View Full Version : Squirrel Girl vs a Space Marine
Cybren
2008-05-28, 02:48 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel_Girl
Now see, this one is somewhat of a paradox. A single space marine could easily slaughter her but then that would mean they are not actually that strong. I mean Squirrel Girl is apparently only able to defeat people who are themselves super powerful, even compared to other super powerful people:
Thus far, Squirrel Girl has beaten:
* Doctor Doom[8]
* Mandarin[2]
* Giganto[2]
* MODOK[2]
* Thanos[2]
* Terrax[2]
* Bug-Eyed Voice[9]
* Bi-Beast[3]
* Deadpool[4]
* Pluto[5]
Raiser Blade
2008-05-28, 02:49 AM
Squirrel Girl wins. No contest.
Not even a space marine can stand up to a squirrel rush. :smalltongue:
Emperor Tippy
2008-05-28, 02:54 AM
Yeah, squirrel girls plot armor is just to strong, its over 9,000.
Dihan
2008-05-28, 03:04 AM
Over 9000!?
Anyway, yeah. I feel sorry for Mr Generic Space Marine. He has met his match!
Go go Squirrel Girl!
Kaelaroth
2008-05-28, 03:56 AM
Squirrel Girl instantly wins. There really is no contest here... Generic Space Marine should be quaking in his boots by now.
Vorpal Soda
2008-05-28, 08:56 AM
Yeah, squirrel girls plot armor is just to strong, its over 9,000.
Wouldn't it be very unlikely for her to succeed on a save like that?
You try rolling over 9000 on 1d6. Go on.
Don Julio Anejo
2008-05-28, 12:35 PM
Wait, Squirrel Girl from Sequential art? (http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.html) :confused:
Dihan
2008-05-28, 12:42 PM
Wait, Squirrel Girl from Sequential art? (http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.html) :confused:
Try this Squirrel Girl (http://en.marveldatabase.com/Squirrel_Girl).
DraPrime
2008-05-28, 03:28 PM
I'm glad that something can finally beat a space marine without any difficulty.
chiasaur11
2008-05-28, 03:47 PM
I'm glad that something can finally beat a space marine without any difficulty.
Heck, she can beat Tzeench without difficulty.
Squirrel Girl could beat the freakin' God-Emperor. She has the ability to beat anyone. She's the Coming Storm a thousand times over. She's Deus ex Machina personified. Squirrel Girl always wins. :smalltongue:
Heck, she can beat Tzeench without difficulty.
Just as planned.
Deadmeat.GW
2008-05-29, 05:07 PM
Just as planned.
And the he goes...how, wait a second...no, THAT was not as planned!
Such is the power of Squirrel Girls plot armour...
chiasaur11
2008-05-29, 06:42 PM
And the he goes...how, wait a second...no, THAT was not as planned!
Such is the power of Squirrel Girls plot armour...
No, he'd still SAY just as planned.
If you were a chaos god, you wouldn't admit being caught off guard and defeated by a teenager using squirrels either.
puppyavenger
2008-05-29, 06:51 PM
How does one defeat something without a physical body, who can't be killed without wipeing out free will?
Callos_DeTerran
2008-05-29, 06:56 PM
How does one defeat something without a physical body, who can't be killed without wipeing out free will?
Such is the power of Squirrel Girl.
Actually, I have a theory:
Ever read any Piers Anthony? You remember the character Bink? His magical power essentially is Deus Ex Machina: he is immune to magical attacks. That does not mean he is immune to magic, especially if it aids him. It means he can never be harmed by magic unless it would somehow benefit him or further his goals. Effectively, it allows him to defeat any opponent.
My theory is that Squirrel Girl's power works in very much the same way. If an opponent can concievably be defeated with her secondary squirrel powers, her "beat anybody" talent will enable her to do so. However, when Squirrel Girl is not facing an opponent that would nevertheless bring about her demise (Galactus eating the world), her power works to manipulate the heroes who are facing the threat to defeat it, therefore saving the day.
That's why every improbable stroke of luck that occurs in the Marvel universe can be directly attributed to Squirrel Girl. :smalltongue:
Even when he loses... it's just as planned.
poleboy
2008-05-30, 03:04 AM
This is why I'm not a Marvel fan >_<
Well, one of many reasons actually...
konfeta
2008-05-30, 05:36 AM
However, when Squirrel Girl is not facing an opponent that would nevertheless bring about her demise (Galactus eating the world), her power works to manipulate the heroes who are facing the threat to defeat it, therefore saving the day.
You realize that you just suggested that when faced with Tzeentch, the Squirrel Girl will catalyze the genocide of sentience in the entire galaxy? Even further if the Warp is fed by stuff outside the galaxy, the entire universe? INCLUDING HERSELF?
I think this vs. event is the one to end all life. There will be no winner.
*But then again... this is the end of all sentient life... Squirrels, as their numerous corpses on the roads of America, are not ones that possess intelligence. So it will be Tzeentch loses, Squirrel Girl loses, but Squirrels win?
Shadowcaller
2008-05-30, 05:49 AM
I have an increasingly ugre to draw squirrel girl's dead body for some reason...
You realize that you just suggested that when faced with Tzeentch, the Squirrel Girl will catalyze the genocide of sentience in the entire galaxy? Even further if the Warp is fed by stuff outside the galaxy, the entire universe? INCLUDING HERSELF?
But then her power would allow for events to unfold where the Warp and Realspace fails to collide. See, it manipulates the very fabric of the universe to allow for Squirrel Girl's continued survival.
Shadowcaller
2008-05-30, 05:58 AM
But then her power would allow for events to unfold where the Warp and Realspace fails to collide. See, it manipulates the very fabric of the universe to allow for Squirrel Girl's continued survival.
So moving Squirrel Girl away from earth is the only way to destroy it?
The villans might have find a way to win!
konfeta
2008-05-30, 07:11 AM
But then her power would allow for events to unfold where the Warp and Realspace fails to collide. See, it manipulates the very fabric of the universe to allow for Squirrel Girl's continued survival.
My God man, you figured it out! She is the fifth C'Tan! She will sever the Warp from Reality and then feast upon the life force of the living like cattle!
My God man, you figured it out! She is the fifth C'Tan! She will sever the Warp from Reality and then feast upon the life force of the living like cattle!
Nah. Too busy mooning over Speedball (or, as he's known these days, "Penance") and beating up Deadpool. Though if she wanted to, yeah, Squirrel Girl could unmake reality. If it gets too uppity, that is. :smalltongue:
So moving Squirrel Girl away from earth is the only way to destroy it?
The villans might have find a way to win!
The question is, how would you get her off of Earth? If you went there with the sole intention of getting rid of Squirrel Girl, you would "accidentally" bump into the Silver Surfer or the Skrull or the Marvel Zombies or some damn thing. Her power just won't let you get to her.
Destro_Yersul
2008-05-30, 08:01 AM
Tell her you found a hidden colony of highly evolved squirrels on another planet. The catch is, you actually did. Sure, you evolved the squirrels yourself and then put them there for you to find later, but it still works.
See, it's not your intention to get her off Earth, it's your intention to inform her of a hidden colony of squirrel people. Her leaving is a side effect.:smalltongue:
Shadowcaller
2008-05-30, 08:57 AM
The question is, how would you get her off of Earth? If you went there with the sole intention of getting rid of Squirrel Girl, you would "accidentally" bump into the Silver Surfer or the Skrull or the Marvel Zombies or some damn thing. Her power just won't let you get to her.
Hmm if squirrel girl would leave earth willingly then? Give here...well whatever suirrel girl want as a bride to leave the planet?
Would some kind of "choosen one" work against here? Some hero that is destined to win against well whatever he is fighting. A hero that is under a prophecy to slay Squirrel girl? (prophecy's are never wrong) would that work?
chiasaur11
2008-05-30, 09:31 AM
Removing her from earth won't work. She beat Thanos off world, with Wattcher confirmation, even.
konfeta
2008-05-30, 11:38 AM
Hmm, normally this is where I would call out Captain Kirk to conquer her with his pure, unadulterated charisma, but according to wikipedia she is permanently 14.
Damnation. Perhaps a Sister of Battle with Sister of Battle Girl Scout Cookies? No matter the plot armor, not even the Squirrel Girl is capable of defeating diabetes.
sikyon
2008-05-30, 12:43 PM
Damnation. Perhaps a Sister of Battle with Sister of Battle Girl Scout Cookies? No matter the plot armor, not even the Squirrel Girl is capable of defeating diabetes.
She'll beat them with hostess fruit pies!
Eerie
2008-05-30, 02:34 PM
Sorry to break the party, but Cthulhu will win by invoking the Rule of Cool (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfCool).
Actually, there is probably a very long list of things that win over Squirrel Girl by the Rule of Cool (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfCool). Because Squirrel Girl is not cool.
konfeta
2008-05-30, 02:38 PM
Sorry to rain on your parade, but Plot Armor is the alpha and omega of fiction. Yes, it even beats down on your rule of cool. And Squirrel Girl's atoms are laced with and consist of subatomic particles dubbed Plotium.
Eerie
2008-05-30, 02:41 PM
Sorry to rain on your parade, but Plot Armor is the alpha and omega of fiction. Yes, it even beats down on your rule of cool. And Squirrel Girl's atoms are laced with and consist of subatomic particles dubbed Plotium.
Plot Armor can`t defend you forever.
So at some point Squirell Girl inevitably must be defeated. And this fills me with joy. :smallbiggrin:
WalkingTarget
2008-05-30, 02:41 PM
Sorry to break the party, but Cthulhu will win by invoking the Rule of Cool (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfCool).
Actually, there is probably a very long list of things that win over Squirrel Girl by the Rule of Cool (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfCool). Because Squirrel Girl is not cool.
But even Cthulhu isn't all-powerful. Beware! (http://www.hello-cthulhu.com/)
http://www.hello-cthulhu.com/images/comics/en/001.gif
Telonius
2008-05-30, 02:42 PM
Perhaps an evil squirrel...?
Eerie
2008-05-30, 02:47 PM
Perhaps an evil squirrel...?
Actually, Stoat Girl can defeat Squirell Girl.
You know, on the same principle that Shoeman can defeat Spiderman, and ****man can defeat Shoeman.
chiasaur11
2008-05-30, 04:28 PM
Actually, Stoat Girl can defeat Squirell Girl.
You know, on the same principle that Shoeman can defeat Spiderman, and ****man can defeat Shoeman.
By that logic, Pluto, god of the underworld would beat Lil Miss Green.
He got his butt handed to him.
Rule of Funny combines with plot armor to give her the victory.
Powered by vBulletin® Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.