope this clears stuff up. If you can think of more things out of what I've said there please do. It helps me think.

TheCountAlucard
2008-05-27, 10:20 PM
Fairly Interesting, but far too many Unnecessary Capitals. From now on, you Might Try to use them only when Strictly Necessary.

The roles for classes seem a little restrictive to me. Might be hard to get an adventuring party together if one person is a wizard's bodyguard, another is "Rabble," and a third has to keep his abilities a secret. For that matter, are there even adventuring parties here?

You were saying Newr is both a city and a planet. Maybe it's the result of a series of Genesis spells by some epic wizard? Just an in-game suggestion.

Lady Tialait
2008-05-27, 10:33 PM
Fairly Interesting, but far too many Unnecessary Capitals. From now on, you Might Try to use them only when Strictly Necessary.

It's an old habit. I have gotten better over time but when i'm stressed out I start doing it.



The roles for classes seem a little restrictive to me. Might be hard to get an adventuring party together if one person is a wizard's bodyguard, another is "Rabble," and a third has to keep his abilities a secret. For that matter, are there even adventuring parties here?

Ooooor, one is a Member of the Rabble, Two are Ex-bodyguards, and the other is outspoken. All are of course hiding...How could there not be a band of montly adventurers?


You were saying Newr is both a city and a planet. Maybe it's the result of a series of Genesis spells by some epic wizard? Just an in-game suggestion.

Perhaps, or it could be a poor world that has been mutilated by the expanding city. Perhaps an order of Druids wish to restore the city to nature, in conjunction with the church of the endless dragon? Who knows. But, I thanks for the suggestion.

Pronounceable
2008-05-28, 02:54 AM
Other thread is still in the front page... I'll repost my comment then.

I must ask: What do they eat?

Other than that, it's a great idea. I especially liked the little bit about hero worship towards fighters. Expand on that and it may well be the best thing since ninja vs pirate.

And maybe a mutated druid concept that worships the city?

Plus I liked inept elves better. That was refreshing.

Lady Tialait
2008-05-28, 03:52 AM
Great, my typos are the greatest thing sense sliced bread.....sadly it doesn't fit the setting.


What do they eat?

Every roof of a house is a possible garden, other then that there is the places of power in the place, artifacts of long ago. First, there is the well of food, it produces as much food as you wish. Second the wellsprings of water, where elemental gate opened and allows fresh water to run into the city. Of course, the wizards eat only the best. The average commoner is slightly urban, has a rooftop garden, or if they live in the undercity, a small fungus garden. The Wizards are not without mercy (as they see it) and allow each citizen in the whole city to be allowed to be counted each day in exchange for a 'create food' spell cast on a bowl. (This is from a Rod of Food.) So, it depends on how wealthy and where in the city they live. Everyone does eat.

As for more on the Fighter, as requested:

Often when the bardic collages are not having a show in that part of town the local soldiers, self-trained weapons masters, and those tutored by other great warriors, put on a exhibition match, to show off their skill with arms. The Wizards seeing the popularity of this started holding once monthly magical duels, but this was seen as mostly the big wigs showing off and nothing too exiting. Generically thought of as geeky to go to such shows.