PDA

View Full Version : A modest proposal



chiasaur11
2008-06-06, 05:05 PM
You know, a lot has been written lately about Plot armor, space marines, and named characters.

This has caused... disagreements.

I propose all generic space marines, in future discussions, be replaced with a known individual with confirmed main character status.
CIAPHAS CAIN, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!

For a simple test of this method of resolving conflict, I propose a test.
CIAPHAS CAIN, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM, vs one of the greatest military heroes of the 1800s, Flash Harry, the Bloody lance, hero of Afghanistan, and knight of England.
No weapons other than basic longswords, a vast, nearly faetureless plane.

If a conflict between these LEGENDARY HEROES does not desolve into petty bickering, we will find this method a workable solution.

Also, Irish babies: Taste decent, but you just want to eat another five minutes later.

Ironically, Chinese babies: Quite filling.

Emperor Tippy
2008-06-06, 05:15 PM
No, no we won't.

And you may want to read this. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=70661)

As for why it won't work:
1) Most people know of space marines, far fewer people know anything about the 40K hero's. This applies to alot of other universes as well.
2) Plot armor and named status should be irrelevant in nigh every vs. thread anyways. Exceptions are made for threads involving Squirrel Girl.
3) Rawhide, an admin, couldn't get most people to follow his Vs. Thread "Suggestions". What makes you think that you will have more success in the attempt?

Terraoblivion
2008-06-06, 05:22 PM
Ummm...Tippy, it is a joke. The reason is that Commissar Cain, from what i can gather at least, is strongly based on Harry Flashman as portrayed in the books by George MacDonald Fraser. Both are utter cowards more likely to run away from battle than participate in it unless somehow forced to fight.

I must admit that what the funny part is supposed to be is a bit unclear, but it is clear meant as such. Well either that or i am just bad at reading subtext.

Jack Squat
2008-06-06, 05:34 PM
I was expecting a discussion on the essay.

I just got the Chili's theme out of my head too...

I want my baby-back, baby-back, baby-back, baby-back ribs

AslanCross
2008-06-06, 06:30 PM
I was expecting a discussion on the essay.

I just got the Chili's theme out of my head too...

I want my baby-back, baby-back, baby-back, baby-back ribs

Same here. >_o That steak is made of CHILDREN!

NinjaHippy
2008-06-06, 06:38 PM
Soylent Green is people?

LBO
2008-06-06, 06:42 PM
I clicked this expecting a reasoned endorsement of eating Irish children. I feel extremely disappointed.

Jack Squat
2008-06-06, 07:39 PM
I clicked this expecting a reasoned endorsement of eating Irish children. I feel extremely disappointed.

The idea's been passed around that you can do the same thing with them as their staple crop.

Boil 'em, Mash 'em, Stick 'em in a stew...

Nerd-o-rama
2008-06-06, 07:44 PM
Agreed with the above posters. This thread needs a retitle. It gives me a hankering for Irish young whenever I read it.

NinjaHippy
2008-06-06, 10:13 PM
Agreed. Still, it's nice to see so many Swift fans here...

Innis Cabal
2008-06-06, 10:37 PM
i came in expecting to defend my people, but i see its just another Vs. Thread with absolutly no real...reason to it....

Terraoblivion
2008-06-06, 11:08 PM
First and foremost it is a joke, Innis. Secondly the two characters actually do make a match as a search of the wikipedia entries for them would show. So i find it unreasonable to complain about there being no sense in the match-up.

That being said an actual discussion of the merits of eating Irish children would have been much more fun.

Jack Squat
2008-06-06, 11:19 PM
If we were to update Swift's article, I would think some Asian or African country would probably take place of the Irish. But those kids are all skin and bones; where's the market in that?

American children might actually be better...afterall, fat does enhance the flavor of meat. :smalltongue:

Terraoblivion
2008-06-06, 11:29 PM
Provided it is not excessive. Excessive fat is just plain disgusting. Also i might be weird but i have found that the extremely lean meat sold at the local organic butcher and at the Arab butchers out in the ghetto tends to be more flavorful than the fattier meat sold in most supermarkets and butcher's here.

Jack Squat
2008-06-06, 11:35 PM
That might have something to do with there not being perservatives pumped into it, and less to do with the actual fat amount.

As to the excess fat, you trim off what you don't need before hand and turn it into lard. That way you have some delicious baked goods down the road.

BRC
2008-06-06, 11:51 PM
Personally, I think that it's all in the preparation.

LBO
2008-06-07, 03:55 AM
The seasonings and condiments are the most important part. Indian kids are already inherently spicy, so lend their flavour well to the rest of the dish, which is a good thing, as they take a while to cook. Fat Westerners are at their finest with rosemary and thyme, roasted until there's a nice layer of crackling, though it varies from country to country - French children, for example, usually come with a delicious smoky flavour, regardless of age.

Terraoblivion
2008-06-07, 11:09 AM
I don't think it is just preservatives, Jack Squat. That is only used for supermarket meat and not for the meat butchers sell, but even so the leaner meat is what tastes the best in general. I think it might relate to the animals having been generally healthier and with more exercise and with a near complete lack of artificially stimulated growth.

And as you can see there is no way we can use American kids. It would just be evil to the customers to give them nasty, greasy meat filled with residue from the unhealthy diet they had. Now Indian kids on the other hand, sounds pretty neat actually and there are a lot of them.

Jack Squat
2008-06-07, 11:33 AM
I don't really think it matters that much at a year old, when they'd be slaughtered. Every baby I've seen has two modes, constantly moving and alseep.

Besides, the more muscles are used, the tougher the meat...we all know the best steaks are the ones that practically melt in your mouth they're so tender.

If you're worried about taste, you could always marinade...or bacon-wrap.

Terraoblivion
2008-06-07, 11:39 AM
However, pigs and cows that have had an active life tends to taste better than those who were raised in a cage and lived all their life in said cage. I am quite certain the same would apply to children, not that i am an expert in the actual production of meat but it seems reasonable to assume so.

Solo
2008-06-07, 11:40 AM
We like babies, yes we do
Baked or boiled in a stew.

LBO
2008-06-07, 11:42 AM
Replace "bacon" with "babies."
http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u320/LBO_photos/bacon.jpg

Jack Squat
2008-06-07, 11:42 AM
hmm...I've always been of the opinion that veal tastes better than normal beef. It's just too expensive for me to get with any sort of frequency.

LBO; I've never laughed so hard while having the growing urge to have baby bacon wrapped shrimp.

Now to dig up that recipe...

MrEdwardNigma
2008-06-07, 12:32 PM
I personally think the taste of babies today has little to do with ethnicity as they thought in mister Swift's time. I mean, that's just racist.

Personally, I think it has more to do with class. I think Sweeney Todd proves that point perfectly. Ironically, off course, Sweeney Todd wasn't set in this day and age either.

Jack Squat
2008-06-07, 12:37 PM
It's not racist...Many animals taste different depending on how they are raised/when they are killed. It all depends on the food they are given, how active they are, and their age. Why would the same thing not apply to humans?

This means it would depend both on class and location.

LBO
2008-06-07, 01:07 PM
^ What he said. "Indian kids" referring to "kids born and raised in India", rather than simply ethnically Indian. (The former, as a rule, are deliciously spicy.)

AslanCross
2008-06-07, 05:09 PM
Children from this part of the world are plentiful and free-range, organically grown in the mean streets. As such they are very lean and have a rich, gamy, smoked flavor.

Jack Squat
2008-06-07, 10:24 PM
Children from this part of the world are plentiful and free-range, organically grown in the mean streets. As such they are very lean and have a rich, gamy, smoked flavor.

I'm not sure they can be both organically grown and have a naturally smoky flavor.

LBO
2008-06-08, 06:31 PM
http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u320/LBO_photos/jackson4.gif

ONLY NOT POPCORN

BABIES

Rowanomicon
2008-06-12, 09:38 PM
Well I, for one, am glad that this thread de-railed into what I thought it would be.

If someone could use the magicks of the computer to alter that MJ clip so that he's eating and chewing a baby (maybe one with a leprechaun hat on) then I would surely pledge my undying allegiance to them.

If one found an appropriate sound clip that would make a great YTMND.

poleboy
2008-06-13, 01:42 AM
Hmm.... I wonder. I've been told that meat-eaters generally don't taste very good, but I've had alligator and that was both sweet and tender. Would a vegetarian human taste better than an omnivorous one? Would a vegan be even better?

Occasional Sage
2008-06-13, 02:23 AM
Hmm.... I wonder. I've been told that meat-eaters generally don't taste very good, but I've had alligator and that was both sweet and tender. Would a vegetarian human taste better than an omnivorous one? Would a vegan be even better?

I've never become a cannibal. I've not been presented the opportunity from the blue, and lack the whatever to create the opportunity.

That said, yes. Vegetarians do indeed taste better. I'd presume vegans likewise are another level of improvement, but I lack evidence.

poleboy
2008-06-13, 06:25 AM
Vegetarians do indeed taste better. I'd presume vegans likewise are another level of improvement, but I lack evidence.

I propose a test. For science, of course! Who will volunteer for this noble mission?

*Starts eyeing people suspiciously while sharpening a butcher knife*

Stupendous_Man
2008-06-13, 06:40 AM
:smalleek:*backs off slowly*

AslanCross
2008-06-13, 05:23 PM
I propose a test. For science, of course! Who will volunteer for this noble mission?

*Starts eyeing people suspiciously while sharpening a butcher knife*

This reminds me of an ad we have here for a cable TV parental control box.

<Little boy in class> When I grow up, I want to be a doctor.
*pause*
<Little boy> *flashes evil grin* Like Hannibal Lecter.
"Do you know what your children are watching?"